Fake Fan Fiction ❯ Misery ❯ Casual Dreams ( Chapter 5 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: Kita and Subu-chan 
Anime/Manga: Fake Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy / Action / Drama / Romance / Police | Type: Shounen-ai | Uploaded On: 01.14.2007 | Updated On: 01.14.2007 | Pages: 2 | Words: 3.1K | Visits: 483 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: Fake Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy / Action / Drama / Romance / Police | Type: Shounen-ai | Uploaded On: 01.14.2007 | Updated On: 01.14.2007 | Pages: 2 | Words: 3.1K | Visits: 483 | Status: Work In Progress
Chapter Five-Casual Dreams
Drake sighed as he pushed back from his desk. The office seemed too quiet without JJ. He glanced at the clock. His shift was damn near over. Maybe he’d take off a few minutes early to go check on JJ before he headed home. He shoved the paperwork to one side and yawned, standing and stretching the muscles in his back.
He gave the papers one last disdainful glance before grabbing his jacket. Poor Officer Ellis had been singularly unhelpful, not that he was deliberately trying to be. The suspect had been involved in a bank robbery and Ellis had been unlucky enough to be the first on the scene. He had tracked the man to the warehouse district when the perp had decided to open fire. Ellis had never even gotten a good look at him.
Shaking his head, Drake waved goodbye to Ted on his way out. On a whim, he decided to stop at the pharmacy and pick up a couple things for JJ. It wasn’t like there was anyone waiting at home for him anyway. He had come home about a month ago to Brandy’s note on pink stationary taped to his door. She felt he ‘wasn’t committed to making this relationship work’ and hoped they ‘could still be friends.’ Drake still wouldn’t answer her phone calls and when she had showed up on his doorstep to talk to him had opened the door far enough to hand her all of her left-behind stuff, neatly packed into a box, before closing the door in her face. It had cost him an hour of her yelling through the door (till Carla Jenkins across the hall had told her in no uncertain terms to shut up and slapped her when she hadn’t) and a little bit of guilt, but on the whole, he had been immensely cheered by the moment. As a rule, he was on good terms with most of his ex-girlfriends, but she had pissed him off and he had felt liberated enough to express it.
He picked up some more gauze and a topical painkiller/antibiotic in the pharmacy. If he was any judge, that shoulder had to be hurting like hell. He stopped at the deli across the street and picked up food for both of them. The least he could do would be to bring dinner, right? Wincing at the smell of the jalapenos from JJ’s favorite sandwich, he drove to JJ’s apartment building. He was always a little unnerved by the place. Only uptown places had rent-a-cops guarding the front. How the hell did JJ afford a place like this on a detective’s salary? In someone else, he might have suspected they were dirty, but JJ was so clean he squeaked.
He passed the security guard, flashing his badge when the old man gave him a suspicious look. “I’m Mr. Adams partner, remember? I came to check on him and bring him some dinner.”
The guard’s face cleared and he let Drake pass. Drake took the elevator up and tapped on JJ’s door. He heard a groan from inside and then JJ’s voice, strained with pain. “Hang on. I’ll be right there.”
JJ opened the door, wrapped in a blue terrycloth robe. He blinked at Drake and then much to his surprise, turned red.
“JJ, you okay?”
JJ had to visibly pull himself together. “Uh, y-yeah. Sorry, the shoulder’s just bugging me.” He stepped back to let Drake into his neat living room.
Drake frowned at him but said nothing more than, “By way of apology, I bring dinner and painkillers.”
JJ laughed a little breathlessly, wincing when it hurt his shoulder. “You don’t-ow!-have to apologize. I was just a little on edge. It’s more my fault than yours.”
Drake frowned at him again, thinking that JJ seemed to be acting a little odd. “You look like hell. Have you taken anything for that?”
JJ shook his head. “Not since last night.”
Drake bopped him on the head affectionately. “Idiot. You sit down and eat while I get you something to wash down a couple of ibuprofen.”
JJ meekly did as he was told and Drake handed him his heartburn special. JJ unwrapped it and offered Drake a weak grin. “My favorite.”
“You bet. Now eat while I get you something to take for that.”
“Sir, yes, sir.”
Drake grinned and flipped him a mock salute before going in search of water or something.
Drake was too damned nice for his own good. JJ watched him head for the kitchen, chewing slowly on a bite of his sandwich. His heart hurt almost as badly as his abused shoulder. If he loved Dee so much why the hell was Drake the one foremost in his thoughts? And he did love Dee. He had never stopped loving him; no matter how many times Dee had shoved him away.
JJ felt more than a little out-of-sorts. His sleep had been restless last night, broken by the ache in his shoulder and…
He felt himself blushing again. Drake would never forgive him if he knew JJ’d been having fucking awesome wet dreams about him. JJ swallowed hard, forcing the bite down. God, he’d had some dreams about Dee before and as an adolescent, of course, but nothing like last night’s hit parade. He’d come at least twice in his sleep. God, if Drake only knew…
Drake returned with a glass of soda and a couple of painkillers and JJ was glad his sandwich was resting in his lap. Just the memory of those dreams last night… Meekly, he took the painkillers and forced himself to eat a little more as Drake propped his hip on the arm of the couch and dug into his own dinner. “How’re you feeling?”
JJ had to swallow before he could answer. “Okay, I guess. Just sore and a little tired. The shoulder kept me from sleeping well last night.”
Drake scowled thoughtfully. “Should I drive you to the doctor? You might have cracked something. You did hit the corner of the desk pretty hard, y’know?”
JJ shook his head, suppressing a wince as the movement pulled at the muscles in his back. Drake caught it though. “Is it still hurting that bad?”
“I’m okay, Drake-sempai. Really.”
Drake frowned, but let the lie pass. “Take tomorrow off too. If it’s still bugging you that bad after that, I’m taking you to the hospital.” Drake scowled at him and tapped the end of JJ’s nose with his plastic fork. “And that means no trying to fake your way out of it, either. I can tell when you’re hurting, comprende?”
“But…”
“No buts!” Drake leaned in too close for JJ’s comfort, especially with the memories of last night’s dreams still fresh. JJ tried not to flinch. “You call in tomorrow too and rest up. I’ll come check on you after work. If it’s still bugging you, I will take you to the hospital if I have to drag you there kicking and screaming.”
JJ gave in. “Alright.”
“Promise me, JJ.”
JJ sighed. “I promise.”
Drake leaned back. “That’s better. I swear you can be a bigger baby than Dee sometimes.”
JJ flinched at the sound of Dee’s name. It still hurt, a bone-deep searing ache worse than his injured shoulder. His crying jag last night had only dulled the pain a little. “How’s Ryo?” He asked desperately.
Drake sighed. “A little better. I called Dee and he said that his blood pressure has stabilized and hopefully he should be coming around soon. The doctors are optimistic since he’s made it this far. He was lucky to have survived the bullet through the lung at all.”
“Yeah.” JJ slumped, missing the worried expression that crossed Drake’s face.
“JJ, he’ll be okay.” Drake reached out and caught his chin, tipping his head up so their eyes met squarely. “I know what’s going through that head of yours. The shooting was in no way your fault. Occasionally wishing someone would drop off the face of the earth does not mean it will happen. Your envy and jealousy of Ryo didn’t cause him to be shot.”
JJ gawped at Drake, completely and utterly unable to form words. At last he managed to get his tongue unstuck. “H-how-?”
“Did I manage to know what you were thinking? There’s not a person in the world that hasn’t thought that at some point. You’ve only made your feelings for Dee loud and clear. It’s natural that you’d be jealous of Ryo. At some point you wished he’d go away, didn’t you?”
JJ blinked. Since when had Drake been able to read him so well?
“I’ll take that as a yes. There was no voodoo or bad karma involved in him getting shot. Just bad luck and being in the wrong place at the wrong time. You had nothing to do with it. So tell that guilty conscience to shove off and cheer the hell up, okay? I hate it when you mope.”
JJ mulled that over in stunned silence. Logically, he knew he had nothing to do with the shooting, but his heart was having a hard time believing it. Having someone else tell him the same thing eased his mind a little. And Drake hated it when he moped? Where had that come from?
But now that he thought about it, it was true. Whenever Dee had pushed him away, Drake had been nearby to offer a consoling word or a distraction. Every time he had started to feel down, Drake had managed to cheer him.
JJ shivered a little. Was he crazy in thinking like this? Drake wasn’t his lover.
But he could be, a niggling doubt murmured in his mind. Remember the dreams. It could be like that.
The feel of skin sliding against skin, the crush of Drake’s strong arms around him, the heat of their bodies pressed together all whispered seductively through his thoughts. The warmth of Drake’s hand on his chin was enough to make the sensations come to life. He was very glad the remains of his dinner were still in his lap. He had to fight an urge to drag Drake’s head down and kiss him till he didn’t know which way was up.
And he wanted to; wanted to so badly that it was a physical ache. JJ was shocked at himself. Drake was his friend, not…
“JJ?”
Drake’s concerned voice dragged him back to reality and JJ jumped, tugging his chin free of Drake’s warm fingers. “I’m sorry, Drake-sempai. I guess I’m more tired than I thought. I must have been drifting.” He shook his head. “I know you’re right, but I still feel guilty.”
Drake chuckled. “Join the rest of the human race, JJ. We all feel that way every now and again.” JJ fought the urge to duck as Drake ruffled his hair as he had done so many times before. “Tell you what, let me change your bandage and you can go to bed early; catch up on some of that sleep you missed.”
JJ flushed. “That’s okay, you don’t have to.” The thought of Drake’s gentle fingers on his back made him shiver.
Drake shrugged. “I don’t mind. Besides, you can’t exactly reach it, can you?” He dug in the bag he had brought with him. “Anyway, I brought something to put on it to dull the pain. Maybe that’ll let you get some sleep.”
It was clear that Drake wasn’t going to give up, so JJ acquiesced reluctantly, slipping the robe off his shoulders with a carefulness that had very little to do with how bad his shoulder hurt. He clenched his hands in his lap as Drake sat behind him and eased the tape off his bruised skin.
Drake made a sound of surprise. “I won’t say it looks better, cause it’s turned some interesting new colors, but at least it’s not bleeding anymore.” He rose and returned with the peroxide. JJ flinched from the sting of the cold liquid.
Drake steadied him. “Sorry. I know that hurts.” He blotted the peroxide away and then gently smoothed on the painkilling antibiotic. JJ sighed as it dulled the edge of the stabbing pain. “Better?”
“Much. Thank you, Drake-sempai.”
“Sure.” Drake gently added a fresh pad of gauze and taped it into place with sure fingers.
He helped JJ ease the robe back up. JJ felt on more stable ground with it on and managed a feeble joke. “You make a good nurse, Drake-sempai. You’d look good in the little white outfit.”
Drake scowled at him and swatted the top of his head gently. “Moron.”
JJ managed a weak grin.
Drake sighed but his lips quirked in a small smile. “Alright, nutcase, I’ll leave you to get some sleep. I mean it about taking the day off and seeing if that helps. If it doesn’t…” He left the threat unfinished but JJ raised his hands in surrender.
“I know, I know. The whole drag me to the hospital, kicking and screaming bit. I understand.”
“Good. As long as we’re both on the same page.” Drake waved a cheery goodbye and headed for the front door.
JJ watched him let himself out and shook his head. “Oh no, Drake-sempai. There’s no way we’re on the same page. Hell, we’re not even in the same book.”
He struggled to his feet and put away the rest of the sandwich and crawled into bed. He curled up on his side and stared at the shadows outside his window. Was he crazy? He loved Dee, but Dee wasn’t his and never would be. Ryo had captured Dee’s heart as effortlessly as Dee had once captured JJ’s.
JJ found his thoughts returning to Drake without his willing them to. They had been partners for a long time and were a good team. Sometimes they were so in sync they could finish each other’s sentences, and they had gotten the sport of bluffing the chief down to an art form when they didn’t have the answers he was looking for. JJ thought back to how easily they worked together, one making up for the other’s shortcomings. JJ was by far the better marksman, but Drake had the people skills he lacked. Drake was able to make amazing intuitive leaps about their cases, but he was utterly disorganized when it came to paperwork. Half their reports would never get filed if JJ hadn’t either constantly prodded Drake to do them or (more often) done them himself.
Drake had been at his side through a lot of shit and he had never faltered. He offered JJ support when his confidence lagged and always had a joke when cheering was what he needed. God, if he thought about it, it was more like Drake was his lover than Dee ever was. Drake always knew when he was down and could be counted on to offer a distraction if it was needed.
JJ pulled a pillow over his head with unnecessary violence and groaned. Drake, Drake, Drake! He was like a frigging broken record! God, what the hell was he thinking? Drake wasn’t interested. He had gone through several girlfriends since they had been partners. Not one boyfriend in the bunch. There was no way he would ever look at JJ as anything other than his partner.
JJ groaned again. Man, he needed to get laid. His last date had been nearly a year ago, and the last time he’d had sex… Well, he couldn’t remember that far back. He had never been overly promiscuous, but he had enjoyed company regularly before he came here. But when he was near Dee, no one else mattered. After it had been made clear Dee wasn’t interested, he had accepted a few invitations, but nothing major had ever come from them. He didn’t do one-night stands. His sex life was at a standstill.
He’d had one experience with a normally straight man a few years back. JJ had been overly depressed after a stinging rejection from Dee and Drake had been out of town. He’d gone out for a drink and met Steve, who was hurting from a rejection of his own. His girlfriend of six years had left him and he was determined to get drunk enough to forget her. He was well on his way when JJ had come into the bar. JJ was never sure how it had started, but the two of them had wound up in a hotel room together. The sex had been good, but the morning after guilt trip Steve had laid on himself had turned JJ off to any more casual sex with normally straight men.
He turned over, eliciting a dull stab from his shoulder, and tried not to think about it any more. Weariness caught up with him and he was starting to drift off when a question occurred to him and followed him down into the darkness of sleep. With Drake, would it-no, could it be casual?
Drake sighed as he pushed back from his desk. The office seemed too quiet without JJ. He glanced at the clock. His shift was damn near over. Maybe he’d take off a few minutes early to go check on JJ before he headed home. He shoved the paperwork to one side and yawned, standing and stretching the muscles in his back.
He gave the papers one last disdainful glance before grabbing his jacket. Poor Officer Ellis had been singularly unhelpful, not that he was deliberately trying to be. The suspect had been involved in a bank robbery and Ellis had been unlucky enough to be the first on the scene. He had tracked the man to the warehouse district when the perp had decided to open fire. Ellis had never even gotten a good look at him.
Shaking his head, Drake waved goodbye to Ted on his way out. On a whim, he decided to stop at the pharmacy and pick up a couple things for JJ. It wasn’t like there was anyone waiting at home for him anyway. He had come home about a month ago to Brandy’s note on pink stationary taped to his door. She felt he ‘wasn’t committed to making this relationship work’ and hoped they ‘could still be friends.’ Drake still wouldn’t answer her phone calls and when she had showed up on his doorstep to talk to him had opened the door far enough to hand her all of her left-behind stuff, neatly packed into a box, before closing the door in her face. It had cost him an hour of her yelling through the door (till Carla Jenkins across the hall had told her in no uncertain terms to shut up and slapped her when she hadn’t) and a little bit of guilt, but on the whole, he had been immensely cheered by the moment. As a rule, he was on good terms with most of his ex-girlfriends, but she had pissed him off and he had felt liberated enough to express it.
He picked up some more gauze and a topical painkiller/antibiotic in the pharmacy. If he was any judge, that shoulder had to be hurting like hell. He stopped at the deli across the street and picked up food for both of them. The least he could do would be to bring dinner, right? Wincing at the smell of the jalapenos from JJ’s favorite sandwich, he drove to JJ’s apartment building. He was always a little unnerved by the place. Only uptown places had rent-a-cops guarding the front. How the hell did JJ afford a place like this on a detective’s salary? In someone else, he might have suspected they were dirty, but JJ was so clean he squeaked.
He passed the security guard, flashing his badge when the old man gave him a suspicious look. “I’m Mr. Adams partner, remember? I came to check on him and bring him some dinner.”
The guard’s face cleared and he let Drake pass. Drake took the elevator up and tapped on JJ’s door. He heard a groan from inside and then JJ’s voice, strained with pain. “Hang on. I’ll be right there.”
JJ opened the door, wrapped in a blue terrycloth robe. He blinked at Drake and then much to his surprise, turned red.
“JJ, you okay?”
JJ had to visibly pull himself together. “Uh, y-yeah. Sorry, the shoulder’s just bugging me.” He stepped back to let Drake into his neat living room.
Drake frowned at him but said nothing more than, “By way of apology, I bring dinner and painkillers.”
JJ laughed a little breathlessly, wincing when it hurt his shoulder. “You don’t-ow!-have to apologize. I was just a little on edge. It’s more my fault than yours.”
Drake frowned at him again, thinking that JJ seemed to be acting a little odd. “You look like hell. Have you taken anything for that?”
JJ shook his head. “Not since last night.”
Drake bopped him on the head affectionately. “Idiot. You sit down and eat while I get you something to wash down a couple of ibuprofen.”
JJ meekly did as he was told and Drake handed him his heartburn special. JJ unwrapped it and offered Drake a weak grin. “My favorite.”
“You bet. Now eat while I get you something to take for that.”
“Sir, yes, sir.”
Drake grinned and flipped him a mock salute before going in search of water or something.
Drake was too damned nice for his own good. JJ watched him head for the kitchen, chewing slowly on a bite of his sandwich. His heart hurt almost as badly as his abused shoulder. If he loved Dee so much why the hell was Drake the one foremost in his thoughts? And he did love Dee. He had never stopped loving him; no matter how many times Dee had shoved him away.
JJ felt more than a little out-of-sorts. His sleep had been restless last night, broken by the ache in his shoulder and…
He felt himself blushing again. Drake would never forgive him if he knew JJ’d been having fucking awesome wet dreams about him. JJ swallowed hard, forcing the bite down. God, he’d had some dreams about Dee before and as an adolescent, of course, but nothing like last night’s hit parade. He’d come at least twice in his sleep. God, if Drake only knew…
Drake returned with a glass of soda and a couple of painkillers and JJ was glad his sandwich was resting in his lap. Just the memory of those dreams last night… Meekly, he took the painkillers and forced himself to eat a little more as Drake propped his hip on the arm of the couch and dug into his own dinner. “How’re you feeling?”
JJ had to swallow before he could answer. “Okay, I guess. Just sore and a little tired. The shoulder kept me from sleeping well last night.”
Drake scowled thoughtfully. “Should I drive you to the doctor? You might have cracked something. You did hit the corner of the desk pretty hard, y’know?”
JJ shook his head, suppressing a wince as the movement pulled at the muscles in his back. Drake caught it though. “Is it still hurting that bad?”
“I’m okay, Drake-sempai. Really.”
Drake frowned, but let the lie pass. “Take tomorrow off too. If it’s still bugging you that bad after that, I’m taking you to the hospital.” Drake scowled at him and tapped the end of JJ’s nose with his plastic fork. “And that means no trying to fake your way out of it, either. I can tell when you’re hurting, comprende?”
“But…”
“No buts!” Drake leaned in too close for JJ’s comfort, especially with the memories of last night’s dreams still fresh. JJ tried not to flinch. “You call in tomorrow too and rest up. I’ll come check on you after work. If it’s still bugging you, I will take you to the hospital if I have to drag you there kicking and screaming.”
JJ gave in. “Alright.”
“Promise me, JJ.”
JJ sighed. “I promise.”
Drake leaned back. “That’s better. I swear you can be a bigger baby than Dee sometimes.”
JJ flinched at the sound of Dee’s name. It still hurt, a bone-deep searing ache worse than his injured shoulder. His crying jag last night had only dulled the pain a little. “How’s Ryo?” He asked desperately.
Drake sighed. “A little better. I called Dee and he said that his blood pressure has stabilized and hopefully he should be coming around soon. The doctors are optimistic since he’s made it this far. He was lucky to have survived the bullet through the lung at all.”
“Yeah.” JJ slumped, missing the worried expression that crossed Drake’s face.
“JJ, he’ll be okay.” Drake reached out and caught his chin, tipping his head up so their eyes met squarely. “I know what’s going through that head of yours. The shooting was in no way your fault. Occasionally wishing someone would drop off the face of the earth does not mean it will happen. Your envy and jealousy of Ryo didn’t cause him to be shot.”
JJ gawped at Drake, completely and utterly unable to form words. At last he managed to get his tongue unstuck. “H-how-?”
“Did I manage to know what you were thinking? There’s not a person in the world that hasn’t thought that at some point. You’ve only made your feelings for Dee loud and clear. It’s natural that you’d be jealous of Ryo. At some point you wished he’d go away, didn’t you?”
JJ blinked. Since when had Drake been able to read him so well?
“I’ll take that as a yes. There was no voodoo or bad karma involved in him getting shot. Just bad luck and being in the wrong place at the wrong time. You had nothing to do with it. So tell that guilty conscience to shove off and cheer the hell up, okay? I hate it when you mope.”
JJ mulled that over in stunned silence. Logically, he knew he had nothing to do with the shooting, but his heart was having a hard time believing it. Having someone else tell him the same thing eased his mind a little. And Drake hated it when he moped? Where had that come from?
But now that he thought about it, it was true. Whenever Dee had pushed him away, Drake had been nearby to offer a consoling word or a distraction. Every time he had started to feel down, Drake had managed to cheer him.
JJ shivered a little. Was he crazy in thinking like this? Drake wasn’t his lover.
But he could be, a niggling doubt murmured in his mind. Remember the dreams. It could be like that.
The feel of skin sliding against skin, the crush of Drake’s strong arms around him, the heat of their bodies pressed together all whispered seductively through his thoughts. The warmth of Drake’s hand on his chin was enough to make the sensations come to life. He was very glad the remains of his dinner were still in his lap. He had to fight an urge to drag Drake’s head down and kiss him till he didn’t know which way was up.
And he wanted to; wanted to so badly that it was a physical ache. JJ was shocked at himself. Drake was his friend, not…
“JJ?”
Drake’s concerned voice dragged him back to reality and JJ jumped, tugging his chin free of Drake’s warm fingers. “I’m sorry, Drake-sempai. I guess I’m more tired than I thought. I must have been drifting.” He shook his head. “I know you’re right, but I still feel guilty.”
Drake chuckled. “Join the rest of the human race, JJ. We all feel that way every now and again.” JJ fought the urge to duck as Drake ruffled his hair as he had done so many times before. “Tell you what, let me change your bandage and you can go to bed early; catch up on some of that sleep you missed.”
JJ flushed. “That’s okay, you don’t have to.” The thought of Drake’s gentle fingers on his back made him shiver.
Drake shrugged. “I don’t mind. Besides, you can’t exactly reach it, can you?” He dug in the bag he had brought with him. “Anyway, I brought something to put on it to dull the pain. Maybe that’ll let you get some sleep.”
It was clear that Drake wasn’t going to give up, so JJ acquiesced reluctantly, slipping the robe off his shoulders with a carefulness that had very little to do with how bad his shoulder hurt. He clenched his hands in his lap as Drake sat behind him and eased the tape off his bruised skin.
Drake made a sound of surprise. “I won’t say it looks better, cause it’s turned some interesting new colors, but at least it’s not bleeding anymore.” He rose and returned with the peroxide. JJ flinched from the sting of the cold liquid.
Drake steadied him. “Sorry. I know that hurts.” He blotted the peroxide away and then gently smoothed on the painkilling antibiotic. JJ sighed as it dulled the edge of the stabbing pain. “Better?”
“Much. Thank you, Drake-sempai.”
“Sure.” Drake gently added a fresh pad of gauze and taped it into place with sure fingers.
He helped JJ ease the robe back up. JJ felt on more stable ground with it on and managed a feeble joke. “You make a good nurse, Drake-sempai. You’d look good in the little white outfit.”
Drake scowled at him and swatted the top of his head gently. “Moron.”
JJ managed a weak grin.
Drake sighed but his lips quirked in a small smile. “Alright, nutcase, I’ll leave you to get some sleep. I mean it about taking the day off and seeing if that helps. If it doesn’t…” He left the threat unfinished but JJ raised his hands in surrender.
“I know, I know. The whole drag me to the hospital, kicking and screaming bit. I understand.”
“Good. As long as we’re both on the same page.” Drake waved a cheery goodbye and headed for the front door.
JJ watched him let himself out and shook his head. “Oh no, Drake-sempai. There’s no way we’re on the same page. Hell, we’re not even in the same book.”
He struggled to his feet and put away the rest of the sandwich and crawled into bed. He curled up on his side and stared at the shadows outside his window. Was he crazy? He loved Dee, but Dee wasn’t his and never would be. Ryo had captured Dee’s heart as effortlessly as Dee had once captured JJ’s.
JJ found his thoughts returning to Drake without his willing them to. They had been partners for a long time and were a good team. Sometimes they were so in sync they could finish each other’s sentences, and they had gotten the sport of bluffing the chief down to an art form when they didn’t have the answers he was looking for. JJ thought back to how easily they worked together, one making up for the other’s shortcomings. JJ was by far the better marksman, but Drake had the people skills he lacked. Drake was able to make amazing intuitive leaps about their cases, but he was utterly disorganized when it came to paperwork. Half their reports would never get filed if JJ hadn’t either constantly prodded Drake to do them or (more often) done them himself.
Drake had been at his side through a lot of shit and he had never faltered. He offered JJ support when his confidence lagged and always had a joke when cheering was what he needed. God, if he thought about it, it was more like Drake was his lover than Dee ever was. Drake always knew when he was down and could be counted on to offer a distraction if it was needed.
JJ pulled a pillow over his head with unnecessary violence and groaned. Drake, Drake, Drake! He was like a frigging broken record! God, what the hell was he thinking? Drake wasn’t interested. He had gone through several girlfriends since they had been partners. Not one boyfriend in the bunch. There was no way he would ever look at JJ as anything other than his partner.
JJ groaned again. Man, he needed to get laid. His last date had been nearly a year ago, and the last time he’d had sex… Well, he couldn’t remember that far back. He had never been overly promiscuous, but he had enjoyed company regularly before he came here. But when he was near Dee, no one else mattered. After it had been made clear Dee wasn’t interested, he had accepted a few invitations, but nothing major had ever come from them. He didn’t do one-night stands. His sex life was at a standstill.
He’d had one experience with a normally straight man a few years back. JJ had been overly depressed after a stinging rejection from Dee and Drake had been out of town. He’d gone out for a drink and met Steve, who was hurting from a rejection of his own. His girlfriend of six years had left him and he was determined to get drunk enough to forget her. He was well on his way when JJ had come into the bar. JJ was never sure how it had started, but the two of them had wound up in a hotel room together. The sex had been good, but the morning after guilt trip Steve had laid on himself had turned JJ off to any more casual sex with normally straight men.
He turned over, eliciting a dull stab from his shoulder, and tried not to think about it any more. Weariness caught up with him and he was starting to drift off when a question occurred to him and followed him down into the darkness of sleep. With Drake, would it-no, could it be casual?