Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Underlying Conspiracy ❯ Part 7 ( Chapter 7 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

By: chayron

Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ. I'm not making any money.

Warnings: Yaoi (male x male), Goku/Vegeta

A/N: Thanks to achillona for her support!

Underlying Conspiracy

by chayron (lttomb@yahoo.com), beta-read by Veronica

Part 7

Vegeta and Goku were staring forward at the tunnel which receded into a hole of darkness. The feeling that they would be forced to go there still had not left Vegeta.

“Well, let's just look for the damn flower,” he muttered against his will. “The witch said it was supposed to be somewhere under or inside the Sphinx after all.”

“Yeah, it must be really mystical for it to grow in absolute darkness,” Goku snickered. He was still dusting his gi off and cursing “THEM” for making him look like a fool.

Vegeta nodded in agreement. But he could bet that in this darkness he was entering right now there were much more interesting things lurking around than some mangy flower.

Vegeta created a small ki-ball to light their way and then moved forward. Goku followed him closely. Despite that it had been hot and dry on the surface, the air in the tunnel was musty and smelled of mold and dampness. The further into the passage they went, the wider it was becoming and soon the two Saiyans were able to walk side by side.

“Eeep.”

Goku kicked a rat to the side where Vegeta jumped at least a meter away from it. Goku chuckled, amused, and continued walking forward.

“I hate rats,” Vegeta shuddered. He caught up with Goku. “Once I overate them and…”

Goku stopped to stare at Vegeta. “Overate?!”

Vegeta blinked at him. “Well, we were stranded on that stupid planet and there were only rats and other shit around. Believe me,” he poked with his finger on Goku's nose, “after a few days of no eating, anything that moves looks incredibly delicious. Although, I don't need to tell you that - I've seen you eating worms.”

Goku blushed brightly but nobody saw it in the poor light. “Listen, people eat them! They are quite nice when fried.”

Vegeta shrugged. “Sure.”

The two of them stopped shortly as the end of the tunnel suddenly turned into a huge hall.

“Whoa…”

“Yeah…” Vegeta agreed while looking around. He flared the ki-ball in his hand to see the hall better.

The huge hall was hollowed in rock. It was filled with various statues and armors. There were also a few torches fastened on the walls. One huge chest caught Vegeta's interest.

Goku launched a few ki sparks to light the torches. Looking around for possibly growing flowers, the two of them approached the chest. Vegeta tapped the wooden, half-rotten chest with his foot carefully. There was something about it…

“Kakarott, open the chest.”

Goku turned to him then walked over to the chest. “Hmmm…” Goku drawled after opening it. “It's empty.”

While looking at Goku, Vegeta scratched his chin thoughtfully. “You have just been cursed.”

Goku snickered. “As if you know anything about curses…”

“Well, sure I don't know much about them, but the one which is floating over your stupid head does seem to really love you.”

Goku twirled his finger next to his temple. “Have you gone completely bonkers? You… HAAA!” he shrieked when something had suddenly struck him on his bottom. “Goddamit!” Goku cursed. “What the hell was that?!”

“Your curse,” Vegeta replied calmly.

“What curse are you talking about?!” Goku growled at him.

“The one over your head,” Vegeta pointed with his hand.

Glaring, Goku raised his head to look above him. He froze. “I'll be damned…” he muttered, shocked.

“You already are,” Vegeta grinned at him happily.

Goku's head snapped to the prince. “You… HAH!” He jumped two feet into the air then turned back to the cloud over his head. “What the heck is that thing?!” It looked like a small dark cloud with sizzling streaks of lightning inside it. It wasn't big, just exactly the right size to be able to float over his head.

“Oh!” Vegeta raised his index finger into the air excitedly as a splendid idea occurred to him. He took one of his capsules and opened it. “Hmm…” he peered inside. “I'm sure I had it somewhere… Where is it?” he muttered while ransacking through the various capsule contents. “Oh, here it is.”

“Hmm?” Hopeful, Goku approached the prince.

“Here,” Vegeta pushed an umbrella into Goku's hands. “I can tell that it's going to rain a lot.”

Goku stared at Vegeta's overly happy face that was transmitting malicious vibes. The next second the umbrella smashed into the prince's head, flattening his hairdo to his scalp. Vegeta looked at the bits and pieces of the umbrella that were lying at his feet.

“That hurt,” he muttered.

XXXXX

After half an hour of nonstop rain, Goku deeply regretted his decision to break the umbrella that Vegeta had wanted to give him. He was wet and freezing cold, and the damn cloud didn't seem to be letting up soon. He had tried to outrun the cloud. Tried to blast it. Tried to kick it. Tried to talk to it nicely. Nuh-huh, didn't work. There was another thought that bothered Goku, too. For some reason Vegeta was always walking behind him now. It wouldn't have been that weird, except that normally the prince would puff his chest out, say some idiotic nonsense about being the prince of all Saiyans and insist on walking first.

“Vegeta, it's not fair that I'm the one taking the risk all the time! You are a coward!”

Silence.

“Vegeta, this is a new low. I have never thought of you as a coward.”

Silence. Only the light tap of boots against the sandy stone.

Worried that Vegeta might have gone deaf or something even worse might have happened to him, like the lice eating his brain out (Goku sometimes had weird thoughts and worries), he turned around. “Vegeta, didn't you hear what I said? I said you were a real coward for always sending me forward first.”

“Hmm?” Vegeta drawled thoughtfully, blinking. He peeled his eyes off the scenery that had somehow shifted and let them climb from Goku's crotch to his face. “Coward, you say?” he drawled again absentmindedly. “Yeah, sure. Okay,” he motioned with his hand for Goku to keep walking, “c'mon, stop disrupting my scenery and go.”

“What scenery, you mor… HAAH!” Goku shrieked as that damned cloud struck him with a bolt of lighting to the bottom again. There had to be some connection between that curse and Vegeta! “There is no scenery,” he said, recovering, “only walls around us!”

Vegeta grinned, pointing at him. “But I have my own walking waterfall!”

“Goddam… HAH!” Furious, Goku's head snapped to the cloud. “Stop it, you bitch! HAAAAH!”

“It's getting boring, Kakarott. Start walking.”

Hissing, Goku glared at Vegeta, but moved forward. Blissfully, Vegeta's eyes settled back on the freshly watered valleys of Goku's behind. It was smoking a little, but it only added to the exotic feel of it all.

“We gotta exorcize it!” Goku decided.

“Hmm… Exorcise a curse? I thought that only worked for spirits… Not that I believe in them anyway. Besides, why exorcise such a wonderful curse?” Vegeta wondered innocently.

“There must be a way to pass one's curse to another!” Goku snarled.

“Hmm… That would be no fun. You know what I think?”

“What?” Goku asked, turning to glare at him.

“It might be better if you got a lighting-conductor. I mean, you would just need to…”

Goku reddened in anger. “Shut the hell up! HAAH! Why the hell does this cloud like you so much anyway?!”

“Must be my badass image.”

They walked for a few minutes in complete silence while Goku's brain was working overtime.

“Do you know Naruto?”

Vegeta nodded, scratching his head enthusiastically. “Oh yes, yes. Naruto. Of course, I know it. If you want to be fashionable and fit into anime society, you must watch it!”

Goku's face brightened. “Ah, so this is where the catch is! It's like Harry Potter! You either read it or you don't exist at all!”

“Yes, yes,” Vegeta nodded. “But the only thing I don't get is that Sasuke. The guy would be supercool and irresistible but that constant… Itachi! Must kill Itachi! Kill, kill! Must get stronger than Itachi! Kill him! Kill Itachi! Itachi, Itachi!” Vegeta yelled at no one in particular. “Is he obsessed with the guy or something?! He drives me crazy with that!”

Goku stared at him. He pursed his lips then shrugged. It was better not to shatter Vegeta's illusion that he was the smartest of all Saiyans. Besides, Vegeta needed to catch up with the latest episodes.

“So anyway,” Goku continued, “I just thought you might be able to relate to some of the characters…”

Vegeta thought for a moment. Goku didn't seem to be squirming and trying to scratch his privates recently, so Vegeta decided that Goku's crabs were snoozing or at least had shrunk from wetness and cold.

“Nope. Nothing rings a bell.”

Goku sighed. “I think you are not as smart as you believe…”

The cloud hissed, charged, aimed at Goku, struck and…missed.

“You, fucker!” Vegeta growled at the cloud. “What the hell are you doing, you blind idiot?! Where are your damn eyes?! Stupid asshole!”

The cloud swirled, hissed and changed its color to almost black. It flew over to Vegeta, and Goku braced himself.

Vegeta stood, his legs spread wide. He threw the cloud a challenging glare. “You dare to mess with me, bitch? Just try and I'll end your miserable life! You think I am afraid of some piece of floating shit?! Get lost, you pathetic excuse for a cloud! You crappy…”

By the time Vegeta finished speaking, the cloud had shrunk to a tiny dot and, not waiting for long, it quickly snuck through the door and into the hallway, away from Vegeta. If the thing had had a tail, it would have been tucked between its legs.

Enamored, Goku stared at the prince. “Wow. How did you manage that?” It seemed Vegeta had just intimidated the curse away.

Vegeta snorted. “Listen, I was given away to Frieza by my own father; I grew up on board his ship with stinky lizards while licking Frieza's boots; my planet blew up; I got my ass kicked by a third-class; got seduced by a blue-haired witch and have a kid who, at ten years old, is already smarter than me; I am still trying to get stronger than that idiotic third-class and I'm looking for some ridiculous flower; not to mention I care for that damned third-…” Vegeta blinked, catching himself. “So, anyways! -No curse can compare to the one I already have. If any other curse ever looked my way, my curse would beat the crap out of it in a second!”

Goku stared at him for a few seconds silently. “Well, either way, thank you for getting rid of it,” he managed.

Vegeta's chest puffed out proudly. “You are very welcome. Just tell me if you ever need my help.”

“Don't get too carried away,” Goku warned him.

They stopped as the tunnel split two different ways. Both looked very dark and not appealing at all.

“Well, which way?” Goku inquired.

Vegeta observed both tunnels then shrugged. “Let's try the right one.”

“How do you know it's right?”

“Don't start,” Vegeta shut him up.

They walked forward, the tunnel becoming wider. It soon led them into a larger hall. Stepping into it, Vegeta flared up his ki to illuminate the surroundings. About three hundred skulls sitting atop armed skeletons turned toward them. Goku smiled at them in a friendly manner. Vegeta immediately extinguished his ki, engulfing the hall in darkness once again.

“Have a plan?” Goku asked a bit nervously. He could hear the rattle of bones assembling and heading their way.

Vegeta shortly stuck his head into the hall to observe the oncoming skeletons. “Yes,” he nodded.

Expectantly, Goku stared at Vegeta's mouth.

“Run!” the prince yelled.

Goku stared for some time at Vegeta's disappearing back. “Fucking unbelievable.” He peeked behind the corner at the approaching army to see how much time they had.

Face to face, he and a skeleton stared at each other.

“EEEEEEEEEEK!” Goku shrieked. And then he turned around and ran. Vegeta's plan was good.

His legs only a blur, Goku skidded down the corridor, reached another branch that they had ignored earlier and turned into it. Five minutes of heavy running later, he saw stairs leading upwards. After climbing them, he finally caught up with the prince. Vegeta was standing at the top of the stairs and staring at the wall right in front of him.

“Well,” the prince drawled, “it's a dead end. I suppose someone built the stairs but forgot to make a corridor they would lead into.”

“Will we die?”

“Hmm…” Vegeta ruffled through his hair. “A difficult question. Recently the interest has dimmed and our popularity is spiraling downwards. I feel more and more lonely. It's like our entire world is dying.”

“What are you talking about?” Goku panted out.

“About Dragon Ball. And Dragon Ball Z. Dragon Ball GT should have never existed in the first place. And that Twentieth Century Fox movie will be the end of us.”

“Huh?”

“Never mind.”

Panting, Goku observed the wall. He turned his head back to where they could hear the jingling of swords and the rattle of bones coming at them. One or two more minutes and the skeletons would start climbing the stairs. He turned back to the wall.

“Ka-me-ha-me-ha!”

It took a while for the dust to settle down, and then they saw that the only thing Goku did was raise a tornado of dust and sand and dig out a tunnel of about three meters in length.

“Well,” he looked at Vegeta apologetically. “I didn't think it would do any good if any of the pyramids or the Sphinx collapsed on us…”

Vegeta coughed out a few rocks then wiped the soot and dust off his face. “Well, let's just fry them, then,” he shrugged. “You seem to be good at that.”

“You have not an ounce of compassion!” Goku snarled.

Vegeta shrugged. “I'll be compassionate and let them cut you down then, so as not to stress them out too much.” He grinned brightly at Goku's offered scowl.

With baited breath, both of them were scanning the ground below and waited for the skeletons to approach the stairs.

“Oh.” Vegeta remembered suddenly. He turned to Goku. “Just don't forget to tear your gi off when you are almost dead,” he advised.

Goku gave him an incredulous look but nodded. He scratched his spiky head. “And what about the pants?”

“I'll do that for you.”

Goku nodded. “Oh!” he suddenly had an idea. “Remember Bulma's packet that Piccolo gave us? I think the circumstances fit the bill for opening it.”

“Then open that damn packet! Faster!” Vegeta yelled at him, watching the skeletons appear from behind the corner, heading for the stairs. “Stop fidgeting! Hurry up!”

Goku unwrapped the packet with lightning speed then got confused, after he saw that it was only a tube. “Err…” he fiddled with the tube. “It's a tube of lubricant. It says it's based on water.” He looked at a small packet that was added next to the tube. “Are these condoms, Vegeta?”

TBC