Ai No Kusabi Fan Fiction ❯ Falling Into the Darkness ❯ Bring Me To Life ( Chapter 9 )

Bring Me To Life…

How can you see into my eyes like open doors?

Leading me down into my core where I become so numb...

The night I found you struggling among the gang of young upstarts, my first instinct was to let you fend for yourself. It would have been clearly a battle that should have been over quickly. You were quite outnumbered, and you were a Mongrel of the lowest sort. I should have never interfered. How could I know you would become both my downfall and my reason to be, all rolled into one?

Watching you fight the gang all alone, you did, quite frankly, better than you should have been able. You intrigued me. Then the one man drew his blade, and I knew I had to become involved. Even then, I had no idea it would go to the lengths it did.

You should have gone back to your home without inviting me along. Even now I wonder why I didn't have the sense Jupiter gave me to simply scoff at your feeble attempts to maintain your dignity. There was no debt owed…I simply couldn't, at that moment, allow Citizens to be so terribly behaved. I couldn't allow it, despite the fact that it was directed at a lesser being. Even so, you continued to intrigue me as you led me to that disgusting den in which you had been hiding.

I took one look into your eyes and was lost. The look of defiance I saw there made me want to possess you completely. How could I have possibly known that it would be you…a mere Mongrel…who would be the possessor?

Without a soul, my spirit sleeping somewhere cold,

Until you find it there and lead it back home…

I should have walked away. Your Mongrel bravado was nothing to me. For some reason unbeknownst to me even now, I *had* to follow you. What possible reason could there be for me to debase myself by being in the presence of a Mongrel? I still don't understand completely, but perhaps it was your defiance and innate sense of honor that drew me inexplicably to you. After all, in the salons of Tanagura, we've all heard the tales of the lengths the Mongrels will go to better themselves. Of course, becoming a Pet would be the best you could have hoped for. Becoming the *Private* Pet you found yourself should never have happened…ever. I should have known better, but I let your exotic looks be my downfall.

Looking at your nude body displayed solely for my pleasure, I should have laughed. You had none of the softness I have come to expect when watching the Pets perform. From your attitude that dared me to resist the payment you offered, to the taut lines of muscle that came from the life you built for yourself among your Mongrel friends, you could never be labeled "soft". Seeing you before me caused a stir the Pets had previously never initiated. It made me impetuous.

I looked into your eyes and felt the need to possess you, body and soul. In the end, however, you possessed *my* soul. I would have done anything for you. I did *everything* for you.

Wake me up inside…Wake me up inside…

My hands, one then the other, explored the angles and planes of your body as I beheld the magnificence of nature before me. I wanted to break you from the very beginning. I had never been drawn to any one being as I was drawn to you. I was out of my element, but I didn't care. I only wanted to own you, so I took you home and registered you as my Pet. True, I'd had them before, but you saw the sort of back-biting, soft creatures the Academy prepared for the consumption of the Elite. None of them ever held a candle to you. Riki, you were the most unique, most sensual being I had ever seen. And you were *mine*.

It should have been enough for us both. Why could it not be enough for you?

Call my name and save me from the dark…

You fought me at every turn, even causing me to resort to causing you harm and threatening the same for your friends. Even though the other Blondies such as Raoul thought me insane for bringing you into my life, I would very much have liked to have seen you perform with others of your kind. The animalistic nature you possessed only drew me closer…only made me want to know more of the secrets of the Mongrel. True, I knew such desires were beneath me, but by that time, I was no longer concerned with propriety, as you undoubtedly had surmised. I was like the moth drawn to a flame.

Bid my blood to run before I come undone,

Save me from the nothing I've become…

Watching you perform with the other Pets was quickly becoming unsatisfying to me. The passion I saw that first night was never in your eyes when you were on stage. I saw more of that fire when you were in my suite with the other ones I would employ so that you could fill my need to watch you. Even so, my obsession grew stronger.

More times than I care to remember, Raoul would caution me about the error in judgment it was to bring you into my life. During your training, his concerns were echoed by Katze…the one non-Blondie who had ever truly earned my respect. Their words, however, fell on deaf ears. I couldn't ignore the sensations you caused in me. The more I saw, the more I desired. You were my obsession, and I was drowning in the need I felt every time we were in the same room. You thought I had all the power over you. In fact, just the opposite was true.

Now that I know what I'm without, you can't just leave me

Breathe into me and make me real…Bring me to life…

In the end, I promised you freedom in return for passion. I could no longer content myself with watching you. Every time I watched you pleasure yourself for me, I envisioned my hands on your body. For each scream you elicited from another Pet, I secretly wished such screams issued from your throat as I pleasured you. I finally could take no more. I would have done anything short of living in Ceres myself to experience the completion I witnessed. For all intents and purposes, I did just that.

I gave up the respect of my peers in order to obtain the pleasure of your body. Even now, I believe it all to have been worth the sacrifice. Being a man of my word, however, I had to release you. After three years of time with you…not all of it good, I might add (for I thought many times you would die before you acquiesced)…I let you go back to Ceres and the life you left.

Frozen inside without your touch, without your love, Darling

Only you are the life among the dead…

During the year we spent apart, I made certain I knew of your every move. I know you had no illusions to the contrary. I made certain that Katze's reports were frequent and detailed, but I also cautioned him to not interfere with you in any way.

I became, once again, the model Blondie…Jupiter's most prized possession. I thought I would be successful in my quest to keep my public and private lives separate. I tried harder to maintain that separation than I tried anything in my previous existence. This façade even overshadowed my original attempts to truly break you. Unfortunately, I failed miserably at trying to ignore my feelings.

I would wake, more nights than not, bathed in the sweat of remembered passion, the smell of my sex heavy in the air. I was left spent, feeling empty, longing for your body as a lifeline to guide me back to the light.

I've been living a lie

There's nothing inside…

As far as the public was concerned, the act seemed to have worked. I never quite fooled Raoul or Katze into believing I no longer needed you, but I think most everyone else saw my heart mending. I kept myself busier than ever in an attempt to regain my position in Tanaguran Society. In fact, I had once again become almost completely the aloof Citizen I had always been before I became your slave.

All of this time, I can't believe I couldn't see

Left in the dark, but you were there in front of me…

I thought I had done so well. Then you *had* to show up at the auction. Had it been anyone but you, I would have entered the room almost oblivious to the Mongrel Presence. Katze would have had the droids squash the attempt to steal the trippers, and my interference would not have been required. It *did* have to be you in the lead of your gang Bison, though, did it not? I instinctively felt your eyes upon me and unerringly found your gaze as I glanced to the upper reaches of the room. I saw you flinch…felt your fear. I knew in that instance that my impression upon you was, to some degree at least, as important to you as it had been to me.

Even as I contacted Katze with the instructions that you were to travel unimpeded, I knew just by seeing you that the evening was portentous. I knew at that instant I would have you back with me. From that one moment, all other reason paled in my mind. You would once again be mine, and in return I would once again be yours. The disappointment I would face from Jupiter, as well as Raoul and the rest of my peers became secondary as I felt my need for you choke me, both literally and emotionally.

I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems

Got to open my eyes to everything…

The night your disgruntled follower betrayed you showed just how unique you are among the Mongrels. Killie proved himself the dust speck I took him to be when he accepted the pittance Katze offered in my name to have Bison trapped on the transport. Have no worries, my love, I have eliminated the problem permanently. Oh, I'm sure you'll find occasion to see him again, but when he decided he was too good to retain his status as a flunky, I had his mind shattered, so he might not remember you. In fact he has become the docile sex toy that we threatened to make you during your training.

You will never need to sully yourself on him, though. I save his gifts for those clients who have more…how shall I say?...exotic tastes. Our revenge has been served cold every night since he presumed to be on equal footing with me. The only one who comes close to that position is you, and despite my obsession, we know I could never allow such to occur.

That is why you, once again, wear my ring as a symbol of my need to possess you completely. Even now my lust is insatiable where you are concerned. Every moment in your presence borders on the intolerable whenever I am unable to partake of your bounty.

Without a thought, without a Voice, without a Soul

Don't let me die here, there must be something more…

My work has become little more than a distraction to me, yet I continue to perform my duties in the manner to which I am expected. Jupiter has cautioned me as to the penalties for allowing either of us to ignore my role as an Elite. Raoul thinks me mad. We have discussed my feelings for you, and he thinks I have let them get out of hand. While he knows it changes nothing, he knows I agree with his assessment. How is it that you dominate my will as you do??

Every night I bury myself in you, body and soul, my own soul crying out for fulfillment. I wish to be all for you as you have become for me, even knowing you retain feelings for the Mongrel you once claimed as your pairing partner. I wish to drive his memory from you forever and fill you with my need.

Call my name and save me from the dark…

I watch you while I worship you with my mouth, your head thrown back, and your face betrays the pleasure you refuse to vocalize. I long for the moment when you are completely mine. Until I wring every ounce of pleasure from you, I will still long for you.

Your muscles tremble as my hands glide over them. I have taken mental note of each touch that drives your hunger. You seem to enjoy my exploitation of this knowledge, yet still I need you more. I know that I am slowly making strides toward my goal, however, because you have begun to need me as well. I feel this as your hands tangle in my hair when I sense that you are close to reaching completion. Now you will guide me up to lie in the circle of your arms, where you slowly, sadly somehow, begin to explore my body as well. You know I come to expect your actions with a relish that I hope one day to see reciprocated.

Bring me to life…

Now, as you ask me to release you yet again, I realize that your pleading only serves to fuel me on. I feel my need building, yet I slow my pace. The warm sheath of your body provides the sweetest agony as I continually stroke the one spot within you that forces you to relinquish control. Turning you to face me one last time, I grasp your hips and thrust as forcefully as I can while withdrawing myself in a painfully slow manner. Your legs have begun to tighten around my back as your body contracts against mine, and I scarcely detect the slight difference in your reaction compared to the many previous nights we've been together.

I look into your eyes and for the first time ever, I see that your gaze is smoky with passion for *me*, and me alone. I do not see the ghost of your pairing partner tonight, and I feel encouraged. Kissing my way from your navel toward the delectable column of your throat, I feel each muscle tighten in its turn as you begin to writhe in earnest beneath me.

Finally I reach your mouth, drinking you into my soul, while at the same time I feel you devouring me as well. Your arms coming around to clench at my back, kneading my muscles, yet tearing the flesh as your nails dig deep causes me to break off the kiss in a painful gasp.

Wake me up inside…

I turn my head, just enough so that I feel your lips brush my ear. We have become entangled in a dance this time which has become a battle for total control at last. There is no turning back as I feel your body matching mine thrust for thrust, your velvet hardness digging into my belly even as I drive myself to the hilt into your fiery chasm. My senses sharpen so that I am only conscious of my actions and the vibrancy of your response. Slowly I become aware of the fact that you are breathlessly saying the same thing, over and over.

"Take me…please take me," has become a mantra as we reach a furious rhythm that I know cannot be long maintained, yet I continue. I will not deny you, nor will I allow myself to be denied. Your words turn into screams as I feel your final tension before you release the thick, hot seed between our straining bodies. I feel my body arch and tighten as your muscles clench me one last time. Spilling myself into you, my head thrown back, hair landing wetly upon my equally sweat-slick back, I hear you scream my name, your voice hoarse from your passionate cries. Collapsing against your chest, in a state of complete satiation such as I have never felt, I whisper just as hoarsely my feelings for you. I think you know that now you are truly mine, I can never let you go.

For this night, at least, you tell me what I need to hear…that you have no desire to be anywhere but within the circle of my arms. Looking into your eyes, I still see that fierce pride I have always seen. Tonight, however, the pride is all directed at me…for me…as the man who has finally and thoroughly claimed your soul. I look at you in amazement as I discover that you also realize that I have allowed you to claim my soul for your own.

Jupiter can say what he will, as can Raoul and Katze. I will not trade this sensation for any amount of power of prestige. As long as you are mine, I have my needs fulfilled. You are mine, and I am yours, and I feel alive…truly alive.

They can never take this from me, no matter how they may try.