Fake Fan Fiction ❯ Time for Healing ❯ Dee's Lessons/ Part I ( Chapter 12 )

Disclaimer: We do not own FAKE or its characters. They belong to Sanami Matoh, lucky girl! Any original characters belong to either Irish or Wildefyre.
Warnings: Thus far just Shounen AI but then again that's what FAKE is anyway. It may become Yaoi further along. This WILL have the guys out of Character, so Gomen for that and we are taking some creative freedom on histories & backgrounds and lives as they are now... Deal with it! ^_~
There's no music for this Chapter as well as for the next...

Dee sat there on the couch, listening as the noise level rose in the kitchen. Drew was up to something but he wasn't sure just what. All he did know was that Drew had told him to sit there until he was called for. After that morning's fiasco at his apartment, Dee wasn't keen on doing much of anything at the moment and really just wanted to go lie down. His knees hurt, and so did his head... The noise wasn't helping the latter any.

God he missed Ryo but he just couldn't go back to him... Not yet anyway. What the hell he wasn't so sure that he could ever go back to Ryo... Not with how he felt at that moment. Dee jumped when a hand touched his shoulder but relaxed when he realized that it was Drew. He could tell by his aftershave, and boy was it strong today. "So what torturous plans have you for me today?" Dee laughed nervously.

"We are starting you on the yellow brick road to the Emerald City of independence oh friend of Dorothy." Andrew was smiling Dee could tell that much and it pissed him off that Andrew could expect anything of him and further more be cheery about it. "Come on." He felt Andrew's hand on his elbow guiding him to his feet.

"Okay just hold your damn britches on! My knees are killing me! Can I at least have some Advil or something?" Dee hissed as he stood, his knees creaking with each movement he made.

Andrew winced. "Aleve usually works better for me and we'll dose you up but make it to the kitchen first, in fact, I'll even let you sit down with some heat on your legs if you behave."

"Oh goodie! That would be just so sweet of you." The sarcasm oozed from Dee's voice. He wasn't in the mood for nice and boy did it show.

Andrew sighed and led Dee into the kitchen despite the fact he should have made him feel his way there. Taking some mercy on the man he guided his hand to one of the kitchen chairs. "Have a seat if you can find one of the other chairs go ahead and put your feet up."

"So are you going to decipher that little spiel you gave me or do I have to guess at what you were referring to? I'd rather you just spell it out in layman's terms because frankly... I'm tired sore and in no frigging mood to decode your words. Damn why can't you talk like a normal person?" Dee growled and then yelped when he went to put his legs up. "Dammit! It hurts!"

"You need to move very carefully. And it's going to hurt. And it's going to keep hurting for a while." Andrew dug through he cupboards pulling out two bottles of pills. "What my little code was, was really just a play on words. I just meant we're going to start teaching you how to see with your hands... and the whole wizard of OZ bit is sort of inside joke within the gay community. It was code for a long time in Greenwich to ask if some one was a friend of Dorothy... Basically asking if they were gay."

"Oh? Well I guess I'm not up on the lingo anymore. Been out of service for 2 years plus I may have flaunted my sexuality but I never hung with a certain group or anything. After all like Tarzan, I swung both ways." Dee grinned a little. "Made getting dates easier that's for sure. I had a larger field to play in."

"Yeah yeah whatever Casanova. I think that's a polite way to say you fucked whom you wanted but didn't bother to get into the politics." Andrew shrugged. "But hey whatever floats your boat." He sat down next to Dee setting the one of the bottles of pills in front of him as well as a glass of water. "The drugs and the water are on the table."

"Hey I didn't fuck... I made love! I'm not a sleaze bag! And I didn't sleep around!" Dee took offense to Drew's statement. "Yeah I have experience under my belt, so what... I bet you and Lyn aren't saints either." Dee felt for the pills and opened the bottle, taking two and then downing them with water. "I hope that this works... My knees feel like someone is taking a blowtorch to them."

"You might want to take more like four or six... You have to take a whole bottle before it even comes close to an OD. And I tend towards Ryo's end of the spectrum thank you very much. I just meant that you weren't real concerned with the politics behind who you slept with... but that's a lecture for another time." Andrew's voice was relaxed and friendly despite Dee's grouchiness.

"By the way good job in not knocking over the water. Now the fun begins." Andrew picked up an object off the table one of the many he had set there and handed it to Dee. "What's this?"

"How the hell should I know? It's not like I can see it... Duh?" Dee smirked as he continued to feel it. "It's long and has a rounded point. Wooden, for sure. I know! It's George Washington's Dildo?" Dee laughed. "Just kidding! It's a wooded cooking spoon..." Dee set it back down.

"Okay, good job detective Latener." Drew handed him a succession of fairly easy objects then started pulling out the more difficult ones, handing him a bowl shaped sieve, the draining slots would take a discerning hand to feel. "Try this one on for size hot shot." Drew grinned.

Dee grinned. "Ha! Thought you'd get me on this huh? I make a lot of pasta big guy. One of the few meals I can make and not destroy. This is one of those strainer thingamabobs..." Dee laughed a little.

"NEEEEXT!" He puffed out his chest and smirked. "Damn I'm good."

Andrew chuckled. Glad that Dee was doing so well. "All right well we'll step it up a little then." He handed Dee the two bottles he had taken down. One was the bottle of Aleve the other was a bottle of Advil. The difference was the shape of the bottle. "Hand me the Advil buddy."

"What? No fucking way! How the hell am I supposed to know which is which?" Dee felt his self-confidence fizzle rapidly. "This is nuts! I'm not cut out for this... Even if I don't have a choice in the matter." Dee sighed and set the bottles back on the table. "How do you expect me to tell one from the other huh?"

"Think about it Dee. Visualize what the bottles look like. Feel for those distinctions. It's tough but it's not impossible."

"I can't Drew! I don't pay attention to shit like this when I go to the store." Dee sighed and tried to see the drug aisle at the local supermarket but couldn't. "I-I can't. I can't do it!"

"Yes you can Dee. Think about it. The Aleve bottle feels different. Tylenol Advil all those are the same shape. Now you just have to remember which feels which way. You can do it Dee."

Dee ran his fingers over the bottles and was about to give up when it dawned on him. "God I must look stupid as shit. This is the Aleve." Dee handed one bottle to Drew. "The other is more rounded."

Andrew laughed taking both bottles. "Awesome Dee! I'm impressed. Good job." He patted Dee on the back, giving his shoulders a squeeze. "Ready for another tough one?"

"Do I have a choice oh tortuous tormentor." Dee grinned. "If I get the next one right do I get a doggy yum-yum?" Dee's blank eyes stared at Drew.

"If you really want a Scooby snack it can be arranged. Duke shares well but I have cheesecake and that might taste better. Sound like a good bribe?"

"Ah but is it as good as Ryo's?" Dee grinned. "For a guy he really can cook. That's why I would hang out his place all the time. I can make pancakes, pasta and steak... That's about all." Dee sighed. "Okay let's go for it."

Andrew handed him an orange and a ball of the same size. Closing his own eyes he had barely been able to tell the difference so he wasn't sure Dee would be able to. "If it's too tough don't stress okay? This is a really hard one."

Dee took the two objects and felt them. "Yuck! Duke's ball! Gross Drew! I can feel the fine sheen of slobber on the sucker. Guess that goes in the sink for washing." Dee put it aside to place in the sink later for washing. He hadn't met the dog yet but Drew had warned him about the animal's presence and the fact that it was a very large dog.

"Now this I can use." He held up the other object and started peeling it. "Ryo always keeps oranges and apples around the apartment and at work for 'healthy' snacks. What a wimp! Me? I grab my donuts and beef jerky and I'm as happy as a lamb."

"Hey you're lucky Lyn has a sweet tooth or it would be nothing but Brussels sprouts and tofu in this house." Drew was secretly very pleased. "I'm impressed. You still want that cheesecake bucko?"

"You bet big guy." Dee grinned. "Oh and I think I'll pop a few more of these too. Damn these knees." He said as he grabbed the correct bottle. "Do you think I'll have to worry about arthritis now? I mean what with the damage that was done to them?"

"It really depends. I would say that you're definitely a good candidate for it now but you're not even thirty yet, you got a few years before it's a big concern. It doesn't set in until well after the bones are fully healed and even then there are ways to help with it. Lyn has pretty bad arthritis in his right hand but you wouldn't know that if he didn't tell you." Andrew got up and moved to the fridge rattling around as he pulled out the cheesecake and some plates.

"How old are you and Lyn anyway? If you don't mind me asking that is." Dee sat there rubbing his knees, wishing for the ache to just go away. "Ryo just turned thirty back in February and I'll hit 29 next April." He said as an almost after thought. "I got me an older man that I do." Dee grinned like a fool over that statement.

"Lyn is twenty-nine and I'm thirty-one." Andrew replied coming over to the table and sitting down while setting the plate of cheesecake in front of him with a fork and one for himself as well.

Dee took a bite of the cheesecake and smiled. "Hey not bad... Not bad at all. Who made it? If you tell me that it's store bought I'll bop you." Dee grinned. "Ryo is one of those who hate making things from a package. Now me on the other hand... My motto is, if it's not frozen or canned, then it's not worth making."

"Actually Lyn made it in a fit indulgence and ate most of it himself too but hell with metabolism like his he could eat a stick of butter and it could only be good for him." Drew chuckled taking a bite of his slice as well.

"That's how Ryo is too. It amazes me but he doesn't have an ounce of fat on him. Of course he takes care of himself. He runs, does martial arts... Eats the right foods. He sounds boring as shit but..." Dee hung his head. "...That's one of the many reasons why I love him."

Drew just shook his head with a sigh. "Don't even get me started." He patted Dee's shoulder. "We'll get you two back on track yet..."

"What do I do Drew? I love him and that's not going to change no matter how badly I think it should but I can't face him... I-I... Not after what happened to me." Dee sighed heavily. "Maybe he's better off without me."

"Dee listen. If you love him you can't leave him. He loves you as well. You both will just pine away for each other. You need to get your head on straight first and that will take time but you can do it." Drew did feel sympathetic towards Dee. "Why don't you go rest a while? There is an air mattress set up for you in the first door on the right upstairs. There is nothing in there other then a chair and a bedside table. There is a heating pad on the mattress for your legs. Go rest and I will call you down when it's time to start dinner."

"Can we do more of this instead? I-I don't want to close my eyes just yet." Dee rested his arms on the table, sighing sadly. "I-I've been having these nightmares lately. I'll dream that Ryo and I are necking on the floor by his coffee table and I'm starting to get turned on... So is he for that matter and then we'll flip and he'll be on top of me. Then the nightmare begins. Ryo's face changes and before I know it, it's her there. She's touching me... Not my Ryo." Dee trembled as the memories flashed through his mind.

Andrew frowned looking down at his hands then reaching over to touch Dee's shoulder. "Yeah we can keep working." He said simply, not sure what else there was to say. "Up for another challenge?"

"Sure why not? Maybe I'll get myself so tired I won't be able to dream." Dee responded, wishing like hell that that could be true.

"All right then." Drew stood and went to the fridge coming back with a pitcher of water and a glass. Setting them in front of Dee. "There is a pitcher of water in front of you and a glass. Pour half a glass."

"Okay... Care to first tell me how to do it? Unless of course you want to kill your knees or mine for that matter, with wiping a mess up off the floor." Dee smiled a little. "I'll gladly do it Drew, just tell me how."

"All right I will tell you the trick ahead of time. Just so that you know it's only because I'm feeling nice. Normally I would make you sort it out on your own. Put your finger in the glass. Just along the side, only as far down as you want to fill it."

"Golly gee wilikers Batman thanks. Now to put this into the automated bat-pouring machine and after a few moments we'll have a half a glass of water." Dee stood and did a little ritual just for comic relief. First he cracked his knuckles then he blew on his fingers and just when he picked up the pitcher, he wiggled his ass. "Here goes nothing." Dee did as was instructed and then held up the glass. "Well Batman? Do we have success?"

Drew chuckled. "Yes excellent pouring job but I'm about five feet to the right of where you're looking Boy Wonder."

"Hey what do you want? Miracles? Go ask Penguin for those. I'm just shooting for 'so-so' right now." Dee started laughing all of a sudden. "God I just saw myself standing here doing that little spiel and can only imagine what it must have looked like... I'm a nut!" He laughed harder. "We... We'd better... Move on before... I lose it." He laughed out loud.

"Latener 'it' is a hundred miles back down the road you aren't going to lose it, it's all ready gone buddy." Andrew thought over the list of things he had planed. "All right lets see how well you do with that cane in unfamiliar territory. Lets go exploring shall we?"

"W-Where?" Dee asked, not sure if he really wanted to know. "If you lead me into a ditch I'm going to sue you and get your lover to represent me!" Dee grinned.

"Well that won't work very well. Lyn's the one with all the money. Just around the house, you've never been here before and there are a lot of obstacles to watch out for... and stairs and such."

"Okay. But if I get hurt my threat still stands." Dee laughed. "That's okay Ryo's the one with all the money between us two. Of course that's because he saves. Whereas I figure you can't take it with you plus money should be spent on things. Like romantic get a ways... Sex toys, satin sheets." Dee slapped his cheek. "Knock it off Latener or the only place you'll be heading to is the bathroom for a cold shower."

"Indeed, a cold lonely shower because I sure as hell am not joining you. All right Boy Wonder, we are currently in the kitchen so pick up your cane and get a move on." He chuckled.

"Yes papa." Dee grinned. "You sure you wouldn't want to join me? Ryo says I have a talented tongue!" Dee laughed as he started to make his way out of the kitchen, whacking Drew's legs lightly just for the hell of it.

"Watch it Hot Shot or I'll feed you that cane for dinner." Drew trailed after him ready to grab Dee's elbow if he headed for disaster or serious injury. "There is the dinning room table with chairs right in front of you. To your left are sliding glass doors to the right is the living room."

Dee turned to head into the living room, his cane tapping in front of him. At one point he lost concentration and found himself feeling very disorientated. "Damn I... Drew this is frigging scary. I don't know the layout... I don't know what this place looks like." Dee tried to keep a cool head about it but it wasn't easy. When his elbow hit a doorframe he cursed loudly, stopping to rub it.

"It's okay Dee. It's normal to develop some agoraphobia... the fear of open spaces. But you're not going to trip and end up outside. You're in my house, in a limited amount of space and I'm right here behind you. Just move slowly and it will all make sense. You can learn this on your own, I promise. Now, you are standing just outside the kitchen the dinning room table is about five steps in front of you, the sliding glass doors are still to your left and the living room is still to your right."

Dee turned to his right and headed into the living room, taking small baby steps as he did so, fearing hitting his knees more then anything. Once in there he stopped. "Okay where to oh great gay one?"

"Gay one?" Andrew snorted. "That's Mr. Gay One to you. All right. Now the living room is bigger. As big as the kitchen and the dinning room together. To your left is mostly open space. There is a baby grand piano directly to your left a few paces and some big windows on the far wall. The front door is directly ahead of you. To your right about six paces is a couch at a right angle to the far wall.

Against the far wall are a loveseat, a coffee table between the two, a chair and a TV. Just feel your way around carefully and use your cane. There is more stuff but I'm right here with you and I'll stop you if you're going to run into it. Explore on your own Mr. Gay."

"No, no Drew dearest... It's Mr. Bi! I like 'em with or without breasts remember?" Dee chuckled. "A baby grand huh? You play?"

"Nah, if I'm lucky Lyn will sometimes let be shake a tambourine or something when he jams but I've got no talent for music. He on the other hand, he does gigs every now and then, sold some CD's and stuff, just locally of course but hey it makes him happy."

"Get the hell out? That's great! You must surely be proud of him." Dee by some stroke of luck found himself by the piano. "Do you mind? This is something that I CAN do without seeing."

"Be my guest...I am very happy for him. I enjoy listening to him sing and play. It's part of everyday life for us. I love going to watch him perform. He's really amazing." Drew smiled softly.

Dee started playing a Billy Joel tune he knew by heart 'She's Got a Way' though as he sang along he changed 'she' to 'he' to make it more appropriate. When Dee stopped playing he closed the cover on the keys and sighed. "You have a few keys out of tune, may want to have that looked at."

Andrew wandered back over the piano, leaning against it. "I'll let Lyn know about that. I guess it is due for a tuning."

"Lyn sounds like one hell of a guy." Dee patted Drew on the back. "You can hear the pride you have for him in your voice even if you do try and keep it subtle."

"Lyn doesn't like to be bragged about, it makes him very nervous. He has some very amazing talents in music and photography. He's a brilliant lawyer and I think he could litigate himself out of a steel safe. He speaks five languages, Fluently. It just makes him very uncomfortable to hear any of that... He can't take a compliment to save his life. At least not when it's anyone beside he and I... and even then..." His voice fell silent.

"Sounds like Ryo. They're intelligent beyond belief and yet they can't see past the noses on their faces. They can't see that we say what we do because we love them not because we want to embarrass them." Dee sighed.

"Ryo can do things I could never do and I know that there's more to him then meets the eye. He's strong smart, intelligent. He's sensitive and great with kids animals and little old ladies. When it comes to his job, he's one of the best that I have ever seen. He takes his work seriously, which I did as well. That's why we worked so well together. There are layers to him that I haven't gotten close to peeling away but I'll be damned if I can ever see myself doing that now. The damage done by that bitch may be irreversible." Dee looked away, his eyes misting up. "Ryo is everything that I'll never be..."

"Oh come on! That's hardly fair. You can't compare yourself to other people it just doesn't work. It's ridicules. Listen Ryo's a great guy, there is a ton of stuff that he can do that you can't and vice versa. There are some parts of you that he just doesn't have. Now are we exploring or what." He prodded Dee to his feet gently. "I mean everyone has his or her own talents."

"Yeah and mine is fucking everything up." Dee replied sadly as he started moving along again, taking his time to feel his way around. Using his cane and at times his hand, he tried to vision the room as Drew had described.

"Get real Latener. Damn get out the streamers and confetti! We're throwing a pity party." Drew rolled his eyes trailing after and occasionally redirecting Dee ever so slightly from sharp corners and the like.

"Why can't you show any sympathy towards people? Why are you such a fucking hard ass?" Dee stopped. He had tried to remain quiet but Drew was twisting the knife in his heart even more. "I'm not asking for pity! You can shove that up your ass and twist it sideways for all I fucking care! Why is it that unless a person is more then willing to battle back from hell like a man on a mission, they don't deserve to be comforted?" Dee shivered.

"I'm hurting dammit! Not just physically either. My heart has a fucking hole in it that I may never fill and all I get is your god damned smart assed comments! Well I don't need it!" Dee jerked away from Drew, trying to get away before the tears started only being in unfamiliar surroundings left him helpless and in direct line with a table that sent him crashing to the floor.

Andrew winced, moving over to Dee he lowered himself carefully to the floor to sit beside him and rested a hand on his back. "I do sympathize Dee and I'm sorry that I haven't been more understanding but don't think that it's because I don't care. Really, I'm not sure what to do with you. Your reactions are all over the place. You don't know whether to laugh or cry and I don't know when you're just being thickskulled and self pitying and need a kick in the ass... or when you're honestly hurting and need a hug. I'll try and pay more attention. I apologize."

"I don't know either Drew. I feel so confused and mixed up. I don't know what to do... I just don't know what to do." Dee pounded his fist into the floor, tears splashing down. "G-Give me a minute and we can continue. I just need to... need to pull myself together." Dee didn't cry, not really anyway. Yeah tears were falling but he refused to sob, that would be too humiliating now especially in front of Drew.

Andrew watched Dee a moment, then slowly, so he would have warning, hugged him tightly. "People cry Dee... it's okay."

"No! I'm not a crybaby!" Dee sniffled. "What's gotten into me? I used to be so damn strong and now look at me? I'm pitiful... This baby who can't do a shittin' thing for himself." Dee kept his head down as he wiped away his tears. "If Ryo saw me like this I can only imagine what he'd think. 'Dee Latener, the big baby'."

"I once heard that strength isn't holding on, it's knowing when to let go. You can't keep this all inside of you Dee, it's not healthy and like any wound if you don't clean it, it gets infected." He held Dee a little more tightly.

"You are strong Dee. Look how far you've come already. You almost died Dee but you fought! You fought your way back. You have to keep fighting, keep trying, and keep striving until you can do things for yourself. And if you fall down along the way or get lost, or need to cry, that's okay too. It doesn't make you any less of a man."

"Oh God Drew... I'm scared." Dee managed to blurt out before the walls broke and he buried his face into Drew's shoulder, his body shaking as he cried, holding onto Drew, needing some sort of comfort now more then ever before.

The blond man held him close, rubbing his back comfortingly. "It will be okay Dee, it will. It's all darkness for you right now but that doesn't mean that you aren't surrounded and supported by people who want to help, who want to support you when you need it. You will make it through this and be all the stronger for it."

Dee listened to the words, allowing them to bring him strength. Once he felt he had cried all he could. He pulled back and wiped his eyes. "Okay, let me get up first and then I'll help you. You're in worse shape then I am anyway." Dee sniffled as he slowly got to his feet, wincing as pain shot through his knees. He then got behind Drew and put his hands under Drew's arms.

"On the count of three. One... Two... Three..."

Andrew struggled to his feet getting his crutch under him. "How sad is that you've been out of the hospital for a few days and you're still doing better then me who's been out for nine months..." He shook his head. "All right, you okay for now Dee? Feel any better?"

"I wasn't beaten as badly remember?" Dee cocked his head. "Yeah I'm okay. I guess I just needed to get that out. I am going to do this Drew... I have never backed down from a challenge and I'll be damned if I'll start now. Now where the hell is my cane?"

"About five feet to your left not quite against the wall. Think you can get it yourself?"

"I'd better or I'll kick myself." Dee replied and slowly made his way to where Drew had told him. He used his hands to feel for the object and his feet as well, smiling when his foot hit upon his cane. "By George I think I've got it."

Dee bent down and picked it up, feeling proud of such a small accomplishment. "Okay let's try this again, shall we?"

"Yup, have a go at it Boy Wonder and see where you end up." Drew grinned. "I'm right behind you, so don't worry. It's like bumper bowling. You can't possibly screw up." Drew placed his hand in the center of Dee's back ready to stop him or guide him if he was headed for disaster.

It took Dee some time but he managed to make his way around the living room several times, each time taking mental notes of where things were and how far to the next item, once he felt confident enough he handed Drew his cane. "I want to try something." He said as he stood at the doorway to the dinning room and then walked back into the living room, taking his time. Little by little he circled the room. He hit into two objects along the way but still managed to stop in front of Drew, grinning. "So teach did I pass?"

"With flying colors." Drew said with a smile. "See we will have you moving around like you were on wheels." He gave Dee's shoulder a squeeze. "Hey you haven't even really met Duke yet have you?" Duke had been in the back yard to let Dee get used to his surroundings though Drew had spoken about him quite a bit. Andrew moved over to the sliding glass doors to let the aforementioned monster in.

Dee stiffened when he felt the large dog stroll up to him. Sniffing him experimentally. The beast's head was about waist level on Dee, his large muzzle snorting over Dee's shirt, crotch and hands. "Duke behave." Andrew reprimanded gently. The dog having decided Dee was okay, leaned against him and waited for petting.

"If he bites me in the nuts you'll pay!" Dee commented and with a shaky hand reached out to pet the beast. "W-What kind of dog is he?"

"Great Dane. He's as gentle as a lamb, I assure you. We wouldn't keep him if he weren't. He's practically a littermate to the girls. He doesn't bite or growl or even bark that much."

"That's reassuring... I think." Dee smiled a little when he pulled his hand away only to have a nose nudge it again. "Want more huh?" Dee scratched him behind the ear, laughing when the dog cocked his head and leaned into the touch. "Hehe... He's like Ryo! I touch his cheek and he leans into it... Though Ryo's cuter then a dog... Sexier too."

"I would hope so, though Duke is a very handsome dog, very well bred." Drew chuckled, giving Duke's rump a pat. "And he's a freaking moose. I'm not a big dog fan but Lyn wanted one so he's kind of grown on me." Duke licked Dee's hand in amiable affirmation of Andrew's statement.

"Ryo's well bred too and there's no way a dog could beat him in the looks department. The guy exudes sex appeal only he's too naive to see it." Dee grinned. "Ewww doggy slobber!" He said it in a child like voice and held his hand up.

"Aww look, he loves you." Andrew snickered. "And yes I would hope that Ryo has more sex appeal then my mutt."

"Okay Duke. Tell me the truth. Who has the bigger libido? Drew or Lyn? You probably have seen more then you care to admit but I need some serious blackmail material here." Dee pretended to whisper to the dog. "Come on you can tell me. It'll be our secret." Dee bent over to talk and got a very sloppy kiss for his efforts. "Gross! It's JJ in a dog suit!"

Drew laughed harder. "God are you seriously telling me that that baka carries a badge? That doesn't seem to bode well for the NYPD."

"Tell me about it! That guy hounded me so badly while I was in the academy that I had to move because of him." Dee laughed. "Though I have to say that he did help me to see how Ryo really felt about me. You see every time JJ would kiss me, Ryo would get pissed though he'd act like he didn't care."

"Jealousy eh? Ryo was a hard catch huh? I can empathize with that. I swear Lyn was giving it out to everyone but me sometimes." Andrew sat down holding his hand out to the dog who trotted over for more lovin'

"Oh yeah?" Dee's interest was peaked. It was nice having someone to talk to about his love for Ryo and to hear other people's tales. "Ryo was a very hard catch but well worth the effort. Two years I spent pursuing him... I guess you could say that I won his heart one kiss at a time." Dee smiled as an image of Ryo flashed in his mind. "So what's this about Lyn? And yeah I'm being nosey. So go ahead and sue me."

"Nah, that's Lyn's department. I didn't dare steal kisses from him. We met at the gym. How lame is that? But yeah he didn't take care of himself. Slept around like he was trying to catch something ya know? Anyway there was this road trip and we just got close enough that he realized that I wasn't going to hurt him and that sex didn't have to be just a tool... or something. It was a mess really." Andrew chuckled. "But it worked out in the end."

"He had a lot of issues huh?" Dee laid a hand on his shoulder. "Ryo did too... mainly his fear of loving another man. He thought of himself as straight you know. The first time I kissed him he blasted me about it the next day... 'You don't do things like that! We're both men!' Yada yada yada." Dee laughed. "But he never slugged me when I would kiss him... He slugged our commissioner though."

"He slugged your commissioner? Now that takes some balls. Did he get in trouble for it?"

"Nope! That's what freaked me. Rose didn't do a damn thing about it. Of course kissing your subordinate out on a public street wouldn't look too good on a report either." Dee grinned.

"No I suppose it really wouldn't. Dang that's great..." Andrew said, chuckling. "So is your whole precinct one big pit of homosexual depravity? Rose, JJ, You, Ryo...?"

"I think that it's just our department to be honest. Oh and Ted may swing both ways though I haven't gotten an answer on that one yet. I mean he has a girlfriend right now but one never knows." Dee laughed. "Maybe the heads figure that if we can handle being scrutinized over our sexuality that we can handle working homicide cases. The worse cases are the undercover ones though. They can get downright scary and get you killed if you're not careful. If your cover gets blown, you may not make it out alive. Ryo and I have worked several of them separately and together."

Andrew shuddered. "And this is why I didn't go into law enforcement... that and then I would have had to actually have a real major in college... I was a philosophy major." He snickered but took a breath becoming more serious. "Really though, you guys must be really good at your jobs."

"We are. I may act like a jerk but when it comes to my job... or came to my job as the case may be now, I was serious. Ryo and I go out there and bust our asses everyday to keep people safe and what happens? I become a victim. The worse part is... Ryo and I were working this damn case. We were in the middle of investigating it and wham! I wind up as part of the case." Dee sighed.

Dee and Drew talked for quite sometime, deciding that it was okay to brag a little about their partners, just as long as they kept it between themselves. Duke sat there, resting his head on Dee's lap, while the ebony haired man scratched him behind the ears. Dee would laugh when every time he'd stop Duke would nudge his hand with his nose. After awhile, Dee sighed, knowing this wasn't getting them on to the next phase. "Hey we've talked long enough... I think we should get back to my training Oh great one."

"Hai Grasshopper." Andrew stood. "On your feet man, we're headed upstairs."

"Oh goodie... Do I get to peek into your drawers and see what color shorts you wear?" Dee laughed heartedly knowing that he couldn't see a damn thing. "I got black ones on myself... Though they are riding up my ass today for some reason."

"I was dying for that tidbit of information..." Rolling his eyes Andrew guided Dee out of the little maze of furniture. "The stairs are at a 45-degree angle to your left. Boy Wonder."

"Okay Batman! Golly gee stairwell Batman. How will we ever make it up these?" Dee started laughing.

"Easy Robin. By using our special stair climber gear that we have conveniently stored in our utility belts, we'll ascend them with ease." Dee stated while pretending to grab something from his belt to hold it near the stairs.

"Let's go Batman... Time to climb!" Dee was laughing so hard that he had to stop and hold onto the banister for support.

"As the Boy Scout motto says, 'always be prepared' Robin, always be prepared." Andrew replied between snickers in his best Adam West voice, also gripping the banister as he held his sides.

"Batman, you're the greatest... Can I play with your gadgets? Can I? Huh? Huh? You always have the coolest ones!" Dee snickered as he slowly made his way up, step by step. "Ooo I like this one. It looks like a man's willy..." Dee laughed hysterically.

"Huh? How did that get in there Robin? Must be Alfred's" Dee had to sit down on the top landing for he was laughing too hard to move at the moment. "Oh God... Now I have to pee!"

"I suppose it would be cruel to make you stumble around until you found it on your own huh?" Andrew laughed. "It's the second door on your left. Five steps in, turn to your left, take another step and you're officially at the can. Got all that or do I need to draw you a map?"

"I wouldn't be able to read it dumb ass! That's it I'm taking over Batman's role... You get to be Robin now." Dee snickered and managed to find the bathroom. Once done he walked out and stood there in the hallway. "Okay where to next? And do not lead me into a diaper pail... Gross!" He laughed.

"Hmmm? I think we should play 'Guess what room that you're in.' Sounds like a fun game... You pick a room, feel around and guess where you are. It will help you figure out how to use your pole... I mean cane, in unfamiliar situations."

Dee couldn't let that slip of the tongue go. It was just too tempting. "I all ready know how to use my pole. Now if I could just use it on Ryo..." Dee laughed. "Okay so I'm supposed to wander around the rooms huh? This should be fun." His grin got wider.

Dee had felt his way around the bathroom quite thoroughly in his adventure for the porcelain throne and so he picked the door next to it. He paused a moment as his feet hit carpeting, the only carpeting thus far in the whole house. He could feel the sun coming in the windows but it wasn't nearly as vibrant as downstairs in the living room, which meant the windows were smaller. Carefully he swept the cane in front of him and heard it clunk against something solid. He followed his cane to the object, touching it almost nervously. Wood. He felt over it more. With some sort of padding, feeling lower he felt drawers but it was too short to be a dresser... and with the pad on top...

"Aha a kid's room!" Dee smirked. "This is a changing table right?" Dee felt it again and was certain that that was what it was. He had seen many of them growing up in the orphanage.

"Yup! Hole in one Batman." Judging by his voice Andrew stood in the doorway watching Dee closely. "You wanna explore here some more or pick the next room? Though don't think you get out of daycare duty just because you are a guest. We pawn our children off on anyone with at least one arm."

"So tell me, how do I look after a kid or kids in this case, when I can't see them?" Dee asked as he moved around to the next piece of furniture, touching it to see what it was. His hands felt the long wooden slats of the safety guard of a wooden crib, as he simultaneously got his head tangled in a mobile.

"Well it's not like they are quiet or something. Kids are as much about your ears and your nose as seeing them. I mean I sure as hell don't turn on lights when I have to stumble in here at 2am getting interrupted after an hour of foreplay." Andrew explained softly.

Dee groaned slightly. "Sure mention sex... At least you're getting it." Dee winced knowing that there was a tinge of jealousy in his voice. "This feels like a nice crib... Well made. Not those cheesy ones you see at the department stores." He added to hopefully ease the edge off his voice.

"Thanks, I made it. In fact I made most of the furniture here, excluding the sofa and loveseat down stairs, the dinning room chairs and the bed Lyn and I share. That one is Annie's, it's a little higher then Keiry's. After making Kei's I realized that making it about six inches higher would make picking the kids up a lot easier."

"Smart move." Dee replied. His thoughts going back to Ryo and how he would most likely fall in love with this room. Dee knew how much he adored kids, how he yearned for his own. "Who knows maybe now Ryo's dreams of having biological kids can come true... Especially if I stay out of the picture." Dee dropped his head down, he hadn't meant to speak that out loud, it just slipped. "Uh... Yeah. Next thing..." He wanted to get out of there as quickly as he could. That room made him think too much.

"All right well Kei's crib is right behind you so just turn in place and head on out and pick the next room." Andrew instructed stepping away from the door. Dee obliged feeling his way back out of the room until his cane clicked on hardwood once again. He went straight across the hall feeling for the next door, and stepping in. He swept his cane about the room and its gentle tap echoed back at him. Surprised, he felt around the room in broad circles it took him a while to come upon something soft and low to the ground. Leaning down to touch it, he felt linen sheets and the soft squish of a pillow.

"Okay... Is this the rumpus room?" He grinned slightly. He needed to gain back that happy edge again but it wasn't coming. He wanted Ryo... Needed him but was too damned scared to go after what he wanted now. Marlo had seen to that.

"Well, actually it's your room now. Usually it's just my meditation room and Lyn's ritual room and for martial arts practice and yoga and stuff... It's very useful to have open floor space... eventually it will be either Kei or Annie's but yeah it's yours for now. There is a low bedside table to your right and a chair behind you a ways."

"So I get the doggy bed huh?" He laughed a little more. "Thanks for letting me stay. I'll try and make it a short stay. I do have my own place, though I doubt I'll ever want to live there again." Dee commented as he sat down on the mattress and rubbed at his throbbing knees.

Andrew's voice was gentle when he next spoke. "You are more then welcome to stay as long as you like Dee. We have more then enough room. With the girls still little this house is way too big. Lyn and I don't mind a bit."

"Where will I go after this? I can't go back to my apartment, the memories of the attack are just too strong and I can't go to Ryo's. I don't know where my future is anymore. I used to know. But now it's so messed up that I can't find which end is up." Running long fingers through ebony locks, Dee sighed sadly.

Limping across the room, Andrew gave Dee's shoulder a squeeze. "Take time to get your bearings again. Things will make sense again eventually. Your life has been turned on its ear. It's all right to feel a little over your head right now."

"Yeah I guess that you're right. I just noticed that you limp quite badly. How extensive were your injuries?" Dee asked as he stood again, yelping when his left knee locked.

Drew caught his elbow carefully. "Careful there. You all right?"

"Yeah my left knee locked but it's okay now. I feel like I'm 100 not 28... Damn!" Dee sighed.

"Tell me about it. Yeah the damage was pretty extensive. Ten surgeries... replaced a hip, a knee, and a kneecap. One ankle is held together with pins and wires. My pelvis had to be wired back together. There is a pin in one elbow... there were fifteen fractures in my legs not counting joint damage..."

"Ouch! Damn you sound like the Bionic Man only they didn't do as good of a job putting you back together." Dee grabbed Drew's arm. "Maybe we should take a break. This has to be killing your legs. Let us old fogies go sit and you can tell me just how in the world I will be able to pick out my own clothes and not look like I dressed in the dark."

"Sounds good to me. Yeah my legs hurt but I've been back at work for a couple of months now. I'm getting used to it." Drew guided him out into the hallway and over to the study. "This one's going to be hardest to maneuver. It's more crowded. Lyn and I both have a ton of books. A Chair is right behind you, go ahead and sit down." Andrew eased himself into the chair next to Dee's setting his crutch on the floor.

"Get Ryo in here and he may never leave. He loves to read." Dee explained as he found the chair and sat down. "You and Lyn sound like you two have really got it together, that's great. I just hope Lyn is able to help Ryo through all of this. I hate seeing him suffer but I don't know what else to do."

"Well we've also been together nearly three years and not to state the obvious or anything but you could try and work this through with him. It's your prerogative though."

"How can I help him when I'm barely standing on my own 2 feet?" Dee sighed heavily. "I love him too much to put him through my hell. That's why I made the decision to let him go. You said about Lyn that your sun and moon set on him right? Well to me Ryo is the reason I want to wake up every morning and the solitude I need to rest easily at night. He's my heart and soul and without him I'm nothing more then an empty shell." Dee lowered his head, taking deep breaths.

"He was absolutely distraught this morning Dee. He feels the same way about you. Positions reversed... if he was the one blinded and hurting, would you let him push you away or would you want to go through it with him every step of the way?"

"He wouldn't have a choice. I'd be there for him... I'd... dammit I'd love him just as much as I do now, maybe even more. Because I'd see his determination and courage as he would battle through it." Dee took more deep breaths. "Maybe things would have been different if Ryo had confessed his real feelings to me before all this happened. We would have had time to live as a real couple. We never got that chance... That bitch robbed us of that." Dee hissed with anger and resentment.

"Yeah she did. But you're letting her rob you of your future with him too."

"I don't want to Drew but until I can get it together up here..." He touched his head. "I can't deal with what's in here." He touched his chest.

"Well... again its you prerogative but here's my two cents then maybe you should be telling Ryo 'wait' instead of 'get the hell out of my life.'"

"What if I tell him to wait only I can never get it together? Is that fair to him?"

"You will get it together Dee." Andrew spoke with complete and utter assurance.

"I just wish that I had your confidence." Dee sighed. "Man I need more pain meds. My knees are really acting up today. This is the worse they've been in over a week."

"All right man." Andrew got up and limped to the room now known as Dee's and dug in his duffle bag producing the prescription bottle, grabbing a glass of water from the bathroom and handing both to Dee.

"Thanks." Dee took two pills out and popped them in his mouth. "Looks like I'll be napping in another half-hour. These things knock me out." Dee explained. "Drew can a blind person learn to sign?"

"Yeah those meds are killers." Andrew had to think about the later part of that conversation a moment. "Definitely. Generally it's used as tactile sign, meaning that you feel the signs... Why?"

"Would you teach me? I mean if I'm going to be hanging out here I may as well know how to communicate with the squirt. Also known as the little motorized monster." He chuckled. "She's worse then the Energizer bunny!"

"Believe me, I know. That kid can run both Lyn and I into the ground at the same time. You won't be able to do tactile with her yet. She is just really starting to get regular ASL(*) but I can show you how to sign to her."

"Okay I'd like that. Uh can we do that after a short nap? I need it badly." Dee smiled. "Actually I need other things even more badly but... A nap will do for now."

"Yeah definitely. We've got all day. You know where your room is right?" Andrew smiled in return, giving Dee's hand a squeeze as he passed. "It will be okay Dee."

"Piece of cake huh?" Dee sighed as he stood and then stopped. "You're an okay guy Drew. Maybe it was smart of Ryo to befriend you and Lyn. He's a great judge of character. There must have been something in you two that he really liked. Maybe he and Lyn will bond too. Ryo could use a best friend." Dee's smile spread.

"Just be forewarned. Once his shyness wears off, Ryo is a very touchy feely sort of guy. He likes being cuddly and such. He won't be afraid to love ya to death." Dee smirked. "Hey we'll both love ya to pieces after awhile."

"I think that we can cope with that." Andrew grinned. "Now go and get some sleep."

"And you get some rest too. Take advantage of not having a kid underfoot." Dee walked out of the room. "See ya in an hour or two." Dee walked into the room they had set up for him, easing down onto the mattress. Lying there he silently prayed and then thought of Ryo. "Wait for me lover... Please?"

General Notes: There's no music for this Chapter or for the next due to: (A) Irish is on Spring Break and, (B) we wanted to mainly use these two chapters as a way of giving you guys an insight to what Dee is going through. Irish was using the experience she has dealing with a friend who is blind. As much as we try to keep certain aspects factual there are times we will make a mistake and slip up. Please don't chastise us for that, okay? Dee's mood swings are something I myself have experienced while on pain meds for problems with my knees and they can go from one extreme to the next in a blink of an eye.
Our email address: Wildefyre_Irish@yahoo.com

*ASL: American Sign Language.
*Any brand names belong to their respective manufacturers or creators.
*Any Lyrics used belong to their writers and proper credit will be given at the completion of this story.
*Background histories fall under the heading of creative freedom so do not blast us for those.

Wildefyre: Uh oh Irish! We have Drew hugging Dee again! *Looks shocked* Got to love it though! Wait until we get things going between Ryo and Lyn! *Snickers* And no I don't mean it like that! You hentai! As you read this keep it in mind that Drew and Lyn are totally devoted to one another as are Dee and Ryo each other. Though I smell a side story in the future with those 4 and smut does come to mind. *Big Hentai Grin*
My website: http://www.angelfire.com/anime4/wildefyre

Irish: Irish: Remember Lyn is Irish and not every Country has the same cultural taboos about touching as America does. In some countries it is perfectly normal for two men to walk down the street holding hands. So get a clue and don't whine to us about it. Also, we are really appreciating the reviews we've gotten so everyone keep it up. Also as I've said before Lyn and Andrew's fic is on my website. I should have fan art for Lyn and Andrew upcoming in the near future. I have one pic that I own and at least two other people are working on some. Hope you all are enjoying this :)
My website: http://www.geocities.com/irishlefay