Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Hollow Charm ❯ Failed Miracle ( Chapter 23 )

Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters and tweaked them.

 

Failed Miracle

 

“If I succeeded, I was doomed to fail,” Orihime's voice was as despondent as he'd ever heard it, but with the rush of raw, red anger that he was feeling he didn't care.

 

She'd kissed the Hollow, despite everything he'd said to her in the past and she'd continued to kiss the thing even when he'd asked her to stop. Her sweet full lips had been pressed to the foul mouth as she'd pressed her body against it. The image would not get out of his mind. With his eyes opened or closed, he continued to see it and at each repetition of the picture his anger and disgust increased.

 

“You accepted the possibility when you made your choice,” Zangetsu was talking to Orihime and that did not please Ichigo.

 

The spirit was part of his zanpakuto and should only talk to him. The girl despite her actions was still his, and had no reason to speak to other males, spirit or not. Ichigo's skin itched strangely and nothing he saw pleased him. It wasn't only his skin itching. There was an internal ache that echoed through his bones, bloodstream, muscles, even his nerves. The small blood vessels in his brain throbbed, affecting his vision and comprehension of everything that was happening. The ache was at the cellular level and could not be ignored. It wasn't pain; not a pain that could be mapped or explained, but an ache that reverberated and wavered, occasionally increasing and then ebbing. Wrinkling his nose he scratched it and then rubbed his eyes, his neck. The skin continued to feel strange and his ability to see blurred, warping things into unpleasing shapes then when he blinked again it was back to normal. Why did it seem to go from day to night each time he blinked? There was a faint desire to shut his eyes, despite the images he saw when they were closed, and wait for everything to work itself out, but it might require something more than that. Something more drastic. Hopefully something that required immediate action and someone's painful and lingering death.

 

“I have to explain,” He heard the girl plead and he turned his face away from her. Nothing she said could excuse what she had done or justify why this ache had commenced and why she hadn't healed it. He'd keep her, none would be permitted to take her from him, but the way he felt about her had changed. The `love' that he thought he'd experienced had changed in some indefinable way to an emotion more complex with layers of deeper, darker impulses.

 

He felt strange. It could be the result of fighting that damned corrupt life form and then being held immobile by some trick of Orihime's, but he wasn't sure. He couldn't bring himself to look at her because he was certain he'd only see the image of her embracing and kissing his Hollow with fervour and passion and still that disquieting picture would not vanish from his mind. He'd asked her to marry him and within an hour he had witnessed her embracing another, a creature he'd tried to suppress and conquer ever since he knew it existed. Any trust he felt had been established between them during the time since the experience with the charm had withered. Where there was no trust there could be no love, could there? You had to be able to trust where you loved, but it didn't necessarily work the other way. You didn't need to love whom you trusted. You could hate someone, but trust them… to screw up your life. From now on, he'd make any person who crushed his dreams pay with their life, but he couldn't treat Orihime that way. In her case he wanted to show her the magnitude of her mistake and make her pay for it, until she learnt what it truly meant to love him.

 

How he'd ended up involved in the embrace instead of the Hollow, he didn't know but he felt angry and scared. She'd agreed to marry him and the next thing he knew she was kissing someone else who'd threatened to have sex with her in the most perverted ways and she hadn't rejected the thing. She'd opened her arms and mouth to the thing, in front of him, not even trying to hide what she was doing. Even though he'd pled with her not to continue, she had ignored him. Unless it had all been his imagination and none of it had happened, but why had she been kissing him a few minutes ago? He'd liked kissing her; he hadn't had enough of feeling her sweet lips against his, but not if they'd touched his Hollow's mouth. Who knew what foul diseases it might have? Or if even a simple touch from the thing could cause infection or decay.

 

The burning sensation in the pit of his stomach reminded him of a weird heat he'd felt recently, when he found his lips attached to Orihime's. The pain had been extraordinary in that it both repelled and felt essential. For some reason he'd welcomed the pain, maybe because he could feel a warm sinuous and soft body wrapped close to his and a sweet mouth from which he wanted to drink and taste. That had been Orihime and he'd gloried in the contact but he'd jerked away from her even when his senses had implored him to continue holding her close and kissing her. His brain had tried to override his instinctive reactions of breaking all contact, but as the two forces of brain and instinct clashed he had chosen to follow his instinct. For some reason he doubted he'd made the right choice.

 

Shaking his head, the other images and words returned; her conversation with the Hollow where she hadn't protested about the crude words he'd addressed to her and had even kissed him after he'd explicitly told her about his demented sexual fantasies. She must want to be treated that way, it could be the only explanation. All the time he'd thought she loved him; it was the Hollow, the contaminated thing he harboured inside him that she'd wanted.

 

Disgruntled at being ignored by Zangetsu he spoke again. “Oi; I asked you important questions,” Ichigo said to the spirit of his zanpaku-to, displeased that he was talking to Orihime. “I want some answers and now!”

 

“Where do you think the Hollow is?” Zangetsu said patiently.

 

The question made Ichigo pause and look around. He couldn't see the thing anywhere. He drew his blade expecting his other self to appear and challenge him to yet another pointless battle, but nothing happened. It had to be somewhere. Circling Zangetsu did not provide any evidence that the creature was hiding behind him. Reluctantly he circled Orihime, wondering if it was hiding behind her skirts, but there was nothing to be seen.

 

“He got bored and wandered off,” was an improvised answer that he knew wouldn't go down well.

 

Zangetsu raised an eyebrow and gestured with his hands. “How did he manage that?”

 

Tilting his head back, Ichigo rubbed his head as he thought. “You took him back, dissolved him.” The relationship between his Hollow and Zangetsu had never been clear to Ichigo. Despite the number of times the Hollow had said, “I am Zangetsu,” Ichigo still didn't believe him. It was like trying to work out why his uniform was always whole when he changed into his Shinigami form even after it had been virtually destroyed when he'd seen it last. Who'd repaired the broken seams and torn cloth? Who'd washed the thing and removed the blood, sweat and dirt from it? Dragging his mind once more away from the path down which it had wandered he tried for another answer. “I blacked out and defeated it and now it's gone?”

 

A dark chuckle greeted his last suggestion. “Did you defeat if before or after you blacked out? Until now you haven't fought when you were unconscious. Tell me how this miracle was achieved.”

 

The internal itch was becoming more irritating by the second. He felt his blood pump more quickly through his body and it seemed to rush to his face, making him feel hot. “You know everything, you tell me!” The yell erupted through his mouth and out of the corner of his eye he saw Orihime flinch at the noise and bring her cupped hands to her mouth. No matter how much he tried, he couldn't ignore the signs of grief on her face, the shimmer of the unshed tears and the ones already slipping down her cheeks.

 

Why should he feel guilty because the girl cried? She'd brought it on herself by her actions. If he had to pay for everything he did, why didn't others? His friends did what ever they felt without consequences and didn't show any worry that it might affect him. None of them. They were all too selfish. Everyone was selfish, except him. Dismissing any desire to comfort the girl he let the bitter thoughts flood him. Everybody else seemed to slip through life without his concerns or problems. When they fought Hollows it was mainly for fun, or to get money, notoriety, power or sex. He'd got none of those. Just scars, pain, humiliation and uncertain powers that wavered depending on some stupid set of stupid rules that were determined by stupid laws that no one would explain to him because they were stupid.

 

Glaring at Zangetsu he waited for the old guy to give him some enigmatic remark that would piss him off and make him rage. If he could grab hold of the man he'd make him answer, get him to explain all the stupid things that had been happening and maybe wring an answer out of him about how that stupid Hollow self of his could finally be defeated.

 

Ichigo couldn't remember feeling this type of rage for a long time. Not since before his mother died. There was a strange buzzing noise between his ears and without registering his actions he began to scratch. The worst achy itch was between his shoulder blades and no matter how much he twisted and turned he couldn't reach the spot with his nails. Bending his arm another way he again attempted to purge the itch, but it wouldn't work. Impatiently he grabbed his blade and used the handle to rub the skin. Immediately that part of the skin had been pacified another itch formed and then another.

 

“Stand still, Ichigo.”

 

He almost screamed with hysterical laughter when he realised his damned blade was trying to order him around when he was using it's handle to relieve an itch. Did it think it was below it's dignity to make him feel more comfortable? The thing was again trying to overwhelm him when he was weakest. Spinning the blade around with one hand, the other busily scrubbing at his side, he panted, “You didn't answer my question.”

 

The skin he had rubbed hurt now and looking at his arm which he had rubbed earlier, he saw blood running from the slashes that his nails had caused. Horror filled him but it seemed distant, a degree removed from his concern. Each part of his body cried for the relief of scratching, but from the sticky, slippery feeling of the moisture running down his back, his cheek, his arm and side, it was apparent that if did rub them he would bleed. This couldn't be happening. Under the blood he thought he saw brief flashes of white. It had to be his bones, but they were very close to the skin. It seemed wrong, but the pain of the itches distracted him from examining the matter too closely.

 

Until he'd been preparing to fight his Hollow, he'd been fine. Even when he was fighting him the wounds had been normal. This problem had only commenced after he'd seen Orihime kiss that creature. Vaguely he was aware that Zangetsu had been going on, but that wasn't important.

 

“What did you do to me?” The shout came out louder than he intended and instead of flinching, Orihime cringed, her hands even tighter against her mouth. It had to be something she had done because nothing else made sense. The blood continued to trickle out of the gashes on his body and he lifted his hands to try to hold the girl, to make her tell, but Zangetsu was there, in front of her and looming larger than normal. Or maybe it was another problem with his eyesight.

 

“Stand completely still, you fool. You're in danger.” Zangetsu had grabbed him and was holding him firmly, but gingerly, as if he was afraid of holding him too tightly.

 

His mocking laugh didn't reflect how ridiculous he found the statement. Danger? He was always in danger and no one seemed to care or worry about him unless it directly affected them. Zangetsu only cared because if anything happened to Ichigo, which he hadn't initiated, he might be affected. “I'm in danger? In danger of working out your little plot with that creature you force me to fight? It's been a long time coming, Zangetsu, but I know what you're doing. You've trapped me here and let my Hollow out while I was unconscious. And now I'm going to bleed to death.”

 

“It's not working. I made a mistake, didn't I? Oh, Ichigo, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean anything bad to happen. When I had the idea I thought it would only help you,” the girl was interrupting again and she was close, so close he could grab her and make her heal him. She'd turned to face Zangetsu. “What can I do? I must be able to do something!”

 

“The contact was broken too soon before the full merge could take. They're still at war, but it's in the one body,” a small flying form fluttered past his face and he lashed out, missing it my inches. “We must be able to do something.”

 

Zangetsu suddenly had Ichigo in a hold he could not break, obviously deciding that the danger he'd warned about warranted this move. Ichigo hated the incapacitating hold and struggled against it, not wanting to be close to anyone, except Orihime.

 

“Miss Inoue, you have to make him sleep, now. While he is sleeping his subconscious mind might be able to process what has happened and he will find some acceptance. If he does not accept or submit, all our work is for nothing and not only will he revert, it is decidedly feasible the Hollow will hold dominance.” Zangetsu was still ignoring him.

 

Strain showed around Orihime's eyes as Ichigo tried to break Zangetsu's grip. “Sleep? But that's a kido spell and I don't know….”

 

“What do you think your power is based upon? A blending of kido and reiatsu. Your powers will help you, and in truth I cannot. Not this time. Hurry. The union is splintering.”

 

“Don't you do anything to me, Orihime,” Ichigo commanded her, expecting her to comply immediately but instead she was looking at him, her forehead wrinkled.

 

“If I try that with…” her words were cut off and he found he was flat on his back, eyes tightly shut and limbs immobile, almost frozen.

 

“Not again,” he grumbled. Grateful he could at least hear his voice he didn't try to move. Instead of talking or trying to free himself he decided to try to gain some grasp on the situation.

 

If he had been in his mind before, was it possible for him to be unconscious now? As he attempted to think it through he wondered if his brain was beginning to unravel. First he had left his body in the human world before he went to Las Noches and while there Zangetsu had abducted him into his internal world. If the discussion he'd heard between the spirit of his blade and Orihime was to be believed, then he was removed by yet another layer from the human world. How many layers were there? Could this continue indefinitely, or was there a point where there were no more layers, or the soul was spread too thinly and began to crumble?

 

Was the whole thing a trick?

 

What the hell was he thinking? This was all crap. He'd fallen asleep and was having a dream about all this because he'd been studying too hard and killing too many Hollows. If he managed to have a break it would all sort out and if he returned to the Vizards they might be able to help him with his corrupt side. It was stress. He'd wake up and find he was in his bedroom, hiding from Isshin and Rukia, with Kon yammering on at him. Any minute now he'd open his eyes and everything would be back to normal.

 

“Wake up. We're not done yet.”

 

Now stress was making him hear his Hollow. Not that he only heard it when he was experiencing stress, but there was no other way he could hear it. Maybe he wasn't in his bedroom.

 

A new fear surfaced. Orihime had, with Zangetsu's connivance, knocked him out and let the Hollow be the victor. He'd been incarcerated in the place that the Hollow was normally kept and until he worked out a way of challenging the situation he was stuck. If he yelled and carried on only the Hollow would hear him and, knowing the nature of the creature, it would make him happy.

 

“I said wake up, Shinigami. We can stop this.”

 

Why was this making no sense to him? If he opened his eyes he'd see, but what would he see? Orihime kissing Zangetsu? A grimace of distaste stretched his mouth as he thought about it. Impatient at the image he tried to picture something else. The idea of holding Rukia in his arms and kissing her fluttered briefly at the edge of his mind, but for some reason, she kicked him in the shins and then punched him in the stomach. It had the strange feeling of an event that had actually happened, but he couldn't remember when. And Rukia was with Renji. He didn't want the two of him deciding that they'd prefer to sort him out before they sorted out the Hollows, which they might if he tried to kiss Rukia. The chances of him surviving the dual attack were slim. Why was he even thinking of it?

 

What about kissing Tatsuki? She was a girl, admittedly her breasts were smaller than Orihime's, but they'd known each other forever. What would her mouth feel like against his? It would be interesting to attempt a kiss, but Tatsuki was in the human world and aside from being good friends with Orihime, he saw her almost like a sister. He'd grown up with the girl and she'd beaten him up enough times when he was younger. If he tried anything there was the large probability that he'd require a full body cast, and she liked Uryu, didn't she?

 

That was wrong. The two of them pointedly ignored each other, taking care not to ever be alone together or even standing next to each other. Why was he imaging them as a couple? He couldn't remember a time when they even spoke to each other.

 

The voice, louder now and becoming increasingly threatening, yelled at him again. “Hey, jerk face, wake up. Stop lying there like a lump of meat and move. I'm bored.”

 

The whining sounded like Kon, but the voice and attitude were more like his Hollow. If he combined the Hollow and Kon would he escalate his problem or would each of them lose their most irritating traits? Would it be possible to combine the two?

 

A sharp point ripped into his side and he yelped and rolled away from the pain.

 

“What a wimp! A little cut and you screech like a dog. Get up.”

 

The pain left no room for doubt. If he didn't do anything, whoever was with him would jab him again and lying there accepting death didn't fit in with the future he wanted. Though, his future seemed a little unpleasant if all the events had really happened. Everything had been fine until Zangetsu had decided it was time for yet another contest. He'd been looking forward to fighting the Arrancar. Some of them looked like they might have some new moves and different attacks. Watching Uryu and Chad demonstrate their new abilities would have been interesting as well, but he was missing out on it because of old man Zangetsu and his stupid Hollow.

 

`What do you want this time?” Reluctantly he opened his eyes to find he was in a place he hadn't seen before. It was a small dimly lit room with no visible door or window. No furniture and bare walls and…

 

His Hollow.

 

But unlike the cocky creature he'd seen before. Half of the body was twisted inward and distorted, black and white streaks running through the body, causing some areas to be grey and others to appear either elongated or shortened. With a sudden exclamation he looked at his body and exhaled with relief as he saw no change. The Hollow appeared to be having trouble in remaining standing.

 

“Yeah. I'm forced to change to fit with you, but nothing happens to you, does it Kingy? No. King's don't have to change. They get their tame witches to spindle and mutilate other beings and then bind them together. I nearly got free of you.” The Hollow's voice echoed with the tang of pain and horror.

 

“I nearly defeated you,” Ichigo decided to brazen it out as he didn't know what the creature was talking about.

 

“In a pig's ear.”

 

“But look at you…” Ichigo began gesturing to the ruin that was the Hollow.

 

“Not you, idiot. This is a power beyond your ability. That Orihime chick did this when she tried to bind us together. She nearly did it too and if you'd let her continue to kiss you then this wouldn't be happening. But because you keep your brains in your arse I got my chance.”

 

Finally something that had been said before made sense. Orihime had tried to combine both the Hollow and himself, because she believed they belonged together? That was one of the sickest suggestions he'd ever heard. To combined a thing like his Hollow with him. He'd never be free of its suggestions or revolting, but captivating, urges.

 

That thought made him freeze. Even his breathing ceased as he took in the gravity of that admission. Was he so close to the thing?

 

Trying to break the fear he spoke. “Your chance?” While he was trying to work out a way to fix the situation he may as well talk to the thing to find out if it had any information which might be helpful. He did not try to pretend that the Hollow would be honest; the thing enjoyed lying more than breathing, but any time could be used as an advantage if he handled it the correct way.

 

“My chance to try to break out again, but then Zangetsu had to get involved didn't he? And now we're here,” the disgruntled voice was quiet for all the weight of emotion contained in the words.

 

“Why?”

 

“You really need to do something about your communication skills, King. Talk means more than the occasional word or questions all the time. I'm bored of talking to you already, not that you ever say anything interesting,” the Hollow half turned away in disgust.

 

Slowly, very slowly, he began to put things together. Orihime had done something, what he wasn't sure, to try to meld his Hollow self with him, but doing so hadn't worked due to his impatience. For some reason the Hollow had been affected by the attempted merge which had twisted it and as soon as it could it tried to break out of him again. It was the Hollow that had caused the aches and itching…

 

And the change in his personality.

 

That was why he'd had those wildly mixed feelings about Orihime. The anger and other emotions that had been locked in the Hollow were being released within him and he was feeling them fully. All the hatred and anger.

 

Unwillingly he remembered the one sided conversation the girl had with him and the Hollow. She'd worked out that they were two separate parts of the one person and had tried to unite them through the only means she thought would work. Her love.

 

The risk. He found he was shaking at the thought of the risk. If the Hollow had got loose it would have fulfilled every vile threat it had uttered. Having been in touch with those emotions he knew the threats had not been idle, like he'd imagined. She had risked herself, prepared to sacrifice herself and emotions because she wouldn't know if the new combined Ichigo would reject her for her actions, kill her or love her. Even now he wasn't certain how he would react once he was combined with the Hollow because that was the only way he could get out of this room.

 

“You're right,” he said, unbelievingly uttering those words to the thing that seemed to be shaking with anger, pain or laughter as it faced away from him. “We do have to talk or we'll never get out of here. This time neither of us can afford to win or lose.”

 

“Huh?” This time it was his other self that gave the brief and questioning reply.

 

Ichigo took a deep breath as he prepared to utter the words he felt proved that he wasn't the hero. “We have to compromise.”

 

=====================================================Au thor's Note

 

Yet again I didn't choose to take this path. The integrity of the story demanded it. Despite all the fairy tales, myths and legends, a simple kiss never solves all the problems that face people. Hey, I wish it would but then imagine the amount of kissing that would mean in everyday life. It would be immoral and kind of creepy depending on whom you had to kiss. On second thoughts it is a bad idea and we won't talk about it ever again. The thought of kissing my boss is almost making my lunch return, in the worst possible way.

 

Now, compromise. Between Ichigo and his Hollow. That should be a fun idea to explore. Any offers? No? *gulp* Does that mean I've got to figure it out without any help?

 

Review please.

 

MS