Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ For The Love of a Friend ❯ Love Hindered ( Chapter 19 )

Tite Kubo owns Bleach and the characters depicted therein. The characters in this story are not mine.

Love Hindered

 

He wondered if he should return to his quarters as there was no point in remaining at 13th Division and he didn't feel like confronting either Soi or Shunsui after this exchange. All he wanted to do was sleep and see Matsumoto again. The events of the morning and his confused reaction had made him decide that Soi was no longer his problem or his concern. He wouldn't accept her actions and words because they were inexcusable.

 

Before any of them left, Captain Ukitake said very solemnly, “I trust all of you to be discreet. I don't wish for this become common knowledge until we find a solution.”

 

At this request, Toshiro felt a tug at his stomach as he recalled that he knew about another pregnancy that had not yet been disclosed. He still had yet to tell Momo and then he felt bad. Until now he had been waiting for Matsumoto to help him, and now he didn't want to tell Momo anything until such time as he knew how Matsumoto was. Why did he keep putting all these conditions on himself? He should just tell her, but he didn't want to do so without some support. Captain Unohana was a practical woman. She would be a good choice to help him break the news, when he broke the news, but he would have to wait until she returned. What were another few days? He wasn't even sure he would be permitted to tell her, or that she'd be able to accept the truth.

 

He didn't want to tell Momo. That was the crux of the matter. If he told her it would be the end of her dreams, or even worse, the beginning of even more absurd fantasies. Their friendship would never be the same, but it had already changed into a state he no longer recognised. While he still felt he should ask Momo to marry him, the thought had become more unpalatable. He meant what he had said to Soi when he was trying to make her listen to him, but he considered he had an obligation. This situation reminded him of it too clearly. Kiyone and Momo were both pregnant, unmarried and the father was disinterested. Well he wasn't sure if Captain Kuchiki would accept paternity, and judging from Rukia's consternation at the news, she was unsure of her brother's reaction. Toshiro could imagine the expression on the Captain's face, the downward turn of the mouth, the cold eyes and the arms crossed over the chest as his forehead creased in a frown.

 

“I won't say anything,” Toshiro said. Then he knew there was a question he wanted to ask Kiyone. Instead of restraining his tongue he said clearly, “If you thought you were pregnant with Captain Kuchiki's child, why did you try to seduce me?”

 

All eyes turned to Kiyone who had paled at the question. Isane raised her eyes and the unbelieving stare she turned on her sister showed Toshiro that he should have waited to ask the question another time.

 

“I don't think I really would have…. It was the note that made me act that way. I didn't mean… I was really scared,” Kiyone said.

 

“That's not enough of a reason,” Toshiro persisted. The note didn't explain much except that it gave her the idea in the first place.

 

The convulsive swallowing motions Toshiro observed in Kiyone's throat made him begin to understand what she had planned. “You planned to seduce me, and then tell me I got you pregnant? That's low, unbelievably low.”

 

Kiyone's startled expression showed that Toshiro had been correct with his assumption and he felt angry. Why did everyone try to use him?

 

“Third seat Koutestu, I am ashamed that you would even contemplate such a thing,” Captain Ukitake did not sound pleased. His expression was thunderous as his third seat seemed to shiver as he looked at her.

 

“I wasn't thinking clearly,” Kiyone said in a low voice. “I didn't want Captain Hitsugaya to marry me. I only wanted him to look out for me; at least I think that was my idea. It's not really clear to me what I was thinking. I can't remember but I wanted someone on my side.”

 

Isane strode toward her sister and leant close to her. “You'd been drinking, hadn't you? Don't you know how dangerous that is? Even if you only suspected you were pregnant you shouldn't have been drinking. You could have told me. I'm your sister. And trying to entrap Captain Hitsugaya was very wrong. How much did you drink?”

 

The tension was heavy in the room and Toshiro wondered if Isane was going to slap her sister. He had never seen her in a mood of this nature, but then realised he had never seen the sister interact before.

 

“Only one, but it seemed to go straight to my head. I don't know why,” Kiyone said.

 

“Because of the drug that we were all given at the party, of course. I thought that would be obvious. You can be so foolish, sister. Now, I begin to understand how it affected you so completely. Promise me; no more drinking.”

 

Nodding slowly Kiyone still looked worried

 

“We have things we need to discuss, Captain Ukitake. If you will excuse us,” Isane asked politely.

 

The Captain nodded in response and the sisters left quietly, Isane, propelling Kiyone out the door while holding onto her upper arm.

 

“You can leave too, Rukia. You may wish to speak to your brother and perhaps spend time with your lover.”

 

Rukia started at the last statement and a strange look crossed her face. “Sir?” The question sounded almost guilty and that didn't seem right.

 

“Renji Abarai. Your future husband. The man your brother finally agreed you could marry after Captain Zaraki basically forced him into a corner. Remember the day he married, Captain Zaraki told your brother about the love you two had for each other? You can't have forgotten so quickly.” Captain Ukitake seemed to find her question peculiar.

 

Toshiro remembered that comment. Zaraki had said something about owing Renji something, and Matsumoto had appeared embarrassed for a moment, then relieved. The 6th Division Captain had turned very cold and Toshiro thought he might forbid any further interaction between the two friends, but later that same day Rukia's engagement to Renji had been announced.

 

“Oh, Renji. Um, yes Sir,” Rukia stuttered looking confused. Why did she look confused? How could she forget who she was going to marry?

 

“I'm surprised you asked to postpone your wedding for so long, but at least it means that you're not pregnant. I think one pregnancy in 13th Division is enough at one time. Perhaps one pregnancy is enough for the whole of the Seireitei,” Captain Ukitake teased affectionately. A small smile warmed his face.

 

Toshiro had to conceal his impulse to contradict the older captain, but resolutely kept his peace. Momo's pregnancy wasn't his secret to disclose.

 

The woman seemed to flush and then Rukia's laugh grated shrilly on Toshiro's ear. “Yes, you're right Captain. It's better to wait until this war is over, then I can concentrate on the wedding preparations. Good night, Sir, Captain Hitsugaya,” she said quickly in a very high voice and exited the room so fast that Toshiro was certain he had only seen a blur close the door.

 

“Rukia seems rather upset at the news of her brother's impending fatherhood,” the Captain commented, his frowning stare fixed on the door. “I know she is very fond of Byakuya, but her response was excessive. I wonder if she is worried about her position within the Kuchiki clan. No, that wouldn't be right. She never uses her rank, most of the time she ignores it and acts as if she had no special privileges.”

 

“It's the shock. I didn't believe it when Kiyone admitted the truth.” Dumbfounded was the way he'd felt when the father of the baby had named. Toshiro had imagined a few other people as the father: Ikkaku, Iba or the other 13th Division 3rd seat, Senatoro. It had not crossed his mind that the noble Captain Byakuya Kuchiki would have had a casual fling with Kiyone, or anyone at all.

 

He remembered there had been rumours, none of them substantiated, that Captain Kuchiki had been encouraged to pay court to the infamous Yoruichi Shihoin while she was still Captain of 2nd Division, despite their age difference, in order to forge an alliance between the two noble families, but neither of them had complied with their families demands. Their unspoken rivalry to each be better at shun-po had become the stuff of tall tales. Having met Yoruichi he could see that the proposed match between the two would never have worked. The competitive nature of both of them would have overshadowed any other emotion. Captain Kuchiki took his responsibilities too seriously, while Yoruichi seemed to treat hers lightly. Their temperaments were so different that a marriage would have been problematic if they loved each other, but without even the basis of friendship any union between the two would have been short. Why he was thinking about this now, he didn't know. It was unimportant.

 

Captain Ukitake gazed for a few minutes at Toshiro, his mind probably considering something he knew that puzzled him. “I apologise for the problems caused by my 3rd seat and my friend. I believed Shunsui when he told me he had destroyed the note, but it appears that the drugs influenced him to play a joke. It wasn't very funny.”

 

“I haven't enjoyed any of the jokes I've heard recently,” Toshiro said, his voice catching in his throat. “I don't think any of them were jokes.”

 

“Or funny.” The office was quiet as the two men thought about the recent events. “I miss Ran and I'm angry with Shunsui.”

 

“Me too.” Angry was one word, but it could easily be substituted with furious or infuriated. What was the man thinking? The ploy appeared to reunite the sisters. It was possible that was his intention, but to go to such lengths and cause difficulties for so many people did not endear him to Toshiro. Had he been aware of the far reaching consequences?

 

“We'll talk to Shunsui tomorrow. I think he needs to know that we're not happy.” The reflective nature of the tone did not hide the lurking anger that lay under the words.

 

A wry smile twisted Toshiro's mouth. “Maybe we should send him an anonymous note,” he suggested slyly.

 

“A very good idea Captain Hitsugaya, or even better we could send a note to Nanao.” The meaningful way that Captain Ukitake made the suggestion indicated that Shunsui had been asking for advice about his lieutenant from more than one source.

 

Remembering he'd made a similar threat to Shunsui, a reluctant laugh broke from Toshiro's lips. “While that might be amusing, I wouldn't wish anyone into that position unless they secretly liked that person.” For a few moments he wondered what would happen if Soi received a note that caused her to try to seduce him. Not that he would turn her down, so it wouldn't be an attempt. If he could think of the words he would write the note himself, but that would be stupid.

 

Rising to his feet he exchanged farewells with Captain Ukitake and left. He contemplated finding Shunsui, but he knew he'd probably be unable to talk to the man without trying to cause him severe pain. And he was definitely not going to see Soi. He'd wait until she came to see him and apologised. Soi apologising, that was about as likely as Sosuke Aizen begging forgiveness from Yamamoto and asking permission to return. He pushed the last thought away, denying that certainty. “Yes. I can imagine Soi apologising,” he thought without regard to the truth. A stupid vision of Soi on her knees, tears in her eyes as she abjectly expressed regret.

 

“I'm sorry Toshiro. I was fighting against my feelings. I love you and I've kept denying it. Forgive me and let me be part of your life again. Let me take care of you.”

 

Smiling, he grasped her hands and pulled her to her feet. “I forgive you Soi,” he told her before kissing her passionately, vowing this time no misunderstandings would mar their love.

 

That fantasy lasted for seconds. Soi would never tell him that she loved him, let alone that she even cared. More likely she'd use harsh, hard little words; attack him and try to kill or castrate him, or worse ignore him, turning her back on him when they met, all the while he would still be smarting from her accusations. These thoughts made him dread their next meeting. His future plans were to avoid 2nd Division as much as possible and with Zaraki and Captain Unohana away, it was unlikely there would be any Captain's meetings held. Seeing Soi again could be deferred, hopefully for weeks.

 

He was now near 4th Division and remembered he had not visited Momo all day, or yesterday. He entered, seeking his friend, but was stopped by Iemura, who was lurking outside her room.

 

“Captain Hitsugaya, before you see Lieutenant Hinamori, I would ask that you please do not tell her about the abduction of your lieutenant or the other events that have occurred. I worry about the effect if will have on her delicate sensibilities and it might cause her to have a relapse.” Iemura sounded very sincere and worried.

 

“Are you sure that's a good idea? You know how rumours get around,” Toshiro asked. He wondered briefly, for all that they had agreed to be discreet, how long it would take for the rumours of Kiyone's pregnancy and the paternity of the baby to spread. He trusted Isane, Rukia and Captain Ukitake, but Kiyone was a known blabbermouth. It was a good thing Shunsui had not been present during that conversation, otherwise Iemura would be asking him if he had heard about that particular scandal.

 

“I'm asking everyone who visits the lieutenant to talk only of general topics,” Iemura said haughtily. “If you don't agree, you are not permitted to visit.”

 

Crossing his arms across his chest, Toshiro observed the 4th Division officer closely. He dared to decide who could visit a lieutenant? He would bar the way for a Captain? From all he had heard, this man was supposed to be a coward, but he was here, prepared to dictate discussion topics to a superior officer. He decided to humour the man, for the moment. “So, she's still asking when Captain Aizen is going to visit her?” he swept aside all the pretence and went straight to the main problem as he saw it.

 

“Please do not mention that person in her presence.” Iemura drew himself up to his full height, trying to look imposing, but it didn't impress Toshiro. “Mentioning that name makes her become awkward and it is so different to her normal sweet nature. We are trying to decrease the use of sedatives in the treatment of Lieutenant Hinamori. They are not good for her in… or anyone.”

 

The slight pause made Toshiro wonder if the man knew of Momo's pregnancy. It was possible, but he thought that Captain Unohana had only confided the secret to her lieutenant. Even so, a competent medical officer could probably discover the truth very easily.

 

“I will do as you ask and not mention Aizen or Matsumoto. At the same time, I am certain that you will keep any medical information you have confidential,” he emphasised the last word heavily and Iemura nodded curtly in response before turning on his heel and walking away.

 

His hand on the door, he hesitated before opening it. He would tell Momo of her condition, by the end of the week with or without Captain Unohana or Matsumoto. It was only fair that she know. Again he felt the wave of confused emotion engulf him as he thought about breaking the news to Momo. Once again he wished his lieutenant would return; she at least would provide some counsel about how it should be done. With any luck she'd convince him he didn't have to propose to Momo. If she returned. If she was still alive.

 

Finally deciding that he should visit Momo, he pulled the door open. Hie friend lay in bed, apparently asleep. Standing at the foot of the bed he stared at her, noticing that she looked sad. It made him believe that she knew that Aizen had left, that he was not coming back, but when she was conscious it was too difficult for her to accept this truth. From his experience he knew that truth was often unpalatable and hard, but in the end, it was impossible to change these things. It was impossible to change other people. Even if you cared for them, tried to explain things, tried to be patient with them, it could all fail and there was no point in hope, no point in continuing to try. He wouldn't try. False hope might make him as removed from reality as Momo.

 

She stirred under the sheets and turned on her side, her hand cupping her cheek as she moved. “Yes, Captain Aizen. I will gladly do as you ask,” she said clearly and then became silent.

 

What dreams was she having? Happy dreams about the past when all had seemed simple. The normal squabbles, the routine duties and the training. Knowing what he did now, would he go back to that easier time and see the signs of betrayal? Would he want to live through that lie again? He walked to the door, preparing to leave. Turning, he looked once more at Momo, a casualty of the traitors and one who might not recover. She actually bore the physical wounds while the emotional scars affected so many within the Seireitei. Three Divisions were suffering without succour from their loss and there were others. Friends, lovers, worshippers. How widespread was the hidden anguish?

 

“Maybe Zaraki's killed them all and extracted our revenge. But knowing those men it's not likely. They'll try any ruse, any trick to escape and find a devious and unfair method to gain victory.”

 

“I love you, Captain Aizen,” Momo murmured.

 

Not wanting to hear anymore, Toshiro left. How long would her love last? If she didn't let it go would her sanity be a casualty? Was Iemura correct allowing her to exist within the fantasy she had created? He wished Captain Unohana would return, or if he visited Kira and Renji, her two old friends might have some insights into how she could be helped. He'd do that tomorrow. Walking disconsolately down the hallway he was surprised to hear a voice addressing him.

 

“Excuse me, Captain Hitsugaya, if you would be so kind, my Captain requests that you visit him.”

 

Looking up he saw the face of Nemu Kurotsuchi and immediately felt a moment of concern. He'd had that rather peculiar idea about her only that morning when he was still intoxicated. That brief moment when he had wondered what would have happened if she had been the person who tried to seduce him. Of course he wouldn't have been tempted! Except he would have been, because even thinking about it proved it was possible, but that had been this morning when everything had been easier. No woman could tempt him after that last conversation with Soi which had then been followed with the accusation of paternity for Kiyone's child. Once again he wished Matsumoto was there. She did manage to keep most of the women away from him, through her own methods and for that he was grateful.

 

“What does Captain Kurotsuchi want? It's getting late and I wish to return to my quarters,” he spoke harshly in an attempt to cover the irrational thoughts that had crossed his mind.

 

Nemu didn't answer him immediately. The silence seemed strange as she had approached him with the request. Hadn't her father told her of the reason for the request?

 

“He's very worried about the way ex-Captain Ichimaru managed to get into the Seireitei. He thought you might have some ideas,” Nemu said nervously.

 

Not interested in talking to the man, and the reason sounded spurious, Toshiro made his way to his quarters with Nemu following. “I don't feel like it. Your father can come and see me tomorrow or whenever. If he wants to talk about Matsumoto and her marriage I'm more likely to ignore him than listen. She's still missing and I care more for her return than your father's opinions. I don't know how Ichimaru got in. I only saw the man in the distance.” Until now he hadn't realised how much rage had been lying under the surface. Was it because of Soi, Matsumoto's abduction, Kiyone's attempted seduction or any of the other things that had plagued him in recent days? Nemu wasn't to blame for any of it but she was there and an easy target. They were now in the street outside his home and he was unwilling to enter or invite the woman inside.

 

Nemu stood quietly, her head bowed and her hands clasped in front of her, not saying anything or trying to protest. Her submissive attitude did not soothe him, it made him feel that he was being cruel and that only fed the anger that he was already feeling. “Nemu, go away. I'm not in the mood for company. I'll see your father later.”

 

“That's the point,” Nemu said. She sounded upset. “I don't dare return to Mayuri if you're not with me and he'll search for me if I don't return. Please, Captain, can I stay in your office tonight?”

 

The request staggered him and it also sounded wrong. If she had asked him last night, after he'd been drinking, he wouldn't have considered the matter for long, but after recent events the suggestion seemed staged. “No.”

 

“Or even in your quarters. My captain gave me instructions to please you,” Nemu continued.

 

The last statement made the hairs on the back of his neck rise. First one reason and now this whole encounter was turning into something else, urging him to remove himself as fast as possible. “Nemu, isn't there someone else you can go to? A friend? Lover?”

 

She shook her head. “I'm not permitted to see him anymore. My father found out and forbade me from interacting with him ever again, especially in view of which Division he's in. I asked Mayuri nicely, promised to continue to obey him in everything else, but he insisted. I didn't even complain when he beat me. Anyway, the man's not in the Seireitei. He's with his hero and that is where he wishes to be.”

 

The sadness in her voice made Toshiro pause. What he was going to say was against all the usual things he advised, but in this case it was unlikely she would or could accept his advice. “I know he is your Captain and you should follow his instructions but you don't have to obey him in everything.”

 

“Yes I do. Mayuri is my Captain. He explained it to me very clearly that I have to follow his instructions completely or he will reduce me to what I was before. Nothing. I don't want to become part of the nothing.” Nemu started crying, something Toshiro had never seen her do. She moved close and rested her head on his shoulder as she continued to cry.

 

“This can't be happening. Nemu doesn't cry,” he thought as he reluctantly patted her on the back. “Nemu doesn't cry and this seems too convenient and managed. Next thing I know we're going to be interrupted.” Pulling away from Nemu he opened the door to his quarters and pulled her inside, shutting the door firmly behind. He hoped no one had witnessed the few minutes they were together, but didn't hold too much hope.

 

Nemu sat neatly on a chair and continued to sob as Toshiro stood not knowing what to do. Giving into curiosity he asked, “Who is it? Is it a person who lives in Soul Society?”

 

Nemu wiped her eyes, becoming calm within an instant. “He is a Shinigami.”

 

Toshiro tried to grasp what she was saying. The man was a Shinigami, so he was either one of the traitors or with the rescue party that went to retrieve Matsumoto. The Division was the key and it was suddenly clear which one she meant. It had to be the 11th. The enmity between 11th and 12th Division became clearer all the time and there was one man he knew Captain Kurotsuchi hated almost as much as the 11th Division Captain: Ikkaku Madarame. It had to be him. He remembered their conversation on their return that he was now free to pursue his true romantic interest. When he'd learnt from Toshiro that his Captain was to marry he'd commented about being free to stay where he wanted with whom he wanted. At last that finally made sense.

 

“I can see your father would not be pleased about a liaison with the 11th Division 3rd seat,” he told Nemu.

 

She nodded in response, not appearing surprised at his deduction. “Mayuri said that as I've already slept with the lowest of the low I should sleep with anyone who could help him.”

 

For the second time in two days a woman was offering him sex, not because she wanted to screw him, but for other reasons. Nemu was a more tempting offer than Kiyone, but tangling with Ikkaku's love would be a bad idea and he wondered if Captain Kurotsuchi had made the woman offer herself to anyone else. If she had and Ikkaku found out he would be unhappy. As everything had become clear, Nemu's allure had shrunk and now he felt more worried than excited about being alone with her. Fighting Ikkaku would not be a challenge, but he didn't want to disrupt his recently and unwillingly formed alliance with the 11th.

 

Now his lieutenant was married to Zaraki, did that make them related in any way? Not that he was related to Matsumoto, but he did view her like an older sibling which is why he let her get away with so much. Did that make Zaraki his brother in law? A pseudo brother in law? But this wasn't the time or place to think about this, he had to find a solution to Nemu being in his quarters.

 

“Nemu, you stay here the night. I'll go and sleep in my office. I know the couch is comfortable as Matsumoto sleeps on it often, especially during working hours,” he said and began to leave.

 

“But I cannot do that,” she protested.

 

“Yes you can because I won't listen. Stay here. Let your father believe what he likes. It's not important to me,” Toshiro told her and then left. At least if Shunsui turned up he wouldn't have to talk to him. He wanted a night free of drinking, discussion and everything else.

 

He neared his office and then another alternative came to mind. He would go and sleep in the place he had met with Soi. It was unlikely she'd be there. After their last encounter, why would she? Unless she'd found another lover. Maybe it was misguided guilt that had caused her to accuse him and she was trying to pander to her conscience. That had to be it. But would she take her new lover to this place? She had replaced him quickly if his guess was true but he didn't want it to be true. Why did he think that? He didn't care. Even as he denied it, he knew he hoped she hadn't found a replacement so soon.

 

Standing outside the door he couldn't sense anyone's presence in the place. This was a good decision, to stay here the night. It had a bed and as most people didn't know where it was located or that he ever went there, he was almost assured of a peaceful night. No females with expectations would interrupt him here. Yawning widely, he quickly made his way into the room.

 

Only pausing to remove his coat and uniform, Toshiro rolled into bed and let sleep overcome him, taking him away from the increasing number of unpleasant factors that were now affecting his life.

 

A.N.

 

This is approx 5- 6 days behind the `Different Circumstances'.

 

Soundtrack

“I don't wanna know” Wicked Beat Soundsystem

“You've been flirting again' Bjork

“The Story” Thirty Seconds to Mars

 

Thanks to Bastion for the review. I owe you.

 

 

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