Fake Fan Fiction ❯ Boarding School ❯ Frozen Tears ( Chapter 24 )

Disclaimer: I don't own Fake.

 

It had been days since Dee had slept, his restless mind never giving him peace. When he'd first arrived back at the orphanage, he'd been able to busy himself by helping Mother with the funeral arrangements and giving emotional support to the younger children who couldn't understand what had happened to their friend, that he would never be coming back. The funeral itself had been small and solemn and Dee's anger had risen at the fact that there were so few people there to honor the young man's life.

 

Needless. Aaron's death had been completely needless. There was no reason for him to have died so young, when he still had time to turn his life around, when he still had Dee there to rely on. But then again, he had failed him hadn't he?

 

The thought squeezed like a vice around Dee's heart in the night and made him curl into a protective ball to hide from the pain. His lips were raw from biting down on them to keep from vocalizing his anguish and waking his roommate. Not that it mattered, he could clearly hear Bikky's stifled sobs from across the room each night, yet he continued to keep to himself.

 

The younger boy needed to be comforted, but Dee couldn't seem to bring himself to reach out to him, his own pain was too overwhelming. When the two boys weren't fighting, Bikky was actually quiet and helpful, which somehow only managed to irritate Dee even more. He didn't want comfort or pity, he just wanted to be left alone.

 

When he wasn't running from the memory of Aaron, he was haunted by the heartache of his last encounter with Ryo, his guilt vying with his anger. Whenever he was alone, which was often since Bikky took to visiting Carol every evening when Dee remained so cool towards him, Dee would give his fantasies free reign, imagining his reunion with Ryo in vivid detail. But even then his conscience was conflicted. Sometimes he envisioned taking the boy tenderly in his arms and whispering words of comfort and apology. Other times his anger flared at Ryo's betrayal and, laying in his bed alone, the dark-haired boy would fondle himself and think of the sweet revenge he could wreak upon his lover when he returned.

 

Seeking the blonde out, he envisioned finding him alone in his room, where Dee would catch him off-guard, throwing him down on the bed and pinning his vulnerable body beneath him. As Ryo protested and squirmed, Dee heard himself whisper into the boy's ear, “You lied to me Ryo, you need to be punished.” After which he would flip the boy onto his stomach and yank his pants down to reveal his bare buttocks. Maybe he'd be merciful and make the spanking quick. Then again, maybe he would draw it out, graze his fingers over the exposed flesh teasingly before bringing his palm down with a sharp slap, again and again, until Ryo's skin was red and raw and the boy was whimpering for respite. Then, from behind, he would spread the punished cheeks of his ass and enter him without recourse or restraint, all the while torturing Ryo's nipples to rock hard points and deliberately ignoring his weeping sex until he begged for release. Only then would Dee touch him, working him into a frenzy as he plowed into him, listening to the moans of pleasure Ryo couldn't keep from slipping passed his lips.

 

“Say you're mine, Ryo!” he would command heatedly, “Say it!”

 

His hand would still until the blonde gave in, and Dee's inner mind rang with Ryo's choked cry, “Yes! I'm yours, Dee! Only yours!” And the raven-haired boy would finally give him mercy, stroking him determinedly until he was released from his sweet torment.

 

Even as the image hit his mind- Ryo throwing his head back in ecstasy, the tight ring of intimate muscles squeezing Dee's aching shaft- Dee himself exploded, the fantasy too erotic for him to contain himself. Unprepared, his semen shot across his chest, soaking his shirt. More unfortunate, however, was the fact that Bikky chose /that/ moment to return from Carol's.

 

“Damn it Dee!” the boy shouted upon walking in during Dee's climactic release. “Why do you have to be such a pervert!”

 

Of course, Bikky was ignoring the fact that he'd almost gotten caught by Dee in the exact same situation on numerous occasions.

 

“Why the Hell didn't you knock, runt!” Dee shouted back, turning his back to the boy to put himself in order.

 

“Don't call me a runt, you prick! All you ever do is think about yourself, isn't it?”

 

Both boys' patience had been worn thin from the long days and nights of sadness and tension, and neither of them was willing to back down.

 

Dee's anger spiked dangerously at Bikky's words; the boy had hit a sore spot. Unable to contain himself and afraid he'd lash out at Bikky if he stayed in the room, Dee left, slamming the door behind him even as Bikky yelled, “Go on, leave! That's what you're good at!”

 

Within minutes, Dee found himself in his old refuge- the rickety fire escape off the west wing of the attic. He opened one of the large windows and settled himself out on the wrought iron stairs, welcoming the rush of cold air onto his face, which was still flushed red from his raging temper. Fishing through his pockets he murmured a thanks to whatever higher power had reminded him the day before to stow an extra pack of cigarettes in his jean pocket.

 

He told himself that Bikky was just a stupid kid, that what he said didn't mean anything, but deep within himself he felt Bikky was right. /Forget it, just forget it/, he told himself, but he couldn't, everything he had pent up inside was beginning to break free. He couldn't even get the cigarette to light, his hands were shaking too badly.

 

His eyes shut against the ensuring tears. No, he didn't want to feel this, he didn't want to feel anything. The air was growing colder, a thin flutter of snow coming down into the alleyway, yet he was grateful for the icy touch enclosing him. Maybe it would numb his heart, close out the pain.

 

But it was no use. The despair came on anyway, hot tears escaping from his eyes to freeze into tiny droplets as they hit the ground below. He didn't know where to go from here, he didn't know what to do.

 

“Dee, please come inside.”

 

It was the one voice that could get through to him, even in the depths of his sorrow. Mother.

 

“Please, Dee?”

 

Her tone was so soft, her words so simple, he found himself yielding despite himself. Slowly, he allowed himself to be drawn back through the window and folded into the older woman's reassuring embrace. His chilled body greedily absorbed her steady warmth and Dee didn't even realize he was still crying.

 

The nun held him close, letting the young man pour out all his heartache, guilt and sadness. One of her gentle hands stroked his hair and her mind wandered back to when Dee was still a child and the many times he would isolate himself and try to hide away his feelings. She hated to see him this way, but smiled at the happy thought that she could still help comfort him. For a little while longer at least.

 

Every day the boy seemed to grow up just a little bit more. In a couple years he would turn eighteen, graduate, and leave the orphanage. Despite everything that had happened to him, Mother wasn't worried for his future. She had faith that he would make something of himself.

 

She was surprised to see him this distraught, however. His tears refused to subside and his body continued to tremble with the force of his weeping. Finally, she pulled back to look him in the face.

 

“Dee, tell me what's going on. This is more than just missing Aaron.”

 

Dee, looking more of six than sixteen, wiped his runny nose on his sleeve and shook his head, unable to voice his troubles.

 

“Tell me, Dee,” Mother insisted more firmly when he remained silent.

 

The boy's green eyes wavered and he refused to look the nun in the eye, but slowly he spoke. “I promised I'd protect him…”

 

Mother's heart almost broke. Leave it to Dee to start blaming himself. He'd always been the one boy at the orphanage that looked after everyone, even while he protested that he couldn't care less.

 

“Dee, you can't be saying you somehow feel responsible for what happened to Aaron?”

 

Stifling a sob, Dee protested, “You don't understand, I knew he was in trouble, maybe if I'd done more-“

 

But Mother didn't give him a chance to finish, putting a hand under his chin, she forced him to meet her eyes. “Don't even think that Dee! Life is hard enough without asking `what if' when something like this happens.”

 

“But-“

 

“No, Dee. Now listen to me. We all have to choose our own path in life. We do our best to help others, but they walk the path of their own making. Do you understand?”

 

He tried to understand, but Dee's emotions had been stewing for days and his regrets weren't so easily pushed aside.

 

Mother knew Dee's stubborn side well and she knew there was more going on than he was telling her.

 

“What is it you're not telling me, Dee?”

 

The dark-haired boy didn't know what do say, how much could he really explain about all that had been happening?

 

“Yes, there's more,” he admitted, “but I don't think I can talk about it.”

 

“Does it have to do with Randy?”

 

Dee's head shot up. Sometimes the nun was so intuitive, it was plain creepy.

 

“What happened ?” she pushed, while she had his attention.

 

After a pause, Dee told her, “He lied to me. He might have been able to help Aaron, but instead he lied.”

 

“Why?'

 

The boy's hands grasped at Mother's arms for support as he answered, “Because he was being hurt too… and I couldn't protect him either!” His voice rose as the festering secrets were finally rooted out. “Don't you see?” he asked in a shaky, pained tone, “I failed them!”

 

“Dee…” Mother whispered, her chest aching for him. His tears renewed with fresh vigor and the woman continued to hold him until he was spent, his anger and conflicts satiated.

 

When he finally calmed down, he felt lighter, but fatigued from emotion.

 

“Do you feel better now?” the nun asked.

 

Dee nodded, but told her, “I'm still not quite sure how to deal with things, though.”

 

“I know it must be hard for you, Dee. If Randy lied to you, you must feel betrayed, and yet you feel you let him down as well. The question you have to ask now is: Is your friendship worth saving? And if it is, then you'll find a way to forgive each other.”

 

“Thank you for listening, Mother,” Dee whispered as he wiped away his remaining tears.

 

“I'll always be here for you, Dee.”

 

She watched him leave, his silhouette briefly framed against the light from the hall, and remained there for a few moments, reciting a few silent prayers for the young man, wishing with all her heart for his happiness.

 

 

*** Next Chapter, Dee and Ryo are finally reunited! ^_^

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