Crossover With Non-anime Series Fan Fiction ❯ Pirates of the Caribbean: Hot Bat's Chest ❯ An Inconvenient Spot ( Chapter 13 )

Chapter Thirteen: An Inconvenient Spot

 

[The scene cuts to the Black Pearl. Rouge is sitting on some steps. Knuckles staggers over with some rum.]

 

Knuckles: Judging by your melodramatic sighs, I get the feeling that something is bothering you. Now, is it something I can fix with my body?

 

Rouge: I just thought that…you know…that I'd be married by now. I'm ready to be married.

 

Knuckles: The way you're saying “married” seems to imply “fucked”. And being the owner of a very big ship, if you get my drift, I could perform a “marriage”, right here, on the deck, with the whole crew watching.

 

Rouge: (disgusted) I'll pass.

 

Knuckles: But why? We're really alike! I mean, you've got huge tits, and I've got a huge wang. You've got a nice ass, and I've got a friend who'd like to meet it.

 

Rouge: Well, aside from those striking similarities, we're nothing alike. I've got a sense of honor, and decency, and morals, and -

 

Knuckles: And a giant well formed rack.

 

Rouge: Yes, that too. A rack which you are getting no part of.

 

Knuckles: Please. Soon, you will have no choice but to succumb to the power of Anduril, Flame of the West!

 

Rouge: Do you know how sad it is for a grown man to nickname his penis?

 

Knuckles: Not as sad a well grown woman denying her desire to scronk with the master.

 

Rouge: Really? Give me a call when a master shows up.

 

Knuckles: He's…he's right here. He's me! I am Scronkulus, Master of Scronkage!

 

Rouge: Why doesn't your compass work?

 

Knuckles: It…it…it works fine. Just like my -

 

Rouge: Don't want to hear it.

 

Knuckles: (pause) Wang.

 

Rouge: You are beyond hopeless. But, I do believe that the time will come when you have a chance to prove yourself -

 

Knuckles: Just get naked, and I'll prove myself all over you.

 

Rouge: Prove yourself to be a good man.

 

[The two get really close to each other. They appear to be seconds away from locking lips.]

 

Knuckles: I am a good man. Echidna.

 

Rouge: You're a scoundrel.

 

Knuckles: And you like scoundrels.

 

Rouge: You want to know what it tastes like.

 

Knuckles: God, do I want to know what it tastes like…

 

[There is maybe, like, a billionth of an inch between Rouge and Knuckles' lips. Knuckles puts his hand around Rouge, only to see the black spot boil to the surface of his hand. He recoils in terror. Rouge backs out of the quasi hug-kiss.]

 

Rouge: It's nice to know that you're good enough to not take advantage of my vulnerability. Because if you had, you totally could've had sex with me.

 

[Rouge wanders off as Knuckles stares after her. Boris runs up to Knuckles.]

 

Boris: Comrade Captain, we have sighted land! Uhh…Comrade Captain, why are…why are you smashing your head into the railing?

 

Knuckles: (bashing head into the railing) I WANT TO DIE! Find my jar of dirt! I'm going to suffocate myself in it!