Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ Why You Shouldn't Fall In Love With A Straight Boi ❯ Dare You To Move ( Chapter 5 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

WHY YOU SHOULDN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH A STRAIGHT BOI

By: Daisuke Motomiya

Author: cjtokage

Disclaimer: Don't own Digimon period.

Warnings: Yaoi, song-fic, one-sided Daikeru (sorry), Taishiro (yeah), Takari (gag), Yamora (double gag),

Artist: Switchfoot, Album:The Beautiful Letdown, Song title:Dare You to Move

Single `quotes' indicates thoughts

Italics indicates song lyrics

Chapter Five: Dare You To Move

Welcome to the planet

Welcome to existence

Everyone's here

Everybody's watching you now

Everybody waits for you now

What happens next?

Well I'm back home now. What's that, you want to know how the reunion with my family went? To my extreme happiness they actually seemed worried about me. I guess I didn't give them enough credit when it comes to their feelings for me. I just assumed (yeah I know, ass=u+me) that because they were always at work or away with friends that I must not be very important to them. I'm glad I was wrong.

I know it's worrying all three of them greatly that I'm not talking or bouncing around the train like a hyped up kindergartener, but what they don't understand is that it was all an act, a mask I pulled on to help me hide my hurt from the world. Now I no longer have the will to hide myself away, so they are seeing the real me for the first time in a long time. I wish I could tell them not to worry and explain to them what is going on, but since I don't know all of what's going on in my head I can't yet.

I dare you to move

I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor

I dare you to move

Like today never happened

Today never happened before

I'm back home now; I slept in my own bed last night; I have cleaned up my room from the mess it was left in when they searched it to find clues about where I was going; I have washed every piece of dirty clothing I own. Basically I'm trying to keep myself busy because my friends are coming over. Apparently they're concerned about crowding me because today just Ken, Miyako, and Iori are coming to visit me, and tomorrow it's Tai, Izzy, Yama, Sora, Kari, and… gulp, Takeru. Jyou called last night from Tokyo, where he now lives, to ask about me; my parents talked to him for me since I couldn't.

So now I'm sitting here on the side of my bed nervous but excited to see my friends again. They'll be here any minute so I don't want to start anything else yet. Instead I am sitting here doodling on the requisite notepad I now have to carry everywhere. Suddenly they are walking through my open bedroom door (yeah my parents aren't letting me shut it anymore even at night, go figure) and I am overcome with a sense of relief as they pull me into one big group hug. Miyako has tears streaming down her face and I think the rest of us are merely holding ours in better. After a few minutes we pull apart and then they tear into me for scaring them so badly. I forget for a second that I can't talk as I try to apologize. They become concerned when they realize that no sound is coming out of my mouth, apparently no one told them about my inability to speak. That annoys me for a moment and I write down the short version of what all is wrong with me. I think that they, like my parents, are not used to me, the loudmouth baka, being silent. They nervously try to make small talk in an attempt to distract me from their concern, which annoys me even more. I make a slashing motion with my hand, cutting off their talk, and show them a short note I just wrote, explaining what the doctor said about me having to find the right trigger to bring my ability to speak back. Until then I would make due with writing out any communications that I needed to make.

The rest of our little reunion was much more relaxed after they figured out that no, I wasn't fragile nor was I crazy. They told me about some of the things that had occurred in Odaiba during my absence and I in turn let them know some of what I had experienced during my time on the streets. After about two hours they had to leave since it was a school night and they had homework. Plus they would have to get up early and go to school early tomorrow morning. They kindly (yeah right) brought me the school work I had missed during my three week excursion. I wouldn't be returning to school until next week because of my bronchitis; in addition to the fact that my parents hoped that my ability to speak would come back sometime between now and then. I hope so too but I doubt it. I have a feeling that until I come up with a solution to my Takeru problem I won't be verbalizing much.

Welcome to the fallout

Welcome to resistance

The tension is here

Between who you are and who you could be

Between how it is and how it should be

Crap, crap, crap, schools out for the day which means that my second group of well wishers will be here shortly. I really don't mind seeing Tai or Izzy, but the rest of them are going to be difficult being around. I have almost worried myself into a state of panic over seeing TK again. Shit, wait I know, I'll try one of those meditation thingies Iori tried to teach me a few months ago. Now let me see, I need to sit down on my bed in a relaxed position, check. First deep breath in, hold it for a five count, now I release it slowly. Breath in, hold it, breath out…… What they're here already here, wait you mean I've actually been meditating for twenty minutes already, wow, now that I think about it I do feel calmer.

Okay, pay attention now, Tai's saying something about being worried about me. Well I hope so, good, I get a hug from Tai, Izzy, and Sora, and even Kari gives me a short hesitant one, but Yamato and Takeru simply nod at me. That hurts and I try to suppress it quickly but I think Tai might have caught a glimpse of it. Sora tells me how sad she is that I can't talk and Tai and Izzy tell me to have someone call either of them if I need anything. Takeru, Hikari, and Yamato are withdrawn and silent throughout most of their visit which causes the hurt to continue to build. After about thirty minutes the three of them make some lame excuse about having to leave. I have withdrawn from the conversation a lot myself. Sora gives me a sympathetically worried look before turning an angry look at her boyfriend and his little brother. The four of them quickly leave and I believe that someone is going to rip into two very insensitive guys on the way home. That leaves me alone with the only other two gays in our little group; maybe, just maybe I can talk to the two of them.

I dare you to move

I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor

I dare you to move

Like today never happened

Today never happened

I watch the empty doorway for a few minutes while I try to get a grip on my conflicted emotions. I think that Tai has figured out a small bit of what my problem is, though I doubt he knows who exactly I'm anguishing over. Izzy probably has to, simple because he is the most observant one out of all of us except maybe Iori. Kami, why does it have to hurt so bad when Takeru snubs me? I can feel tears welling up in my eyes, shit I don't want anyone else to see me crying. I collapse back onto my bed and turn away from the two of them so they can't see my face. After a few seconds I feel the bed shift as one or both of them climb up to check on me. Damn, damn, damn, leave me alone, let me suffer in peace. I am shocked though when they do not say a word and instead I feel Tai's solid form lay down in front of me as he pulls me up against his chest, letting me continue crying my heart out over my lost love. Izzy meanwhile cradles my back against his own chest, surrounding me with the warmth and security I need right now as my heart finally begins to accept once and for all that Takeru will never be mine.

For the first time in a long time I feel at peace; safe in the arms of two of the few people who truly care about me. I take a deep shuddering breath as I feel my tears slowing, even as my eyes grow heavy with sleep. I want to ask them to please stay with me tonight but still my voice refuses to cooperate. With a slight feeling of regret I fall asleep knowing that I will once again wake up alone tomorrow.

Maybe redemption has stories to tell

Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell

Where can you run to escape from yourself?

Where you gonna go?

Salvation is here

TBC…

A/N: An entire chapter without a single quotation mark. I figured that since Dai-chan can't talk nobody else should either.

Cool quote: 1 “God save me from my friends. I can protect myself from my enemies” -Marshal de Villars (1653-1734)

2 “Silence is the unbearable repartee” -G. K. Chesterton / Dickens

3 “Sympathy is a virtue much cultivated by those who are morally uplifted by the sufferings and misfortunes of others” -Oscar Hammling