Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ But I Won't Say That ❯ Squirrels of DOOM! ( Chapter 19 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

A/N: Ok, this chapter is weird. Even for me. I dare someone to read this outloud. C'mon...WUSS! I dare you to read everything in this chapter, (except what's in the parenthesis) outloud to yourself. I DOUBLE dare you to do it in the character's voices. DO IT!

Ok, read on if you must (and outloud if you're not wimpy). But you've been warned, it's mighty weird.



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(Set near the woods around Goku's house)
Goku: Beedeebeedeebeedeebeedeebeedeebeedeebeedee...(Annnnnnnnd etc.)
(Yamcha walks up and stands around, listening to Goku....say....what he's saying....yeah) (A/N: Look folks! Yamcha's in a chapter! How rare, and exciting!)
Yamcha: What's up with him?
Vegeta: Just ignore him, he's been doing that for hours...
Bulma: 3.5 hours to be exact.
Vegeta: Grrrr....
Yamcha: Huh?
Bulma: Three and a HALF! Man, you're dumb. I don't see why I ever--
Yamcha: No! Not the hours! I meant "huh, why?"
Bulma: Why what?
Vegeta: *to himself* I'm surrounded by bakas...He wants to know WHY Kakarott is saying....you know....that....beedeebeedee.....thing.
Bulma: Awwwww! That was SO kyoot! Say it again!
Vegeta: (blushes) Wh--NO! Don't be absurd!
Bulma: C'mon! Do it!
Vegeta: NO! (crosses his arms and turns around)
Bulma: Do iiiiiiiiiiit.
Vegeta: Leave me alone woman!
Bulma: Pweety pwease?
Vegeta: (blushes some more and puts his hands over his hears) I can't hear you! LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA....
Yamcha: You guys! Would someone tell me what's up with Goku already?!
(silence)
Vegeta: He saw a squirrel.
Yamcha: That's it? A squirrel?
Bulma: He saw a few baby squirrels in some tree over there. (points...over there)
Vegeta: Damn you woman! Must you correct everything I say??
Bulma: I dunno, must I?
(Goku scurries past everyone saying "beedeebeedeebeedee")
Yamcha: ......Squirrels huh? Must've been some cute squirrels.
(Goku starts to imitate a squirrel cleaning itself and chatters his teeth. Vegeta shakes his head, and looks up at the sky)
Yamcha: Let's go up there and see the squirrels.
Bulma: Sure! Come on Vegeta, it'll be fun!
Vegeta: Fun?? You're not getting me up that blasted tree! Those squirrels must have hypnotic powers! Just look at him, he's acting more idiotic than usual, that's hard to do! (points at Goku. Everyone turns to look at him)
Goku: People are always after my nuts! I must hide them! Beedeebeedeebeedee....
Bulma: Oh please...hypnotic squirrels. Honestly.
(A/N: This is getting stupid, isn't it folks?)
Yamcha: Yeah Vegeta, gimme a break. You must be loosing it.
Vegeta: I am not loosing...."it"!
(Yamcha and Bulma climb the squirrel tree)
Bulma: *in a baby-voice* Here squirrely squirrely....
Yamcha: I think I see their eyes.
(Vegeta notices Yamcha looking at Bulma's butt)
Vegeta: I don't believe those are squirrel's eyes you're looking at, weakling!
(Bulma turns and gives Yamcha a dirty look)
Yamcha: I--uhhh...
(Suddenly some chattering is heard in the tree hole...thing. Bulma and Yamcha quickly turn towards the squirrels and see red eyes staring at them)
Squirrel: SCREEEEEEECH!!! (it suddenly lunges at Yamcha and attaches to his throat)
Yamcha: AHHH! THE PAIN! THE HORRIBLE SQUIRRELY PAIN!!
Bulma: AHHHHHH! (falls out of the tree as Vegeta watches in a daze) OW! (looks up and sees Vegeta with his head tilted and staring at her) Don't just stand there you idiot! Help me up!!
Vegeta: (snaps out of whatever he was in) Oh! Yeah...(helps her up)
(They both stare at Yamcha in the tree, battling three tiny squirrels with red glowing eyes. He falls out of the tree after a while, and the squirrels stay up on the branch they were fighting on and clean themselves.)
Bulma: (approaches the fallen Yam-head slowly) Yamcha? Are you alright?
Vegeta: Don't get too close woman, he's under the squirrels control now.
(Yamcha starts to twitch and sits up. He starts chittering like a squirrel and looks around)
Bulma: Oh my gosh, this is horrible.
Vegeta: Still think I'm mad, woman? I told you small mammals were nothing but trouble.
(Yamcha gets defensive and growls at them)
Yamcha: Stay away from my nuts!!
Bulma: Well that won't be hard to do.
Vegeta: Indeed. He has none.
(both snicker)
(Up in the tree, the squirrel's heads turn a whole 360 degrees and glare evilly at Vegeta and Bulma)
Bulma: Holy crabcakes, did you just see that?
Vegeta: Crabcakes? I just saw the hideous rodents pull an Exorcist move. Where the hell did you see crabcakes out in the woods??!
Bulma: (Smacks Vegeta on the head) That's what I meant!
Vegeta: You make NO sense Onna.
(The squirrels begin to climb down the tree and creep towards the odd couple)
Bulma: Uhh, they're coming this way.
Vegeta: I say we.....GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!
Bulma: I agree!
(They both take off running for Goku's house)
(There's a long pause, the wind blows a bit...some...leaves move I guess...Yamcha scurries over near Goku and starts making 'chitter chitter' noises)
Goku: Hey! Go away!
Yamcha: chitterchitterchitterchitterchitter
Goku: STOP COPYING ME!!

*Dun
***Dun
*****Dun


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A/N: So, did you read it outloud? Seriously? YOU FREAK!! NOW EVERYONE THAT WAS IN THE ROOM WITH YOU THINKS YOU'RE INSANE!! I can't believe you actually read it outloud!

For those of you who were wussy, quiet readers...good for you. You're a boring, humorless individual.





More....LATER!!