Fake Fan Fiction ❯ Misery ❯ With Freinds Like These, Who Needs Enemas? ( Chapter 4 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: Kita and Subu-chan 
Anime/Manga: Fake Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy / Action / Drama / Romance / Police | Type: Shounen-ai | Uploaded On: 01.14.2007 | Updated On: 01.14.2007 | Pages: 1 | Words: 1.5K | Visits: 503 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: Fake Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy / Action / Drama / Romance / Police | Type: Shounen-ai | Uploaded On: 01.14.2007 | Updated On: 01.14.2007 | Pages: 1 | Words: 1.5K | Visits: 503 | Status: Work In Progress
Chapter Four-With Friends like These, Who needs Enemas?
Dee woke slowly, more than a little stiff from a night spent in a hospital chair. He jerked fully awake as he remembered where he was and why. The nurse checking Ryo’s pulse jumped as he sat up abruptly. Bikky was awake too and stuck out his tongue as Dee blinked sleep out of his eyes.
The nurse calmed and smiled at him. “Good morning. He’s doing much better this morning. His blood pressure’s almost normal and his pulse is steady. With any luck he should be coming around soon. Maybe even later today.”
Dee sighed with relief, feeling as though an enormous weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He thanked the nurse and held Ryo’s hand for her as she took a blood sample. When she left, he held the same hand pressed to his cheek, pleased to feel the warmth had returned to the skin. Bikky gave him a defiant grimace but said nothing, content to let Dee hold Ryo’s hand as long as he had the reassurances of the nurse that Ryo was doing better.
After he had reassured himself again, Dee went into the room’s small bathroom and cleaned himself up a little. When he felt more like something human, he called Bikky’s school and let them know that Bikky would be out for today, tomorrow, and possibly longer than that. While he was doing so, there was a tap on the door and Drake stuck his head in. He looked like he had been the one to spend a night in a hospital chair, hair mussed and jacket rumpled. He didn’t have a tie and there were dark shadows beneath his gray eyes, but he greeted Bikky cheerfully enough and waited for Dee to hang up the phone.
He grinned tiredly at Dee and glanced at the empty cuff dangling from the bed rail. “I figured you got yourself out of that in no time flat, but I had to come down here to make sure. JJ wouldn’t shut up about it when he called in this morning.”
That seemed odd. “Called in? What’s wrong with him?”
Drake flushed, which struck Dee as even odder. “He took a fall last night and bunged up his shoulder but good. I told him to call in if it was still bothering him this morning. For once the goofball took my advice.”
“A fall?” Dee scratched his rumpled hair. “What happened?”
Drake shrugged. “A little accident. It’s nothing. I’ll check on him after shift. Give him a day or two and he’ll be chasing you down the halls, screaming, ‘Dee-sempai, the Love God!’ again.”
Dee grimaced. “Oh, thank you for that image.”
Drake grinned. “Anytime.” He shoved his fingers through his disheveled hair. “Listen, I’m supposed to tell you that you’re supposed to stay here with Ryo. To quote our beloved chief, ‘Tell that thickheaded idiot that if I see his dumb ass anywhere but in his apartment or at the hospital, I will personally kick it from here to Poughkeepsie.’ You get me?” Drake’s imitation of the chief’s gruff tone was nearly perfect.
Dee scowled but finally relented with a reluctant chuckle. “Old bastard always did know me a little too well.”
Drake snorted. “Sometimes I think he knows all of us a little too well. I’ll head out now if there’s nothing you need. I’ve got a stack of files on the McElroy case waiting for me at the station. And with JJ laid up, guess who has to do all the paperwork?” He shrugged. “So, anything you need?”
“Nothing I can think of. The brat can fetch and carry for me if I need something.”
Drake chuckled as Bikky stuck his tongue out at Dee. “All right. See you later then. We’re still working on finding the bastard who did this to Ryo, Dee. We will get him. That’s a promise. Nobody shoots a cop and gets away with it.”
Dee offered him a grateful smile, surprised to find that he meant it.
Drake nodded and waved goodbye to Bikky as he turned to go.
“Hey, Drake.”
Drake turned back with a raised eyebrow. “Yeah?”
“Don’t think I’ve forgotten you dragging my ass here in handcuffs, buddy. I will pay you back.”
Drake winced and hurried his step. Dee nodded, satisfied. Drake would spend so much time watching his back that he’d never see that that was Dee’s payback. He’d spend the next few weeks jumping at shadows while Dee sat back and laughed his ass off.
Bikky knew what Dee was doing and shook his blonde head. “That’s mean even for you, Perv.”
Dee spared him a glance and a small smirk. “Fair payback for tackling me and cuffing me.”
Bikky scratched his the back of his head. “If I remember right, it was Ted who actually cuffed you. Not Drake.”
“Only cause I kicked Drake’s cuffs into next week.”
Bikky had witnessed the whole skirmish. After he had picked him up at school, Ted had gotten Drake’s frantic phone call and hurried to help him track down and detain the errant detective. Fortunately, Dee wasn’t hard to find. A call from the bartender at the Lies and Alibis saying that a crazy man with a gun was threatening one of his customers for information had led them straight to him.
Bikky shrugged. “Whatever. I’m just saying, man…”
Dee rose to his feet. “Shut up, monkey brat. Keep your eyes on Ryo. I’m going down to the cafeteria for food. What do you want?”
“Milk and whatever they have that doesn’t involve salad, egg salad or, for that matter, mayo.” Bikky answered promptly, making a face. Egg salad was on his ‘never again’ list after he’d had a sandwich at a school picnic that had given him a bad case of food poisoning. And while Ryo wasn’t quite a health nut, he considered salads one of the four basic food groups. Bikky got heartily tired of rabbit food every now and again.
“Gotcha. I’ll be right back.”
“Dee.” Bikky called after him.
“Yeah?”
“I don’t recommend bolting either. Ted had a chat with your favorite nurse last night and told her to keep an eye on you in case you tried to get a little revenge. I saw him here when I took Carol down to the cafeteria.” Bikky shuddered theatrically. “She grinned and started saying something about enemas. I didn’t hang around to hear the rest.”
Dee stared at him in disbelief. “You’re frigging kidding me.”
Bikky looked thoughtful. “What was her name again? Emiry, wasn’t it? Gorilla nurse Emiry?” He used his hands to describe a figure in the air, that of a heavyset, powerfully-built woman. “Built like a bulldozer and mean as a pitbull?”
“Shit.”
Bikky grinned at the door as it closed behind Dee. He’d have to thank Carol for reminding him of nurse Emiry last night. Course, Dee would be pissed at Ted, but then it wasn’t fair that Drake got all the shit. Since the death of his real father many years ago, Bikky had gotten to know everyone at the 27th precinct and he liked most all of them. Marty reminded him of his dad when he had been in a cheerful, expansive mood. Ted was nuts, but funny as hell, and the spastic JJ just made him laugh. Poor Drake always seemed to get the short end of the stick and just accepted everything that came his way phlegmatically.
Bikky grinned at his ploy again and leaned back in his chair, quietly telling the unresponsive Ryo what he had done to curb Dee’s need for revenge. Ryo had always been the one to keep Dee’s temper on a short leash, but with him hospitalized, Bikky figured somebody had to take up the slack.
He grinned again as he heard footsteps in the corridor outside and Dee grumbling under his breath. Dee must have gotten all the way to the cafeteria before he realized he had given Bikky his wallet last night and hadn’t gotten it back yet. Bikky tossed the wallet up in the air and caught it with a mischievous smile.
Dee woke slowly, more than a little stiff from a night spent in a hospital chair. He jerked fully awake as he remembered where he was and why. The nurse checking Ryo’s pulse jumped as he sat up abruptly. Bikky was awake too and stuck out his tongue as Dee blinked sleep out of his eyes.
The nurse calmed and smiled at him. “Good morning. He’s doing much better this morning. His blood pressure’s almost normal and his pulse is steady. With any luck he should be coming around soon. Maybe even later today.”
Dee sighed with relief, feeling as though an enormous weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He thanked the nurse and held Ryo’s hand for her as she took a blood sample. When she left, he held the same hand pressed to his cheek, pleased to feel the warmth had returned to the skin. Bikky gave him a defiant grimace but said nothing, content to let Dee hold Ryo’s hand as long as he had the reassurances of the nurse that Ryo was doing better.
After he had reassured himself again, Dee went into the room’s small bathroom and cleaned himself up a little. When he felt more like something human, he called Bikky’s school and let them know that Bikky would be out for today, tomorrow, and possibly longer than that. While he was doing so, there was a tap on the door and Drake stuck his head in. He looked like he had been the one to spend a night in a hospital chair, hair mussed and jacket rumpled. He didn’t have a tie and there were dark shadows beneath his gray eyes, but he greeted Bikky cheerfully enough and waited for Dee to hang up the phone.
He grinned tiredly at Dee and glanced at the empty cuff dangling from the bed rail. “I figured you got yourself out of that in no time flat, but I had to come down here to make sure. JJ wouldn’t shut up about it when he called in this morning.”
That seemed odd. “Called in? What’s wrong with him?”
Drake flushed, which struck Dee as even odder. “He took a fall last night and bunged up his shoulder but good. I told him to call in if it was still bothering him this morning. For once the goofball took my advice.”
“A fall?” Dee scratched his rumpled hair. “What happened?”
Drake shrugged. “A little accident. It’s nothing. I’ll check on him after shift. Give him a day or two and he’ll be chasing you down the halls, screaming, ‘Dee-sempai, the Love God!’ again.”
Dee grimaced. “Oh, thank you for that image.”
Drake grinned. “Anytime.” He shoved his fingers through his disheveled hair. “Listen, I’m supposed to tell you that you’re supposed to stay here with Ryo. To quote our beloved chief, ‘Tell that thickheaded idiot that if I see his dumb ass anywhere but in his apartment or at the hospital, I will personally kick it from here to Poughkeepsie.’ You get me?” Drake’s imitation of the chief’s gruff tone was nearly perfect.
Dee scowled but finally relented with a reluctant chuckle. “Old bastard always did know me a little too well.”
Drake snorted. “Sometimes I think he knows all of us a little too well. I’ll head out now if there’s nothing you need. I’ve got a stack of files on the McElroy case waiting for me at the station. And with JJ laid up, guess who has to do all the paperwork?” He shrugged. “So, anything you need?”
“Nothing I can think of. The brat can fetch and carry for me if I need something.”
Drake chuckled as Bikky stuck his tongue out at Dee. “All right. See you later then. We’re still working on finding the bastard who did this to Ryo, Dee. We will get him. That’s a promise. Nobody shoots a cop and gets away with it.”
Dee offered him a grateful smile, surprised to find that he meant it.
Drake nodded and waved goodbye to Bikky as he turned to go.
“Hey, Drake.”
Drake turned back with a raised eyebrow. “Yeah?”
“Don’t think I’ve forgotten you dragging my ass here in handcuffs, buddy. I will pay you back.”
Drake winced and hurried his step. Dee nodded, satisfied. Drake would spend so much time watching his back that he’d never see that that was Dee’s payback. He’d spend the next few weeks jumping at shadows while Dee sat back and laughed his ass off.
Bikky knew what Dee was doing and shook his blonde head. “That’s mean even for you, Perv.”
Dee spared him a glance and a small smirk. “Fair payback for tackling me and cuffing me.”
Bikky scratched his the back of his head. “If I remember right, it was Ted who actually cuffed you. Not Drake.”
“Only cause I kicked Drake’s cuffs into next week.”
Bikky had witnessed the whole skirmish. After he had picked him up at school, Ted had gotten Drake’s frantic phone call and hurried to help him track down and detain the errant detective. Fortunately, Dee wasn’t hard to find. A call from the bartender at the Lies and Alibis saying that a crazy man with a gun was threatening one of his customers for information had led them straight to him.
Bikky shrugged. “Whatever. I’m just saying, man…”
Dee rose to his feet. “Shut up, monkey brat. Keep your eyes on Ryo. I’m going down to the cafeteria for food. What do you want?”
“Milk and whatever they have that doesn’t involve salad, egg salad or, for that matter, mayo.” Bikky answered promptly, making a face. Egg salad was on his ‘never again’ list after he’d had a sandwich at a school picnic that had given him a bad case of food poisoning. And while Ryo wasn’t quite a health nut, he considered salads one of the four basic food groups. Bikky got heartily tired of rabbit food every now and again.
“Gotcha. I’ll be right back.”
“Dee.” Bikky called after him.
“Yeah?”
“I don’t recommend bolting either. Ted had a chat with your favorite nurse last night and told her to keep an eye on you in case you tried to get a little revenge. I saw him here when I took Carol down to the cafeteria.” Bikky shuddered theatrically. “She grinned and started saying something about enemas. I didn’t hang around to hear the rest.”
Dee stared at him in disbelief. “You’re frigging kidding me.”
Bikky looked thoughtful. “What was her name again? Emiry, wasn’t it? Gorilla nurse Emiry?” He used his hands to describe a figure in the air, that of a heavyset, powerfully-built woman. “Built like a bulldozer and mean as a pitbull?”
“Shit.”
Bikky grinned at the door as it closed behind Dee. He’d have to thank Carol for reminding him of nurse Emiry last night. Course, Dee would be pissed at Ted, but then it wasn’t fair that Drake got all the shit. Since the death of his real father many years ago, Bikky had gotten to know everyone at the 27th precinct and he liked most all of them. Marty reminded him of his dad when he had been in a cheerful, expansive mood. Ted was nuts, but funny as hell, and the spastic JJ just made him laugh. Poor Drake always seemed to get the short end of the stick and just accepted everything that came his way phlegmatically.
Bikky grinned at his ploy again and leaned back in his chair, quietly telling the unresponsive Ryo what he had done to curb Dee’s need for revenge. Ryo had always been the one to keep Dee’s temper on a short leash, but with him hospitalized, Bikky figured somebody had to take up the slack.
He grinned again as he heard footsteps in the corridor outside and Dee grumbling under his breath. Dee must have gotten all the way to the cafeteria before he realized he had given Bikky his wallet last night and hadn’t gotten it back yet. Bikky tossed the wallet up in the air and caught it with a mischievous smile.