Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Daydreams Come True ❯ Keigo? ( Chapter 8 )

Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters.

 

Sorry for the delay. I lost the plot.

 

And the featured character is:

 

Keigo

 

Keigo was bored. No one had been around for the last few days and he was sick of playing video games and being picked on by his own sister. Didn't she understand that he was the head of the house and she should listen to him? Okay, she was older and earned the money. And she cooked and had more common sense and was better than him at most things. But he was still the male. Males were superior.

 

With his awesome masculine strength he could defeat any woman. Well, maybe he couldn't defeat Tatsuki. Or his sister and though he hadn't really tried he didn't think he would have much luck defeating Honshou. Maybe he would be able to defeat Ichigo's sister with his fearsome male muscles. Not Karin, she was pretty fierce. Yuzu, yes, he could defeat Yuzu, with help. As long as Ichigo didn't find out.

 

I apologise for the following interruption to the planned storyline.

 

What, you don't want to read a story about Keigo? What are you saying? You prefer Rukia and Ichigo? Or Rukia, Ichigo with a slight touch of Renji. Okay. How about a compromise? Rukia and Renji.

 

This is not how I originally planned this story, but I can't write a chapter featuring Chad. I've tried and it was dire.

 

This is not a happy chapter. If you remember in Chapter 6 Renji was furious with Rukia. He now has a chance to talk to her.

 

Warning: Be prepared for anger, recriminations, dark imagery and strong language.

 

Renji

 

`Get out of here. I want to talk to the prisoner in private. Go on, get,' Renji yelled at the guards outside Rukia's cell. It was obvious he was angry.

 

`What authority do you have to order this, Renji?' asked one of the guards.

 

Renji slapped him hard. The palm of his hand cracked against the cheek of the man who had questioned him, slamming his head into the wall.

 

`That's Assistant Captain Abarai, to you, moron. That is my authority. Now clear out, or you may find yourself in an adjoining cell. Or would you prefer to face Zabimaru?'

 

The guard gulped. `Leaving right now, Assistant Captain Abari. I apologise for questioning you Assistant Captain,' he spluttered as he left as quickly as the shreds of his dignity allowed. The other guard followed, looking bewildered.

 

Renji watched them leave.

 

`In a good mood I see, Mr Assistant Captain,' a cool voice addressed him.

 

`What's it to you Rukia?'

 

`As you want to talk to me in private, I imagine it has everything to do with me, Mr Assistant Captain. Or should I just call you sir?'

 

`Don't play games with me, Rukia. I'm not in the mood. I want some answers.'

 

Rukia turned to him, her face an impassive mask. `Games, Mr Assistant Captain? I wouldn't dream of playing games with an important man like you. I don't have time for games, Mr Assistant Captain. I will be sentenced to death. I have heard the rumours. All I'm waiting for is the formal announcement,' her voice was laden with sarcasm and an almost undetectable touch of fear.

 

`So will you talk to me?' Renji asked his fury unabated.

 

`I am flattered that the important Mr Assistant Captain wishes to converse with me, but I do not feel in the mood for conversation. Goodbye, Mr Assistant Captain, Sir,' Rukia replied.

 

`Stop it, Rukia,' Renji said harshly. `Stop trying to provoke me. I want you to talk to me. I want information.' He grasped the bars of her cell, thrusting his face close to them.

 

Meeting his glare, Rukia's expression did not change.

 

`What possible information could I provide a Mr Assistant Captain?' Rukia wondered aloud. `I'm sure I should feel privileged that you deign to visit such a humble prisoner as myself, but I don't know how I can assist you. Please try to find someone who cares.'

 

As was planned these words angered Renji further.

 

`You callous bitch', he hissed. `You used to care. I can see all that's changed.'

 

`Care? Me? Care about you? When was that? How could a humble person like me aspire to care for a person of your exalted status, Mr Assistant Captain, Sir?'

 

They glared at each other. Anger and pain evident in Renji's glare while Rukia's carefully composed demeanour wavered.

 

`I want to know, Rukia,' his voice low and menacing, Renji stepped back from the bars, trying to control his anger.

 

`Know? Know what? What is so important to an important person…?'

 

Renji's hiss cut off Rukia's words.

 

`I want to know everything. All the sordid, petty details. Tell me everything.'

 

`Everything,' she mused, her voice tense. `Well, I think the universe started because of a large explosion….'

 

A large explosion occurred on the other side of the bars as Renji lost control. He shook the bars furiously as if he could force Rukia to take him seriously by his expression of violence. Instead she laughed.

 

`Mr Assistant Captain! Aren't you supposed to set a good example for your subordinates and for people from other divisions,' Rukia mocked. `I'm sure your Captain would be disappointed in such unseemly behaviour.'

 

`Bitch! Unfeeling bitch,' Renji screamed the last shred of his self control rapidly diminishing. Letting go of the bars he ran to the wall. He punched the wall many times, making a large hole but not dispelling his anger. He continued punching until blood streamed from his broken skin. `Why won't you take me seriously? Who do I have to kill to get you to take me seriously?'

 

Rukia paled at the violence of his words and from witnessing the violence of his actions.

 

`Leave me alone, Mr Assistant Captain. We have nothing to talk about.'

 

`But you are going to talk to me, now,' Renji insisted. `I'll stay here day and night until you answer me. Don't you understand? I need to know.'

 

`Day and night. Maybe you should ask to have a bed brought in. You need to know what exactly? Which flowers I want at my funeral? If I've left you anything in my will? Okay, I want scented freesias at my funeral and you're not in my will. I haven't written a will,' Rukia's voice became cold.

 

Renji ignored her sarcasm. `I want you to tell me what happened in the human world. I want to know why you didn't return. Tell me everything,' Renji demanded.

 

Rukia's shoulders drooped. `Why should I talk to you? You tried to kill me. You almost succeeded in killing Ichi... .' her voice faltered and she looked at the floor, silently.

 

Renji quickly too advantage of the change in attitude. He smiled, bitterly.

 

`Yes, I nearly succeeded in killing that boy. What was his name? Ichigo. Yeah, sure he must be dead by now. He was cut up enough. Stupid kid.'

 

Rukia turned away from Renji, concealing her expression so Renji could only see her back.

 

`Are you crying for him? Crying for the boy? Why? You only knew him for 2 months,' Renji stated.

 

`I am not crying for him. I'm not crying at all,' Rukia's unsteady voice replied. `I just don't want to look at your face, Mr Assistant Captain. The funky tattoos scare me.'

 

`Once you liked to look at my face. You liked to look at all of me, Rukia.' His tone low, Renji urged, `Don't you remember? That time…'

 

Rukia interrupted. `That was a long time ago, Mr Assistant Captain. Our circumstances were different. I was different. I don't choose to remember the past. I have other thoughts to occupy me. If that is all…'

 

`It isn't all, Rukia. Not nearly enough,' Renji cut in, the anger returning to his voice. `I want to understand.'

 

Rukia turned to face him, unshed tears in her eyes.

 

`How could you understand? The Renji I knew in Inuzuri may have understood, but you aren't that person. Your blind ambition seems to have wiped away all traces of my friend. I'll say it again. We have nothing to talk about, Mr Assistant Captain. I hope you are happy with your position and power. They are what you always wanted,' Rukia, dashed the tears away from her eyes.

 

Renji stared at Rukia, a mixture of shock and fury on his face. He opened his mouth, as if to say something and then shut it. He closed his eyes and shook his head as if rejecting her comments.

 

`I am the same Renji you knew in Inuzuri,' he insisted angrily. `I am still your friend.'

 

`Friends don't try to kill you,' Rukia said quickly, temper in her tone. `Friends ask questions and judge later. Friends trust. Friends don't kill the people who are trying to protect your friends. Friends don't blindly obey orders. So when did you act like my friend, recently, Mr Assistant Captain? To me it appears you've been acting like my enemy.'

 

Spitting out the last word, Rukia sagged. Her anger seemed to leave her with the final sentence. Her eyes became unfocused as she withdrew into herself.

 

Renji blinked, shocked at the venom in her voice and the truth in her words.

 

`I didn't mean,' he began and stopped regretting his momentary impulse to apologise. He started again, intending to gain control of the situation.

 

`I don't need to explain my actions to you. You are the person who owes the explanation. You acted improperly. Your brother was so shamed by your behaviour that he requested the responsibility of returning you to Seireitei. Since you returned you have not offered any justification for your actions and absence. You refuse to cooperate with your guards. You sulk, you refuse to eat. And now you decline to answer my questions. It's not good enough Rukia,' as he spoke his voice became louder until again he was yelling at the unyielding form facing him.

 

Rukia did not answer, did not show any sign that she had even heard his words. Her eyes watched him distantly as if the words were addressed to another person.

 

Renji waited. No response.

 

`Say something. Answer me, Rukia! Explain,' he demanded.

 

`No.' That one word held a wealth of sadness and resignation. Again, Rukia turned away, moving away from the bars, into the shadows, as if to distance herself as far as possible from Renji.

 

Renji was bewildered but still furious. Rukia should be fighting back. This person in the cell was so distant, so bitter and so sad. Earlier, she had been angry. What was going on?

 

`Why won't you talk to me? Are you a coward, Rukia? Skulking in the shadows like a hollow. Afraid to confess your dirty secrets? Are you scared that once everyone knows the truth, you will be shamed even more?' Renji harshly hurled his accusations at the partially concealed figure of Rukia.

 

`You don't know anything, Mr Assistant Captain,' Rukia's voice came softly from the shadows. `I don't care anyway. I'll be dead soon. Shame and honour are unimportant to me. Tell any stories you like, create any lies. I see no point in talking to you further. I had hoped to talk with my friend once more, but he is not here. I mourn his loss.'

 

The grief in Rukia's words was not lost on Renji. He let go of the bars he was holding so tightly and walked to the wall he had punched so recently and leant his back against it. Looking at the ceiling, trying to find words, Renji slid down the wall until he was sitting on the floor. He could think of nothing to say. He was still angry, but anger wasn't working. Whenever anger was expressed, Rukia countered it with laughter or coldness or the bitter truth. Possibly she no longer feared his anger. He began to feel a sense of defeat. That immediately reminded him of the last time he felt this type of defeat. It was when he had visited the human world, when he had decided to only feel the justifiable anger that was his right. Maybe it was time to use knowledge instead of anger.

 

`So, Rukia, was he better than me? That boy, Ichigo? ' he asked in the mocking tone she hated.

 

A gasp from the shadows encouraged him to continue.

 

`Did he know how old you are? Did you even tell him before you fucked him?'

 

No further reaction from the shadows, but Renji continued.

 

I think it's pretty sick, an adult like you seducing a boy like that. Most people would find it pretty disgusting. God knows what your brother would say, or your captain. But it doesn't matter if I tell anyone. You said it doesn't matter, so I may as well tell everyone. I'm sure they will enjoy this piece of gossip about the criminal.'

 

Renji waited. He could hear her breathing growing more ragged.

 

`It's a good thing he's dead. I hope he got a farewell screw before he died. Did he, Rukia?' His eyes half closed, Renji observed the movement in the shadows.

 

Rukia emerged from the shadows her face white with anger. Her eyes were cloudy as if she had been close to crying.

 

`Shut up, Renji,' she hissed. `Shut your foul mouth. You are talking about something you couldn't possibly understand.'

 

Renji rose from the floor and moved close to the bars.

 

`What can't I understand? Sex? I think I understand sex better then you. Or are you going to talk about that great lie: love? If so, don't bother. Not interested.'

 

`You're not interested because you never experienced it,' Rukia stated as firmly as her wavering voice would let her. `I said you wouldn't understand and you don't.'

 

`Oh, I was in love, once,' Renji said, the anger in his voice almost choking him. `I loved someone so much that I was prepared to do anything so we could be together.'

 

Rukia looked shocked. `Who? Who…'

 

Renji looked at her incredulously. `Who? You ask me who? I can't believe you don't know. You must know,' he said hoarsely. `You've got to know.'

 

Rukia shook her head. `I don't know. How can I know? I haven't been here for the last 2 months.'

 

`It didn't happen in the last two months. It didn't happen in the last five months,' Renji started to laugh bitterly.

 

Rukia watched him, her expression indicating that she thought he was losing it.

 

`God, Rukia, you are such a fool. I loved you, of course. Who else?' Renji continued to laugh.

 

`Stop it, Mr Assistant Captain,' Rukia sighed. `I don't want to hear your lies. You may have loved me as a brother, but not much more. Stop twisting the facts because you feel your male pride has been injured. Yes, we had sex with each other Renji, but it was only one night.'

 

`One night which changed my life, just as watching you another night in the human world changed my life again,' he paused as he heard her gasp at his words. `I do know. I know you were screwing the boy.'

 

Neither of them spoke. Renji, because his throat filled with bile at the memory. Rukia, because the pain of loss was too intense.

 

`None of this makes sense to me,' Rukia finally said. `I didn't sense your reiatsu. Which night are you talking about? You came to the human world with my brother and nothing happened that night.'

 

`I was there the night before your brother and I brought you back. I saw you with the boy. If ever you are in that situation again, which I doubt, it might be an idea to close the curtains. It was hard for me to watch the woman I loved kissing another person, removing his clothes,' Renji stopped, the memories of that night racing through his brain. His anger returned full force.

 

`I couldn't believe it Rukia. After that night we shared. I saw you give that boy the look, the look that should only be meant for me,' the pain of uttering the words made Renji's voice crack. He felt nauseous.

 

`I don't know what you're talking about and I didn't know Assistant Captains were also stalkers. What right did you have to watch me?' Rukia's voice had a previously unheard sharpness.

 

`The right as your lover, Rukia,' Renji said his voice hoarse.

 

`Mr Assistant Captain, we had sex one night. Maybe we had sex many times that night, but we were not, nor ever have been, lovers. Sexual partners perhaps but love was not mentioned on that occasion. I think I would remember,' Rukia's' tone had turned bitter.

 

`I thought you knew,' Renji began.

 

Rukia interrupted, `Know? How could I know? Was I supposed to read your mind? During that night we didn't talk much. After than night, you didn't say anything about love. You never referred to that night until now. When we entered Soul Reaper Academy, I didn't see you very often. We were in different classes, we both made new friends. When we were together you treated me the same as you had treated me in Inuzuri. I heard the rumours. There were some who said they should install a revolving door on your room because of the number of sexual partners you had. I mean no one minded except me because you never misled anyone into thinking it was anything more than sex. But Renji, what was I meant to think? Was that meant to be an expression of love? I thought that you had disliked having sex so much with me because I was either so bad or inexperienced that you wanted to forget by bedding anyone who would agree. Then you encouraged me to agree to the adoption. I thought you wanted me further away from you. I hardly saw you after I was adopted which seemed to confirm my fears. How does that indicate love, Mr Assistant Captain? Please tell me how I was supposed to know?' Again Rukia was near tears.

 

Renji gaped at her. `How could she not know?'

 

`I tried to forget that one night, but I didn't want to. I thought it was my fault because I was inexperienced and crap at sex. You had been pretty active in Inuzuri, I know. You had points of comparison but there was nothing I could compare that night to. I was a virgin. I thought I had disappointed you. Of course I didn't mention how I felt about you. I wanted to keep your friendship and I thought reminding you might break the friendship. But I remembered every detail for so long. I would lie awake wishing it was me who was in your bed. I longed for you. I wanted to touch you, but I suppressed those thoughts and just thought about friendship. Most of all I wanted your happiness. I didn't take any one to my bed because I had the faint hope that you might one day….Oh, forget it. It is too long ago. We can't rewrite the past. It's too late Mr Assistant Captain,' the catch in her voice was unmistakable.

 

Renji felt like a fool. She had loved him. He had loved her but never told her and had acted as if he didn't care. He'd been too intent on his own feelings. Finally he looked at his actions in the Academy and cringed. If she'd acted the way he had he would never have thought of love and was doubtful if he'd want to be friends.

 

`I planned to marry you, Rukia,' Renji finally said.

 

`Too late for that, Mr Assistant Captain. Bad form to propose to a criminal. As I said it was long ago. Many things have happened since then. I don't mourn the past; I just regret the loss of your friendship and that I have no future. I regret that Ichigo had to die,' Rukia was now crying.

 

`He was your lover. He had to die,' Renji said stolidly.

 

`Why? Because you were jealous?' Rukia wiped her eyes and took a deep breath. `It's a pretty poor reason to kill someone you don't even know. You and I were over long ago Renji, at least in my mind. You didn't even come to comfort me when Kaien died. I know there were rumours about us. Maybe I made a fool of myself, but he was so kind to me. His love for his wife inspired me. I know now that I didn't love Kaien. It was a crush mixed with admiration and respect. Remember, it was my hand that killed Kaien; I will never forget that.'

 

`Is that why you fucked the boy? Because he looked like Kaien?' Renji demanded bitterness and anger returning to his voice.

 

`It's none of your business, Mr Assistant Captain,' Rukia replied coldly.

 

`It is my business, now. I need to know,' Renji urged.

 

`It is nothing to do with you. It's over now. Ichigo is dead and soon I will be dead. You have a future, Renji. Please just leave me alone,' Rukia said sadly.

 

`Can't you understand? I became an assistant captain just for you, not for the power. I thought if I became an assistant captain no one could object if we married. I loved you so much I was prepared to go to any lengths. I keep telling you, I want to understand why you betrayed me,' Renji stopped and bit his tongue. He hadn't meant to say that, even if it was the way he felt.

 

`An interesting choice of words, Mr Assistant Captain. Betrayal. Just trickles off the tongue, and leaves a bad taste in the mouth and the mind. I don't know how you can call my actions a betrayal,' Rukia paused and sighed. `Maybe if I tell you how it happened, you will leave.' Rukia turned her back to Renji, as if not facing him would make the recital easier.

 

She spoke without inflexion, just saying the words as if they meant nothing and referred to another person. `At first I was attracted to him because he reminded me of Kaien. But as I spent time with him I found I liked him. He amused me and was such a fool sometimes. It impressed me that he tried so hard and did so well with the little training I could give him. There were so many reasons I liked him. Something happened one night and I acted without thinking about the consequences. One thing led to another and we had sex. I don't want to go into detail but I accidentally said Kaien's name at the wrong moment. We fought, he told me to leave, then I realised I loved him. Eventually, we confessed our feelings to each other. He knew Kaien was dead, but I didn't tell him that I killed him. I couldn't. We knew we didn't have a future. I didn't think of you because there was nothing to think about. End of story.'

 

Renji looked at her back and noticed she was holding herself tightly upright. The telling had pained her. He thought through the information she had just provided. Then he laughed, hollowly.

 

`You mean you said Kaien's name when…..'

 

Rukia cut him off. `It wasn't funny then and it isn't funny now. If you remember I said I didn't want to go into detail. It doesn't matter anyway. Now you know, leave me alone, please.'

 

As Renji looked at her back all his anger left him and he was saddened by his future loss. `Rukia, won't you let me be a friend to you? We were friends once. Can't we be friends again?'

 

`Not now Renji. Not right now. You have been tormenting me these last hours, reminding me of my impending death and other things I'm trying to forget. That is not the action of a friend. A jealous ex-lover perhaps, but not a friend,' was the response Rukia gave.

 

`I'm…I'm sorry. I'm a thoughtless bastard. The whole thing is torturing me. When I saw you kiss that boy, I thought. Oh, hell. I wanted to kill you both.' The memory started provoking Renji again, the anger making him careless. Sometimes truth is not pretty.

 

`I thought you were laughing at me. When I came back to Seireitei that night, I'm not sure I was sane. I planned it all. I wanted to be the one who delivered the death blow to the boy. I wanted to watch him die knowing that I was the instrument of his death. I wanted to kill him in front of you then bring you back here and screw you with his blood still on my hands, the image of his dead body still in your mind,' Renji knew he should stop, but the words continued to pour out. `I was going to tell you how it felt to kill him. I would make you remember as I described every blow, every spurt of blood, every cut. Remind you of how you had been the cause of his death. My dreams, my plans had been shattered. I was furious, no that word doesn't describe how I felt,' Renji stopped as Rukia turned to face him.

 

It scared him to look at her face. White was a poor word to describe the colour. The eyes were staring, the pupils shrunk within the iris; the look was deep and frightening. Her lips were drawn back from her teeth.

 

`I think you've said enough Assistant Captain Abari,' Rukia said slowly. Renji had never heard that tone in her voice before. `Now leave before I kill you. I don't know how, but I will kill you.'

 

The situation was absurd. Renji laughed mirthlessly. How could she kill him while locked in her cell?

 

`Let me finish, Rukia,' he commanded. `Let me finish what I need to say and then you can kill me. I don't care if I die,' he ignored Rukia's raised eyebrow and expression of disdain. `I know that my plans were stupid and vindictive. When I saw you standing in front of your brother in the human world, I remembered that before we were lovers, you were my friend. I may not have acted like a friend, since you've returned but, I was, no, I still am, so angry. I'm telling you this because when we were friends we didn't keep secrets from each other. I thought if I told you everything you might begin to comprehend how I felt. When the boy was protecting you, I was jealous because I thought that was my role, to be your protector. He had your powers and it felt in some ways that I was fighting you to the death as I fought him. Anger and pain confused me. I didn't want to hurt you the way I'd planned. It wouldn't have been possible anyway seeing they're treating you like a criminal. I didn't know that the charges against you were being taken so seriously. Today, when I came in I just wanted to apologise. Then you started on me and wouldn't tell me anything that I thought I needed to know. Crap. I'm not making sense. Let me start again,' Renji sighed and rubbed his face. He paused for a moment.

 

`I apologise. I'm sorry about the boy. I'm sorry for all the words I've said that have hurt you, all the daydreams I've destroyed. You know I have no control over my tongue when I'm angry. Rukia, forgive me,' the pleading note in his voice sounded wrong.

 

`No.'

 

Renji looked at her. Her face was implacable.

 

`How can I forgive you? Think on what you have said to me today. Now leave.'

 

The strength of her words overwhelmed him. Her expression told him there was no point in talking to her further.

 

`Okay, Rukia. I'm going. I can see there is no point in talking to you at the moment.'

 

Renji left. He knew that he had probably said the unforgivable thing, but he needed to say it. Hell knew what compulsion had driven him. If only he could repeat the last few hours he could change things.

 

He faced the reality that he may have lost Rukia's friendship just before he lost Rukia forever. He cursed his tongue, his life, Seireitei, the boy, his broken dreams and Rukia. It shouldn't have happened this way. He would try talking to her tomorrow. God knows if it would help, but he had to try.

 

 

Author's Note:

 

I hesitated a long time before I added this chapter.

 

Please review if you enjoy the story and want me to update.

 

Thank you to the people who have reviewed the story so far. I appreciate the positive comments and suggestions.

 

MS