Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ The Truth Hurts More ❯ Congratulations Kakarot ( Chapter 7 )

Chapter VII: Congratulations, Kakarot

 

LES: Another quick note. If you've watched SSJGozar's Alternate Reality Dragon Ball Z parodies, you'll know that “Mystic” Gohan has become something of one of his most common running jokes. And, while I don't agree with the near-constant Gohan-bashing, he does make some fair points with the word `Mystic'.

#1: It is a fan term. The word “Mystic” isn't anywhere in the Anime or the Manga. The proper term is “Ultimate” Gohan.

#2: It's not a `form'. What the old Kai did was give Gohan control over the Hidden Potential powers that he had since he was a child. It raised his base power level, not gave him a new form.

#3: Gohan is not incapable of becoming a Super Saiyan. He doesn't need to become a Super Saiyan! There's a difference. Gohan is the only character that could stand his own against Majin Buu without becoming a Super Saiyan. That is how powerful Gohan is.

LES: Therefore, you won't see the word “Mystic” in this fanfiction.

 

Bulma had long ago hired a private Doctor who had become the authority on Saiyan anatomy and physiology, someone who was paid a great deal to keep his mouth shut about the fact that there were aliens on Earth.

Gohan was now lying on his stomach on the examination table while the Doctor inspected his injured tail.

First I get hired to treat aliens… now I have a tailed half-alien. The Doctor thought to himself, thinking back to the good old days when he just treated humans.

“It's broken, all right.” The Doctor said.

“Oh! It's all my fault!” Videl gasped. “I'm so sorry, Gohan!”

“It's not your fault.” Gohan replied, winching as the Doctor bound his tail tightly so that it would heal correctly. “I shouldn't have left my tail out in the open.”

“You're damn right.” Vegeta said from his place leaning against the wall. “Why do you think we wrap our tails around our waist? To avoid foolish accidents like this.”

Bulma sighed heavily. “My ever-so-sensitive husband…”

“It's not my fault if that moron brat-spawn of Kakarot inherited his stupidity.” Vegeta commented.

“Again with the stupid jokes.” Goku commented.

“Is it my fault if you make it so easy?” Vegeta asked, smirking.

Goku rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to his son. “How are you feeling, Gohan?”

“It's pretty painful.” Gohan grunted. “I'm used to bodily injury, but this injury is somehow more painful than all those other injuries combined.”

“It's done.” The Doctor said as he tightened the wrapping one final time which nearly caused Gohan to cry out in pain. “Try to keep your tail still. Judging by how quickly you Saiyans can heal, I'd say your tail will be back to normal soon.”

“Oh man…” Gohan moaned.

“What?” Videl asked.

“Mom's gonna kill me when she finds out that I missed the second half of school today!” Gohan moaned.

“How could she? You got hurt! What would she expect, for you to sit in class with a broken tail?” Videl asked.

“You don't know my mother like I do.” Gohan said. “Nothing short of the end of the world is a good excuse for not studying. And, even then, she'd find a way to bring my textbooks to the afterlife.”

“Oh wow.” Videl said.

“Thank you, Doctor.” Bulma said, shaking his hand and reminding him why dealt with these obnoxious Saiyans and half-Saiyans. When their hands separated, a large amount of money was left in the Doctor's fist; a `tip' for his silence. As always, the bribe was gratefully accepted.

“Thank you, Mrs. Briefs.” The Doctor said, bowing himself respectfully out of the room.

Goku moved over to his son, and Videl moved out of the way for him. “Are you sure that it doesn't hurt too much?”

Gohan managed to crack a smile. “Well, I'll live, but I've definitely had better days, Dad.”

In the background, Bulma tugged on Vegeta's arm. “Stop pulling on me, blasted woman!”

“Vegeta, can't you see that this is a `Father-Son' moment?” Bulma huffed.

“No! What's that?”

“It's like when you train with Trunks, except without the pain and injuries.” Bulma explained.

Vegeta stared at her. “What's the point of that?”

“Let's just go!” Bulma said pointedly, pushing him out the door.

“Damnit, woman! How dare you push me?!? I am the Prince of all Saiyans!” Vegeta yelled from down the hallway.

Goku laughed. “Vegeta… he certainly makes life interesting.”

“That, he does.” Gohan agreed.

“Well, I guess I'll be going.” Goku said, putting two fingers to his forehead to prepare for the Instant Transmission. “I'll talk to your mother about this, and I'll even throw in `taking-the-blunt-of-her-aggression' for free.”

Videl jumped up. “Oh, you don't have to leave on my account.” Videl said. “He is your son.”

“It's fine.” Goku said. “I know my son, and he's survived much worse than this. It's painful, but he'll be fine.” His expression changed to one of concentration and he disappeared in a flash.

“That's a really neat trick.” Videl commented.

“Being able to transmit yourself at the speed of light would be a great thing to know.” Gohan commented, winching. “I really got to learn how to do that.”

“Are you in pain, Gohan?” Videl asked.

“Yeah.” Gohan answered. “But my father's right. I'll live.”

“Do you need me to get you anything?” Videl asked.

“No.” Gohan responded. “You don't have to stay here, you know. I don't feel like very good company right now.”

“I don't mind.” Videl said. “Just being with you is good enough company.”

Gohan made no reply.

~~~~~~~~~~

Vegeta had no idea what to do with himself. The woman had still not fixed his Gravity Room after it broke down last week with the slight help of a well-placed Ki blast.

Bulma had put him on the couch for three days because of it, blasted woman! It wasn't his fault if the Gravity Room couldn't handle a single Ki blast, even if he did hit the main computer.

He felt Kakarot's departure, but knew that he would be back soon. So, to pass the time until that moronic excuse for a Saiyan got back, he decided to do his second favorite activity aside from beating on Kakarot… raiding the refrigerator.

He snuck into the kitchen, on the constant look-out for Bulma, who always got pissed at him for his food-runs, for some odd reason.

A true Warrior runs on his stomach, after all.

The Saiyan Prince got himself a light (in Saiyan terms) snack to time him over until dinner. He settled down and began to eat.

Vegeta could hear no conversation coming from Kakarot's first brat's room, but didn't need to. He knew exactly what was going on with Kakarot's oldest brat.

The boy's Saiyan instincts had decided on that Satan girl to be his mate. But the stupid boy was hesitating. His damn human side was interfering.

Note to self: Beat the human out of Trunks so he's not a pansy like Kakarot's brat.

Suddenly, the noise level increased from `peacefully quiet' to `loud-enough-to-burst-Saiyan-eardrums'.

“Yow! Chi-Chi! Stop hitting me!” Vegeta spun around and saw an interesting sight.

Kakarot had obviously used his Instant Transmission power to teleport into Capsule Corp's kitchen (probably aiming for the Saiyan Prince) but he had accidentally brought his harpy mate along for the ride.

She was now using the Torturous Instrument of Frying Pan Doom â„¢ to `knock some sense' into Kakarot's empty head.

“How could you let Gohan skip out on school, Goku?!?” Chi-Chi yelled, still hitting her husband over his thick head with a very dented frying pan. “Don't you know how important Gohan's education is?!? How will he become a great scholar if he's skipping out of class left and right like it's nothing?!?”

“It's not like he was ditching, Chi-Chi!” Goku whined, trying to shield his head from his wife's fury. “He got hurt!”

“And whose fault is that?”

“Not mine!”

“Of course it's your fault!” Chi-Chi yelled. “He broke the tail that he inherited from you!”

“It's not like we planned it that way!”

As much as Vegeta enjoyed watching that harpy yell at Kakarot, their screeching was starting to annoy him. “Will you two morons stop that?” Vegeta growled, Goku and Chi-Chi froze. “You should be proud of your son, woman. He's turned into a fine Saiyan warrior despite having a shrieking harpy like you for a mother…” Vegeta's comment, however, was cut short when Chi-Chi hit him across the face with her frying pan.

“A shrieking harpy, am I?” Chi-Chi demanded. “I'll show you a shrieking harpy!” She prepared another swing with her pan.

But Goku quickly intercepted, catching the pan. The last thing they needed was for Chi-Chi to piss off Vegeta by formally introducing him to her frying pan. “Cheech, Gohan was hurt pretty badly. Remember how I was when you squeezed my tail that one time? Now, imagine how badly a Saiyan would be hurt if their tail was broken.” Goku said calmly. “Look, we'll both go to Gohan's school later and get his work for the next few days, okay?”

Chi-Chi glared at her husband while Vegeta stared in amazement. Did Kakarot just say the exact thing to calm down his harpy mate? Maybe he was smarter than Vegeta gave him credit for… Well… maybe just a little. Vegeta thought with a smirk.

Chi-Chi sighed. “Okay. Where is my son?”

“Down the hall, in the room that we stay in when we visit.” Goku said. “Videl is in with him.

“Videl?” Chi-Chi asked. Goku nodded, and then she smiled and left.

Vegeta crossed his arms over his chest, leaning casually on the table where his food still awaited him. “Well, Kakarot, I believe congratulations are in order… for several things in fact.”

“What for?”

“Well, you've finally managed to out-smart your harpy wife.” Vegeta said, smirking and tapping his own temple. “Be careful, Kakarot, you wouldn't want to hurt yourself.”

“Vegeta! I am capable of handling my own wife!”

“Oh, sure. That's why you are the most pussy-whipped Saiyan in the history of pussy-whipped Saiyans.” Vegeta commented.

“Well, you're one to talk, Vegeta. I hear that you broke the Gravity Room again. How many nights did Bulma make you sleep on the couch for that one?” Goku asked, flashing an arrogant Saiyan smirk.

Vegeta growled. “Three. Damnit, Kakarot! Don't chance the subject!”

“Okay… so what else?”

“Well, your brat is bonding with that human girl. I could smell it instantly.” Vegeta said. “It won't be long before the bond becomes complete. I'll give it two or three full moons at the most.”

“I all ready knew that.” Goku said, beginning to walk out, but he paused in the doorway. “Oh, and Congratulations to you too, Vegeta.”

“For what?”

“Oh, nothing much.” Goku said, almost managing to sound innocent. “I just happened to notice that Bulma's scent is a little different today. And her Ki's weird too, like it's storing itself up for something big.”

“Something… big?” Vegeta spat out brokenly, shocked.

“I hope it's a girl this time.” Goku said. “A daughter's just what you need.”

Vegeta stared at Goku in shock. “Are you shitting me, Kakarot, because I swear if you are…”

“Nope! Not at all!” Goku said. “I mean, it's early on, so even I barely noticed it. But I'm pretty sure.”

“Damnit!” Vegeta swore.

“Just watch, I bet Bulma's going to tell you soon.” Goku laughed.

“Oh God, this is just great! Another brat!” Vegeta moaned, leaving the kitchen in a daze.

Goku smirked again, and then decided to go and make sure that Chi-Chi wasn't giving their son too hard a time. He loved his wife, but he also knew better than anyone her fierce temper.

As he approached the door, the room sounded reasonably quiet, so she obviously wasn't yelling at him.

He opened the door and found her in the second to two modes that she had for her eldest son. One was angry, and the other being overbearing.

She had Gohan crushed in a pretty violent embrace while Gohan hissed in pain.

“Ow! Ow! Ow! Mom! You're kinda hurting me!” Gohan yelled desperately.

Chi-Chi ignored him and squeezed harder. “Oh my poor baby! What did those evil children do to you?!? Do you want to go back to home schooling, Gohan, so those nasty children can never hurt you again?”

“Mom! You're hurting me!” Gohan groaned.

This finally got through to Chi-Chi, and she let go of her eldest son. “Oh! I'm sorry!”

Once he was released, Gohan quickly pulled himself together. After all, he had suffered much worse injuries before. “Mom, I'll be fine. And it wasn't Erasa's fault. I shouldn't have left my tail out in the open.”

“Um… Gohan?” Goku began.

“I'm a little tired, Dad.” Gohan said.

Goku nodded. “It would be best if you stayed here tonight.” He said. “Are you gonna be all right here?”

“Sure, Dad. Could you, um… send in Vegeta?” Gohan asked.

Goku sighed. He could tell from the look in Gohan's eyes that something was bothering him. And Goku was hurt that Gohan would rather talk to the other Z-Warriors than him. Was there really a time when he told me everything? Goku wondered to himself. It was the price of his absences from Gohan's life, and Goku know that he would never be that close to his eldest son again. Hearing Gohan asked to speak to Vegeta just sunk that fact home.

Gohan caught the saddened look in his father's eyes, and he felt terrible for it. He didn't want to hurt his father. It was true that during the years of his deaths and absences, Gohan learned to see the other Z-Warriors as father-figures, but he still loved his father. This particular issue had more to do with the fact that there are just some topics that you don't want to discuss with your parents.

Piccolo was normally his first choice of a non-parental confidant, but Piccolo wasn't a Saiyan, so he would not understand Gohan's problem. Vegeta was really his only choice.

“Dad, I…” Gohan began.

“It's all right, son. I understand.” Goku said. “I gave up a lot of things seven years ago… some things that I know that I'll never fully get back.”

“I do still love you, Dad.” Gohan assured him. “It's just that I need to ask Vegeta something about…” He noticed that Videl was still in the room, so he cut himself off. “… Something that I don't feel comfortable talking to my parents about.”

“Huh?” Goku asked.

“He's talking about sex, Goku.” Chi-Chi said frankly with a small smirk. It was hard to tell that Chi-Chi was completely human the way she could pull off a Saiyan smirk.

Videl blushed in the background, but Gohan blushed more. “Ma—Mom!” Gohan stuttered. “Why do you have to be so obsessed with getting grandchildren?!?”

“Well, I'm not like your father, who hasn't seemed to get a day older in almost twenty years!” She gave Goku a glare, as if to say `how dare you keep your youth'! “I'm not getting any younger, and I want a grandchild to spoil.”

“You already spoil Goten, Mom.” Gohan pointed out.

“No I don't!” Chi-Chi protested.

“Oh, Mom. The only times you let me train in Martial Arts when I was a child was when the world was in danger or there was money involved. You trained Goten every day while I was doing homework!”

“Well… things are different with Goten.” Chi-Chi said nervously. “I knew that you were extremely intelligent, even as a baby; but Goten… he's got more from his father than his looks.”

Gohan glanced at his father, who was staring pointedly out the window. He was probably used to people insulting his intelligence, but it probably never got easy. Gohan didn't think that his father was stupid. It true that Goku wasn't book-smart; an unfortunate side-effect of having never been to school. He couldn't tell you what Pi is… (“Pie! What pie! Where?”). Gohan knew that, if he had ever been given the chance, his father could have been very intelligent. His genius on the battlefield proved that.

“You want me to go get Vegeta and leave you alone?” Goku asked. Gohan nodded. “Okay, Instant Transmission time! Videl, you want me to drop you off at home?”

Videl nodded. “Thanks.”

“Okay, hold on; let me take my wife home first. Cheech?” Chi-Chi grabbed onto her husband's shoulder, and they phased out of existence together. A second later, Goku returned for Videl. Videl grabbed onto his shoulder too, and they also phased out of existence. Two seconds later, Goku dropped off a surprised Vegeta in Gohan's room before taking off again.

“Damnit, Kakarot! What the hell do you think you're…?” Vegeta yelled, too late. Goku was long gone. The Saiyan Prince glanced around and his dark eyes settled on Gohan. “Brat, did you ask your father to bring me here?”

“Yes.” Gohan answered.

“Why I was in the middle of something.” Vegeta said. (In actuality, he was sniffing around Bulma to see if what Kakarot had told him was true. It seemed that he was right.) Damnit…

“I need to talk to you… about Saiyan things…” Gohan began nervously.

“Your moron father all ready told me that you wanted to learn how to control yourself in Oozaru form. But it won't do you much good now with a broken tail…”

“It's not about that. It's about the Saiyan Coming-of-Age.” Gohan began. “Last night was the first time I've ever felt anything like a sexual frenzy. I just need to know exactly what is going on with me.”

“Sounds more like a rut, brat, not a Coming-of-Age.” Vegeta said. “The Coming-of-Age always happens on a Saiyan's eighteenth year, but a rut can happen on any full moon after your Coming-of-Age and meeting your bonded mate.”

“Oh man. That's' just what I need right now…” Gohan moaned sarcastically.

“As for what's going to happen… I'd say that depends on how your future-mate reacts.” Vegeta said. “If you were a full-blooded Saiyan living on Planet Vegeta, and your mate were a Saiyan female, courtship would only last a few days.”

“A few days?!?” Gohan gasped in amazement. “Is that enough time to fall in love with someone?”

“Saiyan hearts are not fickle.” Vegeta said. “And our instincts for picking a mate are highly evolved. Tell me, how long did your parents know each other before they got married?”

Gohan sighed. “About two or three days.”

“Exactly. And they are still happy together?”

Gohan recalled the moans that had kept him up last night. “Oh yeah.”

“But, I'd say that since you are a half-Saiyan, your instincts are clouded by human uncertainty. It may take months for you to realize what Kakarot and I have noticed.”

“What?”

Vegeta sighed. “I thought you were intelligent. That you've begun the bonding process with the Satan girl.”

Gohan blushed. “What? Vegeta, I…”

“You're reaction is only proving me right, boy.” Vegeta said with a smirk. “I'll give you three months at the most to become fully mated with her, and that's only if you're very slow with her.”

“Vegeta, the situation with Videl is complicated.” Gohan began.

“It's only complicated because your `human' doubt in your own guts makes it so.” Vegeta said. “Once we get you transforming into an Oozaru, your body will be screaming to mate that girl.”

Gohan sighed. “Anything else I need to know?”

“Sure. Know that if you wait too long, your instincts will take over your body and you will rape her.” Vegeta began as Gohan stared at him in shock. “Rape would never be an issue back on Planet Vegeta since a Saiyan is only interested in their mate. But humans tend to look down on it, or so I've heard.”

Ah, Kami, great! That would be just the way to win someone's heart! Rape them! Gohan laughed nervously. “Ah… thanks, Vegeta. That's all.” Vegeta grunted and left, leaving Gohan to his own thoughts.

 

LES: In case you haven't noticed, I'm using a bit more Japanese than I have been with Dragon Ball Z. But, after watching “Dragon Ball: Evolution” and seeing that even that crappy movie used terms like “Oozaru”, I felt like a loser to not be using it myself. Besides, “Oozaru” is a lot easier to write than `giant ape form'. And as soon as I learn the proper spelling for the Japanese term of “World Martial Arts Tournament”, I'll be changing that too.