Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ But I Won't Say That ❯ Papa Goku's Storytime ( Chapter 28 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
A/N: I thought I'd try something a lil different with this chapter...something...stupid. ENJOY!
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*Corny music plays*
And now it's time for Papa Goku's story time...
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Goku: Are you ready for a story everyone?
Pan: YAY! Story!
Goku: Alright, everyone gather 'round.
(Pan looks around)
Pan: Grandpa...it's only me.
Goku: Oh...
Vegeta: Forgetting someone?
Goku: Vegeta! You made it!
Vegeta: You'd think I'd miss you making a fool out of yourself? I can't let Pan have all the fun.
Pan: Why can't I have all the fun?
Vegeta: Ya just can't!
(Silence)
Vegeta: Begin your story Kakarott...
Goku: Right. (opens book) This story begins a long, long time ago...I can tell this because of their old timey clothes in the pictures. Seems these two kids named, uhm...Franz and Gertrude, were being kinda bratty to their parents, and the parents were like, "oh, I ain't havin' that."
Vegeta: Pfft...
Goku: So they sent their two kids out for some chilli, knowing that Pete's Chilli Hut was MILES away from where they lived. They lived in the...desert or...something.
Pan: Grandpa, this story isn't making sense...why would they have to get chilli if they were being bad?
Goku: Franz and Gertrude don't like Chilli.
Pan: Oh...?
Vegeta: Stop interrupting, child!
Goku: So out they went, in search of a Chilli Hut that just wasn't there. They walked for what seemed like...minutes, and finally came across a dense rainforest.
Vegeta: In the middle of the desert? Absurd!
Goku: Well the desert's gotta end somewhere! Moving on. Franz and Gertrude entered the forest, not knowing if they'd be able to make their way back once they stepped foot in it. Franz was smart, and he brought a can of Chick Peas** with him. He always came prepared.
Pan&Vegeta: Chick Peas??
Goku: Yes.
(Kinda long pause)
Goku: Anyway, he opens up the can of Chick Peas--
Vegeta: With what? His handy can opener??
Goku: Can I just tell the story? He opens the can of Chick Peas and starts to drop them to the ground, one by one, after every few steps. They could use the trail of Chick Peas to find their way back.
Vegeta: Ingenious...
Goku: Quite. But, there's a twist to the story! For a hungry little rabbit, with an effinity for Chick Peas, was following them and eating the Chick Peas as they went along. It was such a cute lil bunny too...it was all white, and had a lil pink nose and he'd get up in his hind legs and be all...*sniff sniff sniff*
Vegeta: KAKAROTT!
Goku: Oh, sorry...heh. Later in the day, after hours of listening to Gertrude complain about how hot it was, and how much her feet hurt, and how she was thirsty, and how she thought she heard someone singing a horrible country song in the distance, and how something smelled funny...and so on, Franz decided they should rest on this big rock shaped like Jay Leno's head that he found. It was then he looked back, and noticed that his trail of Chick Peas had vanished. Vanished down the throat of the KYOOTIEST bunny wunny--
Vegeta: Ahem..
Goku: "You doo-doo head!" Gertrude yelled, scaring away all living things within an 8 mile radius.
Vegeta: Why 8 miles?
Goku: It's better than 9.
Vegeta: I...guess...
Goku: "Well this just is NOT crescent fresh!" Franz said. Suddenly, a heavenly scent wafted past them. "What could it be?" Asked Franz. It was mashed potatoes. Only mashed potatoes could smell so good. We're talking the good kind here, the one with the lumps and stuff. Yeahhhhh...so they followed the scent, and low and behold, there was a little shack, made completely out of mashed potatoes!
Vegeta: A mashed potatoe...house?
Goku: Yeah, you know! Like when you play with your food and make a house out of mashed potatoes. It's like that only it's...bigger. And it had a chimney with gravy coming out of it. And there were these little pearl onions that made up the trim...
Vegeta(to Pan): It sounds like Kakarott's in his own little fantasy world.
Pan: D-DUH! He has been since he started this whole story.
Goku: ...and they kept eating and eating, even though it was going straight to their thighs, they just couldn't stop. The potatoe house was so yummy and...
Pan: Look at the book he's "reading." It says, Yina Jones' Guide to Better Cooking on it. He's reading a cook book!
Vegeta: *gasp* Kakarott! I demand you stop reading immediately!!
Goku: What, the story's no good?
Vegeta: NO! You're reading a cook book! You're just making up some ridiculous story! I've never heard such idiocy in all my life!
Goku: No one made you come here and listen ya know...
Vegeta: I--well...GRRRRR, BE SILENT!
Goku: Don't act like you didn't like the story, you seemed pretty interested in it.
Vegeta: I was not! I'm going home! (Flies throught the ceiling)
(Pause)
Goku: I bet you anything he goes home and eats some mashed potatoes...
Pan: Oh Kami...
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**For those who are Chick Pea impaired, Chick Peas are also known as Garbanzo beans.
A/N: This is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever written...muh brain!