Ah My Goddess Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ A Tale of Two Wallets ❯ Bonding ( Chapter 39 )

A Tale of Two Wallets

(An Altered Destiny)

Written by Jim Robert Bader

Proofread by Shiva Barnwell

Ryoga shifted uncomfortably and looked across at Akane, feeling uneasy about what they were doing but not wanting to risk deepening the rift between them by telling her so directly. In point of fact he barely recognized her (well, actually he was pretty sure he would recognize her in the middle of a fogbank, but the dark sun glasses and coat didn't exactly seem like her usual choice in fashions) and it disturbed him that he was being dragged around by her to help out on such a dubious assignment.

Not that he wouldn't help her, of course. It was just the idea of what they were doing that felt so wrong, and not just because of what it implied (he fervently insisted to himself that he was NOT jealous) about the possibility of her feelings going out towards someone other than him.

"Akane…" he tried to say only to see her hand move to warn him not to say anything at all. The silence hung in the air between them for several moments after that, but at length she finally replied, "I know what you're going to say Ryoga, so don't waste your time. I'm doing this no matter what you or anyone else says, so don't try to stop me."

Like he could if he wanted to, Ryoga thought to himself, but aloud what he said was, "But why are we doing this? You surely don't think that Kuonji is going to try something on this date?"

"Of course not," Akane replied, "Ukyo's a perfect gentleman and would never try anything like that with a woman. Shampoo's the one I don't trust…that Amazon is capable of anything, and I won't have her taking advantage of his trusting nature."

"Shampoo?" Ryoga responded in surprise, but after a moment of hesitation he added, "Well…I suppose with her it's possible, but…"

"Shhh!" Akane hissed as she peered around the corner, "They're coming out now…Kami-sama! What's that hussy wearing? She looks like she's some kind of painted Chinese harlot!"

Ryoga looked askance at his companion, never imagining in his wildest dreams that Akane could even use such language to describe another girl, even one she might view as a potential rival. He was more concerned about the way that Kuonji had fancied himself up to impress the ladies, as if the smooth talking devil needed any help in that department! He suddenly had a glimmering of what Akane might feel towards someone who might be encroaching on territory that she was considering for herself, only the thought of what that implied about the state of their relationship made him feel both sad and angry in alternate waves of remorse and anger.

"Come on!" Akane urged once Shampoo and Ukyo were far enough down the block not to notice a pair of tag-alongs keeping pace behind them, only at this point Ryoga needed no further prompting, feeling an urge to catch up with Kuonji for his own dark reasons…and besides, without Akane he'd just get lost again and probably wind up somewhere on the outskirts of Yokohama…

Of course neither one took notice of the two figures who were already on the roof following the Amazon and her date from a higher vantage.

"I don't know about this, Ranma-kun," Nabiki murmured, "You think we really should be following them? It's not exactly like Kuonji could take advantage of Shampoo if…he wanted to," she added the latter part lamely.

"Yeah," Ranma said gruffly, "You got that right. No way would Shampoo let another guy touch her. That's what the old woman said, and for once I believe her."

"Then why are we doing this?" Nabiki asked him.

"You don't have to come along," Ranma replied, "But I wanna find out what the old ghoul wants setting this thing up like she did. I can't believe she was just trying to make us jealous."

"And why not?" Nabiki asked, adding to herself that the strategy sure seemed effective.

"Just a hunch I got," Ranma turned to her, "You coming or not?"

Nabiki heaved a sigh as she walked up to join him, taking his hand and murmuring, "Somehow I just know we're going to regret this."

"Naw," he said as he took her hand and smiled confidently, "Nothing'll go wrong…you're with me. You'll see that everything will work out just right."

Nabiki considered chiding her iinazuke for his boastful nature, but there was something altogether charming about his smile, so much so that she almost forgot to brace herself as he gathered her up into his arms, and then the next thing she knew gravity and the world below her took a sudden raincheck as Ranma launched himself out into the night, cradling a half-terrified Nabiki, who clung to him in such a way that he was almost distracted from bracing himself for his landing on the next rooftop.

After all, having her feminine body in his arms was pleasurable enough without the further enhancement of having her pull his face that much closer to her chest. He decided then and there that he rather liked the sensation of carrying her this way and hoped she wouldn't mind if he did not set her down again until they caught up with the dating couple, at which thought he firmed his resolve and increased his pace to further close the distance…

"Ah, to be young like that again," Cologne mused to herself as she watched everything from the shadow of the doorway, then added a playful, "Not! I'd almost forgotten what it was like to be that foolish. How naïve they all are, how easy to manipulate, and yet…for my part I do hope that the night turns out well…" she paused before turning to note the figure in the shadows, "Do you not agree, Happy?"

The figure detached himself from the shadows and said, "How did you know I was there, old woman?"

"Instinct," Cologne replied, "Not that I have anything to fear from you these days. The times when you could sneak up on me have long since passed, and I am wise to your many tricks, Panty-thief…"

"Ah, who'd want to steal anything from you?" Happosai snorted, "Your better days are long behind you."

"So," Cologne narrowed her gaze as she took in the lecherous old Master, "To what do I owe the dubious honor of your presence? Do you seek to taunt me, or are you ready to tell what you did with the Amazon treasures you stole from our village?"

"Stole them?" Happosai was indignant, "That mirror was supposed to be a gift from you! I've still got it well hidden, so it's safe for the moment. But I didn't come here to reminisce about the good old days. I just wanted some advice from you is all…"

"Y-You?" it was not often that Cologne could be startled, but that simple declaration was enough to make her eyes look as round as saucers, "You want my advice…?"

"Well, actually, more like a consultation," Happosai explained, "You see, I've been trapped in a cave for the past ten years, and in that time a lot of things have happened. I've already seen at least a few of those changes for myself, but it's gotten me to wonder about the rest. I'm thinking maybe I should look up some of my old haunts and find out what's become of the rest of my former associates."

"I see," Cologne mused, "So you want to look them up and harass them…"

"I do not!" Happosai cried in outrage, "But when you get to be my age you start to wonder about things like family and what they may be doing for themselves. I had more than just Soun and Genma to take care of in the days before my long slumber, and I'm hoping to catch up with them, find out what they're doing, and see how the Anything Goes school is prospering in their care."

"And what do you get out of these exchanges?" Cologne asked, then eyed the old man shrewdly, "Or are you hoping to find more daughters as capable as the ones sired by at least one of your two foolish disciples?"

"Hey, it couldn't hurt to check up," Happosai shrugged, "But I got serious issues to work out, so don't be such a stick-in-the-mud. Tell me what you know and I'll get out of your hair for the rest of the evening."

"As tempting as the idea may be," Cologne replied, "I am not the one you should be asking. However you are in luck as the one whom you should ask is sleeping peacefully upstairs, and if you are willing to wait I can inform her of your presence."

"Her?" Happosai gained a very worried expression, "You don't mean…?"

"Your grand niece," Cologne replied, "After a fashion. She knew that you were coming almost from the instant of your arrival and predicted the complications that would follow with surprising accuracy. I'm certain that she will be most eager to see you again after so long an interval…"

"If she's here, then I'm leaving," Happosai declared and was about to turn around and leave when a new figure appeared in the doorway to the Nekohanten.

"Excuse me," he said, "Elder Cologne…may I speak with you a moment?"

Cologne blinked her eyes once and stared owlishly at the figure of Doctor Tofu, who was looking somewhat wan and pale in the dim light of her restaurant. The distraught expression on his face was very much unlike the normally poised and well-mannered healer that she had so recently come to know and respect, so without preamble she said, "Sacred Ancestors, child, what happened to you?"

"Ah…nothing happened, really," Tofu said with a sheepish look as he ran fingers through his unkempt brown hair, looking more boyish than adult at that precise moment, "I was just wondering…have you seen or heard from Kachu? I've been trying to find her for the last few hours…"

"Kachu?" Cologne asked in surprise, "Why? What happened between you two?"

"It was a misunderstanding," Tofu replied, "My fault, really…I upset her and I wanted to apologize. I…well…she saw a side of me that I'm not proud of, and I…I want a chance to explain myself to her…"

"You don't say?" Cologne mused, wondering if what she had been afraid of had indeed happened and Kachu had witnessed for herself the notorious behavior of the good doctor in the presence of her half sister.

"Yes, I…well…" Tofu stumbled in his speech, then said, "Have you seen her? I've been searching all over…"

"Have you tried looking for her back at your Clinic?" Cologne asked him.

"Three times," Tofu said, then hesitated again before adding, "Do you think she'd actually go back there?"

"She has no choice but return to you, no matter difficulties you might have," Cologne replied, "If you have a fight or a disagreement, still she must return home and cannot abandon you. She is Amazon and the law still applies to her, regardless of your personal feelings in the matter."

"But that's just it," Tofu protested, "I don't want her to be forced into a marriage with me just because of a misunderstanding. I only defeated her to protect Akane from harm, I didn't do it to make her be obligated to me or to gain a wife…"

"So that's what this is about," Happosai mused, coming to stand beside Tofu with a calculating expression, "You protected Akane from her half-sister and thus defeated an Amazon…and a Demon Hunter at that. Quite the accomplishment, my boy, you should be very proud of yourself."

"Proud?" Tofu replied with a very puzzled expression.

"Of course!" Happosai proclaimed in delight, "It means you can have all the sex you want anytime you want it, day or night-Urk!"

"Would you be serious for once?" Cologne growled as she removed her staff from the head of her fellow ancient, "Now then, as I was saying, the best place for you to look for your new bride is at your home residence. Give her time to cool down and she will eventually return to you of her own volition."

"But isn't there something I can do?" Tofu asked, "Some way of nullifying this business about the two of us being married?"

"But do you really wish to dissolve the marriage?" Cologne eyed him shrewdly, "After all, you've only known each other for a single day and a night. That's hardly sufficient time to make a lifelong decision of such great consequence for you both."

"But…" Tofu hesitated, then said, "You think a single instant when I defeated her is a good enough determination of our fitness to marry?"

"Believe it or not, yes," Cologne answered, "For a man's character is judged by his actions, and you acted from the purest of motives with the surest of instincts when you took down a Devil Hunter as formidable as Kachu. If she searched all of Japan and China I don't think she could find a more fitting or deserving husband. It is the will of the Kami, so why do you fight it?"

"Because…because she ought to have a choice about who she marries," Tofu replied, "I wasn't looking to get married this soon…"

"Oh no?" Cologne asked, "Not even to Tendo Kasumi?"

"Ah…" Tofu winced, "But that's different…"

"How so?" Cologne wondered, "They are both equally beautiful, even if their beauty is tempered by radically different aspects that seem to represent two sides to one character. You may think you know Kasumi because you have watched her grow from child to adult, but do you really know that much about her? After all, you've never been able to even hold an intelligent conversation in her presence."

"Ah…" Tofu could not think of anything to say in response to that, so he heaved a defeated sigh and said, "So you're not going to help me…is that it?"

"I believe that I already did," Cologne remarked as she turned away, "But since you're the Doctor, it's up to you to make your own diagnosis."

Tofu stared down at the floor with a dejected expression, yet in his eyes there was also a thoughtful gleam as if he were slowly putting the pieces together of a massive jigsaw puzzle.

"You Japanese are such a strange lot," Cologne remarked when he did not reply for a long, drawn out instant, "You always make things more complicated than they have to be, and you refuse to accept what you know is in your heart. If you can't see that the two of you are in this together, then no words of mine are going to persuade you."

"Elder…" Tofu said, not quite smiling but no longer looking as sad either, "Arigato. If you'll excuse me, I have to go find a certain lady."

Cologne waited until the man left the premises, then turned to look back at a shadow hiding in the corridor leading to the kitchen, "That means you should be leaving too. No more of this childish nonsense, you're grown enough to face the consequences of your actions."

"<Yes Elder,>" replied Kachu, and without a sound she too withdrew from the Nekohanten.

"Not too shabby," Happosai said, having fully recovered, "If I didn't know you so well I'd think that you were the Lore Master around here."

"I haven't lived this long without learning something about manipulating people," Cologne said with a sniff, "And some young people just need a good whack in the head to motivate them into seeing what's right there in front of them."

Happosai breathed a very soft sniff and said, "That sounds a little too much like the old days. You're living too much in the past, old woman. Try living in the here and now, you'll be a lot more like me."

"Now if that isn't a comforting thought," mused Cologne, but she realized that she was merely talking to herself, for the dirty old master had already taken his leave of the restaurant. Cologne merely sighed and resolved to check to see if all of the good silverware was right where she left it…

Ukyo chided herself for the old habit of glancing over her shoulder, even though she was aware of being followed by more than one group of interested parties. Instead she turned her attention to the lovely girl clinging to her arm, feeling both awkward and confused at the Amazon's curious behavior. Though female herself, Ukyo reluctantly conceded, there were still aspects of femininity that were as puzzling for her as any true guy in her position.

"We're being followed," Ukyo said at last, though to her the statement was so obvious that she wondered if Shampoo needed to be informed of this directly.

"Shampoo know this," she replied, confirming Ukyo's suspicions, "Stupid lost boy and Akane make more noise than pregnant warthog. Even littlest child of village have more sense than wear bright colors in snowbank."

"I know what you mean," Ukyo said with a lopsided smile, "That yellow coat is definitely not flattering to her figure, and who in their right mind wears sunglasses at night? Still, I am a little surprised that those two are going to all the trouble."

"Shampoo think Akane no trust Shampoo around cute boy," the Amazon said coyly, leaning her head against Ukyo's shoulder as she added, "Spatula girl have follower who no like other boys, except stupid Ryoga. What you think that mean?"

"Ah?" Ukyo felt incredibly nervous at the reminded of just how friendly the youngest Tendo sister had become around her, especially in light of the revelation about Ryoga. With increasing uneasiness she said, "I'm sure she's just using me to make her boyfriend jealous…"

"Think so?" Shampoo asked, smiling at Ukyo in a way that made the other girl wince all the more, and if the Amazon had not been gripping her arm so tightly she would have fled into the night to avoid this whole crazy situation.

"Ah…look," Ukyo said, "I don't particularly like being used to get at somebody else, so could you sort of knock it off for a while? At least until we get to the restaurant?"

"Hmph," Shampoo stood upright once again and continued walking normally, though she kept a firm grip on Ukyo's arm as she added, "Spatula girl no fun date. You too much like Ranma, afraid let go and show true feelings."

"Hah?" Ukyo turned to gaze at Shampoo's profile, "What do you mean by that?"

"Is nothing," Shampoo said simply, "We wait talk till get to restaurant."

"Uh…okay," Ukyo replied, wondering just what was going on in the mind of the Chinese girl. Her nominal rival was such a confusing blend of contradictory impulses and it was proving impossible to anticipate what she would do or say next. On the surface she could seem so simple, yet like a Chinese doll there were layers within layers hidden beneath her attractive packaging, and it was small wonder that Ranma and Nabiki had been enthralled to the mystery that Shampoo represented.

She caught herself thinking like this and harshly chided herself over the way her mind had been drifting in and out of focus since her arrival at the Nekohanten. If it had not been for her intensive childhood training she might have missed catching a glimpse of something in motion far overhead. As it was she hardly needed to look up to confirm her suspicions and once again she felt a confusion of her inward perceptions. Her Ranchan had certainly grown up to be quite the swashbuckling romantic, and she briefly wondered what it would feel like to be carried in the same manner as Nabiki?

Yeah, right, like that was ever going to happen! Ukyo knew that she was a late arrival on the scene and that the field had become too crowded of late. There was more than one claim being directed against Ranma, and the last thing she needed in her life was to be counted as only one among many! She wanted more in life than just someone else's leftovers, so in spite of rekindling her old affection for Ranma she saw no benefits to be gained in pressing ahead with the stipulations of her father's will.

Only that created a dilemma of a different sort, not least of which was her inheritance when her father was no longer physically able to run the family business. Ukyo had spent years of her life preparing and training for taking over the responsibilities of the family corporation, but there were more than an ample supply of salary men and executives who would be happy to take that responsibility away from her if the company had to go into trust without a designated family member at its head. No way was Ukyo letting that happen, but this returned her to her original dilemma of what to do to satisfy her father.

Ukyo grimaced at that thought. Ranchan wasn't the only one who had problems with his old man! Ukyo still resented Genma for his betrayal of an agreement, but it was her father who was really at fault for making the deal in the first place, even knowing how untrustworthy Genma was when he had made it. Even if Genma had kept his part of the bargain it would still boil down to Ukyo being abandoned by her old man, which still galled her almost as much as Kuonji Akira's obvious preference for a son over a daughter.

"You very quiet for date," Shampoo observed, startling Ukyo out of her private reverie, "Shampoo think she walk with ghost, you move so silent. You no Amazon, but you have good training."

"Ah," Ukyo said lopsidedly, "My father…wasn't my only teacher. When I was training myself to get revenge…I had a few family friends who taught me the basics so I would be at my fighting best when I…got revenge on the two men who wronged me."

"Only you know Ranma no be part of betrayal," Shampoo said, "So you just beat up Ranma father and that satisfy revenge?"

Ukyo did not even have to think about her answer, "Oh yeah…I got plenty of satisfaction out of beating up Genma. But Ranchan…well…you're right, he's not to blame for his father's crimes. Thank the kami he didn't turn out to be exactly like his old man or he wouldn't be…"

She paused, feeling a tightness in her chest that prevented her from continuing. To her surprise she felt the Amazon squeeze her arm before finishing her sentence as though able to read her thoughts, "Only he no be Ranma. Shampoo understand you."

Ukyo was more than a little surprised at hearing the sympathy in the other girl's voice, but then again-she reminded herself-there was a lot that she did not know about the Amazon, her people and her culture. On the surface Shampoo seemed like a fairly simple girl, but she could surprise you with odd displays of great depth and perception that were quite at odds with her "Barbarian Chinese" reputation. That left a lot of questions open to exploration, but Ukyo had no idea where the answers would lead. At the very least she felt no antagonism towards Shampoo, so she resolved that their date should at least be a civil affair, if incredibly awkward in a way that left Ukyo feeling as directionless as any lost boy.

So she tightened her own grip on Shampoo's hand in response to the other girl's gesture and said, "What do we do about our tag-alongs?"

"What you mean we do?" Shampoo replied with a coy look, "You want be alone with Shampoo?"

"Ah…" Ukyo found herself increasingly nervous at the prospects of this date, now more than ever confused at where they were doing and what this might lead to. At the very least she knew that Ranma and the others were going to be dogging them every step of the way, and that was bound to lead to trouble should Nabiki decide to blow her cover from simple spite. The middle Tendo girl was a clever one, but she was obviously very much in love with Ranma and considered Ukyo a threat to her relationship. About this other thing regarding Shampoo…well, that was her business, and something else that Ukyo had no intentions of placing herself in the middle of if she had any choice in the matter.

So she decided to ignore her warning instincts telling her of her pursuit, assured at least that none of her followers was planning her any real mischief. And so it was that Kuonji Ukyo, heir to a long and noble line of warriors, failed to perceive a third party that was trailing behind the others, one far more skilled at the arts of subtlety and tracking than any mere martial artist. The gleam of light played off of a pair of glasses as the figure paused to mark his bearings, confirmed that he was on the right trail then started off again, covering ground with an ease that was almost as graceful as a bird in full motion…

"I want to thank you for all your kindness," Nodoka said as she was shown to Kasumi's bedroom by the elder Tendo daughter, "I do hope this won't be a bother for you putting me up for the night."

"Nonsense," Kasumi said with a pleasant smile, "You are a guest, and your son will be marrying my little sister. That almost makes you family."

"Oh my," Nodoka said brightly, "I guess you're right. That means I should look forward to calling you my niece. I think that I will enjoy that."

"So will I," Kasumi replied, "Then you can come over and visit us as often as you like. We would very much enjoy having you over."

"Such a good girl you are," Nodoka said with genuine warmth, "Your mother would be so proud to see the young woman you've grown up to be. Such a pity that my son didn't choose you to be his wife, then I could call you my daughter.'

"You're much too kind," Kasumi replied, "But I'm content to let Nabiki marry him. Your son is a very strong and handsome young man, but…I prefer someone a bit…older…"

"Oh," Nodoka's expression fell, "I see…in other words my son isn't mature enough by your standards."

"Don't be silly," Kasumi gently chided, "I'm much too old for him. Ranma has so much energy that I think I'd be exhausted trying to keep up with him. Nabiki has helped Ranma to adjust to life in our house and I know that she's satisfied that he's maturing in stages. In fact, I've never known her to be so happy."

"My son makes her happy?" Nodoka brightened considerably.

"Oh yes," Kasumi gave the other woman an even brighter smile than before, "In fact I don't think Nabiki herself knows how much she's come to depend upon Ranma to make her days fulfilling. She's usually so distant and alone, she's not used to having someone depend on her the way she depends on him for warmth and happiness. You should have seen her before Ranma and his father came to live with us and you'd would know how much she's changed for the better."

"I'm glad to hear you say this," Nodoka said, tears welling up in her eyes though pride kept her from allowing them to be shed, "For many years I've worried that he wouldn't grow up to be a man at all, and now to think that he has two young ladies vying for his attention…it makes him sound so much more like the Genma I knew before our marriage…"

"Ahem," Comb spoke up as she appeared at the door to Kasumi's room, "Now that's a frightening thought if ever I heard one. I see you two are getting along splendidly, but I was wondering if I might borrow Kasumi from you for a bit, Nodoka-san. There's something I wish to discuss with her in private."

"I would be only too happy to do so, Comb-san," Kasumi said brightly, "If you don't mind setting up here by yourself, Auntie. I took the liberty of unrolling your tamati, so you shouldn't have any trouble."

"Of course," Nodoka said as she unslung the cloth-wrapped item that she had been carrying across her back much of the night, "You really are such a considerate young girl. More young ladies should be as polite and considerate as you, Kasumi-chan."

Comb said nothing, but there was a tightness about her eyes and mouth that suggested that she was less than sanguine about that prospect. In the privacy of her thoughts she considered a world where everyone was as cordial and deferential as these two and almost gagged at the concept. The insulin shock alone would have numbed her whole nervous system!

She led the way as the oldest Tendo daughter (of those present anyway) followed her at a demure pace. Kasumi did not ask what Comb wished to speak about even when the Healer led the way downstairs and headed for the back porch. Kasumi did raise her eyebrows in confusion as Comb headed straight for the dojo, pausing at the door for a moment before glancing over her shoulder and looking straight at Kasumi.

"Did you tell her anything?" Comb asked.

Kasumi blinked her eyes, looked puzzled, then tentatively replied, "About what?"

"About the curse her son and husband live under," Comb said with frail patience, "Did you tell her anything about Jusenkyo?"

"No," Kasumi replied, "You asked me not to when we were in the kitchen. You said that it would be too much to tell Auntie Nodoka about the curses all at once…"

"And of course you're too dutiful a child to even think about disobeying," Comb relaxed noticeably with a sigh before adding, "I can't believe that you and Kachu really are half-sisters."

Kasumi blinked at this again, then relaxed herself and said, "Well…it is rather unusual, but I'm starting to get used to the idea of having another sister who looks a bit like me…"

"Which is about as far as the resemblance between the two of you goes," Comb turned back to the dojo, "I'm glad you honored my request. I have a very bad feeling about how Nodoka will react when she does find out. Come with me, I have to confirm this for myself with a certain party."

Kasumi felt more and more confused as she followed the Amazon into the dojo, discovering that her father and Silk were already present confronting a nervous Genma, who was in human form again instead of panda.

"Thank you for keeping him here," Comb began with a nod towards her fellow Amazon.

"It was no trouble at all," Silk replied with a faint half-smile that made Genma look-as if it were possible-even more nervous than before, "He's been on his best behavior since you asked him to sit still and wait for you so nicely."

"Mainly because he knows what I will do to him if I have to hunt him down and drag him back," Comb growled menacingly with a studied glance towards a discarded back-pack laying in one corner.

"I don't understand," Soun was looking at his old friend, "Why don't you want Nodoka to know that you're here?"

"Because of a promise he made long ago," Comb replied, not giving Genma a chance to respond for himself as she continued to walk right up to him until she could tower over the cowering man, who remained seated as if awaiting his execution. "Isn't that right, Genma-san?"

"Promise?" Silk was surprised as this was the first she had heard mention about any promise, "What promise?"

"The promise to make his son a 'Man-among-men,'" Comb glared down at Genma with an imperious expression, "You know what she was like in the old days. Nodoka had all sorts of fancy notions about how men and women should behave. She wanted you to be more manly, but instead you turned into a pitiful, sniveling coward who runs in terror of his own shadow. Look at you now…you're shaking like an old man from our village!"

"You don't understand," Genma's voice quavered, "If she finds out that our son turns into a girl…"

"And that it's your fault?" Silk added sweetly, enjoying the chance to twist the knife even a little.

"What did you promise her, Saotome?" Soun asked, "I could understand her being upset with you, but she's a very understanding lady and I'm sure she will grow accustomed to your unusual condition."

"You don't know her like I do, Tendo-kun!" Genma's voice quavered, "Believe me, if she finds out she won't be understanding!"

"Then why don't you enlighten us?" Comb asked, reaching down with casual ease, then grabbed Genma by his gi and quite easily lifted him to his feet as she growled, "Or would you rather explain yourself before Nodoka, who is just a short distance away from here and would probably hear me if I called to her here and now?"

"No…!" Genma wilted, "You can't do that!"

"This is not just about you anymore," Comb said with her nose only inches from his own, "This is about your son, who is the lawful husband to my daughter, and thus the future of my family and Shampoo's future happiness. If you do not tell me what I want to know here and now-and in detail, mind you-then I cannot promise to protect you from your wife's wrath. If anything, I'll gladly turn you over to her and leave you to face the consequences of your own actions."

"Perhaps it is not as bad as either of you think?" Silk asked with a hopeful note to her voice, "There could be some degree of moderation to satisfactorily resolve this situation?"

"Saotome," Soun frowned, "I trust there is a reasonable explanation of what you promised to your wife, and how it affects the future happiness of my Nabiki?"

Genma looked trapped and helpless, unable to find any avenue of flight that was not covered. He considered using his skills to escape from Comb's grasp but did not rate his chances quite so good as when they both were much younger, and any way there was that annoying Silk looking ready to back up her friend, while the glare he was receiving from Soun did not promise any assistance from that corner. Even Kasumi appeared to be less than fully supportive as she sat quietly beside her father and looked at Genma as if hoping that matters would be resolved in the next five minutes. It finally occurred to him that his options were bleak and he really did not have any choice in the matter, so at last he sighed and his shoulders slumped in resignation.

"All right," he began, "It all started when Ranma was born, when I knew that my son was destined to become a great martial artist…"

Shampoo's Diary Resumes:

Although I was surprised to find myself enjoying the company of my rival, I thought matters were going quite well on our date, at least in regards to stirring up the interest of my sneaky wife and husband. If anything matters appeared to be going very well indeed, which I realize now, with the benefit of hindsight, was simply the calm before the storm that preceded the arrival of a real disaster for this one..

Kuonji Ukyo is a very puzzling person, born a woman yet wishing she were a man, as if there were anything to be faulted in being born of the noble gender. These Japanese with their male-dominant culture seem so primitive and backwards in a lot of ways, for all their technological advances. I am both amazed and appalled at what I have discovered in my time in the outside world, and I think in a great many ways this society could only benefit from more exposure to the Amazon lifestyle.

Ukyo…I call her that here instead of "Spatula Girl," an affectionate nickname that I have adopted to describe this one who is almost a rival for my husband. I am very much of the opinion that she would be a prized catch for some of my people, perhaps even my cousin, Perfume. Of course Ukyo insists that she does not have an interesting in sharing pleasures with another female, but given the confused nature of her self-identity I am not much inclined to take her word at face value. Perhaps under different circumstances I might even be willing to make a play for her myself, but I am more than content to devote myself to my true wife and husband.

The restaurant that Ukyo chose for our date was, by standards, of more expensive tastes and appealed to a higher class of clientele than what we service in the Cat Café. I am not accustomed to dining in such accommodations, mainly because we have no such equivalent back home in China, so I was faintly impressed that Ukyo would treat me out in such style, though I pretended not to notice how much the place resembled a small palace. The waiters there were like courtiers and acted with perfect decorum and even spoke the language of the Coastal towns without noticeable accents, and even the food had the proper flavor of the mainland, so in a very odd way I felt like a princess from one of Great Grandmother's bedtime stories. Cross-dresser or no, Ukyo was at least honoring me in a manner most unusual for a rival.

Perhaps I should say here that the concept of great wealth was not entirely new to me, though in fact we have no real equivalent of this in Joketsuzoku. Great Grandmother is the bearer of many treasures that have been a part of our family for many generations, some of them gifts from Emperors and Nobles from many past dynasties that once ruled China. In spite of our reputation as a poor village my family is considered well off when compared to others, and though we do not publicly flaunt our wealth in our nominally "Socialist" society, we have never really done without or known true hardship, at least within my generation.

Still it was something of a revelation to me when I first traveled beyond the boundaries of Amazon lands to discover what life was like in other parts of China. It shocked me to discover just how poor some of our neighbors were in comparison to us, just as I was surprised to discover wealthy landlords living on private estates and factories where the division between the haves and have-nots is starkly defined even to one bred as I was to the simple life of the country.

Of course I did not let on, at first, that I was aware of the expense of our date, or that I felt like a party aparatchik (whom I'm given to understand behave more like the Mandarins than lowly servants of the people) but instead opted to behave as if Ukyo were treating me in a manner worthy of an Amazon Champion. I was more concerned with wondering what Ranma and Nabiki would do while we were dining in such luxury. I very much doubted that my wife would be able to afford to pay the prices I saw written on the menu, and I was equally convinced that the same would hold true for Akane and the stupid Pig-boy.

Of course what I failed to anticipate was the ingenious nature of our stalking partners, just as I failed to perceive the looming disaster that was about to befall us…

Nabiki's Journal Resumes:

"The Jade Pagoda?" I remarked aloud, seeing the place that Kuonji had selected for her date.

"Pretty swank," Ranma observed as he leaned over the rail of the building we were on top of, "Looks like Ucchan's sparing no expense. Think he's trying to impress her?"

"I don't think that's what he plans," I said rather lamely, finding it hard not to stumble on my choice of gender reference, "Sure isn't sparing any expense, though. I guess Kuonji's just trying to fulfill his obligations like we said he should, treating Shampoo out in style."

"Smooth devil," Ranma snorted, "Guess we'd better go in there and find out what they're up to."

"Are you kidding me?" I gasped, "Do you know just how expensive that place is? I couldn't even afford to park there!"

"It's all right," Ranma said, "I've got some cash on me, we should be able to make out."

"You have money?" I goggled my eyes at my normally destitute iinazuke.

"Your Dad loaned me some," Ranma replied, "And I was saving a little from this week's dojo profits in case I needed it. Should be enough to get us a seat as long as we don't order anything too expensive."

I had to blink at that before I said, "You were planning on doing this?"

He favored me with a lopsided smile as if daring me to outright admit that I didn't think he was that intelligent, "What's the matter, you think I'm totally useless? I've been hanging around with you long enough to get the idea that it's always good to carry around a little pocket cash."

I choked down several favorite retorts that I might have used in this situation and gave my fiancé a grudging nod of respect, then said, "All right, but you'd better not blow too much on this date, Saotome. I wouldn't be happy if Kasumi doesn't have enough left to buy us some food to last the week."

"Well, I guess maybe we'll just have to work something out if that happens, won't we?" he smiled, then took me by the hand and said, "You ready?"

"What? Now?" I gasped, belatedly realizing that neither one of us was dressed up appropriately for a high-class establishment, but I had little time to mull over that as Ranma scooped me up into his arms once again, and then launched us out into the night while I wished fervently for a parachute as my ideal dress for the evening…

"Wow," Ryoga said, "I didn't know there was any place this fancy in Nerima."

"I guess Ukyo's able to afford it," Akane grudgingly admitted, "Sure a lot better than that hussy deserves, taking advantage of him like that."

"Are you sure it's her and not him?" Ryoga frowned, "It looks more like he's trying to impress her…"

"I don't believe it!" Akane suddenly grated.

"What?" Ryoga asked in confusion, "You don't think he could be flaunting the fact that he has money?"

"Not that, baka," Akane growled as she pointed, "Over there! That Ranma with my sister! They're going into that place."

"Huh?" Ryoga was slow to make the shift in mental gears, but he caught sight of the familiar pair stepping out from the alley heading for the front door, and then he said, "What are they doing?"

"Sneaking into that place," Akane said in low tones, "They must have been following poor Ukyo once he and that floozy left the Nekohanten.'

"You think they want to keep their eyes on Kuonji-san?" Ryoga asked.

"Why else would they be here?" Akane replied, "Some people have no trust in others."

Like us? Ryoga mentally asked the question but wisely did not say it aloud as Akane grabbed him by the hand and drew him forward, prompting him to say, "Hey! Where are we going?"

"If they can go in there then so can we," Akane resolved firmly.

"But we don't have any money!" Ryoga protested.

"We'll improvise!" Akane replied, "That's what martial artists do when we're faced with a challenge!"

"I've got a bad feeling about this…" Ryoga murmured faintly, unable to help himself as he was drawn along to the alley behind the restaurant…

Shampoo's Diary Resumes:

I was rather surprised that Ukyo did not bat an eyelash when I ordered something very pricey off the menu, something that made me feel a twinge of guilt as it was contrary to all of Great Grandmother's lectures on frugality. Back home such a sum could have supplied enough food for a feast during one of our tournaments. I began to wonder just how well off this Ukyo was that she could be treating me in such a generous manner.

Of course Great Grandmother has often cautioned me that the best way to find something out is not to be too direct in asking a question. I've never had much patience for subterfuge, but as my intention was to learn as much as I could about my rival I decided that the use of clever words would serve me as well as any weapons. I wanted to know as much as I could find out about this she-male who dared set eyes upon my husband, so I chose to play my part as carefully as if I were conducting one of Great Grandmother's military strategy games. I was uncertain of the conditions and terrain of my battlefield and so I proceeded with caution, pretending to be indifferent to the odd glances I was receiving from my designated opponent.

It was, of course, up to Ukyo that I allowed her to make the first move, and it came in the form of a question quite unrelated to our date. I could hear the nervous strain of her voice as she hesitantly asked me, "So…Shampoo, how does it feel to have your mother coming to pay a visit?"

I think I failed to conceal my surprise at the question, but I managed to say something like, "This one is glad that her mother approves of her choice in wife and husband, but it does seem odd that she knew Ranma's father before any of us were born."

"Yeah," she seemed to be both amused and unhappy with my answer, "I know what you mean there, Sugar. Can't say I'd know what to say if I saw my mom alive again after how-many-years and learned that she knew Saotome Genma."

I looked at her and felt a twinge of sympathy again, but as the key to any successful campaign is knowing where and when to strike at a vital area, I chose this avenue to begin my probe and said, "How did you lose your mother? Did she die in battle?"

"Who, Mom?" Ukyo blinked and looked at me in a very odd way, "Ah…I don't know, really. Dad never told me about that. I'm pretty sure it wasn't in battle, though. I think maybe…she might have died having me."

Again I felt both surprise and pity but I covered it up as I asked, "Why do you think this?"

Ukyo shifted nervously before she said, "Because of the way Dad's always looked at me, like it was my fault Mom died or something. I think he raised me to be a boy because I kind-of remind him of her, or something like that. I don't really know why he does anything anymore, like writing his will to force me to either punish or marry Ranchan. I mean…he knows I'm good at business, so why doesn't he let me take some of the responsibility away from him so he can rest and get better? I've been training all my life to run the family business, and I thought I'd finally won his trust so that he'd give me more to do than just sit on the sidelines and worry."

I looked at her with increasing surprise. I had hoped that she would open up to me but I had not expected her to open up this wide or this soon. I began to suspect that she had issues she wanted to vent out in the open, and that I had just provided her with the perfect venue for expressing emotions that she had been keeping to herself for a very long time.

"What is wrong with your father?" I asked, making sure to pose the question as if my only interest was her personal welfare.

I saw her look away before she replied, "I don't know…he won't tell me. He says it's overwork, but he's been taking more and more time away from the office. I'm beginning to think it's more than just stress, but the doctors won't tell me either. He's letting his trustees and lawyers make a lot of his decisions these days, but all he'll let me do is run my own restaurant. I guess he's waiting to see if I can turn a profit before he gives me more responsibilities."

I nodded my head to that and said, "Elders always keep the important things to themselves. This one understands you. This one has the same problem with her great grandmother."

"At least your old lady looks pretty spry for a gal her age," Ukyo said in what I took to be her crude idea of humor, "I guess maybe we're not all that different after all. I've been fighting all my life to prove myself to my elders, and it's about damned time they give me a chance to do it. I'm sixteen years old now, I ought to be able to run my life on my own birthday."

"This is your day of birth?" I asked with no little surprise.

"Yeah," she laughed gruffly, taking a sip of water from her glass, "And I wind up sharing it on a date with you of all people, go figure."

"This one is sorry," I replied, "You would much rather spend the day with my husband?"

I saw her wince at that and belatedly realized that my tone must have betrayed some of my resentment, but she was civil as she replied, "Look, I know you think I want him for myself, but I already know that's not gonna happen, Sugar. I respect Ranchan too much to want to come between you guys, and that includes Nabiki."

"Then you have abandoned your quest to make Ranma your husband?" I asked narrowly, studying her face for any possible reaction.

I saw the hesitation and reluctance in her expression, but then she heaved a sigh that seemed to come straight from the bottom of her soul as she replied, "Yeah, I guess maybe I have. I don't go looking for fights if I can avoid them, especially ones I may not be able to win. I mean…you and Nabiki are pretty tough competition, and you've already got a pretty good head start winning him over, and Ranchan…" she glanced away and there was obvious pain in her voice as she said, "I guess maybe I'm fooling myself if I think I've got any chance there. Once he finds out that I'm really a girl and that I've been fooling him all along…lying to him by letting him think I'm just his old pal, Ucchan…" she turned and gave me a frank look as she concluded, "I guess what happened between Akane and Ryoga will look like a picnic. I wouldn't even blame Ranchan for hating me in the end. This is all such a mess, and it's my fault. If I hadn't let Dad engage us in the first place…"

"But you still love him?" I asked, feeling oddly conflicted. Normally my first impulse with any rival is to rub their nose in the dirt and try to impress them with my natural superiority, but somehow I just could not bring myself to do that to Kuonji. Perhaps in a way I even identified with her as echoes of my own lost love could be heard in the misery that she was displaying.

To her credit she did not flinch at my question, but rather seemed to be carefully thinking it over before formulating her reply, "I guess in a way I do, not that it makes any damned difference. This is all the old man's fault for taking him away from me when we might have had more time…" she glanced down and said, "Well…that's in the past, I guess, and it's time I got on with my own life. Ten long years this thing has been chewing me up inside…" she shook her head very sadly, "I wanted revenge, but I guess the old saying is true that when you seek vengeance you should be prepared to dig two graves."

I looked at her very curiously and asked, "Who told you this? It is not an Amazon concept."

"I suppose not," Kuonji gave me a very lopsided kind of smile and said, "I don't remember if it was a Chinese guy or one of our people who first came up with the line, but I learned it from my Great Uncle, who used to be my sensei."

Now we were moving closer to the heart of another question that had been on my mind for some time now, so I decided the moment was right to confront her on this directly by asking, "What discipline did you master? This one is not familiar with the Japanese fighting style you use. You say you learned it from your father, or that you taught yourself learning to cook near the ocean? Very unusual training methods, this fighting with cooking utensils. If this one did not know better she would think you had an Amazon Warmaster for teacher."

"Just about," Ukyo replied, and then her tone became very serious and I knew that she was speaking of very grave matters of an entirely personal nature, "Kuonji style Okinomiyaki fighting is a variation of what is known as Shotokan-Ryu Karate, but it's actually based on a much older style that was pioneered over a thousand years ago in the Koga mountains that we originally hail from."

"Koga mountains?" I asked, feeling a prickling down my spine as a legend once told to me by my great grandmother came back to me just then, of warring clans declared outlaw by the main Japanese government, forcing their Samurai to go underground and practice methods that were said to be Amazon in their original nature.

"Yeah," she said with a softened expression that made me think she was actually feeling relieved to be able to tell this with someone else who understood the art with as much passion as she has, "About two hundred and sixty-odd years ago my family was part of a larger clan of Ninja who served the Tokugawa Shogunate, and in those days most Ninja families weren't operating that much in the open. We didn't have television and the media to glamorize the art, and we kept a pretty low profile, only donning the traditional black outfit on those rare occasions then it was practical to use. Most of the time real-life Ninjas had nine-to-five jobs as farmers, traders, herdsmen and whatever, roles that were more than disguises in some cases and actually supported our families between jobs. In the case of my ancestors that was an early form of food delivery service, so for most of the last three hundred years there have been Kuonjis using pizza making as a disguise that allows us to travel undercover on long assignments and get pretty familiar with the vast terrain of Japan. When the Shogun had need of us he'd send a message and we'd more-or-less come running, only one day the Shogunate fell and a new government took control over Japan, banning the class of Samurai and pretty much running most Ninja clans out of business. We still train in the old ways, of course, but there aren't too many Kuonjis left who practice it as a pure and absolute art. My grand uncle was one of them, and I think maybe my father was too, though he never told me much about that part of his life…or anything else pretty much for that matter."

That latter part had been spoken with obvious resentment and more than ever I began to suspect that there were deep shadows in Ukyo's past that no one else had ever been privileged to witness. I was wondering about that myself when I asked, "So why do you tell this one about this? Is it not a treasured family secret?"

"I dunno why I just told you," she said with what I took to be complete candor, "I guess maybe you're just a good listener, Sugar. I don't make much about my family's history, but there's a lot of traditional stuff that I've never taken all that much to heart, like the idea of absolute and total commitment. If I was that much of a traditionalist I don't think I would have been able to so easily forgive Ranma, even if he is blameless for what happened."

"So, you were trained to be a Ninja?" I asked.

"Was trained," Ukyo corrected, "I stopped formal training a few years ago when my grand uncle died. I never made full belt in the family system, but belt's are just something you use to hold your pants up as far as it goes with me. I will say this much, though…I had to work out a deal to be released from my obligations to the clan so I could continue my quest to find Ranchan. I…fulfilled my part of that deal some time ago, so I don't consider myself obligated any more. It's not something I want to explain…I just felt like telling somebody and you happened to be available, so go figure."

In a very odd way I felt strangely honored that she had been willing to confide this to me. More than ever I was confused about this Kuonji person who was such a study in contrasts. I found myself wishing that she had been raised as an Amazon where she could have been open about her gender, even if that likely would mean that we'd have wound up as rivals at tournament. An opponent as skilled as she would certainly have provided rare sport, and I have always dearly prized a worthy challenger to test my skills to their fullest.

But then she looked at me in a manner that was almost sly and said, "Your turn, Sugar. Mind telling me something personal about yourself?"

I looked at her in confusion and said, "What would you ask of this one?"

"Something that's been bugging me ever since we met," she explained, "You were really ready to just up and marry Ranchan, a total stranger, because he happened to defeat you in a fight?"

"It is the Amazon way," I replied, "When this one mistook Ranma for an outsider woman she was obligated to give her the kiss of death, then hunt her down for killing…"

"Only you decided not to go through with it, huh?" she asked shrewdly, "Even before you found out that he was really a guy you'd pretty much let her lead you on a merry chase across China and into Japan when you could probably have caught him at any time and saved yourself the trouble. Am I right?"

"Who told you this?" I asked, wondering if my wife had confided things to Ukyo without my knowing.

"I asked Kasumi," she said, thereby nullifying my complaints, "She said you really didn't have the stomach for killing Ranma and wanted to leave her alone instead. She said you were just going through the motions to satisfy your Amazon traditions…"

It was my turn to look away, hiding my shame from view as much as I was able.

"So," Kuonji continued, "When you found out he was really a guy who changes into a girl…you just jumped right into the chance to satisfy both of your obligations?"

"It…was not that simple," I admitted, remembering with a crushing sense of misery the anguish I had felt upon discovering the truth behind Ranma's condition. At first I thought he really was a girl, and that I would be forced to kill my beloved husband, but then I also felt joy at the thought that he really was a woman, and horror at the thought of what Great Grandmother would say and do when she learned of these…complications.

"I'm not saying that it was," Ukyo continued, "But I am pretty surprised at how fast you just up and embraced the idea of marrying a complete stranger just because he defeated you in battle. Somehow you just don't seem the type to go with just anybody on that basis, and you must have known that Ranchan already had a girlfriend…"

"Why must I have known this?" I asked her sharply, allowing some of my old bitterness to penetrate the mask that I normally wear, but my anger died out as soon as these words were uttered and I relented enough to say, "This one is sorry, she did not mean to attack you, even if you are being a nosy outsider girl."

"One of my many faults, Sugar," Ukyo said with that lopsided smile of hers again, "Curiosity killed the…uh…feline, y'know?" she added with an awkward pause and a wince as she glanced in my direction.

I belatedly realized that she had been making an unintentional reference to my curse and considered making a retort of my own about cross-dressers, but then I oddly relented once again and said, "Is it so strange that this one could love a man who is strong, handsome and brave upon first encounter? Ranma issued challenge to me, formal or not, and defeated me through honorable means, so I gladly conceded his victory and was ready to reward him with this one's undying affections. This one had no notion that he had another promised wife before her. That came out later when…Sneaky Nabiki tried to trick Shampoo into marrying another."

"Okay," Ukyo glanced down and seemed to take her time before continuing once again, "I guess the part that really confuses me is where you decided to take her on as a second fiancée. I guess maybe I can go with the fact that you and Nabiki are…flexible about such things, but why agree to share him? Aren't you just the least little bit jealous?"

"Of my wife and husband?" I looked at her oddly, "Is it so strange that this one can love two people equally in different ways? I have no regrets about sharing my love with the both of them, so why should this one object if they share this one's love between each other?"

"O-kay…" Ukyo fidgeted and looked away from me, seeming quite uncomfortable in the formal men's attire that she was wearing for a disguise, "Well, if you think you can make it work out, then who am I to make a fuss? It's your lives, you can live it however you want. I guess Ranchan's a lucky guy to have the two of you willing to share him…"

"But you do not wish to be a part of this?" I asked, feeling a perverse desire to needle her again, "You don't think we could manage to squeeze you in between the both of us, or that Ranma isn't manly enough to take on three women?"

"Hah?" I saw her eyes go very round as she looked at me, which caused me to smile as I gave her my best coy/seductive look and purred softly while deliberately slipping one of my feet out from the slippers I was wearing to rub up against the inside part of one of her shins.

She reacted to that as if the gesture had burned her and backed away as far as she could while still remaining seated in her chair, fleshing a very bright red as she looked at me in confusion. I laughed at her reaction and saw her face momentarily cloud up with anger before she sighed again and threw her napkin down on the table.

"If you're not going to be serious then we might as well end this whole date thing here and now…" she started to declare angrily, but I raised a hand to discourage her from continuing further.

"This one is sorry if she has embarrassed you," I lied, keeping my face as sincere as I could manage, "But perhaps you should consider this before you decide to reject your engagement to Ranma."

"Ah…" she sat down again and tried to recompose herself before saying, "Look, it's nothing against you, and I don't mean you any offense or nothing like that, but…that's just not my thing, okay?"

I allowed my skepticism to show as I regarded her with a smile, and she obviously read my challenge to her protests and scowled at me, firming up her expression as she said, "I mean that, really."

I waved my hands to express my innocence and said, "This one is not calling you a liar, but how can you know until you have at least tried yourself with another woman?"

"And how can you be so sure it would work out?" she shot back in anger, but then I saw a light go on behind her eyes as she at last put things together. Her expression became one of surprise again as she said, "You've…been with a girl before?"

Now it was my turn to flinch. I silently cursed her for cleverly turning my taunts back upon me.

"I'm right, aren't I?" she said with growing realization, "You…already know what it's like…" she did not go on, allowing these simple words to summarize the truth she now was comprehending.

I would have stuck down another girl on the spot for daring to raise the memories that surfaced in my mind just then. Even my cousin knows better than to taunt me on the subject of my past relationship, but then she had feelings in that regard as well. Knowing how painful the subject is for us both it simply remains on the list of forbidden subjects that are never to be brought up by one or the other of us in polite conversation.

"So…" Kuonji paused before asking the next question very softly, "Who was she?"

"You mean like girl you date?" I shot back at her with an angry scowl, revealing the fact that I had been eavesdropping on her earlier conversation with Nabiki.

"Uh…" she said with a wounded expression, "You heard that, huh?"

"Ears like a cat," I smiled, but then I found it impossible to sustain my anger and resentment. I think we had already become so intimate in our exchanges that I had nothing left to lose by saying, "Her name…was Lo-Xion..."

Kuonji blinked and double-took at me, "You mean the old woman?" she asked with incredulity in her tone and expression.

I glared at her and said, "Not Lotion the Elder, my love was the great-granddaughter of the Elder, Lotion the Younger. She was my age…" and that was the part when I found it difficult to continue.

"Oh," I heard Kuonji say after the longest of pauses between us, "I'm sorry. What happened?"

"She died," I said, finding my eyes were suddenly stained with tears, forcing me to dab them with my fingers as I adopted a challenging tone and replied, "What do you want to know about her?"

"I…I…" Ukyo fell silent for another long pause before she was able to say, "I'm worry. I should never have brought it up. I didn't realize it would be so painful…"

I don't know exactly why but her words made me feel oddly comforted, and if anything I actually felt some kind of gratitude that she was apologizing for making me feel these ancient hurts once again. Ordinarily I would have flown into a rage had anyone dared to suppose that I was a weak girl who could be made to suffer for remorse over what I had lost with my Lotion. Great Grandmother had been so very disappointed in Perfume and me for actually coming to blows when jealousy and resentment had gotten the better of my cousin's nature, and how could I express such personal matters as this to Kuonji? We had already broached subjects that I had never discussed with anyone before, and I had a horrifying realization that this was what outsiders called Bonding.

But then the inevitable happened, virtually the story of my life wrapped up into one name, one word that I sometimes use as an adjective to express my exasperation and contempt for the guardian ancestors who have failed me so badly time and again for not sparing me this continual harassment.

Mousse happened, and he announced himself-as is typically his wont-by the enraged declaration of, "Saotome, you swine!"

I turned to look, and I'm sure Kuonji did likewise, because the next thing upon both of our lips was upon seeing Mousse standing there at our table in place of our waiter was one single word of disbelief.

"Saotome?"

Continued

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