Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ Wicked Chains ❯ Again and Again ( Chapter 5 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

By: Sugah

~a/n~ Well…I'm absolutely insane… Be amazed!! And next chapter…*wink*…lemon pie galore. Mwahahahahahahahaa….ahhaha…ha…*cough* anyway…um…All disclaimers apply, they ain't mine, bla bla bla. The song is "Blurry" by Puddle of Mudd. (previous songs were by Linkin Park)

The nurse had said the boy would be fine, it was only a minor little cut. Scalp wounds, no matter how small, always bled profusely. Ken, sitting on the nearest bed to the one the redhead was occupying, already knew that.

But the nurse, assuming that her knowledge was superior in almost every fashion, told him anyway. She even smiled at him, patted his shoulder and told him not to worry.

Idiot. Ken wasn't worrying. He was merely waiting for Daisuke to wake up so he could interrogate him and everything.

Ken did not worry.

When the nurse finally disappeared from the quiet room, Ken let a scowl pass over his pale face, his gaze fixed firmly on the stilled form. Daisuke looked oddly doll-like, vulnerable, with his head angled on the pillow and his body…frozen…instead of moving and laughing.

It was not a particularly pleasant thought, Ken realized, as his eyes seemed linger on the pale young-looking face. He had seen that face in anger, in stubborn refusal…in something almost like love…

The pale imitation, the quietness of the features…the simple attraction he felt to the boy…

Ken shook his head slowly and pushed the thoughts out of his head, knowing that it would only lead to unnecessary complications. Complications that had corrupted his carefully wrought plans to capture and break the boy, plans to make the boy his.

Even though he knew it was impossible to even think of it, even though he couldn't help it, Ken was still hopelessly attracted to the inert boy, attracted to his face, and body, his laughter, the elusive wicked and yet innocent smile so rarely glimpsed.

A smile that he doubted would ever grace the face anymore, not after his bungled conversion attacks, the unexpected factors that had led him to release Daisuke. His emotions, chained tightly inside him, had managed to thread through despite his will. The emotions that kept his hands on the body, his mouth against the skin…

The emotions and need that kept him wishing for something to change…

~Stop it!~ a voice snapped inside, cold and clinical. ~He'll never look at you without hate…~

And for the sake of everything he was working for, Ken couldn't wish otherwise, no matter what the price.

No matter what the cost or the tears that came late at night, wetting his pillow while he slept.

No matter what.

<center>~

~Everything's so blurry
and everyone's so fake
and everybody's empty
and everything is so messed up~</center>

He huddled in the thick colorless fog, feeling cold and empty as he sat with his knees drawn to his chest, his arms wrapped protectively around him. He couldn't remember exactly why he was hiding there, covered by the eerie mist, but it seemed as if he'd done it before.

As if he had seen it, or…

Shivering, Daisuke looked around, the uneasy feeling that something was watching him, waiting for him.

//Daisuke…//

A figure stood in front of him, shrouded by the mist. Daisuke felt a stab of warm relief; he knew the outline. ~He's safe,~ he thought, and stood quickly. "Ken!"

The figure took a step forward, the mist falling away like smoke.

//Come to me…Love…//

Daisuke screamed and flung himself back. "Get away from me!!" His back struck something that felt like a wall, and he pressed himself desperately against it, hoping for it to give, and tried to breathe.

The image of Ken paused. It's gray uniform was ripped and stained a dark rich red, while the exposed skin beneath gaped with blue bloodless pallor.

The milky eyes, eyes that he had dreamed of and stared into, were fixed sightlessly on his direction. The face, usually pale, had become a white-gray color, tinged with blue, with the blood, bright and glistening against the backdrop of white and gray, mist and cloth, was pooling at the feet, soaking the dark shoes and spreading in a hungry way towards Daisuke.

"Leave me alone," Daisuke moaned, his heart thudding painfully as the spectre cocked its head, a small wicked smile playing about its lips. "You're not him…"

A slim gashed hand reached up, at the dirty stained collar, and began to unfasten it.

Daisuke squeezed his eyes shut. ~Oh please…just leave me alone…I don't wanna see this…~

But the spectre didn't pause, merely dropped its hands as the tunic-like shirt fell open, blood spread like thin ribbons across a dead chest. Like fingers spreading from the gash in the chest that exposed the pale bones of ribs, splintered and fractured…

The heart was missing, as usual, and the blood was only a few feet away from staining his shoes, when Daisuke opened his eyes with a grieving expression. "Why do you do this?" he gasped, and covered his face with his hands. "Why can't I just forget about you?"

"Daisuke...It's okay…"

Something warm brushed his hands, pulling them down away from his face, and the redhead pulled back instinctively, fearing the touch.

<center>~Pre-occupied without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl~</center>

Warm violet eyes sparkled at him. Ken stood, unblemished and free of any blood, with his hands wrapped around the wrists of Daisuke, his expression open and concerned. "It's okay…" He pulled the wrists down, turning the hands over and cupping them over something.

//You have my heart…// something whispered darkly.

Ken smiled, then, and the picture fractured, darkness flooding him.

Frozen, Daisuke couldn't bring himself to move as something warm spattered against his face while his eyes watched the violet eyes bled into milky sightless orbs. Blood, warm against his hands as it dripped onto and through his fingers, pooled at his feet. The heart that he held in his hands pulsed in a gruesome single beat, and writhed like something alive.

//Make it all okay…// the spectre asked him, and leaned in close, the grip on his arms tight and painfully cold.

Daisuke did the only thing he could think of…an instinctive reaction as he felt the heart drop from his nerveless fingers, the chill spreading off the body.

He screamed, his heart tearing inside, and closed his eyes-

<center>~You could be my someone
you could be my scene
you know that I'll protect you
from all of the obscene
I wonder what your doing
imagine where you are
there's oceans in between us
but that's not very far~</center>

After fifteen minutes of watching, Ken was beginning to feel more than slightly uncomfortable. For a moment, he entertained the thought of locking the door and finally getting rid of the annoying persistence that was Daisuke, and his presence that never seemed to leave his mind for very long.

Instead, Ken stood up and moved to the single window and looked outside, using the view as a means to control his out-of-control thoughts. It was rather…pretty, in a way, he admitted to himself in a subdued sense of displacement. It certainly felt odd enough to be standing in his soccer uniform, in the nurse's office, with one of supposed-to-be worst enemy only yards away.

And he didn't have the courage, or even what he should think of doing next.

He should do something. He had Daisuke at his mercy, and the Kaizer wasn't renowned for having mercy.

So why was he hesitating…again?!

Ken inhaled deeply, searching vainly for the answer to the confusion inside, and bit at his lip, staring blankly into the cerulean sky just beyond the trees. ~He confuses me. I cannot destroy him, cannot hurt him, I cannot even try to convert him!~

~Why does he have this effect? This…pull?~

A soft breathy sigh caught his attention, and he dropped the focus on the mental conflicts, turning to see Daisuke shifting in the bed. ~He must be dreaming,~ Ken surmised scornfully, and almost turned back to the window.

But the following murmur of sound made him blink. ~He didn't just…he said my name?~

He took quiet steps, almost silent steps considering he was wearing cleats, and perched on the edge of the pristine white-sheeted bed. He peered down into the upturned face, studying the inflection of emotion that played like quicksilver water.

~He looks afraid…~ Ken thought uneasily.

His mouth open in a silent protest, Daisuke twisted and raised his arms as if to ward something off, his face suddenly pale.

Ken felt the first stab of fear, and wondered what exactly the redhead could dream of that could put that look on his face. Not even the Kaizer had inspired that fear…

"Daisuke…" he heard himself whisper and reached out to grasp a hunched-up shoulder. "Daisuke…it's okay…"

To his relief, Ken watched the boy calm slightly, his breathing rapid and clammy sweat glistening in the bright sunlight. ~Daisuke…wake up…what frightens you so…~

~And why do I care if you're afraid…or hurt…~ he directed in a dark tone to himself. ~I have no business or right…~

Then Daisuke screamed, flinging himself high in the bed, his eyes wide and arms outstretched. Unexpectedly, Ken went flying backwards, staggering as he fought to keep his balance. For a moment Daisuke stared at the spaces between his outstretched hands, seeing something that was nonexistent to all but his eyes, and swallowed. "I…no..." he whispered shrilly, slightly hoarse. "…no more…no more blood…"

~Blood?~ Ken echoed silently, and watched as Daisuke seemed to crumple inwards, pulling his knees inward and wrapping his arms around his head and legs. His heart pounding in his throat, Ken straightened slowly. Daisuke was shaking, oblivious to the rest of his surroundings, Ken noticed, and moved closer.

"Are you alright…?" Ken whispered softly, feeling helpless.

Raising his head, Daisuke fixed him with a wild-eyed stare, almost as if trapped or cornered, and didn't speak.

"Daisuke…what happened?"

The redhead shuddered, and swiped an arm across his face, looking down and away from Ken's violet gaze. "You don't wanna know," he rasped finally, and continued to shake.

"You might as well tell me, since you were screaming…" Ken replied dryly, and perched on the edge of the bed.

Blinking, Daisuke raised his head again and opened his mouth to speak, but couldn't seem to find the words. "Ken…I can't…" His voice seemed shaky, and his eyes suspiciously bright.

"I'd like to know," the blue-haired genius insisted, forcing back the automatic annoyance and trying for a reassuring tone. "Especially since you're in my school, with nearly a concussion."

"I must have looked like an idiot, didn't I?" Daisuke laughed hoarsely, and wiped at his face again, eyed his hands with an uneasy shudder.

Ken quirked a lip, and merely shrugged.

"I'm sorry I interrupted your practice," Daisuke said softly. "I didn't mean to."

"Hmm…It doesn't matter. I'd still like to know what made you scream like that," Ken responded. "It certainly wasn't my doing…"

Daisuke gasped, and blanched, squeezing his eyes tight and shuddered. "…Wrong…it was you…" he whispered in a small voice.

Ken couldn't find a reply, a cold sort of pain deep in his middle. ~I…caused that fear? That pain?~ "I don't…understand…" he said lamely.

"I…dream…" Daisuke chafed his hands in the cotton sheet, twisting it and untwisting as he spoke. "And there's blood, and…you…" His face twisted, chocolate eyes blank again as he side-slipped into a too-recent terror. "I've ripped out your heart, and…" the shoulders hunched up as Daisuke shivered. "I don't understand it…I mean, I have your heart…You're dead…and it's my fault…"

Ken, frozen to the side, felt abnormally cold. ~No…I don't believe it…~ "But…you don't…"

"I'm sorry…" Daisuke raised a pale face, the glimmer of tears in his eyes. "I didn't mean to be a dork like that, and tell you, but…" a sigh. "It's been…bad for a while…"

Ken continued to stare at him, swallowing hard against the implications of Daisuke's grisly-sounding dream, feeling lost. Instead he focused on what Daisuke was trying to explain. "Bad?"

"Yeah…" Daisuke scowled faintly, but refused to speak.

"That's why you're all the way over on this side of the city?" Ken surmised, and felt somewhat glad that pushing away unwanted feelings was working more or less properly.

Looking mildly suspicious, Daisuke nodded after a brief moment of hesitation. "How'd I end up in the nurse's office, anyway?"

"My coach carried you, since I told everyone you were a childhood friend and coming to visit."

"Great…just frickin' great…"

<center>~Everyone is changing
there's no one left that's real
to make up your own ending
and let me know just how you feel~</center>

It was nearing 3 in the afternoon when the nurse decided he was fit enough to leave the office, and since Ken was his 'friend,' the slight blue-haired genius was generously allowed to accompany him to a train, or bus and make sure he got home alright.

Daisuke was feeling oddly confused, and somewhat emotionally stable by the time the silent pair walked up to the bus station. Confused because he wasn't sure of what he wanted anymore; he knew he didn't want to go back home. He didn't want to go back the questions and scolding for having a 'fit.'

He didn't want to go back to the life he was sick of.

There was a lot he found interesting, right here, walking in a gray uniform and barely paying any attention to him whatsoever. A boy with indigo hair and amethyst eyes, pale skin and a quicksilver light that he glimpsed from time to time. Something that he needed to explore…to know…

The two paused outside of the bus station, the blank-faced Kaizer eyeing him as he looked up at the open door of the near vehicle with something akin to apprehension.

Daisuke inhaled softly. He really didn't want to get onto that bus. He didn't want to leave…he felt almost…

"Well? Are you just going to stare at it or board?" came the terse voice.

Daisuke turned to look at Ken, thinking deeply. "I'm not going," he said finally.

"…" Ken raised a brow. "And why not?"

"Because I don't want to go back right now."

"And you'd rather stay here? No place to sleep or eat, and you'd rather stay here…Not to mention that I'm here, but I can see that doesn't bother you in the least," Ken drawled.

"You're better than they are, right now…they'd only be saying how stupid I've been acting," Daisuke replied bitterly, missing the faint shifting in Ken's eyes. "Besides, you're low on my list of things to freak out about, right now."

Ken's eyes narrowed. "So…I am something you'd rather endure instead of facing your friends?"

Daisuke shrugged, assuming that Ken wasn't about to push him onto the bus, and turned to walk down the cracked sidewalk. "I put up with you for three weeks, you think I can't handle a few hours?"

Snorting, Ken fell into step. "All this from a guy who was crying about my death only an hour ago."

A flicker of haunted pain flashed over his features. "I wasn't crying," he growled after a second of hesitation.

"Uh huh…"

"You're a dick, you know that?"

"And you enjoy every inch," Ken snickered.

To his amazement, Daisuke groaned and shook his head. "Sick bastard…"

Airily, Ken waved a hand in a dismissive way. "No, my parents were married first…"

"You're sure?" Daisuke teased, glancing sideways. "They could've just faked that and all."

Ken affected a shocked look. "They wouldn't dare!!"

"I would!" Daisuke blinked innocently. "Tell you that you're a bastard, I mean. If you were my kid, I'd always be honest."

"Hmph…who needs such trivial things like honesty…"

"Honesty makes the world go around, you know."

"Ha! That's money, fool," Ken grinned and stuck his nose in the air. "Something you wouldn't know about…"

Daisuke smirked, and merely shrugged. "Who needs such trivial things like money?" he parroted.

Grinning wolfishly, Ken shot him an amused look. "If I told you, I'd have to lock you up."

They crossed over the street and entered what looked like a park. Daisuke, still sniffing in a hurt manner, merely shrugged and said, "Been there. Done that." He paused to look around as they passed a small playground, smiling at a little girl with pigtails. "Can't say I was impressed with the staff."

"You weren't?" Ken blinked in a hurt manner, a hand pressed to his chest. "Aw damn. Now I'll have to fire everyone and get new hotel staff. Good help is so hard to find."

Daisuke broke up into giggles at that. "I can't see you firing anyone. Killing, maybe. Yelling and screaming, maybe."

"I'm full of surprises."

"So I've noticed."

They fell silent again, oddly at ease with each other, despite the high confusion that had assailed them as their verbal banter began. Something seemed to comfort them as they tossed insults and jabs back and for the; the Digital Kaizer seemed almost like a normal friend.

Daisuke smiled to himself. ~Almost like a friend…I wish…~ As strange as it was to be walking side by side with something he feared, something he was unable to name passed through him in endless waves. This felt right. It felt normal, like it was meant to happen.

"Ken…" The redhead paused at a gnarled old cherry tree and traced a hand on its bark as he waited for the aloof boy to turn. "If things had been different…"

Ken raised a brow, slightly perplexed at the question. "Different how?"

"If we weren't enemies…would we be friends?"

The question, as simple as it was, floored Ken beyond any recognition of normalcy. "I…I don't know," he said softly and looked away. ~Is that why I can't bring myself to hurt him? Because we can be friends?~

~Is that why…~

"But maybe?"

He seemed to need to hear it, Ken realized, and with a sinking warm sensation in his middle, he smiled faintly and shrugged. "I've never had real friends," he admitted. A part of him dripped cold scorn as it reprimanded him for showing a lack in willpower. ~Weak,~ it sneered.

But it was true. Friends were a luxury he couldn't afford, despite the popularity his mind brought him, despite the abundance of people willing to be close to him. They were nothing but parodies of something he wanted, and never had.

"You never had friends?" Daisuke looked surprised as Ken leaned against the tree.

"I'm a genius. I have no time for friends. I have no time for 'fun' or being normal. I'm the Kaizer."

"Wow. Must get lonely."

Ken sniffed and looked away, pulling himself into a protective mental shell. "Whatever." ~What would he know…~

Daisuke sighed deeply, and slid into a seated position against the trunk. He was silent, thinking of things and worrying about everything and nothing while he mulled over the words so recently spoke.

"Ken…"

"What now?"

"I got sick of everything…That's why I left," Daisuke whispered. "I got sick of feeling sorry for myself, riding out Miyako's scorn…being stupid…"

"You're not stupid," Ken muttered. "If anything, you're strong. And caring. Stubborn," Ken paused to say something he had thought of long ago, in a cold colorless place while he stared at blank monitors. "A friend who never falters…despite everything…"

"I'm impulsive. Rude. I don't think ahead on anything. I don't deserve to be anyone's friend, Ken, much less the leader. I don't' have the right stuff."

Mildly surprised, Ken looked down to see Daisuke leaning on his knees, staring with a pensive sort of brooding at the expanded green of the park. "I don't think that's true," he said softly, and slid down to sit next to his enemy.

Then he said something that shimmered the air, shook the ground, and nearly pierced Daisuke to the core with its implications. "I didn't make the wrong choice when I told you my name…"

<center>~'Cause I am lost without you
I cannot live at all
my whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl

You could be my someone
you could be my scene~<center>