Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ A Saiyan Homecoming ❯ Life, the Multiverse, and Everything: Part 1 ( Chapter 11 )

A/N: Ok folks, new chapter time. Sorry it took so long, but I'm fast closing in on the end of this story. Depending on how long it takes me to develop a small part of the plot for the sequel, I can be done in as soon as five chapters.

This chapter was split into two because it was going to be too long otherwise, so I'm sorry if it seems confusing. Give me one more chapter!

In other random news, I'm looking for a beta for this story at the moment. I've come to the conclusion that one would be exceedingly helpful. I'm looking for someone who can check grammar, tell me when I'm getting confusing, and can get back to me within a couple of days. If you're interested please email me/contact me via IM.

And because I'm lazy, I'm just going to say thanks for all the reviews, and not go through with individual reviewers at the moment.

Discussion group/update list: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/nadialist

Disclaimer: I don't own Dragonball Z or associated characters. I do however, lay claims to the versions of Red, Rider, and various other OCs herein, and tinkerbell!cami, aka Pixie, belongs to Lisse.

A Saiyan Homecoming

by Nadia Rose

nadiarose3@hotmail.com

Chapter 11: Life, the Multiverse, and Everything: Part 1

Bulma Briefs counted the ambulances. One…two…three. Blinking, she counted them again. Three. Something in the back part of Bulma's mind told her that this could turn very nasty. There were three ambulances.

There were supposed to be five.

It was impossible to just lose two whole vehicles, but with the kind of history her family had accomplishing the impossible, it was a certain probability that not only had she lost the ambulances, but they somehow would have created a massive traffic incident or gone through a portal into a different timeline. There were times when Bulma really wished she knew who had decided they deserved such odds, so she could drag them into the street and shoot them. Repeatedly.

With a resigned sigh, she decided to see who she'd have to track down, and stomped over to the first ambulance. A spiky-haired man was happily describing his kids to the paramedics. Son Goten-check. The second one contained Gohan, Piccolo, and two slightly-frantic paramedics. Kai-Elect and accompanying dead man-check. The third contained a peacefully resting Pan, who occasionally growled a warning at the ogling paramedic beside her. Moody daughter-in-law-check.

Missing-incapacitated mate and mute son.

Bulma blinked as her mind processed that thought, then groaned. She'd be lucky if the planet was still around by nightfall. Of all the things to happen, it had to be those two who'd disappeared. Glancing around, her gaze landed upon the closest-available person who she knew could sense anything. She gave him a sweet smile, refusing to panic with the same stubbornness that had won her the heart of a Prince. "Ubuu?"

The dark-skinned man looked up from where he was politely holding the door open for the Paramedics. "Miss Bulma?"

"C'mere," she beckoned. "I have a job for you."

* * * * * *

Twenty minutes later Ubuu was perched in the air halfway between Satan City and Western Capitol, his ki senses stretched to their outmost. Of all of them, he probably had the most sensitive mental "ears;" he could pinpoint the smallest things, determine strengths, and even in the case of people or creatures he knew well, moods. The most experienced of them in the art of tracking and hunting, he'd "volunteered" to go search, thanks to Bulma. Beside him, Juuhachi had also "volunteered" to help.

With the sort of mood Bulma had been in, "volunteering" had been the wisest thing to do.

So they stood out in the sky, patiently avoiding the signs of the coming dawn, and waited. Or rather, Juuhachi waited, and rather impatiently. Not only had she been up longer than any of the others and been through a major fight, but she'd recently discovered all three of her grandchildren had been left with her darling twin. And she just didn't trust Juunana with the twins and Juugo. Only she could corrupt her grandchildren.

Ubuu opened one eye and watched at her for a moment. "Your breathing is quite loud, Mrs. Chestnut."

Juuhachi blinked. She'd been designed to be silent. Completely. There was no way he could have heard her. "You must have heard something else."

Her companion shook his head. "Aside from the hawk about 100 meters in that direction," he pointed, "a few ground animals and livestock, you and I are the only creatures for a few kilometers." He gave her a polite smile. "I have very good hearing."

"Indeed," she muttered, extending her own enhanced senses to check for life forms. They were just as good as hers, actually. In a rare effort to instigate conversation, the android, who had softened over the many years, cocked her head and scrutinized the young man before her closely. "Is that an aftereffect of merging with Buu?"

"No," Ubuu said softly. "My father taught me."

"Your father?" Juuhachi was always curious to hear about people who had parents. Neither she nor Juunana could remember anything about who they had been before, and Krillen didn't like to talk about his parents.

"Mmmm," Ubuu swiveled in the air to face another direction, bringing his ki senses up to another level to listen to something suspicious. "He was a martial artist-of a sort. Much different from you and the others. He taught me how to listen." He cocked his head for a moment, looking very much like a full-grown child in light of the rising sun.

"What was his name?"

"Jabari." A long pause filled the air between him. "And he's the reason I work on the Preservation. Wandering poachers killed him for trying to stop them from slaughtering our cattle for bait."

Ubuu, Juuhachi knew, was a quasi-Park Ranger on some big Reservation for endangered species somewhere in Africa, where he'd spent the last several years hunting down poachers. Now she understood why. "I'm…sorry."

"Don't be," the man displayed a mouthful of very white teeth in a content smile. "That was what Father did-he was a defender." Before she could even think about responding, Ubuu opened his dark eyes and pointed off in the distance. "They're over that way. And there are two kis there-I've never felt anything quite like them. We'd best be careful."

Juuhachi gave him a slow, sweet smile that would have made anybody who knew her scuttling in the opposite direction for cover. "Shall we go visit?"

Ubuu bowed courteously to her, then zipped off after her towards the strange kis in the distance.

Life was about to get a little more complicated.

Ubuu pinpointed the kis to a ramshackle little dairy barn not too far away from where they'd been searching, one of the large windows covered with a board to keep the cold from coming in, but there were several others that were open. Juuhachi wrinkled her nose at the rather…unpleasant aroma that pervaded the air, but Ubuu didn't notice it and crept stealthily over to the back door to listen carefully, because he could hear voices inside. After a moment, Juuhachi joined him.

"Restraint! For the last time, you can't tie Vegeta up!"

"Why not? That's what I do."

"You can't tie up a man in a bodycast, Restraint. That's redundant."

"But you can't effectively kidnap anyone without restraining them, Importance," the second voice mocked.

"He's in a bodycast, Restraint. He's not going anywhere. You just have a bondage fetish."

The second voice sniffed. "And what if I do? At least I don't have to write everything down in triplicate so I don't forget it by the time I get where I'm supposed to be going."

The first voice hissed in reply.

There was a moment of silence between the two arguers while Juuhachi and Ubuu wondered exactly who they were dealing with. It didn't last long.

"Oh EWW! I've stepped in dung! Why, by Shin's silver hair, did you have to choose this-this-this…"

"Barn?"

"This…barn…as our hideout?"

"The handbook Stealth gave us said to choose something isolated. And unfrequented. And there's a bucket and a hose over there, if you want to wash your shoe off."

Vegeta's mocking laugh sounded from inside. "You can't even kidnap us properly!"

"Oh shut up!" The two female voices shouted back in unison.

"Gag him." The voice who mentioned the handbook ordered.

"With pleasure." There were a few muffled noises from inside.

"Damn Saiyans. They really are too arrogant for their own good. I have no idea what Shin sees in them…"

"Shin likes brawn, not brains. Just look at his Knights. They're a walking freak show."

A snort of protest sounded from somewhere behind Juuhachi and Ubuu, but they didn't notice. Although how they failed to notice the flash of light as a horse the size of a small truck appeared out of nowhere carrying three strangers was another one of the great mysteries of the multiverse. That or the gossiping kidnappers were just too interesting. Either way, the two living humans had no idea that they were being watched.

"You better not say that out loud," the one they'd mentally tagged as Restraint warned. "I hear Shin still has friends in higher places."

"Oh please? The angels? He could string any of them along by the nose. They're like puppies!"

Juuhachi raised an eyebrow. Angels, Knights…and the Supreme Kai? Was this some sort of secret code?

"It's a good thing the Angels are too preoccupied to be listening in on this," a male voice, remarkably similar to Gohan's, came from behind him. "Godlings or not, those two wouldn't stand up against them for long."

Ubuu and Juuhachi whirled to find themselves at eye level with a smooth black muzzle the size of Juuhachi's entire hand-the head attached to it was as big as her torso. A massive draft horse the color of midnight was standing proudly behind them, thick forelock draping over fiery eyes as he watched them and waited.

It wasn't the horse that surprised them, though. It was the passengers. A man, a woman, and a pixie were arranged on the horse. And the man had Gohan's face. His hair was flat and limp like a human's, and he was wearing clothing that had gone out of fashion centuries ago, but his face was Gohan's.

"Forget the angels," a tiny voice snapped from the area of his shoulder. "They called us a walking freak show! I am not a freak show, Gohan!"

The man turned his head to peer off to the side, where what looked like a pixie was hovering an arm's length from his shoulder, tiny wings beating furiously. "Of course not Cami," the man who had Gohan's face and Gohan's voice soothed. "You just have…unusual circumstances."

"Cut the chatter," a third woman ordered, swing her booted leg over the horse's rump to drop to the ground. "We need to get them back to their dimension before they get bored and start meddling. There's already enough Otherworldly interference in this universe, and personally, I'm not going to be the one mopping up once this is all over." Her hair reminded the two earthlings strongly of fire, and, much to her surprise, the boots she wore seemed to be made of it.

Eyes the color of a predatory bird peered at them for a moment. "My companions and I have been sent by Shin to help you rescue your friends."

"Well, not really," the pixie murmured. "He said to find out where the…"

She was silenced by a finger placed over her mouth. "Sssshhhh, Cami."

Red, for lack of a better name, rolled her eyes at the pair. "It's all right. They're just godlings. We should-"

"Ouch, Cami! That hurt!"

With a sigh, Red swiveled around. "What?!"

The man pointed to the pixie. "Cami bit me!"

She stuck her tongue out in reply.

Ubuu and Juuhachi exchanged glances, and started wondering which mental institution this crew had broken out from. And where they'd stolen the horse.

"Anyway, before I was so rudely interrupted," the woman continued, ignoring the clamor of her companions, "We should be able to handle them without a problem." Without pausing to consider anything more, she planted the sole of one boot into the door, kicking it open with much splintering of wood.

Startled exclamations from inside were quickly cut off when the horse charged past them inside, steel shoes ringing on the concrete floor. A few more shrieks followed, and not being fighters that wanted to be left behind, Ubuu and Juuhachi ducked through the door.

The sight that met their eyes would have been comical, had they not been so confused.

Two women, at least creatures that were faintly female in appearance anyway, were cornered between two cows standing in the byre, facing down the man on the horse. They looked like belonged in a dairy barn about as much as a cow belonged in downtown Satan City. The woman in front, who wore something that made Ubuu have to fight back a blush, was wielding a milking stool at her attackers. The creature behind her, whose skin was a deep green several shades darker than a Namek's, was swatting at the pixie-girl with a thick book.

Ubuu and Juuhachi only paused to blink at the strange sight for a second before hunting for Vegeta and Trunks, who were, as far as they could tell, tied up in the milking room. Their kis felt angry-but they weren't hurt.

"Knights," the woman with the stool hissed. "How did you find us?"

The man on the horse, Juuhachi had mentally dubbed him Rider, shrugged. "Luck, I suppose."

Red, who was standing on the ground beside him, snorted. "There's no such thing as luck. Look," she addressed the women, "You're not supposed to be here, and everybody knows it. Just come easy, and we won't have to hurt you."

"Never!" Green-girl shrieked, dropping her book and ducking away, intending to run for the door.

The pixie was faster. Swiveling on one dainty heel, she collected her hands to one side in a familiar pose and began to chant. "Ka…me…"

"Um, Cami," Rider commented, never taking his eyes off of the other woman, "You might not want to do that."

"Ha…me…."

"Cami!"

"HA!"

Instead of the ki-beam they'd expected, a steady stream of what looked like flowers shot out of her hands and bounced harmlessly off the back of the retreating woman.

The Pixie-girl, whose wings were leaving a stream of glittering dust behind her, wailed in disgust. "They replaced my ki with tulips? What's next? Do I have to start granting wishes and turn pumpkins into carriages?"

"Hmmm," Rider deadpanned. "Maybe we ought to find you some dragonballs. Or a magic wand."

The little girl swelled up, preparing to yell at Rider in a fashion that seemed somehow familiar, completely forgetting about the escaping kidnapper. Ubuu phased out and grabbed the green woman by the back of her dress, if what she was wearing could be called a dress, and drug her back over to the others. She wasn't really that strong. Aside from the pointed toe of a shoe connecting rather painfully with one of his shins, she didn't do a thing to him.

"Let go of me…you….mortal." Even a simple word could be made a slur.

Sliding into work mode, Ubuu discarded the politeness that usually was his mantra. "Your name?"

Moving quickly, Red dove and caught the other woman by the wrist, neatly incinerating her stool with a quick ki-blast. "C'mon," she murmured, dragging her away from her spot between the munching cows, "this party's over."

"You have no right to do this to me!" Green-girl shrieked, attempting to pull away from Ubuu, who stared at her dispassionately.

"What gave you the right to kidnap my friends?" She stared at him for a moment, then pulled herself up to her full height, which put her head on a level with his chin. "I," her chest puffed up importantly, "am the Goddess of Important News. I've a message for Son Gohan, and I had to get his attention somehow."

"Kidnapping the Saiyan Princes will do that," Juuhachi remarked drolly, "but not in the way you wanted to. Now where are they?"

The goddess, if she really was such a thing, stared back at her with pale pink eyes. "Not until I see Gohan."

"I'm right here," Rider remarked.

"Not you," she snapped back. "The Kai-elect!"

Ubuu blinked, and exchanged yet another glance with Juuhachi. They'd officially landed in Wonderland.

Red snorted. "He's indisposed." She glanced at the woman she held tightly by the wrist. "And you are?"

"The Goddess of Restraint."

"Ooooh," Red murmured. "The one with the bondage fetish." She shook her head. "Well, you can explain what you're doing here to Shin. In his office."

"You can't take us!"

"I can't?" Red shook her fiery head and gestured with her free hand, drawing circles in the air. A moment later golden ki oozed out of nowhere, falling into the shape she'd just drawn. Another flick of her wrist sent the ki-manacles around Restraint's wrists, where they tightened. "I really don't think you're going anywhere."

Restraint fumed.

As soon as Red had left Restraint, Rider (Son Gohan?) reached down and hauled her up behind him on the horse. Red stood in front of Ubuu's captive and held out one hand. "Give me the message, and I'll take it to the Kai-elect."

"You're a Knight," the green-skinned goddess snapped. "Why should I trust you with something so important?"

"Because as a Knight I am honor bound to serve the Kaoishin. Or his apprentice. As his messenger I could be severely punished for not delivering a message to either or them if I knew of its existence. Now," she extended the hand, "give me the message."

Paper dropped into her hand with a definitive rustle.

"Thank you," Red snapped, and wrapped another set of ki manacles around her wrists before shoving her up to Rider on the horse. "Take 'em to Shin. Cami and I will see to it that the others are freed and returned."

Rider tossed her a casual salute. "Yes Ma'am."

A tug on the reins and the jangle of spurs sent the horse into motion, and Ubuu and Juuhachi watched, wide-eyed, as it disappeared into a column of light. As soon as either of them regained control of their conscious thought processes, there was a lot of explaining to be done.

Red snagged Pixie out of the air, who was still fuming about the fact that her favorite attack was now a parade of flowers. "Enough, Cami," she murmured, dropping the paper into the pocket of her long-tailed jacket. "It's over. They're gone."

"I'm a Pixie!" The girl wailed.

"You are."

"But I'm supposed to be a demi-saiyan!"

"I suggest you deal with it," Red replied, before turning to the two. "I think Vegeta and Trunks are in the milking room. I'll help you get them back to Capsule Corps."

"Who are you," Juuhachi demanded bluntly, crossing her arms over her chest.

"My name's Octavia," Red introduced herself with an enigmatic smile. "I used to live here on Earth before I died, but that's a long story." She tugged the door to the milk-room open. "I'll explain once we get to Capsule Corps, because I only want to have to do it once, and I'll need Gohan's help."

Pixie snorted. "You'll let him do the explaining, you mean."

Red-Octavia, rolled her golden eyes. "They'll believe him more than me. Now let's get moving, before I have to destroy something."

"Yes Ma'am!" Pixie giggled and eyed the two Saiyans-one of whom was liberally wrapped in duct tape. "That's going to hurt coming off," she giggled softly. "And you can't say anything, either!"

Trunks stared down at her, too confused to say anything even if his jaw hadn't been wired shut.

It was going to be an interesting trip.

TBC…..

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