Crossover With Non-anime Series Fan Fiction ❯ Pirates of the Caribbean: Hot Bat's Chest ❯ Thump-Thump ( Chapter 16 )

Chapter Sixteen: Thump-Thump

 

[The scene cuts from the beach to like, three miles inland, and somehow, the fighting swordsmen made it this far in about, two seconds. The three start fighting on a ruined church (which for reasons unknown, has a waterwheel attached) and after Knuckles acts like an ass for the audiences' amusement, his sword his knocked away.]

 

Tails: If you would pardon me for a second, Mr. Sonic, I would like to kill the echidna that ruined my life.

 

Sonic: Go for it.

 

Knuckles: Whoa! Let's not be hasty! Let's take a moment to analyze that claim you just made. You wish to kill the echidna that ruined your life, now, may I suggest, that I am not that echidna? In fact, I would posit that the perpetrator of such a crime is in fact, not an echidna, but a hedgehog. A different class of animal altogether, what has ruined your life, Miles. Consider, whilst I may be the proverbial “white whale” of yours, that you have hunted across the oceans in vain, I would desire that you examine who caused you to lose me at the time of nearest success. For was it not that hedgehog there, who caused you to lose me when you had almost hanged me? Is he not the individual who stole the heart of a certain very-buxom lass you wished to marry and scronk? Shouldn't he be the one to bear the brunt of your well-deserved vengeance? Savvy?

 

Tails: Uhh…

 

Sonic: Did you understand any of that?

 

Tails: Not at all.

 

Knuckles: What I'm trying to say, is that Sonic ruined your life, and is going to be having raging hot sex with the woman you wanted to have raging hot sex with.

 

Tails: Oh. Why didn't you just say it like that in the first place?

 

Knuckles: Because, dude, dude, I am so high you wouldn't believe.

 

Sonic: Oh, just kill him already!

 

Tails: Unfortunately…he has a point!

 

[Tails spins his sword around, and starts fighting Sonic, as Knuckles, who somehow along the way, got his hands on the key, runs off. He makes it about four feet away before falling into an open grave. As Tails and Sonic duel, they step on the waterwheel which breaks off and starts rolling. Just as Knuckles pulls himself out of the grave, the wheel rolls over him and carries him off. So, now, Sonic and Tails are running on the outside of the wheel, and Knuckles is on the inside, trying to grab the key that fell off. Just as Knuckles gets his hands on the key, a metal bar smashes him in the head and he drops out of the wheel.]

 

Knuckles: (falling over) That's…gonna…leave a mark…

 

[The scene cuts to another part of the island where Megabyte and Cervantes are running with the chest {Author's Note: Has anybody else noticed that the geography for this entire sequence seems to be messed up entirely?} before they run into Rouge, who's panting from chasing them.]

 

Megabyte: I hate to say it, but damn, that's hot.

 

Rouge: What's hot about it? I'm just covered in sweat, breathing heavily, my chest rising and falling dramatically with every breath, my breasts straining against this ridiculously tight top.

 

[Cervantes faints. Megabyte tries to wake Cervantes back up, as the wheel rolls by with Knuckles chasing after it. Rouge stares as it goes by.]

 

Rouge: Well, that's not totally over the top.

 

[Rouge turns back to Megabyte and Cervantes.]

 

Rouge: Wait…how's he back on his feet again?

 

Megabyte: His soul still burns.

 

Rouge: What?

 

Cervantes: Arr arr arr arr, arr.

 

Rouge: Alright, give me the chest.

 

Megabyte: Don't you already have enough chest as it is?

 

[Rouge reaches for her sword, only to realize it's missing. Megabyte extends those claw things he has, and Cervantes pulls out the Soul Edge blade.]

 

Megabyte: Well, we might just have to cut you up…

 

[An axe spins through the air and lands in the tree near Rouge's head. The three turn to see a swarm of zergl- err…crewmembers from the Flying Person-of-Dutch-Extraction approaching.]

 

Rouge: RUN!

 

[Rouge, Megabyte, and Cervantes run off, fighting off the crew of the Flying Person-of-Dutch-Extraction. The scene cuts to Knuckles, chasing after the wheel. He snags the key as it rolls by, and heads off in another direction. Knuckles run for about two feet before colliding headfirst into Kerrigan, who was carrying the chest back to the Flying Person-of-Dutch-Extraction. She flies backwards into a tree and slumps to the ground.]

 

Knuckles: Terribly sorry about that. I didn't intend to knock you out, but alas, such is the risk of having sex with me…by the way, nice ass baby.

 

[Knuckles turns to the chest and pops the key into it. The chest dramatically opens, and Knuckles looks in. There's a beating heart in the chest.]

 

Knuckles: Oh, that's just gross.

 

[Kerrigan starts to stir back into consciousness. Knuckles grabs the heart and shoves it into his coat. Just as Kerrigan gets back to her feet, Knuckles whips the chest at her head, knocking Kerrigan out again. Knuckles sprints off. The scene cuts to the beach with the longboat. Knuckles reaches the boat first.]

 

Knuckles: Jar of dirt! Jar of dirt!

 

[Knuckles opens the jar of dirt, pours out some dirt, shoves the heart in {Author's Note: Totally unsanitary}, puts some dirt back in, and seals the jar. Suddenly, a sword swings towards him, and Knuckles tries to fight off a member of the Person-of-Dutch-Extraction's crew as everybody else starts to reach the beach more or less simultaneously, conveniently enough.]

 

Rouge: We're almost there!

 

Cervantes: (who somehow has the chest again) ARR!

 

Flying Person-of-Dutch-Extraction Crew #2: KILL THEM!

 

[The giant water wheel spins by, crushing a few of the crewmembers from the Person-of-Dutch-Extraction, before it collapses in the shallow water. Tails and Sonic stagger out of the wheel, obviously dizzy. Sonic falls into the water, but Tails meanders towards the longboat. He notices the jar of dirt and the spilled dirt. He reaches down, grabs the Letters of Marque (which are also somehow here), and starts to rummage in the jar of dirt. Meanwhile, the fight continues. But we're already getting sick of it, suffice to say, Sonic get's knocked out at some point.]

 

Rouge: We were never going to make it!

 

Tails: Not if we keep the chest…everybody into the boat!

 

[As everybody else closes around the boat, Tails grabs the chest and sprints off. The crew of the Flying Person-of-Dutch-Extraction looks after him for a second and then sets off in pursuit.]

 

Knuckles: Ah yes…now would be a good time for a strategic retreat.

 

Megabyte: I assume we're rowing again?

 

Knuckles: YES! NOW MOVE!

 

[The scene cuts to Tails running across the island, when he runs smack dab into a group of crewmembers from the Flying Person-of-Dutch-Extraction.]

 

Kerrigan: Your bravery has been wasted. I will now pry the chest from your cold…dea-

 

[Tails tosses the chest at Kerrigan, knocking her out again and then runs off into the woods of the island. The rest of the crew shrugs, picks up the chest, and wanders off, leaving the unconscious Kerrigan in the forest.]