Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ Digimon High ❯ Radio Cowboys, Mobile Phones and Lickin' the Lava... ( Chapter 11 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Joe was walking past Matt and TK as they were sitting in the staff room with some scripts...

Matt: So, all I was saying its all in here. What do you think?

TK: Huh? What? Sorry Matt, were you talking to me just then?

Matt: Joe is restarting the School's lunchtime radio station and I need you because you are
the only one I know who is experienced in this kind of work and women.

TK: I don't know. I mean the last time I was working in RICKY FM, I got scared of the other
Radio DJs that I lowered my voice.

Matt: Look, I got this box filled with an absurd amount of money and I'm giving it to you.
*Matt takes out a box filled with Greenbacks* The box, not the cash.

TK: Look, I'm not even sure that I could trust you. For some reason, you could be a radio
cowboy. Why not we give away free showbags and strickers to the students.

Matt: Ok, why not we ask the students to ring in and tell us their names in 25 or less words?

TK thought for a while...

TK: Come to papa. *takes the script*

*

Digimon High Episode 12: Radio Cowboys, Mobile Phones and Lickin' the Lava...

Staring:
Sora as Sora Takenouchi, the Vice Principal
Matt as Yamato Ishida, the Computer/Music Teacher
Tai as Taichi Yagami, the Sports Teacher
Cody as Cody Iori Hida, the Drama/Creative arts Teacher
Kari as Kari Yagami, the Librarian/Casual Teacher
Yolei as Yolei Inoue, the Politics Teacher
TK as TK Takaishi, the English Teacher
Joe as Joe Kido, the Science/Maths Teacher
Izzy as Izzy, the Maintanence Man

By PikaFlash Tai

Disclaimers: All characters, cast, crew and any ideas in this fic belong to their
respective owners...this fic is inspired by the new Australian comedy, Sit down Shut up...

Summary: Joe restarts the school's lunchtime radio station and he competes with Matt and TK
for ratings. Meanwhile, Sora sends Tai's Grade 12 tennis team on an excursion, only to
replace them with Cody's Grade 10 Modern dance group and she signs a deal with a mobile phone
company whose mobile phones exceeded 10 times the legal limit of normal mobile phones, even
when they're switched off.

*

Kari was walking down the stairs, only to meet Joe...

Joe: Kari, I was thinking of restarting the school's radio station and if you could turn back
the clock, I need you to be my radio partner. A recent survey shows that 1 in 10 students in
this school know our names and the school's lunchtime radio can boost our profiles.

Kari: Well, I think being popular is better than being stupid. Ok, Joe. But I won't forget the
last time we were in the radio booth, you dirty, grubby science barf.

Joe: As I recalled, you were the one who made a sexual gesture on me. You put your hand on my
thigh and I removed it.

Kari: I can still feel your cold, grubby fingers.

In the staff meeting...TK was staring at Yolei's papers

TK: So, Yolei, what are you doing?

Yolei: Oh, I'm writing speeches for my Grade 12s for the debate against Odaiba High School
with us hosting. The topic is "Old people will eventually die."

TK: Well, I do know a few old people who are alive and in fact, some that are already dead.

Tai: Well, Yolei isn't the only one with students in the finals against Odaiba. My Grade 12
Tennis team are in the finals against the same school.

Matt: Well TK and I are commentating on the match.

Yolei: Do you have any chance to commentate our debate?

Matt: Well, its just like commentating on someone yawning!

Tai and Matt laughed...

Matt: Now, yawning and tennis, now those are two perfect strangers.

Sora enters the staff room carrying a box of mobile phones...

Sora: I've just signed a sponsorship on the financial sercurity of this school.

Tai: Oh, sponsorship. Who's dishing out the cash? Hey, not Big Digie from Big Digie's Port
hole. Those things he has aren't good.

Sora: No, I signed a deal with Zenith phone company.

Yolei: Aren't those phones emits 10 times the legal limit of radiation, even when its not
switched on?

Sora: The cancer scare is not proven, so its safe and we can have the students use the phones
with a minimum of 10 per day.

Matt: Maybe we should get opinions from the little bastards. What do you think, TK?

TK: Nah, I wasn't listening. I was thinking of Big Digie's Port hole. When I was 14, I once
met a girl there with the same age. Yeah, I was trying to hit on her mother.

In the radio booth...

TK: Matt, I have mentally structured the intro of the new show and it feels good over here.
And in bed.

In Sora's office...Tai enters the office with Cody sitting on a chair...

Tai: Hurry up, I've got Tennis coaching to do.

Sora: This involves the tennis team. I have sent the Grade 12s to the Highton View Moth
enclosure.

Tai: Not Veemon.

Sora: Yep. And Agumon, Gabumon and the Roachomon brothers.

Tai: That's my whole Leftie-backhand team. Is there any replacement?

Sora: No. But Cody did agree in sending his Grade 10 modern dance class to replace them.

Tai: You're cracking me on.

Sora shakes her head slowly...

Tai: WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSE TO DO WITH HIS DANCE CLASS AND WHAT THE BLOODY HELL DOES CODY
KNOW ABOUT TENNIS?! Nothing!

Sora: A good coach should know how to mould any group of players, Tai.

Tai: Well, I hope they hit the ball over the net into the court, not the racket.

Cody: Yeah, that could be a problem, once they start, its hard to stop them.

At the radio console...

TK: This is the actual, factual, supernatural big daddy TK and brother Matt calling from the
studio live, and the mercuty is nudging my thigh with the new local group 'Lick the Lava'
with their hit single, "Lickin' the Lava", and if any of you Digimons have mobile phones
*Gomamon and Biyomon were listening and Gabumon and Palmon presses some numbers for their
mobile phones*, call us at the Studio for any reasonable topic. *Matt presses a phone* You're
on.

*Veemon: Hey, big daddy TK, this is Veemon, what is your stats on littering?*

TK: Well, Veemon, I think littering should be decriminalised and...

Matt: Now, we will play Tai and my new song, "Lickin' the Lava." *Plays the song*

TK: Well, that was fun. what do you think, Matt?

Matt: Well, I thought you were nervous and I hope my voice will being it back for more.

In Cody's Modern Dance class...

Cody enters the classroom and greets the students...

Cody: Ok, here is who we've been waiting for, Mr. Yagami.

Tai enters the classroom, and then the Digimons and Cody hugged Tai with an "ahhhh"...

Tai: GET OFF!!!

Cody and the Digimons moved a step back...

Cody: Mr. Yagami isn't used to our special hum hug greeting. Now, Tai will give us an idea on
the game we know as Tennis...

Tai: Ok, does anyone ever played tennis?

No answer...

Tai: Ok, does anyone at least saw people play tennis?

No answer...

Tai: What kind of dungeon do you run here?

Cody: Well, tennis was the game from the X-Files musical.

The students finally got the idea...

Cody: Now, lets do a scene from the "Naughty ball point pen"...

Cody and the students move their hands and 'swish in front of Tai, while Tai tries to ward the
group off with a tennis racket...

At the tennis court, Izzy dropped a red bag, as he hammers the stands to the ground, he ties
the net to the 2 poles, and then set up the refferee's stand...then Izzy exercises his hand
signals for marking out, in or set *from my point of view, it looks more like Izzy's doing
the Disco*...

In the hallway, Sora was next to Gomamon and Biyomon...

Sora: You got mobile phones, its rude not to use them in front of your friends. Go on it or
you'll get detention.

Gomamon and Biyomon walk away while using their mobile phones and Yolei walks to Sora...

Yolei: I can't believe you are forcing the students to use those phones. I think there must be
some deal in profits in those phones.

Sora: Indeed they have. This school will get 10% of what is earned from these phones. That
way, both of us will win.

Yolei: What about the parents? Surely those calls must be expensive.

Sora: I'm sure the parents will also win.

Sora walks away, a little bit confused...

In the radio booth...

TK: Next is Joe Kido and Kari Yagami's show, "Let us talk about libraries and physics"
and we have time for one more call...

Meanwhile, Izzy was listening to the radio...

*TK: Yes, you're on.*

*Armadillomon: Yo, big daddy TK, what do you think of Mr. Kido?*

*TK: Well, that would put me in the unfortunete position of a fellow staff member...*

*Matt snatches the mike...*

*Matt: But I'm ready to take the challenge. It will be a strange scene to see Mr. Kido control
his class, if he can't control his wife's adulterous sexual lust.*

Izzy make a laughing look on his face...

Back at the booth...Matt goes off air...

Matt: Well, that was great. I think people would want more of me than you.

TK: But people sent me a shoebox full of letters.

Matt: The people don't know what they want...

In Cody's classroom...Tai tossed a tennis ball to the Armadillomon with the racket...but
Armadillomon misses...

Tai: Great, not another wuss. I don't know how you did not get beaten up during lunch...

Cody: Well, the students most of the time do hide during lunch.

Tai: I mean, how hard is it to to this.

Tai slowly did a serve...

Cody: That was marvelous, Tai. Students, that stroke is like the time we did our opening of
our school play...

Students: Oh.

Cody: Let's try that again.

Cody and the students did the serve...

Tai: Good, very good.

At the staff room, Yolei was talking to Palmon and Gatomon...

Yolei: And Gatomon, go look for anymore old people who aren't dead yet.

Yolei to the table, only to see TK sitting at the table...

Yolei: TK, don't you have a class to teach?

TK: Well, now I'm mentally planning on our next intro of the radio station and since the
students have mobile phones, we can call each other.

TK recieves a phone call...

TK: Yes, hi, VM. No, the sexual tension between Brutus and Julius is what sparks the play.
As in "Et Tu Brute" means "Come and get it, Brutus"... *TK hangs up*

Yolei: TK, you can't teach while using mobile phones...

TK: No, that was my dad.

In Sora's office...

Yolei: Sora, you have got to stop the students from using the mobile phones. I have treated
10 students that had nose bleeds and TK is teaching with it.

Sora: Linking that to the phones is deceitful. I've seen students around sticking p forgien
objects up their noses. Right up their noses they went. If they're feeling unwell, they could
call their parents on the phones.

Yolei: You're obsessed with forcing the students to make as many phone calls you want.

Sora: That is a spectuclar lie, Yolei.

Yolei: Then why is there a sign outside the library saying, "Mobile phones must be switch on
at all times"?

Sora: You're asking the wrong person. I didn't put that there.

Yolei: Then who did it?

Sora: I got Izzy to put it up.

In the field...

Tai served a tennis ball to Hawkmon...

Tai: Good, now, that you hit it, you must try to get the ball to land inside the other side's
court, making sure he misses, and then once you do, you celebrate by raising your arms and
tossing your tennis racket up into the sky...

Hawkmon tossed the tennis racket, weakly...

Tai: No, not like that. Like THIS!!!

Tai jumps over the net and then pretended to throw the tennis racket into the sky and swing
his arms around and around a lot of times at a fast speed...

Then Hawkmon did the same thing, only with wings...

Cody walks to Tai...

Cody: So, how's the group?

Tai: Pretty good, espically this Hawkmon. We might do well tomorrow.

The next day, in the radio station...

Joe: And now we will call about the unification of physics and the fate of the universe in
"Lets talk Libraries and Physics."

Izzy was on the field, listening to Joe...and decided to call Joe...

In the booth...

Joe: It appears to be a caller. *Joe puts Izzy on the line* Hello, caller. Don't worry, don't
be afraid to speak.

*Izzy was listening*

Joe: Caller? *Then Joe felt something* Kari, is that your hand on my knee? *Joe goes off-air*
Kari, we were on air.

Kari: I was thinking maybe you're a man who could satasfy me, but you couldn't. That's it,
our partnership is over.

As Kari leaves the room, TK and Matt entered the room...

Matt: Guess what, Joe, your ratings are really low all because of the "Lets take the piss out
of Joe" segemnt in my show.

Joe: Matt, this is all your fault. Now even less people know me that before. I quit.

Matt: Hey, if you want to stay in the industry, you could be my assistant, and firstly, bring
me a cup of coffee.

As Joe walks out through the door with a poster of a J-pop group, TK puts his hand on Matt's
shoulders...

TK: Brother Matt, when I heard you talk to Joe, you refered it to "your" show and I noticed
that I'm not doing an intro anymore and when I overheard you and Tai talking, that I WON'T
EVEN BE IN THERE COMMENTATING!!!

Matt: Well, commentating is a very serious work.

TK: You are a radio cowboy!

Matt: And the new name for the show is now calld Matt and the Pig-faced man.

TK: That's it, I quit as the Pig-faced man is now, no more.

As TK left the room, Joe opened the door...

Joe: Matt, you want sugar in that coffee?

In Sora's office...Yolei entered the room...

Yolei: Sora, you've got to put Matt off air.

Sora: I can't. He's far too popular and he's been picked up by over 50 schools and can be
heard in the in-flight radio network.

Yolei: Well, listen to this.

Yolei plays the tape...

*Matt's voice: And after the break, I will announce the speeches that Highton View will use
against Odaiba High. And now is Lickin' the Lava.*

Yolei stops the tape...

Yolei: He announced all the speeches I made for the debate and now my team look stupid. And
I look stupid.

Sora: You are starting to be a whinning and whinging little girl. Why not rise above the
clouds to get over it?

Yolei: Maybe we could both rise above it as this was just on earlier...

Yolei plays the tape...

*Matt's voice: And now, I will announce that the principal of Highton View has signed a
disgraceful deal with the Zenith phone company for sponsorship and her name is Sora
Takenouchi but I call her "The Velvet Cow"*

Sora slams her hand on the table...

In the staffroom...Kari was at the table writing, when TK entered the room...

TK: Hey, Kari, I heard that you broke up with your last partner, right?

Kari: Yes?

TK: Well, I servered ties with my last partner and I need a new one...and you are the only
one avalible...

Kari: Well, you are all man and I'm mostly...woman...ok, I'll do it.

Then Kari grabs TK and kisses him...then stops...

Kari: You mean you wanted me physically?

TK: Well, why not.

Kari and TK continued kissing...

Meanwhile, in Sora's office, Matt walks in holding a drink...

Matt: Hey, they're serving drinks at the court. And I'm drinking a drink.

Sora: Matt, why did you tell the world about our deal with Zenith?

Matt: Settle down. You know the guy you made a deal with? Chitay Gamiya? Well, he's my wife's
ex-lover and we had a spar last night and he told me all about the deal.

Sora: The city news are accusing us for putting the student's health at rish and Zenith has
withdrawn their deal for their reputation and we have only one option left and that is?

Yolei: Big Digie's Port Hole.

Sora: You've just cost the school a lot of money. What are you going to do about it?

Matt: Well, you have to get me off the air or else I'll keep scandalising and blackmailing
this school. But let me finish commentating the Tennis match. I think we're winning and the
schools all over Japan hearing this. I won't scandalise anyone and I'll make it crisp and
clear.

Yolei: Yes, Sora. This crisp victory may be the only hope we have left for the reputation of
this school.

Sora: Well, the last hope this school's financial furture depends on a group of Modern dance
students...

At the school field...Hawkmon and Veemon were against the other side...

Matt was at the commentating table...as he sees Sora and Yolei...

Matt: Ok, its now a match. Odaiba High needs one more ace to win.

Cody: Ok, Hawkmon, connect with the ball...

Matt: Hawkmon is doing a girly serve...

Hawkmon served the ball and the other side missed...and Izzy points his hand to Hawkmon's
team, making it an in and then smell his under-arms...

Matt: ALRIGHT. Now, we need to get another in to win as it is now sudden death. Hawkmon is
doing another girly serve...

As Hawkmon served, the other side hit the ball back. Fortunetely, Hawkmon, but Izzy raised
his arm, only to spray deodorant...

Matt: A Replay?!

Tai: HAWKMON! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Hawkmon jumped over the net and swings his wings around and around after throwing the racket
up into the sky...

Matt: What is he doing? Why is he doing a boogy?

Hawkmon was distracted and the other side hit the ball, getting an in, with Veemon also doing
the boogy, making Odaiba High win the finals...

Matt: Its all over! Highton View High lose.

The crowd of Highton View students run after the Odaiba students, cheering at the winners...

Tai: This is the worst day of my life. I guess I'll never get over it.

Cody looks at the students...

Cody: Well, maybe they will...

The students bow down like they have finished a performance...

Matt: That's it, Highton View lose. They lost patheticly, without any honor for the school.
What a bunch of useless...*sees Yolei and Sora* Oh, hi Sora and Yolei.

Yolei pulled the plug...

Sora: Thank you, Yolei.

Yolei: Radio Cowboy...

Back at the staffroom, TK and Kari were still kissing, only to have Joe entering the room...

Joe: Oops, I think I got to go.

As Joe was about to leave...

Kari: Joe, stay...

As Kari pushes TK to the table, Joe closes the door...

*Matt and Tai's song: Lickin' the Lava*

Matt: I'm lickin' the lava.

Tai: Lickin' the lava.

Matt: Love lickin' the lava.

Tai: He's lickin' the lava.

Matt: I've always lickin' your lava.

Tai: Lickity, lickity.

Matt: I've got to lick, lick, lickty. I'm lickin' the lava.

Tai: Wanna stuff your face.

Matt: I lick your lava.

Tai: Like your dog licks your back.

Matt: Lick lick lick your lava.

Tai: Like the flames in your knife.

Matt: Lick lick lick, lick lick lickity.

Tai: Like whipping the cat.

Matt: Or maybe its nat.

Tai: Watch it burn your tootsies.

Matt: How hard is it, mate?

Tai: Its pretty hot there, Matt!

Matt: I'm really really hot but...

Tai: Don't put your finger in...

Matt: ...the lava.

Tai: He lickin' the lava.

Matt: Lickin' the lava.

Tai: All together now, everybody lickin' the lava.

Matt: La la la la la la lickin' the lava...

*Music fades*