D. Gray-man Fan Fiction ❯ Circus of Night ❯ To please a Customer ( Chapter 4 )

Disclaimer: The estranged world of D.Gray-man belongs to Hoshino Katsura, whom I worship for creating Kanda

 

Warning: Rape, Cursing and Violence…

 

Note from Israfel: And the next chapter is up! Made it in one night too!

 

CircUs of NIghT

 

~To please a customer~

 

 

The hall feels different then before, darker more unnatural, it makes Allen feel dizzy with worry. He feels heavy and every step seems to take him forever to make, seems to last a lifetime. He is terrified, fearful of what pleasing a customer means. He chances a look at Ivonne, who is walking before him, leading him back to his room.

 

He has been allowed to keep his old clothes, his past items, things that connect him to the Order still. Part of him wants to throw the items away though. He hates being reminded of how damn happy he had been there…

 

Allen feels like he is falling apart the closer he comes to the room that has his name on it. Ivonne is silent, she has been silent since they left the room, since she told him pleasing his first customer will be the hardest.

 

“Flower,” her voice cuts into his thoughts, always amazing Allen at how it sounds…

 

“Understand that if you do not please the customer you will be punished…” The boy can only swallow the lump that is gathering in his throat, that is making it harder for him to breathe.

 

They stop before his room and Allen walks inside, half expecting the woman to follow. She doesn't though; she waits by the door, out of view, not even watching him.

 

He grabs Tim out of his bag and stuffs the immobile golem into his sleeve.

 

Allen turns and heads back into the hall, feeling just a tad bit braver now that Tim is with him. He follows the woman back down an endless stretch of halls and corridors, all dimly lit and other worldly feeling. He himself feels like he no longer is apart of the outside world. The thought is terrifying to him…

 

Ivonne stops at a door and opens it. The boy hesitates outside the room, knowing that he is delaying the inevitable…

 

“Flower, get in here.” The woman's voice gives way for no conversation, for no disobedience and he can do nothing but obey. My arm doesn't work here… The thought floats to the forefront of Allen's mind, scaring him more then he feels he should be…

 

The room is lavish, like all the others he has been to except for his own room. The place is decorated in deep reds and dark wood. There is a queen sized bed towards the back, covered in deep red silk sheets and a black comforter. The bed is sitting atop a dark wood frame, complete with four posts.

 

Allen tears his eyes away from the bed and back to Ivonne. She is standing near a counter complete with a small sink and what looks like a single burner next to it. The moment the woman notices that Allen has turned his eyes back onto her she turns around and starts to pull a cup and teapot from the cupboard.

 

“You have to make tea for your customer; you will always make tea for them.” The boy nods his head, feeling a small bout of hope form in his chest. If the rest of his tasks where like this then he could handle being there, he could complete his mission with out any more problems…

 

“Don't pour the tea until the customer is in here but do take it off the burner when it's done.” Ivonne steps off to the side after pulling the sugar cubes out. She stares at Allen a moment, thinking if she should say anything else before deciding against it.

 

The boy turns to pour water into the tea kettle; he is trying not to think too much. He feels that if he gives the little bit of hope in his chest much thought then it will grow into something that can only be squashed…

 

“I am going to find a customer for you.” The woman states before moving towards the door. “I'll be gone for a few minutes.” Allen doesn't look back at her, doesn't show any signs that he has heard her.

 

“Sit on the white pillow when you are done…and remember it is your job to please your customers, no matter what.” He turns at that, looking for the pillow Ivonne spoke of. He sees it, sitting by the dark wood coffee table before a small couch, where he assumes the customer is to sit…

 

The door opens and shuts.

 

Allen hears the sound of a lock clicking shut and it weighs heavily on his mind…

 

He ignores the odd hopeful sensation in his chest and continues to make the tea, setting Timcanpy on the counter. He is trying to think of why he had brought the golem, why he felt the sudden need to turn him on again…

 

Allen is trying to ignore how his hands are shaking lightly, how he feels nervous, how the small amount of hope in his chest seems to be diminishing itself. The boy turns his attention back to Tim and turns him on. The golem immediately starts to fly around his head.

 

He waits a minute, watching the golden creature unaware of the look he is giving him, of the pained expression on his face. Timcanpy seems shocked at his appearance and he can't say he blames him.

 

“I know I look odd…” Allen says before moving to sit on the pillow. He lets the golem fly about him once more before saying anything else. “I can't have you turned on for long right now though…” Tim stops his movements before him, almost as if asking why.

 

“If they see you they'll know that I'm an exorcist, and that would be bad.” Allen looks down at his hands, letting Timcanpy fly about the room, recording everything he sees…

 

That is when he hears it, footsteps, loud and thunderous coming down the hall, in a half hurried manner. The boy can feel his heart beat quicken, can feel his anxiety rise and he begins to panic. He is standing in a flash, grabbing the Golem and trying to turn him off…

 

…only Tim is protesting…

 

“Stop, please,” Allen hates how worry is seeping into his voice, how his panic can be heard clearly. The steps are too close now, too close for him to power the golem down properly. “Listen, don't come out until I am completely alone again!” His voice is shaking and he is aware of the expression on his face, of the sheer panic he is displaying.

 

Allen hurries across the room, to the right side of the bed where there are several pillows pilled atop and around one another. He shoves Timcanpy underneath them before hurrying to take his place on the pillow. He can hear the latch on the door click and before he can do anything else, before he can even attempt to calm himself the door is opened.

 

Ivonne steps off to the side as a man walks into the room.

 

-

 

There is only silence in the library and it is misplaced for once.

 

Lavi is staring down at the file he has been given for his next assignment, but he is not reading it. His mind is still buzzing, his thoughts are still running rampant around his head. He can't push the emotions, the nagging sensations of worry, away. For once Lavi is hating how human he feels…

 

Bookman is sitting across the table from his student.

 

He is well aware of the fact that something has happened, something that has affected not only his student but Komui and Linalee as well. He has an idea of what has happened but he has long ago stopped coming to conclusions early.

 

Lavi closes his eyes, his head chaotic with all the emotions he is trying to block out, to force back, to pretend don't exist inside of him. It is late and he knows that he should probably try and sleep, after all he has promised to spend the next day with Linalee.

 

The redhead closes his eyes. He feels like he is spinning in the dark, drifting away from himself but before he becomes completely detached from his body Bookman speaks up.

 

“You have been staring at that piece of paper for almost an hour, if you haven't memorized it yet then I think you have damaged your head.” Lavi looks up at the small man. The look he is being given says that the other knows something has happened and that it would be best if he explained it.

 

The redhead looks back down at the file in front of he, to actually see what is written on it… They were being sent to St. David's in Wales… Bookman stood from the seat he has been occupying for the past hour.

 

“If you plan on keeping silent know that I do not appreciate it, as nothing good ever comes from keeping things inside.”

 

“Saying that from a Bookman's point of view…?” The sentence is cruel in words but the redhead's voice sounds empty, almost stoic if it wasn't for the small amount of pain that has leaked into it.

 

“No, I'm saying that as your mentor.” Lavi looks back down at the paper, the expression on Komui's face from earlier is floating into the forefront of his mind.

 

He is getting a headache from the memories…

 

“So, what has happened to the boy?” The redhead's eye snaps open and fixes on Bookman as he picks up the papers he has been reading.

 

“Geeze Panda, can't I keep anything to myself?” The sentence is given a small smirk at the end, showing the old man that he is still himself. For a second Lavi thinks that Bookman is going to yell at him for his choice in words but when nothing is said he knows that now is not a time to tease him.

 

The library falls back into silence and Lavi decides that he should give up for the night. He closes the file before him and leans back in the seat. His head is throbbing and he is trying to understand the ache he is feeling in his mind. He knows it is an emotion trying to force itself to the forefront of his thoughts.

 

“Allen's…missing…” There is a pause in Bookman's movements, a momentary one before he returns to his papers.

 

“He'll turn up; he's not the kind to disappear for very long.” The younger male shakes his head before standing.

 

“He's with the Circus of Night…” The room gains a sudden tension in the air, one that makes Lavi nervous all over again. He moves over towards the door, fully intent on heading back to their room.

 

“That's a problem then…”

 

“I know…” The younger man pauses in his steps, deciding to add another fact, “Komui isn't allowed to officially send anyone to help him…” He doesn't wait for anything more to be said before leaving the room.

 

The hall is cool feeling for the time of year but he takes no notice to it. Lavi has once again slipped back into his mind. He is thinking of Allen, of what the boy might be going through and the more he thinks about it the more he realizes that he will never be the same when he returns.

 

Lavi can't help but wonder how damaged Allen might become…

 

-

 

Ivonne looks at Allen, her eyes are harsh and for a moment he is transfixed by them, terrified and amazed by the glare. He realizes though as the man moves to sit on the couch that he has to serve him tea.

 

“H-how much sugar would you like?” The door is shut and Allen assumes that Ivonne has left the room.

 

“None…” The man's voice is hard to decipher, hard to comprehend.

 

He has no idea how he is supposed to act…

 

Allen pours the tea into a small cup before walking over and placing it on the dark wood table. He takes his seat on the white pillow, his legs folded neatly underneath him. The man takes a sip of the tea he has been given and Allen glances at him; he is unsure if he is to look the customer in the eye…

 

“You know you are a rather beautiful flower.” The boy glances at the man again, at his lightly tanned skin and dark hair; he is avoiding eye contact. The sentence has made him uneasy and he feels violated by it.

 

“Th-thank you…” He tries to remain polite, to be courteous but he can't help how his voice shakes, how his mind is screaming at him that something bad is going to happen…

 

The man sets the tea cup down on the table and leans forward, “Come, sit at my feet, I want to see you a little better…” Allen feels his stomach churn and he is starting to feel nauseas, his heart is starting to beat faster then before.

 

His pulse is accelerating and his anxiety along with it.

 

He stands after a moment and does as the man has asked, he has given him no reason to be wary of him yet. Please your customer… Allen can smell the man now, can smell the cologne he is wearing and the scent that is undeniably wrong to him. He swallows the lump forming in his throat, praying that his heart isn't beating as loud as he thinks it is.

 

That is when he feels a hand on his face, on his cheek.

 

The boy jerks back, his hands are beginning to tremble; his fear is starting to physically show itself now. He can't help but think of one thing though, and that is that the hand was too soft, too unused and well taken care of…

 

“Don't be like that Flower…” The last word is stressed and it sends a shiver down Allen's spine, making him feel violated again. He gives a sideways glance up at the man and catches his eyes this time, the look in them.

 

The look alone is enough to scare him, the lecherous stare that is fixed on him…

 

He suddenly feels disgusted with himself, with the place he is in, with Komui who has sent him there. He is starting to resent the Asian man, to resent even the Order. His thoughts are brought to a halt as he feels that all too soft hand on the back of his neck, forcing his head to tilt back some, to make him look at the man.

 

“I think it's about time that I see what's under that pretty robe you are wearing…”

 

Allen pulls back, physically moving himself a few feet from the man. He is feeling violated again and wraps his arms around himself protectively. He knows very well now that he was right to be wary, to worry about his proximity with the man.

 

For a moment there is nothing said and all Allen can do is stare at the other, hoping that his glare has the same intensity that Kanda's always did… The man seems amused at his reaction and even smiles a little before realizing that he is serious and not just playing with him.

 

His smile quickly falls into a frown.

 

“You shouldn't look at me like that; I'm not a bad person.” Allen can feel his restraint suddenly snap, can feel himself fall back into how he used to be. He can't help but reply.

 

“You shouldn't look at me like that, it's disgusting!” With in an instant the man is on his feet, towering over Allen a good foot or so. He is glaring at him, clearly hating what has just been said. The boy feels like he should say something but his heart is pounding so loud that it is starting to affect his mind.

 

That is when he feels it…

 

…the sudden slap to his head, hard enough to knock him to the ground in a pathetic heap.

 

Allen is dazed, his head is spinning and he knows that he should move, should do something but his mind is reeling from the blow. He feels his arms being moved, pinned down to his sides. His vision is blurry and he feels like he is going to be sick, the room is spinning…

 

“You will fucking obey me you piece of shit!” The man's voice is near his ear, growling at him, sending Allen's body into high alert, his mind trying to kick start itself from the all to dizzying blow.

 

“I paid for you and you will fucking let me have you.” The boy's head gives a painful throb. His blood is rushing through his system, making it hard for him to hear. He has to do something before anything more happens…

 

Allen feels a hand slip up his leg, his thigh.

 

His mind snaps back into order in an instant, telling him that self preservation has to happen now, that he has to protect himself over the others life.

 

He fights the man, shoves him off of his body, using all of his strength to protest the threat that is happening. The man is cursing, hitting him, but Allen is persistent, is shoving and fighting more then he feels he's fought for anything before.

 

He is given another blow to the head before the man moves away from him, glaring and clearly pissed. The boy feels triumphant for a moment, for a split second before he realizes what is about to happen.

 

The man is already at the door, already calling out to someone. Allen's head is throbbing, his ears feel deaf and he suddenly can't think. He's close to begging the man to come back into the room… He almost does so except by the time he thinks about it Ivonne is at the door.

 

“You have a problem?” She asks in that voice that Allen loves and hates.

 

“He is not obeying me!” The man snaps. The boy opens his mouth, about to protest but Ivonne is walking towards him, her eyes are intense and he is suddenly terrified of what is about to happen. She stops just before him and for a moment Allen thinks she is going to say something, only for a moment though because she raises her hand to strike him.

 

The blow never lands…

 

…he opens his eyes and stares at the Circus Master as she holds onto Ivonne's hand.

 

“Leave the room.” The words are demanded at the other woman. The younger one nods, terror flashing upon her face before turning and saying something to the man, something that Allen cannot hear, his ears feel deaf, are still unhearing.

 

All he can hear is his own heart beating, hammering away at his rib cage. He can't think of anything but the pain he felt when he woke up, of when he was marked. His eyes are large and the expression on his face is of nothing but pure fear.

 

Allen realizes now that he has made a mistake in trying to protect himself. He has momentarily forgotten that he no longer owns himself, that the woman before him does…

 

…and that his arm no longer works…

 

The Circus Master raises her hand and brings it down on Allen with so much force that he is knocked over again. He is trying to protect himself this time, and covers his head with his arms. The blow still lands, still knocks him over and onto his side.

 

He is starting to cry now, trying to think of some way to protect himself. The woman is screaming at him but her shouts are falling on deaf ears. Allen can feel the sound starting up, the sound that woke him up before.

 

He is kicked in the ribs as the ringing starts in his ears, soft at first but quickly growing in intensity. The pain is starting up causing him to grab his head, to pull at his hair. The tears are gathering in his eyes, more so then before. Allen is starting to shout, to scream for the pain to stop.

 

The Circus Master scoffs at him, her voice the only thing he can hear through the mind numbing noise, “You brought this upon yourself!” She hits him again and Allen screams, pulling at his hair even more now. He feels like his brain is going to explode, like he is losing his mind.

 

“Please!” He shouts through his tears, his body twisting in agony. “Make it stop! Make the sound stop!”

 

Allen is hit again, the woman's voice breaking through the sound, “Will you obey your customer now?”

 

“Yes!” The boy sobs wanting nothing more but to never hear that sound again. The Circus Master smirks and leans back, standing up straight. She stares down at Allen, watching him pull his body into a fetal position as the shrill noise starts to fade, as the pressure inside of his skull lessens.

 

He is left crying on the floor for a moment, only for a moment because the woman drags him towards the bed. He can do nothing to protest, nothing to deny the other of what she is doing; his body is physically drained because of the pain.

 

She pulls his Yukata open, exposing his body to the room. Allen stares up at the ceiling, his head id numb and his body feels heavy. The door opens and for a moment he can hear people talking, he doesn't understand what they are saying though, his head is too numb, his mind too scrambled to concentrate on anything.

 

He can't help but continue to cry silently, to let his pain be shown. He doesn't want to be there, to have been given this mission. Allen knows that he will never complete it, that he is stuck there. He gives another chocked sob and sees something in the corner of his eye.

 

He has forgotten all about Timcanpy…

 

The door shuts and Allen can hear the man walk towards him, taking heavy steps to make his presence even more apparent. The man stops at the foot of the bed and smirks at him, at how he has got his way, after all he is the customer…

 

“You know, you have a lovely design on your pelvic bone and naval…” The boy has no clue what the man is talking about. He isn't given time to think though as he feels a finger run across his pelvic bone, in an attempt at teasing him. He can only feel disgusted with himself.

 

Allen says nothing; he turns his head away from the man and catches sight of where Timcanpy is hiding. A sound fills the room, and he knows what it is. His heart rate jumps again…

 

The man is undoing his pants…

 

The bed shifts a moment later as the other climbs onto it. He drags his hands along Allen's torso, down to his hips and past his thighs. He is spreading his knees. The boy squeezes his eyes shut and looks away from where Tim is hiding, he can feel a fresh set of tears filling his eyes, blurring his vision once more.

 

The man is saying something to him but he tries to block it out, tries to ignore all thoughts. His tears are free flowing now, spilling from his eyes as he feels something wet enter him.

 

Allen lays still, limp on the bed, trying to think of something, anything other then the finger that is inside of him. The man says something about him being somewhat stretched…

 

He closes his eyes, trying to imagine the Order, trying to remember what he used to be like, what it felt like to be so naive of the world. His hair is fisted and his head is suddenly tilted back.

 

“Look at me Flower.” The man hisses angrily, his eyes showing nothing but contempt for the boy. Allen nods and his hair is let go. He continues to stare at the man, not really looking at him, not really seeing anything at all. The fingers that have been inside of him are removed and replaced quickly with something much larger and more disgusting feeling.

 

Allen can't help but compare the feeling to the illusion of Kanda, he can't deny how he had wanted it at that time, no matter what he said in the beginning. The man is making a sound, saying something more but he blocks him out, ignoring the pulse inside of him as much as possible.

 

He feels violated, and sickened with himself. He hates how he is unable to fight back, how he feels so utterly helpless. Allen wants to say no, wants to harm the man more then anything he has ever encountered in his life, more then the Millennium Earl at that moment.

 

But he knows he can't…

 

…that his arm does not work there…

 

The man starts to move, starts to pull out and push back in. Allen gasps at the sudden sensation, in pain but the man takes it another way, smirking and speeding his pace up. The boy feels like he is being ripped in half. He wants to vomit, wants to hurt the other. He wants to do so many things but he knows he can't, that he can't do anything if he wants to live…

 

The sensation continues and Allen is trying to count all of the finders in the Order, trying to keep his mind busy, to detach himself from the moment. The man's breathing is growing labored, and despite how nauseating the sound is the boy is glad to hear it, to know that what is happening will be over soon…

 

There is a grunt that fills the room and something warm and sticky spills inside of him, increasing the nauseating sensation in his stomach. The man sits there for a moment, basking in his release before pulling out. The boy is thankful for no longer being in contact with the man.

 

The sound of rustling clothes fills the air.

 

Allen closes his eyes, counting the seconds that it takes for the man to leave the room, the seconds it takes for him to completely break down and cry.

 

The door opens and shuts.

 

A silence fills the void only broken by his sobs. He has pulled his body back into a fetal position, facing towards the left side of the room. Allen is wishing that someone would come for him, would come save him before he completely loses himself.

 

There is a light sound from the other side of the room alerting the boy. He realizes that Timcanpy is still on, has witnessed what he has just gone through. The golem peaks out from beneath the pillows, almost timid like. Allen covers his body with the open robe and hurries towards Tim. He is trying to ignore the pain in his chest, the overwhelming need to cry again.

 

“I'm so sorry Tim…” His voice is shaking, trembling as much as his hands as he picks the golden creature up. “I'm so sorry!” He fumbles a moment, trying to power the golem off.

 

Allen is successful after a second and before anything more happens he stuffs the creature into his sleeve. He is left in silence once more, an over powering silence that makes him wish he was with someone else, makes him wish he was someone else. He can feel his eyes tear up once more as his vision becomes distorted.

 

The door to the room opens up and Ivonne steps inside. She stares at the boy a moment before speaking in a voice that almost sounds like she cares about his well being.

 

“That was only you're first customer, you will have to learn to keep in line and do whatever they wish from now on.” Allen nods his head, reaching up and wiping some of his tears away, wishing he didn't feel so pathetic.

 

“Up, it's time for you to bathe,” The woman's voice has taken on its harsh tone again, causing him to wish someone would come and help him, would come for him already.

 

And he has no idea when it will happen

 

Soooooooo… I'm mostly healed from my dental procedures, except for a few stitches left in my mouth which I swear I am going to rip them out soon, as they are annoying as hell. I have very little planned for the next chapter, which I have no clue when I'll get on it but I will, have no worries on that. The only thing that I know for certain is that it's not going to be as depressing as this, close but not as much, at least in my mind.

 

On another note I realized I listen to Flyleaf (one of the few American bands I like) while typing this, towards the rape though I switched to TATU… If anyone has suggestions as to what type of music/band this fic reminds them of please feel free to tell me, as I am always eager to hear new music. OH and has anyone else heard Kanda sing…? :D Love the song even though it is very OOC for him… And have no fear everyone, Kanda will appear at some point, the question is, when? Up next: Away from here

 

Au Revoir,

~Israfel~