Crossover Fan Fiction / Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction / Sonic Series Fan Fiction ❯ The Chaos was Here ❯ Part 8 ( Chapter 8 )

WTF (a.k.a. The Chaos was Here...)

an INSANE Humor/Parody fic by TheFellow3J

 

Disclaimer: I don't own shit.

 

Warning: This fic features all kinds of shit not meant for little punk ass children, like cursing, OOC-ness, cursing, Lesbos, cursing, a slut auction, and Chucky, among MANY other things. If you've EVER seen “Tails Gets Twisted...” well, know that this piece of shit ain't nothing like it...

 

Starring Kirby, Conker the Squirrel and Link

 

Part 8

 

Hmmm... where should they go next...? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

 

Aqualis. ???: “WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT!?” Kirby launched the BIGGEST rock you have ever seen at ???. Conker: “What happened to `the Random Guy?” Fuck it... The pebble hit ??? in the back. Of the head. Link: “Something is obviously amiss with the grammar.” No shit Link. Know what... fuck Aqualis. Fuck: “Wow... so watery...”

 

The hell? ???: “What happened to THE FUCK!?” Didn't need her here right now.

 

Kirby: “Hmmm. Two Misty bitches for the taking.” Cerulean City? Fuck no! ...Conker: “Damn. Too late. Fuck went and gave the Mistys to Ash.” Kirby: “Ash is not happy... he already has to deal with one...” ???: “TOUGH SHIT ASSHOLE!” Someone else: “I say DITCH THE BITCH!” Someone else: “MAY GIVES BETTER HEAD!” Conker: “What the fuck? Where these guys come from?” Kirby: “Who gives a shit? Glad they told me. I'm gonna make a killing once I find that sweet air-headed May...” The bitch walked around the corner and didn't have a CLUE. May: “La...”

Now... what do think happened? Venus flytrap? Meteor from space? How about May getting kissed by... Conker: “OK, that's sick.” Kirby: “...a nasty girl... oh yeah...” Kirby called Washu. Kirby: “Hey, you do clones?” Washu: “Of what? Don't ask me to clone ditzy girls either.” Kirby: “Fuck.” Fuck: “Yes?” Kirby: “Go find me a cloning machine somewhere.” Fuck: “What? Ohhhh, ok...” She went searching. Link: “So you actually called for her.” Kirby: “She's really convenient.” ...oh, and then slugs rolled up on her. Kirby was paralyzed by the freakiness of it all. Conker was filming the whole thing. Conker: “This is gonna sell like hotcakes on the net next month... `May's Surreal Sexventures', only $500 SP. That should be enough.” ...what?

Oh, right. The race. Eggman was in this race. Somewhere private... no, fuck that. Somewhere public... Eggman: “I will find the young girl and then the Aniverse will be mine!” Kirby: “Wow, Fourside. Where's my boy at?” Ness appeared right in front of the trio. Ness: “Hey Kirby. Fucked up, isn't it?” Kirby: “If Eggman thinks I'm going to let him take over before we find the source of the chaos, he's as dumb as that bitch.” Conker: “Which one?” Kirby: “Pick one!”

Fuck that. Let's go back to the dear Meiling. So she landed on jagged rocks. Right next to a military base. Meiling was hurt like a bitch. Conker: “Good choice.” ...what? Anyway... Meiling: “Ow... dammit, why is it so fucking hard!? I keep getting my ass beaten everywhere I go!” Link: “There is a strong sense of favoritism amidst.” Damn straight. Meiling: “WHAT!? OK, THAT DOES IT! I'M TIRED OF BEING THE ASS IN EVERYTHING!!! I'LL TEACH FATE A LESSON!” Fayt: “Then come and get it beautiful!” Fayt charged up to a rather pissed off Meiling. Suddenly, she grew wings of fire and bust out a flaming beam saber. Conker: “WHOA! Where the fuck she learned how to do something like that!?” Kirby: “It's in another story. One of the trials.” Don't worry, you don't know what that means. In due time. Let's just say that Meiling has magic powers. Meiling: “TAKE THIS FAYT!” Meiling turned into pure fire and flew straight into Fayt, who damn near burnt to a crisp. Kirby: “Wow. Intense.” Link: “The poor fellow.” Sophia came out of nowhere and started to cast Healing. Fuck that, because Meiling cast Inferno. Conker: “That would be the Inferno that calls out the Fire Dragon. You know, the one made of fire.” Kirby: “Gotta love Grandia Xtreme!” Sophia got KOed. Link: “Amazing. She is among those with high defense to magic attacks.” Meiling proceeded to evaporate an entire lake. She just wouldn't calm down. 1000 monsters came out of... DAMN! She fried all of them before... DAMN! A forest got set on fire! (Can't even finish the sent...) ...DAMN! Conker: “Now what?” We gotta go to Sakura.

 

Sakura was trapped. On her left, monsters. On her right, U-TIC... and Ants. Of course, there's about 500 tanks waiting to fire something at her face in front of her. Sakura: “This is bad... FLY!” Sakura got angel wings and took off. The enemies started blasting. Sakura: “SWORD!” ???: “HELL NAH! Guns and beams vs. a flying girl with a sword!? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!?” Link: “Perhaps the better question is why there are many enemies after the Cardmistress.” Kirby: “I won't tolerate this! Let's take `em!” Kirby put on a Suplex cap and took on the infantries. Link went for the monsters. Conker: “I got something for those tanks...” Conker jumped in his just-materialized ship and took to the air. The tanks actually held their own against the Dark Streak. Conker: “Ok, Washu should've put something in here...” What the... well, screw that, Super Sonic came out of nowhere and plowed through the 500 tanks. Conker: “Why's he here?” Can you say Space-Time Wormhole? Kirby: “FUCK!” Fuck: “What is it Kirby?” Kirby: “WE'VE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE, NOW!!!” The trio got into the Dark Streak and picked up the girls. Then they teleported.

 

Robotropolis. Meiling was hell-bent on finding Tomoyo first now. Eggman picked her approach up on a monitor. Eggman: “What is this? Blast, it's that fiery girl with the attitude! ALL FORCES, DESTROY HER AT ONCE!” Meiling found the welcome to be enraging. Kirby: “That's the last thing you want to do to her. Trust me.” Meiling: “GRRR...” Meiling charged up a huge ball of fire and aimed it straight down. Tails (from Knothole): “What the... someone's sending fire into Eggman's biggest oil refinery! Hold on to your hats!” Of course, a two-mile radius explosion resulted. Eggman hurried and escaped before he got trapped in his now burning command center. Meiling: “Where IS SHE!?” Meiling jet into the horizon. Conker: “That was quick.” Link: “Let us follow her.” They dropped off Sakura and left.

Sakura... eventually found out that Tomoyo just wasn't there either. So she stopped time and flew over to Gaia. ??? “THROUGH SPACE!?” In due time... that's all I'll say.

 

Tomoyo sat quietly in her confinement area: a huge room, about 15 sq ft big. Tomoyo: “I hope I can get rescued soon. It's cold in here.” Tomoyo pulled her legs up and hugged them close. Then she fell asleep.

 

Conker was flying the ship when suddenly Sakura, Meiling and Tomoyo all showed up in the ship. Link: “Hmmm. This is most misunderstood.” Fine, then I'll explain. Kirby never said that Tomoyo couldn't hug herself first. ???: “WHAT!? THAT'S BULLSHIT!” Kirby: “It's true, though.” Conker: “So now they're in deep with each other. Hey, with Tomoyo making the wish, that's the only thing that could happen. Probably something about wanting to be together or some shit.” So, take my lines, will you? Kirby: “Let's go drop these freaks off at my place before they start raising the temperature.” That went up by 1500 degrees instantly. Then it went to 0. It got COLD... Sakura and Tomoyo immediately hugged Meiling. Then they did other stuff. Conker: “Ain't this an NC-17?” No. Conker: “Fuck. Go change the rating.” Fuck: “Um... I can't do that. The author won't let me.” Kirby: “FUCK!” Fuck: “Kirby! I'm right here!” Kirby: “THOSE BASTARDS!”

 

Oh shit... they... the bastards... REALLY pissed off Kirby this time... (no, not the people in the ship! Just read the next chapter!)