Ai No Kusabi Fan Fiction ❯ Falling Into the Darkness ❯ Haunted ( Chapter 3 )

Haunted…

I've been here almost three years already. You'd think Iason and his ilk would've gotten tired of me by now, but…no. I do my best to fight them all, but I find myself overpowered on all sides. I have no escape. I can't even get myself killed, and believe me, there have been many times I would have welcomed the sweet embrace of death.

If I had known on that night what would happen by my being too proud to let it be, I would have remained obligated to that blond bastard who controls my very existence. It would have eaten me to the core to live with the idea that I owed a Blondie *anything*, much less possibly my life. However, I would have done so to have retained my freedom and all that used to imply.

My life was secure, albeit always a struggle to survive. I was comfortable with my lot, though, and would have been more than content. My days were spent hanging out with Bison or scoping the area for potential profit. My nights, after the work was complete, were lovingly spent in Guy's arms.

I think I miss Guy's gentle touches most of all. As a pairing partner, he was all I could wish for…he was attentive and never complained if I wanted more or less in any given night. He thought I was skilled when I was forced to leave. I wonder what he would think of the things I could teach him now.

Iason trusts his Furniture implicitly to do his bidding. Katze has been most thorough, I must admit. I've learned that the old saying that "for every action there is a reaction" can be applied to most every situation while in Katze's care.

At first, they thought I would somehow be *grateful* to have been removed from my life in Ceres. They thought I would just lie down and become some docile non-being from the beginning and lick the boots of Iason and his cronies in thanks for being "elevated" to the role of Pet. Instead, I truly believe the moment the Blondie first attached the Pet ring to my body was the beginning of my downfall.

Still I resist, despite understanding the futility of that resistance.

When it became clear I meant to defy all the instructors in the Academy, Iason had me installed in a private facility with various private instructors to teach me the finer points of Pet Etiquette. The instructors enjoyed their work, and I, on the other hand, learned to deal with the consequences of my defiance. As Iason realized he had come no closer to taming my ways, he gave the job to Katze to rehabilitate me in such a fashion as to ensure that Iason wouldn't be further embarrassed.

Throughout my instruction, I knew Iason watched. Years of being the head of Bison and keeping the gang out of harm's way gave me certain instincts. One of those instincts allowed me to feel the Blondie's eyes boring into my flesh as he watched the monitors the others thought me too uncivilized to notice. While he wasn't always there personally, I knew he was informed of my every nuance.

Finally, Katze resorted to hiring Daryl to finish my training in a more expeditious fashion. At that point, I began to adjust my behavior more to suit their whims. Daryl's methods were a little extreme even for me. Katze realized this little factoid as well, and used the threat of a return visit from the little sadist whenever I would begin to digress. Damn, but I hated what they made me do…even so, I dreaded Daryl's presence more.

Soon enough, Iason had me performing for him at the clubs. I think the hatred in my eyes was somehow an aphrodisiac to the Blondies. I always heard gasps of surprise from the other Pets when they would see the crowds. Their disgust was clear when they realized I was the reason for the crowds. They have done their best to embarrass Iason through me in hopes that he would dispose of me in favor of one of them. So far, however, their actions have only served to anger him more, and he takes it out on me when we return home.

I remember the first time he chose to take me completely. I was not aware that Blondies were capable…I'd always heard that the reason they got off on the Pets doing each other was that they couldn't do it for themselves. I always thought them lower than Furniture in that respect. How wrong I was…

Thus began a nightly routine of performing for the clients and other Blondies, then getting back to the condo to perform yet again for Iason. There are many evenings when I just don't much feel like allowing Iason my body, and I do sometimes rebel because I still cannot fully give myself to the Blondie. As long as I can conjure Guy's visage in my head, I will never be Iason's completely.

Iason hates the realization that I refuse to be his in more than mere Blondie/Pet relationships. There are evenings that Iason seems understanding and allows me my brooding solitude. Other times he simply takes my wrists and pins me to the wall with his body, using me hard whether or not he chooses to disrobe and enjoy the experience, and enjoy it he does. Other times he just uses his observed learning to drive me mad and then leave me to relieve myself in a private show only for him.

I think it galls him to see me draw such moments out as long as I can stand it, spilling myself in hot, sticky streams while screaming Guy's name to the rooftop. I invariably find myself punished harshly afterwards, but I get a grim satisfaction from showing him yet again that he may own my body, but my love remains the property of another. Even now, my soul belongs only to me.

Lately Iason has begun trying a different tactic. He tells me that if I would just stop fighting everyone…if I would just try to enjoy my lot here in his home…he will give my freedom back to me. I don't really believe such a thing is possible. After all the effort he has put into breaking me, why would he suddenly give up and let me go? I don't understand his motivation, because unless Jupiter has threatened him for keeping me here, I see him bending to the will of no one, least of all me. Perhaps he does this because he recognizes that for all that he is a Blondie with a will of iron, my will is stronger even than his own. I have decided, however, that I will put him to the test and let my guard weaken slightly. I will see how true to his word the Blondie is.

Iason is taking his time with me tonight, gently making love to me and seeming to relish every response I give. I keep my attention on my master as I promised I would, and although my mind aches for Guy's loving voice, Iason's words mimic those my pairing partner reserved only for my ears. He says the right things tonight, and I know with certainly that my performance is one that Iason will remember, because he knows it is the first time I am willingly giving myself to him as fully as I can. I think he knows he cannot have the all-encompassing admiration…nay, love…he craves, but his actions tell me it will be enough for the moment.

I feel my need building as he slowly plunges himself into me. In all this time, only he has been allowed to take me in this way, other than the men who trained me. None of their treatment could have ever been called "loving" in any fashion. Tonight, however, as Iason repeatedly fills me, I know that he is truly loving me and not just fucking me. He knows that I can tell the difference and whispers endearments that I could never imagine issuing from his stern lips. My responses to him are not forced tonight; he is showing me his heart, and I would be less than the man he knows me to be if I didn't show real appreciation for his efforts.

I sense the slight tensing in his body as he reaches completion. His arms tighten around me and he kisses me full on the mouth, drinking me in deeply as if it will be his last moment. I answer his kiss with true emotion that, while not love, is as close to the response I can give. We lie in each other's arms and he continues to run his fingertips along my body as if committing each touch to memory. The thought that he is indeed memorizing the feel of my body in his arms saddens me somehow. I don't understand why I feel this way, but it is so nonetheless.

Iason stands up and, walking to the balcony window, beckons me to join him to appreciate the incredible view afforded us as one of the privileges of his being one of the Elite. As he kisses me, holding me almost impossibly close to him, he glides a hand down to cup me, and I think he is preparing to take me yet again, which is not an unusual thing for him to do of late. What *is* unusual, however, is that he brings his hand into my field of vision, and my Pet ring is dangling from the long, graceful fingers.

"I promised you your freedom if you would give me a night such as this," he says. I stare in disbelief as he turns away and sits in a chair at the far side of the room. Not pausing to gather any effects other than the clothes I had been wearing, I step out the door. As the door closes behind me, I hear the Blondie saying to no one in particular that he was a fool to have ever thought he could make me love him, as I obviously love the mongrel I knew before I came to him.

I spare just a moment to think that things may have been different if he had only been a native of Ceres as well. Then I walk to the elevator and out of the building that has been my prison and down the road that will lead me away from Midas.

Guy, my love, please forgive me. I hope you can be content to never have to know about my absence. If you will still have me, I am finally coming home…