Fake Fan Fiction ❯ Don't Know What You've Got Till It's Gone ❯ Have You Ever Needed Someone So Bad? ( Chapter 4 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

FAKE

Don't Know What You've Got Till It's Gone

by Lady Dragonphire

Summary: When Dee suffers amnesia after sacrificing himself to save Ryo from a terrible accident, can Ryo overcome his shyness and win back the love of his life before it's too late for their love?

Disclaimer: FAKE and its characters are the property of Sanami Matoh.

WARNING: The character's reactions might be slightly out of character when faced with traumatic events, but then again one never really knows how one will act when confronted by inescapable tragedy.

WARNING: Angst/Drama

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Chapter 4. Have You Ever Needed Someone So Bad?

[Have You Ever Wanted Someone You Just Couldn't Have…?]

(Def Leppard)

Ryo woke up the next day feeling surprisingly refreshed and rested. True to the nurse's prediction, he had slept all night, surrendering to his body's demand that he let himself be healed both physically and emotionally. He got up and went into the bathroom to take a shower and brush his teeth, emerging in a new pair of pajamas with a towel hanging over his shoulder, his honey-blond hair still a bit damp. He went over to the bedside table, where he found that one of the nurses had left a steaming cup of tea for him. Dee was not the only one who had fallen willing victim to the nurses' appreciative gestures of the two handsomest patients on the floor. He smiled at the simple gesture and took a tentative sip from the mug, drinking a bit more when he realized that it was not unbearably hot. It was the first real substance he had eaten or drank in the past few days. He sat down on the bed against his pillows and sighed contentedly as the warm liquid soothed his parched throat.

There was a knock at the door and Dr. Black came in briskly, a broad smile lighting up her face as she saw that Ryo looked rested and was actually drinking something. "How did you sleep last night, Randy?" she asked gently, not wanting to prompt any unpleasant thoughts from recurring while he seemed so peaceful now. However, she did not have to worry as Ryo's midnight eyes sparkled vigorously in response to her inquiring chocolate gaze.

"Great, thanks," he replied, setting his cup down on the bedside table. "That pill I took really helped me to fall asleep. It was the first time that I slept well in days," he reflected.

"Well, I'm very glad to hear that," the doctor replied, "because there are two people here that will be very happy to see that you are doing okay."

At Ryo's questioning glance, she walked over to the door and said, "You can come in now; he's able to have visitors today." With a quick wave of her hand, she exited Ryo's room to tend to her other patients.

`Oh God,' Ryo thought worriedly. `I never got to go visit Dee yesterday. That medicine must have really knocked me out. I wonder if he's doing okay, or if he even noticed that I didn't come back.' His musings were interrupted by the sound of forceful footsteps from outside rapidly approaching his room.

A bundle of bright blue eyes and platinum blonde hair raced into the room, barreling onto the bed next to Ryo and throwing his arms around the startled honey-blond. "Bikky!" Ryo managed to get out before his Aunt Elena walked into the room after the rambunctious boy. His arms tightened around his young charge. He had missed Bikky's limitless energy that the boy seemed to radiate. However, sometimes Ryo felt that the boy was too much to handle at times lately. He hoped he was up to the visit.

Meeting Ryo's gaze, Elena smiled in genuine relief as she walked over to the bed and pulled up a chair. Untangling himself gently from Bikky's death grip, Ryo reached out and embraced her in a loving hug. She pulled him close and spoke softly. "You really had us worried there, kiddo. We kept calling but they weren't too willing to give us an update on your condition until I insisted that if you started having nightmares about your parents dying in a car accident and now Dee involved in one, that you could be in some serious need of psychological help. Anyway, my ploy worked and now here we are - finally," she said as she moved away to include Bikky in the conversation once more.

"Thanks - it really means a lot to me that you guys came to visit," Ryo admitted, unwilling as of yet to let his Aunt know how close to the truth her statement actually was. However, he suppressed a smile at knowing just how persistent Elena could be. He almost pitied the hospital staff. Almost.

Bikky, however, was not so quick to offer soothing well-wishes for Ryo's recovery. Putting his suspicious face up to Ryo's, he demanded, "Ryo, is it true that the perv was driving?"

The blatant delivery of the question caught Ryo off-guard and he only managed to sigh and nod his head in response, knowing where this never-ending battle was going, before Bikky venomously declared, "I'll kill him for what he did to you! I'm just glad that you aren't more seriously hurt. Where is his room? I'm gonna make him pay!"

"Bikky wait! Please calm down. You are not going anywhere. Besides, Dee is in no condition to blame for anything. He wouldn't even know who you were at this point," Ryo pleaded, his dark eyes betraying his worry.

"What - he's so dumb that I know he'll deny what he did to you, pretending to forget to get out of taking responsibility for his actions," Bikky retorted. "Ryo, why do you put up with him? You could do so much better, ….like maybe with a woman?"

"Damn it Bikky - that is enough! I am sick and tired of you always badmouthing Dee!" Ryo yelled, exasperated and clearly upset by the youth's harsh words. He knew that Bikky would try to use any and all ammunition available to add fuel to his fire against Dee. "No, Dee would not remember anything about the accident because he CAN'T!" Ryo shouted bitterly, his voice rising in desperation. Seeing the boy's puzzled expression, Ryo managed to quietly choke out, "He has amnesia," before bursting into sobs that wracked his whole body. "I may have lost him forever," Ryo whispered before he was enveloped in Elena's warm comforting embrace and leaned heavily against her.

Bikky's blue eyes widened in disbelief. "Oh Ryo, I'm so sorry," Bikky said quietly. "I didn't know…." he trailed off, glancing at Elena helplessly.

Elena turned to Bikky and said quietly, "Why don't you wait outside for now?" Seeing Bikky's wide-eyed look of protest, she added, "We'll talk about this when we get home, okay?" Bikky reluctantly left the room, his head hanging. He had not meant to upset Ryo at all. He just was very angry that the whole accident had to happen, and he needed someone to blame. That someone was Dee. Bikky sighed and put his hands in his pockets as he went to wait out in the car for Elena.

"Don't cry, Ryo," Elena said as she held him close. "Shhh, I'm here for you. Everything is going to be all right." She continued to hold him in her arms and laid him back against the pillows.

Ryo opened his tear-drenched eyes that expressed all of his fears and doubts and looked up at Elena. "I just don't know what else to do. It's like when my parents died. All I could do was cry. God, why can't I get ahold of my emotions?" Ryo wondered angrily. He was sick of being enslaved by the mere presence of any thought of Dee's and his past bringing a cascade of tears and a mix of fear tinged with anger. Now he had lashed out at Bikky, the boy that he had took in and who also meant the world to him. He was frustrated that his feelings of hurt and anger had temporarily gotten the better of him once again.

"Ryo, why don't you get some sleep?" she asked, pulling the covers up over his slender and slightly emaciated form. "Despite your feeling better today, the doctor told me that your body is still trying to recover from your ordeal. I think it's best if you don't try to do too much too fast. I'll speak to Bikky tonight and get him straightened out about the relationship between you and Dee. To tell you the truth, I don't think he really dislikes Dee as much as he leads you to believe. I think it's just a combination of vying for your attention and being slightly overprotective of you. The accident only served to heighten his fear that he might lose you someday. I think that if you had a talk with him and explained to him how you feel about Dee, he might be inclined to treat Dee a bit nicer." She looked into Ryo's beautiful eyes and he smiled at her, indicating that he understood and would grant her request.

"Thank you so much, Elena," Ryo said appreciatively, drying his remaining tears with a tissue. "I know I can always count on you to offer some much-needed advice."

"Well, I've taken up enough of your time lecturing you," Elena said with a hint of teasing present in her voice. She was glad that Ryo respected her enough to value her opinion and take into consideration what she had suggested. "I'd better go catch up with Bikky before he hot wires the car and drives off without me," she said jokingly. She admired the spunk that the youngster possessed. It was refreshing looking after Bikky, although so different from when she had taken Ryo in years before.

With an affectionate kiss on his cheek and a final hug goodbye, Elena turned to walk out of the room. She paused in the doorway and turned around to face Ryo once more. "Oh Ryo, your doctor spoke to me and she said that you should be able to be released from the hospital tomorrow, taking into consideration that you do indeed get a good night's rest again tonight and attempt to eat something. Bikky and I will stop by tomorrow afternoon to take you back to your apartment. Is there anything else you need until then?" she inquired.

"No, I should be okay. The sedative that the nurse gave me last night helped calm me down and I woke up pretty relaxed. I think I should be okay tonight," Ryo said confidently. "I can't wait to see you guys tomorrow," he added as his Aunt turned and strode out of the room.

Ryo took another pill from the bedside table and swallowed it with a glass of water. Tonight he would sleep well, for he couldn't wait to be home at his apartment and start to resume whatever normality his life still possessed. For the first time in days, he seemed hopeful about moving on with his new life. Maybe he would even be able to visit Dee again tomorrow. Things were definitely looking up…. or so he thought.

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Meanwhile, Dee awoke once again from a dreamless sleep to find that one of the nurses had placed a steaming cup of black coffee and a small box of chocolates on his bedside table with a note saying that he was one of the sweetest patients they had had in awhile. Smiling and going to take a morning shower, he emerged minutes later wearing only pajama bottoms and looking forward to a "real" breakfast packed with caffeine.

He picked up one of the gourmet chocolates hungrily. His hand froze halfway to his mouth as Dr. Black knocked before pushing the door open. Observing his breakfast with a disapproving gaze, she took note of the untouched hospital food on his bedside table. "Well, good morning, Dee. I see that this hospital's standards of service are going up. "Who knows; next we'll be putting mints on the pillows," she remarked with a slight smile playing over her lips.

"Uh yeah, that would be great," Dee said guiltily, unsure of her intentions concerning his eating habits. He quickly recovered, flashing her a winning smile that caused her knees to go weak.

`Wow, I can see how he really does have an affect on those nurses. Who can blame them, practically worshipping him when he looks at someone like that,' she reflected before clearing her throat and resuming her professional conduct. "Well, I have some good news to tell you concerning the results of your CAT scan," she said, glancing down and consulting her patient portfolio. "Without getting into too many details, I can tell you that you definitely have the potential to regain your memories," she said, pausing at the hopeful look of expectation that flickered across Dee's handsome face. "However, you shouldn't get your hopes up too high. Even though the possibility of memory recovery is there, you still would need some pretty powerful stimuli to evoke the memories buried in the depths of your mind and the deepest recesses of your subconscious. If I were you, I'd accept that you have to move on from your past and concentrate on adapting to your future - without your past memories," she said practically, not wanting to build up Dee's hopes only to have them crushed by harsh reality.

Dee nodded, stunned. He was so close to attaining his desire and yet still so far away. However, he smiled resolutely and nodded his understanding. He was determined not to give up hope yet, for he wanted to recover his past memories with a vengeance. He just HAD to know more about himself and his partner. He sensed that with one wrong move, he could destroy everything he had with the shy blond.

Dr. Black cleared her throat quietly at the faraway look in Dee's emerald eyes and he looked at her apologetically. "I'm sorry; what were you saying, doctor?" he asked, coming back to the present.

"Oh, I was just saying that you have some visitors from work," she said. "Your physical condition has improved nicely with no danger of it impeding your mental recovery, so they are now allowed to see you as of today. Their names are Drake, Ted, and JJ," she added as her pager went off. "I'll show them in and you can get reacquainted. I'm sorry I don't have time to explain your condition to them," she added before smiling apologetically and leaving the room.

Dee shifted on the bed and sipped his coffee, placing the cup down as the three detectives walked in. "DEE!" JJ shouted as his eyes widened in delight at seeing Dee's attractive face once again. It also didn't hurt that his Greek god was shirtless at the moment. His eyes got starry as he took in Dee's gorgeous body. It was better than he had ever imagined it to be. JJ ran over and hugged Dee, kissing him on the cheek and gushing, "Did you get my flowers? How did you like them?"

Dee glanced over at the two other men who had walked into the room, who were trying to suppress fits of laughter from erupting any moment. "Do you want to help me out a little here?" Dee asked wryly, trying to fend off JJ's advances. "I'm still a little sore."

"Oh, sorry," Drake said apologetically as he practically had to pry JJ off of Dee. It was only when Ted walked over and took a hold of JJ's other arm did the smaller man relinquish his death grip on the raven-haired man.

"Uhh, I don't mean to be rude, but who are you guys?" Dee asked, observing the look of puzzled shock that crossed Ted and Drake's faces and the look of anguish that graced JJ's features.

"You mean you don't remember me?" JJ whined incredulously.

"Sorry, I don't remember anybody," Dee said matter-of-factly, pointing to the bandage wrapped around part of his head. "I have amnesia." He let the information sink in before he noticed the bag that Ted held in his hand. "What do you have there?" he asked, feeling slightly uncomfortable by the silence and concerned looks on their faces.

"Uhh, just some stuff we thought you might like," Ted said, opening the bag and dumping the contents on Dee's bed. "I'm Ted, that's Drake, and the one who tried to kill you with kisses is JJ," Ted added as Dee surveyed the contents of the bag. There were some magazines, CDs, a pack of cigarettes, and a framed photograph. Turning the picture over in his hands, he noticed that it was of the four of them together along with a mysterious platinum blonde-haired man with glasses and a stern expression, a heavyset man that slightly resembled either a badger or a walrus (Dee couldn't decide), and… Randy. Dee's eyes lit up at seeing the picture. Maybe these men who worked with him and his partner could shed some light on the man who intrigued his heart and subsequently Dee's relationship with him.

However, before Dee could put his question to his colleagues, Drake's cell phone went off. "Yeah, Chief?" he asked before listening intently to the voice on the other end of the line. After a minute, he hung up and turned to JJ and Ted. "That was the chief," he said. "We gotta go - he thinks he apprehended one of the suspects from that undercover drug bust we worked on together and he needs us back at the station ASAP to identify him." He reluctantly turned to Dee and smiled ruefully. "Sorry, Dee, we gotta go," he said as all three men turned to leave. "Don't worry - we'll be back to see you soon," he said as he and Ted turned to leave the room.

JJ stayed behind, taking one last look at Dee's sculpted body and saying, "I love you, Dee-senpai. I'll be back to visit you sometime - ALONE." He emphasized the last word with a hint of deeper meaning before he was yanked out into the hallway by an impatient Drake. "Hey, no fair!" JJ protested. "Why do we have to leave now? Rose was supposed to meet us here and he isn't back yet."

"Hey, that's right," Ted mused. "He did say he was coming with us, although I have no idea why since he knew we were visiting Dee. Where did he go to?"

"I think he said that he had to interview a witness about a case. After all, this hospital is for victims and witnesses as well as police officers. He brought his own car, saying that he had to pick something up before interviewing the witness, so he should be able to get back when he's done," Drake pointed out. The three men walked out of the building towards Drake's squad car, talking about the known details of their case in preparation for their meeting with the Chief.

Dee continued to gaze at the picture long after his friends had left, wondering just how much these people meant to him and pondering the recent events of the day. He had gathered that they all worked together, but just how close he was to any one of them remained a mystery. Who could he trust? His keen emerald eyes lingered on the image of Randy longer than the others. He vowed that he would ask one of the nurses if he could stop by Ryo's room tomorrow and pay him a visit. He was sure that he would be able to, as long as the other man was feeling up to it. Dee was worried about him. Ryo did not look too healthy when he had last visited Dee. Rather, he had looked tired and worn, despite the brilliant smile he had given Dee in false reassurance. Dee was quick to notice that Ryo's deep expressive eyes never masked his true feelings. Dee stopped his thoughts from wandering any further about his enigmatically shy partner as his gaze wandered over to the flowers on the bedside table and he remembered the man named JJ's words of endearment and promise that he would be back soon to see Dee. Dee's mind told him that he was already involved in a relationship with JJ, but his heart implored him to never relinquish the angelic image of Ryo standing next to him in the photograph.

With a sigh, Dee lay back against the pillows, putting in a random CD of 80's ballads that his friends had brought him to take his mind off of his own suffering. As Def Leppard's haunting melody of Love Bites softly filled the room, mirroring his mood and evoking powerful conflicting emotions within the depths of his soul, Dee leaned back against the pillows with a sigh and closed his long lashes over his emerald depths. He was faced with a life-altering decision that could forever shatter the hopes and dreams of possibly the one person he cared for most - if only he knew who that was. He brought the large pillow over his head as he attempted to silence all feelings of worry and doubt. However, as he lay silent trying to go to sleep unsuccessfully due to his frustration, the one question that epitomized all of his unspoken thoughts was etched strongly in his mind - `Which guide should he follow - his mind or his heart?'

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Brisk footsteps filled with confidence resonated down the hall as a tall, platinum blonde strolled purposefully towards a room located down the hall and around a corner from Dee's room. "I'm sorry sir, but visiting hours are over," a nurse said as she passed the bespectacled man in the hallway.

"Oh, this is official police business," Commissioner Berkley Rose said, flashing her his police badge and a winning smile.

"With those?" she asked, observing the item that he carried in his hand questioningly.

"Yes, the family of the witness that I'm interviewing asked me to give him these, since they knew that they would not be permitted inside the hospital after visiting hours," he politely explained.

"Well then, try to keep it short. The patients need their rest," the nurse said warningly as she continued to walk down the hall, checking that all of the patients were present and accounted for.

With a slight nod of his head, the Commissioner stopped in front of the room he had been looking for. Randy McLean. Glancing around furtively, he slowly entered the room and closed the door, letting his eyes adjust to the semi-darkness. He strode over to the bedside, where Ryo was asleep. God, he was beautiful. The pale moonlight danced across his perfect features as he lay there sleeping like an angel fallen from heaven. Rose placed the ostentatiously large vase of yellow roses and baby's breath on Ryo's bedside table and arranged them before stepping back to admire his handiwork. The bouquet was twice as large as the one JJ had gotten for Dee.

Hearing a slight shifting of movement from under the covers, he watched as Ryo got comfortable before surrendering to the peace-filled bliss of slumber that his features had portrayed at Rose's initial arrival. Rose observed the man's gentle breathing and slight murmuring as Ryo's eyes stayed closed. Rose leaned closer in order to make out what the honey-blond was saying.

"Mmmmm…. Dee," Ryo breathed before he shifted slightly again under the covers.

`Damn,' Rose thought. `Even when he's asleep and after all he's been through he still thinks about that good-for-nothing partner of his.' It was a shame, since he felt that he could offer Ryo so much more.

As Ryo's moans and whimpers grew more insistent, Rose could not take it any more. This once-in-a-lifetime possibility was just too tempting. Rose hovered over Ryo expectantly. When the gorgeous man began to pant slightly, still making no move to wake up, he decided to go in for the kill. He gently brushed his lips against Ryo's. Ahh, the forbidden fruit never tasted so sweet. As he felt Ryo's body respond, moving his mouth against the one above him under the gentle caresses, Rose pressed down on Ryo's lips more firmly, increasing the gentle insistence, and caused Ryo to gasp. He used this opportunity to snake his tongue between Ryo's parted lips and twine his tongue with Ryo's.

Under a hazy bliss, Ryo welcomed the intrusion into his mouth and responded to the kiss. Rose was delighted and began to ravish the blond's mouth, no longer restraining the full extent of his desire. Ryo momentarily stopped responding as some of the fog clouding his mind lifted. He did not remember Dee ever kissing him like that. This kiss seemed to emanate raw lust, not love. As the increasingly harsh tongue explored the contours of his mouth, Ryo pushed away the body above him and gasped for air, still in the drug-induced sleep. "No, Dee, please, let's take it slow," he whispered, his voice laced with a gentle plea. At hearing another man's name escape the lips that should rightfully be his, Rose recoiled in anger. He could not prolong his own fantasy anymore. This display of obvious devotion pulled at even his heartstrings and he reluctantly got up and left, not glancing back at the man in the bed who was now crying softly at the absence of the warm body on his, begging, "I'm sorry Dee - please don't leave me. Please don't go… I love you."

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