Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ But I Won't Say That ❯ Twentieth Century Chapter ( Chapter 20 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

A/N: 20 chapters, my God. I truly am insane. I don't know HOW I'm going to come up with more funny things, but...I'll try. My mind works in mysterious ways.


Anyway, on with the twentieth chapter.




*****
Chichi: So tell me Goku, is that a dragonball in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
Goku: No, it's a dragonball...
Chichi: Grrrrr...!!!
Goku: OH! But uhm...I *AM* happy to see you hon....heh heh....
Chichi: You're so....alert
Goku: Gee, thanks! I try to be.

*

(Vegeta's first realization that Goku ain't quite right)
Vegeta: BIG BANG ATTACK!!
Krillin: Hehehehehe, he said "bang"
Goku: Huh? I don't get it...
Vegeta: *sigh* Honestly, I'm in the middle of an attack here! This isn't an episode of Beavis and Butthead!
Goku: Did he just call me a butthead? You're just asking for it now spikey boy!!
Vegeta: Wha? No wonder he got sent here....he's a friggin' idiot!

*

Goku: Wow, Parunga's got some HUGE balls!!
Dende: GOKU!
Vegeta: Heh *snickers*
Goku: What? Look at 'em! They're HUGE! Bigger than my head even!
Dende: Goku, you shouldn't--
Vegeta: Don't worry about it, he doesn't understand what he's saying...
Dende: Oh, ok.
Frieza: Did I hear someone say 'balls'?

*

Bulma: ARRRRRGGGHHHHHH!!! Vegeta! Would it KILL ya to put the seat DOWN when you're through with your, "royal business??"
Vegeta: Well woman, would it kill YOU to look before you sit?
Bulma: If men could actually AIM, they wouldn't need the extra three inches of circumference in the toilet bowl to pee in, and we wouldn't be having this discussion!!
Trunks: ......She's got us there dad....
Vegeta: Humph!
Goku: Why can't you all just pee in the woods like normal people?!

*

Trunks: So Goku, I heard you had a run in with some squirrels.
Goku: I didn't run over any squirrels, I don't even drive.
Trunks: No no no, I mean you...had an encounter with some of them. I know you would never run them over.
Goku: Oh, well yeah I saw some if that's what you mean.
Trunks: Mom tells me you got hypnotized by them.
Goku: Hypno-what? No, I just like acting like a squirrel sometimes. I heard Yamcha's having some problems though...
Trunks: Did I hear you correctly? You like to...pretend you're a squirrel?
Goku: Sometimes, yeah.
Trunks: *tear rolls down his cheek* I-I...want to give you a hug...please.
Goku: Uhm, ok.
(They hug....and hug....and hug....)
Goku: Trunks...can you like, let go?
Trunks: OH! Sorry...heh
(Goku looks at him weird and scratches his head)
Goku (thinking to himself): Did he touch my butt when we were hugging or....
Trunks: It's just that...I thought I was the only one that loved squirrels...I-I feel like, we're soul mates.
Goku: Really? What size shoe do you wear?
Trunks: No no, not that kind of "sole-mate".
Goku: Oh. Well maybe not "SOUL" mates...but we can be squirrel mates...or...whatever
(Trunks hugs Goku again)
Trunks: *sob* I'd like that very much (starts to cry)
Goku: Ohhh boy.

*

(Goku and Vegeta are sitting in the kitchen at Capsule Corp.)
Vegeta: Would you hurry up and drink your damn tea so we can leave??
Goku: (slowly sips his tea to annoy Vegeta) This is really good tea, I don't wanna drink it too fast.
Vegeta: Holy shit! It's just Lipton!
Goku: Still...
Vegeta: HURRY UP!!
Goku: Don't rush me (siiiiiiiiiiip)
Vegeta: GRRRRR!!!
(Bulma comes in the room and goes to the 'fridge)
Bulma: Hmmm, we're out of eggs. Veggie-kins, can you stop by the store on your way back from....where are you going again?
Goku: Pfft! (spits out his tea) "Veggie-kins??!!!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Vegeta: GAH!! Shut up!! I'm sure your banshee of a wife calls you idiotic names too!
Goku: Hehehehe, nothing like "Veggie-kins"....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Veggie-kins!
Vegeta: SILENCE! (takes Goku's tea and breaks the cup over his head)
Bulma: VEGETA!
Vegeta: What is it? You going to embarrass me some more??
Bulma: I asked you a question! WHERE are you two going?
Vegeta: The salon I like is having a sale and--
Goku: We're going to a SALON?? You said it was pig racing!! I don't wanna go to no salon, that's fruity!!
Vegeta: Oh no, you're not backing out of this now! And there's nothing wrong with fruit!
Goku: I HATE salons! They might try to give me a bad haircut like yours or something!
Vegeta: I DO NOT HAVE A BAD HAIRCUT!! Have you not seen your hideous head??!! It looks like a porcupine's ASS!
Goku: It does not! You're mean!
Vegeta: What kind of stupid come back is...nevermind, you're going!
Goku: I can't believe I'm going to miss the pigs because YOU need fruit smelling hair! I bet there never were any pigs...
Vegeta: How I like my hair to smell is none of your concern! Now let's go! (grabs Goku by the shirt and drags him out the door)
Bulma: You better get eggs on your way home!!
Vegeta: Right right right...(they leave)
(A few minutes later, Trunks comes in the kitchen)
Trunks: Hey mom, is there still some left over chicken, or did dad eat the rest?
Bulma: No, I think it's still in there.
Trunks: Good, cuz I feel like chicken tonight. (A/N: hehehe...*sings* Like chicken tonight!)
(Trunks goes to the 'fridge)
Trunks: *sniff sniff* What is that...I know that smell...*sniff* GOKU! (turns around quickly) MOM! Goku was HERE??
Bulma: ....Yes, Vegeta is making him go to the salon with him. How did you know he was here?
Trunks: WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME???!!!
Bulma: Uhh...
(Trunks goes running up to his room)
Trunks: WHY AREN'T I EVER AROUND WHEN GOKU'S OVER!! WHY KAMI!!??!! WHY DO YOU HATE ME!!??
Bulma: Hmmm...I think he gets it from Vegeta's side of the family...
*****

Thanks to all you reviewers, you're so sweet!

I might be writing a different kinda fanfic soon, so...if you wanna read a different style of my writing, keep an eye out. It'll still be DBZ though. Same type of humor too. Just FYI.