Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Monster ❯ Chapter 6 ( Chapter 6 )

"I have these dreams," I told him, swallowing more and more of my drink, feeling it slip down to my collarbone when I missed my lips. "I have dreams of killing people. Of raping people. I haven't the faintest amount of guilt or reason. No goal or justification. I simply do it."

His soft stare never wavered, his eyes intent on me and yet lacking their usual harshness. He seemed pleased with my admittance, drunk as I was becoming and irritating as I felt with my tongue tripping up my words at every sentence.

"More importantly," I added, much to his adoration. "I enjoy it. I enjoy doing it."

I paused, swallowing hard, gazing at the table top as I saw myself committing these atrocities once more.

"My God," I breathed. "I love it."

I cocked my head to the side, sliding my eyes up to meet his own.

"Does that make me evil?"

He seemed to consider for a moment, letting the music flood my senses as I allowed myself to drown in it momentarily, becoming one with the flowing beat and nasally sound of a violin screaming in an eerie tune to the vampiric music. I wanted to dance suddenly, to let the sounds move my body in a sexual way, to make me smooth and graceful as the music itself. To become one with the Goddesses on the dance floor, and to be one of the fluttering lights that cast shadows and tints to the creamy skin beneath.

"Do you want to be evil?" Vegeta asked suddenly, awakening me to the sound of his voice, music in itself. I examined him for a moment, forgetting his words and their possible implications and staring at the wondrous androgyny that he was. Was he REALLY that beautiful? He suddenly looked inhuman to me, though I knew his Saiyan heritage was to blame. He looked beautiful in an unearthly way, an impossible way, his skin gleaming with health, his eyes like two black marbles against his face. His lips like two deep burgundy bows on his mouth, thick and dark like a woman's.

"Do you want to be evil?" he asked again, smiling at my admiration of him that was so completely obvious, I would have fallen to shame in my normal state. But I wasn't normal was I? I was positively drunk.

"No." I said seriously. "No. I want to be as I am now. To be innocent in all things but my dreams, which even I realize cannot be helped."

"Ah, but what is evil Kakarot?" he asked me in a coy voice, lowering his gaze to me. "Tell me what is the definition of evil, or rather, give me an example."

I thought for a moment, as his request seemed sincere.

"Killing is evil. Raping is evil."

"Is sex evil?"

I thought for a moment, his eyes on me through the shadows and the darkness, waiting it seemed, for any answer or any excuse I could give him. Was sex evil?

"I think it can be." I answered truthfully, drinking another swig of Remy Martin, against what logic instructed me. "I think anything can be evil if used in the wrong way, with the wrong motives or intentions."

"Do you truly believe that?" he asked, moving a little closer to me. "Or has your time spent with these human creatures altered your perception of good and evil? Do you believe as they do, or as your instinct commands you to? Eventually, their narrow-minded ideas are bound to rub off on you Kakarot, what I'm asking, is in your mind, untainted with their lies, do you find killing and raping wrong? Or rather, do you enjoy the idea and simply haven't allowed yourself to try them out yet?"

"Are you telling me that they aren't wrong?" I spat in disgust. "You act like the humans are barbarous in their belief in right and wrong and yet you ask me these questions! Like I'm limiting myself to what they believe. Like I'm missing out because I haven't done the unthinkable and exercised these nightmares!"

"I'm merely trying to understand you." He said calmly in his defense. "I'm simply wondering how you tick, what makes you turn. You act like a simpleton all of the time. You use incompetence as a forefront for possible genius to escape the suspicions of anyone who may see intelligence as a threat. You think I don't notice but you're not what you seem to be and deep down," he moved forward, his eyes down. "deep down you know it."

"I don't know what you're talking about." I said defensively, trying to maneuver my eyes away from him.

"Oh, but I think you do." He said darkly. "You act so stupid when things are at their worst. When everyone expects a good answer, you spit out sentence fragments and behave like a child. When you're supposed to be the hero, when you fail or when you suspect that you will, ignorance comes in to play. It's your safety net. Your hiding place when you run out of options. Do you know that the most evil of killers, the most malicious, sadistic monsters in the world are usually the least expected?"

He looked at me intently, studying me like a book.

"People often describe them as so innocent, so kind and gentle. So…….. childlike. It's the quiet ones you have to watch, they say. Oh, but I disagree. I think it's the ones that pretend to be stupid, to be so pure that they're untouchable by sin. I think you're constantly trying to hide what you really are. I think you hate the being you might become if you ever stopped running from them. Tell me, would they would find killing and sex so despicable as you?"

I groaned deep in my throat, searching my mind for a comeback, for a question or for an answer that wasn't there.

"What's your point Vegeta?" I said irritably, a tone I wasn't accustomed to using. I pulled my hands through my hair, my fingers scraping over my scalp. "You're trying to say that I'm evil? That I just pretend to be good and inside I'm actually just a rapist or murderer waiting to get out?"

"I think part of you may be."

"You're not serious." I said rudely, pushing my hands against the table as I stretched backwards, trying to show my distaste in this conversation. "So you're implying that a part of me wants to kill people?"

"I'm saying," he whispered coyly, coming towards me and placing both hands on the sides of my cheeks, my eyes prey to his inhumane beauty once again. "I'm saying that if this part of you exists, Goku, than I'd love to meet him."

I looked at him strangely, my eyebrows crinkling in my confusion. I was beginning to feel uncomfortably hot, sweat beading on my forehead and my breathing feeling pressurized. I looked from one of his eyes to the other, seeing how the light almost made them iridescent.

"Goku?" I asked him. "Vegeta, you actually called me Goku."

Suddenly the room began to tip, my head swimming in the fairytale dancers, blood and flesh and every material in the room becoming one as they danced to the pounding music that strangely had color as it roared from the speakers. The lights spat forth smoke it seemed, so bright was their shades, like living creatures as they pumped and twisted to the deafening beat.

"Yes…" breathed Vegeta, suddenly so close to me that in my state I felt I could taste his presence. His hands were on my chest, my eyes falling around in my head, swimming between my lids as I caught glimpses of his dark smile, his sharp canines looking hungry as the light gleamed off of them.

"Yes, I called you Goku." I heard his voice say. "And now? I want to meet Kakarot."

I blacked out, awakening as we were suddenly spinning on the dance floor, the crowds swimming in the nasally, screaming violin music that shrieked through the chaos, accompanied with horrific baritone voices all holding the same tune as the violin, sounding like an eerie Beethoven musical. It was terrifying music and my senses were on high alert, my nerves stiff as he twirled me through the dancers, the floor trembling with the sounds.

I began to black out again, little squares and dots blinding my vision as I was spinning around at his command, his hands on me as my head buckled backwards and all I could see was the occasional flip and twirl of the lights on the ceiling. I began to sink to the floor, my body numb and weak. But he had me, holding me there as I had no strength of my own, prey to any machination of his wicked heart's desire. His hot breath blew the tiny hairs on my face, his cold, malicious eyes scanning my helpless features, a devilish smirk twisting his gorgeous face.

I felt our feet leave the ground, the crowd twisting around us as we levitated, still turning to the beat of the music. Unaware of the true power behind the creature that held me, the humans beneath us cheered at this new spectacle, believing it to be all planned out, artistry for their perverse eyes to behold. Little did they know that I was nothing more than a vulnerable bystander, a puppet or doll, horrified as we reached the ceiling and my back was thrown against it, Vegeta pinning me there.

"Look," He whispered into my ear, his entire body pressed against my own as I stared down at the dancing, promiscuous creatures that twirled beneath us. "See the world through your true eyes and tell me that you don't see them as insects waiting to be squashed. Behold with your true self, the beauty in their demise, the purity of taking their souls for your own pleasure."

To my horror, I realized in the instance, as my mind began to blank out once more, as I stared down at the mounds and piles of human flesh, the light gleaming off of their naked skin, that this was my dream. The similarities stunned me and I felt my eyes widened at the orgy beneath my body.

"Tell me that you wouldn't love to watch them all die Kakarot." Vegeta breathed against my neck, pulling back to look at me. His hands held me pinned against the ceiling as he remained beneath me, his palms flat against the surface that held my body.

Suddenly his lips were upon my own. Had I blacked out again? Had I said or done something to encourage this? Was I imagining it all in my intoxicated and drugged state? He pushed his tongue into my mouth and while my mind was screaming with confusion, my body obeyed as if it were no longer my own. Like I had surrendered it to his command rather than mine.

He kissed me in a sickening way, with no feeling, no passion or concern, but rather a twisted, sociopathic detachment that made me indescribably nauseous. And then his mouth left mine, his lips wet and full as he pulled back, gazing into my face with a triumphant, almost hateful look.

"I want you to know, it will NEVER be more than this."

And just like that, he dropped me, helpless and weak as I blacked out entirely, my body only registering when my back smacked against the concrete of the dance floor.