Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Different Circumstances ❯ The Scientist ( Chapter 42 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Tite Kubo owns Bleach and the characters depicted therein. The characters in this story are not mine, except for the original characters. I make no money from the publication of this work.
The Scientist
"Who else would I be? You've known me for years, Rangiku. Can't you tell it's me?"
He sounded as confused as I felt. It seemed like Gin, but it wasn't Gin, not the man who'd hurt me so badly last time I was here. His voice sounded different, lighter and more amused. Every time we'd talked before he left the Seireitei before the betrayal the mocking tone had always been there, but subdued. Now it was absent.
"You're trying to confuse me. You abducted me, drugged me and then sang to me to make me think I was either dreaming or losing my mind, or both. You got the Arrancar to dance." It was an explanation, not a good one but one that appeared to fit the situation.
"I did not sing." There was a small pause, "or dance. The Arrancar and Espada don't want to obey Aizen and they won't listen to me."
Was it a matter of pride or shame he mentioned the last?

"You did sing, Gin. You sang about me losing my baby. The Espada and Arrancar danced behind you information; you danced. You made it sound like a good thing, but it wasn't. I didn't even know I was pregnant." My voice sounded bad, as if I was complaining.
He folded his arms and looked at me, the smile vanishing from his face as his head tilted to one side. "I didn't know about the pregnancy until you told me. Why would I practice a song when I didn't know the Thug had impregnated you? It'd be a waste of time."
"It happened!" I sounded desperate.
" No, it didn't. You're imagining...." abruptly he stopped and looked at me closely.
Staring back I observed a number of expressions pass over his face and then he turned his head toward the table where he'd placed the kit after he'd injected the memory antidote.
"Side effects?" he wondered aloud.
I felt sick and stupid. He had the antidote to my memory loss which could only be provided by Retsu. She was a traitor after all and not my friend. A friend wouldn't inflict this kind of misery on another; it was the action of an enemy. Zaraki wasn't safe, nor were the other people, some of whom I counted as friends. Were they friends as well, or had they all plotted to join the traitors and were only pretending to be on the opposing side?
"If a man is prepared to assist traitors, how far should you throw him?"
In addition to everything else, Gin was now speaking in riddles. "You want me to throw you somewhere?" In my current condition, even an attempt to pick up Gin was ill advised.
"What are you talking about, Ran? First you accuse me of dancing and now you think I want you to pick me up, but not in any way I'd enjoy." He was smiling, but appeared uneasy.
"You said something about throwing a man who is prepared to assist traitors. What was I meant to think?" Feeling uneasy I wanted something to occupy my hands so picking up the little bag Gin had glanced at earlier, I looked more closely.
Previously the drugs hadn't interested me, while I knew they should. While they returned my memory they caused great pain and were only a temporary solution. Then I noticed some written instructions, but not in Retsu's handwriting. This was written by another hand and the initials M.K. made everything clear. My suspicions were confirmed but how did he know the about the problem and the drug that returned the memory? 1 was being added to 1 and while the resulting solution brought a mixture of relief, concern and fear there was more information required. I'd thought it for so long, wondered, picked at the fear as if it were a scabby scar.
If I were honest the feeling had more in common with the combined fear of pain and anticipation of relief when finally piercing the head of a particularly large boil. The boil prevented any enjoyment, caused localised fever, but knowing the intense pain which would be caused by attempting to remove the pus always put off the evil moment. I'd known, I think many people guessed, but if I asked, then while there would be pain, there would be relief.
"Kurotsuchi is working with Aizen?" It was the essential question.
"Come Ran. I thought you'd worked it out by now. I gave you enough hints." His smile was gently teasing, but his tone was serious.
"How long?" My heart thudded heavily. So many things which I'd ignored or tried not to think about might be now explained.
He shifted his weight. It was almost imperceptible, but knowing the man as well as I did, it indicated he didn't wish to answer.
"That long?"
"What do you mean? I didn't sa.....," he stopped and recovered. "Before Sosuke became a Captain."
The honesty was amazing. It was nice to be amazed instead of mazed by Gin, but so many questions remained unanswered.
"As soon as he was released from the Maggot's Nest? He's been working with Aizen that long?" I don't why I was surprised. It explained so much which until now had been unclear. Following the thoughts took too long. I wanted answers, now.
Even as I began to ask the next question, the answer was clear, but the confirmation was necessary. "Why does he know the formula for this?"
Gin twitched as if the question hurt him but didn't answer.
"Why, Gin?" Instead of raising my voice, I simply asked the question again.
"Do you need to ask?"
Yes, I did need to ask. I needed to know what had been happening to me and why. The real reason instead of all the crap about my supposed 'self healing' abilities.
"Former Captain Ichimaru, what was done to me?'
He shrugged and appeared calm, but it was hard to accept he was as he appeared.
Rising, I picked up the needle he'd used on me and refilled it from the bottle I saw. "Gin, would you like me to give you a taste of this?"
Instead of backing away as I expected, he simply stood there. "You won't hurt me. When you were here last you had the chance to kill me, but didn't."

"Before I knew my baby was dead. It was before you let Aizen try to rape and kill me. Before I nearly died and had memories taken from me. My baby...my baby..." I tried to mimic his pretend calm but my voice got away from me and I was nearly shrieking by the time I stopped speaking. "Tell me."
"We let the Thug rescue you and escape."
I shook my head. It wasn't true. I had been told about the trouble the rescue mission had taken to get to Hueco Mundo and the resistance they'd encountered trying to find me. "I don't believe you."
"Ran, look at the events realistically. We have the control here. The Arrancar and Espada's abilities surpass the Shinigami powers most of you possess. Even bankai might not work against them. They are the superior beings even before exposure to the H..." he stopped but I knew to what he referred. Had Gin also been exposed to the power? Had he been transformed into something other, something more powerful and dangerous?
Again I shook my head, but the question had distracted me. For the moment I'd let it go, but soon Gin might admit his guilt. "Kurotsuchi helped you abduct me, didn't he?" Getting into an argument about my rescue did not assist in gaining answers to my questions.
"Of course he did." Was there a trace of exasperation in his voice?
It seemed unfair. He knew the background; I didn't. Possibly some of the plans were his, one day the truth might be revealed and Gin might become honest. Yet to treat me like I was stupid as I didn't know everything and had to guess annoyed me. He assumed he knew everything about my relationship with Zaraki, and why I’d chosen to marry him. Then the blind assumption that I continued to love him after every insult, slight and pain I’d experienced at his hands.
“Why?” Thinking through all the questions wasn’t helping. Trying to understand why people had acted the way they did might help and while I knew Kurotsuchi hated me, it seemed to have become more pronounced and obvious since I’d become involved with Zaraki.
“No one asked his reasons. He was providing inside information and helping us. As for abducting you, he seemed pleased to be able to help. He hid me and drugged all the liquids served at your 'Wedding Celebration'. " Gin seemed to not understand the question.
“Didn’t you ever ask why he was helping? “
Gin was slowly shaking his head. “The man had been incarcerated in the Maggot’s Nest for years before Urahara released him. What loyalty would he have to the Seireitei?”
The reminder served to shock me from my backward thoughts. History had shaped all of us; the events in our past had pushed us into certain directions and served to create the reality in which we lived. We could ignore the past, pretend none of it happened, but no matter how good the pretence, the experiences remained. Gin had always been elusive about his life before we met. He didn’t like to share information and it seemed he was still inclined to keep things to himself.
“I don’t know,” I murmured.
Most of the time Kurotsuchi didn’t interact with the other Captains, or so Toshiro had mentioned once. It had amused me at the time as I knew how infrequently my Captain wished to spend time interacting with the people of the same rank. The 12th Division Captain was known to argue with any person who didn’t share his opinion and he was also secretive, but when measured against Gin, Tosen and Aizen he didn’t seem a threat, until now.
“You never thought it was convenient Kurotsuchi was released around the same time the other Captains disappeared?”
Other Captains disappeared? I furrowed my brow dimly recalled the events. It has happened a long time ago and I remembered the description of how Divisions were left leaderless and the problems which were caused as replacements were sought. Many appeared eager to fill the spaces left, but most were unable to achieve bankai. It was possibly the reason Yamamoto had not attempted to replace the three who had left so abruptly, for aside from preparing for the War, trying to find and train those who had the abilities and leadership skills would be harrowing and leave little time for all the other matters which required his attention.
Then it finally struck me. “That explains why you had the antidote. Or does it?”
Retsu had created the partial antidote and I was pretty certain the 12th Division Captain and my friend didn’t pool knowledge. A nasty idea began to form in my mind, but it seemed too hard to accept.
“I’m sure you’ve worked it out, Ran,” Gin sighed, avoiding my eyes.
My tongue seemed unwilling to form the words, but I tried to utter them anyway. “Kurotsuchi was here when I was abducted.”
A small nod was my answer.
“Aizen wanted him to infect me with some disease?”
Gin shook his head. “It isn’t a disease.”
Of course it wasn’t a disease. It was a memory manipulation drug which affected the senses and mental age of the recipient. Why anyone would wish to develop such a thing was something I couldn’t work out. It would have limited use, but imagine, all of the Seireitei reverting to an earlier age. All the prejudices would be removed with the memories and if the information given was sufficiently convincing taking command might not prove the challenge. No need to fight if the enemy were convinced you were the benefactor and friend. It was ingenious. It was evil.
“Why me?” If he cared about me, why choose me to inflict this particular type of pain upon. Each time I regained my memory there was such pain and if he was curious the 12th Division Captain had not shown himself adverse to use any Shinigami, Quincy or human as a subject.
Gin cleared his throat. “You recover from death like wounds.”
“Don’t continue talking rubbish, Gin. “
“You do. I noticed it when we were growing up.”
I felt like poking my tongue out. Growing up. I was fully grown now and avoided some of the memories of my childhood because they weren’t important. “So?”
“The drug is only effective on someone brought close to death.”
I was beginning to be seriously concerned. A drug which could only be used effectively on a dying person was not very useful. Chances were the death of the person might interfere with the drug being effective. While the answer seemed obvious, it was hard for me to accept the ideas which were forming in my mind.
“He tried using his daughter, but the years of adjustment made her body unsuitable.”
Poor Nemu. Adjustment, abuse and pain were her life at the hands of a man crazed with creating his own perverse version of perfection. Alliteration! This was not the time to get carried away by words.
“Mayuri wished to use a person who had recuperative powers in order he could observe the long term effects. You were chosen before you became involved with the Thug, against my wishes.”
The last was spoken in nearly a whisper. Each work indicated any power promised to Gin had not been forthcoming.
“You told them? About my supposed ability? And why make a dying person forget? I don't understand.” It didn’t seem like Gin. He didn’t like to tell anyone his carefully guarded secrets.
“Choice is something I didn’t have.”
The indication was he’d been forced to explain, but again it didn’t seem like the Gin I thought I knew. Then I noticed the use of past tense.
“How?”
The smile on Gin’s face twisted slightly. The lips thinned even more and his mouth became straight. “When you were unconscious after Aizen pretended to strangle you.”
“Pretended? I nearly died. I fainted due to his hands being tightly clasped around my throat. He was trying to kill me!.”
He shrugged. “I was trying to think of something to do to stop it, but Aizen…. Every freedom has its price.”
His words didn’t make sense. Once again there was the impression of more being unsaid than explained.
Before any more questions were asked, Gin again smiled his face forming into its usual triangular shape. “It doesn’t matter Ran.”
Maybe it didn’t matter to him, but it certainly did to me. “You aren’t the person who forgets. Losing my memory and becoming younger and younger.” There was little I could do to stop the shudders which racked my body, nor did I try.
For a moment it seemed Gin was preparing to reply but instead smiled even wider. “Ran, don’t go back to the Thug.”
“I love him, Gin. How many times do I need to tell you?” Despite my attempts, exasperation crept into my voice. Even now he overlooked most of my answers, preferring to believe his own ideas.
He sighed as I did, in exasperation. “How can you love him? He’s so unlike me!”
The observation made me laugh involuntarily and also made me question why Gin believed it was impossible for me to fall in love with someone unlike him. Not everyone made the same mistake over and over; falling in love with the same type of person. Not every woman wanted a man who would ignore her until such time as she provided some function and then ignore her once her usefulness was over. He was calling Zaraki a thug, and yet his behaviour toward me had been that of a person who showed little regard for my feelings. Or perhaps my experience with Gin had taught me well about the type of relationship I wanted with a man. One which was founded a little more equally. Yes, Zaraki ordered me around and told me what to do and tried to control me, but he did listen to me, sometimes and didn’t walk away when I needed him. He wasn’t perfect but years of observations prove no man was. They were too often self-absorbed with their own life and a pretty face and figure counted more than good character.
At one point, before Aizen, the mindset of the males I came into contact with irritated me, but to my shame I didn’t disabuse them. There was little point in trying to use my appearance against Toshiro, nor did I wish to. Once he had joked he was my friend in spite of my face. Most males expected a vapid selfish creature to dwell within the outward form. In most cases, I was more than happy to act in the manner expected, but the slight amusement gained wore thin quickly.
Then again, Zaraki was the opposite of the men I normally chose. Tall, muscular and reputably cruel men were not my normal choice. Well, Gin was taller than me. And cruel if you wished to look at it that way; though many might describe him as disinterested or indolent. He was the sort of person my mother might have warned me against, if she'd bothered to hang around long enough, or perhaps any mother might disapprove of Zaraki. Which was the baddest? Gin could charm and smile, Zaraki might either kill or ignore, depending on his mood. Thinking like this made it clear that a mother in this case might be more an impediment than an asset. From the little I knew, if a mother did not agree with the choice of a marital partner, there was little hope of the matter never being raised. I did not miss a mother's disapproval.
Yet Gin and Zaraki were very different. Gin was secretive and it was often impossible to tell what he was thinking and the reasons for his actions. Zaraki was direct and overly honest. I loved the honesty. There was never any doubt he was with me because he chose to be there, in spite of the great sex, in spite of the need I had for him, he chose me and knowing him I couldn’t doubt his love. With Gin, I’d guessed and frequently felt I’d guessed incorrectly. Confessing my love was the end of our relationship, unless he was now trying to say something different. Had I missed an important indication? Had he said words I hadn’t understood? It was possible. Words may have been spoken as he was walking away, or in a quiet aside which was just that too quiet for me to hear. The more likely conclusion was he'd expected me to guess. Guessing with Gin was a pastime which only led to grief. Clues might be given, but often so obscure or removed from the source it might be an indication that he indeed liked Brussell Sprouts, or had taken a dislike to the colour of the grass or even felt unwell and wished for someone to take care of him.
Why was I even thinking like this? Gin was the past, part of my past. In many ways he dominated my past but now was only relevant to my present as I was forced to spend time with him, but as for the future? It seemed unlikely Zaraki would agree to much interaction with Gin, even if he returned to the Seireitei. Zaraki was my future.
Even the explanations Gin provided didn't add up. Kurotsuchi had been here. How had he managed to do that? And I'd been selected for what? A drug to removed memory or throw a person back in time. What was the point?
"Aizen was trying to please me, a little," Gin said. His face was turned to the wall, away from me. I doubt even if I'd been able to see it there would have been any indication of his emotions.
"None of this makes sense, Captain Ichimaru. Not one thing."
"Aizen and Kurotsuchi want a Shinigami female, preferably one who is pregnant with a high recuperative power."
It still didn't make sense. "Why?"
"Why do you think?"
I didn't want to think. I tried to stop thinking, but my brain churned away, simple explanations being rejected until one nasty possibility sprang to mind which made my nausea return. "I was pregnant last time," I finally said.
"Wrong father."
My face heated. Zaraki was not meant to be the father of the child I was to have. I didn't dare mention I was pregnant once more or the child would be terminated. My hands gripped each other tightly as I tried to stop them from betraying me. There was even more danger here than originally thought. "Were you meant to be the father?"
He shrugged, trying to be casual. "Either Aizen or myself and then, future children by specially selected Arrancar."
Worse and worse. Not only forced to bear one child, but then others by these strong beings who seemed intent on the complete destruction of the Shinigami. What was the purpose? A creation who would quickly regenerate, but why make me lose my memories?
"Why the memory loss?" I kept returning to this and would continue to do so.
"It was meant to stop when you reached a certain age," was his stiff lipped reply.
Aghast I tried to work out what he meant. It seemed obvious and the reasoning scared and hurt at the same time. "What age?" My voice was choked with emotion.
"When you still loved and listened to me."
The time period was so vast, up until I insisted on calling him Gin even though he regularly demanded the formal title of Captain Ichimaru. "Captain Ichimaru, no matter how much I may have loved you I would never willingly whore for you."
His back was now turned toward me. Was it to hide his expression and if so was he amused, angry of experiencing another, more difficult, emotion?
"I know. I told Aizen. He didn't believe me." The tone was bleak.
Once more I made a mental leap and before the thoughts could become more intelligible I rapidly said, "The medication was being adjusted. Each time I was given the antidote more of the memory removal was added. Retsu has to be involved!"
"Not everyone in Fourth Division is loyal to their captain, especially when a move to a division with a higher profile is offered."
Was everyone a traitor? Or was it because so many people were experiencing the same feeling of alienation and uncertainty due to the recent events? Or were people naturally disloyal?
"Unfortunately, the person doesn't have long to enjoy any rewards. She's been poisoned."
More information. Why was Gin telling me this? What had caused the change in him?
"You poisoned the person?"
"Not me. Mayuri doesn't like loose ends. Or people for that matter."
"And he doesn't even like the people he creates," I replied, thinking of Nemu.
I looked at him closely. Now he was facing me and even his stance was different. The man who strode arrogantly through the Sereitei with his tame Lieutenant trailing obsequiously behind bore only a physical resemblance to the person I now faced.
"Gin, what happened to you? To us?"
"Sosuke."
Aizen had happened, but exactly what? And when?
"Do you remember when we met, Ran?"
It was so long ago. I'd been so young and ignorant. "I was sleeping outside. I don't remember why. I don't remember a lot."
"No, you wouldn't, Ran. This isn't the first time your memories have been tampered with."
Until now I'd been confident that this was the first time I couldn't trust what I remembered but these words made me wonder about the basis of my reality once more.
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A.N.
Delay again. Yes, I know. Life was difficult.
Soundtrack
'Our Truth' Lacuna Coil
'Your Love is a Lie' Simple Plan
‘Past, Present and Future’ The Shangri-Las
'Memoires' Vamp (This is now Gin's song)
'The Scientist' Coldplay (With the chapter title, how could this song not be included?)
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