Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Daydreams Come True ❯ Rukia ( Chapter 9 )

Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters.

 

Rukia reflect on Renji's visit. Warning: Lemon ahead.

 

Rukia

 

Rukia stared at the wall of the cell as she listened to Renji leave. When she was sure he had gone, she waited a few seconds, making certain that she was alone. When she was sure that no one was near, she howled. She howled her anger and her grief at the walls. Her despair, fear, hatred and loss made the howl harsh and she could not recognise the voice as her own. She stopped, unwilling to let anyone witness her display of emotion but she needed the release. She knew the guards would return soon after Renji left.

 

One of the things she hated so much about being in this cell was the lack of privacy. There were always guards or shinigami gawking at her. She had been pleased when Captain Ukitake had taken time to visit her but he could not stay long.

 

The shock she had felt when Renji had appeared in the human world had been pleasant, at first, for a second or so. Then it had become ugly. She had to watch as Ichigo was at first ridiculed and then defeated. Rukia had little hope that he survived the killing blows delivered by her brother.

 

Since she had been in prison she had some time to think, but no time to mourn. How could she give into grief when people might be watching? It was important that she did not show any signs of weakness. Even though she may have shamed her brother and her family by her actions in the human world, she could act with dignity while in prison. She may have told Renji that she did not care, but she did. It was important not to show weakness when in a powerless position. She regretted that he had seen her unshed tears and that he had goaded her into such rage.

 

Until Renji had visited, it had been difficult but not impossible. With his visit the situation had become harder. She rubbed her temples. `Everything's changed' she thought. `Finally, he tells me how he feels, when it's too late. He tells me when I find it hard to even bear his presence. I wish I could have killed him. If only my kido was functioning, I would have killed him. The garbage talk that came out of his mouth was unforgivable.'

 

She heard a shuffle at the door as the guards returned. Rukia looked around the cell and sat on the chair. Behind her she heard the guards complain about the earlier events.

 

`That Renji has become so rude since he made Assistant Captain. Anyone would think he had noble blood in him. I remember…'

 

`You remember wrongly. He always was an arrogant bastard, but he has reason to be. I mean he convinced Byakuya Kuchiki to take him as assistant captain and you know how hard he is to please. Renji always hung around with the other cadets who showed the most promise,' the other guard replied very quietly.

 

Rukia could not see what was happening but guessed that it had finally dawned on them who they were guarding. They continued their conversation in whispers but she could still hear if she listened very carefully. It was better than reflecting on her conversation with Renji.

 

`I can't believe Captain Kuchiki let his own sister be put in jail. It seems a bit cool,' whispered the first.

 

`And why did Renji want to talk to her alone? He doesn't usually show so much interest in prisoners, does he Ban?' The second replied. `I was pretty shocked when he hit you. He doesn't normally act that way. He's usually not so formal either. I've never had to call him Assistant Captain Abari before. What's eating him?'

 

`Don't you mean who?' sniggered Ban. `Maybe he hoped for some luck here. I heard that he was friends with the prisoner, once. I suppose that's why he visited her. Are you hoping to go to the execution, Kai? You've heard the rumours. She's going to be sentenced formally soon.'

 

`You know only captains and assistant captains can attend, or if you have a seat. I'm pleased I don't have a seat. Too much competition. I still want to know why Renji was so angry. Never seen him in that mood before. I mean he loses his temper, but not like that. Good thing he didn't try to get in the cell. Don't know what would have happened. He didn't seem too happy when he left, either,' Kai reflected.

 

`We'll probably never know what his problem is. Can't say I really care, either. Just wish he hadn't hit me so hard. I keep forgetting how strong he is,' Ban said, his voice returning to normal as he became more immersed in the conversation.

 

`Yeah, amazing how quickly he got to be Assistant Captain. These last two months he's really been pushing himself. I've heard rumours, but I don't know whether to believe them,' Kai replied.

 

`Yeah, what sort of rumours? Juicy I hope.'

 

`No, just that he's stopped laying anything that moves. Wonder why he reformed? Maybe because he got the promotion? I don't know,' sighed Kai.

 

`This is boring. I don't want to talk about Assistant Captain Abari. So, what you doing when you get off duty?' Ban asked.

 

`Not sure, yet. You got any plans?'

 

`Want to go out for a drink?'

 

Rukia stopped listening as the conversation became more general. She wasn't interested in their plans for the evening.

 

Looking at the wall didn't really interest her. One of the problems with this prison was there was nothing to do but think, or listen to gossip. In an effort to absorb herself she again tried to locate cracks in the walls. She had quickly tired of counting the number of bars in her cell. Finding cracks in the wall took longer. Anything to provide a distraction from thinking about Ichigo, Renji and her yet to be announced execution.

 

That brief thought flickering across the edges of her mind brought it all back, just as Renji's cruel words had earlier. Each word he uttered had been a blow that made her mind reel until she could no longer bear to hear him or see him.

 

`Ichigo is dead, killed by my brother. I don't think it would be possible for him to survive. I will never see him again,' the thought beat relentlessly in her brain. `I loved him and he is dead. It's not possible that he survived. Even if he did survive he would no longer be a shinigami. I'll never see him again.'

 

Rukia put her hand to her mouth and bit down on her curled index finger hoping that the physical pain might block some of the emotional pain. She bit harder as the physical pain did not seem to register and harder again until the metallic taste of blood flooded her mouth. The taste of blood was comforting. It proved that she still existed. A sharp salty taste joined the metallic taste in her mouth as the tears she did not want to shed flowed freely down her face.

 

`Ichigo is dead. I know I am going to die. Ichigo is dead. I know I am going to die. Do I want to continue living? What future is there for me? My brother hates me and is shamed by me. Renji; Renji loved me. Why didn't he tell me before? If he had told me, would I have fallen in love with Ichigo?' Rukia shook her head, ignoring the blood streaming from her mouth and the tears dampening her clothing. `I don't know. Loving Ichigo is something that I couldn't control. Maybe it would be a lot easier if it hadn't happened. It did happen and now he's dead and I'm going to die. I left him with those cold words. I didn't have the chance to tell him I loved him once more before he died. I saw his eyes. He was hurt. Oh, God, if only I could go back and tell him just once more. If I could just see him with that arrogant grin on his face. If only I could hold him, make love with him again. He'll never touch me again. I want to die, but let it be soon.'

 

Rukia continued to weep silently as she thought about Ichigo. They had only discovered they loved each other a short time before. They were still in the phase of the relationship where they couldn't get enough of each other. Every time they were alone they would make love. She loved the feel of his body against hers. The way he kissed her. Oh God, she was having erotic thoughts about a dead man. But she was dead now or nearly.

 

Watching Ichigo bleeding and dying had made her care less about her own survival. She had told Renji that they knew they didn't have a future, but that was a lie. They had never talked about the future; the future had not been as important as the present. It was just as well they had lived for the moment because the moments were not many. Maybe they would meet in the next life. She wasn't really sure what would happen when she died, if there was another heaven; or if she would be reborn. No one really talked about it. It didn't matter. She wanted to forget. If she was reborn she would forget and all this pain would be no more. Unconsciously she removed her finger from her mouth and wiped it on her clothes. The physical pain had not removed any of her emotional pain.

 

`I miss Renji, my friend Renji. The person I could trust most in the world. That cruel person was not him. Sure Renji would insult me, but never just hurt me like that. How can I forgive him? He didn't even try to understand. He didn't even look past his own pain to see mine. How can that be considered the actions of a friend? Why did he say those unspeakable things before he asked to be my friend? Renji could never control his tongue. I wonder if the guards were right when they said Renji had stopped laying anything that moved. Not that I care,' she thought.

 

Rukia again examined the wall for new cracks. Her thoughts were not bringing her any comfort or solace.

 

The day darkened into night. A meal was served but she ate none of it. The thought of food did not appeal to her. She sipped the water to take the taste of blood from her mouth, but barely glanced at the meal.

 

Once the meal had been removed she began to pace the cell. Action was better than inaction, but neither provided enough distraction. Finally she lay down, overcome by emotional exhaustion and slept, her dreams violent and vivid. She awoke a few times to find her face wet with tears that she shed while she slept. She dreamt of her futile attempts to go to Ichigo. She dreamt of her words of disdain. She woke sweating and uncomfortable with a feeling of guilt. She lay there, eyes open, staring into the darkness not thinking, just feeling the mixture of raw emotions that tormented her while she was awake and during her sleep.

 

Gradually her eyes became heavy. Was she asleep? She was back in Ichigo's room the night they had visited Orihime and confronted Kon. They had just returned from killing hollows. She remembered it so well.

 

Ichigo had just climbed through the window and she was standing waiting for him. He moved quickly toward her. She backed away, teasingly, as he started unbuttoning her shirt while kissing her. She loved the way his tongue caressed her own and the feel of his lips. Her back was now against the cupboard.

 

`I love the short skirt of your school uniform,' he said as he slipped his hand inside her pants, stroking her. `It makes it so much easier to do this,' he breathed as his fingers aroused her and he finished removing her shirt.

 

She closed her eyes momentarily, enjoying the feeling of his probing fingers, but then pulled away.

 

`At least get back into your body, Ichigo,' she said mockingly. `I don't feel right getting too aroused, while your body is lying there.' She indicated his body lying naked on the bed.

 

Ichigo turned to look at his body. `Why did a hollow have to come just as we were about to...' he grumbled as he struggled back into his body.

 

Rukia moved closer to the bed, stripping off the rest of her clothes. `I don't know. You seemed a little distracted while you were battling the hollow.'

 

`A little distracted? Only a little? I'm pleased it didn't show more, because I had trouble concentrating on anything other than this,' Ichigo said, grabbing Rukia's hand and placing it on his hard on.

 

She gasped again as she felt the heat and silk of his cock. Without thinking she rubbed the shaft relishing the length and anticipating how it would feel inside her.

 

Ichigo quickly pulled her onto the bed and kissed her, one hand cupping her face, the other holding her head still as he thrust his tongue into her mouth.

 

He pulled away and looked at her. `Oh hell. I hope there are no interruptions this time. I can't believe you paid attention to that hollow alert thing when I was doing this to you.'

 

He quickly rolled Rukia onto her stomach and started kissing her back. She sighed as he licked her shoulder blades and ran kisses down her spine, occasionally nipping her skin. It tingled and felt good, very arousing, but it was more of a tease than a fulfilment. He had been kissing her like this when the hollow alert had interrupted them. She somehow knew it wouldn't happen this time.

 

`Enough Ichigo. It's erotic, but I thought you wanted more than this. Let me turn over,' Rukia said.

 

`Damn. I was hoping to try another position tonight. We don't want to get bored by using the same positions every time, do we,' Ichigo's voice had a wickedly sexual quality to it.

 

Rukia half turned and glared at him. He was looking at her grinning, expecting the glare. She quickly reached out and grasped his cock firmly. He gasped as he felt her touch.

 

`God, that feels good. I never get tired of you touching me. Kiss me Rukia,' Ichigo instructed.

 

She pulled him down beside her and began to kiss him lightly, little teasing kisses on his lips his chin, his cheeks, all the time stroking his cock, occasionally her hand moving onto his stomach and then caressing his chest.

 

`Not good enough. Kiss me properly, you tease,' Ichigo said opening his eyes and looking directly into hers.

 

Rukia realised that she wanted to kiss him properly, but wasn't going to obey any directions.

 

`This is my idea, not yours,' she said as she gently touched her lips to his. Her tongue teased between his lips as he parted them. Their tongues entwined and Ichigo's hand moved to Rukia's breast, touching it, teasing her nipple, exciting her further. She moaned through the kiss and Ichigo answered with his own moan as her thumb grazed the head of his straining cock.

 

Rukia immediately removed her hand, not wanting to overexcite her lover before she was ready. Ichigo's hand meanwhile had slipped down and his index finger was now exploring her again, slipping into her heat and moisture. Rukia gasped again, surprised at how excited she was.

 

Ichigo heard her gasp and acting on the encouragement quickly positioned himself above her and entered her with one hard thrust. Rukia assisted as much as possible, squirming with the feel of the thickness within. It felt so right. She kissed him hungrily as they lay thus joined, neither wishing to move as it would break the close contact they had with each other.

 

`I love you, Rukia,' Ichigo said intensely as he stroked her face. His eyes looked into hers deeply. `It's not just the sex. The sex is great, but I love you.'

 

`I love you too, Ichigo. Now perhaps we could move a bit. My libido needs a little more action,' Rukia groaned.

 

Ichigo began the thrusts she requested. Slowly withdrawing until the head of his cock was nearly out and then thrusting back in fast. The slow followed by the quick always excited her more, especially when he varied them, which he did. She ran her hands over his back, his chest as she responded to each thrust. His pace increased and she was beginning to feel signs of her oncoming orgasm.

 

Ichigo's breathing was becoming increasingly ragged. Rukia could tell he was close to coming, but she wasn't ready.

 

`Ummm, Ichigo. Maybe we should take a break,' she suggested reluctantly, close to her release, but not close enough.

 

He did not appear to hear her as the pace of his thrusts increased and he was soon shuddering with his release. Rukia was not pleased.

 

`Damn it, Ichigo. You could have waited for me,' she said with anger born from frustration.

 

`Damn it Rukia, you were the one touching and stroking my cock all that time. You know how excited I get when you touch me,' Ichigo sniped back, withdrawing.

 

`You said you liked it, that you never get tired of it,' Rukia replied quickly.

 

`When did I say that?' Ichigo demanded.

 

`Earlier, when you asked me to kiss you,' Rukia replied hotly.

 

`Oh, yeah. I do like it, but you know how it is. I get too excited. God, being near you is exciting enough, but when you touch me, I just find it hard to control myself. Sorry,' Ichigo apologised.

 

`Sorry doesn't help. It was really selfish of you,' Rukia said unappeased.

 

`It's because it's been so long,' Ichigo said suddenly.

 

`So long. But just yesterday ….,' Rukia said startled.

 

`It wasn't yesterday,' said Ichigo looking at her yearningly. `It seems so long ago. Don't you remember?'

 

Rukia shook her head, not wanting to be distracted from her anger.

 

`I'm still horny. What are you going to do about that, huh, Ichigo?' Rukia had slipped her hand between her thighs, trying to find some relief from her frustration with her fingers.

 

`Um, Rukia can I do that for you,' suggested Ichigo.

 

Rukia looked at him. His eyes had become hot and heavy again. He moved quickly replacing her fingers with his own. His thumb nudged her centre and she felt the heat overtake her. She closed her eyes. If only he had lasted a little longer.

 

Caught up in her disappointed lust she was surprised to feel the bed move as Ichigo changed position. She opened her eyes to see he was fully aroused again.

 

`Watching you touch yourself got me excited again, very excited,' Ichigo explained seeing her questioning look. `Touching you helped too. Can we try again?'

 

She nodded eagerly, but this time took control. She mounted him and eased his cock inside, moaning with pleasure as she felt him enter her again. This time he was more careful, and she paced the movements to bring maximum pleasure. While he was deep within her, Rukia licked and sucked at the sensitive areas of his neck biting gently as he moaned his enjoyment. Her passion grew ever greater. Each time she thought she was close to coming, the desire to hold back a little made her try to calm down. She would slow her movements to a gentle rocking movement that increased her excitement but was not quite as arousing for Ichigo. She wanted to be certain that Ichigo made up for the earlier disappointment. He was groaning with need as he tried to maintain his control. He thrust into her as she moved above him trying to increase the pace of her actions. They kissed passionately, his tongue swirling over hers, his teeth nipping gently as her tongue entered his mouth. One of Ichigo's hands moved to the area they were joined and he caressed her once more, encouraging her to lose control.

 

Hit touch made her tingle and she could not her orgasm any longer. Her body tensed as she felt the waves of pleasure overcome her. Her eyes closed and her body milked his cock as he came at the same time, emptying into her in convulsive spurts.

 

`Ichigo, I wish you weren't dead,' she gasped at the peak, the past and the present combining in her mind.

 

`I'm not dead, Rukia,' she heard Ichigo's voice in her mind. `I miss you. Wait.'

 

Shaken, Rukia woke up. She quickly got up and looked around the cell. At night the guards usually slept outside. There was no one to witness her guilty pleasure.

 

Rukia was shocked. Never before had she experienced an erotic dream to that level of detail. It contained some of the events of the last time she had sex with Ichigo, but there had been no argument or frustration. And that comment about it being some time since they were together. That was peculiar. Why had he said those words? Why had she dreamed that answer?

 

The dream was almost like it was actually happening. It was as if Ichigo had touched her, made love to her in reality, not just the dream. She blushed, embarrassed at the memory.

 

Rukia held her hands to her hot cheeks. `What is going on? Did the fight with Renji trigger the dream? It was only a dream, only a dream. But it felt so real. I wish it was real.'

 

The remembrance of the sweetness of their love was made all the sweeter because of the harshness of her reality. Tears leaked from her eyes, unwanted.

 

`I can't keep letting this happen. Crying is no use. Just makes me thirsty and tired. I won't cry any more,' she resolved.

 

She wiped her face and noticed it the black sky was turning to grey. It was finally morning. Another day closer to her execution. Rukia decided that she may as well count the cracks again, but could not summon much interest. She didn't want to think about the dream. It was too confusing. If she thought of something else it might help distract her, but it had to be something important. She would think about Renji.

 

Her anger at Renji remained but was being replaced by the longing for her friend. She thought about some of the things he had said, not the things about Ichigo. The words spoken about Ichigo had hurt too much for her to think about now, or possibly ever.

 

`Renji loved me. Present or past tense, I wonder. If he loved me why did he slept with so many others? It just doesn't make sense. Male logic, I suppose,' she thought. `Why didn't he tell me? Why did he think I knew? Am I supposed to get this information through the ether? He wanted to marry me. If only he would talk about important things to the people who needed to know. It only seems to come out when he's angry. It's all too late any way. I love….. Don't think about that. I'm going to die soon. No future. Is there any way out of here? Can I escape? If I escape where will I go? There's no point in returning to the human world. Ichi.. Damn. Must stop thinking about him otherwise I'll start crying again. Oh, Renji, why are you such a moron? Ichigo, why were you such a fool?'

 

`If only I had something to do, aside from thinking. If only they allowed me some kind of distraction. I suppose they don't because they want the criminal to realise the consequences of her ill-advised actions. All I can think about is death, Renji and Ichigo. I suppose thinking about Renji is a little more appealing than thinking about Ichigo. At least I can be angry at Renji. All I can feel is sorrow, loss and longing when I think about Ichigo. My only daydreams now are about death and release from this wretched half life. And my dream are distressing, even the erotic ones.'

 

`Why do I always lose the ones I love? Am I cursed to bring death and pain to those I love?' Rukia examined that thought. `Oh, listen to the drama queen. Sounds like some hapless heroine whining on about her life. I think I read one too many manga's in the human world,' Rukia upbraided herself.

 

The guards returned and started to gossip about what they had done the previous night. Rukia listened attentively; glad to have anything to distract her attention from her thoughts, even if it was the age old discussion between men of how difficult it was to understand women.

 

`They're a different race, I tell you,' said Ban, again on duty.

 

`Not only a different race, they're a completely different species,' Kai responded.

 

`I don't understand them at all. I mean my wife got annoyed with me yesterday because I forgot that we had guests. You remember we went out last night for a drink to recover from Renji's visit here, and I got home a little later than I told her. She was very sweet and polite while the guests were there, making all sorts of excuses. As soon as they left, bingo. I'm lucky she didn't chuck me out. As it is I'm not sure she's talking to me,' Ban complained.

 

`Women,' agreed Kai.

 

Rukia lost interest again. In a weak moment she wished Renji would at least visit. He was much more interesting than these two guys. A fight with Renji was more appealing than her own thoughts which kept going over the same ground time after time. Maybe she could get him to loose control again. It had been funny when he tried to shake the bars.

 

Out of boredom she listened to the guards' conversation again. They were discussing what type of bun they preferred. As Rukia did not have any appetite for food, she quickly tired of the chatter.

 

`Maybe, just maybe, death is preferable. After all: Hell is other people,' she thought.

 

Author's Note:

 

Please review. Many thanks to the people who've told me they like the story. You make me feel so grateful.

A rather strange chapter which went in a completely different direction to the one I anticipated. You'd think I'd be used to it by now. Chapter 8 was supposed to end up with Rukia and Renji becoming friends again.

It is a bit hard to bring Rukia and Ichigo together at the moment unless I break with the Soul Society Story arc, or I could skip a great amount, or I suppose there could be a lot of erotic dreams. The problem is there is so much in the Soul Society arc that I find interesting and want to explore.

Next chapter? Good question. I have some ideas I'm playing with at the moment, but I'm probably going to write something a little lighter. (I can hope, can't I?) All this angst is depressing.

MS