Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Bejiita - Unattached ❯ Part 8 - The Price to Pay ( Chapter 8 )

Rated: Strong R
Warnings: Yaoi, rather lemony, lil angsty, steamy, language. Enjoy ^^
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Just using the characters for my own amusement. So don't sue!

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Part 8

"Gohan... thanks for listening. I guess I really needed to talk it out."

"N...no prob dad..."

Dad hung up abruptly. I was a bit stunned at his brusque demeanor, and the sudden shift in how he's dealing with this... situation.

So he's finally going to confront him. Maybe now Bejiita will get what he wants and all this will be over.

| Then why aren't I happy? |

What kind of question is that!? I berate myself. I know perfectly well why. I'm in love with the cocky prince and he does not love me. I know it will never work. I know I'm not the one he wants. I know I don't want to risk an open confrontation with my father over him. I know I'm not available.

I will not betray my family, no matter how much my body and heart cry out for him. I will just endure my feelings and move on. I can take it. I suppose, in that way, I'm stronger than Bejiita. I can withstand unrequited love without losing my mind.

| That's good. Right? |

A long pause.

I take a deep breath, almost afraid to really face myself.

Maybe it's not so good.

If I really loved him, wouldn't I stop at nothing to have him? Wouldn't I think of nothing but him?

Perhaps my feelings for him are not quite as strong as I perceived them to be. They may even pale in comparison to those my father has for him. My father. He's willing to give his entire heart and soul to Bejiita because it's what he deserves; while a large part of mine will always belong to Videl.

My throat tightens at my revelation. Bejiita truly is lost to me. What he needs, I cannot give him. But I can I lose, or miss what I never really had to begin with?

What I do have... is my family. I would miss them dearly.

I hear footsteps approaching.

"Gohan..? Honey you gonna hang up that phone? It's been beeping for a while..." Videl says from the doorway.

I look down at the receiver still in my hand. I put it back as I turn to look at her. Videl. My friend. My wife. Mother of my children.

I rush over to her and pull her to me for a fierce hug, almost afraid to let her go.

"I love you... Vi..del" I say muffling my sobs in her thick hair.

Unsure at first of what to make of my sudden outburst, she hesitantly wraps her arms around me, returning the embrace fully after a moment.

"I love you too!"

I smile against her hair.

Hopefully that's what Bejiita will be hearing today.

I just pray that Dad goes after him and makes everything right...

===

"I love you..." he whispers again. "I'm sorry I didn't say it earlier..."

My fist shook. `But I couldn't will it to move. How could I? I'd been dying to hear those words. I let go of his shirt and looked down at the tiled floor.

"Kakarotto... I..."

"I know..."

He looks past me, at Buruma sadly, puts two fingers to his forehead and he's gone. Leaving as quickly and quietly as he came.

Reality comes crashing back full force. I don't dare look at Buruma now. I lean on my chair with my back towards her, still staring at the floor as if fascinated by it. Neither of us says anything. She sat there the entire time. She saw everything.

Again I did not meet her eyes as I heard her throw a few hundred Zeni on the table and walk out of the restaurant.

She drove home alone.

I finally look up when she's a safe distance away, noticing all the eyes on me, and the part of me that refuses to go down. I think nothing of their stares. But I know Buruma does. These are people she may have known, or came in frequent contact with. They saw everything, just as she did.

I feel my stomach churn and flutter.

I can't believe he... we did that in front of her. I... I wanted to spare her this kind of pain. But how long could I have kept it a secret? I should have known the more I tried to hide it, the worse it would be when she found out. How could I have been so foolish?

I lick my lips again. His taste already fading. Just one kiss. | I wanted so much more... | One kiss, at the worst, and best of times. Just one, and it has altered the course of my life.

I turn and leave as well. I have... something I need to do, but I take my time going home. Walking slowly as if the weight of the world rested on my shoulders. I hardly noticed at all when it began to rain.

===

I hear the front door slam and footsteps pad down some stairs. 'Mom and Dad must be back from their night on the town,' I tell myself.

| A little early aren't they? |

I didn't expect them back until morning... |

Some time goes by, and I notice how silent the house is. The air is... tense somehow. My parents are never this quiet. Ever. I wonder what's up. Didn't they have a good time? Did they get really wasted and pass out? Considering Dad doesn't drink that's pretty unlikely.

Everything seems a bit, out of place. Surprisingly, I feel my father's ki approach long after I heard them come in. Did mom come home alone? Why?

| Now this is strange |

I walk down to find them. I sense they're in the same room now. They're in the den. Dad stands at the open window, with his back towards my mother, who sits in a loveseat on the opposite side of the room. She doesn't look happy. Not at all. Neither says anything.

Dad looks out of the corner of his eye for a moment, then back outside as if there were something interesting there. I stand back from the doorway, so I can't be seen, but I can still hear them.

Despite the frigidness of his stance, and the uneasy air in the room, Tousan speaks calmly, and evenly; as if he'd practiced the words a thousand times. Regardless of his low, muted tones, his words lacked none of their usual harshness, and brutal honesty.

===

"Our relationship is a farce..." I say simply, trying not to feel anything as I say it. Trying not to hear her breath hitch, or her heart break.

"I'd ... hoped you wouldn't find out this way. I hoped you wouldn't find out... at all. I'd been hiding it, even from myself, for a long while. But I can't anymore."

"I'm... I.. "

| Just say it! What's the use in hiding or hesitating now?! |

"I'm in love with ...Kakarotto... I'm sure you gathered as much already..." I say looking up at the darkening sky.

"How long...?" she says, her voice slightly thick, and raspy as if she were crying.

| I've... made her cry... didn't I swear I would never do that...? |

She IS crying. Of course she is. How could you not when a relationship is about to end?

| Why is this so hard? Isn't...this what I wanted? Why must there always be someone who loses? |

"How long?" she asks again.

"A long time..."

"Why didn't you tell me?.. Why did you go on pretending... to love me?" I could hear the pain in her voice.

I feel a dull ache in my chest. Is that really what I've been doing? I finally walk over to her and look her in the eye. Her baby blue's a rimmed with red and unshed tears.

"I do love you... I did..." I correct myself.

I close my eyes as I put a hand on her pale shoulder. I can't see that look in here eyes anymore. I can't take it.

"But not enough. I have not treated you as I should. I can't keep this up anymore..."

"I knew...."

"What do you mean..?"

"I knew how you felt about him. It was always the little things really...But what tipped me off was when I caught you staring at a picture of him a while back. It was late at night. I watched you from the doorway for a while, but you didn't even notice me... until I said something." she says looking away.

"I tried to lie to myself; thinking it there were many pictures on the mantle. Maybe you were looking at one of me."

So she does that too. She knew my affections lie elsewhere, but she stayed with me as well. Probably hoping I'd come to my senses one day, and love her back, just like I wished Kakarotto would do. Then I realized just how horrible my actions had really been. I stayed with her, always getting her hopes up. And Gohan, who only wants to help me, knowing I do not return his feelings either.

I was nothing more that a pathetic hypocrite. Completely deserving of my daily torment.

This cycle of pain ends with me.

"I realized today... I didn't stand a chance..." she let out a shaky laugh.

"What a fool I was."

A long sigh.

"The only fool here is me..."

===

"I'm sorry... Buruma.." Dad said very softly, almost inaudibly. That was all.

I'm not sure if he'd said anything more, or if I'd just stopped listening. I walk slowly, and quietly, yet clumsily back to my room, utterly shocked after what I'd heard.

| How... why is this happening? They seemed so happy... |

I get to my room finally and collapse on my bed. Lying on my back staring at the window and rolling dark clouds. Rain pours down in torrents against the glass. I hardly hear the thunder at all. The whirlwind of my thoughts perfectly matches the turbulent weather.

But oddly enough, I feel nothing. Detached. Disconnected. I can't even fathom how to respond. So I don't. My head hurt too much.

After a while, I feel another presence in the room. I'd felt it for a while, but I didn't look up. For some reason I was afraid to. I sit up slowly and turn around, not sure of what to expect now.

"Tou...san?"

He looks at me for, what feels like an eternity. As if analyzing every inch of my face. He's wearing an expression I've never seen before. He's not himself today. He's holding a bag. Why? Is he going somewhere? Why?

All at once, steely arms are around me and my face is buried in the crook of his neck as he hugs me tightly, shaking slightly.

"Papa..?"

"I'll be there for you... when you need me," he whispers. Then he was gone.

I left my room a minute later to find my mother. To find answers. An explanation. Something. I found them in my father's room, and my mother sitting on his bed. Her face buried in a wrinkled, navy, pinstripe suit as she sobbed. She looked up, but not at me.

"It still smells like him..." she says quietly, her words somewhat muffled by the fabric.

TBC

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