Beyblade Fan Fiction ❯ How we came to be ❯ So cold ( Chapter 7 )

He looked at her desperately. It had been troubling him for quite a while now, but he needed to know. What about him made her so eager to forgive him, no matter what he did. Even after killing her brother she still came back (1). Was it because they had been through some rough stuff together and she felt the need to be like a mother to him? Or was it just because she pitied him?

“I can forgive you because it wasn't your fault. You're not in control of yourself right now.”

 

He hmphed. He had heard that reason before. She hadn't been right then, and she most certainly wasn't now. But she still tried to reason with him and started stroking his hair softly. Absently he loved it when she did that, it made him feel like he was wanted. Like someone actually cared about him. He had stopped doing that a long time ago. Because everyone he cared about and sometimes dared to love ended up getting hurt. Boris and Voltaire always made sure of that. Faith could never care for him. Not after what he had done to her. He was almost sure that she only pitied him and felt like she needed to be there to him. Yeah that was it. She was there out of pity. He ignored the sudden pain in his heart when he thought that.

 

“He's right you know.”

That had gotten Faith out of her own thoughts and made her cast a sideways glance of confusion in his direction. She wasn't in the condition to think clearly because she was focussing on willing her headache away and not shivering at the same time.

“I could've launched at you again.”

“Nonsense”

“You don't know Faith. You don't know what I was thinking when you were hanging there, gasping for breath.”

He paused for a moment hoping to find a very easy way to say it. He could see the look of confusion growing on her face. When she was about to ask the question of what he was thinking he spoke again.

 

“I-I-I liked it. I liked seeing you suffer. It gave me the intense feeling of power. It felt like I was in control of the world. I wanted to kill you.”

The last was said in a tone no louder than a whisper, but the pain, fear and sadness could still be clearly heard in it. The streaking in his hair had stopped and silently Kai hoped that she would continue that sign of affection, but knew that any kind of friendship he had with the girl were more than ruined. He had just confessed that he had wanted to kill her. People start to hate each other for less. He dared to cast a glance from his safe spot against her neck.

 

She seemed to be frozen. Mouth hanging open like she was trying to speak. Colours like a thousand rainbows passed in her eyes. Several shades of black, purple, brown and grey passed most, and some colours Kai hadn't even seen yet.

It was more than obvious that his statement had shocked her. How many times would anyone hear that his or her best friend had liked seeing them suffer, and that they had wanted to kill them? Never would come close to the number.

 

After a while her eyes stopped flickering between colours and settled on her beautiful blue orbs specked with brown. She grabbed his shoulders and looked him straight in the eye, as if she was trying to convince him.

“Like I said Kai, you weren't thinking straight. It's not your fault.”

“Is that an excuse for trying to kill you? Ray is right; I was still the one holding you by the throat. It was my hand that was strangling you. No matter what you say, that won't change. Maybe he's right about everything; maybe I should be sorry for ever being born. Maybe I should just let him beat me into a bloody pulp. At least it would serve me right.”

“Don't say that. Yes, it was your hand on my throat. But it was also your hand that let go and I'm still alive. If you're going to start to point the finger, you might as well point it at me for jumping in front of Tyson.”

“That's different. You were….”

 

It was only then that he noticed his friends pale face and the pained expression on it. Her breathing had become shallower and sweat was glistening from her effort to keep it steady.

“Are you alright Faith?”

“Just a headache that won't stop.”

“We got to get you to a hospital.”

“Are you kidding me? If an ambulance shows up here the press will blow the whole matter up in seconds. Tomorrow it'll be in the newspaper about how you went crazy and tried to stab everyone with a knife. I'll be fine, I just need some rest.”

The tone in her voice told him that she was trying to convince herself more than him. She tried to stand up, but before she could make another move he had already grabbed her and was placing her softly onto the bed.

“At least let me get a doctor. They got that confidentiality clause thingy remember?”

“Look it's not necce…”

“It would make me feel a lot more comfortable if there was a professional opinion about how you feel. Remember that pneumonia that was only a cold to you?”

She sighed. She knew that this was more than a light headache, but the last thing she needed was having Kai feel guiltier than he already felt.

“Alright, alright, but I'm telling you, all he'll say is that it's a slight headache and that I need rest. I'll go to my room now.”

“Oh now you won't. You're staying right here in the dark and silence. Less strain for your brain. Just rest, don't try to think too much and…don't fall asleep, k? I'll be right back'

 

Before Kai could even set foot outside his room he collided into Ray. His eyes narrowed. Had he been eavesdropping? If so then how much had he heard? He knew Ray had been lusting after Faith for some time now. Who could blame him; she had been the source of wet dreams to many. Kai couldn't remember his dreams, but if he could he would know that she had been the subject of some of his as well. Of course that would make him slap himself silly, so perhaps it was better that he didn't remember anything of his nightly desires. When he saw the look of shame and apology on Rays face he realised that his team mate had in fact been eavesdropping, but only to be able to intervene in case it went wrong.

“We'll discuss this later. Right now I want you to call a doctor. Tell him he needs to get here soon.”

“What do you mean?”

“I thought you had heard that.” Inwardly he smirked as he saw a blush spreading on Ray's cheeks. “She might have an internal bleeding somewhere in her brain. You know a vein that goes pop? What are you still doing here? You should've hung up the phone by now. Get the doctor.”

After Ray had left Kai kneeled next to Faith who looked scared even though the dark was hiding much of her expression.

 

“You really think I might have gotten an internal thing?”

He nodded. Well, so much for not trying to make him feel guilty. Kai just cursed the makers of this house for making these walls as thin as paper. He knew that she was scared of dieing even though she tried her best to hide it. Every time someone died in the convent she ran into the room and crept in the sheets like she'd seen a ghost. This always gave them a scare because she was always as cold as ice when that happened. It was like her body was telling the rest of them that there was something wrong with her.

He placed a hand on her forehead. Not really to check her temperature but just to let her know that he'd look after her.

 

“How are you feeling?”

“Like my head is about to explode”

“Don't worry, Ray's calling the doctor. I'm just going to get you some aspirin or something to lessen the pain.”

As he stood up a hand shot up from under the covers grabbing a piece of his pants and holding on to it tightly.”

“Please, don't leave me.”

“What?”

“I need you to keep me awake. Please keep me awake.”

“Don't worry, I'll only be gone for a second, I promise.”

“Please stay, I'm not stupid. I know falling asleep is a bad thing right now. I'm scared Kai. I need you with me.”

 

As he sat down again he mentally scratched the note that said that she still stayed with him out of pity. Kai grabbed the hand that had a vice grip on his pants. It felt like ice and he warmed it up absentmindedly.

“It's ok, I'm here. I'll stay.”

“Kai?”

The voice sounded so unsure but there was an undertone that sounded like she was already going to know the answer to the question she was going to ask. But as a saying in her country goes. You always have a no, but you can get a yes. (2)

“I'm cold.”

It wasn't really a question, but it was enough to make Kai get the point. He cursed himself. As a pureblood Russian he never had any problems with colder temperatures and settled with a light blanket to keep him warm at nights. But she was Belgian and right now she was indeed freezing cold. Without even a second thought he crawled under the covers and held her in a tight hug. He shivered as his warmth came in touch with her body. Even here clothes seemed to be frozen.

 

“Sorry.”

“Don't worry; I should've known you were an icicle. I just hope I won't get stuck to you like Tyson's tongue to that lamppost last December.”

She snorted. It had been a funny sight and they were still teasing Tyson with it every chance they got, but this time he had said it to keep her mind of him. He was thinking deeply about the mysterious creature named Faith at the moment.

He had nearly killed her, confessed to her that he had wanted to do so and she wasn't accepting any apologies from him. And now, she was apologising to him for being cold herself. He just didn't get it. It had all been his fault, if he hadn't gotten addicted he would've never gotten into rehab and he would have never hurt her.

A sudden line of light shone into the room and Kai looked around hoping it would be the doctor.

Unfortunately it wasn't.

 

 

 

 

 

A/N thought the notes were necessary this time, it won't become a habit, I promise.

(1): eum, not really important in this ficcie, but shortly explained -> she was in the convent with her little bro, Kai gets brainwashed and ends up getting her bro killed. More info, check out guilt the whole enchilada is explained there.

(2)For the dutchies amongst u guys :P this is how it goes: Een Nee hebde, een ja kunde krijgen. I don't know if we're the only country that has something in that style but hey, I'll just keep it to Belgium and perhaps the Netherlands in this story. ^^ simplifies matters a lot. If anyone knows the English saying, please share it with me.