Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ A Saiyan Homecoming ❯ Life, the Universe, and Everything, Part 2 ( Chapter 12 )

A/N:Ok, folks, here it is. Much sooner than I was expecting, too. I really didn't want to have to do mass explaining this way, I feel it's the mark of a bad author, but I got myself trapped into doing it without realizing it. I know this is a lot of information to process, but I'll probably reiterate things once or twice so they might become more clear. Thanks also go out to Johnny Rage, who is patient enough to be my guinea pig and let me know when I'm not being clear about things.

On other random note, thank you all for sticking with me on this one. We'll be getting back to the plot and weird humor shortly.

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I have a challenge for all of you readers: I'm wondering how many people are actually reading this far-even those who lurk, so if can stand my writing long enough to make it to the end of the chapter, drop me a line! Reviews are the only reward I get for writing this-because I was practically to the point of pulling my own hair out once or twice over the course of this chapter. Let me know my impending baldness was worth something!

Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ, but I do own assorted OCs in this chapter, with the exception of tinkerbell!cami, who belongs to Lisse, and is used with permission. Oh, and the definition of Hermes comes from Classical Images and Insights: Mythology, my current reading-for-pleasure book.

A Saiyan Homecoming

Chapter 12: Life, the Multiverse, and Everything, Part 2

The first indication anybody had that the wandering patients had returned was the telltale thump of something hard hitting the ground outside the door followed by a low moan and a giggle. The second was Vegeta's guttural cursing, but the first probably would have been enough.

Son Barden had ever so helpfully appointed himself lookout, as everyone else was involved in either getting the other refugees settled in appropriate bedrooms, or keeping certain wives from going out and searching personally. Being almost eight, however, he didn't have the endurance of an adult, and had eventually retreated to curling up on the couch to wait, and somebody, probably Yamcha, had taken pity on the boy and covered him with a blanket.

He was dozing soundly, so it was a good thing the odd little party of rescuers had been generous enough to remove Vegeta's gag. Sliding off the couch, he stumbled over to the door and looked through the tiny window next to it. And promptly rubbed his eyes before looking again. He must not have been awake yet.

Apparently he was; there was still a woman with boots that were on fire and a pixie standing outside with Ubuu, Juuhachi, and the Saiyans.

Forgetting that they were probably waiting for somebody to unlock the door, Barden, being the boy he was, had to go get somebody to second this amazing discovery. He wanted to ask his father, because Gohan was sure to know at least what sort of creatures those were, but the big green Namek was guarding his room, and Barden didn't know him. So instead he padded into the kitchen, where his mother was trying to engage his barely-restrained older sister in conversation to keep her from going to search herself.

"Mom! Panny! Mr. Ubuu and Ms. Juuhachi are back, but there's a strange lady and a pixie with them!"

Videl and her daughter looked up in one movement, but their reactions were completely different. Videl, having long served in the law-enforcement business, was apt to shoot off into a rapid-fire interrogation about exactly what he had seen, how well he could describe it, and if they seemed dangerous. Pan, on the other hand, had something entirely different on her mind. She thunked her mug back onto the table so hard it broke and gave her beloved little brother an exasperated glare. "Did they find Trunks?"

Barden had to stop to think about this, but luckily his brain was a bit like a massive sponge. It soaked up more than he was aware it did, and was able to supply him with an answer. "Yes-except he's wrapped up in duct tape. Like a mummy." Then, being the small boy that he was, he proceeded to tell his mother all about the strange lady with the fire-boots and the Pixie.

Pan, whose patience had disappeared when one of the paramedics had gotten a little too friendly about halfway down the drive, growled at her brother. "Did you open the door?"

"Uh...no?"

Mumbling about absent-minded brothers who had no common sense, Pan pushed away from the table and went to see what was going on. Not wanting to unleash her daughter's temper onto some poor unwitting souls, Videl followed, absently listening to Barden's descriptions as he trotted along behind them.

Pan reached the door first and wrenched it open, not even bothering with the lock. Videl winced and made a note to herself to apologize to Bulma for the small piece of wall that was still attached to the front door, despite the fact it was wide open. Barden darted between his mother and sister to get a closer look at the strange people, not noticing the dazed looks on Ubuu's and Juuhachi's faces. The booted lady was holding onto Trunks, who was standing on his own two feet, despite the fact he must have had six layers of duct tape wrapped around his knees.

Pan promptly glomped her darling husband, clinging tightly. "What happened?"

Trunks blinked.

Reality, more specifically the fact that Trunks' jaw was wired shut, came rushing back, and Pan turned to Ubuu for an answer. Videl stepped closer as he started to explain what he knew.

Barden tapped the booted lady on the arm as politely as possible. She turned to look down at him, a smile spreading across her lips. "Can I help you, Barden?"

The young demi-Saiyan blinked. "How do you know my name? And are your boots real?"

The woman's smile flickered as she fought back a laugh. "Of course I know your name, your father talked about you all the time. And as for the boots, you're a smart boy. Have you ever heard of Hermes?"

Barden nodded and slid into textbook mode; he was very smart, and unlike his father at that age, he didn't have to be pushed into studying. "Hermes was a Greek God, Mercury to the Romans, patron of travelers, merchants, gamblers, highwaymen and thieves. He was also messenger for the other Gods-he wore," he eyed the boots, "winged sandals."

The woman nodded and smiled at him. "I have a secret." She leaned down close to his ear and whispered, "I stole his sandals."

Barden looked again, and sure enough, the boots had begun to look less like boots and more like lace-up sandals with wings. Awe crossed his face, and he gazed up at her. "You know Hermes?"

"You meet a lot of different people in my line of work," she patted his shoulder. "Ask your dad about some of the people he's met sometime. You'll be surprised."

"Cool," Barden murmured, awe-struck. "Do you know any other gods?"

The woman chuckled. Videl snagged her son by the shoulder and pulled him away. "Barden," she scolded lightly, "you shouldn't be bothering the…" she glanced questioningly at the woman.

"Knight," she supplied helpfully. "My name's Octavia, and that," she pointed at the Pixie, who was perched on Vegeta's body cast, "is Cami."

The little girl looked up and waved, then went back to skipping across the tie-dyed body cast, leaving trails of fairy dust in her wake. She plopped down on Bulma's ki-inhibitor (just the perfect size for a pixie-chair) and sighed, glancing sadly at Vegeta. "Look," she pointed forlornly at the trail of footprints across the cast where she'd danced. "I leave footprints now. Glittery ones even." Apparently this was the worst possible thing that could happen to her. Ever.

Vegeta growled at her. "Get off me you…creature."

"Oh thanks," Cami bellowed, sounded remarkably like a tiny Bulma. "I rescue you from godlings and you insult me! You never change, Vegeta." She huffed and twitched her wings in annoyance, sending a fresh wave of dust over herself and Vegeta's cast. "Hmmm…" she mused, then glanced wickedly at Vegeta. "I wonder how much of this stuff I have to spread around."

"Cami!" Octavia snapped, snatching the little girl by the wings and shoving her in one of the voluminous pockets of her white coat and buttoning it shut. "No torturing!"

A muffled whine of protest emanated from her pocket and it shook in reply as Cami's visions of a glittering tie-dyed Vegeta were promptly squashed.

Pan blinked, then gently tugged at the duct tape wrapped around her husband, starting to peel it off.

"Anyway," Octavia continued smoothly, as if the little interruption had never taken place, "I need to speak to Gohan. He has a message."

Videl immediately became suspicious. "Why should I trust you?"

"Because she works for Shin," Gohan murmured from where he'd been leaning against the doorway for the past couple of minutes. "And she's family."

Videl blinked.

Gohan smiled reassuringly at her, moving to run his hand through his hair before he remembered they were both in casts. Sighing, he glanced at Octavia. "Does he need me back already? I've only been home three days." He frowned. "Has it been three days?"

"I think so," his wife replied, not relinquishing her grip on their son's shoulders. "And how is she family?

"I'll explain later." He glanced at the woman. "What's going on?"

"Nothing for you to worry about, although I imagine Shin would like to know how you managed to break both of your arms. There was a little outbreak from out there," she tugged her chin upwards. "Yemma's counterpart managed to release some souls and about ten bodies."

"And he sent you to track them down and send them back," Gohan finished, then glanced back up at the sky in exasperation. "At least he sent a human."

Octavia's pocket jerked again, and Cami shot out of it, hovering in front of his face. "And me!"

Gohan stared for a moment.

Then he laughed.

"Ooooo!" Cami crossed her arms and fumed in Pixie fashion, quivering while bells tinkled somewhere in the background.

"Sorry." Gohan spluttered. "It's just that…how did that happen?"

Cami lifted one shoulder absently and peered at the space behind Gohan. "Bra and I got caught doing something we shouldn't have been. I took the blame for both of us. And does she owe me." She sniffed delicately. "Do you sense something?"

Gohan blinked as Octavia snapped into full alert, peering at the area behind him with her golden eyes, before he shook his head. "I've still got tranquilizer aftermath-I couldn't sense anything right now if it were standing right behind me."

The red-haired woman snorted. "That much is obvious," she replied wryly, and glanced at Cami. "Do you think we can handle it? Or do you want to wait for Gohan?" She paused for a moment. "Your partner Gohan."

"Considering my ki-blasts could stock a florist's shop, I think we'd probably better wait."

Octavia nodded.

Somewhere inside behind Gohan, an entire coffee table was flipped over inside, although there wasn't anything close to it. Bulma poked her head out from where she had been getting yet another cup of coffee after checking on Bra yet and blinked. "What was all of that about?" She marched over to stand next to Gohan. Cami's face brightened, and she settled down on the top of the woman's head. Bulma eyed the girl, then the people arrayed on her doorstep. "Anybody care to explain?"

"I'd better," Gohan murmured. "But…this is going to take a while. Is everybody up?"

On cue, Pan, who was still unwinding her mate, finally got to where the tape pressed against bare flesh. Not even thinking about, she tugged.

Trunks screamed.

Well, as much as a man who had his jaw wired shut could scream.

Bulma winced and rubbed at her ears. "If they weren't, they are now."

Pan grimaced and took the apologetic hand her mate offered her and rose from where she'd fallen backwards onto her rear when he'd jerked. "Sorry!"

Trunks gave her his saddest look, and Vegeta snorted. "Quit your whining, brat. You've been through worse than that before you could walk!"

Trunks glared at his father, and continued to try to milk sympathy from Pan, who was only too happy to provide it.

Gohan grimaced and ignored the scene as his daughter hung all over the man he'd always thought of as a second younger brother. He'd deal with that later. "Why don't we all just go inside, so I can get started?"

After a mass exodus and shuffling as everyone got themselves comfortable, Gohan opened his mouth to begin. He didn't get past the first syllable when the broken door flung open again, revealing Octavia and the man Juuhachi and Ubuu had taken to calling Rider, minus the horse.

Chichi blinked and fixed her eyes on Octavia's face. "Mother?"

The red-haired woman smiled gently and bowed her head. "It's good to see you again, Chi-chan."

Goten peered curiously at the haloed woman, absently shifting the small girl that had settled on his lap into a more comfortable position. "You're my grandmother? But…" he glanced between her and his mother. "You and Mom don't look anything alike."

"The people where I am from are very diverse," Octavia returned easily. "Your mother looks almost exactly like my mother, except she has her father's hair and eyes. Human inheritance is not as narrow as that of Saiyans."

"Oh," Goten replied. "Well, it's nice to meet you."

Octavia bowed politely. "The same to you, young Goten."

After they had all absorbed this rather…interesting information, Gohan cleared his throat. "Okay, everybody here? I only want to have to do this once."

There was a murmur of assent and, somewhere across the room, a light armchair overturned. Rider and Octavia exchanged pointed glances, but remained standing on either side of Gohan.

Without thinking about it, Gohan assumed his Professor-pose, something he hadn't used in a long time and absently tried to settle his glasses, only to be inhibited by the fact that he wasn't wearing his glasses and that both of his arms were a bit…immobile. "Well, as all of you know, the Supreme Kai approached me when Barden was a baby and offered me a position as one of the lost Supreme Kais. I couldn't tell him no," he glanced pointedly at Videl, remembering the long discussions they'd had over the matter, "and my training started two years ago."

He took a deep breath. "I'm not allowed to reveal too many specifics about some things, but the biggest thing I need to explain is that time moves differently in the Afterlife, Heaven, the Next Dimension, Ano'yo, whatever you'd like to call it. Only two years went by here, but it was fifteen for me."

"So how old are you now Gohan," Krillin ribbed, unable to resist.

Gohan thought for a moment. "I'm fifty-three. I think-it could be three or four years in either direction. Time's not real easy to keep track of out there-the calendar's different, and synchronizing them is next to impossible."

From her spot in the armchair with Goten's son cuddled in her lap, Chichi blinked and connected a few of the odd statements that Gohan had come out with in the hospital, and was only far too aware that the already small gap in their ages had been drastically shortened. Probably down to about a year, if Gohan's calculations were right. A part of her protested that her baby couldn't be just a year younger than her, but another part of her reminded that if she hadn't had him so young, it wouldn't have been so bad.

"Anyway," Gohan continued, "my training was rather…diverse. I did some temporary Guardian work on planets, defeated a few armies, learned how the gods operate in general…oh," he remembered suddenly with a lash of the tail he hadn't had two years ago, "I learned Instant Transmission-or rather, what Instant Transmission is a variation of."

"Really?" Barden's interest was sparked.

Gohan nodded. "Yes. It's called Dimensional Transmission-and it's not just limited to the same universe the way IT is."

Silence.

"The same universe, Gohan?" Bulma was skeptical. "Is that why he looks like you?" One hand extended to Rider, who was making faces at Juugo in Chichi's lap to amuse him.

Gohan glanced at the man, who had both of his eyes crossed, nose wrinkled, and mouth pulled into something that might have been a cross between a scowl and a grin. "Er…I'm getting to him."

He frowned for a moment and paced the length of their little sitting alcove, trying to figure out how he wanted to explain this next…step. Parts of it were not going to be pretty. His eyes landed on the old faded picture from around the time of Cell on the wall, and the purple-haired man it contained.

Gohan seized the example and wondered why he hadn't thought of it before. "Well, take Mirai Trunks. He came back in time to stop the androids from happening, sorry," he glanced at the twins, "but he didn't manage it. He created an alternate timeline, right?"

Bulma nodded.

"Well, he didn't really create so much as an alternate timeline, but an alternate universe." Gohan waited for that to sink in for a few moments before he continued. "Think of time like a rope. Every time someone, like Mirai, goes back in time to change something-or even just a single decision is changed or an event happens differently-the strand of the universe is split into two different strands. It's not the same universe, it's created a different one, but they're still both part of the rope." He grimaced. "That's a really simplified version…but it should work for what you need to know.

"Now…imagine all of the decisions or events that, theoretically, could have gone different, like Planet Vegeta never having been blown up, Frieza never coming to Earth, Grandmother not dying-or even dying at a different point in time. It all creates another split in the strand-a new universe."

Barden, who, although nobody really suspected it yet, had an IQ that would rival Bulma's, nodded. "But…all those changes…all those different universes…universi?"

Gohan smiled down at his son, proud of the mental steps the boy had just taken. "That's right, Barry. They're all still twined together-smaller strands in the much larger rope, which we call the Multiverse."

From his spot on the wall Piccolo nodded in approval.

Bulma sat for a long moment, mind working in about six different directions as she attempted to wrap her mind around the physics involved in that concept. She glanced at the others, and attempted to look at Cami the Pixie, who was still sitting on top of her head, before staring at Rider. "Right. And that's why he looks like you. He is you, isn't he?"

Gohan nodded, and glanced at Rider, who, except for the stark white tail and the limp human hair, was his clone. "Do you want to?"

Rider shook his head. "You're on a roll-don't let me put a stop in the path."

"All right," Gohan grumbled, and motioned to the man. "This is Son Gohan." Rider flicked them a casual salute. "He's from one of the alternate universi."

"What happened to your hair?" Chichi questioned. "You could do with a haircut, too."

Rider stroked vainly at his waist-length hair. "Er…I got struck by lightning when I was kid. Was bald for a long time, and my hair finally grew back but it was flat."

Goten eyed the halo hovering above the man's head. "How…how did you die?"

Rider's face darkened, but he shook his head and carefully schooled his features into a blank expression. "I was nineteen. Majin Buu attacked Earth, and I killed him. Unfortunately, Babidi was determined to take me with him for killing his pet, and I," dark eyes flicked towards his mother. "I died."

Chichi fought the urge to embrace her other son. "Why didn't they wish you back?"

"They couldn't." Rider shrugged. "I was dangerous and unstable, and they made me a Knight, and you can't wish Knights back with Dragonballs."

Juuhachi finally pounced upon something she recognized. "Knight. Those two-creatures in the barn called you that. What is that?"

Rider glanced at Gohan, who shrugged. "Put 'em on. We might as well do it right and get it over with."

Closing his eyes, Rider, the alternate Son Gohan, bowed his head and concentrated. Wings burst from his spine. Two massive pinions arched above his head as he spread them, revealing an expanse of glossy black feathers broken only by a network of thick roping scar tissue.

Cami the Pixie abandoned her perch on Bulma's hair to sit on Rider's shoulder, sparkling brightly.

On the other side of Gohan, Octavia had also sprouted wings, except hers were made of some sort of luminous wisps of energy, tinted the color of her hair at pinions and trailing edge. They were ephemeral-more like a trick of the light than something solid. Barden longed to pop up and touch to see if they were real, but his mother's grip on his shoulder prevented him.

"Angels," Ubuu murmured softly.

Chichi gasped. "Mother?"

Octavia smiled at her daughter and flexed her wings. "It's all right, Chi-chan. They're just part of being a Knight."

Gohan bowed politely to her. "I'll let you take it from here."

His grandmother nodded and flipped her wings lightly onto her back. "Well…the Knights of Heaven are creatures pulled from various universi and timelines when they die and put into service of the Kaios, but ultimately, they answer to the Supreme Kai."

Cocking her head for a moment, she chose her words carefully. "We serve…different functions. Gohan-Knight Gohan, and Cami patrol the Borderlines between heaven and the living world. There's another Knight I know who is an…Exterminator. It's his job to take care of all the nasties who end up here in the living world. Still others are enforcers-they keep the peace between Gods."

"And the wings?" Bulma questioned.

Octavia's wings shimmered in response. "They're…part of the uniform. Kaioshin likes us to look official." She shrugged, making them ripple. "Personally, they're a pain…but that's just life."

"Oh," Bulma replied. "Then what do you do?"

"You're a messenger, aren't you," Barden piped up. "You have Hermes' sandals."

Octavia smiled, and Goten finally was able to parallel the strange woman to his mother. "Very good, Barden. I am." She snapped her fingers. "Which reminds me…" she dug through her pockets and pulled out a scroll. "You have a message, Gohan. A pair of godlings decided that kidnapping Vegeta and Trunks would get your attention so they could give it to you."

Gohan grimaced and glanced at his hands. "Tell me what it says?"

"This," she studied the scroll for a moment, "is a legal notice from the Great Council alerting you to the fact that the testing portion of your training has begun. And will continue until they declare you fit or unfit to take your place at Shin's side as Supreme Kai of the…North."

"All right," Gohan didn't bat an eyelid. "I wasn't expecting it to start so soon, but…" he shrugged. "I'll handle it as it comes."

On Rider's shoulder, Cami bit her lip.

Videl finally found her voice. "What's this about a test?"

Gohan shrugged. "Shin only taught me the basics-that's all he's allowed to teach me right now, according to the rules. The gods set up various…tests for me to go through to see what I've learned. From what I've read, it will basically be a massive simulation of sorts-to see what I'll do in various situations."

"That's right," Rider affirmed. "Most of the time you won't even know it's happening."

"Of course that's as long as they don't start letting demons up here out of hell to simulate a jail-break."

"Cami!"

"What, Gohan? It's not that unusual. How many times did Cell and Frieza decide to rain on your High School parade in the Multiverse?" Cami twitched her wings, making Rider sneeze at the cloud of glitter.

"Cami," Rider's voice was strained, "other-me is not in High School. His daughter's not in High School anymore either."

Gohan gave them both a pointed stare. "Right. Not that Cell and Frieza would want to come here anyway. We had a nice little chat last time I went through Hell."

The gathered locals blinked at the almost savage expression the man they'd come to love as a slightly goofy Professor and friend wore. It was so unlike the man that they had known that he might as well have been a different person. This man was primal in a way Gohan hadn't been since Buu-more connected to his instincts than he'd ever been.

The Knights, however, didn't seem to think this was odd in the slightest. "I hope it involved pointy objects." The sort of scowl that decorated Cami's face was just…wrong. Pixies shouldn't look that vengeful.

Gohan shrugged, becoming aware that he was about to lock himself in a conversation with the Knights none of his friends and family would understand. "It involved a few ki blasts, yes," the mild-mannered Professor-face was back.

Cami smirked at him. "Good."

With a groan and much pulling of sore muscles, Gohan sank into the armchair and eyes his friends and family, unaware that the Knights, still flanking him, were giving off the eerie image of footmen guarding their king. He gazed at his family and friends, receiving more than one glossed-over look in reply. "I know it's a bit much," his voice was gentle, "and I'd love to tell you that it only gets better, but…" he trailed off for a moment.

"It's only going to get worse," Octavia finished grimly. "Life in the afterlife is complicated. I know. I've been there for decades and I still don't understand the way it all works."

Cami stood up on Rider's shoulders and stretched. "Just remember that the Supreme Kai is the man to be up there. If you're not sure what to do, drop his name. A lot. And if that doesn't work, I suggest screaming for Gohan as loudly as you can. There aren't a lot of gods strong enough to take him on."

Vegeta, had he not been in the most gaudy body cast known to the human race, would have puffed his chest out in pride. The Saiyan people had ascended to such strength that not even the gods would compete with them. He didn't have an ego the size of a large planet, not really.

It was more the size of a solar system.

The glazed looks still hadn't disappeared, and Gohan decided it would probably be best if he didn't try to explain anything else. When compared to other species, humans sometimes had a hard time with absorbing things. He would explain things gradually as the years went by, because he probably had another good thirty years or more before he would be ready to take the title of Kai. Until then, he could teach, and enjoy time with his family.

His eyes fell upon Goten's little girls, sitting on their father's lap. When he'd left they'd been toddlers-now they were kindergarteners, and the little boy in his mother's lap had to be a nephew he hadn't met. And Barry…Gohan promised himself to take his son fishing as soon as his arms healed.

Pictures on the walls behind the couch rattled, and one of the potted plants tipped over, spilling dirt onto Bulma's precious hardwood floors.

Gohan blinked and tried to stretch out with his senses, but tranquilizer backwash was still making him practically blind to anything he couldn't see, smell, hear, or touch. "What was that?"

"Something we brought with us." Octavia's voice was curt.

Cami snorted, assuming a rather odd pose on her partner's shoulder. "You don't think Shin sent all of us just to deliver a message, did you?"

Even fifteen years or so of training in the afterlife hadn't managed to eliminate some of Gohan's more noticeable traits. Occasional absolute cluelessness was one that Shin couldn't keep from popping up on occasion. He blinked owlishly up at them, a look swiftly replaced by curiosity. "I thought you three didn't get out of the Afterlife much. What are you here for?"

His alternate self's answering slow smirk held a decidedly ruthless edge to it. "A bit of spirit hunting." He glanced at the area by the toppled plant. "And it's about to begin."

Life, and the Multiverse in general, was about to get much more interesting. Son Gohan was on the hunt, and woe betide anything that stood in his way.

Something in Bulma's house was about to find that out. The hard way.

TBC…

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