Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Goku the Monkey King ❯ Troublemaker ( Chapter 3 )

Goku the Monkey King

Part 3

Narrator: (clears throat) When Monkey returned home, he found that his friends were under attack!

[The monkeys are fighting people and other animals. Goku rushes in and saves them.]

Narrator: After that, Monkey decided that he needed a weapon, so he went to see the Dragon King of the Western Ocean.

Goku: (sticks one foot in the water and immediately pulls it back up, shivering) Brrrrr! I'm not going in there! It's freezing!!!

Narrator: You're gonna go in there, (picks up a rock and tosses it in the air once and catches it) or else!

Goku: Awww! (strips down to a pair of boxers) Do I have to?

Narrator: Do you want me to hit you again?

Goku: No.

Narrator: All right then, jump in.

Goku: (Dives into the ocean and swims downward)

Bulma: (Taps the narrator on the shoulder) Hey, um, how's he gonna breathe on the bottom of the ocean?

Narrator: There's a tank and head bubble on the way down. He'll find it.

Goku: (Resurfaces, gasping for breath)

Narrator: What are you doing back up here?!

Goku: I couldn't find it!

Narrator: Go back down and find it!

Goku: (dives again, this time finding the tank and bubble)

Narrator: As I was saying, Monkey went to the Dragon King of the Western Ocean to get a weapon.

[King Kai is sitting on a throne. Goku comes into the cave and takes his bubble off]

King Kai: Well now! What can I do for you?

Goku: I need a weapon, and I've heard that you've got tons. Mind if I have one?

King Kai: (blinks) Uh,… sure. Lemme show you what I've got. (leads Goku to a room full of weapons and armor)

Goku: Wow! Cool! (picks out some armor for himself) You've got a lot of cool weapons in here! Where'd you get it all?

King Kai: My retailer. (Gets hit in the head with a frying pan) OUCH!!

Narrator: One more screw up and you're dead!

King Kai: Ok! Ok! Yeesh, can't you take a joke? (to Goku) Hey, Monkey, how about this weapon? (offers him a giant sword)

Goku: (takes the sword and looks at it) It's pretty, but I don't use swords.

Narrator: (Hits Goku in the head with a rock) Say your lines the RIGHT way!

Goku: Ow! (rubs the many lumps on his head) Ok! Uh… what was it again? Oh yeah! Uh, sorry, but this weapon's not heavy enough for me.

King Kai: Not… heavy… enough?

Goku: Yeah, if it's too light, I can't do a thing with it. What else do you have?

King Kai: Lemme see… (rummages through a chest and pulls out a huge club) How about this one?

Goku: (takes the weapon and checks it out) No… still too light. It's gotta be heavier.

Narrator: The Dragon King offered every weapon he had to Monkey, but none were heavy enough for Monkey's taste. Desparate, the Dragon King offered the weapon no one could have.

King Kai: Ok, here's my final offer. (Leans against a huge pillar reaching up to heaven.) This is Nyoi-bou, the heaviest staff in the universe. It can shrink to any size and always weighs the same. If you can pull it out, it's yours.

Goku: Sure thing! (Heaves and pulls Nyoi-bou out of the ground) Haha! Cool! I guess it's mine now, right?

King Kai: Ah!!………I don't believe it! He actually pulled it out! Oh! Uh,… yeah, it's yours now!

Goku: (Shrinks Nyoi-bou to hand size) All right! This staff kicks! (Straps it to his back)

Narrator: Pssst! Goku! You're supposed to shrink it to pin-size and stick it in your ear!

Goku: Eeww! That's gross! I'm not sticking that thing in my ear! That's nasty!

Narrator: (Points a shotgun at Goku.) Look, either stick it in your ear like you're supposed to or I'm gonna blow you away!

Goku: Eww! (Reluctantly shrinks the Nyoi-bou and carefully sticks it in his ear) What if someone tries shoving it through my head? What'll I do then?

Narrator: (Slaps hand over her face and slides it down disgustedly) Look, I didn't mean 'stick it in your ear canal.' I meant peirce your ear and use it like an earring!

Goku: But that'll hurt!

Narrator: Oi! The strongest in the universe, and he can't even take a little pain! FINE!!! STICK IT TO YOUR STUPID BACK! SEE IF I CARE!!!!!!!

Goku: It's obvious you do.

Narrator: SHADDAP!!!!! (Pauses to catch her breath)

King Kai: (Whispers to Goku) Touchy, isn't she?

Goku: (nods)

Narrator: Ok now, where were we?

Goku: I just got the Nyoi-bou.

Narrator: Oh yeah, that's right. Ok. After Monkey got the Nyoi-bou from the Dragon King, he went to pay the King of Death a visit.

[Goku is seen walking through Hell, looking curiously at all the flames.]

Goku: Whoa! What a weird place!

King Yemma: Glad you like it! (snickers)

Goku: I hate to bother you, but could I please see the list of all the people that're gonna die?

King Yemma: Uh, sure, but… why would you want to do that?

Goku: Oh, just to see when I'm gonna die.

King Yemma: Sorry, no can do- Hey! Come back here with that!

Goku: (Grabs the list and scratches off all of his friends' names and his own) Haha! Now I'm really immortal!

King Yemma: You little punk! How dare you!!!?

Narrator: Monkey escaped and rejoined his friends, sharing the good news with them. But the Dragon and Death kings were furious and complained to the Jade Emperor of Heaven.

[Kami is seated on a heavenly throne. King Kai and King Yemma approach]

King Kai: Your Magesty, Monkey came to my palace at the bottom of the sea, bugged me for a weapon, and took the greatest one I had!!!

King Yemma: Yeah, and then he had the nerve to come down to Hell and scratch a bunch of names off the list like it was legal!

King Kai: You gotta put a stop to this!

Kami: Wait a minute… are you telling me that the Monkey from the Jade Egg did this?

Kai & Yemma: Yes!

Kami: I can't believe he's giving you this much trouble. I'll send some troops to put a stop to him.

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Sorry for the lack of updates! I was working on my other fic! Hope you like this!