Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ For The Love of a Friend ❯ Love's Secret ( Chapter 18 )

Tite Kubo owns Bleach and the characters depicted therein. The characters in this story are not mine.

 

Love's Secret

 

His head hurt when he became conscious, throbbing with each pulse of blood around his body. The faint light in the sky indicated that it was morning. Shunsui was snoring rhythmically and Toshiro felt sick and dizzy, the taste of the alcohol he had consumed lingering in the back of his throat, despite the water he had consumed. Lying in his bed he imagined staying there the whole day. Feeling this ghastly didn't predispose him to wade through the normal piles of paperwork. He'd arrive at his office late. Why hurry? It was unimportant what happened. Remembering the events of the previous day, he sat up, felt giddy and lay down almost immediately. Captain Ukitake had set Kiyone after him, with the help of Shunsui and he'd threatened to tell her Captain about her actions. As he had partly encouraged them, what action would he take? Would anything he said make any difference?

 

Why did he care? He'd go and talk to him, call him to account for the few moments of acute embarrassment he'd made Toshiro experience for no good reason. Why did Shunsui encourage other people to participate in his schemes? He'd try to keep away from any involvement in the future.

 

A knock at the door broke his thoughts, but he was reluctant to answer any person who was visiting this early. It was probably some new disaster waiting for him and he didn't want to know. Let someone else take care of it. The knocking was repeated, louder this time, and he heard Shunsui answer the door. Then he heard Soi's voice. He was out of bed and on his feet before he thought it through, brushing his hair rapidly, knowing it looked bad but he was too impatient to try to make it conform to its normal appearance. Quickly washing his face, he registered that he was swaying on his feet and his limbs were not obeying the instructions sent by his brain as well as normal. For a second he felt like giggling as he almost fell over.

 

“I'm still intoxicated. This will go well. I'm drunk, Soi is here and I might start laughing for no good reason, but I want to see her.” He managed to steady himself, then spent a few seconds trying to convince him body that it was able to act as normal and also to convince his mind to cooperate, before he walked into the next room, determined to seem aloof and not pleased by this early intrusion. Before he left his room he remembered Matsumoto was still absent. Maybe Soi had some news about her, hopefully good news.

 

Seeing Soi in his quarters made him hope. Even though he knew the others were there, he found it hard to stop looking at her, noticing she looked tired, but there was a different expression in her eyes, or it was the drug in his blood making him see that? She almost seemed pleased to see him and he had trouble wiping a smile from his face. Finally he dragged his eyes from her face and noticed who had accompanied her to his quarters. Kiyone's presence made him feel uncomfortable and due to his headache he couldn't prevent his instinctive reaction to her company. He wished immediately that she wasn't there as she made him recall that unpleasant encounter yesterday. If she was here, it was doubtful that Soi was here to tell him of his lieutenant's safe return.

 

According to the vaguely remembered conversation he'd had with Shunsui last night, Kiyone hadn't meant anything by what she'd said, but he made a promise to himself that he wouldn't allow himself to be alone with her, unless he was interested, which he wasn't, was he? No, he wasn't. He had to try and keep his mind from wandering. Why didn't she attract him? The fact that she covered her hands with gloves was strange and that collar hid more than it revealed, making her look like one of those choirboys he'd seen on television while he was in the human world. He wasn't attracted to boys.

 

For a moment, obviously due to his alcoholic inspired haze, he wondered briefly if it had been Nemu; demure, sweet faced Nemu, who had offered herself to him, would he have wavered? A woman who was so quiet, modest and retiring was an attractive temptation. Why was he even thinking like this? Catching his wayward thoughts, he finally he managed to gain mastery of his features and stood there, looking at his guests expectantly.

 

After the brief interchange he noticed Shunsui was looking shifty as he suggested making the tea. The man was not going to slip out of this situation so quickly and he would call him to account. Maybe it was a sign; his luck was changing for the better because now some of yesterday's mess could be finalised. Despite her excuses, Soi had chosen to visit him in his quarters. That indicated something, didn't it?

 

He made the tea especially for Soi, using the chance to drink more water, but still hoping she would find the brew stimulating, but she barely tasted the beverage, lifting the cup to her lips and then quickly replacing it on the table. While the cup was in her hands, her attitude changed. The new expression was replaced by the well remembered spark of anger and betrayal he had seen in her eyes before and he wondered what had happened. Nothing that had been said could have caused that change. All the same, when he saw the opportunity to talk to her alone, he took it. Kiyone and Shunsui seemed to have their feet nailed to the floor when he noted how slowly they moved out. Even before he spoke he knew it was a mistake. He should wait for a time when he was completely able to focus on the words he was going to say, but the other part of his mind urged him to take the chance and maybe end up taking Soi to bed. He might be able to ignore the pounding feeling in his temples if he had to chance to screw her. Or not.

 

“Soi, look at me,” Toshiro said, enunciating the words carefully. Moving close to her he was going to take a risk. He knew this was chancy but maybe she would be receptive to his words, if he didn't trip over. He hoped the tea covered up the smell of alcohol that was sure to be lingering on his breath.

 

“No, Captain Hitsugaya. I know what you are about to tell me and I do not care to hear it,” her voice sounded cold and her eyes were looking out the window.

 

That comment shook Toshiro more than it would have had he been sober. How could she know? Was it that obvious? Had Shunsui written something on his forehead while he slept? Had he talked in his sleep and told the 8th Division Captain everything? Had he sent her a Hell Butterfly while he was sleepwalking telling her everything? What had he done last night that he couldn't remember? But there hadn't been anything on his forehead when he'd had a quick glance in the mirror before he'd come out. There was nothing he could remember that would have betrayed him. His thoughts were so jumbled he was having trouble thinking logically. Trying to buy time he asked, “You know?”

 

She glanced at him and her expression became colder. It looked like she wasn't pleased at his discovery of his feelings for her. Somehow, he wasn't very surprised. Soi didn't seem to be pleased with him much anymore ever since he'd asked that stupid question about Momo.

 

“Yes, of course I know. It was obvious when that Captain answered the door this morning,” she spat at him.

 

That statement was confusing? Shunsui had answered the door. So? He'd been closer to the door. If it had been left to Toshiro, the door would not have remained closed. “What? What's Shunsui got to do with it?” Involuntarily his arms had begun to act of their own accord and he gave in, preparing to pull Soi close to him and give into his need for her. Why talk when there were other things they could do?

 

“You didn't wait very long. Yesterday you kissed me, rejected Kiyone and then accepted your new lover,” Soi said bitterly.

 

Toshiro recoiled from her as he felt one of his feet turn as he tried to stop his forward motion. For a second he thought he was going to fall. Then it dawned on him that she was inferring that he was fucking Shunsui. Why? Even if his taste ran that way, which they didn't, Yumichika or Kira would be more tempting prospects than Shunsui. The man was hairy, not very pretty and he was involved with Isane. He shook his head. He wasn't thinking about men; he had to think about what this hot tempered female was talking about and make her see that she was wrong. There was also the problem with other reactions he had to her statement. How could he feel amused and infuriated at the same time? Why did Soi always react so strongly to everything and jump to conclusion without thinking them through rationally? Did she hate him so much? It seemed like she must, if she could believe anything of him. He was trying to think of something to say but didn't get a chance.

 

“I don't believe we have anything to discuss, now or ever, Captain Hitsugaya. Don't worry. I only came here today because I promised to help Kiyone. I won't disclose your `secret' affair with Captain Kyoraku to anyone.” She turned her face away and moved toward the door.

 

“If you leave I'll tell Ukitake everything,” he said desperate for her to listen to him. How could she have got it so wrong?

 

Soi continued walking, obviously not listening to him. Her back was rigid and her steps moved her quickly toward the door. She seemed eager to leave.

 

He tried something corny for a reaction. Even he knew it sounded desperate. “You're cute when you're angry.”

 

She ignored him and opened the door.

 

“I don't want to marry Momo,” was his final try, but the door shut before the words were out of his mouth. It had all happened so fast. He had never expected to hear that accusation from her mouth. How could she, of all people, believe that he preferred men? Hadn't they fucked and hadn't he kept pursuing her, even when she threatened him? Did she even have a recollection of that?

 

He stared at the door. His first impulse was to follow Soi and demand that she listen to him and allow him to prove that he wasn't interested in Shunsui. There was a benefit to that plan: the proof, but was there any point? He thought he cared, but did he? Did he even care if she told anyone? Maybe it would keep the female population of the Seireitei from his door, but then there was the male contingent and he didn't want to have to deal with advances from any of them. A brief vision of being approached by Captain Kurotsuchi passed through his mind, causing him to shudder. The alcohol made his thoughts random and unpleasant.

 

Suddenly his body forced him to acknowledge how he felt. His head throbbed with pain and he felt so tired that even if he wanted to he couldn't have followed Soi. He considered briefly going to his office, but the idea held no appeal and it was doubtful he would be able to make it. There would be no Matsumoto to offer tea and consolation and maybe a hangover remedy. The whole of the Seireitei was in an uproar. What did it matter if a few stupid papers weren't read or signed? It could wait until he knew what was happening with his lieutenant. Thinking like this was making him depressed and he felt sorry for himself. He no longer felt like laughing, but instead wanted to brood and feel bad. Not so much he wanted to do it, but it was the way his emotions were travelling and he was already feeling bad and brooding over Soi's injustice.

 

“Screw this. I'm going back to bed. Soi can do what she likes. I don't want to know. If she's so fucking stupid, let her believe what she wants. If it was anyone but her I'd think she was jealous.” He washed and sent a Hell Butterfly to his 3rd seat ordering him to make sure that he wasn't disturbed. After drinking copious amounts of water he returned to his bed and slept.

 

Normally he wouldn't have been able to sleep while the raw scrape of emotions muttered continuously in his mind and it caused vicious dreams of blood, pain, torture and Orihime's cooking and a rather unnerving dream of kissing Kira who turned into Yumichika and then into Soi. When he finally woke, he was sweating from the effects of that dream. If he hadn't woken, he feared who he'd dream about kissing next. Wiping his face with his hands he lay there, composing himself before finding out what time it was. His lack of dizziness and ability to push away unwelcome thoughts suggested that he was no longer under the influence and he was thankful that the hangover that he had anticipated had not appeared.

 

Noticing more he glanced toward the window. It was quiet, night had fallen. He'd slept through the day and achieved nothing. Matsumoto would be proud of him. Some days she seemed to be busy and yet achieved nothing. He missed her comforting presence, but she hadn't been around much since she'd become involved with Captain Zaraki. All the same, knowing she was there had provided some form of security. Of all the people in the Seireitei he relied upon her.

 

“I don't want to just sit here and think. If I do I'll start thinking about how I can't do anything. Just waiting around is beginning to aggravate me,” he decided, but who would he go and see? Immediately he thought of Soi. That brought into clear relief the last conversation they'd had. Was that even a conversation, or an excuse for her to make accusations with no basis? Visiting Soi would be a very bad idea. Emotionally he wanted to go and see her and make her believe that she was wrong, but experience indicated that she was not the easiest person to convince of anything. He'd leave it for another day and then try to talk to her, or not. He had to think about it. It wasn't something he wanted to decide now. Every time he thought about her his blood pressure increased, whether through anger or lust, or both he wasn't sure. Probably both.

 

Washing and dressing in a fresh uniform only occupied a portion of his attention. To occupy the rest of his mind he decided he would go and visit Captain Ukitake and then maybe visit Momo. He was still tired, so after he'd made the two visits he's return home and sleep again. Tonight no visitors would be welcome and sake was something he wouldn't drink. Tomorrow he'd sort the rest out. It could wait. Leaving his quarters he went to a nearby noodle shop and ate a bowl of the house special, not tasting the food, and burning his tongue on the hot liquid as he tried to eat too fast.

 

Again in the night darkened streets he walked purposefully toward 13th Division. As Soi had not kept her part of the bargain, he felt no need to abide by it. He sincerely hoped that Captain Ukitake wouldn't ruffle his hair or try to give him some gift. That freaked him out slightly when the man pressed chocolates on him. Matsumoto seemed to enjoy them, but he'd be better off giving them to Zaraki's lieutenant. She was the person who had a fondness for sweet things. He preferred things with a hint of bitterness about them, like Soi. Damn, he was thinking about Soi again.

 

A cloud obscured the moon and he looked up to see a large black shape covering the face of the night's sun. It was the only cloud he could see, like the dark cloud that blotted his life, hiding away the light and only providing darkness that he hoped would soon pass.

 

Blanking his mind of these aberrant thoughts, he knocked on the door of the 13th Division office, noticing that the light was still on and hopefully the Captain was still there.

 

Rukia Kuchiki opened the door and stood there startled, her mouth a circle in her face and she nervously glanced back inside the room. She seemed tired, as if she had spent some time there and he could hear muffled sobbing from within the room.

 

“Who is it, Rukia?” The voice was almost unrecognisable as that of Jushiro Ukitake. It did not have the normal kind moderate tones, but sounded almost angry.

 

“It's Captain Hitsugaya, Sir,” she answered nervously, still standing in the doorway. She made a strange face at Toshiro, almost as if she was warning him away. He looked at her through narrowed eyes wondering what she was trying to do.

 

“Invite my brother captain in, Kuchiki,” was the command rapped out. The voice was stern and authoritative, again not recognisable as that of the 13th Division Captain.

 

“Ur, yes Captain Ukitake. Should I summon Isane? I think you're unwell, Sir and we must avoid an attack,” Rukia said as she reluctantly moved from the door way. “Please enter, Captain Hitsugaya. My Captain was going to send for you.”

 

“Please, not Isane. Please,” a familiar voice sobbed.

 

Entering the room he saw that Captain Ukitake was sitting behind his desk. A dark frown marred his forehead and he seemed to be watching Kiyone who was curled opposite him in a chair, crying and looking like she would like to run as far from her captain as possible. The only other person in the office was Rukia who looked even more uncomfortable than Kiyone. At least she wasn't crying.

 

“Take a seat, Captain Hitsugaya,” invited the 13th Division captain, but it sounded more like an order than an invitation. Warily, Toshiro sat down wondering what Kiyone had done this time.

 

“It is fortunate that you decided to visit this night. Or was it by design? You are aware that Captain Fong had finally persuaded my third seat to disclose her secret to me?”

 

What secret? What had Soi done and why was he involved? Slowly he shook his head as he looked at each of the occupants in turn. Rukia was the only one standing and she was moving her weight from one foot to another as she looked imploringly at Kiyone.

 

“I don't know what you're talking about. I came here to speak on a different matter; one relating to unfortunate practical jokes,” Toshiro said, trying to work out how he could leave quickly. The strained atmosphere in the room was making him feel off centre.

 

“Have you come to claim paternity? Accept your responsibilities and marry the mother of your child?” Captain Ukitake's intelligent eyes assessed Toshiro as if judging him to be little more than an underling who had failed his master in an important task.

 

Starting at the question he looked at Rukia. Mother of his child? Who? She shook her head and pointed at Kiyone in a surreptitious manner and guessing what she meant, he shuddered. “No. I am not! I've never kissed the female, let alone bedded her,” was his quick response.

 

The man sitting opposite drew in a deep breath. Glaring at Kiyone he demanded, “Is this man the father of your child?”

 

“No,” wailed his third seat as she shook her head vehemently.

 

Releasing the breath he had taken, Ukitake picked up a small elegant silver paperknife that was lying on his desk. It looked sharp but all he did with it was tap it gently against the table top as his eyes seemed to look inward. Suddenly he smiled. “That's something. I don't like to think of; you shouldering such a heavy responsibility while still so young, Captain Hitsugaya.” A hard look crossed his face and the turned again to Kiyone. “Then why was Captain Hitsugaya seen entering your quarters with you yesterday?”

 

What was the man talking about? He'd been one of the reasons Kiyone had attempted to seduce Toshiro.

 

“It was because of a note the 3rd seat found in her pocket,” Toshiro explained heavily. If the man was insisting on people accepting their responsibilities it was time he did so.

 

For a split second, Captain Ukitake looked blank, then his brows drew together. “I don't understand what you mean.”

 

The answer threw Toshiro who sat stiff with surprise at the response. “The note; the one you wrote the night Matsumoto...when Ichimaru, with Shunsui,” whichever way he tried to say it, the words refused to be uttered the way he wanted. He felt flustered that he couldn't convey the message he wanted to send.

 

A strange, guilty look overcame the Captain and he looked at Kiyone and then Rukia and then gazed steadily at Toshiro. “I helped write the note, but Shunsui assured me he threw it away. Yes, the fact that Kiyone was so upset worried me considerably, but the note was only meant as a way for me to exorcise my frustration. It was never intended to be read by her or anyone.”

 

The anger that had been evident had drained away from Ukitake and he looked tired and ill. Rukia hastily sent a Hell Butterfly to summon someone from 4th Division to attend the Captain while Kiyone watched him fearfully. She rose from her chair and began fussing over her superior, pouring him water, speaking to him in hushed tones and most of all, apologising, over and over.

 

“I'm so sorry. I made a mistake and Captain Fong insisted I tell you. I didn't mean to upset you. I'm really very sorry. I never wanted to make you feel unwell or angry. Will you forgive me, Captain? Please? Captain Hitsugaya said he won't take matters any further because he doesn't think it's my fault, but it is.”

 

“Captain Fong has done me an invaluable service. I doubt if any other Captain could have obtained such a fast result. I am now in her debt,” Captain Ukitake said slowly.

 

“I'm so sorry, Captain,” the tears threatened to overwhelm Kiyone again.

 

“Kiyone, that's enough. I think if you want to show your remorse, you'll tell our Captain what he wants to know: who is the father of your child,” Rukia's clear voice broke through the imploring words that Kiyone seemed to have trouble preventing.

 

Kiyone stood still, frozen in the act of wiping her Captain's brow with a small towel. Slowly her eyes moved to Rukia and she flinched slightly.

 

“I'm asking because I think you need to the support of a husband if you are going to have a child,” Captain Ukitake explained kindly. “You need the emotional support.”

 

The reaction that Kiyone displayed was unexpected. She began to giggle hysterically.

 

With two strides Rukia was in front of her and placed her hands firmly on her shoulders. “Calm down. The worst is over, but now take that final step. Is the man married?'

 

Still giggling, Kiyone shook her head. Tears were mixed with the laughter and Rukia patted her shoulder and then placed her hand on it again.

 

“Is he a Shinigami?'

 

Kiyone nodded, her head bobbing up and down rapidly.

 

“Well, he is obliged to support you in some way. Who is it? Is he in this Division?”

 

This time Kiyone shook her head vigorously.

 

Toshiro was getting bored with the questioning. It was none of his business but he wanted to know the answer as much as Captain Ukitake. Who had impregnated Kiyone?

 

“They'll keep asking until you tell them. Why not make it easy? Otherwise we'll be here all night,” was his suggestion.

 

“He'll never marry me, never!” Kiyone wailed, her hysteria increasing. “He's still in love with your sister.”

 

A stillness settled over the room as the identity of the father dawned on the two captains and Rukia. Rukia stood there, her mouth open and her eyes blank as she stared into Kiyone's face. Captain Ukitake started coughing violently, gasping for breath and Toshiro shook his head, trying to clear his ears. He couldn't have heard that, it was impossible. Looking at the 13th Division captain he began to worry that this attack was worse than normal.

 

“Captain, drink this immediately. Rukia, stop staring at my sister and help me. Kiyone, go and sit down and behave. We need to have a serious talk. I can't believe that you tried to keep this secret from me. Did you think it would go away?” Isane had obviously entered the room quietly and had overheard part of the conversation. It would have been quite possible with the amount of noise Kiyone had been making.

 

Rukia rushed to assist Isane, paused, glanced at Kiyone and said, “Byakuya?” The question radiated disbelief.

 

Kiyone nodded reluctantly.

 

“Kiyone, I know that you have not had anything confirmed. You are only guessing. Let me assist the Captain and then I will check to see if you are, in fact, going to have a child and you're not just acting like one,” Isane upbraided her sister.

 

Toshiro was still reeling from what he had heard. The cold and unemotional Captain Kuchiki, the man who seemed to have rational thoughts dominating the sordid emotions had been tempted, and by Kiyone of all people. He couldn't see it. It couldn't be correct.

 

Captain Ukitake's breathing was easing slightly from Isane's ministrations. Rukia was helping, but her movements were mechanical. Her thoughts were obviously elsewhere and Toshiro felt like an intruder in this scene. He had been drawn into this situation unwillingly and he seriously wished that he hadn't decided to visit 13th Division this night.

 

Once she was sure that the attack was passed, Isane summoned her sister into an adjoining room. Minutes passed as they waited for the verdict. Rukia looked worried, more worried than Toshiro would have expected. The 13th Division Captain sat quietly, trying to keep his breathing easy as he slowly relaxed in his chair.

 

“It will be all right,” he assured Rukia, but his voice did not hold much hope. “If it is true, your brother will do the honourable thing.”

 

Even though the words had been spoken, Rukia still frowned, while her teeth bit her bottom lip.

 

“Maybe I should go,” Toshiro said, wanting to escape the tension in the room. He'd go and find Shunsui and then perhaps exact a little justice. Maybe give him a very close shave, with his zanpakuto, shave his whole head. That would be a reminder not to involve him in any more of his `pranks'.

 

“No, please stay. You may as well know the truth seeing you already know the rest of it,” Captain Ukitake said. He had closed his eyes and leant his forehead against his fingertips. “I am sure I can trust your discretion.”

 

The door opened and all eyes turned to it expectantly. Isane ushered her sister out and made her sit in the chair she had recently vacated. “As it is your Captain, you have the responsibility of telling him,” she told Kiyone.

 

Seemingly dazed Kiyone moved her lips but nothing emerged. She tried again. “I'm pregnant. I'm going to have Captain Kuchiki's baby.” It was hard to tell if she was pleased or distressed by the confirmation of her fears.

 

Hesitatingly Rukia asked Kiyone, “Have you spoken to my brother about this; that you thought you might be pregnant??”

 

Kiyone, now looking more composed, her eyes following her sister as she checked on the Captain shook her head. “No. He won't talk to me. Each time I've seen him he shun-poed away before I can even say hello.”

 

Rukia's forehead creased. “That sounds like Byakuya. But if you're carrying the Kuchiki heir he should know. I'll talk to him.”

 

“No, you will not. It is my duty to talk to Captain Kuchiki,” said Captain Ukitake weakly. `But not tonight. Assistant Captain Koutestu, Captain Hitsugaya, will you be here tomorrow morning as witnesses to our conversation? Rukia, you will go now and inform your brother that I need to see him.”

 

Unwilling to become further involved, but unaware how to deny the request, Toshiro nodded. Life was becoming far too complicated.

 

A.N.

 

Okay, if you haven't picked it up yet Soi and Toshiro really have a problem with hearing what each other means. Or they don't listen. Just like real people.

 

The time difference between Different Circumstances and For The Love of a Friend is now 6 days.

 

Thanks to Bastion for the regular encouragement, cancerchick16, and anhimals for the reviews.

 

Soundtrack

`One Too Many Mornings' Chemical Brothers

`The Passenger' Iggy Pop

`A Better Lie' Pitchshifter

`In My Bones' Groove Armada

 

Review. I like reviews.