Crossover Fan Fiction / Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction / Sonic Series Fan Fiction ❯ The Chaos was Here ❯ Part 3 ( Chapter 3 )

WTF (a.k.a. The Chaos was Here...)

an INSANE Humor/Parody fic by TheFellow3J

 

Disclaimer: I don't own shit.

 

Warning: This fic features all kinds of shit not meant for little punk ass children, like cursing, OOC-ness, cursing, Lesbos, cursing, a slut auction, and Chucky, among MANY other things. If you've EVER seen “Tails Gets Twisted...” well, know that this piece of shit ain't nothing like it...

 

Starring Kirby, Conker the Squirrel and Link

 

Yes, this chapter is DAMN short. Don't care.

 

Part 3

 

It should be known that the rest of Gaia was pretty screwed, considering how many games were located there. For example, the orgy of Shivas at the Macalania Temple... Cosmia: “Kirby, our new location has a temperature of -3 degrees Celsius. This temperature will affect 92% of living organisms.” Conker: “BRRRR! You're telling HIM...” Link cast Din's Fire. Kirby: “Wait... a bunch of cute Shiva girls are getting it on..? The TEMPLE!?” Conker: “Good! Maaayb-b-beee they can get me hot-t-t-t...” They teleported inside the Chamber of the Fucked to see nothing. Link: “The virus strikes again?” ???: “MAX!” Hmmm... ... ... ???: “I SAID... MAX!” So? ???: “DAMMIT! Uh... PARANOIA... MAX!” Cosmia: “Dirty mix. Author hates Standard version.” Hey, wait, how the hell did she know that... Conker: “Damn, we're getting nowhere here.”

 

They were back in oblivion. Conker: “...fuck.” Link: “I advise you, friend, against saying that phrase again.” Kirby: “Man, I need girls...” Cosmia whispered to Kirby. Kirby: “Oh HELL yes...”

 

Cerulean City. Bitches in heat were everywhere. Conker: “This is NOT Saffron... what the hell are all of these cute... adorable... lesbians... doing here...” Cosmia: “Kirby, there is a huge amount of heat in the area. q value is an estimated 700,000 kJ.” That's HOT. Kirby: “DAMN! Ok, let's go to the gym. I must have their hugs, the snobby bitches...” Cosmia notes that Kirby is attracted to snobby bitches. She has knowledge that too many exist already, so she opts against becoming one herself. Chucky (from nowhere): “That BITCH is already a bitch! Ain't no got-durn option to it!” He teleported inside.

All heroes go into the gym. Conker: “Aw, FUCK!” Link: “Wait... this is the home of the Cerulean Sisters, is it not?” ???: “Damn right... and all them bitches gave me head. ROLLING head, that is.” Cosmia's arm shifted into a BIG cannon. Cosmia: “Charging...” Chucky: “Not today bitch! KA...” Conker: “Uh... no. Kirby, meteorite...” Kirby nodded. Chucky got his ass pelted. Link: “I fear for the girls' lives. We must hurry!”

They ran upstairs to find nothing wrong. All the sisters were sitting down talking on phones. Then Rouge crashed through the roof. Daisy: “Like, WHAT THE HELL!?” Violet: “What is going on here?” Conker: “... hey toots... can't get away from me, huh?” Rouge: “OW!! Stupid meteorite...” Kirby: “Those things are everywher... uh...” Link: “Miss, are you unbroken?” Rouge struggled out of the rubble and sat up. Rouge: “Yep!” Conker: “Oh something's REALLY screwing with your voice now...” Kirby: “I thought only one girl was talking. Why did I hear Rockna, Rika and a cranky Misty?” Cosmia: “The entity known as Rouge has suffered a change of voice by the source of the chaos. The original voice was changed, and another made its way into her.” Kirby: “Oh.” Link: “This does not explain the fourth sister's voice.” Misty was nowhere in the gym. Conker: “...fucked up. All I gotta say.” Kirby: “Well, tell `ya what. I need to start my pimping service here by capturing twenty pretty girls and throwing them all into a pit of vicious tentacles somewhere in Dreamland. Later. C'mon Cosmia!” They left.

Rouge: “HEY!” Conker: “Perked up, didn't you? C'mon, kiss me again. I command you to.” Rouge: “What!? No one controls Rouge the Bat.” She kissed him AGAIN. She doesn't learn... Lily: “Um, guys, like, where all the raging lesbians outside go?” They all looked outside to see pink flowers growing on top of everything. Conker: “Don't know, but a bunch of Kasinian Blossoms just carpeted the city.” Yeah... close enough... Link: “There is something gravely wrong here.” Violet: “Yeah... how can the squirrel talk if he's being kissed...” The TEXT never said WHERE. Stupid. Read and learn, dumb... in fact... Violet faded out, along with her sisters. Conker: “What? Where they go?” They are now the official property of Brock Slate. His libido: insatiable. Their's: Equivalent to Brock's at all times. Now then...

 

File City. Nah...

 

The Metropolis of Kerwan. Kirby: “300! I'm in the money now! I even got that cute green pigtail girl!” Link: “Which one? Duplica, or Sakura?” Kirby: “Uh...” Yup. You guessed it. Tons of girls, all named Sakura, started falling from the sky. It IS raining cherries. Conker: “So, according to the text, sakura means cherry?” Cosmia: “There is a 97% probability that the text is wrong.” Nothing happens to her. Hey, 3%... Link: “The author's number. Smart guess...” Soon, the millions... Kirby: “and MILLIONS!” ...of Sakura clones (all naked as usual) piled all the way up to damn near the group's level. They wouldn't stop. Conker: “Hey, try getting all of them.” Kirby: “Done...” Kirby's star flew up, then it shined a bright light, then all the girls were gone. Except Cosmia and Rouge. Rouge: “I'm STILL here?! I thought I said I didn't WANT an adventure!” You're gettin' one sister. Kirby: “Y'know, I could go for a game of duel monsters right now.” Hmmm. Well then...

 

Right. Duel Monsters. Keep reading.