Ah My Goddess Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ A Tale of Two Wallets ❯ The Cat's Out of the Bag ( Chapter 15 )

A Tale of Two Wallets

(An Altered Destiny)

Written by Jim Robert Bader

Proofread by Shiva Barnwell

Nabiki came into the living room tired and sleepy and hoping that she could come up with a good excuse to duck one of Genma's practice sessions, even if it meant avoiding a chance to spend more time with Ranma. She was brushing her teeth when she noticed something very odd going on outside in the yard concerning her iinazuke and prospective father-in-law.

"That's it, boy, keep it up, you're doing just fine."

"So you say, Oyaji!" Ranma snapped as he wobbled atop a pair of stilts that had been tied to his legs while he balanced with small fishbowls tied at the end of chords attached to his arms and legs, causing each movement to be wildly exaggerated.

"Oh my," remarked Kasumi as she sat on the porch doing her macramé while watching Ranma fight to maintain his balance.

"What gives?" Nabiki asked as she removed her toothbrush from her mouth, "Ranma-kun trying out for the circus?"

"His father thought he needed more work on his balance," Kasumi replied, "After this he says he'll have Ranma wear a pair of in-line roller skates while performing katas in the dojo, which he says will improve his foot traction."

"Whoaah!" came a yell from outside, followed by a splash and several fish bowls shattering upon various objects.

Nabiki winced sympathetically, then turned as she heard Ranma's voice pitched several octaves higher than before, "Sheesh, Oyaji…you sure this is going to help me work on my balance?"

"Ranma, you complain like a girl…"

"I should be surprised," Nabiki sighed, shaking her head, "I'm not, but I should be…"

"Will you have some breakfast, Nabiki-chan?" Kasumi asked in her usual pleasant manner, ignoring the harsh language that Ranma was using to describe his father.

"In a minute," Nabiki smiled, "I've got to run back up to my room to get something, but I'll be back in a jiffy."

So saying she headed for the stairs, thinking to herself that Genma really did have a clever strategy, getting his son mad enough to try chasing him all around the yard in stilts like that. If Ranma actually did manage to catch up to the old panda it would be a sure sign that his balance was improving.

Of course, knowing where Ranma was likely to park those stilts might make sitting down more difficult for Genma…

She entered her room and at once noticed something very odd was happening which defied even her strained capacity for rational explanation. There was Sham-chan sitting on the chair in front of her computer desk leaning forward with front paws on the keyboard while studying the monitor, which was opened to the latest files concerning her journal entries.

"Hey!" Nabiki called out, getting a surprised and guilty look from the cat as she walked up to her with a scolding expression, "Bad! Very Bad! Do not get up on my computer, cat, you got that?"

Sham-chan gave her a very perplexed look at that, then lowered her head as if hurt by the scolding. Nabiki picked her up and tapped her on the nose with a finger saying, "Cats should not play with computers, do you understand me? I don't want you messing something up by accident, or getting fur in the vent, or something like that…"

Now the cat was looking truly miserable, and that made Nabiki feel bad, so she stopped scolding her and instead took her into her arms and began rubbing her as she sat on the chair, and a moment later Sham-chan relaxed and started purring.

"There now, girl, I'm not really mad at you," Nabiki said, nuzzling the cat's fur with her nose while murmuring into her ears, "I'm sure you were just curious about what it is I find so fascinating about staring at a flat light bulb with kanji on it…oh, what am I saying? Like you really could understand me…"

"Mreow?" Sham-chan said with a note of inquiry.

Nabiki frowned as she studied the computer screen, "Really weird, though…I'm sure I turned this thing off. This files's got a triple encryption on it, so there's no way it could just randomly pop on like that. I wonder…you think somebody else has been trying to read my journal?"

"Meow?" Sham-chan said as innocently as a cat could manage.

Nabiki frowned, "You're right, doesn't sound too likely. I mean, who here knows their way around this computer like me? Ranma sure couldn't do it, and I doubt Akane has either the time or the patience. Kasumi might know how, but I don't see her doing something as rude as coming into my room to read my private, personal thoughts, and as for daddy…I don't think he even knows what a personal home computer is, other than a way for me to save on phone bills. As for Genma, well…" she laughed, implying evil intentions, "He wouldn't have the guts even if he had enough wits to know how to turn on a light switch."

"Meow," Sham-chan seemed to agree with that statement, then made a point to look elsewhere as if hoping her mistress would quietly drop the subject.

"Well," Nabiki said as she closed down the file and powered down her computer, "I guess maybe I am to blame after all. My mind's been really messed up by this business with the skating tournament day after tomorrow, and then there are those awful practice sessions with Kodachi. I wonder if she's deliberately trying to make me all black and blue teaching me those special maneuvers? What do you think, Sham-chan? Is she some kind of kinky sadist who gets a kick out of whipping me with her ribbon?"

"Mreow," Sham-chan replied, and if it were possible for a cat to frown with disapproval, she managed it very convincingly.

"You don't trust her, huh?" Nabiki smiled, "Neither do I…beyond a certain point…but she has been on her best behavior lately. I wonder if that's Kasumi's influence rubbing off? Those two do seem to get along pretty well, don't you think?"

Sham-chan made a curious sound like a grumble, but that might have been here agitation as Nabiki had stopped petting her and was removing the cat-fur from her blouse as she got ready to don her school dress…

Nabiki's Journal Continues…

Well, the big day arrived with all of the pomp and fanfare I should have expected. Let me tell you, once again I have had one of the strangest days of my life, in some ways one of the most humiliating, but the points that stand out the most were the ones that concerned Ranma…

"Hey!" Ranma called out as he entered the dressing room to find Sanzenin hastily rubbing some junk off of his face, "Mikado the Molester! How's it going?"

Mikado whirled around and glared, "That's Sanzenin, you idiot!" he calmed down enough that he was able to say, "You got lucky on the rink the other day, but there will be no holds barred on this match."

"Yeah, right," Ranma said as he went to his half of the dressing room to put on the special shirt Nabiki had helped him pick out for the match, a very nice Chinese shirt with an embroidered dragon emblem.

Sanzenin eyed the other youth with narrowed eyes then smiled, "By the way…I understand your partner has been getting special training to compete. I do hope she is good enough not to get hurt out there…that would be such a pity."

Ranma tensed slightly as he replied, "She'll do all right, and I won't let anything happen to Nabiki."

"You sound very fond of the lady," Sanzenin's smile deepened, and then he added, "I have yet to give her my special form of greeting…"

Ranma froze where he stood and said, "What?"

"You heard me," Mikado leaned back in his chair and stared off with a very contented expression, "Nine hundred and ninety-nine girls have I kissed…one more and I'll have made a perfect thousand…and I've decided to bestow that honor on your friend, Tendo Nabiki."

The sound of Ranma's sharp intake of breath was matched and exceeded by the even more harsh sound of his voice as he said, "You leave her alone, Sanzenin…"

"Oh my," Mikado smiled, rising up from his chair, "Do I detect a note of jealousy? How about we make this contest interesting by making it a challenge?"

"What?" Ranma said, looking almost as surprised as he was clearly angry.

"Hear me out!" Sanzenin thrust out his finger, "Somewhere during the match I will kiss your Nabiki, and there is nothing you can do to stop it. Consider that extra incentive to make a better performance than during out last duel on ice. Agreed?"

Ranma stood where he was for several seconds in speechless amazement. All the times he had tried to bring himself to kiss Nabiki and each time he had frozen up, lost in the power of her soft brown eyes, which made him feel both warm and helpless in a way that utterly confused him. He wanted more than anything in the world to reach out and kiss her, and he was pretty sure she wanted it too…but…could he really do it right? What if he kissed her and they both felt disappointed. How could he deal with the hurt in her eyes? And besides…he was not really a man after all…he was part girl, which made him feel less than a man in his own eyes. He knew it was ridiculous, but somehow he felt unworthy deep down of Nabiki's affections.

And this boy talked about kissing Nabiki as if there were nothing special to it?

Ranma balled his fists and growled, "Man…don't you ever think of anything besides kissing girls and stuff?"

Sanzenin seemed genuinely surprised by the question, "Well, what else is there to think about?"

Mikado would never realize just how close he came to receiving compound fractures to all his major bones, not to mention torn cartilage and muscle. He was not on ice, he was on solid ground, which was Ranma's natural element, so the advantage was not with him. Fortunately the very honesty of his reply saved him from a great deal of pain as Ranma looked at him less in anger than dismay and apprehension.

Man, Ranma thought to himself, this guy was scary…

Nabiki's Journal resumes:

I found that little twerp Azusa primping herself before a mirror as if to add more Kawaii-ness to her already cute girl pose. She saw me as soon as I entered the dressing room and said, "This is for skaters…the servant entrance is around in the back."

"Excuse me?" I asked, wondering if it was worth the lawsuit to push that cutesy face into the mirror.

Azusa smiled prettily at me and said, "You look like such an old frump, no where near as Kawaii as little Azusa-chan. All the boys want to see me out there, they won't even notice you, so you could put on a burlap bag and no one will pay any attention.

Yes, it was definitely worth the lawsuit. Don't ask me why I held back as I just glared at her and said, "Do you mind not hogging the mirror? Some of us also like to look at ourselves…on occasion."

"In your case, why bother?" Azusa smiled as she got up out of her chair and patted her curly hair down, "I'll just go out there and greet my adoring public."

A wicked thought crossed my mind as I said, "What, looking like that?"

"Huh?" the cherubic love doll asked me with confusion.

"Oh?" I pronounced the word with all the droll disinterest of which I am capable, "You didn't notice? Well, never mind, forget I said anything about it. What would an old frump like me know about standards of beauty, after all? Besides, what's one little blemish to mar perfect beauty like yours? I'm sure nobody will pay it the least little attention."

I took the chair next to her as Azusa sat back down and turned to look at the mirror while I got myself into my skater's outfit. I pretended to ignore her as she gave herself a thorough examination, looking for the alleged "flaw" I had spotted until finally despair took over and she wailed, "Where? Azusa doesn't see it!"

"Why bother to ask me?" I replied with a bored tone of indifference, "I'm sure it's nothing special."

"Tell me!" Azusa demanded, pleading with her eyes and batting her eyelashes in a really cute-girl manner.

"You sure you want to know?" I asked as I made a few brief touch-up marks to the bare minimal makeup that I was wearing.

"Tell me!!" Azusa wailed, and for a moment I vividly recalled how she pounded on Mikado whenever he preferred to ignore her. No sense provoking her to hit me with a chair or something, so I turned and smiled at her, having already finished.

"It's right there in the middle of your face, can't you see it?" I asked with my nose only inches from her own.

"Huh?" she said and turned back to lean closer to the mirror, "Where? I don't see it?"

I got up out of my chair and called out over my shoulder, "It's your nose. Right smack in the middle of your face and totally ruining the effect you're trying to create."

I managed to step outside of the room before she finally figured out what I had been implying, and that's when the volcanic eruption hit like Mount Fuji going Nova. I had to smile as I headed for the ice rink, my mood lightening substantially as I sought out Ranma, who was already waiting for me.

"Good, you're ready," Ranma started to turn away when he did a sudden double-take and gasped, "Nabiki?"

"What?" I asked, wondering if maybe I was the one who missed something about my appearance.

"Ah…" Ranma fumbled, then managed to get out, "You look…different…ah…I can't say why…?"

He was not looking at my skater's leotard so I was pretty sure it wasn't my body that was affecting him so much. His eyes were riveted to my face, so it took a moment before I realized why he was looking at me that way and smiled before explaining, "I just added a little makeup, Ranma-kun. There's no reason to make a big production about it."

"Ah…makeup?" he asked in even more confusion.

"I do know how to improve my appearance," I said somewhat defensively, "I usually don't make much use of the stuff…never saw much point, but with so many people watching me I decided a few embellishments were in order. It's not…overdone, is it?"

"Hah?" he blinked, then said, "Ah…no…no, not at all…" he swallowed then added, "You look…nice…"

I think my face flushed warm enough at that point that I wouldn't have noticed the cold of the arena if I buried my face in it as he had on a couple of occasions. Instead I smiled and said, "We'd better get ready. Looks like Shiratori and Sanzenin are about to go out there."

"Right," Ranma said, turning away from me with clear reluctance as I felt my heart soar in my chest and could have composed poetry on the spot like Tatewaki Kuno had I been so inclined to sound foolish. Instead we both concentrated on our two opponents as they skated out from a separate entrance into the arena, hamming it up to their adoring public, of which I noticed there was no shortage in the bleachers. I felt Ranma tense as he heard Mikado's name being called out, mostly by female Kolhotz students and when I asked him why he just said something about guys like Sanzenin making him sick. I wondered from that if the two of them had exchanged pro-forma insults in their dressing room the way I had with Azusa.

Of course I wasn't too thrilled to hear the boys calling out their love for Azusa, as if the Kawaii little klepto were some harmless fan idol and not the certifiable nutcase who wanted by Sham-chan. I was really beginning to regret not putting her face in that mirror when I heard Ranma say, "C'mon, Nabiki…let's go out there and show these people some skating."

I found myself lifted up to his shoulder as Ranma began to glide out onto the ice with perfect poise and balance, as if we really had rehearsed such a maneuver for days rather than it being something he came up with on the spot to copy Mikado. It started out well enough and I'm sure we would have completed a full half circle but…somebody forgot to clue Ranma in about potential hazards of skating, such as having your blades cut across someone else's ruts, in this case the ones left by Mikado a few seconds before this. The slight unevenness of pressure was enough to throw out Ranma finely honed sense of balance, and with me balanced on one shoulder the results were an immediate tumble.

I think I might have been seriously hurt if Ranma had not twisted his body to compensate for the fall and managed to land with me on top of him, still supported in a semi-upright position. Of course that still left him with his face buried in the ice with me sitting on top of him in an undignified state, so you can imagine the picture we presented as we slid to the center of the ice rink. Naturally enough Azusa was quick to laugh her fool head off at the sort of picture we presented.

I used what dignity I had left to step off of Ranma, then asked if he were all right, which of course Ranma assured me was the case as he straightened out, his face only slightly abraded and crimson from where it had made contact with the ice. His glare at Mikado's smirk was enough to fire him up to full adrenaline levels, so we skated off to our corner and squared off against Mikado and Azusa.

Our first exchanges pretty much tell the story of what followed. We were coming at our opponents when Ranma took me by the hand and told me to trust him, then proceeded to spin me forward as my feet left the ice altogether and I was suddenly airborne. He spun me around a few times then gave me a heave that sent me flying higher up above the ground than I was used to maintaining without support, and all too soon gravity asserted itself again as I felt myself heading for a very rude fall, only to find Ranma was there to catch me.

As we spun around to face our foes I saw that Mikado was feeling along one side of his ribs as though he had a stitch or something. Azusa was none-too-helpfully poking him in that spot until he yelled at her to stop. I saw the smirk on Ranma's face and realized that he had given Mikado a passing shot that nearly doubled him over.

Mikado straightened up and gave Ranma what almost passed for a look of respect and said, "It's rare that I'm brought low, but this match is only just begun and I will claim my prize as I intended."

"Not if I have anything to say about it," I heard Ranma reply with a heat in his tone that was so unlike him that I turned to look at his profile, seeing his blue eyes flash with genuine anger, "You stay away from Nabiki or what I just gave you will feel like a love tap!"

"Meaning what?" Mikado sniffed with all the condescension of someone who sincerely believed that he was the Kami's gift to all women.

"Meaning that I'll put your lady-killing butt on ice if you so much as touch her, you got that?" Ranma declared hotly, "Nabiki is MY fiancée, and if you try anything with her…I'll kill you!"

I think I need to pause at this point to say that I have never in my life heard anyone say anything like that about me, and the fact that Ranma had just said it before a couple thousand students and onlookers from both of our high schools just means that he said it without any of his usual shyness or hesitation. I've had a lot of boys declare that I'm some kind of heartless money machine, that I'm a real Icewoman who doesn't show a lot of feelings around other people, and there have even been a few of the more rash students who have threatened to retaliate against me, as if any of them ever had the guts to try it even before my engagement to Ranma…but I had never had any boy declare that much of an interest in me that he would want to kill somebody else on my behalf, even metaphorically. Usually it was Akane who the boys would line up for, declaring their willingness to kill or die on her behalf, but not me.

I think I would have broken down into tears at that point, but Mikado was saying, "So…you want to raise the stakes a little, is that it? Fine, I like a challenge as much as the next player.

I blinked at that, looked at him, then at Ranma and I suddenly understood what kind of "stakes" he was talking about. Given Mikado's reputation it wasn't hard to figure out that he had boasted about intending to kiss me before Ranma, which was why my iinazuke was displaying such possessive anger. I was being fought over by two handsome guys like the prize in some back-alley cat-fight, only in Ranma's case he was defending his territory...

Me.

Yeah, I knew what that meant deep down about his feelings in towards me, but the fight had gotten terribly personal all of a sudden and that explained the escalation of testosterone in the air. It looked to me like someone was going to get seriously hurt here, that these two boys would not abide to be good sportsmen about the matter, and for once Ranma was fighting all out against an opponent he really disliked, unlike his usual sparring matches with Ryoga.

Then I noticed that Azusa was looking at Mikado with a very odd expression, somewhere between puzzled and exasperated. She must have seen the boy flirt countless times, but had he ever flirted with her? Considering Azusa's ego I doubt very much that she likes being ignored, so maybe she had her own personal stakes in this match, something I realized that I might be able to exploit if I kept my eyes open.

Still Mikado's arrogance was even greater than I had imagined because as I was still recovering from the shock of Ranma's declaration I heard Sanzenin's scornful laugh before he remarked, "So…you declare this woman to be yours exclusively. I will admit that the two of you do make an interesting couple, but that is such a pity as you are destined to suffer the fate that has befallen all the couples who have previously come before you."

"What are you going on about now?" Ranma asked in the light of that ominous declaration.

"Only that you are doomed to experience the agony of separation," Mikado said as he stretched a hand out and Azusa vaulted up from this thigh onto his shoulders, "For we are the Golden Pair, the Couple Cleavers of the Ice!"

"Couple cleavers?" I repeated, wondering if Mikado actually paid someone to come up with his corny dialog, or if it was purely ad-libbed.

"Nabiki," Ranma called tensely at my side, "When I give the word go low and I'll strike from above, you got that?"

I nodded, "Your call, Ranma-kun. What have you got in mind?"

Ranma and I started forward as he murmured under his breath, "Mikado's gonna try something. I want you down under his guard, if he makes a play for you it'll leave him wide open."

I smiled at that, realizing that I was the bait in a mousetrap, which is really kind of sweet since cheese has such a wholesome flavor and it implied that I was a prize worth fighting over. Besides, it sounded like a good enough plan, and Ranma's an excellent strategist when it comes to basic brawling. So it was that I fell low and used my talents on ice skates to slide low while Ranma vaulted high into the air and came at Mikado with skates extended outward. Unfortunately Azusa was also airborne and intercepted him before he could connect. They landed on the ice together, and Azusa straddled Ranma, looking as pleased as the cat that bagged the mouse.

I, on the other hand, was less than thrilled as I righted myself and came about to voice my outrage. I wondered if a declaration of my own to put Azusa into a cute little coffin would have sounded as convincing. Coming from me, probably not. Then I saw Azusa step back as Ranma regained his footing, then slip down under his feet grabbing him by the ankles as she went flat with legs extended outward. I rushed forward intending to pry her out from under him when Ranma fell forward, and out of sheer reflex I grabbed his hands to catch and help try to restore his balance.

That was when Azusa and Sanzenin sprang their trap together as Mikado reached down and caught her by the ankles, then heaved us upward in an incredible display of raw physical strength. I found myself being lifted up along with Ranma and Azusa until we were suspended above the floor, then Mikado began to spin us like a top, causing me to be flung outward with my legs extended from the centrifugal force, stretching out the rest of my body.

The Cyclone of Death, I think they call it, although someone later told me it was also known as the Goodbye Whirl in English. It was their special maneuver, also known as the Couple Cleaver as Mikado himself boasted that numerous couples had been parted by means of this little technique that he and Azusa had come up with. All I know is that we were soon spinning at incredible speed as I felt my blood dribble down into my feet with nothing save Ranma keeping me from flying rudely into space and a very messy landing.

I heard Mikado urging Ranma to let go, but of course Ranma is too stubborn to admit to any kind of weakness not related to cats. Though it was hard to see his face with the tug of gravity moving me in the wrong direction, I could see the anger and determination there, that he would not let go in spite of the strain that he was obviously under from holding onto me. I'm perfectly sure his arms could have been yanked out of their sockets and he would still have refused to release me, even when I told him to do so.

Hey, I'm basically a selfish person, and I wouldn't want to go flying into a wall like a bug going splat against a radiator on a mach truck, but the pain in Ranma's face was like a stab to my heart, so I got all uncharacteristically noble of a sudden and told him to let me go, that it was all right, that somehow I'd manage to survive it. That was the first time I saw Ranma display genuine anger in my direction, as if I was showing a lack of faith in him, and he angrily informed me he would not and could not let me go. He knew perfectly well what would happen to me, and he called me a baka-ME-for even suggesting such a thing! Any other time I might have gotten angry myself, but at the time he said it I almost felt like crying.

And then the whole argument was rendered moot as Azusa got dizzy and let Ranma go, so the both of us were sent flying at great speed to certain doom, only Ranma reacted instinctively to twist his body around so that he was the one who struck the wall, while I felt my body impact against him and almost had my breath knocked out. We slumped to the ice and I was stunned, barely conscious.

I immediately took inventory to make certain all my parts were attached and working. I was amazed to still be alive, not to mention only a little shook up and not black and blue all over. Hitting that wall was like falling on my back from a three story building, yet somehow Ranma had managed to take the brunt of it all on himself, as I discovered when I had time enough to remember him, and scrambled up into a sitting position.

I kid you not, my heart almost stopped when I saw him lying there looking like a broken child's toy, and my blood felt like the ice beneath my hands and legs as I forced myself to examine him, dreading that I might not find a pulse, or-worse still-he had been seriously injured and would never walk again. I could not stand the thought that he had been hurt on my behalf, and looking up to see the impression we had made against the wall I was amazed that I was not in even worse condition.

"Baka," I found myself murmuring in dismay, "Baka, you didn't have to do that, Ranma…"

"Too bad," I heard Mikado say, "He put up a small challenge, but the end was inevitable, and with that kind of impact he's probably broken every bone in his body."

That was a defining moment for me, a moment when I really and truly learned what it meant to feel anger swell up in me into all-out hatred. Ranma had spared me by taking the punishment onto himself, but it was Mikado who had done this to him. I got back on my feet literally seething in outrage, ready to smash that fool's too-handsome face or find some way of making him feel some of the pain that I was feeling at that moment.

"Mikado!" I growled, "You want a challenge? Then come get me! I dare you."

I had unconsciously assumed a fighting posture that I remembered from my younger days when I used to train in the Anything Goes system. My recent renewal of interest in my family's art has awoken lots of deep-buried memories in me of when I used to take this stuff seriously, and right now I was ready to use everything I knew if it meant just one chance of decking Mikado. I saw a flash of recognition in his eyes, but to his partner I must have seemed preposterous because Azusa took one look at me and started laughing.

"Oh, she's so cute!" the little curly haired twit said as she pointed at me while covering her mouth with a dainty little hand, "Azusa thinks you're so funny. You think you can take us both on all by yourself? Your partner's had it and soon you won't be in any better condition."

"Now, now," Mikado laid a hand on Azusa's shoulder and smiled that smug-self assured smile of his that I now thoroughly detested, "The lady is in mourning, it would be rude to insult her while she is grieving for her loss. The boy did hold out to the very end, after all, and that warrants him some small token of respect…"

"That's where you're wrong," I heard the dead speak at my side, and I gasped, turning away from my anger as I saw Ranma open his eyes and glare at the ceiling, "I'm not the one who's gonna need sympathy in another moment, you lecher!"

"Ranma!" I gasped, "Are you all right?"

"Sure," he said with that confident smile of his that was the opposite of everything Mikado's smile now represented to me, "Sorry if you were worried or something…I was just getting my wind back, now I'm gonna show you all a thing or two about skating."

To my amazement Ranma arched his back and flipped over to land perfectly on his feet, even catching himself on his skates without losing his balance, and the effect might have been totally convincing if he had not stiffened the next instant as his face took on a pasty white complexion as though his body had protested against this sudden movement.

"Well," Mikado seemed hardly affected by Ranma's attempted resurrection, "It seems there is still some life in you yet, Saotome. But you hardly need to go to the bother of putting on that act for your girlfriend. I'm willing to postpone this until another day…unless you care to concede, that is…?"

I saw Ranma ball his fists as his jaw set with concentration, then his blue eyes flashed dangerously as he replied, "Not a chance, Sanzenin. We finish this now, man to man, and only one of us leaves this skating rink standing."

"Excuse me?" I said and poked Ranma lightly on the side, which made him double up with pain as I narrowed my eyes and said, "Until only who is left standing? Get a grip, Saotome, even I can see that you're in no condition to continue this match."

"What did you do that for?" Ranma hissed my way, but whatever angry retort he meant to add died as he caught the look in my eyes, which were all but openly pleading for his understanding.

"Please," I said, "You've already gotten hurt on my behalf once already. I…couldn't stand it if you really got injured…"

"Better listen to your friend," Azusa taunted, "You're just an amateur in this sport. Even Azusa could take you with her little finger."

"Assuming you can still bend it," I snapped as I whirled at her with my most contemptful expression, "But then I suppose little girls like you shouldn't be allowed to play with us big girls. You might get hurt, and that would ruin your already faded complexion."

"Huh?" I saw the twit register my insult very slowly, and you know something? She really does get cute in an angry sort of way as she glared at me and said, "You…you take that back! Azusa doesn't have a faded complexion!"

"Oh no?" I said, "I guess you wouldn't notice with all the shadow created by those wrinkles…"

"Wrinkles?" now she really was steaming mad, "Azusa doesn't have wrinkles! I have dimples!"

"Oh my," I remarked, "Have you been to a dermatologist to get that cleared up? It does clear up when you get a bit older…though not much older, judging by those liver spots and bags under your eyes…"

"You…mean old lady!" she declared in strident tones that she normally reserved for beating up on her partner. Before Mikado could restrain her she came skating right at me, ignoring Ranma completely as she launched an aerial attack that might have caught me flat footed if I had not somewhat expected it in the few seconds before she was airborne.

It's funny…you know how time can seem to slow down to a crawl when you get into a crisis? Well, I remember hearing Ranma call out my name as Azusa came hurtling towards me like a guided missile, only at the last second I twist my body to the side and pivot my hips, swinging around my center of balance as I shifted my skates to allow for my change in posture. The upshot of all this is that Azusa went right by me, missing in her attack completely. Considering how close we were to the wall this turned out to be a very bad idea on her part as she had no time to recover before plowing into it in a way that was almost as cute as her dimples…or should I say acne?

I recovered and assumed an innocent posture as I said, "Oh dear…did that hurt? I guess little girls really should get permission notes from their parents before they go skating."

"You…!" Azusa pried herself away from the wall and glared at me, showing a remarkable recovery rate as she assumed a new attack posture, then came at me with skates flying while Ranma gripped his side and fought for balance.

All right, I guess I should give Azusa some credit here. She is good, and not just as a skater because her martial arts ability made her a formidable opponent, and by rights she should have nailed me on that second attack, or the third and forth kicks and punches she threw at me. Somehow I managed to side step all of her attacks and the follow-throughs as though I could somehow perceive before they were executed. I moved instinctively to avoid every one of her attacks, and only belatedly did I realize why. This was, after all, what Kodachi had been training me in on for four straight days, so naturally I avoided Azusa the way I avoided her ribbon, flowing with each attack to move out of the way before it was fully committed.

I think Ranma managed to recover some of his energy because I caught the sight of him and Mikado duking it out in their corner of the arena. That glance out of the side of my eyes nearly cost me as Azusa came close to nailing me. I was just managing to stay out of her reach but I wasn't about to even attempt a counter-attack. I was slowly wearing her down but there was no way I trusted myself to take an offensive shot in her direction.

Azusa was really getting steamed about the same point that she was started to get exhausted, but as she prepared to launch another attack my way something fell from the ceiling and landed on the ice between us. I stopped in my tracks as Azusa took a step back, surprised out of her berserker fury to find a purple-haired Amazon standing athwart our path with no adequate warning.

"Nihao," she said with a curious smile as she looked me over, then turned a much darker look towards Azusa.

"Who are you?" Azusa demanded, only to see Shampoo flash angry red eyes her way that as much as told me that she knew about Sham-chan being the stakes in this competition. To say the least she did not look happy with Azusa.

"You try take cat what do not belong to you," Shampoo said darkly, "Stupid girl with pretty ribbons no want Amazon girl pet. You leave now or stupid girl get what coming to you."

"Huh?" Azusa asked, looking at Shampoo in a very odd way, then eased closer as if to get a better look at her as though seeking recognition.

"Stupid girl deaf?" Shampoo growled as she balled up a fist and looked ready to use it, "You no take Shampoo cat for self or you learn Shampoo no like stupid girls who no respect Amazon way."

I flinched somewhat at the way she had phrased those words, but Azusa just kept looking at her with those big brown eyes of hers as if her rather messy and painful death were not facing her from mere centimeters distance. Then all at once Azusa straightened, smiled and pointed before crying out, "Charlotte!"

I heard Shampoo give out a gasp of surprise at that as one hand went to her throat for some reason, glancing at me in a very odd way before she said, "What stupid girl mean? Why you call Shampoo funny name?"

"Because you're Charlotte!" Azusa said happily, flashing a key in her hand as she said, "Charlotte lock that with special key that I had made for-Hey!"

I had not even seen Shampoo's hand move as she snatched the key out of the little Klepto's hand then said, "Give Shampoo that! You lock collar on Shampoo cat's neck, you…very un-nice girl! Now Shampoo pay back for stupid trick you play earlier!"

"Give that back!" Azusa cried as she made a lunge for Shampoo, only to encounter a fist that sent her sliding backwards until she ran into Mikado, who had been approaching from the other direction.

"Whoa!" Mikado said as he caught Azusa, finding her barely conscious on her feet, to which he smiled and said, "My compliments to you, lady. I've wanted to see somebody do that to the little idiot for years, and may I say what a fine vision of loveliness you are? I don't believe I've seen you around here before…"

Ranma's reaction upon seeing Shampoo were somewhat more non-plussed, "Sh-Shampoo? What are you doing back from China?"

"Ranma," Shampoo's smile softened, "You miss Shampoo? She miss you, Airen."

"Airen?" I gasped, then I looked down and realized something. Shampoo wasn't wearing skates but rather some form of sandals that had spikes on the bottom, which was helping her maintain her traction. I doubt very much that skating is a common practice in her part of China, so I doubt she can skate any better than Ranma. It also meant that she was a lot smarter than I'd realized to think of something like this in advance. It also explained why she did not just immediately glomp onto Ranma the minute she caught sight of him. No doubt maintaining her balance on the ice was a large element in discouraging her lunging for him.

"How now, miss?" Mikado asked as he casually skated up to Shampoo, "Do you mean to take part in our challenge match?"

"No," Shampoo replied, "Shampoo come to end match before Nabiki and Ranma too bad hurt. You no want be hurt bad, you stay out of way of Shampoo."

"I would love to accommodate you, lovely one," Mikado said with no hint that he realized how deadly serious Shampoo was being, "But I have yet to obtain my promised kiss from the lips of the lovely miss Tendo."

"Then you have problem," Shampoo said darkly, "Amazon no like arrogant boy who try steal what not his. You leave now, you no get hurt."

"What are you going to do?" Azusa asked rather smugly, clearly recovered from the blow she had taken, "You're not even wearing skates, how do you expect to defeat the Golden Pair by your lonesome?"

Shampoo did not turn around as she said, "Ranma…get Nabiki and go. You no want be here when Shampoo answer question."

"Just a moment," Mikado said as she skated around the Amazon and oriented on me, sweeping me up into his arms before I even sensed his attack, "I can't let you leave without showing my respect for a worthy opponent…"

"Nabiki!" Ranma snarled, skating towards us, only to have Azusa blindside him when he forgot to turn his attention towards her.

"And now," Mikado said as he leaned over to bring his lips within reach of my face, "My thousandth kiss from your sweet lips."

"Guess again," I said, for Mikado had made a serious error in thinking the position he held me gave me no purchase for refusing his advances. Unfortunately for him this was exactly the sort of thing I had been trained against by daddy from an early age, so rather than resist his attempt to bend me back for a kiss, I bent with his motion and drew him with me off balance.

I could see by the surprised expression in his eyes that Mikado had not anticipated my maneuver, and before he had time to cope I brought my knee up in a very vital place, grabbed him by the shoulders and hit the ice with my back as my momentum picked him up and threw him over. Mikado would probably have righted himself with the phenomenal agility he had been displaying all night, but no matter how tough a guy is, it's hard for them to maintain their focus when they're looking cross-eyed and doubled over in pain, so he landed inelegantly on the ice and went skidding for a bit while I straightened out and looked smugly at Ranma.

I think the whole audience…or at least the male half…winced in sympathy of Mikado's plight. Even Ranma was looking pityingly at the guy he had fully intended to pound flat. I just gave him a knowing wink and said, "Well, hey…he left himself wide open."

Azusa skated up alongside Mikado and said, "Is Mikey hurt? Do you hurt down there?" she bent over his doubled form and poked him in the side, to which Mikado grunted something very unpleasant about the Shiratori and their probable ancestry, which earned him a very dark look from Azusa, so she poked him again, aiming her hand just above the place his own hands had covered.

This gave me an idea as I turned to Ranma and said, "What do you think, Ranma-kun…do they make a lovely couple or what?"

"A lovely couple of what's more like it," Ranma snorted, "Hey, Sanzenin, you ready to concede the match yet?"

"N-No," Mikado replied as he fought back his tears and tried to turn himself face-down into the ice so as to provide his crotch with some solace before pushing himself up into a sitting position, "I will not concede! This match has only just started."

"Wrong!" Shampoo declared, drawing our attention back towards her as she glanced down at the ice and then stabbed her finger down at the hard surface. She jumped back almost immediately as the point where she touched began to crack and them explode, sending shock waves throughout the ice in all directions. Within the space of a few seconds the entire rink shattered as Shampoo leaped to safety. I was just reacting to this myself when I felt Ranma gather me up into his arms and then call out, "Hold on!" and the next second the two of us were airborne.

Sanzenin and Azusa were left to experience a truly horrifying discovery as the ice rink became a scene out of some movie where horrid glaciers replaced smooth, featureless surfaces, and then they splashed around on broken chunks of ice as the pumps underground churned up and created geysers that froze immediately into pillars of ice. Turns out the arena was actually a reconverted swimming pool and as I looked down from a truly impressive height I saw the chaos going on beneath us before Ranma set me down on a metal rafter, seeing Mikado and Azusa struggle to keep from taking a very cold bath together.

We turned to see Shampoo standing a little ways away from us. Ranma hesitantly called her name with a note of inquiry, to which she just smiled and said she would see us both later. She vanished after that and was not to be found anywhere in the vicinity of the Kolhotz gymnasium, but I suspect her little stunt was meant to send a message to the both of us that she was watching our every movement and has her own peculiar agenda that she will probably get around to explaining for us in her own good time, mostly likely when we least expect it.

The story doesn't end here, though, for right after we climbed down from the rafters Ryonami called out to me as she and Sayuki came running up with gleeful expressions and pressed a wad of money into my hands, which prompted me to ask where it came from?

"Haven't you heard, Sempai?" my delighted assistants informed me, "They took Mikado off on a stretcher, he and Azusa are complaining about possible frostbite and pneumonia. You two have officially been acknowledged the victors of the match, so here are your winnings, plus our usual ten percent deducted, of course."

I was stunned as I said, "You bet on me to win?"

"Not just win, Boss," Sayuki informed me, "You two beat the point spread, which means our winnings were doubled! Nobody put much faith in you and Ranma-kun to last five minutes out there, so you can imagine that there are a lot of unhappy marks, most of them Kolhotz students," she added with a smirk that had school pride written all over it, which for her probably made the winnings all the more enjoyable as the students from Kolhotz had naturally bet on their hometown heroes.

"I'm glad things turned out this way," I said after I somehow found the capacity for rational speech return to me, "But those were very long odds, you know, and I can't really approve of you taking a risk like that. You know we were at a huge disadvantage."

"Maybe so, Sempai," Ryonami chuckled, "But we've learned never to bet against either you or Ranma-kun. You both have a knack for beating the odds, so I'll bet my money on a winner every time. Besides, I would have paid flat-out to see you pull that on Mikado!"

I turned to see Ranma looking at us with a nonplussed expression, to which I smiled and peeled off about half of the yen my two aids had collected and handed them to him, "This is your share, so take it, Ranma. You can use it to take me out to buy dinner."

"Huh?" Ranma looked down at the wad of bills he was holding, then slowly looked up at me and-to my delight-started smiling, "Well…I guess we're entitled to celebrate, not that there was any chance I was gonna lose to that Sanzenin…"

My enjoyment of the moment was tempered as I saw someone else approaching us, so I hastily amended, "On second though, Ranma-kun, I'm gonna have to bow out on this date. I kind of promised something to Kodachi for helping me to train…"

"Hah?" Ranma looked at me blankly when all of a sudden Kodachi all but materialized on his arm, leaning against his shoulder with a delighted grin and purred very sensually, "Ranma-sama…my hero!"

"Wh-what?" Ranma slowly turned to look at her with an expression of dawning horror.

"You were magnificent, my darling!" Kodachi cooed, "Such a manly performance, you showed up that base pretender, Sanzenin, and struck a blow for every boy or girl he has ever offended. And you, Tendo-san…your performance was adequate. I trust you now appreciate my skills as a teacher?"

"Oh yeah," I replied, "It sure came in handy. And for a while there I thought you were just having fun turning me black and blue with that ribbon."

"It was a basic strategy," Kodachi replied, "Since teaching you any advanced moves to counter Sanzenin and his partner's accomplished form would have taken more time than we were allowed, I reasoned that teaching you one simple maneuver that you could perform in your sleep would be enough to keep you from betting hurt, and was I wrong about that?"

"No," I conceded, "You definitely were on the mark with that line. Now I'll honor our agreement and let you have Ranma-chan for the evening with my blessings. Ranma-kun, do show Kodachi a good time…but not TOO good, if you take my meaning."

"Nani?" Ranma gasped as Kodachi all but dragged him away to the dressing room…and I presume she let him get dressed before dragging him off to enjoy dinner.

"Sempai?" I heard Ryonami asked, "I'd never think of questioning your judgement, but was that wise letting Kuno Kodachi spirit your iinazuke off like that?"

"I'm not worried," I replied, "Kodachi promised me she wouldn't use any of her potions on Ranma, and I do sort-of owe her for helping me save my own neck out there. It's not like I expect Ranma to suddenly take up a interest in her…or at least he'd better not if he knows what's good for him," I added with a dire note to reassure my friends that I wasn't going completely senile in the head.

They gave me dubious looks but I meant what I told them. Kodachi isn't my real competition for Ranma's affections, Shampoo is, and she is one threat both me and Kodachi have in common. I figured letting her have Ranma for the evening was more or less of a harmless indulgence.

In point of fact Ranma tried to duck out on his date, but I cornered him and explained for his benefit how I thought Kodachi would need watching and possibly even protection now that Shampoo is back in town, so would he kindly consider looking out for her for this one night, and while at it would he please be nice to her for a change, if only for the sake of being polite? He finally relented after some heavy persuasion on my part, and he did go off with Kodachi on their promised date at long last while I went home to add my winnings to the rest of my personal assets.

Strange to say, though, the day was not completely done. On the way home I had a sudden sense of immanent danger and reacted just the same way I had when ducking the attacks of Azusa. I found myself backing away from a wooden staff that was aimed at me by a figure who looked no taller than my waist level. I fended off a number of thrusts when my attacker stood back and examined me wit a very odd look. I looked down at her in return and saw a gnome-like old woman with long silver hair and ancient eyes that were calculating and all-knowing.

"Well now," she said with an enigmatic smile as she looked me over, "You do possess some skill and talent, Tendo Nabiki."

"Who are you?" I demanded, assuming a fighting crouch that I'd only recently learned from studying with Ranma.

In response the old woman's staff arced in a circle and caught my outstretched leg, tumbling me flat on my back as I instinctively ducked my head and absorbed the impact on my shoulders. The next second the old woman was standing on top of me looking down and I marveled how light her body felt on my chest.

"My name is Kho-Lon," she replied, "Though you may call me Cologne, the Elder."

"Elder?" I gasped, the hesitated before asking, "You're from…"

"Joketsuzoku," she replied, "I am the Matriarch of the Nyanchiczu, whom you call the Amazons of China, and I have been looking forward to meeting you. You are everything my great granddaughter said you were, and I caught your little performance on the ice, which duly confirms it."

"You were the one who sent Shampoo in to help us?" I asked.

"No," the old woman replied, "Shampoo elected to do that of her own volition, though I salute her initiative. We will talk more when you are ready, but for now it will suffice that you are aware that my great granddaughter and I are watching you and that boy you call your iinazuke."

"Ranma?" I asked when the old woman hopped off my chest and began to pogo on that gnarled stick of hers as she hopped over a fence, calling back to me the promise that we would talk again real soon, which you can imagine did not exactly make my day, but it at least seems certain that she does not mean to kill me. She had the chance, after all, and instead chose to let me go. I remembered Shampoo's earlier words concerning the Amazon Elders and could not help swallowing. Old woman or not, that lady is dangerous and I can't escape the feeling that if she had meant to do something nasty to me there is absolutely nothing I would have been able to do about it…

"Meow!" Sham-chan called out, distracting Nabiki from her typing.

"Think that was a little too much?" Nabiki asked her cat as she saved her file and shut down her computer, "Maybe so, but setting things down in words like this has certainly made me feel better about everything. It's been one heck of a day, and now that Ranma's back from his date I guess I can rest easy as it's finally over."

She scooped up the cat into her arms and went to sit down on her bed, flopping back as she gave Sham-chan her accustomed rubdown.

"I mean, who would have thought of something like this happening to me of all people?" Nabiki mused aloud, "And Ranma's the most surprising thing about it all…threatening Mikado like that over me. Honestly, guys just can't seem to help trying to impress us with their antics…but it sure was nice of him to feel that way, though. I mean, the way he said it…it was like he wanted to protect me…"

"Meow," Sham-chan replied very softly as Nabiki's hands found her favorite scratching places.

"Guys like him are so macho," Nabiki continued, "Always trying to impress us with how tough they are, but deep down they're like little boys with fragile egos, so I guess that means Ranma thinks of me like I'm part of his territory. I should be grateful he doesn't put his scent on me or something, though I guess that's more your speed than mine, eh Kiddo?"

Sham-chan just purred throatily and said something soft and very heartfelt.

"But it sure was sweet of him," Nabiki felt herself flush crimson, but it was such a warm and cozy feeling that for once she did not mind acting like a schoolgirl, "And how did I repay him, of all things? By sticking him with Kodachi for the rest of the day. Now that is cruel, even by my standards."

"Mreow?" Sham-chan replied, sounding more than slightly distracted.

Nabiki was silent for a moment, then her expression became a frown, "One thing bothers me, though…I keep going over it in my mind, the way Azusa kept calling Shampoo 'Charlotte,' which is her special pet name for you. What do you think about it, kitty? You like the name Charlotte?"

The cat made a very unpleasant sound, just short of a hiss, and Nabiki idly noted that she was no longer wearing that annoying collar.

"I guess Shampoo used that key to take it off, huh?" Nabiki remarked, "Good, because if anybody's going to put a collar around you it's going to be me. Still…it is funny when you think about it…Azusa calling Shampoo by that name. I have to admit that you do look a little like Shampoo, even more than that master-pet resemblance thing I'm always hearing about, not that I can picture you following anybody around on a leash. You're much too independent."

Nabiki paused, hearing a complaint from down the hallway in which a female Ranma was saying nasty things about "that pig" that he had almost tripped over heading for the bathroom. Another moment later came a knocking on her door, and when Nabiki asked who it was it opened slightly to admit Akane to look in as she asked, "Oneechan, have you seen P-chan anywhere about? He hasn't turned up the last couple of days and I'm starting to worry."

"I think Ranma stumbled on him just about a minute ago, Sis," Nabiki called out, "And you shouldn't worry about P-chan. He can take care of himself…he just has a problem with directions."

"What are you talking about?" Akane sounded irritable, like always, "Who do you think he is, Ryoga-kun?"

Nabiki felt a terrible urge to say something but instead held her peace until Akane had closed the door behind her, then she smiled to herself and said, "baka. She's got it bad for the pig, and he's already sleeping in her bed. She just doesn't know it. I really ought to say something about it, no matter what I promised Ranma. It isn't right, after all, even if he is a Jusenkyo victim…."

Nabiki stiffened, looking straight up at her ceiling. Jusenkyo? Something clicked in her mind, and she remembered seeing the look in Shampoo's eyes when Azusa had accused her of being "Charlotte." That reflexive glance Nabiki's way as she absently covered her throat with a hand and looked almost guilty about something. The pieces of a very nasty puzzled were slowly starting to fit together.

She looked down at the cat lying on her chest, seeing it open its reddish-brown eyes as it looked at her, sensing a change in her mood with uncanny perceptiveness far beyond that of any animal Nabiki had ever heard of.

Reddish brown eyes? A cat-face that looked something like Shampoo? The curious way Shampoo had been acting around her of late?

"Oboy," Nabiki said as she looked into the eyes of the cat, suddenly sweating…

Continued

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