Fake Fan Fiction ❯ Time for Healing ❯ You've Left Me Now ( Chapter 10 )

Disclaimer: We do not own FAKE or its characters. They belong to Sanami Matoh, lucky girl! Any original characters belong to either Irish or Wildefyre. *See Author's Notes at the end for the proper credits and profiles on those.
Warnings: Thus far just Shounen AI but then again that's what FAKE is anyway. It may become Yaoi further along. This may have the guys out of Character somewhat, so Gomen for that and we are taking some creative freedom on histories & backgrounds and lives as they are now... Deal with it! ^_~

Ryo sat in the chair staring aimlessly out the window, watching the rain drops splatter against the window. It was no different in his heart as tears fell there just as much as they fell from his eyes. This whole mess was a nightmare, only he was awake and living it for real. Sighing heavily he tried to settle himself but every time he did he heard the words that had sprung from Dee's lips and saw the image of Bikky, fear in his eyes and backing away from him.

When the door to the study opened, he didn't even bother to turn his head. He was a mere empty shell now, for Dee was the substance that filled his heart and soul.

Lyn tried to smile as he dragged a hand through his hair and looked at the clock. Both he and Ryo were late for work, which meant more phone calls to be made. "That was An on the phone..." He paused waiting to see if this had any effect on the mannequin in the chair in front of him.

"Is Bikky okay?" Ryo's voice was robotic, emotionless at best. "If he needs to go to the hospital I can take him..." That thought had Ryo lowering his head. "My God what kind of potential father am I? He was hurt and what did I do? I ran out on him! I had the nerve to call Dee a coward when in reality I'm the coward! I ran! I ran out when my child needed me." Ryo kept his face down in his arms, ashamed of this latest revelation.

Lyn knelt down in front of him. "He's fine Ryo. Andrew said it was nothing to worry about. Bikky's on his way over here now and Dee sends his love." He paused again waiting to see if that caused any reaction.

"He's coming here?" Ryo looked up at him the latter statement hitting him as well. "Love? Yeah right! He most likely was on his pain meds when he said that." This time the voice did contain emotion... Sarcasm.

Lyn shook his head and tossed his hair out of his eyes. "Andrew wouldn't have passed it on if he doubted Dee's sincerity... I highly doubt An's given Dee his pain meds, and yes Bikky should be here soon. We all care about you very much Ryo and want to help you."

"Thank you. I don't know about Dee though. He can't just play with my heart like this. It hurts too damn much. I feel like a piece of silly putty that he keeps getting bounced around. I just can't deal with this or with him right now." Ryo sighed and then finally noticed how Lyn was dressed.

"Oh God Lyn I'm sorry! I'm keeping you from work. I'm so sorry..." The walls he was slowly rebuilding were crumbling again. "As soon as Bikky gets here, we'll take off. I'm really sorry."

"Pffft screw that. I was just about to call in... The world of legal aid can manage without me for the day, I promise. Can you call yourself in or should I do it...?"

"Are you sure about taking off? I don't want to be the cause of any trouble Lyn. You've gone above and beyond that of a friend and for that I will always be grateful." Ryo ran his hand through his hair and looked at Lyn sadly. "I-I should call in. Usually I can get our receptionist and not one of the guys. I can't face them, not yet anyway. Good lord what will I do with that? Having to face them, knowing how much I have screwed up?"

"One step at a time Ryo." Lyn handed him the phone. "And it's fine. No big deal. I promise. It's not like I do much litigation any more. You call in, I will go make some more tea and get Kei and Annie up then we will talk some more all right?" Lyn looked down at himself, still only half dressed in black slacks, his belt hanging unbuckled from his belt loops. "I think I will put a shirt on too..." Lyn smiled and gave Ryo's shoulder a squeeze. "It will be all right. We will work through this."

For some reason the whole thing seemed funny and Ryo burst into a light laughter. "Do you realize how this must look with you here and no shirt on and all? God if Bikky were here the poor kid would have been traumatized for sure." Everything that had happened was working against Ryo's mentality and physical nature. All the fatigue stress and anxiety... It was like being on an emotional roller coaster and going from one extreme to the next.

"Nah I'm not traumatized but that tattoo kicks ass man!" Both men turned to the doorway of the study where Bikky stood dripping on Lyn's rug and hardwood floor. Lyn twisted his head to see his back and the tattoo in question. A Celtic knot that ran from the base of his neck and down his spine to disappear into the waistband of his pants.

"Thanks Bikky. There are towels in the bathroom. Let me go make you some hot chocolate." Lyn patted the boy on the head as he passed, leaving Bikky and his guardian to chat.

"I didn't even notice the tattoos." Ryo smiled slightly and then saw the band-aid on Bikky's cheek. "Oh God Bikky I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you... I'm so sorry." Tears sprang into Ryo's eyes as he held his arms out to him. He knew Bikky wasn't the affectionate kind but right now that was exactly what he needed from his foster son.

Bikky stood in the doorway of the study a moment, skates in hand then ran across the room, soaking wet, throwing his arms around Ryo and hugging him tightly. "Hey it's no biggie. It's barely a scratch. You've probably done worse to yourself shaving."

"Oh God..." Ryo's voice was lost to the emotions and despite what he knew concerning Bikky, he kissed the top of his head over and over, holding him tightly against him. "Are you sure that you're okay? I can call the doctor or take you to the hospital if you want..." Ryo didn't care that he was getting wet, all he cared about was having Bikky there and knowing that where he was concerned, he hadn't screwed that up.

"Whoa! Get a grip Ryo. I'm fine! I promise. It's barely worth the band aid." Despite his casual words, Bikky was hugging the man he considered his father just as tightly, glad that he was indeed okay and that Dee hadn't totally broken him. "J-Just don't sent me away okay? I... I really like you Ryo and I want to stay with you."

"I'd never do that Bikky. Never! I'm sorry if you thought that." Ryo pulled Bikky onto his lap, cradling him despite his age. "You will be my son someday I promise you that much. It's just that... Well it may be a life without Dee. I know that that may please you but I'm not sure about his intentions any longer and for that reason I can't see myself staying with him."

Bikky allowed the affection, greatly relieved at Ryo's words. "I want you to be my Dad too. About Dee?" Bikky cleared his throat, eternally grateful that Cal wasn't here to witness this. "Listen don't think I like the jack ass or anything... but he was pretty upset when I left... Crying and stuff... He even hugged me, the pervert. But uh... listen Ryo... I don't think he meant what he said. Andrew says he's pretty confused right now... and frankly I don't think Bozo could find his ass with two hands, a flashlight and a Seeing Eye dog..."

"BIKKY!" Ryo's eyes went wide. "We're going to have to work on that language of yours. Now go and get toweled off. Thank god you wore your rain gear. You're getting Lyn's floor all wet." Ryo avoided everything about Dee. How could he tell Bikky that his trust in what Dee said was shattered now? How could he tell him that Dee and he had such a large wedge between them that it would take a miracle to close? He couldn't and so he shut it and Dee out of his mind and heart.

Bikky wasn't a dumb kid and he knew when a topic was being brushed under the rug. "Two hands and a Seeing Eye dog Ryo... I'm telling you..." Bikky muttered as he slid off Ryo's lap and padded to the bathroom. He paused in the doorway. "Ryo? Just don't give up yet, okay?"

Ryo lowered his gaze, unable to meet Bikky's. "I can't promise you that. Gomen." He heard Lyn in the hallway and turned his head to the window as Bikky walked out, his shoulders slumping forward and sadness spreading over him once more.

When Bikky saw Lyn he looked up at him, the hurt clearly reflected in his big blue eyes. "H-He doesn't believe me... He doesn't think that Dee loves him." Bikky swiped at his eyes with his sleeve.

Lyn had managed to get as far as getting his shirt on but it hung open off his shoulders. His hand came to rest on Bikky's head as he balanced a tray on his other. "Give it time Tiger. Ryo's had his heart broken in a big way. He and Dee need some time to sort this all out...." Lyn crouched down to look Bikky in the eyes. "You really care about him don't you?"

"Y-Yes. Ryo's been the closest thing I have ever had to a real dad. He took me in the first day he met me. No one has ever taken the time with me like Ryo has." Bikky looked at him sadly. "I know that Dee is a big jerk at times. His head is made of granite and all but he has a soft heart when it comes to Ryo... That much I can tell."

Lyn nodded. "Hang in there Tiger. Soon as we get the chance, what do you say that you and I go out for burger, malts, and some arcade fun? I got a roll of quarters with your name on in it." Lyn smiled slightly. It was a lame bribe but maybe it would cheer the kid up some.

"Throw in onion rings and you got yourself a deal." Bikky grinned. "Thanks." Being careful of the tray that Lyn had in his hands. Bikky wrapped his arms around Lyn's waist and hugged him. "I am so glad Cal can't see this... My rep would be ruined for sure."

Lyn wrapped his spare arm around the boy laughing softly. "She your lady friend? Well, I promise I won't tell her that our little street punk is really a respectful caring kid underneath okay?" He winked and handed Bikky a mug. "Here have some hot chocolate. Once I get Ryo taken care of I will make breakfast I don't think anyone has eaten... Oh and Bik, if your comfortable with it, will you lift Kei out of her crib and bring her in to me or Ryo?"

"Sure! Can you keep this with you until I come back then?" He handed the mug off to him and smiled as he headed off. Walking into the room he smiled again when hands reached for him and he picked the little girl up. "Time to go see your daddy." She grabbed his hair making him yelp. "Okay watch the hair please?" She yanked harder and Bikky sighed in defeat as he made his way back and into the study. "Uh help? I think I have a bald spot happening here."

Lyn had set the tray down along with Bikky's mug laughing softly as he reappeared with Kei. "Yeah she has a thing for hair..." Lyn bent down and pried her hand from Bikky's hair, then lifted the girl in footed pajamas onto his hip. "Thanks Bikky." He handed the blond boy his mug back then looked over to Ryo, trying to decide what to do with him.

"Here." He planted Keiry in Ryo's lap then handed him the phone. "Call in sick or whatever. There is more tea on the tray... I'm gonna go make breakfast." Lyn paused again analyzing the three figures before him and deciding that for the moment the world would not stop spinning if he went and made breakfast. "Bikky? If Kei starts fussing, tell her 'wait'" He showed Bikky the sign. "And she should hush for a while anyway." That done, Lyn slipped out of the study again.

"I need to call into the station and report off." Ryo dialed the number and waited, groaning when it was Berkley himself answering the phone. "Lt sir? This is Ryo. I-I won't be in today. Something has come up that I need to take care of immediately."

"Is there a problem?"

"Nothing I can't handle." Ryo winced.

"We have cases pending MacLean! We need our men in here working. Not at home playing nurse."

"Understood sir. I'll be in first thing tomorrow." Ryo pinched the bridge of his nose trying to ward off the headache now forming.

"Very well then. Expect to put in some hours over the weekend to make up for it."

"Y-Yes sir." Ryo hung up the phone and sighed. Just what he needed. More hours doing and fewer hours sleeping.

"What happened?" Bikky asked and frowned.

"I'll have to work the weekend that's all." Ryo sipped at his tea as he held Keiry. He was exhausted all ready what with all that had happened and now it was only going to get worse.

Bikky sighed and flopped down in a chair next to Ryo. "Man... This sucks."

Ryo echoed his sigh. "Yeah I know... Big time too."

" DEE SEMPAI!!!!" JJ was sprinting across the lobby of Ryo's building at full tilt.

"Run! Run now while you still can!" Dee said, mock fear in his voice.

"What the.... shimatte!!" Dee was impressed briefly at how much Andrew sounded like Ryo when he swore in Japanese before he was clamped in JJ's vice like grip. He stumbled back and almost fell but Andrew's shoulder against his back kept him on his feet.

"JJ!! Get the hell off of me! You freak. You're going to knock us both over!"

"But Dee sempai! Ryo called in sick and I was so worried about you! Thank God you're okay!" JJ nuzzled his face against Dee shoulder as he spoke with Dee all the while trying to pry him off.

"Andrew do you happen to have a crow bar? The Jaws of Life? Anything just get him off of me?" Frowning, Andrew grabbed JJ's thumb and started bending it. In a swift maneuver that would have impressed Jackie Chan, Andrew had JJ kneeling at his feet, arm bent up behind his back and whimpering in pain.

"Dee who is this yokel?" Andrew asked glaring down at the man who had almost knocked Dee and himself to the floor.

"Well? Lest my ears deceive me... it's JJ..."

"I'm his partner! Who are you?" JJ snipped indigently.

"You're about as much my partner as I am the Easter Bunny!" Dee hissed. "He works at the precinct with me." He explained. "What are you doing to him? Breaking his arms I hope."

"Well... with a little more pressure..." JJ yelped in pain as Andrew put a little more pressure on the strained shoulder joint then released him. Scrambling away, JJ rubbed his sore arm.

"What a brute! I thought it was bad enough that you were hanging out with the likes of Ryo... Now Franz here... Your taste is slipping."

"Hey watch it! Franz here has a Hans of his own! And I still have Ryo!" Dee grinned. "Now about that smart-ass remark concerning Ryo..." Dee started advancing, trying to find JJ with his cane. "After I'm done with you this damn thing won't be white anymore!"

"Dee! HELP! Police!" JJ began backing away.

"You moron! You are the police!" Dee hissed through clenched teeth.

"Be nice to me! I brought you flowers!" JJ walked over and grabbed the bouquet he had dropped in his excitement to see Dee and handed them to him. "Don't they look gorgeous?"

"JJ? What's this?" Dee held up the white cane with its red tip.

"One of those canes that blind people use." He answered and then looked at Dee. "Oops sorry I forgot."

Dee shook his head. "Why me lord? Why? Andrew meet JJ the Moronic Anal Cavity or MAC a/k/a Stupid Asshole."

"Nice to meet you Mr. Hole." Andrew replied. Managing to keep his face deadpanned. "Ah Dee...?" Andrew snickered. "Stupid brought you roses.... red roses... approximately a dozen of them."

"What? JJ! What do I look like?" Dee growled at him. "You idiot! I'm not your girlfriend!"

"But Dee sempai they're to show you how much I love you and you could be mine if you wanted." JJ then glared at Andrew. "Oh and Franz? It's Detective As... I mean Adams to you."

Andrew only flashed JJ a dangerous smile before turning to Dee. "My aren't we popular...? But I believe we were on the out way out. If you will excuse us Detective." Andrew placed Dee's hand in the crook of his elbow. "And use that cane Latener! Don't think I'm above leading you into walls just to see if you're paying attention."

"WAIT!" JJ was angry that they were walking off. "Dee sempai I've missed you! Don't leave yet! I have something else for you!" With that JJ threw his arms around Dee and kissed him. Dee dropped his cane as he tried to fight him off, arms flailing everywhere. When one of JJ's hands went from his neck down to his ass, Dee gave off a muffled yelp.

"Hands off buddy. That's Ryo's territory!" Andrew twined his fingers in JJ's hair and pulled until finally out of sheer pain JJ was forced to let go. "Dee if you bend down your cane is about a foot and a half to your right parallel to your side."

Hand still in JJ's hair he spun him around so that he was facing the door and gave him a light boot in the rear as he let go of his hair. "Get out of here. If you are a detective you should have better behavior then that."

"Hmpf! At least Ryo has better manners when Rose kisses him!" JJ looked, his eyes going wide as he slapped his hand over his mouth. "See ya!" JJ quickly raced out of the building.

"JJ!" Dee yelled as he picked up his cane, finding it easier then he had thought he would. "Damn him! What did he mean by that? So help me if Berkley is going after Ryo I'll rip his balls off and shove them down his throat! When is he going to learn?"

"Chill Dee. Whoever Berkley is, for today at least, he has to go through Lyn first. And Lyn...? Well he's 6'6" so people tend not to mess with him. Come on." For the third time Andrew placed Dee's Hand in the crook of his elbow as he headed out of the lobby.

"Don't move the cane quite so wide. You're only worried about what's in you immediate area. And the lighter your touch the more sense stuff will make. It's a cane not a sword don't brandish it."

"How would you know how to use one of these things?" Dee asked as they walked. "Ever use one?" He hated people saying something to him especially if they had no idea what it was like in the first place.

"Never had the pleasure myself but I worked at a camp for the blind through most of high school." Andrew wasn't a know it all and if he spoke it was because he had something worth saying not just idle critique.

"Good enough I guess." Dee was much too worried about Ryo and what Berkley could be pulling to even care about fighting at the moment.

"Penguin and Ryo had gone over to my apartment two weeks ago to clean it up. They said the living room got trashed during the beating. This will be my first time back there." Dee said as they headed there for Dee to grab a few things that he needed.

"Ryo's been going there to check my mail messages and water my plants. Thanks for letting me stop there first. I need to check my mail for my paycheck."

"No worries. It's not like I've got other plans." Andrew guided Dee to the blue Honda civic that awaited them, stopping on the passenger side of the car. "The car is about three feet from your hand. I'm sure that you can find the door handle yourself."

"You're really sending me out full speed aren't you? Jeez at least Ryo was a little kinder." Dee pouted as he fished around for the handle and then found it. Getting in he folded the cane and sat back in the seat, putting his seat belt on. "You have the address right?"

"1374 Self Pity Ville?" Andrew shook his head but he was smiling. "Yeah I have the address. That's why you weren't learning a damn thing! Ryo was too nice to you. I'm gonna have you making your own omelet by the end of the week. And doing laundry because I am not touching your underwear." Andrew clicked on his own seatbelt and turned the key in the ignition.

"Ryo likes that sort of thing though. I mean look how easily he took the brat in? A streetwise punk who steals. Then there's Cal a 15-year-old pickpocket who Ryo felt bad for because her dad was in jail and dying of cancer. What does Ryo do? He blows the money in his saving's account to bail her dad out!" Dee couldn't stop smiling. It was one of the things he loved about Ryo... His large and caring heart.

"Oh and I don't want you anywhere near my shorts thank you!" Dee added laughing softly.

"Feelings mutual believe me buddy...." Andrew paused a moment, collecting his thoughts as he pulled out into traffic. "You know you're not a kid though Dee. It's one thing to take care of you... it's another for you to be completely and totally depended on him. I mean how fast would you get frustrated if every time Ryo wanted to move or do anything he needed to call you over? And if you had to do all the housework and go to work... all by yourself?"

"I guess that it would piss me off after awhile and I'd tell them to do it themselves!" Dee sighed, he knew where this was leading. "If Ryo felt that way he should have said something. I'm not a frigging mind reader! Just because of that I'm the bad one here... I'm the one who lay on the fucking floor, praying to every and any god who would listen to let me live! I was drugged so I couldn't even defend myself properly. I lay there watching that god awful bat slam into my body... Ryo thinks I was knocked out but I wasn't! I was awake the whole fucking time!"

Another lengthy pause from Andrew. "So was I..."

"Then you know what it felt like! The pain, the dread that you were about to die and never see those you loved. You know what hell I went through! It was Ryo and Bikky's faces that I kept in my mind as she brought that bat down on me time and time again." Dee's fist pounded into his leg, hitting right above his knees yet he felt nothing. "What disgusts me the most is I lay there and cried! Like a fucking pussy baby I cried! I hate myself for that! Ryo's right! I am a coward." Dee turned his head blinking back unshed tears.

"Dee..." Andrew glanced over then reached over, putting a hand on Dee's shoulder. "Yes I do know. Except it was a crowbar and all I could think about were Lyn and Kei. Kei was only three months old at the time. I... I wasn't drugged. There were five guys. You know, frat boys...good ol' boys? They started following me... 'Fag... hey queer boy!'" Andrew paused, shaking away the memories. "I pretty much knew I was screwed. No one can take on five guys with bats and crowbars...." Andrew trailed off, fighting his own emotions.

"Shit! I'm sorry. I knew that you were beaten but I didn't know the details." Dee reached over and went to pat Andrew's arm only he got him in the thigh and a little higher then he had intended. Quickly pulling his hand back he sighed. "Oh that had to look REAL good!"

Andrew laughed softly. "Well a few inches further and it would have been worse, so count your blessings. You're doing good though Dee. You're still comfortable with who you are and whom you love. I dealt with my physical injuries a lot easier and faster then with the emotional ones. Well you seem to anyway, I suppose."

"A few inches higher and I probably would be picking out gravel bits from my ass!" Dee laughed. "Anyway I feel like I'm on a damn roller coaster at times. Especially with Ryo lately. One minute we're sitting in the lobby singing while I impersonate Stevie Wonder and the next minute we're at each other's throats or he's off bawling somewhere..." Dee slumped down in his seat.

"And what about you? What are your emotions, your actions? Don't tell me that you're even keel. Listen I'm not saying this is all about you. Far from it... My point is that you and Ryo are just missing each other at every pass. You get frustrated and instead of saying 'hey Ryo I'm really frustrated right now' you snap at him."

"Well he grins and bares it at the moment but then five minutes later something else hits him and he breaks a little more. And instead of Ryo saying 'Hey Dee I feel like I'm losing my mind. Can you just chill and hold me a minute.' He cries or yells. He doesn't want to burden you and you don't want to burden him. So you just keep going around in circles..." He paused as he found a parking spot near Dee's building and pulled in. "If you would just share your problems... you would be a lot happier."

"Point heard and filed for future reference." Dee spoke softly now. "The other issue is with me wondering about whether he told me that he loved me simply because of what happened or because he really meant it. Yeah you can give me 101 reasons why he meant it but... I have these doubts. I told Ryo that whatever he decided concerning us should be done so with no doubts. If he had any then it would ruin everything. I have the doubts now and until I can rid myself of them I can't have a relationship with him." Dee was back to square one once more.

"That my friend is all you. But you didn't see him or hear him for that matter when he got to our house." Drew commented. "We're here. Your door is street side, so when you step out stay real close to the car and don't move! Ryo would be REALLY pissed if I let you get hit by a car." Andrew unbuckled his seat belt and stepped out and onto the sidewalk, taking a moment to look up at the gray city.

"How bad of a shape was he in? I was so shocked when he ran out of the apartment that I literally couldn't move." Dee felt the arm and grabbed it in the manner he was becoming accustomed to.

"I'm ashamed to admit it but after he left I felt around for the knife drawer... If Bikky had not been in the apartment..." Dee let his voice trail off for a moment. "I hate myself for what I have done to him..."

"Small step up." Andrew instructed. "He was bad. Throwing up, sobbing. I hate to use the word but he really was hysterical. And suicide truly is the coward's way out Dee. In your shoes I would hate myself too. But this all said how could you still have doubts of his love for you?" Andrew pushed the door open and lead Dee in. "Which mailbox is yours?"

Third from the left. Labeled D. Latener, apartment 3C." Dee replied. "I don't know why I doubt it... It's like I can't stop myself. Maybe I don't want him to love me. Maybe I'm making it easier for him to let go... I don't frigging know!" Dee felt himself tremble but quickly took a few deep breaths. "Maybe he's better off without me. Not because I'm blind but because he never wanted this type of relationship in the first place."

"Great then find the box yourself." Andrew said with a grin leaning back against the wall. "Dee... that poor boy has spent two years coming to the realization that he likes men. If he didn't want 'this type' of relationship I doubt that we would even be having this discussion. I can guarantee you this though, if you let him go now, he will spend the rest of his life pining for you and probably die young."

Dee spun around to where Andrew's voice came from. "Don't you ever EVER say that he'll die! You don't know him like I do! He's stronger mentally physically and emotionally then I ever will be! If we ended this right now, Ryo would find a way to go on mainly because he has Bikky! Whereas if God forbid something happened to Bikky it wouldn't matter that I was here... he'd stop living."

Dee turned to find his mailbox. He struggled with finding it, his hands were shaking and he couldn't keep track of which ones he had passed. "Ryo came along at a time in my life when I needed stability... He was my rock! Now he's merely my nurse."

"Depressed people do stupid things. He has a dangerous job so you do the math... And the only reason he's your nurse is because you let him be. What have I done for you today? Not a whole helluva lot. And he loves you just as much as he loves Bikky. You and that kid need to realize that love isn't finite. I know that Lyn loves me and visa versa just as much as we love our kids. Ryo can love you both." Drew explained.

"And he has stopped living. If he's upset enough to have Lyn stressed out... well let's just say that it's not good. Stop feeling so sorry for yourself Latener. That's what this is all about. No one could love Dee Latener, poor orphaned Dee, life just screws him at every turn... Never mind that Dee bends over and takes it." Andrew took a deep breath trying not to get frustrated with Dee's thick headedness. "He took a leap of faith for you Dee... Why cant you do the same for him?"

"Stop it okay! Just stop it!" Dee had had enough. Turning again he started after Andrew. "I have had it with you insulting me! Don't you think that I'm depressed? Do you even know how many times I have thought about killing myself? DO YOU? You act like you're some divine saint when all you are is just another piece of shit!" Dee threw the cane off to the side.

"If I'm such a bastard then go ahead and put me in my fucking place! After that... Get the hell out of my life!" Dee challenged Drew, almost wishing the man would hit him.

"You're gonna have a bitch of a time finding that cane." Andrew said mildly. He waited a beat.... then decided he had pushed Dee hard enough for now. Taking a step forward he wrapped his arms around Dee, hugging him tight.

Dee stiffened at first, not expecting it. "If you kiss me I'm putting your lights out!" He smiled a little and then hugged Andrew back.

"Believe me, Latener I've got a much sweeter mouth to kiss then yours." Andrew laughed softly. "I'm pushing you hard Dee but don't think it's because I don't understand. I do. I've been here and done this. You love Ryo, you love Bikky and it's killing you that you're not there for them in the same way anymore. I understand Dee. I still can't get down on the floor and play with my kids. Lyn and I have only been able to make love again in the last few months. I do understand Dee."

"At least you are making love. I haven't told Ryo but the frigging meds have been messing with my sex drive lately. Not that it matters considering every time I think that we're going to FINALLY do it, something happens. Usually in the form of a 12-year-old named Bikky. If he says jump Ryo asks how high. I'm beginning to wonder if it'll ever happen." Dee felt his cheeks burning when he realized that he was still hugging Andrew.

"Damn we have got to stop meeting like this. What will the neighbors say?" He smirked.

"That you get all the attractive men?" Andrew smirked and let Dee go. "Yeah the pain meds will do that... All the more motive to stop taking them... If you get your mail I will find your cane for you."

"I do have good taste I must admit." Dee hoisted up his pants and gave a grunt. "Even when I'm old and gray, the hunky men will come my way!" He laughed out loud as he once more worked at finding his mailbox and this time succeeded. "Eureka we have a winner folks!"

Andrew laughed as he crossed the lobby picking up the cane and returning to Dee's side. "Your cane sir." He placed it in Dee's hand. "Now for the fun part. The stairs. See if us gimps can make it, eh?"

"Maybe we can find some sexy thing in a jock strap to carry us?" Dee wiggled his eyebrows and laughed.

"Hmmm...? Or maybe we could just walk." Andrew smirked. "All right it's like ten feet and you're flying solo boy. If you hit me in the ankles with that cane you'll learn a whole new meaning to throat culture. Got me?"

"Yeah well if you do something that makes me fall you'll be walking even stiffer because this cane will be up your ass!" Dee shot right back as he started up the stairs. One hand clutched the banister and the other his cane.

"You got about fifteen steps before the landing, Boy Wonder." Andrew said as he started his own struggle up the stairs. By the time they made it to Dee's floor they were both panting with the effort.

"Have I mentioned that I hate stairs?" Andrew asked between breaths.

"Have I told you that I do too...? If they don't get that elevator running I am calling city License and inspections and having something done!" Dee took a deep breath and then continued. Finally they made it to the third floor where Dee managed to find his apartment. That was a little easier since he and Ryo had done just that many times, making their way to the door while lip locked.

Reaching out for the doorknob to put his key in, Dee froze. He felt his heart racing and the sweat forming on his brow. His hands were shaking so badly he dropped the keys and stepped aside to lean against the wall, breathing heavily.

"Dee? Are you okay man?" Andrew asked, the concern evident in his voice.

W ildefyre: So what do you guys think thus far? Please give us your: Comments Suggestions, Opinions, First born... On second thought... You can keep the kid. I all ready have 2 and that's more then enough thank you! Then again, if you count my husband, that makes 3! ^_^ Until Next time... Ja ne!

Irish: Well lets see... um... well the prologue to Lyn and Andrew's back story original Fic is up on my site, it's called Standing Outside The fire... This is one of my favorite Chapters I like how Dee and Drew play off each other. Read And Review, we're addicted! We must know what you think!