Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ But I Won't Say That ❯ Confuscious say....READ THIS ( Chapter 15 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

(Talks like Brak) Hey there every budday! How ya doin? Wait, don't answer that, cuz I can't hear you. It's time for another chapter! YIPPY!

A/N: The first few were thought up by my bud Raymundo....again. He's a genius ya know? I'm also giving a shoutout to Homestarrunner for being so....him.

ON WITH IT!! Wa ta!


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(Goku and Vegeta are sparring in SSJ form)
SSJ Goku: Hey Veggie! Your roots are showing.
SSJ Vegeta: They are? (pulls out a mirror and checks) Hey...wait a minute...I don't dye my-OOOFF!
SSJ Goku: You really should stop falling for that...
SSJ Vegeta: Ohhh...my spleen...

*

Bulma: I have a power level of 5!
Krillin: Well, considering this Atkins lo-carb protein bar has a power level of 25 I'd say that's quite an accomplishment, Bulma.

*

Vegeta (examining Nappa's ki reader that he's borrowing): Ugh...Nappa? There's something on this planet called Q-Tips. Look into them.

*

A/N: And now I bring you....DBZ FORTUNE COOKIES!! (holds for applause) Courtesy of Homstar, and his....wackiness. I dunno why, but I feel that Homestar cookies apply to the DBZ cast...

Goku: Yay! The best part about eating chinese food, is all the cookies you get at the end!
Vegeta: You're only supposed to have ONE fortune cookie, baka!
Goku:: Oh...well that sucks.
Chichi: Let's all just open the damn cookies so we can leave! I'm missing my soaps!
Goku: I wonder why they call them "soaps" when there's so many dirty goings-on in the shows...
Goten: Hehehe, dad. You said "goings-on".
Goku: So? Where's my cookie!
(Vegeta throws a cookie at Goku's head)
Goku (opens cookie, and reads the fortune): "Why not try some moldy bread. You might not vomit." Wow, this cookie gives good advice. (eats the cookie)
Bulma: That's sort of a weird fortune. Normally they say something poetic and....normal.
(Bulma opens her cookie and reads it) "Briefly, let's discuss your underwear" WHAT?
Vegeta: Hehehe
Bulma: Perverted cookie!
Trunks: Kinda funny how it knew your last name, mom. (opens his cookie) "You've got something between your teeth. Something green." GAH! I DO??!! (picks up a spoon and starts to examine his teeth in the reflection of it) Dammit! The spoon makes me look upside down!
Vegeta: How embarrassing. He's not my son.
Bulma: Shut up! He is too! Open your God damned cookie!
Vegeta: Pfft...(opens his cookie) "Greatness can be measured in arguements won." Hmmph....smart cookie.
Trunks: How come dad gets a normal cookie?
Bulma: I wouldn't call that normal, dear...
Goku: Bulma, since you're not eating your perverted cookie, can I eat it?
Bulma: Wha...oh, sure, whatever. Knock yourself out.
Vegeta: Watch it Bulma, he just might...
Goku: *munch* Huh? I don't get it.
Chichi: *sigh, I guess I'll open mine next.
Gohan: Be careful mom.
Chichi: Oh hush, it's just a cookie.
Goku: But Newtons are fruit and cake!
(blank stares from all around the table)
Goku: What?
Chichi: (ignores him and opens her cookie) "Your primary goal will be washing up" Huh? That's stupid.
Goten: It kind of makes sense mom. You do clean up....everything.
Chichi: Well! From this moment on, I am NOT a maid!
Goten: Uh oh, we're pretty much screwed now.
Goku: Chichi, are you gonna eat your cookie?
Chichi: YES! (eats it ferociously)
Goku: That was kinda scary.
Goten: I guess I'll open mine now. (opens his cookie) "A pillow fort simply cannot last." Damn...I guess that blows our plans, eh Trunks?
Trunks: (still staring into the spoon) Was I even eating anything green! (looks around) DON'T LOOK AT ME!! (puts his hands over his mouth)
Gohan: I guess I'm next...(opens the cookie) "Ugliness is next to you, scooch over" Wha...(looks over and sees Yamcha) Eugh..
Yamcha: What? Is it my turn to open mine?
Gohan: Uhh...yeah, sure.
Yamcha: Cool! (opens his) "Laugh your way out of a tense bathroom situation" What the--I already do that!
Bulma: You laugh your way out of EVERY situation, you idiot!
Yamcha: Oh yeah...hey Krillin, you've been real quiet. Open yours and see what it says!
Krillin: I was hoping no one would notice me.
Goku: Hey Gohan, did you eat your cookie?
Gohan: No, here...if you must.
Goku: Oh, I must.
Yamcha: Hey, shut up you guys! Krillin's gonna open his. Go ahead Krillin.
Krillin: I'm scared...(opens his very slowwwwly) "Park in a secret place where no one can find you." W-why...why does the cookie want me to park where no one can find me?? What's gonna happen to me!?
Bulma: Oh Krillin, it's probably nothing. It's just a stupid cookie.
Krillin: Still...why would it say that? Oh man, I'm so dead.
Goku: Krillin, you gonna eat that cookie?
(silence)
Goku: No? (grabs his cookie and eats it)

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Oh them naughty fortune cookies...more cookiness, LATER!