Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ Digimon High ❯ Whoops...the school's play in a diaster zone... ( Chapter 5 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

In the staff room...

Sora: No one is going to go out of their mind to pay for $150 to see a play...

Cody: But Cats is a very good play by Andrew...

Sora: This is not Cats you're staging, but a 5 hour school play. $150 isn't going to be
enough since you barred parents and friends from attending...

Cody: I had to sell my car and flat to cover the costs of the play...

Sora: Well, I want you to slash those prices...

Sora leaves and Matt enters the room holding his wallet...

Matt: Here's $150 for a ticket to your play...*Hands Cody the money*

Cody: There's a booking fee of $30 before 10 months.

Matt: Sure.*gives cody $30* I would like to see that play of yours because your last one was
crap. I would suggest to you...to do a musical version of Grease...

Cody: I thought they already did one?

Matt: I was thinking about Grease 2...

*

Digimon High: Episode 5: Whoops...the school's play in a diaster zone...

Staring:
Sora as the Ruthless and Ambitious "Vice" Principal cause Mr.Fujiyama's permanently on leave
Matt as the Carefree, Honest and Freely offered Teacher that is a Music/Computers Teacher
Tai as the Sports Teacher that really wants Sora, a lot
Cody as the Drama Teacher that seems to be diffrent and more weird and artistic
Kari as the Libarian that is sometimes a Teacher...most of the time
Yolei as the Polotics Teacher that wants's Romance
TK as the English/Literature Teacher that thinks he's cool
Joe as the Science/Math's teacher that's a spanker boy
Izzy as the Mute Maintanence man that is always silent

And...
Ken Ichijoji

By PikaFlash Tai

Disclaimers: All characters, cast, crew and any ideas in this fic belong to their
respective owners...this fic is inspired by the new Australian comedy, Sit down Shut up...

Summary: Cody starts to suffer a mental breakdown because of the pressures of the school play,
so Sora placed Matt and Tai in charge of the play...bad move, as Matt and Tai rewrote the
script all in one day...and also, Yolei is being stalked, TK's teaching Digimon Drivers
Education with Izzy's Lawnmower and Kari only has a 5 minute romance with Cody...

*

Staff Room, meeting...Sora, Yolei, Kari, Joe, Tai, Matt and Cody were at the table...

Sora: Yesterday's theme was on "Consumerism", today's theme is the "School's Enormous
Financial Cutbacks...Yolei.

Yolei: Ok, Matt, you will not be getting any new monitors for the computer classes...

Matt: Well, who cares, the monitor is just there to be a model of a computer...

Yolei: Tai, you won't recieve any new sporting equiptment this year...

Tai: Well, the students are tired of pole vaulting without a mattress, I mean, from that
height, the students landing on the grass will feel like landing on concrete.

Yolei: And Joe, you won't recieve any of the new Science upgrades for this decade.

Joe: Well, we had to sell the science refrigerator. We were thinking of making ice as an
experiment. But I guess boiling water is the closest thing.

Kari: When will I recieve my full-time Libary assistant, Sora?

Sora: Well, what's wrong with the assistants? Well, your foul temper and territorial
instincts scared them away...

Kari: You have been giving halfwit after halfwit and the last 2 were illiterate. And that's
the irony of having an illiterate libarian.

Matt: Well, I used to be an Irony champion when I was a kid.

Cody: I guess there are no cut backs in the drama department?

Sora: Who would forget that? Well, first, the school play will move from the school hall to
the drama room...

Cody: Why?

Sora: Well, with the school hall in need of repairs and the roof is needed to be removed and
a new one to be put in...

Cody: But there's no time, this play took me 5 years to write it. There's no time, the
curtains will go up in 10 months time...

Sora: And the play will be placed tomorrow...

In the field...

Yolei was in the field holding a cup of coffee...and she threw back a ball to a student...and
a guy wearing a pair of purple goggles was watching her...

Guy: Yeah, throw that ball, like the way you threw away out love...

Yolei waves to the student goodbye...

Guy: Yeah, say goodbye to your students like you said goodbye to me on our last date...

Yolei sips her coffee...

Guy: Yeah, sip your coffee, like you sipped away our relationship and go to students...go on,
sip.

Yolei walks back to the school...

Sora's office...

Cody was at the desk...

Cody: I can't do it. There's no way I can do it. I need time to reherse Anton's speech in the
ballroom scene...

Sora: This isn't a school play you're producing, you're just using it as a Star Vehicle for
you.

Cody: That's...insulting. You're just jealous because I placed myself in the lead role of
Anton.

TK enters the office...

TK: Sorry to barge in like this Boss...

Sora: TK, why aren't you teaching Driver's Ed?

TK: Oh, Driver's Ed, thanks boss...*Then as TK was about to leave, he turned around* Well,
this is about Driver's Ed. The car's been stolen.

Sora: Didn't you lock the car?

TK: Well, I don't usually comb my hair 58 times a day and know which way I put my jocks on,
Jesus Christ.

Sora: Well, this is coming out of your pay...and maybe Kari's pay too, so you'll have to use
another's staff member's car...

TK: There wern't any in the car park...

Sora: What? You mean to say that none of the other teachers drove a car to school?

TK: I rode my bike.

Cody: I came by Cab.

Sora: I rode a Devidramon.

TK's Driver's Education class...

TK: Ok, kids, today for Driver's Ed, everything's all normal except that we're not using a
car...

As TK and the Digimon students walk to the car park, Izzy was on his Lawnmower...as TK
gives the thumbs up, Izzy replies with a thumbs up as he starts his lawnmower...

Izzy drove around a few witch's hats and then turn around a pole and then he grabbed a sword
from the grass and as he droves pass a sandbag, he stabs the sandbag with the sword...

TK and the Digimon clapped as Izzy finishes the demonstration...and then Izzy pulls the
Gomamon of the group and put him on the lawnmower...

In Sora's office, Cody was wearing a blanket...

Joe: While I was in the hallway, I noticed Cody outside the classroom in a fetal position.
But after half an hour, he was still in the fetal position...

Sora: And what is this about?

Joe: I still haven't noticed the fetal position even though I have been in one most of the
time. The only time I wasn't in the fetal position is when I was in the womb, standing
straight up...

Cody: Sora, the play cannot go on...

Sora: Well, it is by law that every school must produce some kind of long winded play.
I knew this was going to happen so I had someone ready to take over the play from you...

Cody *Stands up*: Who? Who dares to take control of my play?

Matt enters the office...

Matt: Got the script, Sora? *picks up the script* Let's take a look...what a pissy opening...
you should remove some words like blackheads off a nose...

Cody: Don't change anything or else the play will fall like a pack of cards...

Matt: Ok, but this is one irony, I mean I never even directed a play and I just took over one
who directed one since he was 3...

Cody: This man here does not have any experience in directing plays...

Sora: You're quite right, so, he's going to have an assistant...

Tai enters the room...

Tai: Got the script?

Matt: Yep...

Tai *reads the script*: What a pissy opening...

As Tai and Matt left the room, Cody layed on the table doing the fetal position...

Joe: Look! Fetal position...

In Kari's Libary...

Kari: No, I will not have any short men on the point of breakdown as my assisant...

Sora: He is helpful...

Cody drops some books...

Sora: Well, he is literate.

Kari: He better be.

Drama Classroom...

Matt and Tai were reading the script and Matt tears a part out...

Matt: Ok, now, to give a head start, let's see your opening positions...and Action...

The Digimons on stages does poses and the Demidevimon on the right took 2 steps forward and
puts his wing out...

Matt: CUT! That's filthy! It's not your fault you are innocent victims of this play. And you,
the Demidevimon, why did you take 2 steps forward? That's it, you're out of the play!!!

As the Demidevimon left the drama space...

Matt: He just made a meal out of a light snack...

Hallway...

Joe was with Yolei...

Yolei: I heard from the students that Cody's having a nervous breakdown

Joe: I wonder how these students get the news, but they're right...Cody is suffering from
a Nervous breakdown...

Then Yolei saw the same guy as TK just entered the hallway...

Yolei: TK, did you see any man with goggles?

TK: Well, I did see some. I think they might be some Solid Snake wannabes...

Yolei: I mean the one with purple hair...

TK: Oh...well, I did see him...so I went up to him and said, "What do you think you're doing?"

Yolei: And?

TK: He said that he was loitering around unlawfully and has an extensive criminal record so
I left him alone...

The Next Day, at the Libary...Cody was licking empty envelopes and Kari was at the computer
and she sees Cody...

Kari: Cody, those envelopes are empty...

Cody *stops licking the envelopes*: I don't know why Sora took my play away from me?

Kari: I understan what you mean, I have felt the touch of Sora's cold fingers...I got a close
look at them and there's no blood...look, Cody, I don't normally give advice or help people
with their personal problems...

Kari walks to the Libary Store room...

In the Drama Class...

Matt: Ok, this play is no longer in the 16th century Russia but in the time of Bethlehem to
1978 New York...and instead of the Cossacks, you're sheperds taking care of sheep from
Bethlehem to New York and we have gotten rid of Anton's crappy speeach...now let's have a
vocal warm up...

Matt makes a high scream...

Sora's office...

Yolei: Aren't you going to call the police to get rid of him?

Sora: Well, he hasn't harrassed anyone, stolen anything or littered...

Yolei: What am I suppose to do? Wait until he attacks someone?

Sora: You're answering your own question...

TK enters the office

TK: Sorry to barge in like this boss, do you have a coat hanger? Izzy clogged the keys in the
Lawnmower...

Yolei: TK, is that man still out there?

TK: You mean Ken?

Joe: That's it, I can't take it anymore, I'm going out there to make him go away, come on, TK.

In the Field...Izzy was cleaning up from another Driver's Ed...then he saw Ken and waved to
him...

Ken's jaw dropped...then as Izzy stops waving, Joe and TK steps in front of Ken...

Joe: You must be Ken, you see I was in the staff room getting some ideas to tell you to
please go away...

Ken: What are you going to do? Go back and get more idea...

Joe: Don't push me, Ken, I'm holding a beaker of freshly boiled water...

Joe's gloved hand was holding a beaker of boiled water...

Joe: ...don't make me throw it at you...

Ken: I have been watching you spanker boy, and knowing you, you don't have the balls to throw
that thing...

Joe: You're quite right... *Joe walks off*

Then TK steps into Joe's place...

TK: I don't want to hurt you Ken, you're a strong looking man..in fact, very strong, where
have you been working out?

Back in the Drama room...

Matt: Ok, let's listen to Mr. Yagami on the strategy...

Tai: Ok. *shows the whiteboard with the strategy with Hawkmon, Patamon, Gatomon and
Armadillomon in reserves* Veemon, (Matt's stick points out Veemon's name and 2 words saying
props) stay behind the props and use them well. Biyomon and Palmon (Matt's stick pointing to
Biyomon and Palmon's names), do what ever you can for your positions and if Veemon gets into
trouble, you might as bloody well help him out!!! And I want more talk (Matt points out the
word More Talk underlined), you're given a script, then bloody use it!!! And the most
important thing...the most important thing is that the really bloody thing that bounces is
to get to the BLOODY BALL!!!! (Matt points out the word The Ball underlined with his horsewhip)

In the Libary...

Kari just got out of the Store room and Cody was dusting the wall...

Kari: There's nothing else for you to do, you can go now...

Cody: If you don't mind, I want to stay for your company.

Kari: This is the first time anyone asked me ...but this is also the first time someone as
short as you decided to ask me for my company. *Kari takes out 2 glasses of wine* So, where
do you live?

Cody: *holds glass* Well, I don't have any fixed address of sexuality...

In the Drama Room, parents and students entered the room and got to their seats as Matt was in
front of the stage with Tai...

Matt *to Tai*: At least we have gotten rid of Anton's crappy speech and drop the opening from
2 hours to 30 minutes.

Matt walks to the center of the stage...

Matt: Now, with the change of title, the play, "De Destruction of Comrade Anton" is now
called, "Mackers Macklakers".

As the curtain opens up, Patamon and Gatomon were dressed like the 70's dancing to the 70's
music...

Intermission...

TK just walk towards Yolei...

Yolei: Did you get rid of that guy?

TK: Well, no, but the rest went as planned...

In the Libary...

Kari: You really are diffrent when you don't think of your play...

Cody: The play...in my mind, I think of the second half, the ballroom scene...

As Cody was about to leave...

Kari: What about our talk?

Cody: What talk?

Kari: I guess it's over. But it's been a great 5 minutes...

Cody: I know, I never had this much fun...

Kari: Kari...

Cody: Kari...

Kari: Now go, go to your play...

Cody leaves...

Back at the play...

Veemon, Biyomon and Palmon were on the stage with Ken wearing a purple cape...

Ken: GO AWAY!!! GO AWAY!!! *pushes the Digimon away* I want to know where's Yolei Inoue?

The audience gasped...

Joe: I'll go and take care of him...

Ken grabs Joe...

Ken: Ah-ha! Spanker boy. Now I want unless you want Spanker boy to get it...

Sora *to Yolei*: If you don't want to go up there, I'll understand.

Joe: *pathetic voice* Help.

Yolei: *gets up* I'm Yolei and who are you?

Ken removes his goggles...

Yolei: I still don't know who you are.

Ken: It's me, Yolei, your ex-lover, Ken Ichijoji.

Yolei: Ken, what makes you think I would reconise you when you would remove your goggles?
I thought you wore spikey hair and the purple goggles...

Joe: Yeah, why?

Ken: Oh, so you think you're some type of goggles expert, Spanker boy...

Joe: Yeah, and it pays well too...

Ken: You're coming with me, Spanker boy...

Joe: Just remember that I'm quite annoying...

Then, Cody pushes the window prop opened...

Cody: Stop! Your eyes does not decieve you, It is I, Anton. The last I saw you, you were short.
And look at you now, half an inch taller and more unpopular...erm...line?

Tai *reading script*: "Like a goat releases milk."

Cody: Like a goat releases milk, I call on you to release yur captive...line?

Tai *reading script*: "Like a goat releases milk."

Cody: ...and like a goat releases milk.

Ken: Of course. Why am I here with you...freaks?! *To Cody* But thank you, Anton, thank you
for all you have done...

Then as Ken left, the audience cheered...

Cody gave a few thankful kiss onto Yolei and Sora's cheeks...and then people are asking for
Cody's Autographs...

Matt: Now that's strange...first he suffers a mental breakdown and now he's back up on
stage...

TK: Yeah, how ironic?

Matt: What was that?

TK: It's an irony...

Matt: Geez, you're right...and a fat one too...that means the party's all over...*Matt
removes his shirt and takes off a T-shirt saying "Under 18's Irony Champion, 1999." and he
walks away*

TK: I feel bad for him taking off his T-shirt...

Tai walks next to TK...

Tai: I don't. You shoud see his Irony Jocks...

Outside the school, Izzy sees Ken walking by...and Izzy salutes to Ken, but Ken just walk pass
him with a strange look...then Izzy was angry and takes his sword out of the sandbag...

Then as Ken was walking near the exit at the bottom of the hill, the sandbag lands on
Ken...and on the top of the hill, Izzy gives a salute to Ken...then Izzy turned around and
sees Sora riding on her Devidramon home, saluting to Izzy...