Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Different Circumstances ❯ The Dream ( Chapter 36 )

Tite Kubo owns Bleach and the characters depicted therein. The characters in this story are not mine.

 

 

The Dream

 

I was dreaming, the best dream I'd ever had. Some unknown man had his hands all over me, groping me. Well it didn't feel like the groping I was used to. He was touching me, I suppose, feeling me up in all the places that liked those touches, and it felt good. The man didn't seem to expect me to do anything except let him touch me so I lay back and enjoyed it. Too soon, or not soon enough, he manoeuvred himself between my spread thighs and with one quick, fast push entered me. In my dream I bit down on my lip to stop my tongue from demanding he take me hard. I was scared the sound of my voice would wake me and I wanted this to continue. My dream lover was taking me rhythmically, thrusting into me, over and over again as I moved my hips to meet his thrusts. His cock was hard and long and moved into me slickly, opening me to him further. He didn't try to kiss me and I couldn't make out what his face looked like, but that wasn't important. It was a dream and I could imagine what ever I liked because it was my fantasy. I didn't know sex could be like this, urgent, demanding and so hot. I could feel how thick his cock was as it kept pushing into me, stretching my cunt more than Gin ever did, while this man's hands were touching me finding all those parts which ached for attention. I was so close to climaxing. Closer than I'd ever been when I'd made love with Gin.

 

Then I woke up. That was typical. I was having a dream like no other, finally getting close to have an orgasm during sex, even if it was dream sex, and then I woke up, hot, randy as hell and no Gin to help. As usual I'd have to take matters into my own hands as I often did after sex. It could have been that we were both sort of new to this sex thing, that we were still learning how to do it the best way because I didn't come when Gin fucked me. All I knew was I was aching with need and had to find some relief. I had never felt this much desire for anyone before and I didn't even know who the guy was or what he looked like.

 

As I woke more, I felt the heat of another body pressed against mine. No, I was pressed against someone, my head lying on his chest and his arm around my waist. I knew it was a man as I couldn't feel any boobs and I didn't fancy women anyway. Maybe it was Gin, maybe all this arousal would be of some use. If we fucked now I was pretty sure I'd come and that would make him happier, or at least stop his occasional taunts about my performance in bed. I was scared he'd accuse me of being frigid and dump me, keen to find someone who could come on request, or who could fake it better than me.

 

Opening my eyes I was disappointed and a bit worried. Looking at the broad, heavily muscled chest it was obvious the guy wasn't Gin; it was some man I'd never seen before. He was naked, I was naked. Obviously I was here willingly because I wasn't tied up or anything. I glanced briefly at his face wondering who the hell I was sleeping with but his face wasn't familiar. He was an unattractive looking brute; a really big guy, with a hairstyle that almost made me laugh, but the severe expression and scar running down his face made me wary as did the red welt around his neck. Lots of scars littered his body, evidence that this guy was a fighter; not my type at all. He seemed to have some very fresh wounds as well and I wondered who he'd fought. Remembering my dream and still feeling randy I decided I may as well take advantage of the situation. As long as I was here and he was asleep, I may as well check out his equipment. Maybe he was tiny to compensate for how big he was and my eyes went immediately to his groin.

 

There was no way I could keep the gasp escaping from my mouth. For a moment I wondered if someone had sawn off a thick table leg and placed it there as a joke. The cock I saw was abnormally large and semi hard with a pair of tight sacs underneath. Large veins pulsed under the surface of the penis, and without thinking about it, my hand encircled the shaft, checking it was flesh, not wood. I felt it grow to full erection under my fingers. I didn't know cocks could be this large. Gin assured me that he was average, but if he was average then this guy was a monster. Damned large monster, with a monstrous cock. I noticed how good it felt against my palm and fingers and I kept stroking it as I considered what I was going to do.

 

The ache I'd been feeling inside me grew only stronger as unconsciously my fingers massaged the very thick base, marvelling at the size. I wanted it. That bloody dream had made me too excited to wait for Gin and after seeing this thing, my hand and fingers seemed like a very poor substitute. So did Gin's dick.

 

Yes, I loved Gin, but he'd walked away from me again after a disagreement about something stupid. I think it was I'd asked whether he was seeing someone else. It wasn't as if I cared, well, I tried not to care. I tried so hard that I found I was caring more and more and it hurt. I accused, he grinned at me and refused to answer. I asked again and he turned away. This time I'd told him he didn't need to come back, that I'd find someone to take care of me. He'd just shrugged and continued to walk away, not turning around, just waving his fingers casually over his shoulder. He knew I'd be waiting, no matter how many days he was gone. I always waited, until this time, apparently.

 

The man in the bed still seemed asleep. I didn't care. I was so horny it was either masturbate or mount this guy and looking at the giant cock, it was an easy choice. He obviously liked young flesh, otherwise he wouldn't be with me, but that didn't worry me much. Looking down, I noticed my body looked weird. My boobs were much bigger than I remembered, and I was really curvy. I was more used to the slim flanks and smaller tits and belly, but that wasn't important. Nor were the healing slashes I saw on my body, though normally that would have scared me. I'd think about those problems later. There were bite marks on my boobs and other places and I saw a number of bites and suction marks all over the guy, some on his thighs and stomach as well as the injuries I'd noticed earlier. I wondered if I was responsible for them because I never left these types of marks on Gin. He didn't like to be marked. That was one of the reasons I suspected there was someone else, plus the fact that he could stay absent for days on end.

 

I was going to fuck the guy who was here. If he woke up and grumbled, I'd smother him with the boobs until he stopped complaining. That would make the bloody things useful and he might enjoy it. I straddled him quickly, not even wondering if we would fit together. I just wanted sex, with him, with anyone.

 

Taking his cock in my hand I eased the head between the lips of my pussy and pushed down on him slightly. I'd just use the head to get my pleasure; it was all I'd need. The top began to enter me and encouraged by how good it felt I slid down further. It felt better the more of him that inched inside me so I kept sliding until the whole massive length of him was lodged within me. I looked down to make sure and saw my blonde pubic hair mingling with his dark thatch. He was fully inside me and it hadn't hurt. It made me pretty certain we'd had sex together and I wished I could remember.

 

“Fuck that feels good,” I said, not meaning to speak aloud and having trouble believing I could handle something that size.

 

“Then why are you just sitting there?” a deep, husky voice asked.

 

I jumped slightly which caused the cock to slide in and out of me slightly. “Hell; he's awake. I don't want to talk to this guy; I just want to fuck him until I come. That's all I want.” I thought, but it was too late for that. The wise move would be to climb off and leave.

 

“You can do better than that,” the voice told me. Slyly my eyes travelled up the deep chest to look at the face of the man. Now his eyes were open, he looked less severe and the big grin he wore made him look, well not handsome, but less brutish. His large hands grabbed my hips and encouraged me to keep moving on him. It crossed my mind to excuse myself and try to leave but it felt to good and I didn't want to. Instead, I let my head fall back as I felt my body rise and fall on his cock, my excitement almost overwhelming me but I seemed to be just missing something. Feeling him plunge into my inner walls, filling me, made me want to continue riding him for as long as it took. My hands moved up and began to play with my nipples, wanting the extra excitement and I groaned loudly as I got more excited but I felt a tingle of nervousness about coming in front of a stranger and couldn't give myself over to the sensations. The sound that escaped me was a mixture of pleasure and frustration.

 

“You really need this, don't you,” he said thoughtfully. One of his hands moved from my hips to between my legs and his fingers found my clit without difficulty or the embarrassing, mumbled instructions I had tried to give Gin. I stiffened under his fingers but he didn't stop stroking me. Then I didn't want him to stop, it was too late for him to stop.

 

I felt my pussy convulse around him, clutching at his cock as his fingers continued to stroke me. “Oh, God! God! God! God!” I heard my voice screaming as I shuddered with completion. I tried to stay steady and though I wanted to collapse on his chest, I didn't think that was the right thing to do. Remaining still as the shudders wracked my body I knew I wanted this again, I wanted him again. After the climax had finished, I gulped slightly, shook my hair back over my shoulders and clambered off him reluctantly. I'd made a bargain with myself. I'd come and then I'd leave and try to forget that I'd betrayed Gin. I didn't owe this guy anything except a mumbled thanks for the orgasm.

 

It was a shame as I'd like to see what it was like to be under a man like this as he screwed me, taking me with wild force as I urged him on, his body above mine and his hands moving me into the positions he wanted and his hard chest pressing down on me.

 

“Where do you think you're going now? You've come, but I'm still rock hard and damned horny. I thought you'd want to come again. Don't you?” As he spoke he grabbed me around the waist and pinned me down onto the bed. “Don't you want part of what you paid for?”

 

The last sentence made me freeze. Paid for? Was this guy some male prostitute? With his looks it was doubtful, but his cock more than made up for his appearance as did his technique. If I'd paid him that must mean I was pretty desperate and I wondered where I had got the money. Gin and I never had money. Why would I pay for sex? I should be getting paid. And he thought he'd make me come again? Twice? It hadn't happened before. Once was all I'd hoping for.

 

Those words made everything different. If I'd paid him, I'd make him work for it. “Put your mouth on these babies and let them know you like them,” I instructed him, drawing his face to my tits. Immediately his mouth grabbed onto a nub, sucking it with lust and the promise of sex. I felt my pussy get wetter from his attentions and began to believe that this guy must make a good living if he sold his sexual services. Now I didn't give a fuck how he looked, I wanted him again. His hands were busy as he sucked at my tit, roaming over my body.

 

“Eat me,” I ordered. May as well try his talents out there. He obediently slid between my legs. Gin had never wanted to do this for me when we were together. It was fine if I sucked him, he asked that I do it often insisting I swallow, but when I asked him to return the favour, he made a face and told me that he wasn't interested; he'd try it later; he had a blister on his tongue or he preferred me to suck him or some other excuse.

 

This guy went for it and I felt his tongue licking the entrance and then driving in. Then his mouth sought and found my clit as he eased two fingers into my cunt. A few minutes of this and I'd be coming in his face and he seemed to know that. A few more licks and he stopped.

 

“Enough of that,” he said moving between my legs and pulling them around his waist. “You've come and I want to.”

 

He pushed into me and I felt like kissing him in gratitude at how good it felt, but I wouldn't kiss him. I'd let him fuck me any way he wanted, but I'd keep my mouth for Gin, if he ever returned. The man lowered his face to kiss me, so I turned my face and he ended up kissing my cheek.

 

“Scared I'll excite you too much?” he muttered in my ear. “I know other ways to wind you up.” Rhythmically he began to take me as his tongue trailed down my neck. I liked it, a lot. I liked the feeling of his tongue and mouth on my neck as he shoved his cock into me. I was responding eagerly, meeting each thrust with my own. It seemed familiar somehow. I thought I remembered this steady hard rhythm and the excitement. It was becoming increasingly difficult to think but suddenly I remembered. This was the guy I'd been dreaming about, the one who had been humping me almost to orgasm. I wanted to pull away but that hard body above me, the cock stretching me, his hands on my thighs; no, there was no way I would stop him.

 

“Speed it up,” I ordered him. I was getting so close and feeling the heat pouring over my body I didn't want to wait.

 

He laughed as he increased his pace and angled his thrusts to go deeper inside. I'd have to get money so I could pay him to do this often. I wondered how much he cost, but those thoughts dissolved as my lust rose higher. I didn't need him to touch my clit this time. It was like my body had worked out how to come without the extra handling. I yelled as I came, my eyes squeezed tight as my arms reached around and hugged the man tightly. If he cared, too bad. He could always charge me extra. I felt him stiffen above me and he bellowed my name as he came.

 

He stayed inside me and rolled onto his side taking me with him, holding me close as our breathing slowed and my senses recovered. Drowsily I kissed his shoulder, smoothing my face against the warm skin and then my eyes snapped open as I realised what I'd done. I'd kissed him, he come inside me, I hadn't taken any precautions and he'd yelled my name as he came. What was going on? I could have gotten pregnant from this and I couldn't see Gin hanging around to take care of another man's kid. If he was a sex worker, this guy wouldn't want to have a baby with a client. I'd kissed the man too, even if it was only his shoulder. I'd kissed him even after the mental promise I'd made. He must be a pretty talented guy if he could remember his tricks' name when he came. The last thought was stupid, but my thoughts were not making much sense. I had to get out of there. I had to find a way of stopping any pregnancy from taking, not that there was much hope. I pushed the arms away and got off the bed, ready to dress.

 

Looking for my clothes, I couldn't find any. I found his clothes though, the black uniform of the Shinigami and a white coat. A white coat? Only Captains wore white coats and why would a Shinigami Captain become a male prostitute. I couldn't work this out. It had to be a costume but no one wore that type of costume because it would be dangerous. Then I looked around the room and couldn't recognise anything about it. I shivered as I noticed the chill in the air that hadn't been apparent when I was close to him. It didn't feel or smell like Soul Society. Where was I? Nothing had made sense since I woke up. I slumped onto the bed wondering what the hell was going on and what I could do. The only clothes I could see were for Shinigami and while Gin and I had idly spoken about joining the Academy, we'd done nothing about it. Two sets of clothes. Was one mine?

 

The man's large hands encircled me, holding my breasts as he moved close pressing his body against my back. “What's the problem this time, Matsumoto? Are you hungry again? I'll let you eat something, but then I'll eat you again.” He kissed my neck and then my back. I became rigid under his touch. How did he know I was hungry?

 

“Um, look. That was great, the best I've had, really. You're a great, ur, lover, but I think I should go. If I'm pregnant I'll get rid of the kid, so don't worry that you have to support it, or me,” I said. I tried to remove his hands but they now seemed to be made of steel and he became very still.

 

“Who am I?” he asked. I stopped my struggle to get free when he asked that question.

 

Why was he asking me? He should know who he was unless he'd lost his memory. But if he'd lost his memory, how would he know my name? And why did he call me Matsumoto? Most people called me Ran or Rangiku, but mostly `get back here you little witch' when I'd taken something from their shops without paying.

 

“You're a Captain, one of the Gotei 13, Mister Captain,” I told him. If I humoured him he might not turn dangerous. I didn't think he'd like it if I asked if he was a prostitute.

 

“What's my name?”

 

I shrugged, my back still turned to him. How would I know? I'd never seen him before.

 

His hands turned me to face him, forcing my body to twist around and he looked at my face intently, trying to see some sign of recognition. My eyes strayed to his mouth and I wanted to kiss him, feel those pursed lips on mine as he took me again. It hurt to be twisted that way, so I turned around fully, sitting opposite him with my legs folded neatly. There was no point in modesty; he'd seen it all anyway.

 

“Damn. Fuck. Shit. Frigging Hell. You've forgotten again. Why do you keep forgetting? How old are you?” he demanded, his voice harsh in my ears, his hands on my waist, restricting my movement.

 

“I don't know? 15 or 16. Why's it important? I won't tell anyone you fucked me because I really enjoyed it,” I told him as I tried again to remove his hands. “Don't worry. You won't get in trouble. I wasn't a virgin or anything.”

 

“Are you a Shinigami?” he asked, his voice discordant in my ears. His hands dropped from me, freeing me and for a second I missed those warm hands holding me.

 

The question could only get one reaction. I laughed. “Me? You're kidding, right?”

 

“No, I'm not.” The man looked at me and I saw that he was sad, so sad. I hadn't said anything to make him sad so I sat there and looked at him. Without meaning it to, my hand reached out and stroked his cheek.

 

“It's okay. I told you I'll leave and you won't have to see me again. You don't have to worry,” but even as I said the words a lead weight seemed to settle in my chest. I wanted to see him again. I wanted to be held within his arms and stay with him.

 

“Not going to happen. Matsumoto, close your eyes,” he told me.

 

That was a very strange request. “Why?”

 

“Just do this and then you can leave. Close your eyes for a few minutes and then decide.” The sadness in his face was reflected in his voice. He made no move to touch me and I wished he would. I wanted to fuck him again, that was all.

 

“Only if you kiss me.” Where had those words come from? Who was controlling my words, my thoughts, my body?

 

A strangely hopeful look crossed his face and he bent his head and touched my lips with his, just a gentle touch of his mouth on mine. It wasn't enough. I linked my arms around his neck, intent on making the kiss something else but he took his lips from mine.

 

“Now close your eyes,” he instructed me.

 

I decided to say something that was stupid. So dumb that the thought made me breathless but I had to say it. “Look, whoever you are. I think, given time, I could like you; really like you.”

 

There was a pause and he asked heavily, “More than Ichimaru?”

 

A shock ran through my body. He knew about Gin and had fucked me anyway? What else had I told him? I must have spilled my guts about my life and he remembered it. What could I tell him? My instinct was telling me to trust this man, despite my mind screaming at me to get away, appearances didn't deceive. The guy looked like a cold blooded killer and I should react to that.

 

“I don't know.” How could I tell how I would feel about him in a possible future? “Kiss me again, Mister. Maybe that will tell me.”

 

“No. Not yet. Close your eyes, please.” The `please' sounded like a word he didn't use very often.

 

Obediently I shut my eyes. I felt him leave the bed and a rustling and clicking sound from the direction the clothes were. I heard some noises I couldn't identify and a hand grabbed my arm and I felt the prick of a sharp object in my skin. My eyes started open and I saw the man removing a needle from my arm.

 

“What? Are you a drug pusher?”

 

He carefully replaced the equipment in a box and then moved close to me. I backed away, sliding across the bed as far from him as I could, but he pulled me close to him, cradling me in his arms, kissing my cheek, my ear, my eyes as one hand spread protectively over my stomach.

 

“You'll remember soon, Matsumoto. You'll remember that you are a Shinigami. You are also my wife, you are pregnant with our child and you love me. You have told me that you love me more than Ichimaru, more than anything. This is the 3rd time you've forgotten me and you've gone back earlier each time. Don't forget me again, wife.”

 

He fastened his lips to mine, crushing them beneath his before I had a chance to react, my body squashed against his. I didn't resist. My blood was singing in my ears with lust and need. No matter what happened I didn't care anymore. The urges of my body had taken over my brain and I wanted this man. His words struck a chord in me and I half believed that we were married and I had a new life growing within me. I wanted it to be true, that I loved this brutish man and was a Shinigami.

 

“My name is Kenpachi Zaraki. You call me Zaraki, darling and beloved and sometimes you call me Captain when you're irritating me. You followed me here because you couldn't survive without the sex. You did something for me in the Seireitei. Something that was important and I need to pay you back for that.” I could feel the reluctance as he pulled his lips from mine, but it seemed he could sense something happening.

 

As intense pain invaded my body and brain, I screamed. The man was trying to kill me and I was dying in agony. He held me closely as I thrashed in his arms, and he talked to me. The words poured over me but I couldn't hear them because the pain drowned out everything else. Pain brought memory and suddenly I remembered everything. Not in bits and pieces, but all at once, not like the last two times.

 

“Zaraki,” I said, unable to hide the hurting in my voice. “Zaraki, I remember. Kiss me, or I'll have to kiss you.”

 

As my lips met his I grabbed his hands and dragged him to my breasts. I may as well enjoy everything I could. He kissed me deeply and I didn't want him to stop. The kiss was soothing away the pain, but he pulled his mouth from mine.

 

“Beloved. Talk to me. Prove you remember,” his dark eyes were fixed on mine.

 

What could I say to convince him? I searched my mind and suddenly knew there was something only he had ever said to me. “Don't die and don't fuck anyone else.”

 

His face broke into a smile and then he laughed. “Matsumoto. My beloved wife. Want to fuck?”

 

I nodded enthusiastically. Have sex with Zaraki? If we had time I would fuck him for days, weeks, years. The lust I felt for this man only grew stronger the longer I knew him.

 

“Before we do; one thing. You didn't remember me, but you wanted me, you fucked me like there was no choice when you didn't even know me. Why?”

 

“I dreamt about fucking you but I didn't come in my sleep and I couldn't see your face. And remember, I woke up and saw your cock. Just seeing it got me wet. I didn't know you, but something about you made me want you. I wanted you nearly as much as I want you now. I love you.”

 

When I had a chance, I'd try to work it out. Work out why even when I didn't remember him I seemed to fall in love/lust with him. Even at the supposed height of my love for Gin, Zaraki had become more important within such a short time. But it could be that even though the memories were suppressed, the emotions were not and they bled through anything I had believed at the time. The drug may have affected my memory but could not touch my emotions and thus my feelings for Zaraki were still there, but disguised or shaped by what I could remember.

 

As I cast my mind back I couldn't remember having such an intense pull toward him when I had first seen him. Then I had felt a slight tug of attraction as I had when I'd met a few men. My interest in Zaraki had grown with the overheard whispered conversations about the size of his penis and my observation of the man, but none of it was like the overwhelming passion that had run through my body during the last memory loss. I was pretty certain that if I had woken up in bed with him at the age I thought I'd been, I would have run away, very fast. I had been nervous about sex at that time, trying to appear confident but convinced I was a failure. The size of his penis would have terrified me, not make me lust for the man who possessed it. But the girl I had been had faded so long ago, disappearing gradually through the combined effects of hopeless longing, responsibilities and acceptance of what I could not change. The girl I had been was a stranger to me now.

 

I wanted to ask Retsu how could a drug could suppress memory but have little to no effect on emotions. It was imperative that I tell her about this last memory loss. A further loss could mean I thought I was a child and knowing what might happen if I was close to Zaraki made me feel slightly ill. I would have sex with him, believing my age to be younger than the age of consent and that thought made me feel very uncomfortable.

 

“Better feed you before I fuck you,” he murmured going to my supplies and rummaging within. “I could do with some too. I suppose you didn't pack a steak in the bag?”

 

Smiling at him, I replied, “I'm not in the habit of carrying raw meat, beloved husband. I was trying to pack high energy food.”

 

"Before I feed you, I want to put something on those gashes. Don't want you ending up with scars like me," he said, balm in hand. He'd obviously found it while looking for food.

 

I shrugged. If he wanted to, it didn't matter. A few minutes passed very pleasantly as we rubbed the balm into each other's wounds but I was too hungry to concentrate for long.

 

"While this if fun, Zaraki, I need some food. Feed me," I said looking into his face pleadingly.

 

"Food. What an appetite," he said and then grinned at me, meaningfully as he went and pulled out a large bag of dried fruit and the rest of the nuts.

 

Returning to the bed he sat me between his legs, making me lie horizontal over his thighs and he placed the dried fruit on my stomach. On occasions when he reached for a piece of fruit his fingers `accidentally' ended up between my legs, or stroking my stomach or grazing my nipples. I ate abstractedly, wondering how far back my memory loss could go. It had to be stopped soon as it was beginning to worry me more each time.

 

“You're eating very fast. Are you being greedy, or are you really that hungry?”

 

Looking down I noticed there were only two pieces of fruit left. Shrugging I said, “You can have those. I'll eat some nuts.”

 

“Here,” he said and poured half the nuts into my cupped hand. “Insatiable woman. You've eaten most of the fruit, so I get half the nuts.”

 

“I'm pregnant and have to keep up my strength, especially if you want to have sex again,” I told him and began chewing the nuts. He wanted to screw, that much was obvious. I could feel his penis hard against my back.

 

Then I remembered something and sat up. "We've got to go back and check on Captain Kuchiki!"

 

"What? Why?"

 

Of course Zaraki didn't remember. The other self had taken over when he'd stabbed the man. "He got in your way and..."

 

"I fought him and won?" There was a smile on his face and an air of strange pride that accompanied those words. Moving me gently he rose from the bed and walked over to the basin to get a drink of water.

 

I shook my head. "I didn't even see it happen, but you stabbed him. Retsu started healing him but the wound looked bad." Bad enough to make me question if he was dead. While Retsu was the most talented healer I'd met, a wound that deep would require something out of the ordinary to repair.

 

"You didn't see me move?" The pride was still there. I knew that Zaraki was fast but he had never tried to shunpo.

 

Deciding to stroke his ego a little, my words were carefully chosen. "The speed with which you struck was amazing. I blinked and missed it, but Rukia is very upset. Captain Kuchiki was gravely wounded."

 

The smile faded slowly from his face and he frowned. "She doesn't need any other problems. Do you know who the father of her kid is?"

 

Answering that question was difficult and I hadn't expected to be asked. Knowing who the father was might be a liability, but I nodded my head. After the multitude of mistakes I'd made, lying to him now was not a wise choice. I got up and found my brush. Standing to one side, I began to brush my hair with careful strokes.

 

"Tell."

 

"No." I didn't think he'd enjoy being informed that his fifth seat was involved with Rukia.

 

"Is Ikkaku still infatuated with Nemu?"

 

The sudden change of topic rattled me slightly. I nodded my head automatically and then stopped and stared wide eyed at Zaraki. "He... she... they..."

 

"He, she, they? Lost for words? Nemu and Kurotsuchi only confirmed what I already knew."

 

I swallowed hard and stated my agreement. "He refuses to give up. It seems to be a shared problem in 11th Division."

 

A sudden light of understanding flooded his face. "Is that why Arai came with you? Because he fathered Rukia's child?"

 

Immediately I shook my head and replaced the brush in my bag. He was getting too close to the truth and I didn't wish to cause any more problems for Yumichika and Rukia. It wasn't my secret and there was no easy solution to that problem, at least not one that I could see. From my conversation with her, I knew that Rukia would take some time before she could move past hurting Renji. He wouldn't make it any easier, that much was evident. If I told Zaraki about the relationship, would that increase the problems or would it assist in leading to a resolution? Then it struck me that I'd nearly confirmed that the father of the child came from his division. It was only a matter of time.

 

"Yumichika? He's the only real choice. Yeah, I can see that he'd be drawn to the woman and as Renji likes to meet up with his friends from my division, they'd have the chance to meet."

 

I said nothing, avoiding his gaze by moving closer to my clothing. It seemed wise to start dressing before he insisted we rejoin the others. For some reason it seemed that might happen shortly, once he had obtained the answers to his persistent questions.

 

"Am I right?"

 

Again it seemed wrong for me to confirm his guess, but he hated it if I didn't tell him the truth. Was it a lie if I didn't answer him?

 

"Matsumoto, stop trying to avoid the question." Zaraki was now gripping me by my upper arms to prevent me turning away from him.

 

"Yumichika was the father." I tried to keep my voice as quiet as possible, not wishing to be overheard.

 

"Oh, that is fucking great. My third seat is in lust or love with the scum sucking pig's daughter and my fifth seat got Kuchiki's sister pregnant." Zaraki was trying not to shout, but his grip on my arms had tightened.

 

"I didn't make it happen," was my token protest. In the grip of my turbulent emotions I hadn't paid much attention to the other Shinigami's arrangements while we were in the human world. They were adults and competent fighters. Rukia would have resented any intervention and at the time I was positive that my relationship with Zaraki was temporary. Trying to manage my own problems and Orihime's had been more than enough.

 

Abruptly Zaraki let me go and began to dress rapidly. "Get your clothes on, woman. I don't know if Renji should learn of this now, but it won't make it any better if he finds out later."

 

His face was set and with a slight kick of fear I observed his eyes. I now knew one of the other reasons that Yachiru had said that I wouldn't understand. It was only because of the intervention of both zanpakuto spirits that I'd survived and while Zaraki now knew the name of his zanpakuto, he didn't seem very pleased about it. The news about the father of Rukia's baby was not what he wished to hear and while I knew he was trying to do the correct thing, I questioned the wisdom of it.

 

"If you don't get dressed, I'll do it by myself." His voice distracted me from my reflections and I picked up the clothes I'd been staring at and began to don them.

 

Letting him walk away in this mood would only give him time to brood and I didn't want that. Once dressed I looked up at him, allowing the admiration and love I felt for him show in my expression. “Thank you Zaraki.”

 

His eyes narrowed suspiciously and I could see it was not the response he'd expected. “You're not going to argue and you're thanking me? What for, woman?”

 

Fully dressed I felt confident as I placed my lieutenant's insignia on my sash thinking carefully before I answered. “Thank you for listening to the spirit of your zanpakuto. You could have killed me.”

 

A furtive, slightly guilty look crossed his face and I wondered what he was hiding. “The spirit wouldn't let me hurt you. You know that. I said the dumb bastard's fallen in love with you like I have. As for the other, forget it.” While he spoke he was looking at his zanpakuto, not at me and I sensed there was more being left unsaid.

 

A loud rapping at the door was interspersed by a loud voice calling, “Madame Unohana asked me ask you to return, don't cha know? Come on. I want to go back and keep playing with Nel.”

 

“Shut the fuck up. We'll be there when we're ready,” Zaraki yelled back, but it didn't hide that he was pleased about the interruption.

 

As we left the room I vowed I would find out what else bothered my husband.

 

A.N.

 

Memento Mori: (Latin) Remember you must die.

 

Soundtrack

 

'Let's Get Naked' Joan Osborne

`Central Reservation (Deep Dish Remix)' Beth Orton

'Wake Up' Coheed and Cambria

'Map of the Problematique' Muse

 

Thanks to Bastion, Zetsuii, cancerchick16, frenchdiamond 1 and ldymoon for the reviews.

 

Review. Reviews sometimes amuse.