Crossover Fan Fiction ❯ Anime Chaos! Talk Show from Hell! ❯ Yu Yu Hakusho ( Chapter 4 )

Anime Chaos! The Talk Show from Hell!

Disclaimer: All anime characters go to their rightful and respectful owners, so don't sue me PLEASE! Oh and thanks to everyone who reviewed! I feel all fuzzy and purple on the inside! Oh and a very special thanks to Fox Ears, Ale-Bloody-Roses, C M Forde and Shinjii12 for all the help and funny conversations, or amusing reviews. Merci Beacoup ....Damn French teacher.

Before the actual show In our brand new location!

Joe: Well since I haven't been able to track down one of the host's the 'other one' will have to fill in.

E-Chan: *smashes a boulder into his head* And what's with 'The other one' crap!?

Hippy: Aren't you going to tell them where we are??

ET: *Waves hands around frantically* I'll tell them I'll tell them!! Kimchi blew up our last show location sooooooo we have stolen ....UM borrowed a new one! Oh yea! And for those of you who love Leprechauns! Shamus went to body guard the president! But Since we've got a new place NO PHYSCO FAN GIRLS OR ANIME JUNKIES CAN GET IN!!!! MUWAHAHAHAHA! *puts pinkie to her mouth in that oh so copyrightable Dr. Evil pose*

Skitzo: *British accent* YEA BABY! Our new pad.. heeh heeh that don't sound right! Our new location to broadcast from is none other than Dr. Evil's 'Secret Lair' *does quotation mark hand motion with fingers (copyrightable Dr. Evil hand motion)*

*Big gigantic room full of metal objects, and SWIVEL CHAIRS, (nooo I'm not obsessed! They just happen to use SWIVEL CHAIRS in this movie.) Everyone is seated around very large desk/table in their very own SWIVEL CHAIR! And above the table is a large video screen. Also a large metal trap door is in the center of the stage (you may not know what this yet but Austin Powers fan's might know!)*

E-Chan: So where did Kimchi go anyway?

Joe: What the hell do I look like? Her keeper?

Everyone: Yes!

Joe: Oh.... well, then I'll just go find her! *walks through wall, a loud scream is heard*

Voice: NNNNNNOOOOOOO!!!!! BACK TO WORK!!!!!!!

Hippy: WAIT! E-Chan, didn't you have some good news for everybody?

E-Chan: OH YEA! FEAR NOT VIEWERS! OUR BELOVED REPAIR MAN IS BACK!

Steve: Hey! I read the other chapters… I was not MOLESTED by some lowly scum.

Everyone: You weren't? HEY! WHY ARE WE SPEAKING IN UNISON!?

ET: The important thing is now we can break things!!!!! *smashes window*

Steve: AAAAAHHHHHHRRRRRGGGGG NNNNNNOOOOOO!!!!!

Skitzo: Oh yea. And our guests for today's show are non other than two Yu Yu Hakusho characters!!!!! ::drools::

E-Chan: *does happy dance* I got to vote this time!!!!!

ET: Yay! The baby!!

*yet another loud crash is heard as some lighting equipment comes smashing down*

Kimchi staggering around: I'm hear! I am not late!

Everyone: Yes you are.... *turn to each other* STOP IT!

Joe: *walking back through the hole he already made* What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you drunk or something?

ET: BEER! WHERE! *looks around*

Skitzo: Me! Me! Give it all to me!!!!

Kimchi: I am not drunk! I just sorta.... *mumbles* failed an eye examination thingamajig in school.

Everyone: O.O;

Hippy: Awww does widdle Kimchi need big thick glasses like when she was a kid?

Joe: *cracks up* WHAHAHA! The baka's so dumb she failed an eye exam!

Kimchi: NOT FUNNY! *tries to stand but trips over the air*

Skitzo: I HAVE AN IDEA! *runs off through hole in the wall*

Steve: I really gotta fix that.... DAMMIT!

E-Chan and ET are walking around tripping Kimchi: This is FUN!

*Hippy has already left to go prepare for her pranks*

Skitzo: *comes crashes through the wall in a different spot* Whoops missed! Anyway! Kimchi I gotta present for you!

Steve: GOD DAMMIT MY FIRST FUCKING DAY BACK AND LOOK HOW YOU GUY'S TREAT ME!!!!!!

Kimchi: *laying on the floor from being tripped so much* Really? It doesn't involve feet does it?

*E-Chan and ET snicker (ET: snickers!? WHERE!?)*

Skitzo: Nooooo but it has feet! You know how people have seeing eye dogs 'cause they're blind?

*Hippy appears on big screen over all the swivel chairs (The one Dr. Evil makes his threatening world domination/destruction broadcasts on)*

Hippy: DID YOU GET HER A SEEING EYE COW?

Skitzo: Noooooo I got her a seeing eye demon! *hands Kimchi a leash*

Kimchi: IS IT HIEI!?!?

ET: AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! MUTANT RATS ARE TAKING OVER THE WORLD!!!!! *runs in circles*

E-Chan: AWWW! It's Kiara from Inu-Yasha! How'd you get her Skitzo!?

Kimchi: REALLY!? cool, wait... won't Sango need her?

Skitso: Relax! The IY crew was taking a vacation and well, Sango was ummm pretty busy with Miroku to mind.

Everyone: O.O; WHAT!? GOD DAMMIT WHY DO WE KEEP SAYING THE SAME FUCKING THINGS!!!!!?????

E-Chan: AAHHHHHHH!!!! NNNNNOOOOO!!!! YOU PROMISED NO MORE MONKS! NOT THE PERVERTED SCARY MONKS!!!!!!!!!! .... Well, at least he isn't after me!

*Kimchi throws swivel chair at E-Chan*

Kimchi: Just shut the hell up and let's start the show already!

ET: *Breaks into song every time 2 certain words are said* SHUT UP! DON'T WANNA HEAR YOUR VOICE SHUT UP! *Horribly off note screechy voice*

Joe: Is she still doing that!?

E-Chan: Yupp every time someone say's the SU word.

*Fog horn bellows*

Hippy: *AHEM* Now I'm glad I bought this. Heehee OK! Our two characters are
*drum roll* HIEI AND TEENAGE KOENMA!!!!! .... Who are these people??

Skitzo: KOENMA!!!!!! AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! WHERE IS HE??? WHERE!? HE'S MINE!!!!! ALL MINE!!!!!!!!!!

ET: YAY! The baby won! Baby babybabybabybaby!!!!!! YAY!

E-Chan: *glares at ET* HEY! Hiei won too! MY BELOVED HIEI!!!!!!

Kimchi: *grasping Kiara's leash for dear life* HOORAY FOR HIEI THE SEXY FIRE YOUKAI!!!!!!!!

*Much louder fog horn bellows*

Hippy: *standing arms crossed looking pissed* Now MY time! Not your time MY time. Now then... *Big flash of Bright Physcodelic colored Hippie lights. Hippy appears in cow print khaki shirt, vest, shorts, and boots*

Hippy: *Australian accent* Criky! I'm Here at the lair of the... *standing outside Hiei's room as she picks a note card form one of the many many pockets on her vest* Fire youkai?? What the COW is a fire youkai?

Joe: It means fire demon you retard.

Everyone: GASP! Joe didn't say BAKA!

Joe: LEAVE ME ALONE! *hisses*

ET: Hippy! Go talk to this Sheila! (Aussie accent)

Hippy: Don't make me whip out my fog horn! And what do you mean by DEMON?!?

E-Chan and Kimchi: Hiei's a hottie who when really pissed off takes off his shirt and transforms into a demon…. And he can also control fire. *drool*

ET: He's a striper demon?

Kimchi and E-Chan: NOOOOO! *both pelt her with rubber bands*

ET: AAAAAHHHHH!!!!! OOOOOWWWWW!!!!! SORRY!

Hippy: Right so he can control fire, he can turn into a demon, is there anything else you guys would like to share?!

E-Chan and Kimchi: HE HAS A SWORD!!!!! *both drool*

Skitso: Do you have life insurance?

ET: Owwwwwwwwwwwww! *hides under table*

Hippy: Criky! I'm gonna need it! Time out! *runs back to set instead of venturing forth into fire youkai territory*

Kimchi: You must find a way to counter or get rid of Hiei's sword, if not you shall surely perish!

E-Chan: Your mission should you except it, is to rendezvous with ET she will give you what you need!

Skitso: Your entrusting something like that to ET!? And what's with the James Bond tone?

Hippy: *gulp* I'm as good as dead.... Criky! why do I suddenly feel the need to say that?! *walks off to storage closet backstage, at the end of the hall, down a secret staircase, down another hallway, down a hidden water slide, up a chimney.... (Hippy: While I'm young!)... Ok fine! And then she came to the secret storage room*

ET: *dressed in black wizards cloak with a scarf and hat covering her face so only her eyes are seen, with a ball as a hump on her back* Welcome! MUWAHAHAHA! To the secret storage closet of 'Quasi'-doom! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

Hippy: Cut the cow! AH! That didn't sound right! Cut the crap and just give me something to get rid of this Hiei guy's sword!

ET: MuwahaHA! Use this wisely! *hands Hippy a glass jar with a label on it, Then slams the door shut* That was my dramatic exit!

Hippy: WHAT THE COW!? "Magical Macaroni Glue" !? HOW THE MOO WILL THIS HELP!?!? *pounds on door* ET!! OPEN UP! YOU MOOING IDIOT! Oh well I guess this is better than nothing.

*Back outside Hiei's room*

Hippy: Criky! I'm back again and I have a plan! Which I have already set into action! Isn't he a beaut? That was scary....

*inside the room we see Hiei jumping up and down in desperation. Hung (heehee) from the ceiling above him is a bowl with a sign that says "Sweet Snow", his sword was left in it's scabbard on the floor*

Hiei: DAMMIT! How... did.. that.. get... up.. there!? *said between jumps*

Hippy: *gulp* Here I go.... If I don't make it back Kimchi I swear I will always haunt you!... Cirky! *Hippy crawls in through the door unnoticed and snatches the sword*

Hippy: Criky! I hope this works! *She whips out the Magical Macaroni Glue and shoves it in the scabbard, orange gloopy crap sticks all over it*

ET: Now haul ass outta there!

Hippy whines: But I didn't even pull a prank! *notes Hiei glaring at her* ummm Criky! If you say so! *runs out of the room*

Hiei: *blankly staring* What the hell was that? *glances at his sword* AHHH! I will have my revenge!

Show Time! At The 'Secret Lair'

*The talk show crew is seated in the swivel chairs surrounding the big iron table*

*Theme Song starts ET singing T.T; again…*

ET: WATCH NOW! IT AIN'T POLITE IT'S MESSED UP! WE'RE NEVER EVER RIGHT! THERE'S NOTHING WE SAY THAT MEANS A DAMN THING! ANIME CHAOS! *tune of Shut Up*

*Everyone takes off earmuffs*

Kimchi: Konnichi Wa! *still gripping (heehee) Kiara's leash*

E-Chan: And welcome to another episode of Anime Chaos! The Talk Show From Hell!

Skitso: YAY! I get to bring in the guests!!!! *runs backstage giggling madly*

ET: IS THE BABY HERE YET?!

Kimchi: Well, viewers Koenma will be here shortly but until then HIEI WILL BE HERE! *drools*

Skitso comes running from backstage: AAAAAAIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO YOUR FUCKIN' SWORD!!!!!!!

Hiei: Feh, killing you would be a waste of energy. Now where is the damn nigen who did this! *He holds up the sword still stuck in it's scabbard by the Magical Macaroni Glue*

*Everyone points to Hippy, except Kimchi who is pointing at E-Chan. Kiara growls and moves Kimchi's hand so it's facing Hippy*

E-Chan: Wow Kiara is useful!

Hiei: *Death glares Hippy*

*ET pours MMG (Magical Macaroni Glue) on a swivel chair, then shoves Hiei into it*

ET: MUWAHAHAHA! I told you it would work! But did you believe me nnnnnoOO!!!!!

Hiei: What the!? Get this thing offa me! Damn humans! You will all die.

Hippy: Peace out dude. *peace sign* All you gotta do is answer a couple of questions and then we'll get you off the chair and we'll get the MMG outta your Scabbard. Criky! Why am I still talking like this!?

Hiei: Will I get Sweet Snow?

Kimchi: As much as you want!

E-Chan: ET! Get out in the audience your on! *gazes dreamily at Hiei*

ET: There is no audience silly! This is a 'secret lair' *quotation hand motion* I have less work to do! *pulls out BIG remote and clicks it at the video screen*

Random Person #1: *appears on screen* Hiei! Your the coolest! How do you get that black dragon tattoo on your arm to come to life?

Hiei: Feh why should I tell a stupid baka like you?

*Kimchi holds up sign that says "Sweet Snow!"*

Hiei: My demonic power. Can I go now?

ET: We need more questions! *clicks remote again*

Dr. Evil: What are you doing in my 'Secret Lair'? *hand motions* It will cost you... *close up of him doing the pinkie thing* One Billion Dollars! Muwahaha Muwhahahaha!

-----CLICK-----

ET: Sorry! Wrong channel!

*Everyone sweat drops then face vaults, with the exception of Hiei who is MMG stuck to his swivel chair*

Random Person #2: How come you're so short?

Hiei: *growls* What was that?

RP2: You heard me! And there ain't nothin you can do! Nya! *sticks out tongue pulls down near his eye* (why do people always do this in anime??)

Hiei: I'll find out where you live!

RP2: *gulp*

-----CLICK-----

E-Chan: *holding remote* There will be no dissing my favorite character!

Skitso: *wails* HURRY UP! I WANNA SEE KOENMA!!!!!!! *whimper whimper*

Hiei: Uhg the toddler is here?

ET: Not the toddler the 'Baby' *hand motion* Get it right dude!

Kimchi: Can we stop it with the fucking hand motions!? They're freaking me out!

Skitso: Freakadelic! That's my new word! And my sweet Koenma is not a toddler!!

Kimchi: Thank you for sharing... T.T

*ET takes remote from E-Chan*

ET: Now this is MY time so butt out dammit!

E-Chan: *makes a fist* What was that oh dearest friend??

ET: *gulp* never mind! *clicks remote*

Hiei: You are very strange indeed.

E-Chan: WHY THANK YOU! *glomps* I LOVE HIEI!

Skitso: Stop molesting the guests!

Hiei: Get off of me or prepare to feel my sword!

*Kiara bites E-Chan pulling her off Hiei and drags her back to her own seat*

Kimchi: Kiara is useful! *strokes Kiara the way Dr. Evil pets Mr. Bigelsworth*

E-Chan: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Random Person #3: What do you think of your little sisters relationship with Kuwabara?

Hiei: THERE IS NO RELATIONSHIP! *growls*

Kimchi: *cough*denile*cough*

ET: Ok last question then we have to get the 'baby' *hand motion* baby!

Kimchi: I THOUGHT I ALREADY WENT OVER THIS ANNOYANCE!?

*Remote clicks*

Random Person #4: How come you talk so much? I mean that's the reason you lost to Yusuke!

Hiei: I like to brag, and I can beat that weakling any time I feel like it.

Kimchi and E-Chan: GO HIEI! KICK HIS ASS NEXT TIME!

ET: OK ok one more question I like this one! *clicks remote*

Random Person #5: Have you ever been constipated?

Everyone: O.O

ET: HAHAHA!! See? Ain't it funny?

Hiei: actually at this moment...

Everyone: O.O; *face vaults*

Kimchi: Ok that's it for the questions with Hiei.. *still shaken over last question*

Skitso: KOENMA TIME!!!!!!!!!! *does back hand spring* Damn that hurt!

E-Chan: *sniffle* Bye bye Hiei dearest!

Hiei: Get this damned stuff off me and let me leave!

Hippy: ET, How do you make the MMG come off?

ET: *Valley girl voice* DUH! It's like so totally obvious! You like eat it! *flips hair*

Kimchi: Don't do that again! Kiara go. *Kiara hops down and eats the MMG off Hiei's chair*

Hiei: Thank God I can leave this Hell.

ET: Awwwwww man! I wanted to eat it! Oh well! *pulls out bucket of MMG and a spork*

*Maniac laughing is heard, like Kodachi's (Ranma