Ah My Goddess Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ A Tale of Two Wallets ❯ Double Dating ( Chapter 40 )

A Tale of Two Wallets

(An Altered Destiny)

Written by Jim Robert Bader

Proofread by Shiva Barnwell

Everyone looked at Genma in frank disbelief and amazement. Soun looked shocked, Silk seemed horrified, and even Kasumi appeared to be less than her usual sanguine self as she gaped upon hearing the stupidity of her "Uncle Saotome." All three had a sense of the utter unreality of the man's confession, but their reactions paled before that of Comb, who let go of the heavyset man and barely registered the fact that she had done so.

"No…" she gasped as if to will away the words that had just been spoken.

Genma stumbled backwards and landed on his plump bottom, feeling about as abused as a rag doll for all that the beating had not even commenced yet. He tried to vainly reestablish some semblance of his dignity by adjusting his glasses, then rumbling to himself, "Yes, well…who knew that things would turn out like this?"

"Saotome," his old friend Soun said harshly, "How could you?"

"Rather easily from where I sit," Silk replied almost reflexively, though still too stunned to work up to her usual level of biting sarcasm.

"Uncle Saotome," Kasumi said with clear disapproval as she echoed her father, "How could you? Promising that Ranma would do that?"

Comb stared at her empty hands as if she had momentarily forgotten what she had been doing in the prior minutes, but then her anger welled up again like a black thing crawling up from the pit of her despair and outrage, "Genmaaaaaa….!"

The man stared up at her in terrified realization that the towering Amazon was only moments away from venting her wrath. In a plaintive voice he cried, "You don't understand! She'd never have let us out of the house if I hadn't made that promise…"

"I wonder why," Silk asked with more emphasis in her sarcasm.

Kasumi's normally tranquil brows furrowed ever so slightly. Even by her standards what Genma had promised for himself and his son was beyond the pale of what could be tolerated.

"Do you have any idea of what you set in motion?" Comb demanded, "When Nodoka finds out…you have doomed your son and condemned yourself! There is no way that she would be as understanding and forgiving as me if faced with the same situation regarding Shampoo's welfare!"

"Now that is a scary concept," Silk averred, though everyone ignored her.

"I know what Nodoka will do when she finds out," Genma replied, not bothering to hide his panic, "That's why I have to find the boy and leave at once! He doesn't know his mother like I do, he won't be able to defend himself, and once Nodoka sees him change…"

"He doesn't know?" Soun replied, "Ranma doesn't know that he signed a suicide pact when you took him on that training mission?"

"I never actually told him what it was," Genma explained, "I just had him put his handprint on the contract before I gave it to Nodoka. Why do you think that I've allowed him to believe that his mother is dead all of these years? If he knew he would have sought her out, and then…"

"But," Kasumi found a dim ray of hope as she said, "If Ranma wasn't aware of what he was doing, then the pact wouldn't be binding on him, right?"

"I'm afraid that it would, Kasumi," Soun said gravely, "Ranma may not have known what he was signing, but the contract had the authority of his father, which makes it binding, just like the agreement we made to unite our families through marriage."

"Japanese legalisms," Silk averred softly, "And because of this you condemn two people to death."

"Silk," Comb turned to her friend, "Can you locate young Master Saotome and warn my son-in-law not to return home until we can get this matter straight with Nodoka?"

Silk closed her eyes and relaxed, opening her mind to her other perceptions. It took only a moment before she opened them again and replied, "No good…there is some kind of interference surrounding him. I can't locate him directly, not even to fix his location."

"Then we'll just have to resort to other means to achieve the same purpose," Comb said with a thoughtful expression.

"What do you have in mind, Auntie?" Kasumi asked with concern in her voice and expression.

Comb fixed the older Tendo girl with a surprised look at being so addressed in the familiar, but she answered simply, "I don't know just yet. We'll have to improvise something. We must convince Nodoka that her son is manly while keeping the two of them apart. Jusenkyo curses are impossible to predict, and all we would need is one exposure to cold water and it would betray his secret. No matter what I will not allow Shampoo to be made a widow! One such tragedy was enough in her life, I won't have her face another."

"Another?" Soun said with growing confusion.

"It's not important now, Soun-chan," Silk replied, "But I agree with your assessment, Comb. It would be a great tragedy if a combat genius of young Saotome's potential were to be lost due to the errant stupidity of his father, to say nothing of the effect it would have upon a promising Lore Master."

"I can't believe that Aunt Nodoka would be capable of such a thing," Kasumi in plaintive tones of softly voiced disbelief and amazement.

"You are not the only one who has trouble believing it," Silk replied with much sympathy in her own voice, "But the Nodoka I knew of long ago was capable of a great many things that belied her gentle appearance, and I think it would be best to minimize the risk at the present."

"Then if it's all the same to you, I'd better be going," Genma started to get up when he felt a hand grip his shoulder.

"You," Comb said simply, "Won't be going anywhere, except into the Koi pond!"

Genma started to make protest when he found himself rocketing out of the doors from the dojo to land with unerring aim in the closest sizeable body of water, once again disturbing the sleep of the fish.

"Feel better?" Silk asked her friend.

"Not by much," Comb replied, "But it's a start."

Silk turned back towards Kasumi and said, "You'd better go back into the house in case Nodoka has need of anything. Comb and I will keep watch for the return of young Saotome."

"And what about my little girl?" Soun asked with growing concern.

"She will have to be informed of the danger as well," Comb paused and said, "What do you normally do when someone asks about the redheaded girl you have living in your house?"

"We tell them that she is named Ranko," Soun replied, "And that she is the cousin of Ranma."

"Won't do," Silk said, "Nodoka already knows all of her immediate relations by name, and Genma's especially. Perhaps if we pretend that she's your cousin she won't ask too many questions. Tell me, Soun-chan, didn't you once have a younger sister who vanished some years ago?"

"Yes I did," Soun looked both surprised and saddened at the memory, "Mariko…"

"Mariko?" Kasumi looked at her father in confusion, "I have an aunt named Mariko, father?"

Silk nodded, "Then that will be the name of Ranko's mother. For the sake of all concerned I suggest we rehearse this in our minds so as not to trip ourselves up by casual confusion. Can we count upon you, Child, to help keep the true identity of your brother-in-law secret?"

Kasumi did not look happy. In effect she was being asked to lie, and to someone whom she respected, but she had heard enough to understand the gravity of the situation, so she nodded her head and said, "I understand, Auntie. I'll do whatever it takes to protect my little sister and Ranma."

"You are such a good child," Silk said with clear admiration, as well as a twinge of regret of her own as she once again contrasted this girl with the one she called her daughter, "Now all that remains is telling the others the same story, and to hope that Nodoka buys it."

A soggy panda climbed out of the koi pond and shook his fur off, then held up a sign that seemed to appear in his paw from seeming nowhere, "This is all the fault of the boy…if only he had been more careful…"

"If only he…?" Comb snarled, then turned and stalked angrily over to where the practice weapons rack was stored and snatched up a quarterstaff, turning to glare before she rushed out of the dojo to attack an astonished panda, who dropped his sign and started running.

"Oh my," Kasumi said, "I hope she doesn't hurt him…too much."

"If she does then it will be well deserved," Soun said darkly.

"Never fear," Silk said, "I know Comb and her mood swings quite well, and you will note that she chose a blunt object. Of course where she sticks the end of that thing…" she did not continue, and even Kasumi nodded to this with grim satisfaction…

"Kachu!" Tofu cried as he thrust open the sliding too do his clinic, finding it dark inside, which greeted him with a sense of dashed hopes and unexpected desolation. "Kachu…"

"Inside," he heard her say, and when he managed to focus his eyes in the darkness he just barely made out a darker form sitting in the middle of the room with her legs folded.

Tofu came into his clinic, closing the door behind him and went to turn on the light, but before he could she said, "Don't bother."

Light came on with a surprising soft glow from her hands, and then Tofu saw the match Kachu held as she began lighting candles that had been set near to her position. One by one these candles were lit until four cardinal points were illuminated, casting her in an unearthly glow that barely allowed him to make out the details of her lovely features.

"Sit down," she indicated a spot that had been prepared across from her, no more than a meter distant, "We must talk."

"Ah…sure," Tofu said with growing concern as he sat down on the spot indicated, crossing his legs as he tried to regard her with his anxious expression.

"Husband," she began, and from the way she said the word he could tell it was not with favor, "You have been searching for me for some time."

He nodded, "I wanted to explain myself to you. I…I didn't mean for you to see that…"

"To see what?" she sniffed, "You acting like a total fool in front of my sister?"

He flinched at the heavy accusation in her voice but recovered almost at once and said, "Um…yeah, that's…what I wanted to explain…"

"Then go ahead," Kachu said, "By all means do so."

He felt his courage falter for a moment, but when he squared his shoulders again the resignation was obvious in his voice, even though he was convinced that she would despise him if she knew his darkest secret.

"I-I can't really explain it," he confessed, "I wish I could, Kami, do I wish it! It's just this…thing comes over me whenever I'm near…whenever I look at or hear your sister. It's been like that for years, and lately…it's been getting worse by the month…"

"What is it?" Kachu asked, "Do you become possessed, like with that Oni?"

He shook his head, "I wish it was that simple. Actually I guess maybe it's just shyness screwing me over…"

"Shyness?" she repeated the word, frowning in confusion.

"Sure…you know what shy means?" he asked.

"No," she replied, then frowned, "I think the word you are intending to use implies a kind of fear and avoidance, but I do not see how you can be afraid of someone who is not a warrior, like my sister."

Tofu allowed himself a moment to absorb the implications of her words-that the word shy was not in her vocabulary-then he belatedly said, "Oh?"

Kachu misunderstood his reply and said, "Is there some other kind of menace that she possesses, the kind that would make you cringe like a weak male in front of his mother?"

"Uh, no," Tofu said, "Kasumi's…not a menace to me. That isn't the reason I behave like I do around her."

"Then enlighten me," Kachu requested.

Tofu released a sigh that contained more of the weight that lay across his shoulders than he had imagined. This was not going to be easy…

"All right," he said, "I guess you deserve to know the full story. You see…I learned my basic craft of medicine from my father, and he learned the basics of his craft from his father. In fact there have been Tofus practicing medicine back for many generations, so even when I was a little boy I knew that I would grow up to be a doctor."

Kachu nodded, "It is good to be part of such an illustrious ancestry, but what does this…?"

"I'm getting to that part," he pleaded her to patience, "Twelve years ago I first hung out my shingle in this very office and it looked to me like I would be enjoying a nice, quiet time as a family physician taking care of the needs of ordinary people living in this prefecture. I was twenty six years old, a young man with bright prospects, and first among my many regular clients were the Tendos, beginning with their father, Soun, and his lovely wife, Kimiko."

Kachu lifted an eyebrow as she heard the name of her father and the woman who was said to resemble her mother. She said nothing but her curiosity began to increase as she sensed a possible revelation to the other-until now unknown-half of her bloodline.

Tofu smiled as his own memories began to surface, "You should have seen them back then. Soun Tendo was a pleasant sort of man who seemed to enjoy his life so very much, and the center of his world was his wife and their three children. Kimiko…now there was a rare flower of womanhood who could change her moods with the time of day, one minute all smiles and compliments, the next a real hellcat with a temper you wouldn't want to run afoul of. It could seem at first like Soun was a hen-pecked husband who did everything he could to stay on his wife's good side, but then you could see that the love went both ways in their household and that he was as much the center of her world as she was the sun about which he would orbit…." There was a long pause before he began again, and when he did his tone was heavy with remorse, "That made it one of the hardest days for me when I first diagnosed that there was something wrong with her. I had to refer her to a friend I knew to confirm my diagnosis, and then they ran the tests at the hospital and came back with a positive on her biopsy. Cervical Cancer. Soun was crushed, and his family…his family started to fall apart even before Kimiko was admitted on an emergency basis."

Tofu removed his glasses, nominally to wipe them with a silken kerchief, but then he dabbed at his own eyes, which were full of tears, and it took some effort for him to continue, "I keep asking myself if I could have made that diagnosis just a couple years sooner. I'd been treating Kimiko-san for three years before I noticed anything wrong with her. At first she simply complained about little things that no one took to be the early symptoms, but I should have known at once, and if she had confided in me sooner… I was trained to detect those signs…" he paused again before he said, "In the back of my mind I've always somehow believed that I had failed her."

"But…" Kachu said with surprising softness, "You didn't know…how could you? Even the Elders cannot cure every affliction."

"You never know unless you try," Tofu said quietly, then forced himself to continue, "But you know what the really sad thing is? Kimiko-san spoke to me before she passed away, while she was still lucid enough to speak. She asked me to look after her family for her, to do all that I could to see that they were cared for and had competent medical attention. I promised her that I would always be there to take care of her husband and children…and then she was gone. But what could I do to make up for her loss? Very little as it turned out. I could offer a sympathetic voice to her husband, but I was younger than him and it almost felt like I was trying to offer advice to my own father. No, it fell upon someone else to pull the family back together, someone who turned out to be a lot more suited to the task than me. Kasumi, all of ten years of age yet somehow so much older and wiser in spirit. Even before her mother began therapy it was Kasumi who took up the burden of cooking and cleaning around the house and doing all the little tasks that she had originally learned from her mother."

"My sister did this?" Kachu asked, never having actually heard this story in the limited time that she had been in Nerima, and thus surprised beyond her powers of expression to think that one young girl would take on the responsibilities of an elder.

Tofu nodded his head, "Your sister is quite a remarkable young girl, and it was about this time that I first began to take notice of her as something other than a patient. She had such a pleasant smile, and she was so kind towards everyone, and so patient even when dealing with her sisters, who were always getting into fights…especially Akane," he softly chuckled, "I thought she was pretty remarkable, but over time I started to more and more see how remarkable she truly is. Her father…he had all but gone to pieces when his wife died. He stopped taking in students for the dojo, stopped training mostly, except for Akane. She became his only student after a while when Nabiki stopped training with her. Kasumi had already given up practicing the martial arts to devote her time completely to housework. If not for her I'm pretty certain that the family would not have survived the death of Kimiko."

Kachu sat silent as she reflected on this, wondering how she would have coped if she had a father and two younger sisters to care for. Her mother had only been a sporadic part of her life in between their different training cycles, when Kachu had gone on to live with her mentor in Devil Hunting, so it was not that hard to imagine living her life without her. Of course that was always with the knowledge that her mother was alive somewhere, even when they were living apart and would sometimes not even see each other for many weeks. To go on knowing her mother was no more...that would have been much harder! Kachu realized that she would have felt the absence on a much more fundamental level. To go on in the light of that…and with her pathetic skills as a housekeeper…she simply could not imagine!

"Anyway," Tofu resumed, "I got to watch Kasumi and the others grow from little girls to young women over the next nine years time, and it was always a fascinating experience. Nabiki barely ever came around, didn't get into that many accidents or fights and actually seems to have been avoiding my clinic because of what it represents. She's always friendly towards me, but I don't think she's all that comfortable around doctors. Neither is Akane, for the most part, though she seems to turn up on my doorstep about ten times more frequently than both of her two sisters put together. In Akane I see a lot of her mother, and she's actually quite cute when she smiles at you and apologizes for getting into yet another brawl. She's quite the tomboy, you know, and while I don't think she'd care to admit it, I think she's actually flattered that so many boys in the past have wanted to date her."

"She is a strong fighter?" Kachu asked him, understanding on that level while her youngest sister would be popular with the males of this large village.

"Pretty strong," Tofu acknowledged with a smile, "But I guess she's got some competition in that department now that Shampoo is here, to say nothing of a certain redhead who involuntarily switches genders."

Kachu nodded to that, "Shampoo is very formidable, so I can see that my sister would find her an interesting challenge."

"More than challenging," Tofu said, "The Xi Fang Giao incident pretty much cinched the fact that Shampoo is the more formidable fighter."

"What?" Kachu's eyes widened, "Shampoo used the Xi Fang Giao on my sister?"

"Akane challenged her to a fight and lost," Tofu waved his hands, "I don't think she intended any harm, she just selectively blocked Akane's memories regarding Ranma, when she mistook her for a rival, which seems odd in a way since those two never really seem to get along all that well. Too much alike, I guess, but there was a lot of fuss about getting her to remember. Eventually Akane broke the Xi Fang Giao with the help of her boyfriend, Ryoga."

"She…broke the Xi Fang Giao?" Kachu was stunned. Only one other person in Amazon legend was said to have overcome the technique, and for an outsider female to accomplish this…she mentally made a note to study her younger sister in more detail!

"Anyway," Tofu resumed again with a sigh, "While Akane seems to be the most recurring patient, and Nabiki hardly ever visits me at all, Kasumi is someone who has come by my clinic quite frequently, usually to offer me something she's baked with her own hands, or to talk with me about things she's interested in. In between going to school she's stopped by most often to borrow books from me or just to…talk a little."

"You talked?" Kachu eyed him skeptically, remembering his earlier performance.

"Well…I could talk to her in those days…sort of," he amended lamely, "In fact I was able to help her learn Chinese so that she could read some of my books, which are printed in your language. But as she got older…well…I started to more than notice that she was…kind of cute. In fact, it was about the time when she…when she…ah…when she…"

"When she what?" Kachu's eyes narrowed.

"Um…" Tofu glanced down and forced the words out of his mouth, "She…started to physically go through those changes that mark the transition point between pre-and-post adolescence…"

"You mean when she became a woman," Kachu summarized, only to have her eyes go very round as she started to add things up, "Oh?"

Tofu nodded his head emphatically and said, "I…I don't know what started to come over me…but when she…started to bleed…down there…it wasn't like she was a little girl any more. In fact…she wasn't so little after a while…and…and I started to notice that she wasn't just cute…she was beautiful…"

"You were interested," Kachu said in a level tone of voice, uncertain how to take this.

Tofu glanced up at the darkened ceiling, "I don't know why, but I found it harder and harder to concentrate in her presence, and every time she would show up I'd get this overwhelming urge to dance with Betty-chan…"

"Betty-chan?" Kachu blinked.

"My skeleton," Tofu nodded to his office, "It's…kind of a personal thing. Don't ask."

"A skeleton," Kachu recalled the bony corpse that was hanging from a wire and felt a desire to shudder at the morbidity of it all. Were these Japanese such barbarians that they would hang their ancestors' bones out for all to see? She never realized before that doctors could be so…perverted…

"It originally belonged to my father," Tofu hastily added, "I used to play with her when I was a kid. I studied anatomy by memorizing the names of all the bones that she was composed of and comparing it with my father's charts on Shiatsu Nerve points. She's kind of like an old family friend, or a pet, or something…" he cleared his throat and continued, "Well, anyway, it seemed a lot better to dance with her than to dance with…Kasumi."

"A skeleton is better than a live woman?" Kachu asked him.

"Of course not!" he protested, "It's just…I'm so much older than she is. I mean, once she turned eighteen and was a woman, then it would be all right, but not when she was…thirteen, fourteen, fifteen…well, at sixteen I could have married her, but…"

"But what?" Kachu asked.

Tofu swallowed, "I could never get the words out right, and her family needed her. I couldn't exactly take her away from her home until her sisters were old enough to look after themselves, and her father…I couldn't deprive him of the best part of his wife, not to marry an old guy who was more than twice her age…"

"You're twice her age now," Kachu noted, then blinked when she realized that the exact same logic applied to her as she was only a few months older than Kasumi.

"I know, and you'd think I could act like it," Tofu sighed, "But no matter how hard I try I can never get control over myself, and just the mention of her name sometimes sends me off into fits and shivers. I don't know why she affects me like that…I mean, what kind of a relationship can two people have if one of us is always acting like a love-sick puppy?"

"But the fact is that you do love her," Kachu frowned, then after a few seconds added, "But not me."

"Ah…um," Tofu hesitated, "I…I think you're pretty special, Kachu. I…I don't know you that well but…I think that we could be friends…

"Don't bother to sweet-talk me," Kachu said in a low growl, "The truth is that you did not seek to marry me, just as I did not seek to have you for a husband. It's my sister you were interested in all along, and I just happen to look like her. I'm surprised you can even talk to me in a level voice without stammering all the time..."

"Ah…" Tofu looked down, "Well…you are different from Kasumi…"

"Oh yes," Kachu said, "Everyone seems to admire her. She can cook and clean as well as any man in my village, am I right? I'm the one who's considered too dangerous to even let loose near a stake-knife, let alone a pair of chopsticks! I'm no one's ideal of a bride, but at least I'm competent at something other than insults!"

"Ah…excuse me?" he blinked, wondering what he had done to insult her this time.

"I never expected you to want or even care for me," Kachu continued, only now Tofu sensed that her anger was not being directed at him so much as another, "No one else ever did in my village! Even my mother considers me an embarrassment, but a Hunter of the Dark is used to being an outsider. I don't need anyone to look after me, and I certain don't need a man to worship and adore me!"

"Um…Kachu-chan?" Tofu felt more and more confused, seeing her get up and stand almost at rigid battle readiness.

"You want my sister, you can have her!" Kachu growled, "I don't need you, I don't need anybody! I think this whole idea of a marriage between us is insane! The Elders can't possibly believe that two people as completely different as us could ever hope to live together, let alone make a family…"

"Kachu-chan?" Tofu tried again, sensing the conflict building up like a storm in his companion.

"The whole idea is so ridiculous!" she turned away, "You're a healer, someone who takes care of broken bodies, I'm a Devil Hunter who fights those things that prey upon the mind and spirit and I…and I like being alone! I'm used to it, I don't need anyone else needing me…like that…"

"Kachu-chan," Tofu tried again, sensing her momentary tirade was at last spending its wrath.

"What?" she replied miserably, not even looking in his direction.

Tofu rose to his feet fluidly and replied, "I don't need an ideal wife. I could have that if I married Kasumi, but…I think you're special too. Please don't say these things since they obviously hurt you."

"W-what?" she asked, half-turning back to regard him.

Tofu reached out a hand and touched her arm, carefully in case she took the gesture badly, and gently turned her around to face him.

"You're as beautiful as Kasumi," Tofu said, glancing down and realizing for the first time that she was still wearing the dress he'd bought her, "And you look good just like you are. You may be different in a lot of other ways, but you share something basic, something special that's unique only to you both."

"Which is?' she asked him tensely.

"You have the same heart," he smiled, "The same father, just different mothers, but in a lot of ways you remind me of Kimiko-san. In fact you're a lot more like she was than Kasumi has ever been. I'm sorry if we got off on the wrong foot, but…I think we could be friends, if you want."

"Friends?" she asked softly.

"Or…whatever," Tofu wondered what he had been about to say. He was losing himself in the softly reflected light in her brown eyes. It belatedly occurred to him that he had never been this close to Kasumi herself, let alone been able to touch her without turning into a mindless, quivering mound of babbling Jell-O…

"Ah…" he said after a full minute in which nothing particularly significant was said or happened.

Kachu was very still, unable to do or say anything, possessed by a feeling unlike anything that she had ever experienced before. She was looking up into the eyes of a man who was, in so many senses of the word, her near-total opposite, and yet she felt conflicting emotions of happiness and torment.

Tofu knew he should say something or do something at that moment, but he was held in place by his own strange feelings of peace and uncertainty, not knowing which way to turn in order to make the moment more right than it already was. They had crossed some kind of a threshold together, and where this could lead neither of them had any idea, only that they were not in any great hurry…

The night was still young, after all, and each had so many questions that needed answering, only to find the right words were impossible. The moment was left to simple feelings, and in that they found their answers without hardly any effort…

Nabiki had been surprised when Ranma brought them to an alley behind the restaurant rather than to the front door, as she had more-or-less anticipated. She was even more surprised when he dug around behind a pile of trash and produced a knapsack similar to the one he had used while on the road for so many seasons.

"Here we are," he said with a haughty display of the proffered item, as if expecting his iinazuke to be impressed with his accomplishment.

"Here we are…what?" Nabiki asked, looking at her fiancé as though trying to classify him by genus and species.

In answer Ranma opened the pack and pulled out several items of apparel, passing a few over to Nabiki, who held them up to the light and discovered-to her amazement-that she was holding a silken kimono!

"N-Nani?" she gasped, seeing that Ranma was fishing out other robes that seemed more suited to the male gender.

"Didn't think I could plan this far ahead, huh?" he grinned, "I know these places got a fancy dress code, and they won't let us in if we look like a couple of High Schoolers. With these on we can at least pass ourselves off as the swanky types they'd only let into this kind of restaurant."

"But…" Nabiki finally managed to say after several long seconds of utter confusion, "How did you know that Ukyo would be taking Shampoo here or all places?"

"Easy," Ranma replied with a smug look, "I asked him and he told me."

There was another long, drawn-out pause, then Nabiki smiled at him and said, "So, when did you get to be so smart and sneaky?"

"Since I've been hanging with you," he answered with good-natured teasing, "C'mon, put yours on. I'll help you with the tough bits. Kasumi showed me how to do it."

"Ah…" Nabiki glanced around, "Change where?"

"Uh…" Ranma blinked. He hadn't really thought of that part, but now that he did he felt…more than a little awkward, "Um…maybe in that corner where it's dry? I'll…um…make sure nobody sees you."

Nabiki flashed him a wry look and said, "Not even you, Ranma-kun?"

"Hah?" Ranma blinked his eyes, then swallowed the lump and replied, "Uh…maybe later? After all, if I look…um…who'll be paying any attention if there's trouble?"

He fervently hoped that the light was not good enough that she could make out the way his cheeks were flushing. The way Nabiki sauntered by him with an exaggerated wiggle to her hips hardly helped him maintain his composure, and without willing himself to he found his eyes tracked her movements. Nabiki saw him looking at her as she began to undress, then appeared to ignore him altogether while Ranma forgot his own words and momentarily forgot to pay attention to his surroundings.

He did not see the figure overhead that leaped on top of the restaurant for it was just outside of the range of his normal perceptions of danger. He could only see Nabiki's body vaguely outlined half in shadow, too indistinct to make out in full detail, but vivid enough through his memories that he felt a lump form in his throat as a bulge in his trousers made him want to double over.

"Aren't you getting dressed, Ranma-kun?" she asked after she was most of the way towards completing her outfit.

"Ah…" Ranma finally broke out of his daze, recalling himself to his original plan, and without wasting any more time he began changing out of his Chinese clothes and into his new outfit, tying on his robes and hastily fixing the belt in place while exchanging his slippers for a pair of wooden sandals.

Five minutes later they emerged together from the alley way with disguises complete. Ranma had adopted a pair of tinted sunglasses and began swaggering and carrying himself in an entirely different way. Nabiki eyed him with clear puzzlement as he took her by the arm and walked up into the restaurant, confronting the head waiter at once with a bellicose attitude that suggested a man who had drunk a little too much but was still fit to party.

"Yoi!" he hailed the well-dressed man, "Table for two, my good man! And bring us your best!"

"Sir?" the headwaiter asked the word as if it were a question, only to see the three thousand-yen note that Ranma waved under his nose with almost hypnotic fascination. It disappeared so fast that Nabiki almost suspected the man of practicing his own form of martial arts maneuvering, and his entire attitude at once became polite, eager and deferential, "Right this way, sir, a table is already prepared for you and your lovely companion."

Nabiki controlled her urge to blink, then caught a wink from out of the corner of her eye and realized that Ranma had indeed been preparing himself for this evening. She went along with his lead, all the while wondering if her iinazuke had been replaced by one of the pod people…

Meanwhile two figures crept along the edge of the alley that had been vacated by Nabiki and Ranma. Passing by the folded up nap-sack that now contained discarded clothing, Akane wrinkled her nose in disgust and grumbled, "That Ranma is such a pervert! Imagine, dressing himself in front of my sister, and making her undress in front of him!"

"That's a bad thing?" Ryoga asked in some confusion.

"Never mind!" Akane said in a huff as she turned resolutely towards the end of the alley way, and from there turned the corner and found the back exit, "Now all we've got to do is get inside there and find a way to mingle with the crowd, then we can find out what that Shampoo is up to!"

"You think going in through the back door is such a good idea?" Ryoga asked, "Someone's bound to see us."

"Oh?" she sniffed, "And you have a better idea?"

Ryoga did not like the way she had phrased that, almost like it was a challenge. He forced himself to turn away and walked calmly up to the nearest section of wall some ten feet from the back door. Staring at it he allowed all his pent-up feelings of hurt, anger and frustration to be vented all at once as he stabbed a finger forward and cried, "Bakusai Tenketsu!"

Akane jumped back in alarm as the wall in front of Ryoga exploded, leaving a hole big enough for a panda to walk through. She overcame her surprise and cried out, "Baka! And you think they won't notice that?"

"I don't know," Ryoga said as he walked in through the hole he had just created, "It's kind of dark in here…I think we found a closet."

"Huh?" Akane responded, following him through the gap and finding that they were, indeed, inside a small enclosed place. She pushed her way past Ryoga and found a wall switch, flicking it on and discovered at once what was contained within the closet.

"All right!" she cried in delight, "Way to go, Ryoga-kun!"

"Huh?" Ryoga was not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, but he was surprised at how quickly Akane had shifted from anger to gratitude, then he turned and saw the uniforms hanging from one wall and began to follow her reason.

"With this we can pass ourselves off as employees!" she declared, then whirled about as the door to the closet flew open and someone dressed in a chef's hat was staring at them, then past them in growing confusion.

"<What in the name of all my ancestors?>" he declared in Cantonese.

"Huh" Akane asked in non-comprehension.

"<We're sorry,>" Ryoga replied, "<Please don't be upset with our appearance.>"

"You understood him?" Akane blinked, then mentally kicked herself at forgetting that Ryoga knew Chinese, so she hastily said, "Don't tell him how it happened, say it was an accident!"

"Accident?" the chef declared in disbelief, "What accident? How did that wall get busted!"

"It was easy," Ryoga said, "And please forgive me."

"Forgive…?" the man started to say when he found the lost boy's fist making a very accurate trajectory to his face, and then all he saw was a lot of stars and pinwheels, as if he were experiencing an early Chinese New Year.

"Well," Akane said as she caught the unconscious man before he could hit the floor, "That wasn't subtle, but I guess beggars can't be choosers."

"I hated to do that," Ryoga said with obvious distaste, "A martial artist should never lower herself to picking on those who are weaker than he is."

"Look, you already apologized," Akane reassured her companion, "So we'd better hurry before any of his friends come looking for him."

"Right," Ryoga said as he picked up the body, "I'll put him next to the other guy and we can get started."

"Right," Akane said as she started to slip on one of the bus-boy outfits (the waitress costumes were much too skimpy for her liking) only to halt in her tracks once again as she did a double-take, "What other guy?"

"Uh…" Ryoga pointed to one corner, "The one who's all tied up in his underwear."

Akane stood quite motionless as she saw the second unconscious body, then she shrugged her shoulders and said, "Well, we didn't do that, so let's hurry up and get out of here!"

Two minutes later they emerged from the closet in their disguises, only to be confronted by another of the cooks who said, "There you are, Wang. Did you find out what made that awful-hey, you're not Wang!"

"Uh, no," Akane gave a feeble smile, "He's not. He just started today, and so did I."

"Huh?" he blinked as he looked the both of them over, then shrugged his shoulders, "I guess that Wang just wanted an excuse to take some time off to hit the sake. <Lazy bastard.>"

"<I'm sure he's not doing anything that dishonorable,>" Ryoga replied.

"Oh no?" the chef eyed Ryoga with surprise, then dismissed the irregularity of seeing a bus boy wearing a tiger-striped bandana, "Shows how well you know him. Believe me, when you're parents are a couple of comedians who give you a name like Long Wang, you're capable of anything. I'm Hung Wel, by the way, so don't go making any smart-ass jokes about it, you got that?"

"Uh…right," Akane said, wincing.

"It's nice to meet you, sir," Ryoga began to say when Akane took him by the arm and all but dragged him off towards the kitchen.

Hung Wel watched the two of them go then shook his head and said, "<They're hiring them younger every year, but at least the girl was hired to bus tables. She just doesn't have the figure to be a proper waitress…>"

Nabiki's Journal Resumes:

All right, so maybe it's not fair to compare Ranma to a pod person, but the guy I was with today sure looked, talked, and acted a lot like my iinazuke, only a whole lot smarter than I'd ever given him credit. I watched him go into his act flashing money to the maitr'd, acting like he had money to burn, and all the while I'm wincing at the amount of cash he's throwing around. To top it off he was openly flirting with the waitresses and I had to seriously curb my natural impulse to give him a sharp kick under the table for acting like such a baka.

But once we were alone to ourselves once again he just flashed that cocky smile at me and said, "Relax, Nabiki, it's all part of my plan. Ya gotta act the part if you wanna be a player."

"Part?" I asked him, "Are you auditioning for a school play something?"

"Naw," he waved a dismissive hand, "But there was this guy I once knew…a real cool, swank dude who could really talk his way into places like this and everybody treated him like he was royalty 'cause he was into making movies…"

"Uhuh," I replied skeptically, "And where was this?"

"Hong Kong," he replied, "Pop and I were touring through there on our way back from the mainland, keeping one step ahead of Shampoo, trying to scrape enough cash together to guy a ticket back to Japan so's we wouldn't have to swim back the same way we'd come in the first place."

I briefly reflected on that. Even after all I'd been through with Ranma I still found it hard to accept that he and his father could have swum across the Sea of Japan! I tried not to sound sarcastic as I replied, "Well, if you were being chased by an angry Amazon, I think I might have chanced it in your place."

He sniffed at that and said, "Yeah, just about. Sure would have been a lot less embarrassing that what did happen."

"Which was?" I asked casually and saw him tense by a fraction.

"Ah…well," he winced, "Like I said, I met this guy while I was in China and…"

"And you were in your cursed half?" I asked him, then saw the telltale signs that I'd just scored a bullseye.

"Yeah," he sighed, "Look, I was hungry and lost and the old man had run off, as usual, rather than face up to something that he did, so I wound up sitting on a curb feeling miserable when this car pulls up and I think maybe it's a cop and I'm in trouble…"

"Go on," I urged, sensing yet another one of "Ranma's Most Embarrassing Moments" in the works.

"Okay," he sighed, "So this guy pulls up and it's not a cop, only he ain't driving the car neither. Turns out it's this movie star guy I told you about, and he's mistaken me for a…um…"

"A cute chick?" I offered for him.

"Yeah," he winced again, "That's what he thought. Okay, I looked like a girl but I wasn't about to be mistaken for one, so I was gonna refuse him, only he offered to buy me dinner…"

"And you were absolutely starving," I resumed.

"Yeah, that's about it," he looked at me over the rim of his sun glasses and for a moment I couldn't tell if he were being serious or facetious as he asked me if he'd already told me this one before. When I said no he resumed, "Okay, I tell him I'm not hungry, only my stomach goes and calls me a liar, so I give in and let him buy me dinner, but I tell him, 'No way' to any funny stuff he might try later. I didn't really know what he'd try and do, but I'd had some funny encounters with guys before this, so I wanted to set him straight about that before things got too far. So I'm watching him carefully as he tells the driver to take us to this swank place near the warfs, and he goes into this Money-Man act like he's trying to impress me or something…pretty much word-for-word what I just did to get us into this place."

"You mean you studied his moves and copied them like any other kind of technique?" I asked him dryly, realizing that this made sense in a way, though I had to admit that I'd thought he'd exaggerated his behavior a little.

"Yeah, that's it all right," he sighed, "At the time I thought he was some kind of a creep, but I figured I could take him if he tried anything sudden with me. I mean, girls don't really get impressed by guys who behave like that, do they?"

"Some girls do," I admitted, confiding to myself that seeing a man flash money in my presence would have been a pretty powerful inducement to go along with his ploy, even if I'm not as good at fending off a potential 'date rape' as Ranma. I usually get my way around guys without having to resort to any of the rough stuff.

"So, how'd your date end?" I asked and was rewarded by seeing him flash a really annoyed look in my direction.

"It wasn't a date, all right?" he growled, "I just had a meal that he paid for, and when he tried to get something started I made sure he knew it wasn't gonna happen. Funny thing is he actually seemed to be a pretty good sport about the whole thing, didn't get angry with me or nothing. He asked if I knew some martial arts and I admitted that I had and he gave me this card and said if I wanted to earn some honest money I could show up at the lot to his latest movie."

"And did you?" I asked with surprise, wondering just who this was who had paid for a meal and not gotten upset at having his advances rebuffed. After all, Ranma is pretty "hot" in his female form, and I'm sure the vast majority of guys would never think twice about an offer to screw her.

"I thought about it," Ranma said, "Then decided I pretty much didn't have anything else lined up for the next day, so I showed up in my guy form and said I was there to check out the place. Turns out the guy I ate dinner with was a pretty cool dude once you sobered him up and gave him a hot bath. Once I figured the place was on the level I hid out back behind the studio and changed into my cursed self, then I tested for the part as Stunt Double for the heroine, and got a few quick pointers about movie combat, which I'd always thought was fake and never took serious as an art form."

"You were a stunt-woman?" I think I blinked at that.

"Yep," he smiled, "Made some pretty good money for one day's light work. The hardest part was trying not to hurt any of the other guys as I did what the director told me. They gave me a check and I asked 'em where to cash it, and no sooner were the words out of my mouth than the Old Man showed up to claim the money I'd earned! I had to ride hard on him to see that he didn't spend it on something useless. I insisted we needed boat tickets and that was it, and that's how we avoided having to fight off the sharks on our way back home to Japan. Neat, huh?"

I think I was honestly impressed with his resourcefulness because I let that smug crack of his slip by without one of my usual sarcastic rejoinders. Instead I smiled then looked past him towards the table where Ukyo and Shampoo were sitting and said, "Well, I just hope your clever little ploy works out, because we need to get closer if we're going to overhear what those two are talking about."

"I don't see how we can," Ranma said without glancing over his shoulder, using the menu to partially conceal his face as he eyed them sideling, "Ucchan might spot us, and I don't want Shampoo to think that we don't trust her or nothing."

I began to smile as a plan started to form in my own mind, and I really must have been patting myself on the back over how clever I was being or else I would have noticed the waiter come up to our table and ask for our orders. I was kind of startled to find him there, then I looked up at this Mandarin in a red coat glaring down his nose at us as though he were deciding if he should call a bus boy to clean us up off our table.

"Your orders, Sir and Ma'am?" he asked in precisely worded Japanese, the kind that's so perfectly pronounced that you know he has to be a foreigner instead of a native.

"Sure thing," Ranma said, going back into his foppish mode of behavior, making a show of looking over his menu, "I'll have whatever's good tonight, and so will the lady."

I had to smile at his act, because it was perfect blend of his usual laid-back style and that of a guy who didn't really care that much about how expensive everything was. I'd already taken a good hard look at the prices and nearly had a coronary. I didn't want to undermine his efforts by ordering something cheap, so I selected an item at random and tried to sound like a much older woman might do in the company of a rich teen idol.

If I'd really been paying attention, though, I would have noticed other people circulating around us, most especially a certain pair who stood out like sore thumbs in that place, or the other clown who was hanging in the background about to make trouble for all concerned parties…

Akane glanced around at the kitchen staff, amazed to see the speed with which the chefs were preparing all the food, the skills with which they chopped things, stuffed things, added other stuff to things she could hardly even identify and generally milled about as if they were preparing for a battle as well as a meal. She'd never realized before that cooking could look so energetic!

Of course in the few seconds that it had taken her to realize that she had inadvertently let Ryoga wander off by himself, a fact brought home to her when she heard a loud clattering and crash come tumbling down from a nearby storage locker.

"Ryoga!" she growled as she caught up with the aptly named lost boy, who smiled sheepishly up at her from beneath a pile of pots, pans, crockery and other sorts of dishware, "What are you doing?"

"Uh…I was trying to find the way to the lobby?" he responded lamely.

"Let me do that!" she declared when a sudden combat reflex informed her of the shadow that was looming up behind her, "Oh crap…"

"What is the meaning of this?" demanded yet another white-suited individual in a large chef's hat, his mustache giving him a very Fu Manchu-like appearance.

"Ah…sorry about that," Akane winced as she looked up at the taller man, feeling almost like she was encountering the Chinese equivalent of her own father, only much, much sterner looking, "My friend had a little accident, but he's all right and there doesn't seem to be anything broken…"

"There had better not be," the man growled, "Or it's coming out of your salary, and the two of you will be doing dishes until you chap the hands of your ancestors!"

"Eep," Akane winced and added a very mild, "Yessir."

The man frowned even more and took a harder look at her, "You seem a little young to be working in my restaurant. Who hired you anyway?"

"Ah," Akane glanced at Ryoga, who had managed to free himself from the pile of dishware but looked even more unsure of himself than she was, "He…ah…said his name was Hung Wel…"

"Oh," the tall man snorted, "I might have known. My brother never did have much of an eye for good, talented employees."

"Your brother?" Ryoga asked him.

"Little brother, actually," the tall man folded his arms and added, "I'm Hung Lo, the Head Chef of this restaurant, and the one guy you don't want to get on his bad side."

"Hung…Lo?" Akane wondered if she should wait until later or save time and start screaming.

"Uh, excuse me for asking," Ryoga said, "But who exactly owns this place?'

"Enormous Genitals," Hung Lo shrugged, "He's my cousin."

"O-kay," Akane was certain the man was pulling their legs, but just in case decided it was a good time to take a powder, "I guess, if it's all right with you, that we'll get right back to work…"

"Damn right you will, kid," Hung Lo replied, "There are tables out there to bus, so the two of you had better start bussing…NOW!"

Both Akane and Ryoga jumped at that, and were all but chased out of the kitchen. Once they had vanished from his sight Hung Lo gave a snort and said, "Kids these days…no respect for traditions."

He failed to notice the gleam that was reflected off the glasses of the man standing behind him in a borrowed waiters uniform, a tall fellow who was pushing a seemingly innocent cart to the dining area, and whose ideas of ancient traditions was of a very different order than any of which the Head Chef would have recognized or approved…

Nabiki's Journal Resumes:

It seemed to me that sneaking up on Ukyo and Shampoo was out of the question, and as long as we remained where we were there was less chance of being spotted. We were too far to be within earshot, and if we continued staring at them we were bound to draw unwanted attention. It seemed to me that all the conventional routes towards spying on the odd "couple" were dead ends and bound to defeat our whole purpose for being in that restaurant. However I had begun to develop a heightened sensitivity for alternate ways of perceiving things, so I decided that it was a good enough time to put my limited training into some kind of practice.

"Ranma-kun," I smiled, "What do you think Ukyo and Shampoo are discussing?"

"I dunno," he shrugged, giving a side-glance out of the corner of his eye before looking away again, "It looks like they're discussing some personal stuff. I sure hope Shampoo isn't falling for any fancy lines or bull-crap."

"I thought you said you trusted Ukyo," I pointed out.

"I do trust him," Ranma said defensively, then wavered a bit as he added, "Sort of…"

I smiled and said, "Give me a moment, I want to try something."

I closed my eyes and allowed myself to relax a little, feeling my surroundings as the hubbub of sound from dozens of voices murmuring softly in low conversation rolled over my consciousness. I did as the old woman had directed me in the mountains and allowed most of those voices to wash over me, then cease to be of any real importance. There was only one set of voices that I was interested in, and with surprising ease I found my ears perking up as I started to take in the sounds of Ukyo and Shampoo, so very distinguishable when contrasted with the other voices all around us.

And then I heard the words being uttered by Kuonji, "So…who was she?"

"You mean like girl you date?" came Shampoo's sharp reply, directed with more force and anger than I would have expected from the Chinese Amazon. I belatedly realized that Shampoo was referring to the girl briefly mentioned in my conversation with Ukyo back in the Nekohanten.

"Uh…you heard about that, huh?" Ukyo asked with evident reluctance.

"Ears like cat," I heard Shampoo say by way of explanation, but then her tone changed completely to one of sadness and she added softly, "Her name…was Lo-Xion."

"What, you mean the old woman?" Ukyo's stunned disbelief mirrored my own surprised reaction.

"Not Elder Lotion," Shampoo growled back, "Shampoo love was great-granddaughter of Elder, Lotion the Younger. She was…same age as Shampoo…" and then her voice caught and I felt my heart clench suddenly at the note of grief and longing.

"Nabiki?" I heard Ranma say.

My eyes flew open and I looked at him in astonishment, then I turned to look directly at the table where Ukyo and Shampoo were actually seated. I had just caught a snatch of something intimate that I had not previously been aware of regarding our Chinese fiancée, but more to the point I had detected something else, something even more alarming.

A sense of immanent danger!

It took only seconds to pick out the hauntingly familiar profile of a Chinese boy I had met before, but by that time he had already advanced upon their table and was holding up a weapon that he was poised to unleash upon them. It took only an instant to perceive what the object was, and then for a moment more I was caught by surprise at discovering that it was nothing less than…

A common pail of water?

"Saotome, you swine!" Mousse cried as he drew back with the bucket, then started to bring it forward.

"Saotome?" I gasped, as I'm pretty sure my reply was echoed by Ukyo, Shampoo and even Ranma…

Continued

Comments/Criticisms/Critical Junctures in the Plot: Shadowmane@msn.com