Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction / Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ A Fistful Of Omake ❯ Omake-5th Labor -alt ( Chapter 52 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Hello. This is just a look at what "Retake" *could* have been like. One of the ideas i was kicking around for "Fifth Labor".

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Omake: 5th Labor-alt: Final Exam

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Ami picked up the phone. "No, Mako-chan, we can order take-out. We need to study."

"And find out who the Princess is," pointed out Luna, repeating that old refrain. She thought these Senshi had absolutely the wrong set of priorities. Still, Ami was better at acting like a princess than Usagi.

*Brrrrrngggg. Clik.* "Hello. Rival Relief Office. I will visit you for a consultation."

Ami blinked repeatedly. "I'm sorry. I've got a wrong number. Hello? Hello?"

The sound effect of an original series Star Trek transporter beaming someone in filled the air. Which was appropriate as that was the visual effect as well.

"Uhmmmm," Ami commented, her voice calm despite her hair being currently in disarray. "You don't *look* like Captain Kirk."

"Hi, I'm Greylle, Rival Relief Office, Asgard," said the short fellow in jeans and a long-sleeved t-shirt that read "Rival Relief Office - we do more with less." He quickly handed business cards out to all the girls present.

Ami blinked repeatedly then read the card. "'Greylle Shard, Rival Relief Office operative, silver dragon - young adult stage. Clerical magic and techno-wizardry a specialty.'"

Minako read from hers. "'Rival Relief Office operative: Greylle Shard. Level Three Non-divine Operative.'"

Rei, Usagi, and Makoto glanced at theirs, then shrugged. They couldn't read them anyway.

"Yes. Ami Mizuno, you have been found worthy of a limited wish." Greylle smiled at the young girl in front of him. Looked like he was at the beginning of the series.

"IT'S A TRICK OF THE DARK KINGDOM! EVERYONE TRANSFORM!"

Greylle looked down. "Oh, hello Luna. How's Artemis doing?"

"You can't fool me, you're a youma!" Luna said, fur bristling. Then her eyes went large as she caught the implications of what he'd said.

"Nope. Dragon. Entirely different thing." Greylle shrugged. "Anyway, Ami, work out what you want to wish for and i'll see what i can do. Keep in mind that while you're up against some tough opponents and have difficult exams ahead, you've got every chance of getting through them without wasting a wish on something you don't actually need."

"You said 'limited' wish?" Ami asked, deciding to take this at face value for now.

"Right. i'm with the Rival Relief Office, not the Earth Assistance Hotline or the Goddess Relief Office. That means no access to Yggdrasil or the Ultimate Force. What we've got instead is the Barely Adequate Force, which is actually merely a probability nudger. So operatives like myself rely on what resources we can scavenge from other timelines and alternate universes, plus whatever training we can get." Greylle shrugged. "Most of the time, it's enough. i've had a few failures, but mostly i've managed to pull off the conditions of the wish."

"Ah," said Ami, who was trying to figure out several important things about this. One, was this situation for real? Two, having read stories about monkey paw wishes, how could she pull something beneficial off? Three, why did this fellow look so sad?

"So anyway, why don't you ask a few questions and i'll see if i can answer them, then you can come up with something." Greylle sighed and motioned towards one of the floor cushions. "Mind if i take a seat? i didn't get a chance to read any of the files on this universe."

"Uhm, no," said Rei, trying to figure out how much this guy knew, if he was of the Dark Kingdom, and how a gaijin spoke Japanese so well.

"Great. i just completed my fourth labor not more than a month ago, and you wouldn't believe how busy they keep me. Plus, i haven't been in human form for very long since then and now that i'm a dragon at the base reality level it's very addictive to be a dragon fulltime." Greylle plopped down with a sigh. "Oh, man."

Noting that the boy's t-shirt now read "Dragons Are Good Antagonists, But They Make Better Allies", Ami considered carefully what sort of questions she should ask.

"How does Ami rate a wish?" Usagi grumbled.

"Of all of you, including the Outer Senshi, she has the lowest Sin Index." Greylle shrugged. "You have a kind and pure heart, Usagi, it's just that you're also a glutton, prone to fits of jealousy, quite often lazy, and you can be quite scheming. All of which are not out of normal boundaries for a Princess."

"...Usagi's the Princess..." Rei looked stricken.

"Yeah, Luna and Artemis were in suspended animation since the Moon Kingdom fell. Their memories are like swiss cheese, and frankly that's being kind." Greylle looked at the black cat. "They don't even remember how to change back to human form."

"That's right! I was able to do that! I..." Luna's eyes went round. "You're *not* from the Dark Kingdom, are you?"

"Never said I was," agreed Greylle.

"Who's Artemis?" Makoto asked, hoping that the answer was tall and male.

"White mooncat, Luna's future husband, advisor to Sailor Venus." Greylle took a computer out of somewhere and started tapping away at the keyboard. "Not a bad fellow, though he tends to be a bit overprotective at times and jealous of anyone Venus hangs around with."

"There are more Senshi?" Usagi pounced on the cue. More allies? She was a Princess?

"Yeah." Greylle looked off in the distance. "Look, it varies from universe to universe but this looks like one that's close to a mainline - meaning minimal diversions if anything noticeable at this level. Usually there are nine Senshi. Mercury, Venus, Moon, Mars, Jupiter - the Inners though Jupiter is technically considered an Outer. There's Uranus and Neptune, Saturn and Pluto, they're the Outer Senshi."

"There was something about Sailor Saturn," said Luna.

"Yeah, but i can't give details. You'll find out in a couple of years." Greylle shrugged. "Can't give away too many things or something critical might not come to pass. Unless you wish for foreknowledge or something like that."

"...Usagi's the Princess..." Rei repeated.

Makoto fixed the nice dragon a cup of tea under the understanding that this was at least a temporary ally, and frankly she was all in favor of that trend.

"Thank you," said Greylle. Hmmm. Good. Just like he remembered.

"That computer..." Ami said slowly. "It has a Mercury symbol on it."

"Yeah. One of your other selves in another universe." Greylle's sad look turned up three notches.

"What happened?" Ami asked, half dreading the answer.

"i'm not allowed to lie. Don't ask certain questions." Greylle drank deeply of the tea. "Anyway. Any ideas on that wish yet?"

Rei shook off her disbelief at *Usagi* being the Princess they were all supposed to protect. "What would *you* wish for, if you were us?"

Ami and Makoto looked suitably impressed. Usagi was just plain astonished.

"A fair question," acknowledged Greylle. "IF this is a mainline universe as it looks, several things are going to happen. You will face and defeat Beryl and the Generals she has corrupted with her mind control and the taint from Metal'la. It will not be an easy victory and it will be costly, but you can prevail. You will face several opponents who will fall into a very familiar pattern, like a sentai series. In order to defeat each one, you will each improve your skills greatly and draw on more power. In two cases you'll even be facing Senshi who oppose you. Eventually you'll triumph over the whole thing, there'll be an event called the Great Freeze or the Ice or some similar term. When that's over, 1000 years will have passed and there will be a new kingdom - Crystal Tokyo. A kingdom founded with the best intentions and several problems, and at least two great enemies."

"Yay! I get a kingdom! I'm gonna be a Princess!" Usagi briefly celebrated. She could sleep in late if she was a princess.

"Usagi will also marry the Prince of Earth, making him her King though he's actually more the Royal Consort - all the power will rest with the Queen." Greylle tried to remember details. He'd been in so many divergent timelines over the years.

"Wow, who do I end up with? Is he cute?" Makoto's eyes briefly went to sparkly.

"Do I end up with a boyfriend?" Rei asked, being a little boyhungry herself. This was anime apparently, and not the manga.

Greylle sighed. He didn't really want to answer this.

Ami reached the conclusion first. "None of us get a boyfriend, do we? What about my career as a doctor?"

Greylle shook his head once.

"No boyfriend?" "Not a doctor?" "What do you mean no boyfriend?" "What's my prince look like?"

"No, no, i mean you spend your life briefly in relationships with other girls but you never end up in a permanent relationship, and you've already met him - Tuxedo Mask." Greylle looked very unhappy but he was at least hoping that everyone had forgotten about their prior questions about his prior acquaintance with their other selves.

Ami whispered to Rei briefly, who looked puzzled but nodded.

"Uhm, dragon-sama," Rei decided to err on the side of politeness, "can you help me out with something in the yard?"

"i suppose," said Greylle agreeably, figuring that Ami wanted more time to figure out what to wish for.

As soon as the two were out of the room, Ami pounced on the stranger's computer.

"What are you doing?" Luna asked, torn between wanting to keep an eye on the stranger and see what Ami was up to.

"As soon as I received my computer, I found a way to create a hidden file that could only be accessed by a password. It's sort of a diary. If this 'other me' was actually like me... There it is. Now I just move to the last few entries..." Ami quickly started reading the text file revealed.

"What is it? What's..." Luna noticed the tears forming on Ami's face and immediately started reading the file herself. Makoto and Usagi quickly moved to flank Ami and read it as well.

Five minutes later, Rei and Greylle returned and were faced with the odd sight of three offduty Senshi and a mooncat who had quite obviously been crying.

Greylle was extremely confused. Even Luna was shooting him a sympathetic look. What exactly had gone on while he was helping Rei gather snacks?

"Uhm, dragon-cha... san? Can you excuse us briefly? We have to discuss something. Girl talk, you know." Ami said, only sniffling once.

"Y-y-yeah," said Greylle, now really confused. It was tempting to use a divination spell and try to figure out this latest development.

Rei waited for the door not only to close, but watched from a door crack to make sure the stranger was away. "Okay, someone spill it."

"He... was our friend in another timeline. He fought alongside us. He cared for us and tried to die for us." Ami sniffled again. "He disobeyed orders to help us, and the last entry showed that he... I..."

"Apparently this other Ami and him were *good* friends," explained Makoto. "Though apparently he's also lived in other lives where he was close to one or another of us. The last entries were of us taking on an evil god and it sounded like we were getting our butts kicked. Some guy called Ares Saga."

"Waitaminute. 'Ares Saga'?" Rei dived into her manga collection and found the appropriate volume of "Saint Saeya". "Goodness, if we went up against *Ares* we would have had some serious problems."

Ami considered carefully. "Okay. Get him back. I think I know what to ask for."

Greylle was quickly found and brought back. He was relieved that everyone looked so composed now, but a little nervous. Wish granting was not his usual role. He usually got missions as a spear carrier or divine intervention agent. "So you've got a wish?"

Ami nodded. "I wish that those of us who did not normally get boyfriends, or careers, would have both options available to us as well as allies that we can call upon for assistance."

Greylle quickly opened up his computer and tapped the request in. "Okay, it's working. Your wish has been registered."

Makoto looked around. "Uhm, so where is he?"

"i think i mentioned that i'm with the Rival Relief Office, not the Goddess Relief Office (GRO) or the Earth Assistance Hotline (EAH) or the Department of Intervening Operations & Services (DIOS). i'm just a dragon, you know. Well, a dragon who's been around a bit and has a few tricks. i'm also the very rough equivelant of a 12th level cleric, if that means anything to you." Greylle continued typing into his computer. "That means i have to work at granting your wish with available tools and talent while the Barely Adequate Force tries to huff and puff and influence the probability values in a favorable manner."

"Oh. No immediate miracle, eh?" Makoto slumped.

"Yup," agreed Greylle. He brightened visibly on seeing something. "Oh ho!"

"Yes?!" Four girls and a mooncat wanted further explanation.

Greylle looked up with a genuine grin, only a hint of the underlying sadness from earlier showing. "Makoto, you're on first. Tomorrow afternoon. i'll give you a location. You'll see a vicious animal attacking a not-quite-so-helpless victim. There's a few other things i can't tell you yet, but it's very important that you're as nice and friendly as possible..."

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Makoto Kino was very puzzled by this. Both the attack she had witnessed, the sullen girl she had rescued from a dastardly sneak attack, and now Greylle-san was meeting the two of them in a cafe.

Where the heck was her promised boyfriend?!

Greylle waited until the waitress had taken the order before opening. "You know that in any relationship, friends or better, a certain degree of honesty is best?"

Both Makoto and the girl looked shocked.

"Now, Usagi can potentially heal people, remove curses, things like that," Greylle mentioned casually. "She just needs to survive long enough to master skills like that."

Makoto glanced at the girl, then at the dragon. "Uhm, are you sure you should mention things like that..."

"Cure curses?" Excitement began to creep into the girl's voice. "How?"

"Consider it an advanced martial arts manuever, one of those exclusive school things." Greylle had gone over several different ways to approach this situation. "Unfortunately she's being threatened by some pretty nasty types? Ah, my tea."

Makoto twitched in severe discomfort, wanting to not have this conversation in a public place.

The girl pursed her lips briefly, waiting until the waitress had moved away again. "Yakuza?"

"No. Sort of a private army planning on overthrowing the Japanese government. They currently don't have the resources, but they *do* have ears and eyes in odd places." He wasn't lying, he couldn't lie due to being "on duty" as it were. That didn't mean he couldn't try to couch the situation in terms his audience could grasp.

The girl looked into her own cup of tea, frowning in thought. "So. You get my help, then you help me?"

"It's not a bad offer, is it?" Greylle gave a gesture as of balancing weights. "You get a place to stay, a place to practice your martial arts, some really good fights and the chance to save a lot of lives, and eventually i think Usagi will be able to cure you of that curse. It also gets you away from your father for awhile, which will help you in a lot of things, Ranma."

The redhaired girl frowned. "How do you know so much about me? For that matter, why should I care about getting away from Oyaji? He *is* my father, you know."

"Catfist, abandoning friends, swimming the Sea Of Japan, Jusenkyo, the Amazon village. Need i go on?" Greylle considered the sullen sometimes girl. "Let me tell you something else, join up with him again and he'll engage you to some girl who'll repeatedly tell you how much she hates you. You'll be used and sold again and again. Unless you break free, your father will continue to run your life and you *know* what his judgement can be like. Just look at your reflection there if you need a reminder."

Makoto opened her mouth, a dozen questions ready to leap off her tongue.

"Save lives, huh?" Ranma reached out, picked up her glass of tea, and dumped it over her head.

Makoto's mouth was still open, but she was too shocked to ask any of those questions now.

"Makoto can also help you with a few other things. She's really into martial arts herself, but of course nowhere near at your skill level so you can help her there. So you can be her sensei in the martial arts, and she can be your sensei in other things."

"What is there besides martial arts?" Ranma tried to think of what the rest of the other stuff was called. Wasn't martial arts everything important?

"You'd be surprised, Ranma. Look, i'll leave you two alone. It would be best if Ranma stayed at your place for now, Makoto." Greylle held up a hand as Makoto began to protest. "Ranma can be quite the gentleman if he puts his mind to it. Just remember he doesn't know much of anything beyond martial arts and will need some pointers to avoid giving offense where he doesn't mean to give it."

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Greylle whistled happily. He'd stuck around briefly, watching from a distance, and the two were slowly relaxing around each other. Makoto wasn't as confrontational as certain other individuals, therefore Ranma wouldn't get his dander up in response. The two would live together in close proximity, plus have the sensei-teishi relationship.

Makoto's skills would grow by leaps and bounds with Ranma Saotome as her teacher. Ranma's people skills and education could be carefully guided into existence. Makoto's height and martial arts talent, not to mention strength, were major turn-offs to Japanese boys. Ranma could care less about such things. Ranma frankly needed someone to talk to, who could accept his weirdness level without being too judgemental, and help him to grow as a person.

All in all, a definitely viable potential match-up.

He'd *heard* of someone in Divine Intervention getting Akane and Ranma together. Which was silly, if they were a Fated Couple then they didn't need any help. Whereas someone as nice and helpful as Makoto certainly deserved help.

That left Rei, who might or might not get Yuuichiro or whatever his name was. Ami, as far as he knew, had brief crushes on Ryo Urawa and some guy named Mercurious but neither were fated to work out. Minako should be showing up soon. Eventually, Hotaru and possibly Setsuna. Hmmm.

Greylle looked through the Metro Tokyo phonebook briefly. They needed boyfriends and allies, or both. That meant... hmmmm.

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Grandfather Hino stared at the odd device being assembled in the yard of the shrine.

Rei, being the far more worldly Shinto shrine maiden, also stared. "What exactly is that?"

"Mmmmfff?!" Greylle took the socket wrench out of his mouth. An old habit of his he'd tried to break was getting busy with both hands and putting tools or pens in his mouth while he fiddled with the problem at hand. "Right now it's not much of anything. When i'm done it'll be a sort of motorcycle."

"Uh huh," said Rei. "This is a Shinto shrine. We have to ask the spirits for permission."

"Already did. Hikaru said it was fine." Greylle went back to trying to fit the parts together. "Oh, and he wanted to know if you had any more of that special wood you fed into the fire at last New Year's. He really fancied that."

Synchronized blinking from both natives. "Huh?"

"Your sacred flame is sacred because it's the favored access point of a Class Two Fire Spirit named Hikaru. Some kind of guardian warrior type, i didn't press for details and he didn't volunteer." Greylle finally clicked the two pieces together and started tightening them. "By the way, the feng shui is wrong. You need to rotate the angle of the logs with the point towards the door."

"Ah," said Rei, remembering where this boy had said he'd come from.

"You talk to spirits?" Grandfather Hino had remembered something about the boy being some sort of foreign priest but hadn't gotten the details. He was wondering now if it could be important.

"Well yes, it's only polite to say hello to the locals. Sorry if i overstepped myself." Greylle wondered if he had encroached on the fellow's authority. Japanese being Japanese, they probably had some ritual involved he hadn't observed. Until he left this timeline, he might not be able to shift back to his natural form - that of a fifty-two foot long silver dragon but he had some minor talents from being a polymorphed dragon of his breed anyway. One of which was that he had a pretty good chance of communicating with any sentient being. Greylle strongly suspected that was one of the main reasons his base reality had been rewritten to dragon.

Grandfather Hino had been getting weird feelings about this boy since day one, now he thoughtfully placed it. Some form of supernatural being? What kind of benign (having observed carefully for signs of that) supernatural being took human form and moved among humanity to assist it, though the boy was obviously neither divine nor infernal in origin? Kappa? No, he'd spend more time around water. Shikigami? Too human looking. Hengeyokai? Possibly. Badger? No. Kitsune? Also no.

Greylle had already returned his attention to fitting pipes together. "With this, Ami will be able to meet her Great Love."

"Ami's great love is who?"

"No. i considered Who, he is a Doctor after all, but figured he'd be a better match for Setsuna." Greylle started connecting a fuel hose.

"Who?" Rei asked.

"Exactly," agreed Greylle. "It's too bad Bultar Swan isn't here, she'd be able to find you girls boyfriends inside a week."

"Who?" Rei was beginning to get a little irritated.

"No, not him. Bultar Swan, a Jedi knight acquaintance. Cute girl, hobby of matchmaking. Good lightsaber skills. Pity about that rule of Jedi not being allowed to form permanent attachments outside the order." Though having friends was apparently not against the rules. Didn't matter much, Bultar was one of those scheduled to die when Prime Minister Palpatine became the Emperor and sent his Sith to slaughter the Jedi. At which point she'd join the valkyrie. "She sort of compensates by matching up practically every non-Jedi friend and acquaintance she has."

Grandfather Hino looked puzzled, the boy knew some sort of 'knight'? Or did he mean samurai?

"So who would be a good match for Ami?" Rei was moving from irritated to mildly ticked off.

"Yes, he would, but like i said Setsuna would be a better match." Greylle began screwing in the air filtration system.

"WHO is Setsuna?"

"No. Doctor Who. Come to think of it, he's too much into meddling. Setsuna wouldn't like him at all."

"WHO likes to meddle?!" Rei was beginning to twitch now. Grandfather Hino decided wisely to go check the front steps and see if they needed sweeping.

"Yes he does," said Greylle agreeably. "Oh, and Yuuichiro should be coming around shortly."

"WHO is Yuuichiro?" Rei was actually growling now.

"No, WHO is the Doctor. Yuuichiro is your Fated Lover, though you break up with him sometime after the formation of Crystal Tokyo normally. That's your own lookout."

Yuuichiro peered curiously at the odd machine being built, then he glanced up and forgot entirely the strange wheel-less motorcycle as his eyes beheld a raven-haired vision of loveliness.

Greylle glanced up. "Ah, there he is now."

Rei looked around, seeing only some scruffy looking surfer boy. "Where?" (Blink blink.) "You mean Shaggy over there?"

"Nah Shaggy ends up with Daphne, usually. Fred ends up with Velma. Scooby Doo follows Shaggy following the breakup of the gang after the Mystery Machine fails emission testing. Later on, Shaggy gets arrested for making 'funny brownies' a few too many times, and Fred becomes the manager of a grocery store in Los Angeles county. No, that boy who's staring at you and drooling on himself. That's your true love, Yuuichiro." Greylle shrugged. Once he got this fixed, Ami could regularly visit Ryo Urawa even over long distances. Having a precog around to bolster and confirm Rei's visions would help.

Rei looked disgusted. Okay the boy was tall and fairly buff. He also (as a breeze confirmed) hadn't bathed in several days. Maybe he cleaned up really nicely?

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Greylle smiled to himself as the night was young and the war against Queen Beryl had ended. Oddly enough they had not required bringing anyone back from the dead.

Ryouga had joined forces with Ranma after considerable talking and reasoning with both Minako and Makoto. The two weren't up to fighting Hunter/Killer youma, but they were improving their skills every chance they got - especially because they had a clear cut goal to achieve.

Minako wasn't too sure about Ryouga but it looked likely. Makoto was having a good influence on Ranma. Ranma was well fed, training students (Makoto and Minako when Ryouga was out of town), feeling useful, and getting considerably more mellow than in Rumiko Takahashi's manga or even most of the timelines visited by Greylle previously. There were little misunderstandings, like when Ryouga wandered into the Aino bathroom and a little black piglet had nearly died from nosebleed, but things were progressing well there.

Ryo and Ami were getting along fine. The jetbike was capable of speeds in excess of 500mph. Decorated with the Mercury symbol and a minor enchantment, it had some fog generators. It would take a lot longer to add an ice ray, though that was sadly something he didn't have time for.

Rei and Yuuichiro weren't getting along that well, but they hadn't killed each other and that was a hopeful sign. Had things been that conflict-ridden to begin with?

Everything looked in place, and he'd just finished building the other jetbikes. Color coded for the Senshi. Not as fast or as elegant as a Sailor Teleport, but good for getting around Tokyo among other things.

There wasn't much else he could do. He couldn't shift into dragon, and there were only minor talents like the translation effect that carried over to his human form. He was a little stronger and tougher than he looked, but not overtly superhuman in scope. At least not in a Ranma universe. His clerical magic was mainly for healing and protection - and that was stepping into Usagi's territory for the most part. Same with divinations.

It was kind of like being an extra in a movie, except you did get to talk to the real stars on occasion. You tried to stay in the background and not affect anything major - just nudge things a little. At least in the typical Intervention job. This Wish-granting stuff was a bit more frontline - and he was looking forward now to getting back to his usual brooding alone in some non-anime timeline, looping vines where the hero could swing across a chasm to safety and that sort of thing. Then he could get back to his own timeline.

Greylle looked around, not seeing anyone. "Okay. Assignment over, status complete. Gate Open!"

A pillar of light formed in front of the polymorphed dragon. Everything would be fine now and he could get on to the next assignment.

The light faded. "Access Denied. Mission Incomplete."

"Oh." Standing in the dark, figurative and literal, Greylle wondered what he had missed.

"Let me go! I can take her!" "No way!"

Greylle slapped one fist into the other hand's palm. Ranma carrying Makoto away from a fight because Makoto might win it? He could guess who had just made an appearance.

*THWAM!*

The semi-divine operative staggered as a high speed body impacted his own body with the usual translation of kinetic energy. However, the high speed body was also staggered as the boy didn't go down in the expected manner.

"STUPID BOY! WHERE RANMA GO?"

Purple hair, mini-dress, no bra, major attitude. "Oh dear. Shampoo smash. Shampoo crush. Shampoo strongest one there is. Funny, i just realized you talk in Hulkspeak. Hmmm."

Shampoo blinked. "YOU MAKE FUN OF SHAMPOO?! SHAMPOO KILL!"

She was obviously exhausted and not thinking clearly. Even as much as she usually did. Why couldn't the typical Ranma protaganist sit down over a nice cup of tea and calmly work on ways that various honor and personal commitments and grievances could be addressed?

Shampoo found her attack slapped to the side, and a moment later she was in an airplane spin which was abruptly followed by a closeup view of the pavement.

*CRUNCH*

"i don't have time for this Shampoo." Greylle addressed the heap. "Computer, open a channel. Address e-mail. Urd. Am currently faced with several girls who need assistance with their love lives. Thought you might enjoy. sign - Greylle. Send message."

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Ami had this distracted look and smile. Minako had a similar distracted look and was grinning. Makoto looked exhausted and happy. Usagi looked considerably less happy but somewhat content.

Rei grumbled. Why did she end up with a surfer boy who didn't bathe nearly often enough?

Luna cleared her throat. "We should get rid of the hovercycles and other gadgets. They are not Senshi issue equipment. And as for these relationships..."

*THUMP!* *WHUMP!* *WHAP!* *FLUMP!*

Various girls adjusted their seats now that their cushions were piled atop Luna.

Ami cleared her throat. "Uhm. Is that Amazon girl calmed down yet?"

Rei clucked. "I think she's gotten even worse. Was the Chinese Water Torture really necessary?"

Minako adjusted her skirt again. "I wanted to see that Comfy Chair torture he'd threatened to use."

"I still think it sounds hentai," complained Rei.

"That's why I wanted to see it," admitted Minako.

"Ranma wants to know if he can wear something other than a tuxedo, says formal wear to life-and-death combat is just plain silly," volunteered Makoto.

"Ryouga said something very similar," said Minako, nodding. "Though he looked *very* nice in a tux. So did your Ranma."

"Thank you," agreed Makoto. "I noticed."

Ami got a little sparkly eyed as she pictured her boyfriend in a tuxedo, coming to her rescue.

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"You defeat Shampoo," muttered Shampoo.

"Yes. i defeat Shampoo. Slam Shampoo into ground. Shampoo go boom." Greylle shook his head. "Tie Shampoo to tree. Set water torture up. Shampoo stop try to kill Ranma?"

"You make fun of Shampoo?!" Shampoo snarled.

"Yes," said Greylle. "You keep acting like a low grade moron, Shampoo. Stop acting like 'Shampoo the Barbarian' and i won't treat you like some lame 'Red Sonja' clone."

"Shampoo not understand," said Shampoo as she checked her bindings again.

"Oh, and by the way, the Kiss Of Marriage or Kiss Of Death do not apply to me," said Greylle. He'd chosen this patch of woods for a reason.

"You is Outsider Male," said Shampoo, a little surprised that this guy knew of it.

"Yes, but not a human male," said Greylle, and then blurred to assume his real form, having overcome the limitation earlier. He spread his wings and snarled, shooting a quick blast of his frost breath weapon up into the sky. "You see."

"...beautiful..."

Greylle blinked. That hadn't been the reaction he'd hoped for.

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Rei wasn't satisfied.

Ami got a psychic nerdboy, but a fairly cute psychic nerdboy.

Makoto got a really cute, really built, martial artist studmeister. Okay, his mouth seemed to operate independently of his brain frequently and there was also the problem that he turned into a girl on an irregular basis.

Minako got a really cute, really built, stud of her own. If he could lay off the vengeance and show up more often - he'd be a real find.

Usagi had Tuxedo Kamen, aka Mamoru.

What did she get? Yuuichiro. Surferboy klutz.

Ryo, Ranma, Ryouga, Mamoru. All knew about their costumed identities and got involved in their fights. Ryo with pre-battle intelligence gathering. Ranma and Ryouga providing distractions and occasional thrashing of the minions. Mamoru with timely interventions and usually pretty good advice.

What good would Yuuichiro be in a fight, besides the victim of the week?

No, Rei Hino was not even moderately satisfied with this. Okay, maybe Yuuichiro wasn't that bad apart from some little problems like the lack of combat ability. Maybe if Ranma and Ryouga worked at it, they could bring him up to speed in a few years. Maybe she was being too rough on him?

It would have been a lot easier, reflected Rei, if Yuuichiro could manage an Akuryo Taisan or something.

-----------

"GATE OPEN!"

"Access denied."

"Crap! Shimmata! Who the heck is left?!"

"Dragon-san!"

"Knock it off, Shampoo!"

-----------

Greylle sat back. He'd fixed Shampoo up with a normal guy. Sort of. Well maybe not too normal. Not very normal at all really. Downright bizarre.

"How did this happen?" Soun Tendo demanded of the heavens. Softly though, as he didn't want to wake his new wife.

"i went through this, and i'm not too sure myself," admitted Greylle. "i know it involved cheese fondue, post hypnotic dim sum, pressure points, a wedding chapel that specialized in quick ceremonies, and the Xi Fang Gao technique, but i lost track of things about the time that Mousse declared holy vengeance against you and was trampled by those lemmings."

"Is that what those are?" Soun said brightly. "I thought they were just big hamsters. I managed to keep track of events up until the Martial Arts French Culturists showed up."

"Second or third time?" Greylle asked inquisitively, sipping on his tea.

"Third. I think," Soun said after sitting down. He took a cup of tea absently. "Kasumi made this?"

"Uhm, no. i did. Kasumi, Nabiki, and Akane are off at a hotel. Something about the noise last night," helpfully supplied Greylle.

Soun winced. "It isn't my fault."

Greylle smiled. He was tempted to hit the fellow with a table and say something about how he had it coming. Nah, he'd actually helped him out, not that he had intended to.

----------

"Gate Open!"

"Access denied!"

"#$$%**!"

"Two demerits applied to Operative Greylle's file."

Greylle frowned at the gate. "Ami has Ryo. Rei has Yuiichiro. Makoto has Ranma. Minako has Ryoga. Shampoo has Soun. Who the heck is left?"

"...dead scream..."

The blast slammed into him, spinning him head over heels and leaving a nice sized hole where the fortune telling scrolls had been. "What the heck?"

Sailor Pluto stood, gathering her power. Even if you were a Sailor Senshi, immortal dragons weren't a pushover. "...dead scream..."

Greylle was just getting to his feet when the next blast slammed into him, the blocking arm now hanging at an unnatural angle. "Setsuna?!"

"You have tampered with the time stream, the way things are meant to be, the way they must be," said Sailor Pluto. "With your death, I can snip the changes so that they never happened."

"Why?" Greylle struggled back to his feet.

"Geas," said Pluto simply, readying another attack. "dead scream."

Right arm broken in two places, three ribs from the last attack, Greylle struggled to get up. "But Crystal Tokyo is still there..."

"It is not the same Crystal Tokyo," said Sailor Pluto. "It has to be. Everything was fine up until the Black Moon and Chibi-usa. Now the future is locked and anything that does not follow the same pattern must be obliterated. I was tasked to maintain Crystal Tokyo and now if any outcome would be happier - it must be annihilated."

Greylle looked up to see a tear trickling down the cheek of his executioner.

"dead scream. dead scream. dead scream." Sailor Pluto finally finished firing off the shots. "Sometimes I really hate my job but the timeline must be kept pure."

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This was written awhile back in a different form. Why is Setsuna/Pluto so *relieved* on both occasions that she dies? Could it be that there are burdens in her duty implied but not mentioned?

=g
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