Crossover With Non-anime Series Fan Fiction ❯ Pirates of the Caribbean: Hot Bat's Chest ❯ Saber Threesome ( Chapter 15 )

Chapter Fifteen: Saber Threesome

 

[The camera cuts to Sonic, who is standing on a dune near Rouge, Tails, and Knuckles.]

 

Rouge: Oh my God! Sonic! You're alright!

 

[Rouge runs up to Sonic and kisses him.]

 

Knuckles: Uhh…how…how did you get…here?

 

Sonic: Sea turtles. I strapped them to my feet. I walked across the ocean.

 

Knuckles: That has got to be the stupidest idea I have ever heard of in my life…

 

Sonic: Well, you said it first. However, I do owe you some thanks.

 

Knuckles: Uhh…you…you do?

 

Sonic: Well, after you sold me to Big the Cat to settle your debt…

 

Rouge: (turns to Knuckles) You did WHAT?!

 

Knuckles: I did what now?

 

Sonic: As I was saying, after you sold me to Big, I was reunited with my father!

 

Knuckles: Ah! See! That was my plan all along! I was going to pretend to sell you into Big the Cat's service so that you could be…uhh…reunited with your father. And then escape. With…stuff. And things.

 

Rouge: You…you lied to me! Everything you said was a lie! You fucking son of a bitch!

 

Knuckles: Well, bitch isn't exactly the proper term for a female echidna…

 

Rouge: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!

 

Knuckles: Err, yes.

 

[Sonic runs over to the chest and pops the key in.]

 

Knuckles: Whoa! What're you doing?

 

Sonic: I'm going to kill Big.

 

[Knuckles draws his sword {Author's Note: The metal one, pervs} and points it at Sonic's face.]

 

Knuckles: I'm sorry, but I just can't let you do that. As bad as those fishing levels were, I need Big alive to call off the Kraken (ominous drum beat) so that I…for fuck's sake, I am getting sick of that fucking drum.

 

Sonic: It is kinda irritating, isn't it?

 

Knuckles: No matter. Hand me the key.

 

[Sonic grabs the sword in Rouge's belt and points it towards Knuckles.]

 

Sonic: Never! I promised to free my father from the starfish that's humping his face, and I keep my promises!

 

Rouge: Starfish humping his face?

 

[Tails pulls his sword out and points it at Sonic.]

 

Tails: And I'm afraid I can't let you do that either!

 

Knuckles: Thank you Tails.

 

[Tails turns and points his sword at Knuckles.]

 

Tails: Oh, shut up you over-inflated windbag. Nobody finds you funny anymore.

 

Knuckles: How dare you!

 

Rouge: Wait…it was humping his face? A starfish? Are they even physically capable of humping?

 

Tails: Hey! Whore! Shut up for a minute!

 

Rouge: Me?

 

Tails: No, the other girl on this beach who looks like a freaking prostitute!

 

Knuckles: So, Sonic then?

 

Sonic: Oh, ha ha, dipshit.

 

Tails: If the idiocy can be put on hold for a few seconds, I will take this chest to Lord Shadow the Hedgehog and get my career and my life back.

 

Knuckles: Ah! Now it all makes sense! The desire to join my crew…the pig shit.

 

Tails: Oh, fuck you and your pig shit!

 

Sonic: There was pig shit?

 

Tails: There was, and now that you're here, it's back again.

 

Sonic: Not cool.

 

Rouge: Okay, how abou-

 

Tails: How about you shut up?

 

Sonic: Nobody speaks to her that way!

 

[Sonic swings his sword at Tails, and the grand swordfight begins. However, all of the combat is nearly impossible to describe.]

 

Rouge: Come on! Be sensible! No, don't run off across the sand dunes! I'm not chasing after you guys…oh, for the love of God.

 

[Rouge sprints after Tails, Knuckles, and Sonic who are engaged in a fierce swordfight as they run off across the dunes.]

 

Rouge: For crying out loud! Stop it! This is totally childish! If you wanted to have some macho man standoff, we could have brought some rulers! No…stop trying to stab each other! STOP IT ALREADY!

 

[As Rouge turns red in the face from screaming at the combative trio, Megabyte and Cervantes run towards them and then suddenly halt.]

 

Megabyte: What is going on here?

 

Cervantes: Arr, arr arr arr arr arr? Arr arr arr arr arr arr arr arr. Arr, arr arr arr arr arr arr arr. Arr arr, arr arr arr arr. Arr!

 

Megabyte: Well, that makes a hell of a lot of sense.

 

Cervantes: Arr arr.

 

Megabyte: Steal the chest? Hmm…it probably is worth something.

 

[Megabyte and Cervantes head towards the chest, running behind Rouge, who's still cursing at the fighters.]

 

Rouge: Enough! This has gone on long enough! I'll…I'll have sex with all of you! At the same time, if you like! Just stop fighting!

 

[The fighting continues, and Rouge curses under her breath. She turns just in time to see Megabyte and Cervantes running off with the chest. Rouge runs off after them, leaving the swordfight on the beach to continue. And continue it does, ad nauseum. They fight on the beach, they fight in the water, they head back to the beach, they keep fighting as they rush up the island, and they completely ignore the crew of the Flying Person-of-Dutch-Extraction emerging out of the water a couple dozen feet away.]