Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ Confessions, the talk show! ❯ Confessions returns! ( Chapter 2 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: Splash 
Announcer adjusts one rule that creates complete chaos...
Anime/Manga: Digimon Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 09.04.2001 | Pages: 11 | Words: 3.9K | Visits: 342 | Status: Completed
Announcer adjusts one rule that creates complete chaos...
Anime/Manga: Digimon Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 09.04.2001 | Pages: 11 | Words: 3.9K | Visits: 342 | Status: Completed
*******
Confessions: The return!
By Splash
*******
Notes: It's BAA~AAACK, by popular demand! Same stuff as the last... just more!!!!! *evil grin* Rated R for innuendos (not as many as last time, sorry! Half because I'm more DIRECT this time ~_^) but to make up for that... more craziness, yaoi galore and lots of Sora BASHING, BASHING, BASHING galore! A few more couplings and other weird repititive things are stuck into this one, too ^_^ And as usual.. NA names so the general audience knows who's who, but there are still some Japanese references (if you don't understand any Japanese, it won't ruin ya) ^_^ Also some show spoilers... if you don't know anything about episodes 31-50 about season 02...
*Denotes whispering! ^_^*
*******
Announcer: You know the rules from last time, but this time it's a little different! ALL questions must be answered! And... bitch fighting IS allowed, but I'm refereeing! (smiles) Let's get this show on the road! Not only do we have the 12 Digidestined and their Digimon, but we have some other people, such as Michael and Willis! (to self) This is gonna be fun...
Willis: Uh... I didn't hear the last sentence...
Announcer: Leaving off from what happened ever since the last show.. our official couplings are... Tai and Matt...
Matt: (imitating an osaka accent and making a victory sign) V!!!!
Announcer: Davis and Ken...
Davis: (imitating an osaka accent and making a victory sign) V!!!!
Announcer: And TK and Kari!
TK: (imitating an osaka accent and making a victory sign) V!!!!
Announcer: Even though there are still some nights when TK goes over to Davis and Ken's...
TK: (still with the victory sign) uhh...
Willis: Hold on a moment. Tai and Matt and Davis and Ken are...
Tai: (imitating an osaka accent and making a victory sign) yep!
Announcer: Stop that!
Tai: (pouts)
Matt: Tai's sad... You just crossed the line, Announcer! RARGH! (pounces on Announcer)
Announcer: AH!!!
Michael: Announcer's a girl, right?
Mimi: She is both genders, and yet she is neither.
Izzy: Whoa, Mimi got philosophical!
(Announcer cries out in laughter from Matt's tickling)
Mimi: I've been studying with Michael.
Joe: You...
Michael: But we call her a she, right? So we could just presume that she's female.
Announcer: Ooohoo! Hehehe! Haha! Heheh... hey! Watch where you stick your hands, Matt!
Tai: Matt, get off her!
Matt: She's gonna pay!
Tai: Mm... (thinks frantically) I'm not sad anymore, so stop it before I start getting jealous!
Matt: Eep. (Immediately leaves Announcer alone, a ragged messy glob on the floor)
Izzy: Glob?
Mimi: Announcer is solid, liquid and gas all at the same time!
Izzy: Prodigious..
Announcer: Thanks, Tai, I owe ya!
Tai: The glob's talking to me... uh.. (shakes head) naw, I'm just paying back from the last show. Thanks for setting me and Matt up! (smiles)
Announcer: (forms two eyes to see Tai's smile) That gave me enough momentum! Whazza! (turns back into solid)
Ken: Announcer, I also must thank you... for Davis-
Willis: WHAT? Hey... what's going on here? Why are they thanking Announcer for certain people?
Davis: Shouldn't you know? I mean, us two-
Sora: (yells out) I'm here! Now the show's really starting!
Mimi: Hmm? Sora wasn't here yet? *I didn't notice...*
Sora: Nope! I was out... uh...
Davis: Prostitutin'?
Sora: Unh! Davis!
Biyomon: I'd tell ya, but Sora said to keep it a secret!
Davis: So you WERE out prostitutin'!
Sora: DAVISSSSS... if you don't shut up right now I'll tell Kari some of your dirty secrets...
Davis: (gasp) A...ah..
Sora: Including the one about Willis...
Davis: Oh. That one. I don't care if the whole world knew! (grins sheeplessly) WILLY-CHAN!
Willis: Ah! Davis, not so loud!
Sora: Huh? What's a Willy-chan? Ah, whatever..
Announcer: So where does Willis stand in all of this?
Willis: Uh...
Davis: Willlly....
Willis: (through gritted teeth) *ShutupDavis.*
Davis: But Willisssyy...
Willis: *Shutupshutup!*
Ken: (blinks) what?
Davis: Oh! May I introduce you to Willis, Ken?
Ken: (holds out hand) Yoroshiku.
(Ken and Willis shake)
Davis: He's great to be alone with in the woods.
Willis: (grits teeth harder) *Shutuuuuuuup...*
Terriermon: Could you speak up, Willis? I can't hear you.
Wormmon: With your ears you still have trouble hearing?
Terriermon: Hell ya!
Veemon: You-you-you cussed!
Terriermon: Hell ya!
Hawkmon: Did you catch it from Willis?
Terriermon: Naw, his mom won't let him cuss.
Davis: Momma's boy.
Willis: Hey! (makes fists)
Davis: Sorry, Willy-chan.
Willis: Don't call me that!
Davis: (puts hands behind head) Why not?
Willis: Because... (turns pink) I...
Davis: Hmm? (gives him a smug look)
Willis: Mmm...
Ken: (standing between Davis and a reddening Willis with an innocent look on on his face) What's going on?
Announcer: Wow, Ken is actually clueless about something.
Sora: (Sees Tai and Matt standing together) Heya, boys! (skips up between them and casually slaps her hands on both boys)
(Matt and Tai try to wiggle out, but Sora has miraculously gained super human powers)
Announcer: Wow, you're actually GIVING Sora more power?
(...)
(The author can't answer...)
Announcer: Oh, right, no self-insertions.
Joe: UWAH!
Mimi: Huh? What was that "UWAH!" for, Joe?
(The author thinks Joe looks cute when he's hyper)
Announcer: Uh... (sweatdrops)
Joe: (points to Michael) It's that guy you told me about over the phone!
Mimi: You just realized he was here?
Joe: Mmm..
Michael: Hey, Joe, I've heard a lot about you!
Joe: (cheers up) From Mimi?
Michael: No, from Yolei, but anyhow-
Joe: (falls over) Uwahhh...
Gomamon: What's wrong, Joe? You look kinda disappointed.
Michael: So Mimi, how about that dinner tonight?
Joe: WHAT? DINNER?!?!
Mimi: Yeah, Michael and I are going out.
Joe: But... but Mimi!
Announcer: It seems to me we have some triangles to solve...
Davis: And with Willis in it, our's is more like a rectangle.
Wormmon: Rectangle?
Davis: Oh yeah, Wormmon... that makes it a pentagon!
Yolei: I heard some kids at school talking about love octagons the other day...
--------- After much discussion...----------
Announcer: All right! Let's get to the bitch fighting you've all been waiting for!
Davis: Veemon, armor digivolve to Flamedramon, the fire of courage!
Veemon: Hey, that's my line!
Davis: What do you mean? That was a command! Veemon, armor digivolve to Fla-
Flamedramon: -medramon, the fire of courage. I got ya, I got ya, gese.
(The author totally adores Flamedramon, both Japanese and English versions)
Flamedramon: Aw, shucks... (puts an arm behind his head and blushes)
(Greymon, Garurumon, Kabuterimon, Ikkakumon, Birdramon, Togemon, Gargomon and Seadramon appear)
(Halsemon, Digmon, Pegasusmon and Nefertimon appear)
Wormmon: Damn it, I wish I had an armor digivolution...
Terriermon: Booyah! I'm contagious!
Ken: Don't worry, Wormmon, I love you just as you are. You don't need an armor digivolution. Stingmon's just as great!
Wormmon: (eyes become all sparkly and shaky) KEN-CHAN!!!!!!!! Anything for you!!!! WORMMON DIGIVOLVE TO-
Stingmon: STINGMON! WOOOOOOOSHAAAAAAAAAA!!!! BOOYAH!
Announcer: That'd be really neat if I actually heard that in the Digimon show, Stingmon.
Stingmon: Wouldn't it? Ken-chan loves me just the way I am!
Davis: What about meee?
Ken: (calmly) I love you too, Davis... very much...
Davis: (eyes become all sparkly and shaky) You're buttering me up... WAH!!! (glomps onto Ken)
Stingmon: Um... can we go on?
Ken: Oh, uh, sure thing. Attack, Stingmon!
(Stingmon goes chasing after a flying bunny with gatling guns for arms)
(At this point the reader is supposed to say, " What? Did I miss something?")
Announcer: And what a great question that is! Let's recap on what happened here.. Ken, spotlight's on you.
Ken: It took me quite some time to realize that Willis has been taking my Davis from me.
Willis: WHAT? Davis SEDUCED me! I never-
Ken: YOU TOOK HIM AWAY FROM ME!
Willis: Did not!
Ken: Did too!
Willis: Did not!
Ken: Did too!
(blah blah blah...)
Davis: You guys argue like me and Cody.
Cody: Use proper grammer, Davis... Cody and me!
Davis: Grr, I'm sick of your smart-aleck attitude!
Cody: Well, I'm sick of your arrogance!
Davis: (gets pissed) That's it! Flamedramon, attack Cody!
Digmon: IORI! Kimi wa mamorru da gya!!! (stands in front of Cody)
Flamedramon: Heya, bugger. FIRE ROCKET! (launches fireballs)
Digmon: AIE DA GYA!
Announcer: Uh, yeah... next situation..
Kari: TK YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF -BEEEEEEEEEEP-T!
TK: Kari, please, you don't understand! I-
Kari: YES, I DO -Censored- UNDERSTAND! YOU -Censored--Censored- WITH DAVIS AND KEN AND YOU NEVER -Censored- TOLD ME, YOU -Censored--Censored--Censored--Censored--Censored--
TK: Kari! Please, listen!-
Kari: I OUGHTA-Censored--Censored-YOUR-Censored-HEAD-
TK: Kariiiiiiiiiii!
Kari: FLUSH IT DOWN THE-Censored--Censored--Censored-
Yolei: (popping out from the sidelines and hollering) O.O.C.!!!!!!!!!!!
TK: I give up..
Kari: NEFERTIMON, GO -Censored- HIM UP GOOD!
TK: (eyes pop) That gave me a really weird picture in my mind... WHOA!
(TK dodges a Rosetta Stone)
Yolei: (popping out again) You know, if it weren't for Digimon attacks, that would sound REALLY weird right now...
(Yeah, having a Rosetta Stone chucked at you is one thing...)
Pegasusmon: TK! On my back, quick!
(TK gets onto Pegasusmon's back and they fly away, Kari and Nefertimon following closely behind)
Announcer: (nods head) Mmhmm, mmhmm. And now we move on to Mimi, Joe and Michael, who have some problems of their own!
Joe: UWAH! (flings arms around aimlessly) IKKAKUMON, ATTACKKKKKK!!!
Ikkakumon: Harpoon Torpedo!
Michael: Come on, Seadramon, fight back!
Seadramon: Right! (launches ice from mouth) Seadramon's-attack-that-the-good-for-nothing-author-forgot!
Mimi: Tch, tch, bad author. Don't even remember Seadramon's attack.
Author: WAHHHHHHHH! Oh-uh-shouldn't be here-uh-bye!
Announcer: Mm? Sorry, I kinda dozed off. Well, it's pretty apparent about what's going on over there... apparently Mimi's neutral...
NOVA BLAST!
HOWLING BLASTER!
Sora: Hey, two against one's not fair!!!!
Birdramon: (dodges attacks) Birdramon digivolve to...
Garudamon: You know my name, so... WING BLADE!
Tai: Heh. I think I'll just sit back and watch the works.
(Greymon and Garurumon digivolve to Metalgreymon and Metal-er-Weregarurumon)
Matt: Hey, it'd be cooler if we had both metals at the same time, though (smiles).
Metalgreymon: Giga blaster!
Weregarurumon: Wolf claw!
Sora: No! I refuse to fight this way! I know! (grabs Yolei) Make Halsemon fight!
Yolei: (freaked out by Sora's freaky face) O-o-okay... he's only an armor, though...
Sora: I don't care! FIGHT!
Announcer: So Halsemon joins the fight... dodoledo..
(A bunny with pants on flies by)
Willis: Grr... author, can't you just call him Gargomon?- Hey, watch out behind you!
(Rambo bunny dodges a Spiking Finish from Stingmon)
Flamedramon: Waaazaa! (Fire Rockets into Digmon, making him dedigivolve back to Armadillomon)
Cody: No! We'll go for Submarimon!
(Armadillomon digivolves to Submarimon, the guardian of the sea! ^_^)
Flamedramon: Waaazaa! (Fire Rockets into Submarimon, making him dedigivolve back to Armadillomon)
Cody: Hey, no fair! He should've had an advantage!
Davis: But there's no water around. (crosses his arms and playfully sticks out tongue)
Armadillomon: In that case... Armadillomon digivolve to...
Ankylomon: DA GYA!!!! (chases after Flamedramon, who dedigivolves)
Veemon: Aie! There's a scary dinosaur running after me!!!! (Digivolves to Raidramon)
Announcer: (whirls in eyes) Too many digivolutions...
ROSETTA STONE!
Pegasusmon: Whoa, that was close! Nefertimon, it's me, Pegasusmon! Why are you doing this?
Nefertimon: Because you're Pegasusmon! Now turn into Angemon before I really whoop your shiny Ass's ass!
Pegasusmon: Ass? Oh... uh... (dedigivolves to Patamon)
TK: AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Patamon!!!!!!!!!
Patamon: (falling) TK, you got pretty heavy over the few years!
TK: No, really?!?!?!?! YOU IDIOT!
(Patamon digivolves to Angemon right before impact with the ground)
TK: (sigh) Relief... don't do that again! Now let's beat up that woman!
Angemon: I thought you were trying to be passive about all this?
TK: Not anymore! Digivolve again!
(Angemon digivolves to MagnaAngemon)
Nefertimon: Wait, let me join you, my love!
(O_O)
(Blah blah... Nefertimon does the necessary changes to become Angewomon)
VULCAN'S HAMMER!
FLOWER CANNON!
Announcer: Huh? Oh... Zudomon's attacking Seadramon but Lillymon stepped in to protect Seadramon... Huh?
Joe: Mimi! Why are you doing this? I... I...
Mimi: I'm sorry, Joe, but you have to understand that I live in America now! A relationship between us could never happen unless you moved there, too! And you seemed too tied up in your studies..
Michael: In other words, it's all your fault, Joe.
Joe: Michael! RARGE! (Tackles Michael to the ground)
Announcer: Finally, some human contact!
Mimi: Eh... (eyes boggle) That's the part I always hate about physical fighting...
Tai: (hears Mimi and smiles) Well, I kinda like it...
Matt: (nods) I know what you mean...
Sora: Hey, guys... you know, we don't HAVE to fight using the Digimon-
Tai: NO.
Matt: NO.
Sora: But it'd be a lot-
Tai: METALGREYMON!
Matt: WEREGARURUMON!
(Metalgreymon and Weregarurumon come up and kick Sora)
(But Sora amazingly is rooted to the ground with her supernatural powers)
Announcer: Author, you're doing it again!
(whoa... O_O)
(Halsemon dedigivolves to Hawkmon and then to Shurimon)
Shurimon: From griffin to ninja! HA! (throws shurikens at Weregarurumon, who punches them away easily) Uh... (sweatdrops)
Weregarurumon: Garuru kick!
(Shurimon's down in an instant!)
Yolei: See, Sora? I told you armor digivolutions weren't that great...
Sora: (grabs Yolei by the collar) Then digivolve NORMALLY, you idiot!
Yolei: Yes'm.
Hawkmon: All right, then... Hawkmon digivolve to...
Aquillamon: AQUILLAMON!
(Spotlight appears on Aquillamon and everything else is blacked out)
Aquillamon: (showing off his stuff, pointing his wings to his head) I'm HORNYYYYYYY!
Yolei: (gawks) Aquillamon, have you no sense of humanity?
Aquillamon: (stoic voice) Oh, the HUMANITY! Wait, I only said that when I was Halsemon...
(spotlight goes away to reveal...
A dog thing running away from a giant yellow dinosaur while a munchkin and a guy in goggles follow closely behind...
The giant bug and flying bunny with gatling guns and pants duking it out...
Joe straddling Michael in a very promising position... and Mimi's just standing there...
Metalgreymon and Weregarurumon sharing champagne over Garudamon's corpse...
MagnaAngemon and Angewomon... uh...)
TK: Making out on the floor? Or should I say midair? O_o;
Kari: For all to see...It's pretty loud with all this fighting. You know, TK, I think it's important for your manhood to have some nice horny butt sex with other guys once in a while. You know, to relieve tension? I mean, condoms must be quite a restrain for you.
(all other sounds stop)
(...)
(...)
Yolei: (stepping in from the sides) O.O.C.!!!!!!
Willis: God, are ALL you Japanese Digidestined like this?!?!
Davis: Kari, I knew you had it in ya! (makes fist in triumph)
(Heh, told ya I was gonna be more direct XP)
Kari: I am merely TK's soul partner, I have no right to interfere with his complicated sex life...
(...)
Yolei: Uh... Out... of... character...
Announcer: (ahem) Are we gonna continue bitchfighting or not?
Everyone: Oh, that's right!
TK: (while his face is going through the whole color spectrum) I think Kari and I are finished...
Raidramon: BLUE THUNDER!
Cody: No! Ankylomon!
Davis: I'm gonna hurry this battle up... Raidramon, switch to XVeemon!
(And he does that :P)
Davis: Ken, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Ken: Yep! Now we prove our bondage! DAISUKE!!!!!!!!!! (glomps onto Davis girl-bawling)
(And thus the miracle of the DNA Digivolution of XVeemon and Stingmon combined is formed... PAILDRAMON!)
Announcer: Woohoo! More gatlin' guns!! (Osaka accent) V!
Gargomon: Grr... well, feel the wrath of MY gatling guns! (shoots everywhere, causing innocents to go around in panic)
Willis: Ahh!! Stop shooting so much!
(Gargomon's guns suddenly slow down, smoking at the ends)
Gargomon: Uh, is it possible to run out of bullets?
Willis: If you've run out of energy...
Gargomon: Oh.. WAHHHHHHHHHHH! (dedigivolves to Terriermon)
Terriermon: I tried...
Davis: Yeehee! We won that match! So fess up, Willis! Tell the REAL truth!
Willis: I WAS telling the truth! You seduced me into doing that... that...
Cody: TK! GET ANGEMON OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!
TK: (sunbathing with no sun with Kari) Huh? Okay... Magnamon, I think you better stop now...
MagnaAngemon: Magnamon? I'm an Angel, not a pile of scrap metal.
Paildramon: HEY! Are you calling my golden digivolution a-
MagnaAngemon: Something tells me this is gonna become personal... (dedigivolves to Patamon then digivolves to Angemon, then DNA digivolves with Ankylomon-)
Announcer: AH!! SPOILER BARRIER! SPOILER BARRIER!!!
Shakkoumon: Well, in time this won't be a spoiler anymore...
Announcer: (looks at Shakkoumon) Whoa... that huge metal teapot thing is Ankylomon's and Angemon's DNA digivolution? *Hypocrite Angemon...*
Paildramon: Take back that comment about Magnamon!
Shakkoumon: NEVAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Paildramon: HISSSSS!
Shakkoumon: Reeoar!!!
Davis: (scratching cheek with one finger) That's kinda funny watching them make those cat fighting noises...
Ken: No fair, I should be the one scratching that cheek...
Angewomon: Aquillamon, shall we DNA Digivolve as well?
Aquillamon: Why not? Angemon's not around...
Angewomon: All right, then! (dedigivolves to Gatomon) Ready when you are!
(Gatomon and Aquillamon digivolve together into Sylphimon!)
Hikari: Ah, I see. Aquillamon and Gatomon think DNA Digivolving together is like joining as one being... which is like sex!
(silence)
(...)
TK: ...Kari...?
Kari: Well, neither of them really have a reason to fight, so perhaps they digivolved together just for the sensation of-
TK: Kari, PLEASE!!!!
Sora: Sylphimon sure as HELL has a reason to fight! Come on!
Sylphimon: (glares at Sora) And if we don't want to?
Sora: Then I'll MAKE you fight! (literally chucks Sylphimon at Metalgreymon, who falls back from the powerful impact and smushes Weregarurumon with his ass)
(Fortunately they dedigivolve back to Agumon and Gabumon quickly enough before anything else happens...)
(Sylphimon is out cold)
Sora: Aw... no more Digimon! I guess I'll fight myself! WARGH! (pumps up)
Matt: You scared?
Tai: No, are you?
Matt: No, but I think I'll just hang onto you...
(they hold hands... does this sound familiar or is it just me? O_o)
Tai: But this time we don't need to get SHOT!
Matt: -By arrows, that is..
(Agumon and Gabumon warp digivolve to Wargreymon and Metalgarurumon)
(A big giant hunk of tin can goes flying by)
Ken: That's certainly random. Oh wait, that's Shakkoumon.
Davis: Paildramon wins!!!
Cody: Shakkoumon!
TK: Shakkoumon!
(They run after their flying giant tin can)
Michael: YOU WHORE!
Joe: YOU PROSTITUTE!
Davis: Are you guys talking about Sora?
Sora: Hey what? (wrestling off Wargreymon and Metalgarurumon at the same time)
Mimi: Joe, if it'll make it up to you, I'll be in America for a while...
Michael: But Mimi!
Announcer: (pats mouth with palm) Ahh, that'll be the end of my life listening to those two boys...
Tai: My gosh, I didn't expect Sora to be so strong...
Matt: I thought this was a Sora BASHING fic?
(Oh, that's true, isn't it? Hey, that just made me realize something...)
Announcer: Author, you're doing self-insertions... but since it's not direct, I'll allow it. Now WHAT DID YOU REALIZE?
(Where is he?)
TK: Izzy? No, we're looking for Ken-
Cody: Wrong script, TK.
TK: Huh? Oh...
(But he's right... IZZY! How could we forget him?)
(And all this time Izzy has been sitting in the corner with Tentomon, both seem to be lost in the laptop in Izzy's lap)
Davis: The laptop's in his lap... wow! It's in his lap! That's why it's called a laptop! Wow!-
Ken: (hammers Davis) Baka.
Tai: Hey, Izzy, we could use some help!
Izzy: Huh? Oh... Tentomon?
Tentomon: Hainya, Koushirou-han! (digivolves to Kabuterimon and then Megakabuterimon and then Herculeskabuterimon)
Matt: Huh? Since when could he-
Izzy: I found a program online that let me get Kabuterimon to mega digivolve just for this fic!
Tai: Kewl! (flashes Izzy a thumbs up)
Matt: You gonna flash him more than that, Tai?
Tai: Uh..
Matt: Anyhow, we got 3 megas to go against one Sora!
(Herculeskabuterimon fulls out attacks Sora)
(Sora picks up Shakkoumon)
Sora: I have a giant tin can and I know how to USE it!
Herculeskabuterimon: Ah!
(Sora shoots three somethings out of Shakkoumon, one aimed at each of the megas)
Tai: Wargreymon!
Matt: Metalgarurumon!
Izzy: Herculeskabuterimon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(By the time Izzy finishes saying "Herculeskabuterimon," the battle is over)
Announcer: Soramon is dead!
Tai: Soramon?
Announcer: Yeah, I had a quick chit-chat with the Author. To be honest, the Sora in this fic is a Digimon!
Matt: So where's the real Sora?
Sora: Matt, you were concerned about me?
Matt: AH! Where'd that come from?
(Two arms find their way around Matt's waist)
Tai: HEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Sora is floored in an instant)
Tai: Huh? I didn't do anything. And why the HELL was she hitting on MATT? Well, I wouldn't disagree that ANY girl would go for ya..
Matt: (blushes) Mm... So who did the flooring? It wasn't me.
Izzy: (standing where Sora once stood) Wow, I did that?
Tai: IZZY!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!
Matt: IZZY!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!
Announcer: Okay...
(Everybody, including Joe, Michael and Mimi and excluding poor Sora shout " IZZY!!! WE LOVE YOU!!!!!!")
(It's a human glomp fest for Izzy!)
Izzy: (struggles to move his hand with the piles of people around him glompin' him) Heheh. (Itches his nose)
HerculesKabuterimon: Don't forget about us! KOUSHIROU-HAN!!!!!!!!
(The megas stomp their way to the other Digidestined with open arms ready to glomp Izzy...)
******
End...really? Whoa...
******
End notes: Aie!!!! I'm surprised I ended the fic with an Izzy glomp fest with all that other crap that happened before! O_O! I didn't think it was as in-your-face funny as last time, so I made it a bit longer to satisfy your needs... and if that still didn't do it... I wrote these up in Megchan's Digimon Sekai Ezboard (that place is ADDICTING!), they're certain "jobs" the Digidestined might have when they grow up..
Tai: Music teacher
Matt: Ballet instructor (lol, tights...)
Izzy: Chef
Joe: Mechanic (Hmm... I can see him now..)
Sora: whor- no I didn't say that... (makes mental note that Sora lovers are around) how about a chemist? (Heh, that's what I wrote at the messageboard, but then... heh)
Mimi: Owner of an online monopoly
TK: Fanboy Otaku (pbbbbbbbb)
Kari: Clockmaker (where'd that come from?)
Davis: Gets paid for making stuff outta Legos
Ken: hobo
Yolei: Spelunker (Well, okay, maybe it KINDA fits her...)
Cody: World's tallest basketball player
Willis can turn both of his Digimon into a petting zoo... and different from what I said on the board, but Michael can be a lighthouse operator... I can honestly see him doing that! He could direct all the ships into the mouth of an awaiting Seadramon...
Tai: Starbucks clerk
Matt: Pepsi commercial singer
Koushirou: Operates a Matchmaking machine
Joe: Fat slobby fanboy Otaku (XP Sorry, I couldn't keep that one away from someone)
Sora: Boss of Hong Kong's top Mofia
Mimi: VCR repairman (With DVD's popularity growing, we'll need to keep some of those around ~_^)
TK: Pope
Kari: Boss of the Starbucks Tai works in
Davis: Professional wanted-by-the-police hacker
Ken: Executive of Disney World, whose house is overrun by cats
Yolei: Got turned into a monkey during some DNA testings.
There ya go! Of course the perfect jobs for Tai and Matt are husbands/wives... ~_^ Ah, I feel that quote coming back on again! Here's a variation of it (I've made too many variations...)
Tai: I'm leaving for soccer practice, Yama. Cherry and whipped cream when I get back home, or no fun!
Matt: Cherries? Eck... Then you better let me use the handcuffs!
O_O
Splash
http://www.zyfect.com/users/got taito
Confessions: The return!
By Splash
*******
Notes: It's BAA~AAACK, by popular demand! Same stuff as the last... just more!!!!! *evil grin* Rated R for innuendos (not as many as last time, sorry! Half because I'm more DIRECT this time ~_^) but to make up for that... more craziness, yaoi galore and lots of Sora BASHING, BASHING, BASHING galore! A few more couplings and other weird repititive things are stuck into this one, too ^_^ And as usual.. NA names so the general audience knows who's who, but there are still some Japanese references (if you don't understand any Japanese, it won't ruin ya) ^_^ Also some show spoilers... if you don't know anything about episodes 31-50 about season 02...
*Denotes whispering! ^_^*
*******
Announcer: You know the rules from last time, but this time it's a little different! ALL questions must be answered! And... bitch fighting IS allowed, but I'm refereeing! (smiles) Let's get this show on the road! Not only do we have the 12 Digidestined and their Digimon, but we have some other people, such as Michael and Willis! (to self) This is gonna be fun...
Willis: Uh... I didn't hear the last sentence...
Announcer: Leaving off from what happened ever since the last show.. our official couplings are... Tai and Matt...
Matt: (imitating an osaka accent and making a victory sign) V!!!!
Announcer: Davis and Ken...
Davis: (imitating an osaka accent and making a victory sign) V!!!!
Announcer: And TK and Kari!
TK: (imitating an osaka accent and making a victory sign) V!!!!
Announcer: Even though there are still some nights when TK goes over to Davis and Ken's...
TK: (still with the victory sign) uhh...
Willis: Hold on a moment. Tai and Matt and Davis and Ken are...
Tai: (imitating an osaka accent and making a victory sign) yep!
Announcer: Stop that!
Tai: (pouts)
Matt: Tai's sad... You just crossed the line, Announcer! RARGH! (pounces on Announcer)
Announcer: AH!!!
Michael: Announcer's a girl, right?
Mimi: She is both genders, and yet she is neither.
Izzy: Whoa, Mimi got philosophical!
(Announcer cries out in laughter from Matt's tickling)
Mimi: I've been studying with Michael.
Joe: You...
Michael: But we call her a she, right? So we could just presume that she's female.
Announcer: Ooohoo! Hehehe! Haha! Heheh... hey! Watch where you stick your hands, Matt!
Tai: Matt, get off her!
Matt: She's gonna pay!
Tai: Mm... (thinks frantically) I'm not sad anymore, so stop it before I start getting jealous!
Matt: Eep. (Immediately leaves Announcer alone, a ragged messy glob on the floor)
Izzy: Glob?
Mimi: Announcer is solid, liquid and gas all at the same time!
Izzy: Prodigious..
Announcer: Thanks, Tai, I owe ya!
Tai: The glob's talking to me... uh.. (shakes head) naw, I'm just paying back from the last show. Thanks for setting me and Matt up! (smiles)
Announcer: (forms two eyes to see Tai's smile) That gave me enough momentum! Whazza! (turns back into solid)
Ken: Announcer, I also must thank you... for Davis-
Willis: WHAT? Hey... what's going on here? Why are they thanking Announcer for certain people?
Davis: Shouldn't you know? I mean, us two-
Sora: (yells out) I'm here! Now the show's really starting!
Mimi: Hmm? Sora wasn't here yet? *I didn't notice...*
Sora: Nope! I was out... uh...
Davis: Prostitutin'?
Sora: Unh! Davis!
Biyomon: I'd tell ya, but Sora said to keep it a secret!
Davis: So you WERE out prostitutin'!
Sora: DAVISSSSS... if you don't shut up right now I'll tell Kari some of your dirty secrets...
Davis: (gasp) A...ah..
Sora: Including the one about Willis...
Davis: Oh. That one. I don't care if the whole world knew! (grins sheeplessly) WILLY-CHAN!
Willis: Ah! Davis, not so loud!
Sora: Huh? What's a Willy-chan? Ah, whatever..
Announcer: So where does Willis stand in all of this?
Willis: Uh...
Davis: Willlly....
Willis: (through gritted teeth) *ShutupDavis.*
Davis: But Willisssyy...
Willis: *Shutupshutup!*
Ken: (blinks) what?
Davis: Oh! May I introduce you to Willis, Ken?
Ken: (holds out hand) Yoroshiku.
(Ken and Willis shake)
Davis: He's great to be alone with in the woods.
Willis: (grits teeth harder) *Shutuuuuuuup...*
Terriermon: Could you speak up, Willis? I can't hear you.
Wormmon: With your ears you still have trouble hearing?
Terriermon: Hell ya!
Veemon: You-you-you cussed!
Terriermon: Hell ya!
Hawkmon: Did you catch it from Willis?
Terriermon: Naw, his mom won't let him cuss.
Davis: Momma's boy.
Willis: Hey! (makes fists)
Davis: Sorry, Willy-chan.
Willis: Don't call me that!
Davis: (puts hands behind head) Why not?
Willis: Because... (turns pink) I...
Davis: Hmm? (gives him a smug look)
Willis: Mmm...
Ken: (standing between Davis and a reddening Willis with an innocent look on on his face) What's going on?
Announcer: Wow, Ken is actually clueless about something.
Sora: (Sees Tai and Matt standing together) Heya, boys! (skips up between them and casually slaps her hands on both boys)
(Matt and Tai try to wiggle out, but Sora has miraculously gained super human powers)
Announcer: Wow, you're actually GIVING Sora more power?
(...)
(The author can't answer...)
Announcer: Oh, right, no self-insertions.
Joe: UWAH!
Mimi: Huh? What was that "UWAH!" for, Joe?
(The author thinks Joe looks cute when he's hyper)
Announcer: Uh... (sweatdrops)
Joe: (points to Michael) It's that guy you told me about over the phone!
Mimi: You just realized he was here?
Joe: Mmm..
Michael: Hey, Joe, I've heard a lot about you!
Joe: (cheers up) From Mimi?
Michael: No, from Yolei, but anyhow-
Joe: (falls over) Uwahhh...
Gomamon: What's wrong, Joe? You look kinda disappointed.
Michael: So Mimi, how about that dinner tonight?
Joe: WHAT? DINNER?!?!
Mimi: Yeah, Michael and I are going out.
Joe: But... but Mimi!
Announcer: It seems to me we have some triangles to solve...
Davis: And with Willis in it, our's is more like a rectangle.
Wormmon: Rectangle?
Davis: Oh yeah, Wormmon... that makes it a pentagon!
Yolei: I heard some kids at school talking about love octagons the other day...
--------- After much discussion...----------
Announcer: All right! Let's get to the bitch fighting you've all been waiting for!
Davis: Veemon, armor digivolve to Flamedramon, the fire of courage!
Veemon: Hey, that's my line!
Davis: What do you mean? That was a command! Veemon, armor digivolve to Fla-
Flamedramon: -medramon, the fire of courage. I got ya, I got ya, gese.
(The author totally adores Flamedramon, both Japanese and English versions)
Flamedramon: Aw, shucks... (puts an arm behind his head and blushes)
(Greymon, Garurumon, Kabuterimon, Ikkakumon, Birdramon, Togemon, Gargomon and Seadramon appear)
(Halsemon, Digmon, Pegasusmon and Nefertimon appear)
Wormmon: Damn it, I wish I had an armor digivolution...
Terriermon: Booyah! I'm contagious!
Ken: Don't worry, Wormmon, I love you just as you are. You don't need an armor digivolution. Stingmon's just as great!
Wormmon: (eyes become all sparkly and shaky) KEN-CHAN!!!!!!!! Anything for you!!!! WORMMON DIGIVOLVE TO-
Stingmon: STINGMON! WOOOOOOOSHAAAAAAAAAA!!!! BOOYAH!
Announcer: That'd be really neat if I actually heard that in the Digimon show, Stingmon.
Stingmon: Wouldn't it? Ken-chan loves me just the way I am!
Davis: What about meee?
Ken: (calmly) I love you too, Davis... very much...
Davis: (eyes become all sparkly and shaky) You're buttering me up... WAH!!! (glomps onto Ken)
Stingmon: Um... can we go on?
Ken: Oh, uh, sure thing. Attack, Stingmon!
(Stingmon goes chasing after a flying bunny with gatling guns for arms)
(At this point the reader is supposed to say, " What? Did I miss something?")
Announcer: And what a great question that is! Let's recap on what happened here.. Ken, spotlight's on you.
Ken: It took me quite some time to realize that Willis has been taking my Davis from me.
Willis: WHAT? Davis SEDUCED me! I never-
Ken: YOU TOOK HIM AWAY FROM ME!
Willis: Did not!
Ken: Did too!
Willis: Did not!
Ken: Did too!
(blah blah blah...)
Davis: You guys argue like me and Cody.
Cody: Use proper grammer, Davis... Cody and me!
Davis: Grr, I'm sick of your smart-aleck attitude!
Cody: Well, I'm sick of your arrogance!
Davis: (gets pissed) That's it! Flamedramon, attack Cody!
Digmon: IORI! Kimi wa mamorru da gya!!! (stands in front of Cody)
Flamedramon: Heya, bugger. FIRE ROCKET! (launches fireballs)
Digmon: AIE DA GYA!
Announcer: Uh, yeah... next situation..
Kari: TK YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF -BEEEEEEEEEEP-T!
TK: Kari, please, you don't understand! I-
Kari: YES, I DO -Censored- UNDERSTAND! YOU -Censored--Censored- WITH DAVIS AND KEN AND YOU NEVER -Censored- TOLD ME, YOU -Censored--Censored--Censored--Censored--Censored--
TK: Kari! Please, listen!-
Kari: I OUGHTA-Censored--Censored-YOUR-Censored-HEAD-
TK: Kariiiiiiiiiii!
Kari: FLUSH IT DOWN THE-Censored--Censored--Censored-
Yolei: (popping out from the sidelines and hollering) O.O.C.!!!!!!!!!!!
TK: I give up..
Kari: NEFERTIMON, GO -Censored- HIM UP GOOD!
TK: (eyes pop) That gave me a really weird picture in my mind... WHOA!
(TK dodges a Rosetta Stone)
Yolei: (popping out again) You know, if it weren't for Digimon attacks, that would sound REALLY weird right now...
(Yeah, having a Rosetta Stone chucked at you is one thing...)
Pegasusmon: TK! On my back, quick!
(TK gets onto Pegasusmon's back and they fly away, Kari and Nefertimon following closely behind)
Announcer: (nods head) Mmhmm, mmhmm. And now we move on to Mimi, Joe and Michael, who have some problems of their own!
Joe: UWAH! (flings arms around aimlessly) IKKAKUMON, ATTACKKKKKK!!!
Ikkakumon: Harpoon Torpedo!
Michael: Come on, Seadramon, fight back!
Seadramon: Right! (launches ice from mouth) Seadramon's-attack-that-the-good-for-nothing-author-forgot!
Mimi: Tch, tch, bad author. Don't even remember Seadramon's attack.
Author: WAHHHHHHHH! Oh-uh-shouldn't be here-uh-bye!
Announcer: Mm? Sorry, I kinda dozed off. Well, it's pretty apparent about what's going on over there... apparently Mimi's neutral...
NOVA BLAST!
HOWLING BLASTER!
Sora: Hey, two against one's not fair!!!!
Birdramon: (dodges attacks) Birdramon digivolve to...
Garudamon: You know my name, so... WING BLADE!
Tai: Heh. I think I'll just sit back and watch the works.
(Greymon and Garurumon digivolve to Metalgreymon and Metal-er-Weregarurumon)
Matt: Hey, it'd be cooler if we had both metals at the same time, though (smiles).
Metalgreymon: Giga blaster!
Weregarurumon: Wolf claw!
Sora: No! I refuse to fight this way! I know! (grabs Yolei) Make Halsemon fight!
Yolei: (freaked out by Sora's freaky face) O-o-okay... he's only an armor, though...
Sora: I don't care! FIGHT!
Announcer: So Halsemon joins the fight... dodoledo..
(A bunny with pants on flies by)
Willis: Grr... author, can't you just call him Gargomon?- Hey, watch out behind you!
(Rambo bunny dodges a Spiking Finish from Stingmon)
Flamedramon: Waaazaa! (Fire Rockets into Digmon, making him dedigivolve back to Armadillomon)
Cody: No! We'll go for Submarimon!
(Armadillomon digivolves to Submarimon, the guardian of the sea! ^_^)
Flamedramon: Waaazaa! (Fire Rockets into Submarimon, making him dedigivolve back to Armadillomon)
Cody: Hey, no fair! He should've had an advantage!
Davis: But there's no water around. (crosses his arms and playfully sticks out tongue)
Armadillomon: In that case... Armadillomon digivolve to...
Ankylomon: DA GYA!!!! (chases after Flamedramon, who dedigivolves)
Veemon: Aie! There's a scary dinosaur running after me!!!! (Digivolves to Raidramon)
Announcer: (whirls in eyes) Too many digivolutions...
ROSETTA STONE!
Pegasusmon: Whoa, that was close! Nefertimon, it's me, Pegasusmon! Why are you doing this?
Nefertimon: Because you're Pegasusmon! Now turn into Angemon before I really whoop your shiny Ass's ass!
Pegasusmon: Ass? Oh... uh... (dedigivolves to Patamon)
TK: AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Patamon!!!!!!!!!
Patamon: (falling) TK, you got pretty heavy over the few years!
TK: No, really?!?!?!?! YOU IDIOT!
(Patamon digivolves to Angemon right before impact with the ground)
TK: (sigh) Relief... don't do that again! Now let's beat up that woman!
Angemon: I thought you were trying to be passive about all this?
TK: Not anymore! Digivolve again!
(Angemon digivolves to MagnaAngemon)
Nefertimon: Wait, let me join you, my love!
(O_O)
(Blah blah... Nefertimon does the necessary changes to become Angewomon)
VULCAN'S HAMMER!
FLOWER CANNON!
Announcer: Huh? Oh... Zudomon's attacking Seadramon but Lillymon stepped in to protect Seadramon... Huh?
Joe: Mimi! Why are you doing this? I... I...
Mimi: I'm sorry, Joe, but you have to understand that I live in America now! A relationship between us could never happen unless you moved there, too! And you seemed too tied up in your studies..
Michael: In other words, it's all your fault, Joe.
Joe: Michael! RARGE! (Tackles Michael to the ground)
Announcer: Finally, some human contact!
Mimi: Eh... (eyes boggle) That's the part I always hate about physical fighting...
Tai: (hears Mimi and smiles) Well, I kinda like it...
Matt: (nods) I know what you mean...
Sora: Hey, guys... you know, we don't HAVE to fight using the Digimon-
Tai: NO.
Matt: NO.
Sora: But it'd be a lot-
Tai: METALGREYMON!
Matt: WEREGARURUMON!
(Metalgreymon and Weregarurumon come up and kick Sora)
(But Sora amazingly is rooted to the ground with her supernatural powers)
Announcer: Author, you're doing it again!
(whoa... O_O)
(Halsemon dedigivolves to Hawkmon and then to Shurimon)
Shurimon: From griffin to ninja! HA! (throws shurikens at Weregarurumon, who punches them away easily) Uh... (sweatdrops)
Weregarurumon: Garuru kick!
(Shurimon's down in an instant!)
Yolei: See, Sora? I told you armor digivolutions weren't that great...
Sora: (grabs Yolei by the collar) Then digivolve NORMALLY, you idiot!
Yolei: Yes'm.
Hawkmon: All right, then... Hawkmon digivolve to...
Aquillamon: AQUILLAMON!
(Spotlight appears on Aquillamon and everything else is blacked out)
Aquillamon: (showing off his stuff, pointing his wings to his head) I'm HORNYYYYYYY!
Yolei: (gawks) Aquillamon, have you no sense of humanity?
Aquillamon: (stoic voice) Oh, the HUMANITY! Wait, I only said that when I was Halsemon...
(spotlight goes away to reveal...
A dog thing running away from a giant yellow dinosaur while a munchkin and a guy in goggles follow closely behind...
The giant bug and flying bunny with gatling guns and pants duking it out...
Joe straddling Michael in a very promising position... and Mimi's just standing there...
Metalgreymon and Weregarurumon sharing champagne over Garudamon's corpse...
MagnaAngemon and Angewomon... uh...)
TK: Making out on the floor? Or should I say midair? O_o;
Kari: For all to see...It's pretty loud with all this fighting. You know, TK, I think it's important for your manhood to have some nice horny butt sex with other guys once in a while. You know, to relieve tension? I mean, condoms must be quite a restrain for you.
(all other sounds stop)
(...)
(...)
Yolei: (stepping in from the sides) O.O.C.!!!!!!
Willis: God, are ALL you Japanese Digidestined like this?!?!
Davis: Kari, I knew you had it in ya! (makes fist in triumph)
(Heh, told ya I was gonna be more direct XP)
Kari: I am merely TK's soul partner, I have no right to interfere with his complicated sex life...
(...)
Yolei: Uh... Out... of... character...
Announcer: (ahem) Are we gonna continue bitchfighting or not?
Everyone: Oh, that's right!
TK: (while his face is going through the whole color spectrum) I think Kari and I are finished...
Raidramon: BLUE THUNDER!
Cody: No! Ankylomon!
Davis: I'm gonna hurry this battle up... Raidramon, switch to XVeemon!
(And he does that :P)
Davis: Ken, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Ken: Yep! Now we prove our bondage! DAISUKE!!!!!!!!!! (glomps onto Davis girl-bawling)
(And thus the miracle of the DNA Digivolution of XVeemon and Stingmon combined is formed... PAILDRAMON!)
Announcer: Woohoo! More gatlin' guns!! (Osaka accent) V!
Gargomon: Grr... well, feel the wrath of MY gatling guns! (shoots everywhere, causing innocents to go around in panic)
Willis: Ahh!! Stop shooting so much!
(Gargomon's guns suddenly slow down, smoking at the ends)
Gargomon: Uh, is it possible to run out of bullets?
Willis: If you've run out of energy...
Gargomon: Oh.. WAHHHHHHHHHHH! (dedigivolves to Terriermon)
Terriermon: I tried...
Davis: Yeehee! We won that match! So fess up, Willis! Tell the REAL truth!
Willis: I WAS telling the truth! You seduced me into doing that... that...
Cody: TK! GET ANGEMON OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!
TK: (sunbathing with no sun with Kari) Huh? Okay... Magnamon, I think you better stop now...
MagnaAngemon: Magnamon? I'm an Angel, not a pile of scrap metal.
Paildramon: HEY! Are you calling my golden digivolution a-
MagnaAngemon: Something tells me this is gonna become personal... (dedigivolves to Patamon then digivolves to Angemon, then DNA digivolves with Ankylomon-)
Announcer: AH!! SPOILER BARRIER! SPOILER BARRIER!!!
Shakkoumon: Well, in time this won't be a spoiler anymore...
Announcer: (looks at Shakkoumon) Whoa... that huge metal teapot thing is Ankylomon's and Angemon's DNA digivolution? *Hypocrite Angemon...*
Paildramon: Take back that comment about Magnamon!
Shakkoumon: NEVAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Paildramon: HISSSSS!
Shakkoumon: Reeoar!!!
Davis: (scratching cheek with one finger) That's kinda funny watching them make those cat fighting noises...
Ken: No fair, I should be the one scratching that cheek...
Angewomon: Aquillamon, shall we DNA Digivolve as well?
Aquillamon: Why not? Angemon's not around...
Angewomon: All right, then! (dedigivolves to Gatomon) Ready when you are!
(Gatomon and Aquillamon digivolve together into Sylphimon!)
Hikari: Ah, I see. Aquillamon and Gatomon think DNA Digivolving together is like joining as one being... which is like sex!
(silence)
(...)
TK: ...Kari...?
Kari: Well, neither of them really have a reason to fight, so perhaps they digivolved together just for the sensation of-
TK: Kari, PLEASE!!!!
Sora: Sylphimon sure as HELL has a reason to fight! Come on!
Sylphimon: (glares at Sora) And if we don't want to?
Sora: Then I'll MAKE you fight! (literally chucks Sylphimon at Metalgreymon, who falls back from the powerful impact and smushes Weregarurumon with his ass)
(Fortunately they dedigivolve back to Agumon and Gabumon quickly enough before anything else happens...)
(Sylphimon is out cold)
Sora: Aw... no more Digimon! I guess I'll fight myself! WARGH! (pumps up)
Matt: You scared?
Tai: No, are you?
Matt: No, but I think I'll just hang onto you...
(they hold hands... does this sound familiar or is it just me? O_o)
Tai: But this time we don't need to get SHOT!
Matt: -By arrows, that is..
(Agumon and Gabumon warp digivolve to Wargreymon and Metalgarurumon)
(A big giant hunk of tin can goes flying by)
Ken: That's certainly random. Oh wait, that's Shakkoumon.
Davis: Paildramon wins!!!
Cody: Shakkoumon!
TK: Shakkoumon!
(They run after their flying giant tin can)
Michael: YOU WHORE!
Joe: YOU PROSTITUTE!
Davis: Are you guys talking about Sora?
Sora: Hey what? (wrestling off Wargreymon and Metalgarurumon at the same time)
Mimi: Joe, if it'll make it up to you, I'll be in America for a while...
Michael: But Mimi!
Announcer: (pats mouth with palm) Ahh, that'll be the end of my life listening to those two boys...
Tai: My gosh, I didn't expect Sora to be so strong...
Matt: I thought this was a Sora BASHING fic?
(Oh, that's true, isn't it? Hey, that just made me realize something...)
Announcer: Author, you're doing self-insertions... but since it's not direct, I'll allow it. Now WHAT DID YOU REALIZE?
(Where is he?)
TK: Izzy? No, we're looking for Ken-
Cody: Wrong script, TK.
TK: Huh? Oh...
(But he's right... IZZY! How could we forget him?)
(And all this time Izzy has been sitting in the corner with Tentomon, both seem to be lost in the laptop in Izzy's lap)
Davis: The laptop's in his lap... wow! It's in his lap! That's why it's called a laptop! Wow!-
Ken: (hammers Davis) Baka.
Tai: Hey, Izzy, we could use some help!
Izzy: Huh? Oh... Tentomon?
Tentomon: Hainya, Koushirou-han! (digivolves to Kabuterimon and then Megakabuterimon and then Herculeskabuterimon)
Matt: Huh? Since when could he-
Izzy: I found a program online that let me get Kabuterimon to mega digivolve just for this fic!
Tai: Kewl! (flashes Izzy a thumbs up)
Matt: You gonna flash him more than that, Tai?
Tai: Uh..
Matt: Anyhow, we got 3 megas to go against one Sora!
(Herculeskabuterimon fulls out attacks Sora)
(Sora picks up Shakkoumon)
Sora: I have a giant tin can and I know how to USE it!
Herculeskabuterimon: Ah!
(Sora shoots three somethings out of Shakkoumon, one aimed at each of the megas)
Tai: Wargreymon!
Matt: Metalgarurumon!
Izzy: Herculeskabuterimon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(By the time Izzy finishes saying "Herculeskabuterimon," the battle is over)
Announcer: Soramon is dead!
Tai: Soramon?
Announcer: Yeah, I had a quick chit-chat with the Author. To be honest, the Sora in this fic is a Digimon!
Matt: So where's the real Sora?
Sora: Matt, you were concerned about me?
Matt: AH! Where'd that come from?
(Two arms find their way around Matt's waist)
Tai: HEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Sora is floored in an instant)
Tai: Huh? I didn't do anything. And why the HELL was she hitting on MATT? Well, I wouldn't disagree that ANY girl would go for ya..
Matt: (blushes) Mm... So who did the flooring? It wasn't me.
Izzy: (standing where Sora once stood) Wow, I did that?
Tai: IZZY!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!
Matt: IZZY!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!
Announcer: Okay...
(Everybody, including Joe, Michael and Mimi and excluding poor Sora shout " IZZY!!! WE LOVE YOU!!!!!!")
(It's a human glomp fest for Izzy!)
Izzy: (struggles to move his hand with the piles of people around him glompin' him) Heheh. (Itches his nose)
HerculesKabuterimon: Don't forget about us! KOUSHIROU-HAN!!!!!!!!
(The megas stomp their way to the other Digidestined with open arms ready to glomp Izzy...)
******
End...really? Whoa...
******
End notes: Aie!!!! I'm surprised I ended the fic with an Izzy glomp fest with all that other crap that happened before! O_O! I didn't think it was as in-your-face funny as last time, so I made it a bit longer to satisfy your needs... and if that still didn't do it... I wrote these up in Megchan's Digimon Sekai Ezboard (that place is ADDICTING!), they're certain "jobs" the Digidestined might have when they grow up..
Tai: Music teacher
Matt: Ballet instructor (lol, tights...)
Izzy: Chef
Joe: Mechanic (Hmm... I can see him now..)
Sora: whor- no I didn't say that... (makes mental note that Sora lovers are around) how about a chemist? (Heh, that's what I wrote at the messageboard, but then... heh)
Mimi: Owner of an online monopoly
TK: Fanboy Otaku (pbbbbbbbb)
Kari: Clockmaker (where'd that come from?)
Davis: Gets paid for making stuff outta Legos
Ken: hobo
Yolei: Spelunker (Well, okay, maybe it KINDA fits her...)
Cody: World's tallest basketball player
Willis can turn both of his Digimon into a petting zoo... and different from what I said on the board, but Michael can be a lighthouse operator... I can honestly see him doing that! He could direct all the ships into the mouth of an awaiting Seadramon...
Tai: Starbucks clerk
Matt: Pepsi commercial singer
Koushirou: Operates a Matchmaking machine
Joe: Fat slobby fanboy Otaku (XP Sorry, I couldn't keep that one away from someone)
Sora: Boss of Hong Kong's top Mofia
Mimi: VCR repairman (With DVD's popularity growing, we'll need to keep some of those around ~_^)
TK: Pope
Kari: Boss of the Starbucks Tai works in
Davis: Professional wanted-by-the-police hacker
Ken: Executive of Disney World, whose house is overrun by cats
Yolei: Got turned into a monkey during some DNA testings.
There ya go! Of course the perfect jobs for Tai and Matt are husbands/wives... ~_^ Ah, I feel that quote coming back on again! Here's a variation of it (I've made too many variations...)
Tai: I'm leaving for soccer practice, Yama. Cherry and whipped cream when I get back home, or no fun!
Matt: Cherries? Eck... Then you better let me use the handcuffs!
O_O
Splash
http://www.zyfect.com/users/got taito