Fake Fan Fiction ❯ Don't Know What You've Got Till It's Gone ❯ Here I Go Again On My Own ( Chapter 5 )

FAKE

Don't Know What You've Got Till It's Gone

by Lady Dragonphire

Summary: When Dee suffers amnesia after sacrificing himself to save Ryo from a terrible accident, can Ryo overcome his shyness and win back the love of his life before it's too late for their love?

Disclaimer:  FAKE and its characters are the property of Sanami Matoh.

WARNING:  The character's reactions might be slightly out of character when faced with traumatic events, but then again one never really knows how one will act when confronted by inescapable tragedy.

WARNING: Angst/Drama

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Chapter 5. Here I Go Again On My Own

(Whitesnake)

Dr. Black knocked softly on Ryo's door before subtly pushing it open. At seeing that Ryo was still asleep, she walked quietly over to the bedside and observed the huge bouquet of flowers sitting on his nightstand. `Wow. Dee was not the only one who had admirers,' she thought as she moved the large vase over and placed a steaming cup of tea within Ryo's reach.

Hearing a noise by his bedside, Ryo opened his midnight eyes fearfully. He had had the most disturbing dream last night. He had dreamt that Dee did not love him anymore and that he had only wanted to use Ryo for sex. At first the kisses in the dream had started out sweet, but then they had gotten more insistent, demanding that Ryo surrender himself to unfamiliar love when he was not yet ready. When Ryo had resisted, the persistent invasion of his mouth had gotten rougher until it had stopped entirely. Even so, he did not want Dee to leave him. Was the Dee as Ryo knew him gone forever, or had Ryo simply forgotten how Dee used to kiss him? No, he would never forget how Dee used to kiss him, Ryo thought with a vengeance - he couldn't, even if he would never again feel the sweet euphoria of Dee's tender kisses upon his lips. However, Ryo was powerless to explain the reason for the dream starting out wonderful and then warping into his deepest fear. Perhaps it was a combination of his fight with Bikky (who always made it known that he thought Dee was playing Ryo) and the fact that he desperately missed Dee's loving caresses. Placing his hand on his forehead and brushing a stray wisp of honey-blond hair out of his sleep-laden eyes, attempting to clear his mind from the endless torrent of unsettling thoughts that plagued his every waking moment, he sighed and met the worried gaze of Dr. Black.

"Randy, are you sure you're feeling up to going home today?" she asked with concern as she placed a hand on his forehead, checking to see that he did not have a fever. One of the nurses had said that he had been murmuring in his sleep last night despite taking the sleeping medication, although she had been unable to decipher what he had been talking about from the quick 9:00 bed check.

"Yeah, fine," Ryo said, giving her a reassuring smile and glancing at the bedside table to see… "Rose!" he exclaimed, his eyes widening in shock. He tentatively put a hand up to his lips, remembering the dream from last night. That would definitely explain the lust emanating from the lips that had consumed his last night. No, it couldn't have been, could it? But yet it had all seemed so real…

"Yes, someone left you roses. Aren't they beautiful?" Dr. Black asked, trying to offer a topic of neutral conversation in order to soothe Ryo's panicked expression. She looked through them, but could find no indication of a card of any kind. "You must have a secret admirer, Randy," she joked, attempting to ease his pensive mood.

Meanwhile, Ryo had taken a few sips of his tea and had calmed down somewhat. He looked up at her from behind dark lashes and gave her a small smile. "Yeah, maybe," he said doubtfully. He was sure that whoever left the roses had done so intentionally to penetrate his subconscious mind. Well, it was not going to work. He had chosen Dee to be his lover, and he was not about to change his decision.

Waiting until she was done reading over the chart at the foot of his bed, Ryo hesitantly ventured a request that had been on his mind ever since the other day. "Dr. Black, do you think that it would be okay if I went to visit Dee today before I go home?" he asked hopefully.

"Sure, I don't see why not, although I have to take him for a few blood tests first. Why don't you go see him after your Aunt Elena comes to pick you up? He should be back in his room by then," she said, glad to see that the mention of Dee no longer brought a flood of tears to Ryo's handsome face. "You know, I bet he would love to see you. He's been asking about you," she said, watching Ryo's face intently in order to gauge his reaction to her information.

"He-he was asking about me?" Ryo asked, averting his eyes and blushing, although he was secretly pleased that Dee had remembered him, brief encounter though it was.

"Yes, you seem to have made a lasting impression on him. Maybe if you went and talked to him you both would feel better about what happened. To tell you the truth, I'm a little worried about him. Like you, he has been bottling up his emotions. However, when the full extent of never being able to recover his memory fully hits him, he's going to be an emotional wreck. He's going to need all the love and support of those around him, even if he only vaguely knows who they are. You need to ask yourself if you're strong enough to be there for him. Promise me you'll think about this. You need to be ready for anything at this point," she finished, letting the full extent of her information sink in before looking back at Ryo.

Ryo took a deep breath and nodded. Yes, he could do it - he had to do it. Whatever it took to get Dee back, he was willing to do, no matter what the sacrifice. But did the demure blond have the strength to conquer his own fears and overcome all the odds already in opposition against them?

There was a knock on the door and Ryo's face brightened as he saw his Aunt Elena and Bikky standing there. Dr. Black politely excused herself and walked out of the room, pager beeping almost the moment she walked out the door.

"Hi Ryo," Elena said, smiling and wrapping her arms around the honey-blond.

"Hello Elena," Ryo responded, giving her shoulders a loving squeeze. Noticing Bikky's reluctance to approach the bedside, Ryo brought his dark eyes up to lock onto bright blue ones and opened his arms further, extending the invite for Bikky to join in the hug.

"Oh, Ryo, I'm so sorry," Bikky murmured as he let himself be drawn into the embrace. "I didn't mean to upset you the other day."

"Shhh, it's okay, Bikky. I understand why you acted as you did. Don't worry - we'll have a long talk when we go home and then we can talk about how you and I feel about this whole thing and how it affects our lives in the future," Ryo promised as he held onto Bikky tighter.

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A raven-haired figure sitting in a wheelchair out in the hallway observed the loving scene with piercing green eyes that narrowed in frustration and disappointment. `Of course Randy would have a family to go home to,' Dee mused as he witnessed Ryo hugging a woman and a small boy. Although he could only see the backs of them, he knew that Ryo's wife and child were taking him back where he belonged. He ruefully surveyed the suitcase that they had brought with them to pack up his clothes and the large bouquet of flowers that the woman was now acknowledging with a knowing gesture. This would probably be the last time he would be able to see or talk to Ryo for awhile, and he had missed his chance.

With a sigh, he reluctantly turned his wheelchair around to go back down the hall towards his room. He would not interrupt their happy reunion. He was regretful that he did not get to visit with Ryo at least one more time before the other man went home from the hospital. However, he was glad that Ryo looked to be in happy spirits and apparently was well-rested and doing better, or else he would not have been able to leave.

The three people in the room did not notice the presence of the solitary figure or that he was wiping away a single tear as he retreated to his room, the feelings of loneliness running rampant in his broken heart.

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"Oh, these must be from Dee. How lovely," Elena said, indicating the flowers by Ryo's bedside.

"Well, I'm not exactly sure who they're from, but I do have my guesses," Ryo said bitterly. Sensing that he did not want to talk about it, Elena did not press the matter further.

"All done," said Bikky triumphantly. He had packed up all of Ryo's belongings in the suitcase that he and Elena had brought with them. "Can we go now, Ryo? Elena said that we could rent movies and order pizza tonight to celebrate your homecoming. She even said that I could invite Carol over," he added with a slight blush tinting his dark cheeks.

"Sure, I'm almost ready to go," Ryo agreed. "That sounds like fun," he added, smiling at observing Bikky's uncharacteristic shyness and glad to see that the boy had found someone to make him happy. "You guys go on ahead. There's one more thing I need to do before I go," Ryo said. Elena just gave him a knowing glance before ushering Bikky down the hall, the boy chatting animatedly and talking about what else they were going to do for Ryo's homecoming all the way out to the waiting room, where they sat to wait for Ryo. Ryo walked down the hall towards Dee's room, determined to see him one last time before he left and resolute to find out how Dee felt about him.

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"DEE!" Dee looked up, startled, as he wheeled himself into his room and saw that he had two visitors in his room waiting for him. Well, one visitor and one very large, almost life-sized, teddy bear. "DEE!" the voice yelled again before JJ launched himself at Dee, showering him with kisses. Once again, Dee had to practically pry him off just so that he could breathe.

"JJ! Could you please give me a little space?" Dee asked, exasperated, as he climbed into the bed next to the huge teddy bear. Seeing the hurt look on the other man's face, he flashed an apologetic smile. "Sorry; I've just had a long day," he said.

At the gorgeous smile that crossed Dee's handsome face, JJ's countenance lit up with joy once more. "Oh Dee, it's okay. I forgive you," he said, kissing Dee affectionately on the cheek.

Dee patted JJ's back and JJ, sensing that Dee was a bit tired, went to go sit down in the chair next to the bed. `Wow,' Dee thought. This man's boundless energy was a bit much to handle, although he was extremely fond of Dee. As Dee wondered just what he had done to attract such a devoted lover, a brilliant smile spread across JJ's face as he observed the intent way that Dee was staring at him.

"JJ, do you mind if I ask you a few questions about our relationship? It's just that I'm not comfortable being intimate with someone if I don't know anything about them. Can you bear with me?" Dee asked carefully, not wanting to hurt the other man's feelings.

"Oh of course - anything you want to know, just ask," JJ gushed happily.

"Okay, how did we meet?" Dee started, thinking that the question was innocent enough.

"We went to the Academy and graduated together. We spent every moment we could together. It was love at first sight for me," JJ reminisced, his eyes getting a dreamy, faraway look in them.

"Okay," Dee said, feeling that that was the most specific answer that JJ could give at the moment without spurting love poems to him right then and there of his undying love for Dee. "Well then, if we've known each other for awhile, and have been working together too, then can you tell me a little bit about my partner Randy? What's he like? How well do we know each other?" Dee queried expectantly.

"Oh, there's not really much to know about him. He's just your partner. He's quiet and shy and just kinda blends in with everybody at the precinct, although he is a really good sharpshooter. Yeah, you guys get along and stuff, but you're just friends - nothing more," JJ said quickly, frowning in disappointment at the abrupt change of subject and seeing a golden opportunity to win Dee's heart, wanting Dee to finally be his at last.

Dee's face fell. `Just friends?' he thought. No, there had to be more to it than that. His heart would never lie to him. He knew now that he would have to have a talk with Ryo, and soon. He could not stand feeling so lost and alone. There was just something about Ryo that was so soothing. He had never felt like this before with anyone like he did with Ryo.

Seeing a look of puzzlement cross Dee's expressive features, JJ walked over to the bedside and said, "I am the one you love. Let me refresh your memory," before he claimed Dee's soft lips with an insistent kiss. JJ wrapped his arms around Dee, holding him close and executing the kiss with a burning passion. Dee hesitantly responded to the kiss, parting his lips for JJ's probing tongue. JJ sighed and moaned into the kiss, ravishing Dee's mouth with everything he had as Dee pulled JJ closer to his body. In his depressed state, Dee was willing to accept any form of affection right now, even if it wasn't from the one he wanted.

Suddenly, Dee heard a barely audible gasp coming from the doorway of his room, and emerald green eyes flew open to see a very shocked and very hurt Ryo standing in the doorway. Ryo stood there speechless, but his dark expressive eyes spoke volumes. They spoke of hurt and betrayal as dizzying thoughts swept through his mind. Dee - his Dee - in the arms of another? And it was JJ, nonetheless. `NOOOOO!' his heart screamed as it seemed to shatter within his broken body. Suddenly finding it hard to breathe, Ryo took one final look into the eyes of the man that he had lost forever, before collapsing as his reeling mind succumbed to a numbing world of black.

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