Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Life Through the Looking Glass ❯ Calling For Me ( Chapter 22 )

I know it's not much this chapter, but I've already started the next. I do have a competition on Thursday and another some time soon. Not quite sure yet. It depends on how well we do Thursday night. Which is of course my friends birthday. So we're going out for pizza afterwards and I'm getting him Shawn of the Dead. Today is my birthday. YEAH FOR ME!!! I'm finally 17 today. Which means I can now legally go to `R' rated movies. So kickass. I had a party this weekend. All my friends stayed over. Most of them anywayz. I got my class ring for my birthday. And I got a bunny. Which I have been wanting for two years. I always said that if you beg my mother enough she'll give in and get you what you want. She didn't know what else to get me so she just gave me cash. Which is cool with me. But I have been having these massive migrains and the doctors don't know what's wrong. So my mother wants them to do blood work on me and I just want an MRI and call it a day. That way I'll know if there is anything in there or not. Yeah, so anywayz. Enough about me and now about the story. I know this chapter is short, but it was a filler. I needed to get this last poem out of the way. If you are counting, yes I know this is only number nine. Number ten comes later. Trust me. I know all and see all (At least with this fic).

Chapter 22: Calling for Me 

Have you ever felt lost? Almost empty inside? As if a part of you were missing that you swore you didn't have. A part of yourself that you didn't have and didn't need before you fell. Just before you fell in love. But when you did fall in love, it became a part of you... and now that it's gone, it took everything that was inside of you. Everything that you locked away from the world. All your deepest, darkest secrets are gone yet still there, this time, visible for all to see. All who look could see your fears…your desires…and your past. Who you really are, and because of this, they see more fear. You could no longer hide from the pain and the loss of not only your love, but also the You, you lost so long ago. The tears that you hide can no longer stay hidden. Standing with your love gave you the strength to stand alone. And you realize that you are not lost…but found. 

-From the Diary of Son, Pan

(Son, Carina) 

It had been so long since that night, I could never forget it. No matter how hard I tried. I couldn't fix it, or make it better. I was stuck with the way things were. I knew I needed to talk to Trunks, but I knew he was still pretty mad. After what I had done to him, I couldn't blame him. I figured it was the best right now. Just give him some time to cool off and think things through. I knew things would change. Okay, so I didn't. I hoped they would. I hoped that he would understand what I was trying to do. To understand me, and understand why I did what I did. 

But it wasn't as if he was innocent in the whole thing. He lied to me about Marron. He said he didn't have a girlfriend. He lied to me about that. I don't know if he realized it yet, that he had lied to me, but then again, he was too upset right now. He might remember that he wasn't telling the truth when he calms down. But I knew he wasn't telling the truth, he didn't know I was lying. I guess there was a difference, but not much. We both lied, and we both deserved what we got. But that doesn't mean I don't regret it. I don't know if he regrets it. He probably doesn't. He's probably happy that he found out. But he said he was in love with me. No, not me, Carina. 

I quietly stood up from my desk and walked to my bed. I laid down on it, hoping to figure something out. How was I going to talk to him tomorrow? Was he even going to be at school? Maybe I should call him. All these questions but no answers. I told him because I didn't want him to hate me, but I guess that I ruined that didn't I? My life isn't exactly going my way right now. Then again, when is ever going my way? 

“When Trunks came into my life,” I reminded myself allowed. “Even though I hated the thought of even being in the same room as him, the thought of marrying him started to sound like a good idea. Now it's just a distant memory. His lips on mine, his arms around me.” I put my arms around me as I felt a sudden chill come over my body. But I knew, that one warmth would be able to stop this chill. His. Trunks'. But he wanted me to change. To be like him. And for him to be like all of the other fashionable people, with their nose in the air not even bothering to pay the lower class a glance or a nod. That's not who I was. That's not who I wanted to be. 

I know that everything happens for a reason, but that doesn't mean that they are always explained or understood. The butterfly effect I suppose. One small thing can lead to something big. How could all this heartache lead to something greater? Something awe-inspiring, that just takes your breath away. It couldn't be helped I guess, heartbreak just follows me I suppose.

Calling For Me

 

Tears of blood

Pain of truth.

Calling for me

While I hide from you.

 

Truth be told

A massacre of lies.

Calling for me

Hurting while I hide.

 

Pain in my heart

As I hear from you.

Calling for me

Not knowing what to do.

 

Blind to the world

You see not a thing.

Calling for me

We float on wings.

 

Pointless journey

No blood in my veins.

Calling for me

Ambition dying in vain.

 

No longer seeking

The end has come.

Calling for me

Look for me above.