Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ Only You ❯ Love Changes Everything ( Chapter 4 )

Warnings - This fic will contain: yaoi, language, and a suicide attempt. Read at your own risk. It's rated R for these same reasons - which means if you're under 17 then you really ought to turn around and go read something else.

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Caitlin: So this is it. Two more chapters - this one and one more - and I'm done.

Kali: For now.

Zoe: purrs. Same disclaimers!

Pairings: This is mainly a Taito/Yamachi fic (or Tai/Matt for all us North Americans). But there's definitely TK/Kari, Mimi/Joe, and hints of Davis/Ken and Sora/Yolei.

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Chapter 4 - Love Changes Everything

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(Ken)

"He's going to be fine. I talked him into starting again."

Kari sucked in a breath. "Really? He…Tai's going to get better?" Crystal tears fell.

TK sniffed. "Thanks Ken. It means a lot to both of us."

"Hey, I'm not done." He grinned as they gaped. "I also got him to agree to see you TK. No one else but us three just yet though."

"Oh! Oh, TK!" Kari grabbed his hand and bolted for the door. Ken chuckled and followed.

Tai looked up when Kari came flying in and gave her a small smile. She choked back a sob and crawled onto the bed burying her face in his neck and wrapping her arms around him. Tai sighed and kissed the top of her head, one arm holding her close. He looked at TK and a small shadow of pain crossed his features.

"Do you want me to go?" TK asked, understanding that maybe Tai wasn't ready to see him yet.

Tai shook his head, then scribbled something out on a piece of paper. He held it out and TK took it, reading quickly.

"TK, get your ass over here. I think we both could use a hug." TK grinned and tears flowed freely. He walked to the bed, crawled onto it on Tai's other side and buried his head in Tai's chest. Tai wrapped his other arm around TK and closed his eyes.

Ken wiped away a stray tear and said, "I'll come back and visit tomorrow, ok? Take care, Tai."

Tai opened his eyes and mouthed, "Thank you." Ken waved and walked out.

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(Tai)

Tai really was a fighter. Within two weeks, he was released from the hospital. The first week he was home, all his friends stopped by to see him.

All except Matt.

And Tai still couldn't speak, nor cry.

One evening, Tai got home from his extra tutoring sessions (something he'd insisted on to catch up on his classes). He found Kari home alone, sitting on the couch and talking to TK on the phone.

Tai went to the fridge to see if there was anything unhealthy to eat (A/N: Tai's mom = health food - blech!). He caught the last part of Kari's conversation as he made a sound of disgust at the contents of the fridge.

"You sent Patamon this time? Well, at least he managed to follow him without being seen. Where'd he go?" Pause. "Uh huh." Pause. "Yeah." Pause. "Oh. That's really sad, TK. Have you talked to him?" Pause. "Well, he is awfully thick-headed." Pause. "Yeah." Pause. "Alright. Love you too. Bye."

Tai collapsed on the couch and gave her a grin, propping his feet up on her lap. She rolled her eyes.

"Oh no. I'm not massaging your stinky feet, Taichi. Who knows what's growing on there!" She made a face and shivered dramatically. Tai chuckled dryly and gave her a mock-insulted look.

She grabbed the white board and erasable marker from the coffee table and handed it to him. "How was your session?"

"Fine." Tai wrote. "I should be caught up in a week or so."

"That's good. It's too bad you're benched for the rest of the season though."

He sighed. "Yeah, well, it's for the best. There's always next year."

"True." She crawled into his lap and leaned against his chest. "I'm so proud of you Tai."

He awkwardly wrote, "I love you little sis." Trying to balance the white board and her at the same time. She snuggled in closer. "Kari, what were you and TK talking about when I came in?" He was fairly certain he already knew, but wanted to hear it from her.

She looked at him anxiously. "Matt." Was all she would say.

A brief shadow passed over him, but was gone quickly. He scribbled, "It's okay. What did that idiot do now?"

"Ah, well, TK is really worried about him."

"Why?"

She sighed. "Tai, I don't think…"

"Kari. I want to know. Why?"

"Well, TK says he's been going out every night since you were in the hospital. He stays out all night, then comes home and crashes. He doesn't take Gabumon with him either. TK tried following him a couple times but Matt caught him. So he finally got Patamon to follow Matt. Patamon says that he goes to this bench in the park, by the fountains. He stays there all night staring at the stars and sometimes crying." Kari stopped when she saw Tai's pained expression. "I knew this was a bad idea."

Something in her eyes made Tai write, "What else? Come on, Kari! Spill!"

"TK said Matt hasn't played a gig or touched his guitar since we got back from the Digital World."

Tai stared at her, shocked. Oh Matt. Why? Is Ken right? Are you really wanting to be friends again? Or…is it more?

"Tai? Hey, answer me!" Kari took his chin in a firm grip and forced his attention back to her. "I asked if you were ok?"

He nodded. "Kari, I need to talk to him." He frowned. "Or at least learn sign language or something."

"Tai!" She giggled at that, but quickly sobered. "Are you sure you're ready for that?"

"No, but it has to be done. I…I at least want to tell him how I feel."

"I can't talk you out of it can I?"

"Nope. I'm just as stubborn as Matt is."

"No kidding." Kari sighed. "Just promise me that no matter what happens, you'll come home and tell me about it. I don't want you to do anything stupid. Again."

"Never again, Kari. I promise. I wasn't thinking too clearly when I did that."

They sat there together for a while and eventually, Tai's strong and steady heartbeat lulled Kari to sleep. He picked her up and took her to her room, leaving Gatomon to watch over her.

Then he went to the closet, grabbed a jacket and slipped on his shoes, before heading out to the park.

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(Matt)

Matt sat watching the street lamps flicker. He shivered and slouched down on the bench. Damn. Maybe I should have worn a warmer coat.

His thoughts, as always, turned to the 'Fight.' He looked down at his hands, trembling, as those silly, mean words floated through his mind, his voice at its nastiest tone.

…Well maybe we shouldn't be friends anymore.

Matt's shoulders shook and he buried his face in his hands, sobbing. He didn't hear the footsteps of another person as he cried out his grief. Didn't notice when the person stopped to watch him closely from a short distance away.

"Oh God! Why'd I have to say that? I never mean to say such idiotic things but somehow I always manage it. I'm such an ass. It's all my fault, Tai, and I'm so sorry!"

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(Tai)

Tai stopped when he saw Matt sitting on the park bench, sobbing with such grief, it nearly broke Tai's heart. Again.

He approached his best friend, his only love, quietly. But still Matt didn't notice. Then he heard Matt's tearful voice say, "It's all my fault, Tai, and I'm so sorry!" Tai stopped and stared. Ken was right. Oh boy. I'm just as much an idiot as you are, Yama.

Tai must have made a sound or Matt just finally noticed someone else was there because his head snapped up and his eyes met Tai's.

"Tai?" He whispered, staring at the man in front of him. "Can't be. That's just great. Now I'm going insane, too."

Tai rolled his eyes and knelt down in front of Matt so they were eye to eye. Then he smacked Matt upside the head.

"Ouch! What the hell was that for?" Matt glared at him and rubbed the back of his head. Then his eyes widened. "Oh. God. I guess I'm not going crazy." His eyes filled once again. "Tai, I'm so sorry. I'm an idiot, an ass, a jerk, you name it and I'm the very definition of it. I swear I didn't mean what I said. It just came out! And I didn't realize…I didn't know…Tai I love you! I swear if you'll give me another chance, I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I'll prove to you how much I…Ooph!" His tearful plea was cut off by Tai's mouth on his. Matt's eyes slid closed and tears spilled down his cheeks. He raised his hands and cupped Tai's face in his palms, and kissed him back.

They both moaned at the simple contact and Matt pulled Tai closer, wrapping his arms around Tai's shoulders. Tai raised his arms and slid them around Matt's neck, one hand moving to the back of his Matt's head and holding him there so Tai could attack his mouth with all the frustration, pain, joy, and love in his soul. And finally the tears came. Tai cried.

When air became an issue, they broke apart, panting and running their hands over each other, not wanting to loose any contact.

"I love you." Matt repeated, resting his forehead against Tai's. "I promise I'll never stop saying it."

Tai pulled away, smiling. Then he frowned in concentration. "Ya…" He croaked. "Yama…love…you…too." He coughed a bit, throat sore and voice raspy from disuse. But he looked very pleased with himself.

Matt cried, "Tai! You talked! You spoke!"

"'Course. I…" He coughed again. "I had to." He pointed at his throat. "Sorry. Sore."

"Here." Matt dug around in his jacket pockets and found an unopened tube of throat lozenges. "I keep them for emergencies on stage."

Gratefully, Tai popped one in his mouth and sucked on it. He stood, then unceremoniously plunked his butt down on Matt's lap, hooking an arm around his shoulders.

"Hell Tai." Matt muttered, shifting uncomfortably. "Not that I mind having you in my lap, but you've got a bony ass." Tai chuckled and bent, kissing Matt again. He'd sucked away the last of the lozenge before he attempted that, though. Wouldn't want to choke after all.

Tai pulled back and wound a string of Matt's blonde hair around one finger idelly. "Did I ever tell you how drop dead sexy you are Yama?" His voice was still raspy, but it worked.

"Me? Tai do you know what it does to me to see you in that track outfit you wear to soccer practices?" Matt ran a hot, wet, open-mouthed kiss down Tai's neck and gently nipped his collarbone. Tai shivered and sighed.

"Hmm. Really?" Tai's hands were busy undoing Matt's jacket so he could get at more of him. "And those pants are the kind you can just tear off, too."

"God." Matt closed his eyes and groaned. "You just had to tell me that?"

"Future reference." Tai slid his hands under Matt's shirt and stroked his flat stomach, smiling as he felt muscles clench at his touch.

"Tai!" Matt hissed in pleasure. "If you don't cut that out, we're gonna get arrested for lewd acts in a public place."

"What? I haven't done anything lewd. Yet." Tai grinned. "Yama, what the hell are we doing out here? It's freezing."

Matt's eyes nearly crossed. "I swear you're going to drive me insane someday."

"Yeah. But you'll still love me."

"Yep. You're stuck with me now." Matt shoved Tai off his lap and stood. "We should go. It's after midnight."

"Hmm. Kari's probably up and waiting for me." Tai coughed and Matt handed him another lozenge. After popping it in his mouth, he took Matt's hand, laced their fingers together, and started walking.

"Ah, Tai? My place is in the other direction."

"I know that. You're not going there. You're coming home with me."

"Are you sure? What about your parents?"

"Not home. Just me and Kari."

They walked slowly back to Tai's apartment. After a moment of extended silence, Tai asked, "Yama, why haven't you played since you got back?"

"Damnit TK!" Matt muttered. "Does he tell Kari everything?"

"Yep. And she tells him everything. So?"

Matt sighed. "I couldn't play anymore. There just wasn't any music left in me to play. And I didn't sing because I thought it was only fair."

"Fair?"

"The world had lost your voice. I'd lost your voice. So it was only fair that I, and the world, lost my voice, too."

"So it was some kind of penance? You idiot." Tai squeezed his hand. "Look Yama, quit blaming yourself for me being in the hospital. All right? It wasn't your fault. I accomplished that all on my own."

Matt looked at him. "What made you decide to get out of the hospital?"

"Someone I know is going through what I did. More or less. He gave me some advice that I couldn't ignore."

"Who?"

Tai shook his head. "Can't say. I'm sure you'll figure it out eventually, though." They stopped outside Tai's building and he looked up. "Yep. She's up. Hey, give me another one of those lozenges. I think I'm gonna surprise her."

Matt handed him the pack. "Keep them. We'll have to get some more for you tomorrow."

"Thanks." He sucked on another one. "Let's go. And don't let on I'm talking again, ok?"

Matt shook his head and ruffled Tai's wild hair. "She's going to kill you, you know."

"Heh. I know. It's worth it though." As they rode up to Tai's floor in the elevator, Tai recalled a conversation he'd once had with Sora.

"Change is good Tai. And love changes everything."

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Caitlin: Ta Da! Happy chapter ending!

Kali: Sappy chapter ending.

Caitlin: Oh yeah, like any of your endings are any better.

Zoe: purrs. R/R! And as always:

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Lyrics for "Love Changes Everything" from "Aspects of Love"

Lyrics: Don Black & Charles Hart

Music: ALW

Love - Love changes everything

Hands and faces earth and sky

Love - Love changes everything

How you live and how you die

Love can make the summer fly

Or a night seem like a lifetime

Yes love - Love changes everything

How I tremble at you name

Nothing in the world will ever be the same.

Love - Love changes everything

Days are longer words mean more

Love - Love changes everything

Pain is deeper than before

Love will turn your world around

And that world will last forever

Yes love - Love changes everything

Brings you glory brings you shame

Nothing in the world will ever be the same.

Off into the world we go

Planning futures shaping years

Love burst in and suddenly

All our wisdom disappears

Love makes fools of everyone

All the rules we make are broken

Yes love - Love changes everything

Live or perish in its flame

Love will never never let you be the same

Love will never never let you be the same

Love changes everything

Hands and faces earth and sky.