Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Onnafied ❯ A little bit of a mess ( Chapter 18 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Miyanon 
Anime/Manga: Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Comedy / Action | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 01.28.2006 | Updated On: 01.28.2006 | Pages: 4 | Words: 3.4K | Visits: 260 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Comedy / Action | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 01.28.2006 | Updated On: 01.28.2006 | Pages: 4 | Words: 3.4K | Visits: 260 | Status: Work In Progress
Disclaimer: Don't own it, never will.
A/N: Uh... hi guys! How ya been? Miss me? *gives a nervous smile* Sorry about the really, really long wait. Just know that my heart is still in the story, even if I might not update on a regular basis due to unnatural causes (such as my school starting on August 13th *gag*). Plus I'm in charge of my school's Anime Club! It's so cool. Anyway, on with the long awaited update!
****
16 days. It would be sixteen days until Kakarotto has to be wished back to a girl, the ouji thought to himself as he laid down on the couch, while staring up at the creamy white ceiling and the rotating fan. The motions of the fan were making him drowsy and he mumbled to himself, "Maybe I'm going at this whole thing the wrong way... again... What if I just need to be bold and state my feelings to her out loud?" His eyes widened as he goes over the idea in his head. Imagining all the worst possible outcomes, he blushed and covered his face with a yellow cushion, "No way! No freakin' way! I can't! I have to think of something else!"
Groaning, he flopped onto his belly and turned to the TV for guidance, "I just need to relax a little bit. Then something will come to me," turning the television on.
Instantly the TV blurted out, [Are you having problems with your crush?]
Vegeta blinked, "Huh?" waiting for the TV to fade into view.
A strong chinned man with a cheesy smile and curly blond hair flashed his sparkling teeth at the viewers. The ouji raised an eyebrow, looking at the man incredulously.
[Maybe you crush just broke up or maybe she's still with him! Maybe she's married. Or maybe-]
Vegeta muttered, "You've got to be kidding me," ready to change the channel until the TV suddenly blurted out once more.
[Or maybe she was originally a man and is considering another sex change!]
The ouji paused just before he hit the button and said a quick, "Wow."
[If so then give a call to 1-800-55-LOVE! We'll send a beautiful love letter to the girl of your dreams guaranteeing her newfound love for you or twice your money back! Just call 1-800-555-LOVE! Or you'll regret it for the rest of your life!]
Vegeta gazed at the screen in wonder and his hand began snaking towards to the phone subconsciously, but his other hand grabbed it before it even touched the handle. "Holy crap! I'm being brainwashed by a primitive human audio instrument!" He grabbed the remote and tried changing the channel, but to his horror, it had the same advertisement on every single channel of the cable.
Looking very ticked off, the blond advertiser yelled, [Don't you dare even try turning the TV off, Vegeta Oujisama!] Vegeta dropped the remote and his jaw, completely stunned and creeped out. [Will you stop being so stubborn and call already?!]
The ouji continued staring at it in mute paralyzed shock. Suddenly it roared, [CALL DAMMIT! OR I'LL INFLICT MY WRATH UPON YOU!] With a small yipe Vegeta tried scrambling away from the thing off the couch, only to have himself and the furniture tip over backwards. With a giant hop, the TV jumped up and landed on the coffee table, right in front of Vegeta. Growling dangerously, it said, [You don't want to see what I can do to you, kid.]
After a numb moment of staring up at the TV, Vegeta suddenly screamed at the top of his lungs and went running away from the living room, yelling, "THE TV'S POSESSED!! THE TV'S POSESSED!!"
On the coffee table the TV muttered, [Aw dammit,] and went a-hopping along after the ouji, pulling its plug out of the wall.
The ouji looked back down the hall and mentally screamed at himself, {I can't believe I'm running from a television!} He rounded the hall's corner and ran into a random room to hide.
Unfortunately he picked a bad door.
Following a shrill shriek, he rushed right back out, eyes wide and his face as red as a beet tomato. He called out to the door, "Sorry Kakarotto!"
Out of the blue he heard a low rumble above him. Looking up he paled, seeing the words, 'DIE OUJI,' written in black mist.
Vegeta stared at it disbelief, "First a possessed demon TV and now this?" He screamed up at the ceiling, "WHY DO YOU HATE ME GOD?!" just as the words formed into a large, black storm cloud. He yelled at the cloud, trying to prevent his ultimate doom, "Come on Bardock! It was only a misunderstanding! I swear!"
Then came the ka-thunk, ka-thunk, of the possessed TV coming down the hallway. It called out, [Bardock? Dockers! What the heck are you doing here?!] The cloud gave a low rumble, but apparently the TV understood it. [What do you mean the same as me?! I'm trying to help the situation here! Every time you come it's always trouble! You said you wouldn't electrocute him anymore!]
Another rumble, gaining in volume.
Sounding indignant, the TV yelled, [How dare you say that to me?! I'll show you who's boss!]
It zapped the cloud with a jolt of electricity. The storm cloud responded with a roar of thunder and zapped the TV back. Only to get zapped again. All too quickly, the TV and the cloud are in an all out zapping war.
Vegeta stayed far off to the side, making sure not to get caught up in the crossfire. Watching it for about another minute, he slowly shook his head and walked over to his room, "I'm going insane. That has to be it. I'm going completely insane."
The TV and the cloud ignored his retreat completely, too absorbed in their war.
****
Once over in his room, Vegeta pulled his TV out of its socket and dumped it out of the window. Then he flopped onto his bed and went back to staring at the ceiling. However the advertisement number started floating about his mind, haunting him. Annoyed, he muttered to himself, "No way! I'm not going to call a number that a possessed TV gave me!"
[Come on, you know you want to.]
"The TV's the devil!"
[I am not!]
Vegeta paused his debate and jumped off the bed to open his bedroom door. Outside, the possessed TV gave a sheepish grin and said in Bejita's voice, "Uh hi!"
The black cloud was currently trying to punch the TV, but being only made up of gas it did absolutely nothing.
The ouji narrowed his eyes, finally recognizing the voice, "Father, that's you isn't it?"
The TV sweatdropped nervously, [Uh... You could say that...]
His son crossed his arms and leaned against the doorframe, "You had something to do with Kakarotto's change didn't you?"
The TV went static and yelled, [KUSO!]
Vegeta smirked triumphantly, "I knew it!" His eyes flicked up to the cloud, giving it a wary look, "What's his story?"
[Oh Bardock? He went along with the idea. He just had to be 'convinced' into it. But besides that, he's just taking his overprotective father of his baby girl role very seriously.] The cloud thundered again and zapped both royals with bolts of lightning. The TV zapped it back, [Will you stop that?! I'm trying to have a talk with my son!] The cloud rumbled quietly as if grumbling.
Vegeta demanded with a frown, "Why the heck do you want to help me so much anyway?! I mean, I'm grateful for the change in the first place! But you and Mother are really pushing it! Why?!"
[Two words. Grand-kids.]
At once the ouji blushed uncontrollably, "Father!" acting very much like a teenager having a sex talk with his parents. Then he paused and said, "Hey wait a sec, you already have grandchildren anyway!"
The TV snorted, [Oh they don't count! Besides, I also thought it would be funny if Dockers and I were related.]
Cloud and ouji stared at the TV in disbelief.
[What?!]
Vegeta shook his head, "Nevermind. Just...nevermind." With a great sigh, the ouji went to the telephone in his room and called the forbidden number.
The TV turned on once more and you could see Bejita on the screen, holding a phone to his ear, [So you are going to let me help you.]
"I have a condition. If this doesn't work, then you better not try and help me again! You or Mother! I can do this on my own!"
Bejita saluted his son with a grin, [Yes sir!]
The ouji stared at the ou and frowned, "You know I really don't remember you being this weird."
[Several decades in Hell does that to you. Being serious all the time just makes it worse. So I compensated and got myself a sense of humor... It's good too! Want to hear a knock-knock joke?]
Cloud and ouji protested loudly and quickly. "NO! Thank you!"
Bejita frowned, [I'm not that awful.] He conjured up a letter with a small chant and sent it off with a small 'poof.' Then, giving a grin he declared, [And it's done! She'll get it tomorrow!] He checked his watch and said, [Well I have to go. I have places to go, people to see! I'll see ya later, son.]
Vegeta yelped, "Hey wait! Father before you go, I just want to let you know... because I never exactly told you before...Um...." He blushed and said quickly, "I love you Daddy."
Suddenly he heard quick snaps of thunder that sounded suspiciously like laughter and he glared up at the storm cloud, "What the heck are you still doing here?!"
The cloud formed into the misty black words, 'You still needing to pay for peeping, ouji.'
Vegeta paled, "Uh... Father?"
Bejita yelled angrily, [Bardock! You said you wouldn't electrocute him anymore!]
'Don't worry about that. I have much better plans in mind.' The storm cloud resolidified and flashed, gold sparks of energy flying about it.
The TV went static once more, [Uh... Vegeta, son, remember, the greatest battle is the battle not fought.]
Vegeta blinked, "What?"
[RUN!]
By then the cloud had formed into a humanoid form and a body appeared out of the mist. Bardock, in the flesh and ssj2 to boot. He cracked his knuckles and smirked evilly, "Miss me?"
The ouji turned as white as a sheet, once again faced against the freakishly tall and angry saiyajin angel of his nightmares. He screamed at the top of his lungs and ran away for his life in the opposite direction.
Bardock yelled, "You won't get away from me that easily!" He took a first running step, only to step on the hem of his robe and have a less than graceful fall onto his face. Bejita burst into laughter, projecting it loudly out of the TV. Bardock cursed, "Dammit! I need pants!" This just made the ou laugh harder.
The angel looked in the direction of the ouji to find him long gone and he sighed, "Dang it. I'm going to have to extract my revenge another time." Annoyed at the still humored TV, he demanded, "Do you really want me to smash that TV in? And why did you possess such a stupid thing anyway? You look ridiculous in a box like that."
Bejita stopped laughing at once and growled threateningly, [Do not make fun of the box! Or maybe you would feel better if I possessed you instead!]
The angel laughed, "You can't possess the dead, you idiot!"
[You still have your body! Of course I can!]
"Cannot."
[Can too!]
"Cannot!"
[Can too!]
"Cannot!"
[Can too!}
"Can too!"
[Cannot!]
"Can too!"
[CANNOT!] Bejita finally screamed.
The angel stopped and smirked, "Alright. You win. You can't."
The ou turned beet red, realizing that the lower class saiyajin just made him argue with himself. He clenched his fists, a vein threatening to pop at the back of his head. [I'll show you! Prepare to be possessed!]
A transparent form of a miniature Bejita flew out of the TV and up above Bardock. It started laughing maniacally in a high pitched impish voice and dive-bombed the angel....
Only to fly right through him and the floor. All that Bardock felt was a rush of cold flow through and fleets away. The angel sighed, "Idiot. My body's still up in Heaven anyway." He turned transparent himself and poked his head through the floor to assess the damage. He paled instantly.
Below him, right below him, he saw a blue haired woman lying down on the floor as if she just fell down like that. Several suitcases stayed strewn on the floor of the entranceway. A young purple haired kid kneeling by her side was shaking her arm, "Mom! Mom!"
Bardock muttered, "Aw crap!" He floated down to Bulma's body, invisible to all but her and poked her with a quick jolt of energy. Bulma's body jerked up from the floor, awake and alert. Trunks gave a sigh of relief, "Jeez, you scared me!"
Bulma gave him a frown, "Who the heck are you?"
Trunks paled, "Uh... Mom? You're joking right?"
At the word 'Mom' Bulma's eyes went wide and she turned to look at Bardock. The angel mouthed out, 'I think you accidentally possessed your son's imposter mate, Bulma. That brat's probably Trunks.'
Bulma's mouth rounded into a comprehending 'o' and she turned back to Trunks, "Of course I'm joking! Ha ha! What a laugh! Say I must've gotten my noggin' jogged up a little bit though, why don't you tell me what we're doing back here? Especially NOW?"
Trunks gave his mother a very odd look, "We're here because the conference is over, Mom. You already instituted world peace, solved world hunger, the water shortage problem, the gun problem, even the stinky porta potty problem! There was nothing left to do! I can't believe we stayed that long in the first place!"
Bulma's form sighed, "Well maybe we should go on vacation."
Trunks beamed, "Wow! Really? Can Goten come?"
His mother frowned in confusion, "Uh.... sure...."
The chibi cheered and went off to contact his friend. Turning calmly over to the vision of Bardock, BB (Bulma/Bejita) looked up at the angel. Suddenly BB grabbed the angel's robe and screamed in a panic, "How the hell do I get out of this thing?!"
His friend paled, "Wh-WHAT?! What do you mean?! You can't get out?! You got out of that TV thing!"
"That was an inanimate object! I didn't learn about exiting people! It's SLIGHTLY more complicated than that!"
Bardock looked up in thought, "Wait a sec, I think I read something about this." The angel held out his hand and a massive white and gold book poofed out of nowhere onto it. Flipping through half the pages, he said, "This is the official Angel handbook of basically everything. Ah ha! Here we go!
"Demon possessings. Once a demon possesses a mortal, there is no other way to bring out the demon other than force, even if the demon is willing to get out."
BB sighed, "Great. Just great!"
"Wait, there's more." Reading through it first Bardock's mouth slowly turned into a devilish, sly grin, "Methods for ridding the mortal of its demon.
"Trained exorcist.
"Holy Water.
"Ordained priest or pastor.
"Garlic and a cross. (For vampire cases only.)
"Soul rifting by a professional angel.
"In all cases, both demon and mortal will become undeniably saintly. For the demon it is only temporary. Not so for the mortal."
BB looked completely struck by this tidbit of news, muttering to himself, "There has got to be another way."
Bardock grinned and started rolling up his sleeves, "Fortunately I happen to be an expert at Soul Rifting. How holy do you want to be? Extra saintly? Super Christ? Or Ultra God?"
BB said weakly, "I think I'll pass for now." He flopped down on one of the entranceway chairs and thought out loud, "Looks like I'm stuck like this for a bit." Suddenly a wry smile formed on Bulma's face, "You know... Actually possessing this body may prove to be very useful. Very useful indeed..."
Bardock said with worry, "I really don't like that look on your face, Beets."
"Oh ho ho. Believe me, you're not going to like the cause of it any better."
The angel cried, "Bejita! You said you wouldn't help Vegeta out anymore!"
BB stroked Bulma's chin, "That's true enough. But that doesn't mean that Buruma can't!"
"Beets, the name is Bulma."
"....oh."
****
Meanwhile in some other part of the house, Goku sighed as she picked up a comb on top of her dresser and started to comb her hair. She was still wet from her shower and a green towel was wrapped up around her torso. She muttered to herself, very annoyed, "Stupid girly hair. Why the heck do I have to keep on brushing it everyday?" Suddenly she noticed a creamy enveloped with elegant letters of green ink on top of the dresser next to her wrist cuffs.
She picked it up and smiled at the sender, "From Vegeta Oujisama." Putting the comb down she started opening it up, wondering what the contents were. She got the piece of paper and started unfolding it in her hands to read it.
Suddenly she turned green in the face and went running for the bathroom connected to the bedroom, before she could even read a word.
There was a sudden knock at the door and someone calling, "Kayka? You there?" The door creaked open and Mirai came into the empty bedroom. He frowned in frustration, "Why can't I ever find her? I was sure she'd be here." He called out once more, "Kayka? Kayka, you in here?"
No reply, since Goku is too busy retching.
He stepped into the room, only to hear something crumpling beneath his feet. Blinking, he looked down and saw that he just stepped on a discarded piece of paper. "What in the world is this?" he wondered out loud, bending over to pick it up.
"Dear Kayka..." He kept on reading, going through it several times. He grinned, "Must be from a lover of hers. Whoever wrote this obviously put a lot of effort into this. A romantic at heart."
And he was just about to go off to hand the letter to Kayka personally, until he saw the name at the bottom of the page.
"Forever yours,
Love, Vegeta Oujisama....
****
A/N: Everyone gasp. Yeah, I decided to spice it up a bit. Hope you like. Maybe this can satisfy you guys for a while, while I try writing up the next chapter through my club meetings, Anime Club and Habitat for Humanity, and my IB and AP classes. Wish me luck. I need it. Desperately.
A/N: Uh... hi guys! How ya been? Miss me? *gives a nervous smile* Sorry about the really, really long wait. Just know that my heart is still in the story, even if I might not update on a regular basis due to unnatural causes (such as my school starting on August 13th *gag*). Plus I'm in charge of my school's Anime Club! It's so cool. Anyway, on with the long awaited update!
****
16 days. It would be sixteen days until Kakarotto has to be wished back to a girl, the ouji thought to himself as he laid down on the couch, while staring up at the creamy white ceiling and the rotating fan. The motions of the fan were making him drowsy and he mumbled to himself, "Maybe I'm going at this whole thing the wrong way... again... What if I just need to be bold and state my feelings to her out loud?" His eyes widened as he goes over the idea in his head. Imagining all the worst possible outcomes, he blushed and covered his face with a yellow cushion, "No way! No freakin' way! I can't! I have to think of something else!"
Groaning, he flopped onto his belly and turned to the TV for guidance, "I just need to relax a little bit. Then something will come to me," turning the television on.
Instantly the TV blurted out, [Are you having problems with your crush?]
Vegeta blinked, "Huh?" waiting for the TV to fade into view.
A strong chinned man with a cheesy smile and curly blond hair flashed his sparkling teeth at the viewers. The ouji raised an eyebrow, looking at the man incredulously.
[Maybe you crush just broke up or maybe she's still with him! Maybe she's married. Or maybe-]
Vegeta muttered, "You've got to be kidding me," ready to change the channel until the TV suddenly blurted out once more.
[Or maybe she was originally a man and is considering another sex change!]
The ouji paused just before he hit the button and said a quick, "Wow."
[If so then give a call to 1-800-55-LOVE! We'll send a beautiful love letter to the girl of your dreams guaranteeing her newfound love for you or twice your money back! Just call 1-800-555-LOVE! Or you'll regret it for the rest of your life!]
Vegeta gazed at the screen in wonder and his hand began snaking towards to the phone subconsciously, but his other hand grabbed it before it even touched the handle. "Holy crap! I'm being brainwashed by a primitive human audio instrument!" He grabbed the remote and tried changing the channel, but to his horror, it had the same advertisement on every single channel of the cable.
Looking very ticked off, the blond advertiser yelled, [Don't you dare even try turning the TV off, Vegeta Oujisama!] Vegeta dropped the remote and his jaw, completely stunned and creeped out. [Will you stop being so stubborn and call already?!]
The ouji continued staring at it in mute paralyzed shock. Suddenly it roared, [CALL DAMMIT! OR I'LL INFLICT MY WRATH UPON YOU!] With a small yipe Vegeta tried scrambling away from the thing off the couch, only to have himself and the furniture tip over backwards. With a giant hop, the TV jumped up and landed on the coffee table, right in front of Vegeta. Growling dangerously, it said, [You don't want to see what I can do to you, kid.]
After a numb moment of staring up at the TV, Vegeta suddenly screamed at the top of his lungs and went running away from the living room, yelling, "THE TV'S POSESSED!! THE TV'S POSESSED!!"
On the coffee table the TV muttered, [Aw dammit,] and went a-hopping along after the ouji, pulling its plug out of the wall.
The ouji looked back down the hall and mentally screamed at himself, {I can't believe I'm running from a television!} He rounded the hall's corner and ran into a random room to hide.
Unfortunately he picked a bad door.
Following a shrill shriek, he rushed right back out, eyes wide and his face as red as a beet tomato. He called out to the door, "Sorry Kakarotto!"
Out of the blue he heard a low rumble above him. Looking up he paled, seeing the words, 'DIE OUJI,' written in black mist.
Vegeta stared at it disbelief, "First a possessed demon TV and now this?" He screamed up at the ceiling, "WHY DO YOU HATE ME GOD?!" just as the words formed into a large, black storm cloud. He yelled at the cloud, trying to prevent his ultimate doom, "Come on Bardock! It was only a misunderstanding! I swear!"
Then came the ka-thunk, ka-thunk, of the possessed TV coming down the hallway. It called out, [Bardock? Dockers! What the heck are you doing here?!] The cloud gave a low rumble, but apparently the TV understood it. [What do you mean the same as me?! I'm trying to help the situation here! Every time you come it's always trouble! You said you wouldn't electrocute him anymore!]
Another rumble, gaining in volume.
Sounding indignant, the TV yelled, [How dare you say that to me?! I'll show you who's boss!]
It zapped the cloud with a jolt of electricity. The storm cloud responded with a roar of thunder and zapped the TV back. Only to get zapped again. All too quickly, the TV and the cloud are in an all out zapping war.
Vegeta stayed far off to the side, making sure not to get caught up in the crossfire. Watching it for about another minute, he slowly shook his head and walked over to his room, "I'm going insane. That has to be it. I'm going completely insane."
The TV and the cloud ignored his retreat completely, too absorbed in their war.
****
Once over in his room, Vegeta pulled his TV out of its socket and dumped it out of the window. Then he flopped onto his bed and went back to staring at the ceiling. However the advertisement number started floating about his mind, haunting him. Annoyed, he muttered to himself, "No way! I'm not going to call a number that a possessed TV gave me!"
[Come on, you know you want to.]
"The TV's the devil!"
[I am not!]
Vegeta paused his debate and jumped off the bed to open his bedroom door. Outside, the possessed TV gave a sheepish grin and said in Bejita's voice, "Uh hi!"
The black cloud was currently trying to punch the TV, but being only made up of gas it did absolutely nothing.
The ouji narrowed his eyes, finally recognizing the voice, "Father, that's you isn't it?"
The TV sweatdropped nervously, [Uh... You could say that...]
His son crossed his arms and leaned against the doorframe, "You had something to do with Kakarotto's change didn't you?"
The TV went static and yelled, [KUSO!]
Vegeta smirked triumphantly, "I knew it!" His eyes flicked up to the cloud, giving it a wary look, "What's his story?"
[Oh Bardock? He went along with the idea. He just had to be 'convinced' into it. But besides that, he's just taking his overprotective father of his baby girl role very seriously.] The cloud thundered again and zapped both royals with bolts of lightning. The TV zapped it back, [Will you stop that?! I'm trying to have a talk with my son!] The cloud rumbled quietly as if grumbling.
Vegeta demanded with a frown, "Why the heck do you want to help me so much anyway?! I mean, I'm grateful for the change in the first place! But you and Mother are really pushing it! Why?!"
[Two words. Grand-kids.]
At once the ouji blushed uncontrollably, "Father!" acting very much like a teenager having a sex talk with his parents. Then he paused and said, "Hey wait a sec, you already have grandchildren anyway!"
The TV snorted, [Oh they don't count! Besides, I also thought it would be funny if Dockers and I were related.]
Cloud and ouji stared at the TV in disbelief.
[What?!]
Vegeta shook his head, "Nevermind. Just...nevermind." With a great sigh, the ouji went to the telephone in his room and called the forbidden number.
The TV turned on once more and you could see Bejita on the screen, holding a phone to his ear, [So you are going to let me help you.]
"I have a condition. If this doesn't work, then you better not try and help me again! You or Mother! I can do this on my own!"
Bejita saluted his son with a grin, [Yes sir!]
The ouji stared at the ou and frowned, "You know I really don't remember you being this weird."
[Several decades in Hell does that to you. Being serious all the time just makes it worse. So I compensated and got myself a sense of humor... It's good too! Want to hear a knock-knock joke?]
Cloud and ouji protested loudly and quickly. "NO! Thank you!"
Bejita frowned, [I'm not that awful.] He conjured up a letter with a small chant and sent it off with a small 'poof.' Then, giving a grin he declared, [And it's done! She'll get it tomorrow!] He checked his watch and said, [Well I have to go. I have places to go, people to see! I'll see ya later, son.]
Vegeta yelped, "Hey wait! Father before you go, I just want to let you know... because I never exactly told you before...Um...." He blushed and said quickly, "I love you Daddy."
Suddenly he heard quick snaps of thunder that sounded suspiciously like laughter and he glared up at the storm cloud, "What the heck are you still doing here?!"
The cloud formed into the misty black words, 'You still needing to pay for peeping, ouji.'
Vegeta paled, "Uh... Father?"
Bejita yelled angrily, [Bardock! You said you wouldn't electrocute him anymore!]
'Don't worry about that. I have much better plans in mind.' The storm cloud resolidified and flashed, gold sparks of energy flying about it.
The TV went static once more, [Uh... Vegeta, son, remember, the greatest battle is the battle not fought.]
Vegeta blinked, "What?"
[RUN!]
By then the cloud had formed into a humanoid form and a body appeared out of the mist. Bardock, in the flesh and ssj2 to boot. He cracked his knuckles and smirked evilly, "Miss me?"
The ouji turned as white as a sheet, once again faced against the freakishly tall and angry saiyajin angel of his nightmares. He screamed at the top of his lungs and ran away for his life in the opposite direction.
Bardock yelled, "You won't get away from me that easily!" He took a first running step, only to step on the hem of his robe and have a less than graceful fall onto his face. Bejita burst into laughter, projecting it loudly out of the TV. Bardock cursed, "Dammit! I need pants!" This just made the ou laugh harder.
The angel looked in the direction of the ouji to find him long gone and he sighed, "Dang it. I'm going to have to extract my revenge another time." Annoyed at the still humored TV, he demanded, "Do you really want me to smash that TV in? And why did you possess such a stupid thing anyway? You look ridiculous in a box like that."
Bejita stopped laughing at once and growled threateningly, [Do not make fun of the box! Or maybe you would feel better if I possessed you instead!]
The angel laughed, "You can't possess the dead, you idiot!"
[You still have your body! Of course I can!]
"Cannot."
[Can too!]
"Cannot!"
[Can too!]
"Cannot!"
[Can too!}
"Can too!"
[Cannot!]
"Can too!"
[CANNOT!] Bejita finally screamed.
The angel stopped and smirked, "Alright. You win. You can't."
The ou turned beet red, realizing that the lower class saiyajin just made him argue with himself. He clenched his fists, a vein threatening to pop at the back of his head. [I'll show you! Prepare to be possessed!]
A transparent form of a miniature Bejita flew out of the TV and up above Bardock. It started laughing maniacally in a high pitched impish voice and dive-bombed the angel....
Only to fly right through him and the floor. All that Bardock felt was a rush of cold flow through and fleets away. The angel sighed, "Idiot. My body's still up in Heaven anyway." He turned transparent himself and poked his head through the floor to assess the damage. He paled instantly.
Below him, right below him, he saw a blue haired woman lying down on the floor as if she just fell down like that. Several suitcases stayed strewn on the floor of the entranceway. A young purple haired kid kneeling by her side was shaking her arm, "Mom! Mom!"
Bardock muttered, "Aw crap!" He floated down to Bulma's body, invisible to all but her and poked her with a quick jolt of energy. Bulma's body jerked up from the floor, awake and alert. Trunks gave a sigh of relief, "Jeez, you scared me!"
Bulma gave him a frown, "Who the heck are you?"
Trunks paled, "Uh... Mom? You're joking right?"
At the word 'Mom' Bulma's eyes went wide and she turned to look at Bardock. The angel mouthed out, 'I think you accidentally possessed your son's imposter mate, Bulma. That brat's probably Trunks.'
Bulma's mouth rounded into a comprehending 'o' and she turned back to Trunks, "Of course I'm joking! Ha ha! What a laugh! Say I must've gotten my noggin' jogged up a little bit though, why don't you tell me what we're doing back here? Especially NOW?"
Trunks gave his mother a very odd look, "We're here because the conference is over, Mom. You already instituted world peace, solved world hunger, the water shortage problem, the gun problem, even the stinky porta potty problem! There was nothing left to do! I can't believe we stayed that long in the first place!"
Bulma's form sighed, "Well maybe we should go on vacation."
Trunks beamed, "Wow! Really? Can Goten come?"
His mother frowned in confusion, "Uh.... sure...."
The chibi cheered and went off to contact his friend. Turning calmly over to the vision of Bardock, BB (Bulma/Bejita) looked up at the angel. Suddenly BB grabbed the angel's robe and screamed in a panic, "How the hell do I get out of this thing?!"
His friend paled, "Wh-WHAT?! What do you mean?! You can't get out?! You got out of that TV thing!"
"That was an inanimate object! I didn't learn about exiting people! It's SLIGHTLY more complicated than that!"
Bardock looked up in thought, "Wait a sec, I think I read something about this." The angel held out his hand and a massive white and gold book poofed out of nowhere onto it. Flipping through half the pages, he said, "This is the official Angel handbook of basically everything. Ah ha! Here we go!
"Demon possessings. Once a demon possesses a mortal, there is no other way to bring out the demon other than force, even if the demon is willing to get out."
BB sighed, "Great. Just great!"
"Wait, there's more." Reading through it first Bardock's mouth slowly turned into a devilish, sly grin, "Methods for ridding the mortal of its demon.
"Trained exorcist.
"Holy Water.
"Ordained priest or pastor.
"Garlic and a cross. (For vampire cases only.)
"Soul rifting by a professional angel.
"In all cases, both demon and mortal will become undeniably saintly. For the demon it is only temporary. Not so for the mortal."
BB looked completely struck by this tidbit of news, muttering to himself, "There has got to be another way."
Bardock grinned and started rolling up his sleeves, "Fortunately I happen to be an expert at Soul Rifting. How holy do you want to be? Extra saintly? Super Christ? Or Ultra God?"
BB said weakly, "I think I'll pass for now." He flopped down on one of the entranceway chairs and thought out loud, "Looks like I'm stuck like this for a bit." Suddenly a wry smile formed on Bulma's face, "You know... Actually possessing this body may prove to be very useful. Very useful indeed..."
Bardock said with worry, "I really don't like that look on your face, Beets."
"Oh ho ho. Believe me, you're not going to like the cause of it any better."
The angel cried, "Bejita! You said you wouldn't help Vegeta out anymore!"
BB stroked Bulma's chin, "That's true enough. But that doesn't mean that Buruma can't!"
"Beets, the name is Bulma."
"....oh."
****
Meanwhile in some other part of the house, Goku sighed as she picked up a comb on top of her dresser and started to comb her hair. She was still wet from her shower and a green towel was wrapped up around her torso. She muttered to herself, very annoyed, "Stupid girly hair. Why the heck do I have to keep on brushing it everyday?" Suddenly she noticed a creamy enveloped with elegant letters of green ink on top of the dresser next to her wrist cuffs.
She picked it up and smiled at the sender, "From Vegeta Oujisama." Putting the comb down she started opening it up, wondering what the contents were. She got the piece of paper and started unfolding it in her hands to read it.
Suddenly she turned green in the face and went running for the bathroom connected to the bedroom, before she could even read a word.
There was a sudden knock at the door and someone calling, "Kayka? You there?" The door creaked open and Mirai came into the empty bedroom. He frowned in frustration, "Why can't I ever find her? I was sure she'd be here." He called out once more, "Kayka? Kayka, you in here?"
No reply, since Goku is too busy retching.
He stepped into the room, only to hear something crumpling beneath his feet. Blinking, he looked down and saw that he just stepped on a discarded piece of paper. "What in the world is this?" he wondered out loud, bending over to pick it up.
"Dear Kayka..." He kept on reading, going through it several times. He grinned, "Must be from a lover of hers. Whoever wrote this obviously put a lot of effort into this. A romantic at heart."
And he was just about to go off to hand the letter to Kayka personally, until he saw the name at the bottom of the page.
"Forever yours,
Love, Vegeta Oujisama....
****
A/N: Everyone gasp. Yeah, I decided to spice it up a bit. Hope you like. Maybe this can satisfy you guys for a while, while I try writing up the next chapter through my club meetings, Anime Club and Habitat for Humanity, and my IB and AP classes. Wish me luck. I need it. Desperately.