Ah My Goddess Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ A Tale of Two Wallets ❯ A Tearful Confession ( Chapter 61 )

A Tale of Two Wallets

(An Altered Destiny)

Written by Jim Robert Bader

Proofread by Shiva Barnwell

It was all so much clearer now, as if a fog had lifted from his brain permitting him to see to vast new horizons to which he had previously been blind. His mind was moving at lightning speeds to process information lodged deep within his brain, portions of which had been flaring to life with incredible vigor, considering that they had never previously seen usage.

Kuno practiced his sword strokes, just as he had done every day of his life since he had been old enough to hold a wooden bokken, five hundred perfect strokes at each of the cardinal points before working on his sword-katas until the motions were flawless and perfectly coordinated. He had performed this routine so long and well that it now went beyond effortless to that place where motions required no thought and little effort, which was a good thing in a way as before the current situation had arisen he had little thought to spare beyond the kind that he needed to keep a vegetable above the evolutionary level of common plankton.

But no more…his mind was clear for the first time that he could remember, and suddenly he knew that the last eight years of his life had been wasted upon a hellish fog that had dulled his wits while causing him to fanaticize about a world made purely of his own warped perceptions. In his dream he had been a powerful warrior, invincible and without peer, like the samurai of old who fought for noble purposes of chivalry, Bushido, and honor. It was only to the rest of the world that Kuno Tatewaki had been seen as a buffoon and an annoyance, a fact that he now knew with a clarity that was utterly galling.

His ideals had been warped and perverted, his self-concept itself a hideous funhouse mirror that had concealed the pain that underlay his existence. The suicide death of his mother had been partially responsible for driving him over the edge, but the rest of it had been the work of his meddlesome sister, Kodachi, whose own warped views of the world had caused her to believe that she was ably suited to see to her brother's medication.

That was being charitable on his part, of course, for Kuno knew well that others would claim that Kodachi was, in reality, trying to poison her brother to render him unfit for inheriting the family fortune. As if a certifiable loon such as she had been manifesting was a fit candidate to represent the Kuno name before the shareholders. They both were the real trustees of their father's wealth, and that council of fools that had been appointed to run the business during his absence had taken full advantage of the Kuno siblings' drug-induced mental distraction.

But something had changed in Kodachi, causing her to cut back on feeding her brother his ration of rose-derived "medication," and this had caused Tatewaki to experience the pangs of withdrawal until his body was cleansed of the toxins, leaving him to wonder about his life and the inconsistencies of his existence.

For one thing, why was he worshipping the photographs of one Tendo Nabiki, a young lady who clearly despised him and wanted nothing to do with his affections? His old claim that she had been under the influence of another fell flat even on his ears when he tried to make sense of his obsession. The only other man who professed an interest in Akane (if one were to discard as irrelevant the legion of so-called "admirers" who had flocked to her banner for the better part of a full semester) was that clueless idiot, Hibiki Ryoga, who while arguably a great fighter was such a lowly peasant that Kuno felt him well beneath his notice.

It was true that Tendo Akane manifested grace and charm worthy of Diana, the Roman Goddess of the Hunt, but she was also ill-tempered and high spirited like a wild and untamed creature. Kuno could admire these qualities, but he could not miss a certain erraticness in her temper that reminded him a little too much of his late mother. Akane had noble ancestry, true, but she seemed ill used to permit any man to shower her with the lavish display of affection that Kuno had attempted. That she would walk on his pride and snub him so callously was something not to be endured, but Kuno knew himself to be at fault for he had done naught but give her a wrongful impression of his character, such as could not help but spur her against him.

And then there was the other object of his misguided devotions, his "Pig Tailed Goddess," who bore the name of Saotome Ranko. Curiously enough there was a Saotome Ranma living at the Tendo house and engaged to the middle sister, the mercenary Tendo Nabiki., but no Ranko on any of the immediate family ledgers. Add to this something Kuno had witnessed himself on several occasions but had attempted to dismiss as a drug-induced hallucination, but which subsequent research had confirmed beyond denial. Now Kuno was faced with the raw facts that would have shattered his ego entirely had he not already endured far worse hardships. His hated enemy, his redheaded goddess…what would such a thing speak of a man who had behaved in a manner so unworthy of his standing?

Kuno completed his sword-strokes and turned to execute a perfect slice that sheered through two wooden posts upon which were adorned poster-sized photographs that he had paid a small fortune to have rendered. They were his twin idol-photos of Akane and Ranko, now casualties of a rage that all but consumed him in one catharitic burst of pure temper. Kuno completed his thrust and then assumed a stance from which to salute his fallen idols. As quickly as he had summoned his anger he banished it once again, allowing the emotion to flow out of him like water, savoring the emptiness within him.

Very slowly he lowered his wooden sword, then stared down at the soil without truly seeing it. In a manner of speaking he was saying goodbye to a part of himself, a self who was more shadow than substance, who had never truly been at all the man he thought himself to be. It was his childhood he was surrendering forever, a childhood torn with memories of pain and loss, yet somehow flecked with pleasant images that came unbidden, of moments when his family had been happy and together. Far too few moments since that time flowed by, were gone and discarded, leaving in their place a man who was now more truly a man than he who had stood before this. Very slowly he raised his eyes and gazed upon the coming dusk with a sense of finality, knowing that he could no longer live in the past but had to square his shoulders and life to face an uncertain future.

Then-as he had done for every knight of the past week since his memories started returning-he slowly raised his sword and once again began the kata that flowed through him like a pouring river. The motions were gradually setting into his every nerve and fiber, teaching him to fight in a way that was more truly Samurai than his prior efforts, a complex weave of dynamic motions that were becoming second nature, as if a voice were speaking into his mind and filling his heart with the need for proper retribution.

Where the voice emanated from and whose motions he was copying he did not know, for he was truly beyond caring. He only knew that he felt stronger and more alive when he performed the kata, more the warrior that he had only imagined himself to be. He knew a voice was laughing somewhere in the distance, but whose voice was a mystery that would go-for the moment-unanswered. He only knew that he would become a greater man the more that he listened to the voices, for already they had awaken in him a proper understanding of the workings of the world, and had shown him what those fools in the corporation had been doing to his father's legacy, transforming him into an instrument of righteous vengeance!

The voice was wise, the voice was good, and in time Kuno would heed the voice when it demanded its fair payment. He had a score to settle, a debt of honor to fulfill, and until the day of restitution was at hand he would bide his time and grow ever stronger. One day soon they would know the man he truly was rather than the man they thought him to be, and on that day the Blue Thunder would at last know triumph.

Saotome Ranma beware…and Hibiki Ryoga…!

Shampoo's Diary Resumes:

I felt trapped and cornered as I stood there trying to muster my thoughts into some form of coherent pattern, for what my wife had just asked me was an entirely fair question, but how to answer her and be entirely truthful? After all, I had just gotten done pouring out my heart confessing to my husband and wife my dark secret that mars me as a less than perfect warrior, my unwillingness to kill.

Killing is a part of what it means to be a warrior, the purpose for which we train so intensely. Great Grandmother's teachings had given me the knowledge of how to kill in a thousand different ways, and I could perform them with artistry and grace against, say, a tiger or a buffalo, a charging boar or any beast of prey…but against a human being? There I was at a loss, and I'm not truly certain why. Perhaps I lack a certain motivation, but I've known rage before, anger sufficient to motivate killing…why then did the act itself repel me? As I'd just told Ranma, the whole notion of killing his girl-half had been so odious that it had caused me to fail repeatedly in my efforts.

At first I had dismissed my false attempts as the work of fortune, for Ranma was certainly blessed by the gods to be able to elude me, and luck was certainly with him that great grandmother herself had resolved to leave matters in my hands rather than come along to supervise me then, as she did later. That month-long chase across the length and breadth of China would certainly have puzzled her as I was wasting too much time and drawing farther beyond the reach of our village.

Of course I had wanted to be free from the life I had been living, the constant training that had led up to the moment of formal challenge, when I proved myself superior to all the weaklings of our village. It was a moment of triumph to stand atop the challenge log and defeat Cabinet in so decisive a manner, yet flush as I was with victory there had been an emptiness there as well. After all, what do you do when you have at last achieved your life's goal?

And then I had seen her, so proud and arrogant as she ate my victory banquet. Had she waited until I had won my match I would have graciously extended the feast to all the villagers and accorded her full hospitality as a guest of my people. Instead she came in filthy, ragged, looking as if she had barely slept the night before and had not the courtesy to wait before she and her "pet" panda had dug in and started consuming the food that my people had labored for much of the year to put together.

Of course I challenged her, feeling deeply insulted, but to my surprise she challenged me back and assumed a tone that implied that I was already as good as defeated! Such arrogance, such insolence! I had to put her down for such an insult to me and all of my hard training!

More fool me, underestimating a foreign girl who was so much smaller than me that she could almost be one of my sisters! I cannot put into words the shame I felt at being so easily defeated, and yet something else awoke in me in the time it took for me to recover, a discovery that there was someone in this world who was good enough to provide me a real challenge! I also saw the perfect avenue for getting away from my village and seeing the world as my mother had, as I would never have been allowed by my great grandmother, who had always insisted I stay within the boundaries of Amazon territory, all save for that one visit we paid to the Musk Dynasty when I was much smaller than Ranma!

Giving Ranma the kiss of Death was not absolutely mandatory, no matter what else one might believe about our people. It had seldom been done in recent times, mainly because very few outsiders are good enough to have defeated an Amazon, and very few of them female. I was invoking a rule that had fallen into disuse because of my pride, but also because it gave me the excuse to chase after her, and once the kiss had been given I was of course obligated to follow her. Great Grandmother could not forbid it, and so I was free to chase her and avenge my pride, a warrior's pride as much as that of my people.

How many times did I spot Ranma's trail and give chase, only to pull back when I was within reach of my quarry? How many times did I sneak up on her when she was asleep or merely resting, sword poised in my hand yet my hand trembling with hesitation. Perhaps Ranma was only sleeping lightly, and perhaps she would spring to life and defend herself in an instant, but I did not know for certain whether this was fact or just the fears within my heart that were decrying me for a coward. I knew that I had to kill her, but I did not want to kill. Instead I would watch over her while she slept and find myself studying her profile, wondering what manner of person she truly was when she was not running or arguing with the panda.

At times I would lose her trail and feel a stab of panic touch my heart that had no reason that I could fathom. She would elude me for days before I would pick up her scent once again and then be off once more on my chase of 'holy vengeance.' I did not know at the time that she could change into a handsome man those times that she did elude me for the thought of Jusenkyo never even entered my mind while I sought her. Those times I would catch up with her I would chide myself for growing careless and nearly failing in my mission. I would spring out and attack her just to prove to myself that I had the determination, but she would escape from me with uncanny regularity. I began to truly admire her fighting skills, wondering how I had fallen so short of her superb standards.

After all I had trained all of my life to be the best warrior of the Nyanchiczu, and no one in my age group stood against me in battle. Great Grandmother is the greatest of all the Elders in all the tribes that call themselves Amazons and she had personally supervised every stage of my training. Had I failed her and myself so completely? How could Ranma be move so fast and be so agile? The way her body flowed around my most formidable attacks was like magic, or some ancient technique that I had never studied, and this was long before great grandmother had even shown Ranma the Chestnut Fist!

So my pride was doubly hurt because I knew that Ranma was better. Maybe not as knowledgeable in ancient Chinese lore as I was, but possessed of knowledge of fighting techniques that were different from anything I had even heard about! How can I convey what this made me feel like, being less than a girl my own age who was pretty and foreign and…so exciting to be around? Even while I chased her I was admiring her beauty, and it was like falling down a deep well, knowing that I was becoming infatuated with my prey. Something about her reminded me of Lotion, and that was my ultimate downfall. I knew before too long that I was falling in love with her, but I refused to listen to my heart, letting my pride rule my head. By the time I thought I knew the full story about Ranma's curse it was too late for me…too late! I had fallen into a trap of my own making with no hope of escape, a trap set by her lovely blue eyes when she looked on me that day perched atop my bonbori mace in the center of my village.

I turned to look back at my airen, my thoughts having flowed in the space of no more than a few heartbeats. They deserved to know, and know they would hear the truth. I owed them this much and more for involving them in the personal affairs of my life, and for making them love me, as I knew they did beyond question.

I turned slowly and regarded them with what I'm sure was a most uncertain expression, for though I am certain of their love I was not so confident that they would enjoy hearing the full details of my relationship with a past lover. This was going to be hard, but so many things in life are hard, and why should I turn coward now when I at last knew true happiness, even if I had confessed to them that I could not defend them as a proper wife should defend her airen.

"Aiyaa," I said, which for opening words was as best as I could manage with my stumbling, limited command of Japanese, "There is much to say on the subject of Lotion. This one does not know where she should begin, so this one will attempt to begin where it seems proper."

"We're listening," my wife replied with that studious, skeptical expression she uses when dissecting a problem.

"You don't have to say anything if it's too embarrassing for you," Ranma added, which shows just how clumsy and charitable he can be when trying to deny that he has a fierce interest in knowing.

"It is all right," I resumed, "This one will tell you about Lotion. Perhaps you know already that she is a friend whom this one grew up with in China. What you may not know, Airen, is that Lotion is one of only three friends that this one had in all her life growing up in China."

"Wait," Ranma spoke up, "Only three friends?"

I half-smiled at his statement, because I knew that was more friends than he had growing up, and Lotion meant a lot more to me than either Ryoga or Kuonji had to him at a comparable age. I decided to make it easy for him and replied, "This one has only known three friends before coming to Japan…one of them is Perfume, her adopted cousin, the second is Ambergris, who had a bad falling out with her two years ago. The third is Lotion the Younger, a girl our age who was not a true warrior, who was too clumsy and incapable of mastering any advanced techniques as a fighter, but who had a gift of healing with her mind that made her suitable for training with this one's mother. Only these three out of all the warriors in our age group has this one trusted enough to call friends, and Perfume does not really count since she is more like a training partner than a bosom companion. We know each other well, but we have never truly been as close as this one was with Ambergris, whom she truly trusted."

"Why just these three?" my wife asked in curiosity, "Nobody else you feel that close to?"

"No," I admitted, "This one never close to other girls in village. Always challenging them to fights or being challenged to test our prowess, prove which of us is the strongest. It is very hard to make friends with people you beat up all of the time, and only Ambergris or Perfume come close to being this one's equals."

"Okay," Ranma said, "So you three trained together. What about this blue haired chick?"

I decided that I would extract some satisfaction from him later for that "blue-haired chick" crack, but for now I merely said, "Lotion is a weak girl, not a strong fighter like Perfume and Amber. Many other girls pick on her because she is weak, and for that reason this one became her protector. This one did not like it when other warriors pick on weaker girls, and this one made certain they understood that there would be consequences for taking such liberties. Lotion was very grateful that this one took an interest in her welfare and would follow this one when she trained with the other girls. Perfume and this one train every day and Lotion watch us and make many comments on our training. Great Grandmother was not very pleased to have her with us all the time, but she tolerated Lotion after she was removed from the house of her mother and sent to live with her Aunt Silk…"

"Why did she do that?" Ranma asked, "I thought she was training with your mother."

"Ah…" I mentally kicked myself for skipping over a significant part of the story, and quickly sought to amend for my omission by saying, "Lotion's mother…she was not a happy woman when her daughter was declared unfit for warrior training. She took it on herself that Lotion's weakness reflected badly on her and she…expressed herself very poorly…"

"What?' I saw Ranma blink without truly understanding, but Nabiki understood at once, for her eyes narrowed to that angry gleam that I recognize as her sharp disapproval.

"You mean she beat her," she said in a very level tone of voice, "She beat her own daughter."

"WHAT???" Ranma got it that time, and I was gratified to see the outrage in his eyes matched my own feelings on the subject. It is so like him to despise seeing anyone weaker than himself be made to suffer, something we else share in common, along with our desire to be the best in our War Craft.

"Lotion's mother was judged to be suffering from what this one's mother politely termed as 'stress' and she was ordered removed from her mother's house and placed in the house of her mother's sister, who became her legal guardian. Silk was patient where Balm was not and discovered Lotion's hidden talents, bringing it to the attention of Shampoo's mother, who obtained permission to trainer her as a Healer."

"Okay," I saw Nabiki nod with her neutral expression back in place, "So she became friends with you after apprenticing with your mom…"

I should my head negatively and said, "We were already friends before this happened. In fact it was Perfume who discovered Lotion's injuries and brought it to the attention of our Elders. Perfume has very sharp senses, she can detect the slightest irregularity, such as when a person moved with a slight hesitation due to pain. Perfume understands pain very well, so she became Lotion's other protector and the three of us were close as sisters. Or maybe I should say that this one was close to Lotion and Perfume was close to Lotion, but Lotion favored this one, which is where we ran into a problem."

"A problem?" Ranma asked.

I nodded, "Perfume became very jealous of how close we were. It did not happen right away, but two years ago she got into a quarrel with this one, picking a fight because she was hurt and angry. We almost came to blows, but instead we became closer, like cousins. This was after Lotion had been intimate with this one for a year…"

"A year?" Nabiki arched her eyebrows, "You had an affair with her when you were both thirteen?"

I nodded, "It is an important time when a woman's body begins to mature, and many Amazons experiment to learn the ways of pleasure. Lotion was this one's teacher, for she opened to this one a full understanding of the joys of what it means to be a woman."

"She did?" Ranma blinked, "At thirteen?"

I had to look away as the smile came to my lips when I thought back to that day long ago, and again I tried to explain for them what it was like when I had finished practicing for the day and Perfume had gone into the woods to fetch our lunch, leaving Lotion and me to bathe in a river, then stretch out on one of the banks sunning ourselves in the nude since it was too warm to put our clothes back on and they were still drying on some bushes. I remember feeling as lazy as a cat when Lotion moved closer to me and asked if I enjoyed having her around, even though she was not a warrior. I thought she was being silly and told her that of course we enjoyed having her around, but then she got very serious and asked if I truly liked her, if we were that close as friends. I was wondering what she was going on about as I answered her positively, and the next thing I know she is leaning over me with the most peculiar expression, and before I know what she is about she gives me a kiss…a kiss like that Kiss of Life, only I was confused because we had not even been sparring!

Thinking back on that day I must have seemed as naïve to her as Ranma often is to me, but that was the start of our wonderful affair, the first time we kissed and held each other closely. We didn't do much more than roll around on the bank rubbing our bodies together, but Perfume came upon us shortly after we had begun this and I think she was actually shocked at finding us that way. I was embarrassed at the discovery, of course, but after we swore Perfume to secrecy we began to make time in each day to be alone together like that, going further and further into exploring each other's bodies until we both became adept at our love-play. Then Lotion snuck that book out of her aunt's private collection and showed it to me…and yes, that definitely did start the ideas to rolling…

I think my airen were shocked at the frankness of my admissions, so I eased back a bit and said rather lamely, "This one learned much from Lotion, and we were very happy for a year together. Then this one had that awful fight with Perfume, and Great Grandmother got angry, told us we could not spend time together any more, that she was sending Lotion onto another village and that the two of us would have to get along without her…"

I paused because my throat became too tight to speak. I felt the wretchedness of that day come over me once again as I struggled to regain some nominal control over my voice box, wanting very much for my loved ones to understand why my feelings for Lotion were so intense, yet why they should have no cause to fear her in the present. I knew in my heart that Lotion would be a part of me forever, but they were now the center of my world and any thought on what was past should have no bearing on our future.

"One year in our lives Lotion and this one were very happy together, but then came the separation, brought on in part by jealousy and misunderstanding between this one and her cousin, for Perfume wanted Lotion for herself but felt constrained because of her affliction…"

"Affliction?" Nabiki asked, and I nodded sadly.

"Perfume is a great warrior," I explained, "But…there is one flaw to her very nature that caused her to renounce her Warrior Status. She has trained to become our village Enforcer precisely because of this singular defect, which this one does not feel at liberty to share with you at this time, Airen. This one respects Perfume too much to betray her confidence, and it will be up to her to share with you the nature of her affliction."

"I don't get it," my husband frowned, "If she's got something wrong with her, then why's she your Enforcer? Doesn't that mean she's competent enough to fight?"

"Perfume is very competent," I explained, "Even good enough to give you a hard time, husband. Of course you would eventually defeat her."

"Of course," he shrugged in that way that made him seem offended that anyone would even doubt such an outcome.

I smiled at his bravado, almost wishing him to try, but the thought of Perfume's axes coming anywhere near my husband is enough to quash that idea entirely. Yes, he could defeat Perfume, but not unless he knew how to fight her, and without knowledge of her weakness she can seem pretty formidable and might even do him injury. The slightest knick to his perfect body is more than I can bear to think about, for the only time I wish to see him hurt is when he makes he angry enough to do the job myself. Of course I would be careful not to do anything permanent, and certainly nothing that would render him incapable of performing his duties to me as a husband.

"Perfume had every right to feel jealous of this one's relationship with Lotion," I resumed, "This one had no thought of her feelings, which was selfish and very thoughtless of this one, who took her cousin's for granted when her heart was with the object of our mutual affection. We three were inseparable for a time, but when Perfume could stand being excluded from our world no more she exploded in anger and nearly provoked a fight with this one that had nothing to do with training. That we were able to come to terms with our feelings and become closer friends is a testament to our long friendship, which was never as close as this one would have wanted. Had this one known at all or given thought to Perfume's feelings, then we could have worked things out and shared Lotion between us, just as this one shares her heart with Nabiki and Ranma. It would have been beautiful, except for Great Grandmother."

As I spoke those words I felt my rage return with full force, realizing for the first time just how much my Elder had interfered in my personal life and prevented me from enjoying the full depths of what the three of us might have been able to establish between ourselves if left to our own devices. True we were young and ignorant of so much of life, but at fourteen you tend to see the world as infinite and the possibilities are as far as the world's edge. Who knew whether it would work out or not, or if it would have interfered in our training the way Great Grandmother had thought or would have made us stronger fighters with loyalties forged by our deep, mutual affection.

Of course Nabiki saw the other side of the coin and looked at me in that shrewd manner she has as she asked, "You mean a threesome between you, this Lotion character and Perfume?"

I nodded affirmatively, then flashed a knowing smile that I hoped would not unduly alarm them. After all, I am not blind to my cousin's considerable charm and beauty, and the thought of sharing pleasures with her might even have been very fulfilling. I do not know, of course, because we have never explored that option, but perhaps it would have changed the nature of our friendship too much. Perfume and I have always maintained a certain distance between us at Great Grandmother's insistence. Would I have been as able to go all-out with her in practice, my bonbori against her axes, if deep down I was concerned that I might inadvertently do her injury? I guess that is, in a sense, why we have been more rivals than friends, but our respect for one another is unquestioned, our trust is absolute. I would fight against the legions of the night with Perfume at my back and never doubt her for an instant, and I know beyond question that she feels the same way. Our bonds are closer than blood-cousins, having mingled our blood in far too many battles.

"It hardly matters now," I sighed aloud, voicing my thoughts as I spoke this, "When Great Grandmother heard about our almost-fight she became very angry and sent Lotion away, nominally to be trained by a Healer in the village of the Sleeping Woman, several days travel over many hills from Joketsuzoku…"

"What's the old woman's beef with her anyway?" my husband scowled, then as he caught my amused glance he hesitated, then spoke again, "Ah…well, I mean…she used to look old…I mean, she's old deep down, right?"

"Keep trying, Ranma-kun," Nabiki quipped for us both, "You're bound to get it right sooner or later."

"Great Grandmother has always insisted that one day this one would become her heir and successor on the Council of Elders," I explained, "She has never permitted anything to interfere in that dream, and in her eyes a fight between this one and a future Enforcer was not acceptable. This one believes that she was determined that this one become used to being alone and not relying upon anyone for support, except for her. This one was taught to think for herself, but never question her orders, to be able to make difficult choices and decisions like an Elder, just so long as those decisions agreed with Great Grandmother's own choices. She has prevented this one from knowing close friendship with any other but Lotion, Perfume and Ambergris, and she even managed to spoil what was between us in the latter case, playing on this one's pride to make this one believe that Ambergris had betrayed our friendship!"

My tone was growing angrier the more I spoke, my emotions slipping loose from my control like a wild team of oxen with a shoddy yoke. I was almost shouting my words near the end of my brief tirade, balling my hands into fists as I thought of all the other times that Great Grandmother had sought to turn me against those who might have offered me their friendship. I could now see so clearly what she had done to keep me isolated and alone, and it was filling me with a desire to lash out at her physically for all these little betrayals, and the much larger deceptions that she had all this time practiced!

"Easy, Sham-chan!" I hard Nabiki's calming voice cut through the growing red haze of my anger, reminding me that I had another purpose for speaking calmly with her now, and that it would be better to save my anger for later, preferably for a time when I would have a chance of evening the score between myself and my false-Elder.

"You are right, Airen," I sighed, finding it difficult to yoke in my rage, but I did so with the skill born of long practice, "This one is sorry that she shouted."

"Whoah," Ranma said, "You were starting to glow with a battle aura for a minute there. I can't say I can blame you, though. From the sound of things your great grandmother messed with your life almost as much as Pop did with mine."

I blinked my eyes and looked at him, suddenly sensing the glimmering of something in what my husband had just said that might give me a chance of striking back at my false Elder. Great Grandmother is always very proud of her teaching methods…how much so would she be if I were to compare her to Saotome Genma and imply that his methods were obviously superior since he had produced the better fighter?

I smiled at the thought of what great grandmother would say, the expression she would wear. It was perfect!

I forced myself to become serious again, then sought to remember what was the last thought in my mind so that I could continue as though not interrupted, "Ambergris…is someone very different from Perfume, yet they are much the same because they were considered disappointments by their Elders. Perfume was born with her weakness, but Ambergris had two strikes against her, the first being the name her mother gave her. It was…a very awkward name for a child to have, and if you thought this one has had to endure jokes about hair lather, you cannot begin to comprehend what names Amber has suffered, the mildest being 'Whale Puke.'"

"I had wondered about that," Nabiki eyed me sardonically, "Also whether or not you knew what people think when they hear your name."

"This one has very good ears, Airen," I smiled, "I figured it out some time ago, I just never considered it all that important."

"Good thing," my husband sniffed, "You might've had to knock a few heads around yesterday in class. Kami-sama knows I was tempted."

I allowed my pride for him to show as I nodded, then resumed my narration, "The other problem Ambergris has always had is that she is too smart for her own good. She is…what would you call it? A worm who eats through books?"

"A Bookworm," Nabiki noted, then blinked, "You mean she's a nerd?"

"This one does not know what a Nerd is," I frowned, "Is it some form of caterpillar?"

"Never mind," my wife said a bit too hastily, "So her problem was that, in a village full of female jocks, she was the one who liked to read more than fight?"

I nodded, pleased that she understood with her usual insightfulness, "Amber had serious problems with her mother, who was not pleased that she would spend more time reading books than in training. She would train Amber mercilessly until she was ready to drop and never be satisfied with the results. In a way she trained her too hard, and it actually hindered her early development, so that many of the rest of us warriors came to think of her as clumsy and uncoordinated. We were also put off by the fact that she was plainly so much smarter than the rest of us, and she would pester the Elders mercilessly with questions. The only ones who seemed to encourage her in this were the Elders Lotion and Be-Dea. Oh yes…and this one's mother also seemed delighted to share her collection of books with Amber, and Silk, who is like everyone's favorite aunt, always encouraging us to learn things besides fighting."

"So how did you two wind up being buddies?" Ranma asked.

"This one is coming to that, Husband," I urged him to patience, "Ambergris is, as this one has said, very intelligent, and one day she realized what she was doing wrong in her training. She was trying too hard to impress her mother by doing what she wanted instead of working to perfect her own talents. She began to study the training methods that other parents used with their children, concentrating on the ones who clearly performed the best because their methods were better. Once she knew what to do she went off by herself and copied their moves, then she would approach a girl whom she admired and initiate a friendship between them. She would get close enough to learn everything she could about her then issue a challenge and use that knowledge to defeat her, thus advancing up in rank as her skills would improve with each challenge. Some felt betrayed by her for doing this, a few understood and accepted their loss, others merely envied her for thinking of this first and attempted to copy her, but they lacked Amber's unique social abilities and the way she could strike up an instant friendship with any superior fighter. The one day she set her sights on learning from this one, though I'd prefer to believe that our friendship was genuine since it began when she came to this one's rescue."

"You got into something you couldn't handle?" Ranma asked with unusual perception.

I nodded, "This one did not learn Amber's way of approaching others with the intent of making friends and alliances among our peers. If you must know the truth, this one was very prideful and often made enemies by challenging other girls to fight in tournaments and beating them easily, then rubbing their noses in the dirt." I shook my head as I thought back on the foolishness of my childhood, then continued, "One day several girls whom this one had treated contemptuously after their defeats decided to gang up on this one and teach her a lesson. Alone any one or two of them would not have been a problem, but four of them at the same time? Even this one had doubt of her ability to triumph.

"Then Amber showed up and interfered in our fight, just as this one was finding herself hard pressed…" I did not bother to add that I was seriously being pummeled by one of the girls while the other was holding my arms behind my back, the other two just beginning to regain their own footing, "She had been following me and studying my moves for several days before approaching, and I think she was no more pleased at my being outnumbered than I was, because she helped me to defeat those four, displaying skills that were unlike any other warrior of our village."

"And naturally you were grateful?" Nabiki asked.

I shook my head negatively, "No, because I knew of Ambergris only by reputation and thought here simply an overly-eager fighter who had interfered in my battle because she thought me too weak to handle those others. This one was filled with anger and resentment at needing to be rescued, but somehow she calmed me down with words and instead of fighting with her we became friends. She asked if this one could train with her, but of course Great Grandmother would have refused to allow another to spar with Perfume and me. She then convinced me that it would be all right to spar by ourselves away from the notice of our Elders, and so this one fought with her in private and found myself being tested in a way that no one else but Perfume had ever managed.

"This one was impressed, so even though this one defeated her it was unlike other defeats and this one felt no desire to humiliate her further. She accepted her defeat with unusual humility, and this, too, impressed me, for it was rare to meet an opponent who respected another warrior with so little pride or ego. We began to talk on many things and before too long this one found herself enjoying Amber's company in a way very different from the time this one spent with Lotion. This was before this one became intimate with Lotion, so this one introduced Lotion to Amber and felt satisfaction at befriending both another warrior and an apprenticed healer. For some reason Perfume did not share my appreciation of Ambergris and refused to spar with her in private, and Great Grandmother seemed to take an instant dislike to her, but this one insisted that she was her friend and refused to be discouraged by their warnings.

"Then one day Great Grandmother came to this one and informed her that Ambergris was going to issue formal challenge. At first this one refused to believe her, not wanting to accept that she would take what she knew of my combat skills and use that knowledge to defeat me. This one felt as though my trust had been betrayed and that Ambergris had never truly been my friend but had been using me all along to advance her own interests. This one was rated the top warrior of our class, so defeating me was the only way that she could claim the title as top candidate for Champion of our village. Of course Amber did not believe that she was betraying me herself, or so this one now understand that she believes that she was not intending betrayal. This one thinks that Amber is sometimes too smart for her own good, but in any event
Great Grandmother's words encouraged me to believe that she had betrayed me, so I sought her out on the challenge log and fought against her naginata with my sword instead of my bonbori, knowing that the change of weapons would unsettle her. This one also kept her anger barely in check and did not speak a word, letting my silence speak as accusation. This one was using what Amber termed 'Psychological intimidation' to…how should this one say…rattle the tiger's cage? Amber did not fight at her best and this one defeated her handily, then gave her the cut across her cheek as insult for betrayal. This one might well have killed her, but this one does not like to kill, and she was-or had been-her friend, so instead she turned her back on Amber and left her where she was, hiding her own shame with anger…"

I closed my eyes and let the weight of my own words bear down on me. How could I have been so stupidly blinded by my pride not to see what Great Grandmother was doing? Of course Amber was going to challenge me to an official match…it was accepted among warriors as the way of proving who was the better fighter! In two years time we would be doing it for real when I won my title as Champion of our village, but I behaved as if the very act of being challenged was instead a repudiation of our friendship. I cannot explain myself even in my heart why I did what I did with such arrogant anger, and the sudden shame of what I had done caused me to shed tears like a man, not even caring that my airen could see this.

"This one…this one is sorry she did this," I began again, my voice shaking somewhat as I tried to regain control over my emotions, "To mark her face because this one felt hurt…how stupid, how shallow! I was a fool to let my pride blind me to the truth of what Great Grandmother had done, and this only a few days before this one had her argument with Perfume that ended her relationship with Lotion. Then…then the terrible news that came in the night when Lotion's Elder and aunt both sensed great peril against her life. It was only later that this one would hear the full story, after she and Perfume had been aroused to join in the search for Lotion's body…"

The tears came back to me again and would not be as easily dismissed. My airen were thoughtful to allow me a moment to regather my emotions so that I could continue once again, "Perfume had awoken herself with a vision of Lotion falling from a bridge, so she was first to arrive at waterfall bridge that Lotion had to take in order to find the village of the Sleeping Woman. The story became plain that warriors bearing a grudge against Shampoo sought to ambush Lotion in order to seek retribution for prior defeats and humiliations. At least two of the girls were ones who had been a part of the group that had attacked this one on her first meeting with Amber. Worse still, we found Amber's naginata imbedded in stone just below the bridge as if hurled there with great force. It was plain enough that Ambergris had been involved in whatever mischief had taken place, and naturally the conclusion was that she had sought revenge on this one by attacking Lotion!"

I began to pace again, feeling a wealth of emotions that I did not know how to cope with welling up inside me, feeling a desire to lash out again or run away. Instead I let the words pour out from me as I told my airen of the hideous sense of betrayal that had overcome me at that moment, the sense of guilt and grief that overwhelmed me, causing me to hold myself to blame for all that had happened. It took a full minute before I was able to say, "But Lotion was not dead, and Amber did not betray this one! She did not harm this one's beloved as she thought but instead accompanied her to the village of the Sleeping Woman. This one has hated her ever since without reason! This one was the real betrayer of our friendship. How can this one ever make right what has gone before? This one has been such an idiot, so blind by anger that she never once considered any other possibilities but revenge against Amber!"

"What happened to the girls who tried to hurt her?" Ranma asked, "Did you go after them?"

I shook my head negatively and replied, "No. This one grieved, but it was Perfume who hunted them down and brought them back to our village, stripped naked and in humiliation, their hair sliced short to signify their loss of Warrior status. She brought them before the Elders for judgement and they were sentenced to work as common laborers in the field, their status lower than any man's, to be hated and despised by any who might once have called them friend or kinswoman."

"I'm surprise she let them live," my wife noted, "If this Perfume character was as hung up on Lotion as you say she was..."

"Why did she not kill them and leave their carcasses to rot in the forest?" I smiled without humor, "Too merciful. Perfume was too well trained by Great Grandmother to let her feelings get the better of her. She wanted to make them small in their own eyes, then parade their shame before others. Much worse than killing by the standards of our people. Killing might have caused a rift between families, but letting them live humiliated their Elders and forced them to agree with the decision of our Matriarch. It was Perfume's first task as Enforcer of our village, and it proved to everyone that she was worthy of her office."

"I'll bet," Ranma sounded impressed, "Nothing worse for a macho chick than get treated like a guy, right?"

"You're catching on, Ranma-kun," Nabiki nodded, then turned back to me with a probing look and asked, "So…what are your feelings for her now that you know that Lotion is still among the living?"

I had been expecting that question but it still left me feeling awkward. I was beginning to reel from so many conflicting emotions waging their own tournament within my heart. I allowed a tired sigh to express my weariness on the subject, "What is there to say? This one is glad she is alive, but two years have passed and now we are both very different people. Lotion has blossomed like a flower into a young woman with such confidence in her bearing, but she is no longer this one's beloved, for she has been with another, and she has clearly caught the eyes of this one's cousin."

"Yeah," Ranma smirked, "I kinda noticed that myself. She sticking to that blue haired chick like they were attached or something."

"So," Nabiki sounded less convinced, "You're saying it's all in the past and you don't have any lingering feelings, no secret urges to do it again for old time's sake?"

I smiled at her and said, "What do you think, Airen? Does this one have to work to convince you? This one will be happy to demonstrate her loyalty, if you wish it."

"Ah…" I saw Nabiki hesitate and was gratified to know that I could still do that to her and get away with it, meaning she was not entirely adjusted to my flirting.

"Airen," I turned around and looked at them with my most serious expression, "This one is sorry that she has never told you about her lost love, but the subject has always been very painful. This one went through very hard times recovering from her loss, and for a year this one was not herself, behaving like some other person that you would not even recognize. For a time she even behaved as if she wanted to join Lotion in her imagined sojourn with our sacred ancestors, but eventually this one came to her senses and regained her sense of purpose. She trained hard, fought and became the village Champion, then she met and married a strong man and a beautiful woman who make this one very happy. What else is there to say about what is past?"

"Just one thing," Nabiki said, nodding towards the garage area of the garden, "Would you mind explaining what the deal is with the motorcycle? Where the heck did you learn to ride that?"

"Oh," I shrugged, "This one thought she had explained that. This one learned to ride from her father."

"Your dad taught you how to ride a motorcycle?" Ranma asked, "When?"

"After Lotion…" I began, then corrected myself, "After this one believed that Lotion had been killed by warriors seeking revenge against her, she stopped training to be a warrior and went back to the home of her father. This one stopped paying attention to her great grandmother and instead tried to become familiar with the family that she had been ignoring, her mother and father and both of her younger sisters. It was like returning to the house of a stranger, so little time had this one spent around them. This one's mother was always busy going from house to house and from village to village delivering babies, applying poultices, tending wounds to warriors who were careless, and generally doing what a Healer does in a small country area without hospitals and clinics. Shampoo decide to help, go with mother and assist her, learn much about healing from mother, but this one decided it was not something she wanted to do on a full time basis. This one spent some time teaching her sisters what she knew about fighting, but fighting was not what this one wanted to do, so at least she turned to her father and sought his council. This one's father is a very wise man, and he helped this one to cope with her loss, for he was more patient with this one than her mother."

"Your father being the village handyman and mechanic," my wife pointed out, and I nodded.

"This one enjoyed spending time with her father, learned a great deal from him about fixing things and repairwork. This one did not have his patience for the limits of devices, but she did find her father's particular hobby to be of great interest, for this one's father had a motorcycle that had been manufactured in Shanghai. Such a thing was very rare in the country, very hard to afford, but he had come to the village with this motorcycle and had kept it in good condition. He taught this one much about the workings of the engine and how it could be repaired and made to work proper. This one fell in love with the machine, treating it as one might a pet, and learned to ride it for herself, even though her mother did not approve and Great Grandmother was especially unhappy. At the time this one could care less what they thought and insisted on going everywhere with her father's motorcycle, attempting to cross difficult country, even taking risks that she should not have taken. One day she went too far, tried a difficult stunt and nearly hurt herself, but the motorcycle was all but destroyed. This one was devastated, having cost her father the thing he prized more than any other, and-worse still-had come very close to dying, closer than in any fight she had ever attempted.

"But then this one's father came looking for her and told her it was all right, that he did not mind losing the motorcycle as long as this one was not hurt. This one cried in his arms and felt all the grief that this one had been carrying inside her come out at last, and when it was done the pain within this one was banished. Suddenly this one understood that she had been a fool and had been avoiding her destiny because of her sorrow. This one returned to house of Great Grandmother and resumed her training, trained for a whole year to ready herself for the challenge of the tournament, then easily defeated her rivals, becoming Champion so that she could make Lotion proud of her, proud that this one would dedicate the feast in her honor."

"Only I showed up and spoiled things," my husband concluded, and I smiled at him a bit sadly.

"It no longer matters, Husband," I replied, "You know everything now, all the secrets of this one's life. This one has taken many journeys to get to where she is today, but she does not regret the journey undertaken. This one only wants to know if you will allow her to continue the journey with you."

"Well," Nabiki smiled, "When you put it like that…"

"Try and stop us," Ranma smirked, giving me a thumb's up sign that let me know that all was forgiven.

I was so delighted with the both of them that I threw my arms around Ranma, then reached out and took Nabiki by the wrist to bring us all three into the same embrace. I felt incredibly clean, the emotions I had poured out literally washing me from within of all the darkness and shadows that I had carried with me for so long. I knew that my heart was filled only with a love for them that was pure and well tempered, and I silently bid farewell to my memories of the past. They would always be a part of me, but what concerned me most of all was ensuring that there would be a future.

If only I was as certain about Mousse, but whenever it came to him the future was less certain. I never truly hated him before, not even when he drove other people away who tried to come near me. It was not just Great Grandmother who had sought to control my destiny but his looming shadow that kept any boy my age from even glancing in my direction. Is it any wonder that the company of another girl had been much easier to accomplish? Mouse had been away from the village at the time, undertaking his own strange quest in a misguided attempt to force me to become his airen.

His journey is clearly not done, and I am not certain where he is headed, but if he tried to harm either one of my beloveds, then I would see to it that his journey comes to an end…one way or another…!

"So," Comb eyed her nominal rivals with uncertainty, "You'll be staying the night here with your husband?"

"It seems a bit too late at night to travel home," Nodoka replied, "But Soun-san has kindly allowed us to use his guest room, since I rather suspect that Ranma won't be sleeping with his father tonight," she gave an affectionate glance in the direction of her son and his two iinazuke.

"You might be right about that," Atsuko replied, "Wonder what those three are talking about? They've been at it a long while."

"And what about you, Comb-san?" Kasumi asked, "Are you going to the Nekohanten with the others?"

"I've got a husband to get back to, dear," Comb gave a slight wince that might resemble a smile, "And maybe some more explaining to do…"

"Don't grovel too much," Silk replied with her usual charming sense of humor, "I'm sure he's willing to overlook the fact that you were ready to take another woman's husband for a consort."

"And what about you, Silk-san?" Nodoka asked, "Are you staying or leaving?"

"I believe that I will stay the night, I just haven't worked out yet the accommodations," Silk mused, giving Soun a pleasant expression that made him appear more than a little dumbstruck.

"Methinks the problem will work itself out in a creative manner," Kodachi mused, "I, of course, will be staying with Kasumi-chan, but if it were a question of sharing a room…?"

"Oh no," Silk replied, "I wouldn't think of intruding on the both of you. I'll manage well enough somehow, I just don't think I'd want to spend much time around the Nekohanten, though. It's bound to feel a bit…crowded with some many of our people dwelling under one roof."

"Tell me about it," Comb frowned, "It'll be crowded enough just staying under the same roof as Grandmother."

"And what are your plans, Atsuko?" Silk asked of the half-Oni, "Are you staying or leaving?"

"Staying," Atsuko smiled back, "I've done enough wandering around, I want some time with my son to be better acquainted."

"How interesting," Nodoka noted, "I was planning on spending all night getting reacquainted with my husband."

Genma-now in human form again-looked nearly as stunned as Soun, only his glasses began to fog up like Doctor Tofu's.

"Then where will you be sleeping, Atsuko-san?" Kasumi asked the Oni, "The only other room available is Akane's."

"Well, where does Ryoga usually sleep?" Atsuko asked.

"In Akane's bed," Kasumi replied, then blinked her eyes and corrected herself, "Oh my! Now that he no longer turns into P-chan that wouldn't be proper, would it? I suppose you both could share the Dojo, if Silk-san wouldn't mind."

"In…Akane's…BED???" Soun slowly began to rumble like an active volcano.

"Oh Father," Kasumi chided, "Akane's perfectly able to conduct herself like a lady, and she's probably on her way back home right now with Ryoga…

"The dojo would be fine," Atsuko hastily interjected before the eldest Tendo could go into full eruption, "Plenty of room there for Ryo-chan and me to set up temporary house, and tomorrow night why don't we all meet here again so we can show off what Comb and me did this afternoon at Silk's suggestion."

"Oh?" Soun forgot his anger and looked nervously from the Amazon to the Oni, "And that is?"

"It'll be our surprise," Silk patted his arm, "I know you're going to love it."

"I've already checked it out," Kodachi grinned, exchanging affectionate glances with Kasumi, "Kasumi-chan and I were planning on using it as soon as the house is cleaned and all the dishes are put away."

"Using it?" Soun repeated blankly.

"Sure," Atsuko patted Genma on the arm, "Maybe when Nodoka-chan gets done with you I could take you out back and give you the grand tour, Gen-chan."

Genma was starting to feel more than a little crowded with three aggressive women flanking him on every side, two of whom could barely stand to be in the other's presence, but as he was thinking this, Comb's hand snagged out to give Atsuko a helpful push that proved to be just sufficient to overbalance the half-Oni and send her tumbling into the Koi pond.

"Oops," Comb said as an angry wet fox-head poked out of the water and began to make unpleasant noises, "Well, I'd better be on my way. Be seeing you all tomorrow."

"Have a nice night," Silk said pleasantly enough, "And give my regards to Grandmother."

"Will do," Comb replied, whistling a cheerful tune as she headed out towards the gateway…

Continued

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