Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ What You Wouldn't Expect ❯ Internal Conflict ( Chapter 27 )

Chapter Twenty Seven: Internal Conflict

 

 

Gohan almost fell when he stepped out of the shower, and he ended up growling like a madman, jerking on his clothes sloppily and not even caring if he had his shirt on backwards or not. If it was, his dad could tell him. He stomped out of the bathroom, crossing his arms over his chest and awaiting his dad to talk to him or something.

 

Goku grinned when he saw his son, and hopped off the bed, taking his arm and dragging him downstairs. "Come on, Bulma just got dinner done with, and I'm really hungry."

 

If Gohan could have rolled his eyes, he would have. "You're always hungry," he told his dad, shrugging off his help to get down the stairs. He was more awake than he had been earlier, and he needed to get used to this on his own. He was more independent than he looked, and he wouldn't be able to stand his mother or father or someone else constantly dragging him around by his arm so he could know where he was going.

 

He dad helped him into a chair, and that was pretty much what he let him do, except let Bulma make his plate. He felt embarrassed about whether or not he would be able to eat, for it was quite hard to do it when one was blind.

 

He soon got frustrated and threw down his spoon, sinking down in his chair and sulking. He wasn't in a very "human" mood; he wanted to kill something extremely bad for the first time in his life. He had never felt so violent ever, and he felt scared from all the raging emotions going through him. All thought was focused on Videl, and how he would get her back. Entirely all sadness had been replaced by the wonderful anger that he was living and feeding off of. He wanted to find her, no, more like he needed her, and he couldn't stop himself from trying to do that even if he tried.

 

He jumped out of his seat, almost knocking it over. It startled everyone at the dinner table, especially the women. "Gohan?" Chichi asked, getting ready to go over to him and help him sit back down, but when she saw the utter rage written all over his face, she backed off, sitting right back down in her chair.

 

Gohan gritted his teeth, clenching his hands at his side as he said in a low and dangerous voice, "I need a space ship, and I need it as soon as possible."

 

Bulma's eyes widened. "But whatever for, Gohan? You can't very well go and find-"

 

"I can, and I will. No one can stop me, nor will they try," he said in a mean tone, and stalked out of the room.

 

Everyone was staring after him in shock, except for Vegeta, who was looking rather amused. "That boy has more Saiya-jin in him than I thought. He's running off of pure instinct right now, something that I would probably understand, unlike that moron over there," he said, waving his hand in Goku's direction.

 

Goku looked up, pouting at Vegeta. "Ah, come on, Vegeta, I'm more Saiya-jin than I look...right?"

 

Everyone stared at him as if he wasn't there. He sunk lower into his chair, going back to eating.

 

Bulma stood, wiping her hands off on her napkin. "Well, if I know Saiya-jins, Gohan's gonna have a fit and blow everything up until he gets what he wants. I guess I should get to work. It's going to take a while, but I have so many good ideas. I came up with this far-out super speed engine that has only been tested, but I think I can perfected. Hey, Vegeta, you like speed, why don't you come with me and check it out? I bet it can go faster than you can move...."

 

"What?! No it can't, Onna!! I know it can't. Let me see this contraption and I will test it myself," Vegeta said, pursuing Bulma and telling her that he could prove that he could move a million time faster than this super "engine". Bulma just giggled, giving Chichi a knowing look as she left the room.

 

The black pit of despair. This is what this hell should be called. There isn't any happiness, any joy, just anger, hate, the urge to destroy and kill. No one seems to understand me; no one wants to understand me, except Vegeta. I have never felt so alone in my life. I'm all alone, by myself, in this black pit of despair.

 

When will this end? And why did it begin? Is it because I'm part Saiya-jin? Are all these longings and impulses real, or am I just imagining them? Am I really wishing I could just kill something, something that is helpless, something that never did anything to me?

 

Yes. I think I'm slowly going insane. Why? I think its because I...love her. I love Videl. But...how? How could I love her this much, and only know her for such a short time? I can't be feeling love. I know I'm not. It just isn't right. It isn't humanly possible. But wait. Is it possible for a...a Saiya-jin?

 

I wish I wasn't going through this. I am so confused, I can't even think straight. All I can think about is saving her, bringing her back home and keeping her safe forever.

 

But what if she's dead? What if I leave and go to find her, and I discover her dead? What will I do? How will I act? Will I go completely insane?

 

More than likely. And it's all because I'm a Saiya-jin. If I wasn't one, damn it, then I wouldn't be acting like this. If I were just a normal human, then I would just be...sitting here. Unable to do anything. Not able to save her.

 

But then again, if I were a human, this world would probably be gone. I helped to save this world from Cell, and if it hadn't been for me, then Cell probably would have killed everyone, and then blown up the planet.

 

I'm not going to start getting into that. All it does is make me depressed, sitting here and thinking that I only have my dad here for as long as the Supreme Kai allows him. And that's going to be as long as it takes to find Buu, and kill him.

 

Finding Buu. How hard is that going to be? Bulma said that it was going to take a while to get a new and more high-tech ship built. Vegeta's old one is too outdated for this mission. We need everything we can possibly get. Including a more powerful gravity room...for me.

 

But do I really want to train? Do I want to become obsessed like Vegeta when it comes to training? Do I want to train all day and all night?

 

Yes. No. Uh, I'm so confused. I think all this thinking is giving me a headache. But then again, meditating hasn't ever been this solitary, so damn lonely. I always did this with Piccolo, especially after my dad died. I wouldn't even come home for two or three days, and my mom would flip out on me every time.

 

I remember those good times like the back of my hand. Piccolo had been my other father, the one I didn't have anymore. The one I needed. He seemed to understand every little thing I told him, and I told him each problem, even if I thought he wouldn't understand.

 

I miss him, even if I might not show it outwardly. I miss Krillin too, even his teasing of me and Videl. I bet he would laugh his head off if he knew that me and Videl were together.

 

If she is alive, that is. Why do I keep coming back to this? Why don't I try to get over it? Why am I putting everyone through hell, making them hate me?

 

He opened his eyes slowly, and then closed them again. Do they hate me? Or do they respect me because of what I am going through, and my determination to find Videl? I hope that they don't hate me. If they only knew how much I needed them right now. I might act all hostile, well, that's only because that's how I'm feeling, but it doesn't mean that I don't need them. Maybe I should talk...talk to Vegeta. Maybe he can actually help me through this.

 

He stood, his hands searching for the wall. He found it easily and found his way along it until he made it to the metal door of the GR, which opened by voice command password. Bulma had added it in when Trunks had been born, so he wouldn't venture in and do anything "bad". Too bad it hadn't worked, for the boy had figured it out without even trying. The password had been so ridiculous that he didn't even remember it himself, for Bulma tried to change it at least once a week.

 

He didn't know how long he had been in there, but he knew it had been at least three hours. He had needed to be alone, and think, even though all he succeeded in doing was confusing himself further.

 

He felt his way along the wall, not noticing that Goku was waiting for him. Once he got to the door that led into the main house, he jumped, hearing his father talk. "Gohan, I got some bad news."

 

Great. I was just wondering if anything could get worse.

 

"I was just up visiting Yajirobe, and he said...he said that he didn't have anymore Senzu beans. He gave us what was left, and they were destroyed."

 

Wonderful. Just when my hopes get up that I can get my eyesight back with a damn Senzu bean. Maybe I should just stop hoping at all.

 

"But don't worry, Gohan, it's not like you'll be blind forever," Goku said cheerfully, putting his arm around his son's shoulders and walking him back to the house.

 

Gohan tried to hide the depression on his face. His father didn't know what he was going through. He couldn't believe that he actually wanted to talk to Vegeta, and willingly. He just let his dad lead him back into the house, telling Goku to find Vegeta for him.