Avatar The Last Airbender Fan Fiction ❯ Precious Illusions ❯ It Ends Tonight ( Chapter 15 )

Authors Notes: Well, I found a better name for this chapter around uploading chapter 8. Unfortunately I liked the song for this chapter which was All These Things I've Done by Killers, but I had to change it. Oh, well. The phoenix and dragons represent different things in their world.

`Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?'

 

Disclaimer: Is not mine, I could never make up something so beautiful and predictable as it, though I do wish I had Zuko (I would lock him in my room and never leave). It belongs to Nickelodeon (I think) and its creators Michael Dante DiMartino and Bryan Konietzko.

 

Warnings: language (the f word is used twice in the fic), a bit of violence, emotional turmoil, insanity, yuri (light and far away), shoujo ai, mentions of shounen ai/yaoi. Original characters, made up avatar creatures (that's all the warning I can think of off the top of my head).

 

It Ends Tonight by The All-American Rejects

 

Chapter Fifteen

It Ends Tonight

 

Azula had one more day of freedom. It turned out that the `fake' Saki had been right. She really had been out of it for three days. Apparently she had talked to a hell of a lot of people who didn't exist during that time, and had made several very disturbing attempts, but Azula didn't remember any of it and the avatar and his friends were visibly worried.

 

The time she had left had been split between waking and dreaming, this last day turning out to be the hardest. Azula saw things and people turned out not be in reality and her mind was having trouble remembering what she was. A few times she had been fully ready to take her thrown as Fire Princess, only to remember just in time that she was an exile waiting for her execution. She heard voices around her that didn't have bodies. Reality and fantasy was quickly becoming impossible to tell apart. But the avatar and his friends had been there to support her through it all. Sokka had watched her in the morning, talking to her constantly, since she wasn't allowed to teach the children until she was better. Saki hadn't had to say anything, and by the time she would have been able to do more than great them and tell them the odd story, by the time Azula would be allowed to watch them again then she would be in prison or dead, whichever punishment her brother choose for her.

 

Still, everyone acted like she was a friend, like they had been friends for years. Azula felt like they couldn't turn against her now that the connection had been made, but that's what she had thought about Saki. Gato got on her case when he noticed she had basically stopped eating, but Azula had just snapped at him about his weight. He and Saki's father had been pushing Saki to talk to Azula and work it out, but Saki hadn't spilled on her - yet.

 

The others tended to stick close to her when they could. Jet would cling to her, and look very pathetic, or run away and do something stupid that required her attention. This, surprisingly, kept her more present than anything else. Her mother treated her like a child and often would play dolls with her or brush her hair. Azula would usually go along with at the time, and then be angry at both her mother and herself for letting it happen. The avatar would teach her moves, her brother would practice the fire bending moves, Katara would chatter with her, and Toph would drag her to do manly things and beat the boys at their own games.

 

She still avoided her uncle.

 

At the moment Azula was listening to another roaring storm. The thunder was still at a distance, and she planned to just look at it from the roof, just to see what it would be like. She walked up the steps carefully. She'd be back soon. She could then go and calm down the children and say goodbye to them with a story. She wondered how they would all act, what names they'd call her. She hoped that by that time she was lost in herself, lost to the outside world. She didn't' care if the avatar said that since she could identify an illusion from what was real some of the time that she was getting better, if they all turned on her then she knew she would be completely lost. She laughed; it was almost funny how quickly the avatar would change his mind about taking her to a mind healer.

 

“What is so funny, my dear?” asked Iroh, Azula jumped and glanced warily at the man.

 

“Nothing,” she said.

 

“But I want to hear the joke, I wonder how something could cause laughter that made a tear of sadness enter my eye,” he pulled at his girth and they just stared at each other for a time.

 

“Why don't you tell them?” she asked her uncle.

 

“Tell them what?” asked Iroh looking at her in mock confusion.

 

“Tell the others that I'll be right back, I just want to peek at the storm,” said Azula and started up the stairs.

 

“But there's lightning out there!” her uncle yelled.

 

“I'll try to avoid it,” said Azula with contempt. She continued up and was glad when the old general didn't follow her. She just wanted to feel the rain and see the lightning. It had been so long since she had summoned lightning that looking at it might make her feel better. She remembered lightning; it had been the only thing that had ever made her feel a true rush of warmth.

 

Azula came up on the roof and pulled her cloak closer to her, grabbing onto the railing when the fierce wind blew her forward. She could hardly see three feet in front of her and she could hear only the rushing winds and pounding rain. A flash of lightning struck close and Azula jumped in surprise, she had thought the lightning was further away. Another flashed through the sky and was headed, not toward her but, but toward Sokka.

 

She didn't know how she did it. One minute she was standing next to a rail the next she was running toward an idiotic water tribesman. She caught the lightning before it hit him, wondering why the teen was even at the roof or why he hadn't moved. She dragged the lightning inward and felt it crackle inside her, melting her for just a second, before she continued to copy the move she had seen her uncle do and let it out through the other arm back into the sky.

 

It was at that moment she knew that Saki was right. It was her fault. These awful catastrophes that the spirit was making was all to get her attention. She didn't know how she knew, or how she had missed this detail. Azula looked down at her hands in wonderment.

 

She ran, ignoring the way Sokka yelled, or that her feet were slipping dangerously. She went down the stairs and headed toward the cave. She could do it, she could fix it, she was the only one who could fix it. A strange combination of fear and joy crept in her bones upon this knowledge. She would very likely die, the spirit would probably kill her for all that she had done, but she would stop Saki from suffering from both of them. Azi could give her friend something back for all she had done for her even if the girl hated her. Azula couldn't explain it. Still, while suffering, she loved Saki, she would do anything for the girl. Nothing could stop it, and for some reason Azula felt a kind of freedom from this realization that she had never felt before. The fact that she could continue to give her love to someone and not care that they did nothing back for her.

 

Azula soon arrived at the cave; her body was shaking in fear and power. She had to do this; now that she was in this cave she didn't have a choice; something beyond her appeared to be coaxing her forward, telling her to walk forward and face her destiny. Still shaking, she did just that. She made sure to look proud. Back straight and head up, even if there was no one but her to see. Soon she was walking on the small circular upheaval of rocks that indicated where the spirit world and hers were so closely bound.

 

The air grew warmer and started circling around her. It picked up and threw her hair into her face, battering her loose clothing around her skin. She could feel its power in and around her, calling to her, just touching her to see if she was worthy and recoiling at who she was. Slowly she felt it tug at the spot where her fire bending was and she lifted her arm, watching as cool blue fire sprung up in her palm and was dragged from her. The blue expanded and soon was flying in thin lines up. She felt her body lift and drag up toward the top of the cave.

 

It was hard to describe the sensation that coursed through her body as she was lifted with air and fire. She could feel something under the surface, in every brush of air that wanted to feel her. It looked deep into her soul, bringing to mind every laugh, tear, and every horrible deed she had ever done. It looked at her past, at her ancestry, her heart. It looked at everything that she was and forced her to see it herself.

 

She wasn't sure what was up and down. Something was attempting to do more than just see into her soul. It was trying to invade her, and it was angry. Well, perhaps not angry but disappointed. She could feel that it hated what they had become, and that no matter how much it wanted to come back, it wasn't sure if it could. To live a life like that, to become what it had become, could it really be reborn into a world that shaped such a monster.

 

No, she wasn't a monster. She'd be damned if she allowed a piece of herself of call her that. It racked against her mind, reminding her of all that she had done wrong. She forced it to notice how she had become that way. It reminded her that was one of the reasons it didn't want to come back. She panicked, she couldn't let it die, something bigger than just her death could come of that. Azula concentrated; brought out all the memories of all the decent people she could think of and presented them to the spirit. It latched on to Saki, her friendship, her kindness, and finally her hatred. It decided, Azula wasn't sure what it was, but in a moment it didn't matter because the past had become her and she was sinking into blackness, her body warm.

 

-----

 

Saki ran. She didn't know what was compelling her, maybe it was because the storm was changing to a clear night sky so abruptly, or the fact that something told her Azula was in peril. She didn't know why she would care that Azula was dying. The girl had lied to her, she was evil in its purest form, her past had proven that.

 

Yet, Saki had seen the former princess day after day for so long now. They had become close friends and it pained her to hate the other girl in this way. She wished that Azi had had any other secret. Not only that, but often she wished that she had never figured out who Azi really was. She couldn't be right feeling the way she did about someone who had that kind of reputation. She didn't even know what to call it anymore, all she knew was that when she was around Azula she felt comfortable, she had wished that she really was Azi's ghost, the person who had been there for her all her life even when everyone else turned on her in one way or another.

 

She entered the cave at full run and what she saw almost stopped her heart. She looked at Azula; the fire benders face was relaxed with threads of blue hair falling in her face. Azi looked dead. Saki ran forward and turned her friend so that her still face at her. She couldn't feel her breath, or feel her move under her. She didn't even feel comfortable at the warmth that her friend's body now held.

 

Saki brought the still form into her arms, her breath shaky as she looked down on the lax face. She felt for a pulse that wasn't present, she tried to reason why her friend couldn't breathe but would still be alive. She couldn't, it just didn't come.

 

“Azi?” She tried, her voice hardly a whisper. “Azi.” She shook the body a little now. “Come on, you can't die that easily I know you better than that, you're stronger than anyone I know, you would fight this with everything you are. Breathe. Azi? Mai? Azula? Damn it, answer me!”

 

She felt the tears course down her cheeks, body shaking as she tried to get an answer from the limp body in her hands.

 

“Come on girl, I forgive you. I won't tell on you, I promise, I don't think I could rat on you even if I wanted. That's why I was so mad, because you mean too much to me. I know you better and the idea that I might have been tricked just sent me over the edge. Please, I've watched you all this time. I know that you have suffered, and I know when you're lying or being false so I know the look in your eyes when someone from your past helped you, you were truly grateful. That in your own way you were trying to form a bond with your brother, even though you knew he'd send you to prison. I know that you've been trapped in your own mind hallucinating, but trying to ground yourself for everyone around you, but you couldn't. Because the one person you trusted above all else turned her back on you. Please, don't do this, don't let your fantasies become reality, don't die on me when I'm just figuring out how much you mean to me,” Saki couldn't stop the tears that fell. At this point in time she would give anything to take back what she had done.

 

Saki lifted her hand shakily to rub away the tears. She'd tell the avatar the truth; she'd tell Azula's brother what his sister had been trying to do. She lifted her hand to wipe her tears when she saw blood on the tips of her fingers. Her back, Azula was bleeding from her back. Saki hoped the former princess hadn't committed suicide because of the voices and Saki, the blood from on Azula's back indicated that someone had killed her.

 

“I forgive you,” she said into the blue hair. “And I will kill whoever murdered you.”

 

“Saki?” Azula dragged in a breath and choked. Coughing she curled in her friends lap as Saki watched her with wide eyes. “Saki, what are you doing here?”

 

“I thought that something was wrong,” said Saki, her eyes looking away. “Something was wrong with you. I - I came down here because I love you and I can't be with you.”

 

“So, you were upset because someone else almost killed me?” asked Azula, not understanding what was happening.

 

“No, nothing like that,” said Saki dragging Azula closer to her. “I was scared because even knowing who you were I couldn't hate you, and I couldn't hate you more than the moment and I couldn't hurt you more than that, I would never be able to rat you out to the avatar and I knew it.”

 

“You're such a softie,” chuckled Azula, and then winced at her wounds. “You know what; I'm never going to get the avatar truly pissed at me ever again. You people might be agreeable most of the time, but when you lose your temper you really go all out.”

 

“Right, but at the moment I might not be the cause for most of your pain,” said Saki but slowly eased her friend up. “But at the moment what is probably… what the hell have you been doing down here?”

 

“I contacted the spirit, seemed I was the cause of the problems,” said Azula with a small smile.

 

“It really was angry that you were here?” asked Saki, sounding shocked. She blushed and just stared at the stone ground.

 

“No, it wasn't angry at me until it looked at my past; it actually just wanted to meet me before that,” said Azula with an odd smile. “As I said before, it wasn't impressed and I guess it just sort to set this test on me.”

 

“To see if anyone could forgive you. But why, that doesn't prove anything. And where is this spirit?” asked Saki. “Did it just decide… why did it want to see you?”

 

“Apparently we're supposed to be one in the same,” said Azula. “It's the reason that something seemed missing, or at least why I always felt so cold.”

 

“You are a rebirth, without the souls of your past?” asked Saki.

 

“Yeah, I guess that I had some, but without the part that was more than human,” said Azula.

 

“More than human? You mean that whatever you're a reincarnation of, it's not entirely human?” asked Saki. “Well, that would explain this I suppose, if it really did join with you again.”

 

“It did,” said Azula sleepily. She felt her eyes drop. “Good night Saki.”

 

She fell asleep instantly, comfortable in her friend's arms.

 

-----

 

“You need to wake up,” said a gentle voice near her head. Azula blinked her head and turned to look to see Saki leaning over her. “You have no idea what it took me to convince them that I wasn't the cause of you being passed out.”

 

“I'm sure that was very difficult to do that with everyone knowing I was outside during the thunderstorm,” said Azula sarcastically. She pushed herself up, while she knew that her back was killing her at the moment, but lying on her still injured chest hurt like hell. Saki helped her with a small smile.

 

“Actually, no one knew that but me and your uncle before that. I explained what happened, sorta. Without giving away who you were,” said Saki she stood up and went to the side.

 

“My uncle… bastard, he did know,” spat Azula, Saki giggled. Azula looked at her warily for a second. “How is it that you can go from totally angry to alright to who I am?”

 

“You know that I was happy when you called me your ghost, it meant that we were always meant to meet,” said Saki, Azula had no idea where the girl was going with this, but she hoped it wouldn't be too sappy. “It would mean that what I felt for you meant it was just remembering the things that I had forgotten when I feel into those deep sleeps. But, the more I was around you; my feelings would grow until I couldn't identify them. Then you turned out to be… you, just as I figured out what I wanted, and it freaked me out, and I blamed you for it all. But I can't fight…”

 

Azula shut her up with a kiss. The girl could be as sappy and cliché as Aang and Katara could be on their worst days. She really didn't want to hear it. She broke away from Saki's lips, the girl opening her eyes and then blushing a deep red. She looked shocked and a little out of her comfort zone. But the way she had acted meant she was interested, and perhaps even learning to accept the idea.

 

“What did you do that for?” asked Saki her voice a little chocked.

 

“You were going sappy on me,” said Azula with a smile. “I really didn't want to listen to it, so I thought I would speed things along.”

 

“How romantic of you,” said Saki sarcastically, rolling her eyes and standing up.

 

“I don't do romantic, I'm nothing if not practical,” said Azula, and then smiled. “I may change for you Saki, but nothing is going to make me listen to something like that until you can say it with a little more originality.”

 

“Picky,” teased Saki, holding a hand out for Azula to grip. Azula moved forward and gently touched Saki to bring her forward; Saki grabbed her hand and smiled thinly. “Give me time.”

 

“Right,” said Azula with a sigh sitting back and looking at her nails.

 

“You'll wait for me, right?” asked Saki with mock sweetness.

 

“Not like I have any choice,” said Azula seriously, but smiled and Saki hit her over the head.

 

“What about Sokka?” asked Saki, her voice only slowing a little worry.

 

“He's not attracted to me,” said Azula seriously. Saki looked more worried and frowned.

 

“Come on, get up before I decide that even considering dating you would mean I had headaches the rest of my life,” said Saki and helped Azula up. She led the blue haired girl to the mirror and turned her around. She turned her around and looked into a full length mirror, though she couldn't see the whole of her back. But of what she could see was a tattoo of a red bird that covered most of her back. No, not just a red bird a…

 

“Phoenix,” said Saki confidently.

 

“Why am I wearing a backless shirt?” asked Azula.

 

“What? Azula, you have a big ass tattoo of a phoenix that a spirit somehow inscribed on your skin, and if you hadn't noticed your chest doesn't ache anymore, it's just your back,” Azula blinked and concentrated. Saki was right, though it still stung like hell, it was only her back, not her other wounds like she had thought. “There aren't even any scars where they used to be.”

 

“Nope, now I've got this damn thing that sticks out worse than a sore thumb,” sighed Azula.

 

“Aang already knows about it,” said Saki with a laugh. “You could you try to be agreeable.”

 

“Then I wouldn't be me,” said Azula with a smirk over her shoulder.

 

“Azi, Saki,” the door was thrown open and Lux ran in. Azula glared while Saki sighed. Lux just stared. “What happened to your back Azi?”

 

“None of your concern Luz,” said Saki handing Azula a thin over shirt. Azula slipped it on. “Now, what is the big deal?”

 

“It's the sky, something is… taking it over,” said Lux. Both girls just stared at him. “The avatar is waiting for you on top of the roof.”

 

They both nodded and started heading in that direction, Lux close behind. The sky was turning black, the color slowly being drained away. They walked next to the avatar and his friends. The avatar was silently freaking out while cursing and muttering under his breath.

 

“What have they figured out?” asked Saki to Toph.

 

“Everything's wrong!” screamed Aang making them all jump. Saki didn't think her nerves would stand another the Avatars constant need to appear right in front of her face and practically scream what was wrong. “It seems that the spirit helped balance the world and now it's gone and the sky is turning black, because it was apparently a fire spirit…”

 

“Imagine that,” muttered Saki, Azula held in a smile, this was serious.

 

“And it's needed to keep the earth receiving the sun's rays, even though that makes no logical sense,” the Avatar now started pacing. “And it's just gone, there isn't even a trace of it left anywhere in the spirit world…”

 

“What about the physical world?” asked Saki, Azula stiffened and fought the urge to glare at the other girl.

 

“Why would a spirit… Yes, maybe it is,” said the Avatar with wide eyes.

 

“Well, a spirit isn't liable to just disappear, what happens if it's here,” asked Zuko.

 

“Then this happens,” said Aang with a wave at the sky. “Right Sokka?”

 

“You figured it out?” asked Azula, looking at the water tribesman in surprise. He preened under the supposed praise.

 

“Yup, you see, this spirit is the spirit of the phoenix. Since it is the representation of what the fire nation is. Nothing like the moon, but more like the two fish that represented it. Fire bending cannot exist without it, and as the world would have been eventually destroyed by the lack of the moon, so would it happen without the phoenix, just with more flash.”

 

“So, how do we balance it out? Aang said the spirit was in this world, do we need to send it up to the sky?” asked Toph.

 

“Actually, all we have to do is find the bird that it's been reincarnated into,” said Sokka with a shrug. “It shouldn't be too hard. The last bird that was the phoenix was killed here and the air benders did all they could to destroy it. They sealed the spirit so that it could not reincarnate, but it was uncertain what would happen once they did so, and at the last minute they figured out it would be fatal to all to kill the phoenix completely so they sealed most of the spirit inside the spirit world and allowed a piece to always be recreated here.”

 

“But wouldn't that make the phoenix a little unstable?” asked Katara.

 

“You have no idea,” muttered Saki, but hadn't kept her voice down so everyone heard and then stared at her. No, they weren't staring at her, but at something over her right shoulder. It was then that she noticed how incredibly dark it was. Not completely, but looking at the sky she saw that a few leagues away from them the darkness had spread, which meant that there was only black behind her. Still, from the lights playing across her skin she could swear that's where the greatest light was coming from. Saki turned, realization making her ears burn with humiliation. How couldn't she have guessed? She had heard from Azula's own mouth that she was the phoenix.

 

Azula was beautiful; her blue fire played gently all around her in small plumes. The flames seeped from her body, burning away her over shirt and leaving the barebacked one in its stead. Azula's gold eyes were hazed over, as if she had fallen into her own mind, her concentration only on the fire spiraling upwards into the only sunny spot left in this eternal night. Her blue hair made the effect even more enchanting.

 

The avatar seemed to find himself and shake a wake. He ran forward and touched his hand against the rays, just a centimeter from the blue flames. He closed his eyes and just breathed. They sprang open not a minute later.

 

“Katara, Toph, Zuko, Saki all of you come forward and offer your element to the fire,” commanded Aang. Saki felt uncertain, and saw her fear reflected in the other's eyes. But she could tell that the others trusted Aang with their lives and walked forward confidently even with their fear, Saki followed only a step behind.

 

The four benders lifted their hands. Katara drew a few drops of water from a water holder she always kept at her side and watched mournfully as the fire quickly evaporated it. Toph grabbed a handful of stone from the top of the building and the flames came and started to support its weight upwards, it appeared to be disintegrating, but it could have just been the effect of it rising. Zuko summoned fire to his palm, the red flames quickly absorbed into the blue. Saki made a small ball of air that was quickly run through by the greedy fire.

 

They all took a step back after their contribution. Aang remained standing, his face in lax concentration for only a minute before the arrows on his body lit a striking white glow that showed he was in the Avatar state. The very warmth around them seemed to press in and then release, throwing warmth and light back into the air. A quick session of images, too quick to understand, flashed in everyone's mind.

 

Saki pushed them to the side. All she could see that once again her friend was collapsing in a dead faint to the ground, small trickles of blood appearing under her already red tattoo.